POUR MINDS Episode 271: No Decorum

Heyy yall!!! We have ANOTHER SOLO EPISODE for yall today!!!! We discussed your past effecting your future, sex facts, date etiquette & so much more! So Pour Crew, grab your drinks and Pour Up!
Save this link! All items of the week will be featured here! shopmy.us/public/pourmindspod...
Send Fan Mail To: 1452 Chattahoochee Ave NW GA 30318 United States
Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 678.827.1826
Want Advice? Email us @ [e-mail]
MUSE BEAUTY: www.musebeautycollection.com
LS CREAM LIQUEUR: www.creamls.com/pourminds
Lex P Playlist: open.spotify.com/playlist/4qr...
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp; BetterHelp has connected over 3 million people with licensed therapists. It’s convenient and accessible anywhere - 100% online. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/POURMINDS
Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to www.RocketMoney.com/POURMINDS.

[@DreaAndLex]

Hey y'all it's Drea, here's a few articles that provide research of growth mindsets vs. fixed mindsets.. There has actually been plenty of research to prove that your mindset can improve your life. I can always provide more, since I always just "disagree just to disagree" lol lindagraham-mft.net/change-your-mindset-change-your-life/ www.charlesleon.uk/blog/mindset-how-growth-or-fixed-mindsets-can-create-success-or-failure352020 Also here's the link to the book.. www.amazon.com/Courage-Be-Disliked-Phenomenon-Happiness/dp/1501197274/ref=asc_df_1501197274/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=245369089410&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4243357920827245647&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9010928&hvtargid=pla-554722105364&psc=1&mcid=7998615c9b39374ca3944e98c8ff5c00&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2KitBhCIARIsAPPMEhIQLXJMrwMihmpKv4lpTMZ3XmgprkzPTelZCdEduO-EraA_xDq0vx8aAlg9EALw_wcB

[@kaylad1669]

We love a baddie wit receipts 😅💅🏽

[@LaKae444]

Oop - well thanks for sharing 😂

[@deshaunademi8440]

Drea such a Taurus and I love it 😂

[@Kyralachelle3]

I am currently reading a book called “doing the work” by a holistic psychologist and the author shares countless stories of research of how it’s really all in our mind

[@DreaAndLex]

@@deshaunademi8440🌚😭

[@LavionicaJay]

Yall know who I want to see as a guest. Yall bartender ! That would be lit to get to know her more. She be vibing

[@mekellabuggs3994]

I second this!

[@ilovecalico2]

Yes!! And the people that be giggling behind the scenes 😂

[@LavionicaJay]

@@ilovecalico2 yasss 😂 that would fun too.

[@tashajourneys]

I agree!

[@_Tree]

The new segment could be called "The Open Bar" when you read comments from us The Pour Crew!!!

[@bri8639]

Ooooooo

[@catherinesaunders9175]

That would be hilarious 😂😂😂

[@DreaAndLex]

I like this!!

[@_Tree]

@@DreaAndLex that's what's up! All I want is a Shoutout. Im proud of you 2 and Im looking forward to the future. *gives tall person hug* 💯💯💯💯

[@simoneanderson878]

I LIKE DISSSSSSS

[@lagarrett1116]

Lex was pulling teeth during the mindset topic trying to get drea to understand her point . I def agree some ppl are wired differently. & the past does matter to an extent

[@SheaButterBallin]

It’s easy for somebody that’s never been homeless, in poverty, depressed etc to tell someone to just “change their mindset”. People that have known real, heart breaking, soul crushing struggle know what’s up. Nothing to argue about.

[@mekellabuggs3994]

I don’t think she was being offensive by saying this either. it’s simply true sometimes you cannot let your situation confine you for life…like she said…sometimes that DOES still happen…but she was more so motivating and pushing the thought of “rise above”…or did I only catch those vibes 😂I truly don’t think she was being insensitive and you don’t have to go thru someone’s EXACT struggle to feel them. nothing to argue about. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@SheaButterBallin]

@@mekellabuggs3994 Do you suffer from mental illness?

