POV: Abnormal Grieving at Death Visits (Hospice Nurse)

For all my “abnormal grievers,” new nurses, nursing students, and experienced nurses new to hospice- there is NO normal way to grieve. Be quick to empathize and slow to judge.
If you like reading, my book “The In-Between” is 12 patients whose advice and experiences changed my life. Its been a NYT bestseller for 17 weeks & is being made into a TV series by NBC Universal!
www.nursehadley.com/book

[@sweetbean9218]

When my 50 yr old son died, I had to keep moving. I found him, did CPR, all the arrangements, while caring for his 8 yr old son. If I stopped for one minute, I'd be overwhelmed and would not be able to do the necessary things.

[@pleadthefifth]

I understand that feeling. Gotta keep the momentum going. When my mom died I had to do the same for me and my younger sibling. But eventually I lost that momentum and it took years to get back on track… I hope you and your grandson are doing as well as possible.

[@carolynturk-hu7je]

@sweetbean9218 I am so sorry for your loss.😢❤

[@avisreid3199]

And that is understandable ❤

[@Godisfirst21]

God bless you Darling. I'm so sorry for your suffering.

[@stephanieswilley-arnold6886]

When my Mom passed unexpectedly in 2022, I had a sick Dad (Alzheimer's) and 4 kids (single Mom) to take care of. Stopping to grieve wasn't an option. I had to do my grieving as I continued to run around and take care of everyone and everything. Got called heartless by one of my sisters- more than once. I didn't have time to stop. Barely had time to remember to breathe. If it hadn't been for not having a choice but to keep going, I'd be in a very deep, very dark hole still to this day. I'm actually grateful now.

[@JudySterling]

When the doctors turned off my husband's life support, part of me expected him to start breathing on his own. Just a week earlier we were so in love and surrounded by happiness. Unaware of what was to come. Afterwards, six months of sitting quietly alone, staring at the walls. I looked normal and could speak. The grief rarely showed. People would try to comfort me with their own stories of loss. In my head I'd do the math and silently think, "You got X more years with your grandfather than I got with my husband." Silly, I know. We can die at any age. And we each cope with death in our own way. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. It's been 8 years since my husband died and I've never told these things to anyone. I'm okay now and life is good. Just very different than I imagined it would be.

[@sunshine9122]

I'm sorry for your loss. May your husband rest in peace. My husband died ten years and I still imagine him coming back home to me one day.

[@karynbanksley7110]

I’m so sorry Judy. How many years of marriage did you get to have with your loving husband?

[@SparklyMango13]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@paulaturley9118]

Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

[@JudySterling]

25 years. Seems long, but flew by. Thank you for asking 💕​@karynbanksley7110

[@elizabethbottroff1218]

As soon as my father's body was removed, Mom had many appointments. Every bit of medical furniture, equipment, devices, supplies, etc was removed from the home, especially the master bedroom. The caretaker helped us to rearrange all of the furniture back to original positions. We removed all of the medical clutter, and scoured everything clean. Then all of the doors and windows were opened to the fresh air, despite it being a frigidly cold March day. In a matter of hours, Mom had her home back. She was able to breathe better. She could visibly begin to relax. She could begin to grieve the loss of Dad, her best friend, the man that she had spent 46+ years with. She could focus on as many good shared memories as possible, not on the horror of his 18 months of decline after a major stroke. She was willing to have as many caretakers, helpers, medical equipment, and everything else to make it possible for him to be at home. But she needed to restore her house to a home, to spend time in a peaceful environment that they had built and shared, before the friends and family began to gather. We didn't have a funeral. We had a Celebration of Life. Edit: Thank you for all of the condolences and well-wishes. I am also glad that I was able to help some of you add to your understanding of how some of your loved ones reacted to their own losses. Peace to you all.

[@saoirsevicteoiria2759]

My condolences. Thank you for sharing. To a lot of people it might look, at first, like she was erasing him, and it's important that people understand that that's not the case. We could all wind up supporting a loved one who is grieving "abnormally", and you sharing your family's story may help them do that in a compassionate way.

[@Charlielizard]

What a beautiful way of handling grief. I had a very close friend who was married about 40 years to a wonderful nurse. We quickly became close friends. She was born with a kidney disorder and told she should never have children. She ended up pregnant with beautiful twins. Her kidneys failed and had several transplants which eventually failed. Through dialysis, she was able to watch both daughters graduate with Master's degrees. Years passed and she became weaker by the day. After over 20 years working full-time and serving as caretaker, she passed with her husband and daughters by her side. The girls had moved out years earlier, but he did the same thing. Hospice workers helped him return all medical equipment and dispose of supplies and medications. Meds were returned for destruction. He scrubbed everything and opened windows within 24 hours. His daughters were shocked and upset, but this was his way of dealing with grief. He finally sat down with photos and cried until he was emotionally drained. We all handle grief differently. In the end, his daughters realized what he was going through. Several years later, they traveled to the Grand Canyon and spread her ashes in a place that was sacred to both.☮️

[@cynthiaholland13]

I didn't understand when my mom did this. She even got rid of his clothes quickly. Now I understand

[@elizabethbottroff1218]

@@cynthiaholland13 I'm glad that I could help you to gain a better understanding. Mom and I spent the week going through the closets and designating what to keep and where all other items in his wardrobe would go. Except for a few key items of clothing, it was all gone. It gave her something to focus on. It also was a way for her to alleviate some of her loss by helping others. Keeping all of that stuff behind closet doors was just going to exacerbate her pain. Making sure that others had the benefit of his clothing and shoes, especially how expensive it is to purchase items that tall men need, it was a way for her to intentionally sow joy at a time of great pain.

[@cynthiaholland13]

@@elizabethbottroff1218 that's a beautiful perspective. Thank you for sharing.

[@amyspeers8012]

My father died at home in the middle of the night. My son lives with them and he and mom knew the time was getting close. My son is a night owl so he would stay up during the night with his grandpa. When my father died, the nurse came out and my son assisted her. My mom, married 60 years, could not. She said she just couldn’t bear to touch him after he died. She said she will be forever grateful for the hospice team and my son/her only grandchild.