[@TheAfties]

Lex was absolutely correct on the 1st topic. We’re all wired differently.

[@vanillacooki3s]

I completely feel Lex about the whole depression topic. Drea wasn’t being very open minded.

[@enkwanzii]

Damn ANOTHER solo?! What did we do to deserve this?😭❤️

[@Key__314]

Man !!! They doing the Lord’s work with this

[@whatsupwithtorii]

When Lex recalled the time she had lived in her car.. I could tell she spoke from experience, and it’s inspiring to say the least💗✨

[@merkidabias3455]

The "mindset" conversation was constructive dialogue a lot of people need to hear. This dialogue also helps people understand how to communicate regardless of whether they agree or disagree. I like this.

[@DreaAndLex]

Thank you ❤️😊

[@tvtrixx]

I love how lex always gives reasonable knowledge to support her opinions and how she’s understanding multiple point of views! Instead of disagreeing and repeating the same claim. nice video to the both of you❤

[@TheAfties]

Exactly

[@DreaAndLex]

It's Drea.. Here's a few articles that provide research of growth mindsets vs. fixed mindsets.. There has actually been plenty of research to prove that your mindset can improve your life. I can always provide more.. lol lindagraham-mft.net/change-your-mindset-change-your-life/ www.charlesleon.uk/blog/mindset-how-growth-or-fixed-mindsets-can-create-success-or-failure352020 Also here's the link to the book.. www.amazon.com/Courage-Be-Disliked-Phenomenon-Happiness/dp/1501197274/ref=asc_df_1501197274/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=245369089410&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4243357920827245647&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9010928&hvtargid=pla-554722105364&psc=1&mcid=7998615c9b39374ca3944e98c8ff5c00&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2KitBhCIARIsAPPMEhIQLXJMrwMihmpKv4lpTMZ3XmgprkzPTelZCdEduO-EraA_xDq0vx8aAlg9EALw_wcB

[@Justbreeze90]

“Oh now you wanna wear a rubber” Lmao Lex is a fool

[@meetmya]

😂

[@ExperienceAp444]

Dre and lex have this same debate on life and they literally agree to disagree every single time on this exact convo 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️

[@amandar8699]

🤣🤣 I get both sides though

[@SapphireW123]

I agree with Lex on the hardships of getting out of certain circumstances. It’s more work someone may have to put in to get out than maybe the next person, such as someone who naturally knows finesse.

[@uniquatiana3823]

Ayooo Lex P you are a fucking star! It’s very rare that I bust out laughing at anything and you get me every episode. I think that Emmy is closer than you think girl.

[@DreaAndLex]

Thank you ❤️❤️

[@mercedesamour4611]

LEX WAS SPITTIN DURING THE MINDSET SEGMENT! I love how she was born into a soft life but is down to earth enough that she can understand how your past up bringing's can have an effect on your mindset, future and future self! Love her down!

[@ashleymac9730]

“Oh now you wanna wear rubber” Lmaooo LEX!!

[@MiaP98]

Both of yall are right! Research says that if “the cards you are dealt” are full of different traumas like financial trauma and homelessness it is very influential for your life path and also actually changes brain chemistry, but regardless of that foundation everyone has the personal ability to succeed

[@dericamiller6126]

Ehhh I agree with lex. Everyone doesn’t have the same thought process or emotional intelligence. Yes, some people do make excuses bc they don’t want to change their behavior BUT the past shapes who we are. It easy to say the past doesn’t matter and we have to choose to move on but unless you have the tools, resources, support, and/or knowledge your past can cripple you. IMO life is hard, some people don’t get dealt the best cards in life. It’s not fair to say that people just need to stop making excuses and change their mindset. Just my opinion but im interested to see what everyone else thinks!

[@GN97N]

I think your past doesn’t dictate your future, but your past has an impact on your journey. To expand, certain decisions an individual makes is based on their knowledge or circumstances from their past experiences. In a sense, you both are right, just speaking from different perspectives!