[@joyfulhomemaker8053]

I gave my grandpa a final kiss on his head after he passed and I forever regret it. It didn’t feel like my grandpa and that’s the last memory I have w him 😢

[@cecilyerker]

@@joyfulhomemaker8053don’t regret it at all, you got to see that he left behind his earthly vessel like a shell, his soul is eternal and there’s nothing to feel bad about

[@t-and-p]

​​@@joyfulhomemaker8053I hope it's ok to reply - I'm truly sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience to your kiss when my grandfather died. I was young and my mother insisted on us all going to see him at the funeral home. I hated it. It didn't look like him. His face was wrong and he looked too small. It haunted me. A few years later, I was talking about it with a colleague, who happens to be a psychologist, and she said three things that really impacted me. First was that, if I hadn't seen him, I may have spent years feeling guilty and wondering if I should have. Although it was an awful experience, it gave me a definitive answer on what to do in similar situations in the future. She said to think of it as him continuing to guide me and teaching me one final lesson. The second thing she said was that him looking so different was a sign that he had gone and that, if I allowed it to be, it could subconsciously help me to grieve him, because I knew that he was gone and that I could see that his body could no longer support him. Lastly, she said that many people focus on their last interaction with someone, and that it's actually the focus we place on that interaction that haunts us more than anything. She said to look back and think about my other interactions with him over the years and remember that not all were good, but the only negative I was choosing to highlight in my mind was that last time - because it was the last time. She said if I took time periodically to remember the good times, and place focus on them, then I would find, over time, that last viewing to be less powerful. Still upsetting, but not as powerful in my mind, and not the first memory my mind went to. She was right, and it has really helped me limit the damage of that moment. Apologies for writing you an essay, but I'm sharing all of this because your experience sounds really similar to mine, so I hope that these things can help you as much as they have helped me. Sent with love and respect 💖

[@joyfulhomemaker8053]

@@t-and-p Thank you for the kind message

[@ipacarrollread]

@@t-and-p Thank you for your reply. It isn’t the prevalent memory I have when I think of my father but it has always bothered me that he was so cold when I saw him at the funeral home. I wasn’t there when he died so my stepmother arranged for me to see him even though they hadn’t yet prepared his body for viewing. It’s an awful memory because he was grayish and cold and I really knew at that moment that he was really dead but I would regret more not having a chance to see him alone and say goodbye. I think your psychologist friend is right that it was a really helpful moment to start really grieving. Thank you for being kind to @t-and-p. People on the internet so often aren’t. 😊

[@theamazingbiff]

When my grandmother passed, the whole extended family went home and isolated for a week with flu-like symptoms. We had been grieving the progression of her dementia for several years. So when her body expired, we simply had no energy left. Couple weeks later I took great pleasure in firing my therapist because she told me I was being "avoidant."

[@Anonymous-km5pj]

lol good for you, when you gain a macroscopic perspective everything changes.... keep going 💖

[@Crystal5672cats]

It’s unfortunate the therapist could not appreciate all of the anticipation grief you may have experienced leading up to the passing of your grandmother. I am sorry for your loss. It’s heartbreaking to me as anyone who has known someone with dementia knows that person was lost long before the body dies. I’m glad you were able to honor and care for her until the end.

[@paddleduck5328]

@@Crystal5672catsooh anticipation grief. What a great phrase to describe the awful limbo state.

[@theamazingbiff]

@Crystal5672cats Thank you. She transitioned during early 2020 and my family was extremely lucky. With her permission we pulled her out of her assisted living within hours of their locking down. After several weeks of home care we were able to find a hospice facility that allowed visitors on a limited basis. So my family was able to experience privilege denied to millions that year - a normal death. None of us took it for granted.

[@Anonymous-km5pj]

@@theamazingbiff wow... happy for you 👏How did you know not to be afraid ? Gov stats here in Canada say they knew 10% were "unreachable"; it's more, they want you to think it's less/feel alone. You are never alone, God bless you and your family.

[@emilycheek3077]

i dont think i woulld of been okay if my dads hospice nurse didnt hold me when he died... i called my husband over and over he was at work, he picked up and had a 30 mins drive, i cried and cried in her arms, she kept asking if my son was okay and he was napping, she let me watch the same video over and over of my dad singing baa baa black sheep, she didnt care, i needed a shower, food, sleep, but she just held me until my husband got there. i will forever be greatful even if i knew her only 4 hours

[@courtneymcrain22]

Stories like yours makes me proud to be a nurse

[@DeniseCampbell-g7l]

Grief is personal. My husband of 48 years had a heart attack at home and died instantly. The shock of seeing him die, doing CPR, having paramedics, sheriff deputies, a judge, and funeral employees in and out of the house that day; along with the grief of our sons and his family, left me in shock for months. I had to be busy every moment and exhaust myself before I could sleep, because my mind would flash back to that terrible morning when I closed my eyes. It’s been 7 months and I can just now watch a TV show and keep up with the plot, or read a book. People constantly tell me they don’t know what to say. The truth is there is nothing anyone can say which will make me miss him less. People just need to be kind and patient as those who are grieving make their way into their new lives.

[@SarahCampeau]

I’m so sorry for your devastating loss.😢

[@babyhandgrenade4004]

I'm so sorry

[@sharonpeterson896]

It's been 27 years since my sister in law went through Michael collapsing and dying at home. She still has severe night terrors.

[@njay4361]

Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing that!

[@californianorma876]

🫂🫂🫂

[@NobodysFavourite]

When my brother died unexpectedly his wife was pushing for everything to get done quick. I was offended. But I was thinking of him as my brother and not her husband. I can’t imagine losing my husband, especially at a young age with kids still at home. Literally any response would be possible under that degree of stress.

[@auntzoo-z7251]

It was kind of you to consider it from her perspective, especially while you're grieving, too. I'm sorry for you and for all who loved and lost him.

[@NobodysFavourite]

@@auntzoo-z7251 thank you. It’s been over 8 years and it still means so much to hear someone say they’re sorry he left so soon.