[@roniqueasia]

I completely agree with Drea on the first topic. Eventually you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself. It wasn't about how people view you from the outside, it's how you view yourself from the inside. That's why God and keeping in faith is so powerful

[@joi12345678]

Does the Past Matter? The answer is Yes. The hardwork from YOUR PAST matters just as much as the trauma. Not acknowledging that you have been traumatized will hold you back. Trauma causes psychological damage diagnosis or not. I agree with Lex. A lot of the times people don’t know where the root cause of their problems stem from and it’s not just a lack of motivation. It typically stems from something from their past. It must be acknowledged before you can solve the problem. Healing is necessary and Memory is key.

[@lj9352]

Regarding the first topic (Drea please share the name of the book!): Both of your viewpoints can be wrapped up with the understanding that *no one* handles *anything* the same way. You can believe in the power of choices while also accepting that, for a plethora of reasons, everyone may not have the capacity or knowledge to make the best/most courageous choices. What you consider an excuse may be someone else’s biggest obstacle. Empathy can put a lot of things in perspective.

[@DreaAndLex]

Hi boo, the book is called "The Courage To Be Disliked"

[@dericamiller6126]

Yesss I agree. You’re right, “what you consider an excuse may be someone else’s biggest obstacle.” Everyone isn’t wired the same. IMO when you’ve lived a “easier” life, you won’t understand that sometimes it’s wayyy more complex than a person just making excuses.

[@onlyfortherealdigitaltapes]

@@dericamiller6126💯that’s real

[@TheeChristineSabre]

Idk I think that Drea should open her mind up more when it comes to mental illness, how it develops, how trauma and ptsd affects our development and adulthood etc… then she’ll understand where lex was coming from. There’s more than just depression, everybody can’t just get up and do things. There’s literally changes that happen in your brain when traumatic things happen and it may take a while for someone to heal from it. If you never been in it you’ll never understand it.

[@DreaAndLex]

Hey boo.. My mind is open to it and idk why y'all are not comprehending that I'm obviously acknowledging mental illness and I understand how it can affect someone's ability to cope and maneuver through life.. I literally said that in the episode, so those are not the people I'm referring to.. It's like y'all are purposely choosing to hear what y'all want because y'all don't like the message..

[@breadwinner8585]

@@DreaAndLexselective hearing. Selective picking on what to run with. Drea, you are understood in what you said. You’re not wrong. Even homeless/addicts people will tell you their choices led them to where they are. People are dealt bad hands (As Lex said) but a lot of things are accessible now more than ever to start somewhere. Love y’all. Them ppl in the comments really bogus.

[@joi12345678]

⁠@@breadwinner8585It’s not selective hearing. The question is “Does the Past Matter” the answer is “Yes”. A diagnosis doesn’t change that answer.

[@TheeChristineSabre]

@@DreaAndLex No babe I heard that part, it’s not about comprehension at all. I just feel like you didn’t notice you were contradicting yourself by saying you understand mental illness but then saying “but ___ did it, why can’t you?” Or that you did it why can’t someone else. We know that some people made it and was able to figure it out, others just cannot, literally. You only really spoke about depression when speaking about mental illness as if it was the only thing that can affect someone’s ability to get up and get their life together. Some people’s trauma have affected them way worse than I think you know it can affect someone. That’s what I meant by open your mind to different illnesses not just depression and anxiety. I don’t think you were understanding what Lex was trying to say about that. I love the message I just love the right message because a lot of people who haven’t been able to get up and figure it out may have heard that and it could’ve put them down

[@stephaniebediako9263]

Trauma definitely plays a role in someone’s character or even personality because it’s an event that wasn’t resolved or forgotten, and now it’s a part of you. As adults, it’s our job to attend, treat, and try our best to resolve that trauma so that it it doesn’t hinder us in the future

[@DBillz]

I am from Maryland where the crabs are covered in Old Bay and special seasonings. You gotta go home and shower or risk pulling up to the next function smelling like a bag of chips. I’m with Lex on this one. Lol

[@kerstenj]

Ignorance is bliss. The past does matter, choices matter but the options / resources each person has doesn’t all equate to a successful life.

[@amandar8699]

I went to a Total Wine in MD and asked for LS Cream Liquor and they had it! I added it to my hot chocolate during this snowstorm and it was good!

[@_Tree]

Hey ladies! I like the intro. The evolution of this show from WineDown Wednesdays is such a telling story of how far you've come!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@FireDropMusic]

that jumpsuit looks sooo good on lex, that would’ve been my faithful jumpsuit too😍🤣

[@_.NoGimmicks]

Mindset discussion was great but as someone with major social anxiety that came from self isolating while depressed, even when I get into the mindset of dressing up, going out, and trying to socialize, I run into people who trigger me constantly. Being socially anxious and awkward can attract some negative attention. Life is so unserious though so I just take it one day at a time. Love Lex’s perspective. Everyone is wired different so not everyone can adapt the same mindset like ever..

[@Indigodreams555]

On that first topic… Drea where’s your empathy 😭

[@ineyshatyzhae]

i'm lovin how its been back to back videos of just ya two 🥰

[@donitaholmes]

As a person who has actually struggled due to the position my mom was in…I agree with Drea. I watched my mom struggle and blame everyone and everything around her. Nothing was ever her fault and she swore she was doing everything she could. I ran away @18, got pregnant @19 and I’m now 24 working for myself and working on a second business. I also provide for my mother, who is yet still struggling. I could’ve used what I went through as a crutch , instead I used it as motivation for what I didn’t want. It’s not easy. If it was easy , everyone would be successful, it’s definitely mindset!

[@brittnibenjamin5404]

I LOVE to see mental health topics being discussed in black spaces! But I will say that there is a responsibility one has to make sure that their opinions aren’t damaging to the greater community. If someone goes through something traumatic, it is not just a matter of choice. As Lex stated, there is a physiological response that occurs that affects one’s ability to think logically. On the other hand, growth mindsets are beneficial and healthy as well. I love that y’all’s topics are thought provoking! I’m a therapist and most ppl I see get their info/insight about mental health from the “culture” (social media) first before they see me.

[@pyt-jaae]

tbh, you can’t speak on anyone else’s personal experience but your own bc it’s a personal experience. you can’t invalidate someone else’s truth. it’s their truth, it doesn’t have to be yours.

[@pyt-jaae]

sometimes you have to experience it for yourself (like how they say “put yourself in their shoes,” if you were them, you’d do exactly what they do… and bc you’re you, you move how you move).

[@Roselove360]

I kept refreshing & finally! Just in time for my mile walk/jog 🙌🏽

[@shaymac4049]

Y’all do deserve more subscribers I never noticed how many yall had!

[@dominiquemanderson-gray2813]

Ya after watching this I’ve realized I REALLY MISS y’all SOLO episodes. This episode was So good 😌!

[@chrissyp5141]

You ladies are so intelligent. I love this podcast, very versatile topics! I definitely enjoy it more when you guys are solo. Also Lex I’m glad you mentioned the hair because I’ve been wondering the entire show lol! Love y’all ❤❤

[@keraz126]

This episode bringing me back to life...lex on one 😭😭

[@Kbabygirllove15]

Long time listener/viewer first time commenting lol! This is my favorite podcast. Y'all deserve your flowers ❤ So entertaining and relatable. I do prefer the solos over guests but I love all the episodes honestly

[@kaylanmendheim3373]

I definitely think your past shapes you into who you are but it’s up to you how you move forward.

[@Nada-ji9ou]

I appreciate the rawness in y’all content! ❣️ y’all really get me thru some days, always change my perspective & help me be more conscious & hold myself accountable. Thank y’all for the vibes!!! Don’t EVER take out karaoke segment 😭😭😭 def ate

[@MwilaKasase]

Another solo i love love love this 😂😂❤️

[@cupofchi_]

Drea! these colors are soooo pretty on you!