[@susiesparkles514]

Wow. That must have been so hard for both of you. I’m so sorry

[@littlelady3895]

When my husband passed, I tried to hold it together for everyone else, once everything was handled, and I was alone, that's when I broke down. I have always been a care giver of some sort, infant to elderly, disabled, mental, animals, if it needed to be cared for, I was the one. I have also always had to be the strong one. Reliable dependable responsible. I'm sure everyone thought I was crazy too. They don't see the broken part of me

[@dingbatbrown6641]

❤

[@NeversurrenderMM66]

I am this person for my family and friends, also. The one everyone relies on to be strong. I am guessing that, like me, no one is strong for you. The very few times I've asked for help, I've been told I can handle it. Don't stop asking for help if you need it!

[@dandymcgee]

We see you.

[@ReginaRedding]

You should copy what you wrote here, onto the first page of a journal. 🙌🫂🙏

[@michelegray5970]

I am that person also. It's HARD when you are the one that gets everything together and comforts everyone. Everything settles and I look around here I am alone having to comfort myself. 😒

[@deniseolson6158]

I can totally identify. My 90 - year- old mom passed recently. I was with her night and day for 2 weeks. The chores that kept me occupied were the only way I could cope. As long as they gave me purpose, I didn't have to admit the reality of my mom being gone.

[@amandaduncan9025]

Sorry for your loss 💜

[@susiesparkles514]

I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been to lose your mom. I hope you’re doing ok

[@k.c1126]

Yes, this. Similar reaction when my Dad died.

[@RunninUpThatHillh]

Yes, it is a rite of passage to lose a mother❤

[@strangerthingsaresaid7655]

Those of us who have been caregivers for our loved ones are on autopilot, just so we cannot lose our minds, while we lost our loved ones. It's a dark place to be when you are alive but feel dead inside.

[@mmps18]

This is so kind and nonjudgmental, thank you Nurse Hadley.

[@UmSalman-xp1wq]

It was before she died but I remember a young hospice social worker being confused by me when asking me about my grandmother. He wanted to know if he could support her with any end of life concerns (life after death, staying by her side when sad, etc), I told her she didn't care about that but if someone could come help her play bingo that would be fantastic. We'd watched her go through several life-threatening medical crises over the past several years and had already somewhat grieved as we thought she was going to die before. We also knew a) she didn't like talking about her feelings and especially with strangers, b) she was more than ready for her time to die after all the painful things she went through (but in a matter of fact way not a suicidal way), and c) she lived for the small simple pleasures in life, now mostly gone due to her declining mobility and dementia. He looked at me like I was crazy and insensitive for not being sad about her dying nor requesting emotional support. Really, bingo or card-playing support allowed her to participate in one of her few joys she had left... And we wanted her to have whatever joy she could.

[@ameliab324]

Oh man...that sounds so ignorant on his part. People don't owe it to anyone, especially a stranger, to be sad or act sad.

[@sharondoan1447]

There were no tears when our mother died either. We had cried ourselves out already. We were asked about that by her Pastor. We told him it was time to celebrate and be thankful. She had 91 years on earth and her new dwelling place was what she had longed to experience. He told us that it is rare for a family to have the kind of confidence in Heaven that we displayed and he was glad to see it.

[@bottomofastairwell]

that sounds lovely that you honored her wishes and what she wanted at the end of her life, and you helped her enjoy one of the few things she had left. everyone grieves differently, and it's especially weird when a death has been a long time coming and you've been processing it in part AS you've watched a loved one's decline. of course you'd want to focus on maximizing their joy in their final months or whatever time they have left. of course you'd want to make sure that whatever time they got was spent doing things they enjoyed that made them happy, even if it was little things like bingo. sounds like you were doing everything you could to ensure she was comfortable and happy at the end. and you DAMN SURE don't owe anyone an explanation about why you feel how you feel, you don't owe them certain emotions or acting the way they think you should.

[@meganwilliams2962]

@@sharondoan1447 I probably seemed hard hearted when my FIL passed. I'd cried myself dry over the 3 months I spent helping my MIL care for him. By the time he passed, I pretty much had worked through the loss. Whereas when my dad passed, it was a shock. We'd had lunch with him on the Saturday and we were going to meet up with him the next day at my Nanna's, he seemed well and doing ok. He passed from a myocardial infarct over night.

[@discogoth]

@@ameliab324 Newbies to death professions, especially who haven’t experienced significant deaths in their own lives, oftentimes don’t fully understand grief. My aunt and uncle are morticians/funeral directors; my brother is a first responder; I was a CNA who worked almost exclusively with hospice patients; my grandmother was an ER surgical tech; my other aunt and uncle lost their son to suicide; another cousin was killed by a drunk driver; and my dad’s parents had already passed when my mom’s dad died in March. We had all experienced and seen many different reactions to death. My grandfather’s cancer was a surprise to us all. He was gone a month after his diagnosis, 6 months after he got sick. We actually had almost the exact situation as in this video - experienced hospice nurse training a young brand-new nurse, with the newer one being concerned by our responses. Thank goodness we were one of the first families she worked with because it’s hard to hurt us emotionally with our backgrounds and we’ve almost all met that exact nurse before lol. But although they learn “everyone grieves differently” in school, I’ve noticed that it often takes newbies without personal experience with death a little while to really, truly understand what that means.

[@pachecodecastro2593]

When my father died suddenly and unexpectedly, it didn’t click on my sister right away. She treated the many friends who came to the wake just as she had treated them at our home parties. It took her a couple of weeks to come to terms with reality and then it hit her very hard. The whole family was concerned.

[@MedorraBlue]

When my dad died in hospice, I started laughing. I felt terrible, but it was just what happened. It was 3am, I had been up all night, and I just left the bathroom in his room. He died about 10 seconds after I flushed the toilet. I must've looked like I was insane, but I was just laughing because I was so glad that he waited for me to finish up before he left. For weeks after that, I was just acting like everything was normal. This video almost brought me to tears, because that's exactly what I was doing. About 2 weeks after, right after I had taken my flight home, my soon-to-be-ex therapist said to me, "I don't think you even care that he's dead. He lives, he dies, does it even matter to you?" Needless to say, there was no follow-up. But let's just say he was completely wrong. I cared so much that I didn't even know what to do with myself...