[@DreaAndLex]

Thank you ❤❤

[@keishacoles2758]

Anger is a secondary emotions. There is a negative emotion attached like shame, pride, or even sadness. I used to didn’t believe that until I learned to sit in my emotions

[@ciara-elainefranklin5923]

I love y’all so much and you’re both speaking facts. I just had this conversation with my mom about her choosing to stay in her house yet she complains about always being in the house and being alone. She states that’s where she feels most comfortable due to her health fears. She’s partly making excuses however, just because I don’t understand how her brain works and what her thought processes are, I can see that I need to lay off of her and give her grace. I don’t know what she’s going through and I can’t let my emotions of frustration create a wedge between us. It’s her choice to stay in the house

[@lovemoe5084]

I think you’re both right about the first topic. Eventually, if the smoke doesn’t clear , you have to make it ‼️ your pain isn’t your fault, but you’re responsible for your healing 🫶🏾

[@Avaren619]

I really like this show because even though I agree with one of yall more on topics, the other still makes a great point.

[@DreaAndLex]

Thank you ❤️❤️

[@alexamerritt3222]

no but the get into the bop performance at the end ATE DOWN!🤣🔥🔥 thanks for another great episode ladies! ❤️

[@pscih7149]

"all about love" by bell hooks is good. A hard read.

[@AshChanel]

I love this weeks episode! I laughed the whole time 😂

[@kristianrevels460]

I Just KNEWWWW IT WAS DREA who said “decorum” lol 😂 before I even clicked on the episode I said yeah DREA said that shit 😂😂😂😂😂

[@DreaAndLex]

Know me 😭😭

[@keyonnajohnson8230]

It’s the singing at the end for me🤣🤣 Lex is a fool! Love it!

[@cj10109]

I love y’all solo videos! It’s like listening to a conversation. ❤ I agree some people can talk themselves into some opportunities…

[@Gorgeous_Gretchen]

1st topic I agree with lex ppl handle situations differently and others shouldn't have a time frame for your trauma! How are you rushing my healing. Drea speaking from a cushioning place its not the same but I understand both.

[@liaferreiram]

Love a good solo episode!

[@lynnbrown2089]

Yall know we liveeee for the solo episodes ❤

[@Nunofyabizzzzz]

The nicest comments are always under a Pour Minds video. We love Drea and Lex

[@chyb7357]

Ooo Chile Dreaa you almost had me turn off the podcast 😂 you had me tight girl and I usually agree with you! You made the comment “I guess I believe in God.” Some people struggle to believe and it’s not because they don’t want to it can be complicated finding a way to build a relationship with the lord. Ultimately people are wired differently, both perspectives are valid. Same time… you have some people who never understand how to control their narrative and some who do yeaaars down the line or even soon. In regards to diagnosed depression and those who self diagnose is a thin line. I spent my first 2-3 years losing friendships, impulsive isolation and decision making. I knew something was off with me but couldn’t call it. By year 4 I had an intense mental breakdown was admitted to the doctor and they told me I had depression. So sometimes people can feel something is off doesn’t always have to be diagnosed immediately. Even so people do not have resources to health care or a support system (good friends, family) to check on them, help them figure stuff out along the way. I can say so much more. I get where you are coming from but there are some blind spots you aren’t seeing.

[@Nunofyabizzzzz]

I love when the girls talk about serious smart topics. It doesn’t always have to be about men and I love that. The first topic is such a good topic

[@Nunofyabizzzzz]

Drea isn’t budging on her opinion. There are lots of people that have gone through extreme traumas and/or dealt a bad hand and their past is also their present. But everyone is entitled to their opinion even if it’s harsh

[@user-sj5fs6ue8d]

This was a good episode. I was at work listening and couldn’t stop laughing

[@noway8224]

27:49 I still agree with Drea, The discussion definitely has a open perspective of hindering progression and obstacles that occur in the journey. But definitely believe in the impossible! However it’s not always dealt the same and the outcome isn’t dictated by us!

[@angelh6345]

Tai always glowing looking beautiful too I domt drink no more so vicariously drinking watching y'all and listening to the recipes ❤

[@jamyaharris1888]

from a loyal listener great episode had me laughing thee whole time ❤️😂

[@peaceluvheal3851]

This episode had me in real tears omg ! The whole dying with the butt plug scenario hilarious Omggg 😭😭😭

[@brittanidavis4877]

Happy Friday Ladies!🍾🥂

[@darrionb8325]

I love this show. Once I actually start to build a social media brand I will be on this show. I’m speaking it into existence.

[@jayegray5884]

I love they energy together ❤ 💕 💓

[@alyssacollins28]

Y’all ate that karaoke at the end 😂❤ I love y’all

[@MaiaMackenzie]

And im with lex im not going to party after juicy crab . Jumping all up and down garlic butter pootin on the dance floor . 😂

[@Itsvictoriasamone]

Right! 😂

[@DreaAndLex]

Pootin on the dance floor is crazy 😭

[@kilomiyzee]

This was such a great episodes! Idk why the people stressed out about the debate. Yall both had great points.The bed topic was hilariouss And yall read my youtube post on the show 🥹that was such a great surprise. This year is our year bookies ❤love yall

[@amiyahprince]

Fun fact Vitamin d? if you’re low on it you get depressed & it’s very common to be low in magnesium and vitamin d ;)

[@janienunez8853]

Y’all always make me laugh 😂

[@Oreossssssssify]

A really great convo in this episode

[@ArabaApau]

Lex is Hilarious 😂 that baby conversation had me in pieces lol.. drea made a good point about how it’s hard to love someone when you first meet them .. but Drea plz stop cutting Lex off 🙈 you do it a lot lol

[@user-ec7hk3qn6c]

love yall always make me laugh

[@janellepowell1893]

Im enjoying the solo episodes ❤

[@MissAzyaMaiya]

you know we love a good solo episode :)

[@naomilopez3590]

Here early! I love y’all ❤️❤️❤️😂💁🏽‍♀️

[@sincerelycdw]

The looks and the performance at the end 💋“chefs kiss”

[@arysspernell5517]

Yes Lex is correct. Just like your upbringing can affect your relationships, it can affect anything in life.

[@CarolinaBliss-zd4hl]

Y’all was cutting up tonight 😂😂😂 love y’all 💖

[@erneishadugar2896]

The new segment should be called "Pour Talk"❤ love from East Oakland Ca / Bay Area

[@TranscendQuinLR]

1:04:00 😭 Lex you’re me I’m you. The things we say be so out of pocket. We never take life serious. But at the same time we’re very serious when it comes to getting task completed😂😂

[@foodi.esti.nauti.]

Can we get a Pour minds x High Maintenance Tour? I love y’all down 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[@corijames8293]

Loveeee Lex, too real!❤

[@halegalore]

Yo , y’all funny asf😭😭😭 the no bib is sending me!

[@AdmiringFoliage-fo4zd]

I love y’all 😂❤

[@mekellabuggs3994]

I definitely understand what drea was saying just as much as lex. Sometimes..BOTH people are correct in various ways‼️💯sometimes you have to agree to disagree! They BOTHHH were being understanding of each other…💯😂idk WHAT yall be talking about fr.

[@ItsTeyona]

Great episode! ❤❤❤

[@Truly2GorgeB]

I totally agree with drea on the first topics!!!!

[@wordym.3435]

The fact that Drea took Lex serious from 12:10 to 12:30 is why y’all so funny to watch.

[@ratedmcausewemfgrown]

This episode was unhinged lmao 🤣 not the 😻 was to die for 😱😂

[@dunkinontheyheadz]

I love yallllll❤

[@loladj6560]

Karaoke was just lit 🔥 I was rolling my damn hips like I’m in a concert lmao ❤❤❤ love you lady’s

[@angelh6345]

Love the girls so much Lex looking like she standing on business w her outfit Looking corporate baddie I love drea looks too. The makeup is so beautiful and inspiring

[@Nunofyabizzzzz]

36:25 wow I was just thinking about this recently. It’s like this episode is for me!

[@ILUUVPRI]

sameeee lex 😂 i got this black jumpsuit i wear anytime i cant find nothing to wear lmaooo