[@pkmcnett5649]

Glad that was an EX therapist. We all grieve so differently.

[@pilarq7886]

Actually nobody dies, they just go into some kind of deep sleep to be reawakened in future. Lazareth was WOKEN UP, famous UK Pastor Wigglesmith told his friend corpse in casket to rise up in name of Jesus and the corpse sat up slowly n went back to sleep. I don't know if it was embalmed if that would even matter. It's all over the bible the dead ARE ASLEEP and when Jesus returns Everybody will be woken up! You will be re-united with loved one for sure.

[@eveking6289]

​@pilarq7886 well that will be creepy when all the remaining skeleton bones of great grandad pop out of the ground. What about cremated people? My grandma was very religious (Christian) and was cremated, are you saying her ashes are going to start floating around 🤔 that would be freaky

[@pilarq7886]

@@eveking6289 you're twisting all my words around, *they only awaken when Jesus returns* - nothing creepy about that, but they are in a deep sleep until then. You must not know your Bible, bcuz Jesus told Lazareth to wake up - that's exactly what I'm talking about Good question surely it works for Cremation bcuz the hindu indians cremate in the rivers and their ways are ancient never wrong

[@mindofchrist2301]

The ashes will be turned into a body. Our Lord created Adam from dust.

[@spiderleenie]

When someone passes, there is, unfortunately, a lot to do. For a lot of people, the grief hits you after the funeral, when all of the planning is done, and regular life starts to go on without your loved one. My mom was in poor health and was in hospice care for 6 months before she passed. I grieved hard when she first entered hospice, but I felt a sense of relief when she passed because of how much she had suffered. It hurt still, but the actual grieving for me started when I was about to celebrate my first Holiday season without her (Christmas was her favorite thing in the world). Grief is hard. And grief is weird, too.

[@arizonashopper5095]

You are right. In widow groups, they say the 2nd year is harder than the 1st. Bc that's when all the business at hand is settled, and you are alone with your grief, without a distraction, for the first time.

[@jaymewilliamsfitness4352]

Couldn’t agree more. I’ve had pt’s families that want to be very involved with preparing their loved one for the funeral home, and those that can’t handle being in the room with them once they’ve passed. Everyone handles grief and loss differently, but one thing remains the same: their love for their loved one. ❤

[@jaymestratton6235]

Love how you spell your name!

[@jaymewilliamsfitness4352]

Haha thank you! Same to you! 😉

[@RunninUpThatHillh]

Do most people not want to be in the room? I wish I could but I just can't, I'm certain of it.

[@RedPearlPrincess10]

When my grandpa died after several years of pain and fading away physically and mentally, my grandma was actually incredibly relieved. She got everything with the funeral done, and then immediately began to flourish, because she'd spent the last years locked in her home caring for him and finally she didn't have to see her life partner suffer anymore and could resume living her own life. Me and dad cried a lot, but she had been mentally ready for years at that point.

[@rosameijering5161]

Yeah I think that it is different when you have many years to prepare emotionally

[@sharondoan1447]

@@RedPearlPrincess10 This is real. The caregiver has put all their physical and emotional stamina into meeting another person’s needs. Every need. Every day. For years . The husband, wife, or other loved one dies and both the cared for and the care giver are free. The tears have already been cried, many times. At the end of life if there is one thing I hope my family would know it is this. Life is for the living. Get busy doing what puts a smile on your face.

[@balconiesandbellinistravel4034]

Your channel helped me care for my mom through hospice. I appreciate what you’re doing. I learned so much.

[@Leyna1049]

I love how calm your voice is when you talk to clients, it’s so calming😊

[@Charlielizard]

With my career as a pediatric medical social worker, many children on my caseload were terminal. It was an exceptionally tough job, however, I never looked at it as a job. You have got to be the best hospice nurse I've ever seen. Your compassion is out of this world. I'm a strong believer in God and my faith is a continuous work in progress according to my priest. You were Heaven sent and doing something beautiful with your life.I truly believe that our Lord has a special place for you in Heaven. God bless 🙏🏻✝️❤️🌹

[@babytexan3038]

Thank you for the very important service you give through your career to those children and their loved ones!

[@Charlielizard]

@babytexan3038 Am making a leap of faith, assuming you were referring to me. I came to love each child and their family. I have memories that will never leave me. The smiles, tears, and especially their little arms around my neck. The hand-made cards and calls in the middle of the night. It was also costly. As my marriage suffered tremendously. My ex became angry and jealous of the time I spent with these innocent children. I filed and let her go to find what would make her happy. I retired early and have devoted my life to our Lord and helping others. I am finding peace with my two small fur baby rescues. These little boys are 8 years old but remind me of two year old toddlers. 😂

[@JessieB980]

THANK YOU. I wasn't a hospice nurse, but did CNA work for years where death was just part of the job. One thing you learn pretty quickly is that grieving is on a spectrum. Some people break down sobbing and can't move while other people are cracking jokes and baking cookies for guests, and both people are equally hurting and in valid pain. It's subject to people's personalities and coping systems.

[@MsElfi90]

People grief differently and sometimes people can be under shock, sometimes emotions come much later.

[@stephanieswilley-arnold6886]

You've got me crying today, Hadley. Thank you for being the wonderful human you are. You are truly called to this. I wish you many, many blessings.

[@suen5006]

My dad died suddenly at home one night. An hour later, Mom got up and started cleaning. It was her way of coping. She did a lot of cleaning in the next few months.

[@kaycampbell8532]

The most normal thing about grief is there is no normal. Everyone is different, some people show no emotion, some fall apart, others carry on as if nothing happened. We need to not judge and let them know we will be there if/when they need us. It's good to check up on them, ask how they're doing or invite them to lunch. Sometimes they need to talk but don't want to burden others. Some people feel abandoned when there's a death, friends may avoid them because they're uncomfortable with the subject.

[@allenrusselljr]

My mother's in such a heavy denial right now. Today's dads 23rd day (at home) on hospice. They celebrated 52 years together not long ago. Currently we're dealing with problem after problem with hospice and I'm about to try and switch hospice companies. They lack aids so none show up when they're supposed to. Two hours twice a week is minimal in my eyes and to have them not call or show up ...... We have no direct number for our team leader and have had 3 days where we needed help. Only to find out she was off and no one was available for 1 to 3 days. In a way it's easier to focus on dealing with that than with dad. Him crying out for his mother absolutely wrecks me ... Loved ones that have already passed have visited him. It's in God's hands Thank you for your videos

[@HeidiLindsey-jo8pe]

❤❤❤Hugs from AZ...

[@SkidVicious1971]

Sometimes I don't know what is more difficult. Watching your videos or reading the comments. Both are usually tear jerkers. I'm just so glad there are people such as yourself to do the hard work. You truly have a gift and I think you're right where God intended you to be. ❤ from Jersey

[@justyrahiljohnson4438]

🥺❤

[@teresakirkland995]

Sometimes we have to keep finding things to do ya know? Staying busy so we can keep it together and feel useful. Because we know when everyone is gone we will break down and it’s really scary. You are such a light ❤

[@erinlucero7499]

You are such an amazing nurse! Just the way you speak to the loved ones and the patient is so heartwarming ❤

[@Joanla1954]

I am 9 weeks in as of tomorrow. But when you're dealing with dementia the loss can be long before your loved one dies. REALLY needed to see this today, thank you! If this wasn't a skit my deepest condolences to the widow. For me it's the loss of my brother of 70 years.

[@ELucas-ih9wg]

Anticipatory grief is so real and common. I went through it myself. look it up, it'll help you a lot.

[@nonenone6566]

Wish you the best

[@colleenhaithcock216]

As someone who has worked in a nursing home and then also in private duty and on hospice care, I appreciate these videos thank you so much

[@sharonpeterson896]

We called Mama's hospice nurses our angels. 29 years later I still think of them as such. I couldn't have gotten through it without them.

[@theresabennett7924]

I did this for a week after my mom died. I took care of her and saw her take her last breath.

[@Anonymous-km5pj]

Can you tell us more what that was like ? My brother was w my mother when she passed, I feel like I missed something important.... Thank you for your comment 💖

[@paddleduck5328]

❤

[@RD4726C]

​@Anonymous-km5pj if you really want to know so it brings you comfort, I can tell you if you like. i have been their when my mum, dad , father in law and my neighbour passed. They were all different. i but i dont want to cause you any further upset. i can tell you if you like but I dont know if there is a way to message you. Take care ❤

[@theresabennett7924]

@@Anonymous-km5pj as a commenter said they are all different. My mother and father knew the Lord. There passing was very peaceful. I always make sure when I am with some one I make sure they have accepted the Lord and have repented. I will keep you in my prayers and pray for you to have peace. God Bless You

[@Anonymous-km5pj]

@@theresabennett7924 thank you and you, God bless you and yours✨

[@erinsheldon991]

Thank you so much for posting about this, my nana is living in house with us right and the nurses are always constantly in and out, she is dying. She’s in organ failure right now and I know she isn’t gonna last more than a couple days at most. But seeing videos like this and how much you care has set me at ease. She said today that she’s ready to go, I’m upset and I don’t know how long I’m gonna need off school to grieve after, but knowing that she’s made peace and that she’s ready to go with no regrets makes me feel just a little bit better. Again, thank you for posting content, it’s been a great help for me in coming to terms with her eventual death.

[@taeko3508]

I wish I knew nurse Hadley when my dog died. I know it was just a dog but he was my world because I grew up with him. His presence helped me through very complicated and confused moments of my life. Honestly he was the best friend I ever had. When he died I reacted badly. I had no experience with grief prior to this and him leaving broke me so much that I stopped talking. I wish I saw those videos at the time. It would have helped

[@cecilyerker]

No such thing as “just a dog.” Our dogs are better at understanding real love than humans. Dog spelled backwards is God.

[@shannonbarthelette4749]

My vet sends me condolences cards. It is a documented fact that a lot of us grieve our animals more than people. It's normal. They are better than us anyway.

[@sunshine9122]

I was the same when my dog died. He was like our child to my husband and I. When my husband died, he was my ultimate comfort and companion. Then I had to put my dog to sleep a few months after my husband died. It was devastating. Ten years later, I have tears rolling down my face while I type this as it still hurts so much.

[@pkmcnett5649]

Never just a dog. We had one that we were not with when she died, that was in 2017. Between that guilt and loving her to pieces, we still grieve. We got another dog, but Darci was special.

[@bekind5738]

I am so sorry for your loss of Hadley. Dogs are family. He was your best friend.

[@carinarose8600]

Your videos empowered me to see my grandfather after he passed. I’m so glad I did ❤ Thank you for everything you do

[@christinakeegan5149]

When my dad became severely ill (and passed just this June), it was our hospice nurses that helped us so greatly. They shaved my dad - who wouldn't let any of us shave him because we were family and he wanted privacy. No other hospice would take my dad - just this one tiny little hospice in Texas named Votive Hospice. They are the most stellar, most compassionate team of individuals that I have ever met, and I thank God every day that they were put into our path. They gave my dad dignity in death.

[@hannahmyers23]

I lost my mom a little over a year ago and was one of her primary caregivers, I can understand the mindset of not knowing what else to do other than care giving. I didn't personally have that mindset when she died, but before the funeral home people came I had sat on the floor of the bedroom crying and holding her hand and talking to her for about an hour. Kind of like one last vigil. I was with her when she passed, holding her hand.

[@johncarter4411]

My Dad just passed away unexpectedly, he lives far away and has a good friend in the town he lives in, that is taking care of all of the arrangements, she has called and texted me over 200 times so far and runs everything by me, made it possible for me to not have to fly on an airplane while grieving. What a caring and thoughtful person, also I think this is how she is handling her loss as well. Now I can plan a nice trip to his memorial in a few months and still feel like I have a little closure now. I went back to work after 3 days and have been pulling a lot of overtime. Must be that's how I'm handling it. Great video.

[@jojo1234a]

I cared for my Dad while he passed from a rare and very aggressive cancer. Mum was there too and cared in the best way she could, but she broke down so much (understandably). Dad passed young, and wanted to die at home, the only way for this to happen was if I dropped everything to be a carer, I did in a heartbeat, arranging alternative childcare etc. When he died, I held everyone else up, arranged everything, called for them to take his body etc etc. I then turned my attentions to looking after my bereft mother and other family members and also arranging the funeral and tying up all the loose ends etc. One of the hospice nurses came for a final visit a few days after dad passed and noticed how I was coping, and she did the kindest thing which I didn’t recognize at the time. She asked me to help her count through all the medications and syringes etc and make a list of what was there, before I took it all to a pharmacy later than week to be destroyed. I didn’t realize at the time, but she knew I still needed to busy myself, I couldn’t leave that care role so fast. In hindsight, it didn’t matter what medications were there or not. There was no need for a list. But I was doing a task that I had become so used to. I felt a sense of continued purpose. I had a moment of normal, doing the things I had been doing for many months. She thanked me for my help and hugged us all goodbye, told us what a joy it was to have cared for my lovely Dad, and how sad he had passed at such a young age. That hospice nurse potentially saved me from losing my mind. She saw where I was, and met me there on the same wavelength instead of judging me or telling me to be different. Hospice, including hospice at home, is truly a part of our world which we didn’t know even existed until we needed them. They played a huge part in dad’s final chapter of life. Thank you hospice.

[@arizonashopper5095]

What a lovely story. Thank you for sharing that. ❤

[@mariannetfinches]

I've had this same conversation with so many students veterinary nurses around euthanasia. It's funny, clients sometimes apologize for crying, but the nurses expect that. When they see someone all calm & not wanting to be with their pet it can be confusing. I remind them that there's no wrong way to grieve. If anything I only feel bad that some clients don't get to see for themselves how peaceful it is. I think our minds can imagine things being much scarier than reality. I think that can be true of human death too, to a degree

[@pkmcnett5649]

When my one dog died, I went to the vet to return meds. I sort of ran out. One of the vet assistants came out to the car saying, "I am sorry, I did not realize it was you." She hugged me, and I sobbed on her shoulder. (Crying now) They all felt bad, too, because the dog's death was so unexpected.

[@eveking6289]

One of our wonderful piggies had been basically living a hospice life for a few years, he had an inoperable lump on his side that was most likely cancer. He was my everything and after he lost his brother he was to ill for a new cage friend. I got him out every day and would cuddle him on the sofa for hours every evening so he had company. I loved him so much and sobbed my heart out when we had to say goodbye at the vets. He went downhill very rapidly and was in alot of pain, but having to say goodbye was the hardest thing I ever had to do. People were staring at me when I left the room in tears but I didnt care. The vet said because they were using gas we weren't allowed to be in the room with him when he went. That was awful, but they let us say goodbye and I gave him strokes and kisses and said he would be pain free and I knew he would be with his brother again at least. The vet reassured me that they would spoil him with love and strokes, and she came out to the car after and said he fell asleep peacefully and quickly. It's been two years and I still miss him every day. We got two girls guinea pigs a couple of weeks before he passed away and I was so happy that he was going to have some friends to play with for short periods of time. (He had his own cage) and it still upsets me that they never got to properly meet each other. But I did lift him up gently to say hello to them through the bars. I kept his salt lick and a cardboard tube that he nibbles on and I could never get rid of them. I find it easier to hang out with animals than people and I will always treasure and miss my little old man ❤

[@minecraftingmom]

The way she had that outfit ready to go and that "I don't think I can" had me in tears. You clearly observe your clients with care and compassion

[@stevea9604]

Grief can be like the ocean…calm and serene or huge and overwhelming, it can come & go…It just depends…How people handle grief is as different as people are…

[@leahw2124]

My step mum was like this when my mother passed. They were together for 20 years and she spent a lot of that caring for mum after she was diagnosed with brain cancer. Once mum was in a coma and wasn't expected to come out, she said her goodbyes and went home and started getting rid of her mobility aids, hospital bed and hoist etc. She had already grieved and said her goodbyes in her own way but there was no doubt how devoted and how much she adored my mum. We made sure someone was always with mum before she passed because she didn't want to be alone. I miss her so much everyday. Sometimes I have dreams about her passing and I wake up and think "oh God it was just a dream" right before reality hits. She got sick when I was 11 so it was all I really knew but she fought so hard and endured so much. I loathe when people say "she lost her battle with cancer." She didn't lose anything. She fought really hard.

[@Himmiefan]

I was with my mother when she passed (on hospice). I immediately got the nurse but didn't go back in. I didn't even do the official ID when she was in her coffin because I never wanted to see either of my parents dead.

[@tinkeramma]

That's a completely fair request. Better to remember them alive and full of love. When I lost my 6yo daughter, my experience was very different. Because it was expected and she was so young, I was holding her for hours and loving her from this life to the next. It gave me comfort to do the many cares after, but I have memories of her body and how it wasn't really her. I don't regret my decision to do those cares for her. It was the right decision for me. It's not the right decision for everyone. It would have been extremely difficult for her father to do the same. He was also there when she passed, but when she was gone, he turned to caring for our surviving children. There's no wrong way to grieve.

[@sunshine9122]

@@tinkeramma I'm so sorry. May your sweet, precious baby girl rest in peace.🕊❤

[@InExcelsisDeo24]

@@tinkerammaSo sorry for your loss. What a beautiful way for your daughter to leave this world - so loved, so cared for. You can do anything when your mom is with you. She must have felt very safe.

[@beccathompson7635]

When my Dad passed and they notified me I said. "Oh my gosh, wow... It's over". He had ALS and steeply declined between Oct '23 and June '24. I cried in 6 different hospitals and 3 nursing homes. I cried most of the hour drive to and from visiting him 2x'a a week. I cried in the hallway when his mind went and the countless times he almost died. When he passed for 2 or 3 days all I could feel was relief for the both of us. I miss my Dad but not watching him struggle day in and day out.

[@TallCFarms]

I was my Dad's caretaker and his last 6 months were a steady, but obvious decline. He went to the hospital when he fell and got sick, spent 6 days at a rehab, and was doing better, before he crashed and was sent back to the hospital. I kinda knew it was coming. All the signs were there and the day before he went back to the hospital, he was visioning. And when I saw him the next morning at the hospital, he had the terminal secretions. The doctors/nurses all kinda gaslit us and kept running tests and setting up therapy and rehab for him to get moved to, but I could tell it was coming. During a lull in all the "visits," we were sitting quitely (he had finally got to sleep and wasn't seemingly distressed anymore), a nurse came in and said his heart rate was dropping fast, and it looked like it was time. My brother and I held his hands as he passed. My sister was on her way, but was glad she got there 10 minutes late. She said she would not have been able to handle being there earlier. We all handle what we can handle. Both of them took care of all the after stuff. I just couldn't do that. I miss him. He was 90 years old and died 8 years and 10 days after Mom died from cancer.

[@surewhatever8843]

Thank you. I have delayed grief. The bigger the loss the longer it takes to show up and when it does, it’s quite messy. Others are often first disturbed by my lack of emotion, then just as disturbed by my delayed emotion. I appreciate you teaching there’s no single way to grieve.

[@777ER]

I am overwhelmed by the size of your heart. Thank you for the important work that you do. I hope the universe sends me somebody as wonderful as you when it is my turn to deal with these kind of hard things.

[@Im_Dee12ell12]

My friend, 11 years old, 5th grade. Passed in a car crash, along with my grandpa, and great grandma. You aspired me to be a hospice nurse when I grow up.

[@kirag.7813]

@lm_Dee12 sorry for your loss 😢 Hospice nurses are very special, I'm sure you will do very well if you choose to become one ❤

[@elderlypoodle9181]

My mother was at her home in hospice. I had spent her five days and nights staying with her. It was the most spiritual event I had ever witnessed. When I woke up on the fifth day from her loveseat I heard silence. I called hospice to come. She had passed. My brain was processing and I went on autopilot. It must have seemed cold to others. They didn’t know I had taken care of her for 10 years watching her slowly go. Please don’t judge anyone’s reaction to a loved ones death. You have no idea.

[@pinkyflee6382]

You are an Angel. I wish more nurses/doctors were like you. Having someone tell you next steps when your mind clearly has not caught up to the situation 100% helps immensely! Thank you for sharing this 💖

[@antjobert]

OMG, this video just made me cry. Legitimately. Your compassion for your patients and their families is amazing. I accompanied both my parents at the end of their lives during the pandemic and was so lucky to have compassionate nurses like you. Thank you so much for what you do for and with families and those who are dying.

[@k.c1126]

Staying busy, especially for the spouse or caregiver is how a lot of people cope.... I'm convinced funeral food prep is a grief response for many people. Thanks for sharing.

[@ladybalhook]

Grief is strange. This is helpful to see and know that when we grieve sometimes others see it as odd, but we can just be trying to process and accept it.

[@kimwells8395]

When my dad passed away and my sister and I got the call to come see him. That's when it all hit and I didn't know what to do or say. I was so numb and I didn't want to believe it yet even though we knew it was getting closer. Being from the nursing field I could at times see myself trying to block everything like he was a patient so I spared my hurt, which now I wish I didn't because now there is so much I wish I would have said or talked with him prior to him passing. Losing someone so close is very hard.

[@TamraOstrihonsky]

I’m a nurse and really enjoyed this…grief is very personal. Sometimes we forget to slow down instead of rushing through it or judging ❤

[@rickydevil3314]

I've never been in this situation, but if the time ever does come where I would need a hospice nurse, I hope they are as caring as you. Thank you for helping those who are in need of your care.❤

[@NotMee45]

I had to call hospice in for my mom 3 weeks ago. These nurses are the most beautiful souls I have ever met❤

[@justanamerican9024]

I recently lost my SO. She did not wake up from anesthesia after an operation. I had so hoped she would live out her final days and be at home with loved ones around her. Thank you for this important video, losing someone is a very personal thing, everyone reacts/responds differently and on their own personal time table.

[@truepenny2514]

Thanks for this. My loved one is very ill right now; it's comforting to know whatever reaction I have at the time will be the right one.

[@CoffeeCatsAndTrueCrime]

You are exactly the kind of nurse I pray my mother gets, when her time comes. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, compassion and light with us all ❤

[@kalliefxh]

You inspire me everyday to be a better person. You are my job inspiration. Hoping to be like you and brighten people’s lives.

[@amandaloveless4369]

You never know how you will handle death … I was extremely close with my Mom my whole life so my biggest fear in life was her dying. I genuinely didn’t think I’d survive losing her for many years. I had panic attacks and anxiety attacks just thinking about it. Then completely out of the blue she passed away in her sleep (she was 63) and l found her in the morning. I didn’t even cry! I’m sure l was in shock. I called an ambulance and after it came (l knew she was gone already) l remained calm because l had to go tend to my son so he wouldn’t see the chaos and that be his last memory of my mom. - l was terrified all my life for that moment and then when it came l just handled it.

[@kathleengainor8532]

Hadley, you are very good at your role. You have a very kind, understanding demeanor.

[@infadeldog13]

This is a great video Nurse Hadley. You and your colleagues around the world who manage this side of the human experience are so important and valued - thank you.

[@ChildishBeard]

Your videos have been amazing to watch. I recently found out that you wrote a book and rushed to audible to get it. Your stories are so inspiring and have helped me understand my grandads passing. Ps he passed a few years ago but it has always been hard to process. You have really helped. Ty

[@CynVee]

Nurse Hadley you are such a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. Thank you for explaining this to people. When my beloved father died I couldn't look at him. My heart was breaking too much and I didn't want to remember him like that. Thank God, my loved ones understood. Again, thank you. ❤

[@hoddypeak]

Her levels of wholesome is enough to make me cry

[@annagarcia9619]

This reminded me of when my dad passed 5 years ago, we still hadn't made his funeral arrangements and mom started trying to get rid of his clothes. We were all in shock and asked her why she was doing that, she said I don't want to have to see his stuff so we gave her a plastic tub to put his things in as a compromise.

[@TisOnlyAScratch]

Thanks for rescuing those. I got some clothes from my Grandparents after their death. Brings up fond memories every time I see those clothes now.

[@k.c1126]

I understand that. Keeping the clothes around is a constant reminder that the loved one is gone. While some may find this comforting, others feel emotionally abraded.

[@janiefox3458]

This in a strange way reminds me of the opposite end of the spectrum. I once had a patient whose daughter was the main caregiver -- and her response to his death was almost more than I could handle - I thought she was going to tear me up and that is why almost 40 years later I still remember that night. Basically, she was blaming me and the medical community for allowing her father to die.

[@TisOnlyAScratch]

My husband is a military Chaplain. One of his most difficult duties to day was being present to notify a family that a member of his unit died in the line of duty. (4 died, 1 civilian, 3 unit members). He said the mother fainted. When it came time for a memorial gathering for all three members, he avoided that mother in order to avoid causing her more trauma. She did speak with him but didn't recognize him. Blamed the notification team for not notifying them earlier....(it occured 12 hours prior and takes time just to get in contact with people, those people to drop what they're doing, get in uniform, and travel to the necessary meeting points.) He understands and takes the blame from her because she needs a target for her emotions. It minimizes other potentialtargets. The father (understands my Husband's position) recognized him but didn't reveal his ID to his wife and helped them avoid each other. Thank you for your work and taking on that burden. I can't imagine what it's like.

[@SENSEF]

Sounds like you were dealing with a narcissist, maybe a psychopath. My mother-in-law still blames the ambulance driver for being too slow "causing" her mother to die. Uh... she was 80-something. Old age. But she can't accept reality, acts like her mother would still be alive at 120 if only that ambulance driver had driven faster. 🙄 Some people are delusional about death coming for us all and can't survive their grief without blaming someone. It's twisted.

[@now591]

@@SENSEF Let her. You don't have to twist it into something malevolent sounding.

[@janemarsh4762]

@@SENSEFthis is normal grief

[@sandramurray5879]

That was so real that it made me cry. I remember when my mother was dying and it brought back memories. It's good to watch these videos as it will help those who care for a person who is at the end of their life.

[@endorathewitchwriter1712]

My dad died at home. He was 53. The hospice nurse was wonderful. I remember crying on the floor outside my parents room, holding my son and pregnant at the same time with my daughter, the nurse hugged me...

[@mycheallekoetje938]

Thank you for making these videos and especially for writing your book. Last weekend, we lost my step-dad. I did CPR until the paramedics got there. My Mama had days that she was so busy and then days that she seemed she was falling apart. I left your book out for her to read. It has really helped me. Thank you for helping us through our hardest times. Bless you.

[@choupette_]

I didn't live with my father so it didn't hit me that he'd actually died and there would be no more visits to see him, no more holidays, no more phone calls or parcels in the post. It took over 2-3 years for it to sink in and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. But it was so much later that I cried in private, in the shower, sometimes in class and hoped nobody was looking at me. I miss him to this day but at least I can cope. I had therapy nearly 20 years later.

[@heatherudchic7837]

I love what you do and the kind of person you are. This made me want to cry, you are so kind and understanding.

[@ryansenft3315]

Thank you for the validation. I'm certainly not the only one who reacts to death and loss "differently." Note the quotation marks.

[@juliemarie693]

You brought me to tears today. Thank you for your this.

[@lindseyclick369]

I took care of my mom by myself with the exception of the AMAZING hospice staff. When mom passed away her nurse came to the house to be with me until my family could get there. She was so caring and compassionate.

[@RachelMyers-kc1ze]

I get this. When my beloved was killed in a cycling accident I immediately went into work mode. I started calling people to let them know and console them. I made arrangements for our pets for the next few days, and I called the funeral home. I'm sure some people felt I didn't care, but I was shattered, and I was just controlling what I could. In the months afterwards I developed extreme anxiety and paranoia. I was bonkers.

[@BW-sm4wu]

when my husband died suddenly at the age of 37, I could not eat for 3 days, I just walked around the house, collecting all his things and putting them in a dedicated room. That was all that had any meaning to me at the time.

[@stephiebella]

After my grandma died and the funeral was over and all the things were done, I shut down a bit. I had cried and gone through all the emotions but once all the work of her death was over, I just didn’t want to feel it all anymore. I couldn’t bear to have someone hug me or touch me with that sad voice people use sometimes when talking to someone who is grieving. I would feel it all at once like the grief would consume me. I was afraid if I started crying, I would never stop. Grief is so different and the same for all of us.

[@dorothyblake7036]

My father was on hospice since mid September. He was getting better until early November when he started having problems with congestive heart failure. On December 22, my brother passed away and our dad lost the will to go on. He was depressed and heartbroken. He passed away on December 31. I found him. My sister and I are grateful to know he's with our mom and brother in heaven and we're going to see them again.

[@angierichter2240]

You're such a wonderful person working in the industry that you work in. You're a strong woman and even though you are way younger than me I look up to you so very much. I very just about every time I see one of your videos.

[@gibbswalls3088]

The best that I can guess is you have been in dispose for 2 months. Your humor was helpful in my personal dealings with grief. I know you are going through a lot on your end. Love and respect.

[@pelicanformation3802]

You tell a beautiful story. It is true that we are all different in our love and in our grief.

[@kauaichan]

Shock is a helluva thing. Don’t judge people, sometimes it’s all we can do to distract your mind from crumbling.

[@bigedslobotomy]

Also, what seems to be “abnormal” grieving may simply be relief. If a care giver has taken care of a dying family member for a long time (and who were probably disabled for a long time before that), they can feel relief that they no longer have to be “strong” and care for the dead person. They can also experience guilt at feeling that relief. It can be a very confusing time.

[@SRose-vp6ew]

Some people keep busy or need a vacation or need to not think about it at all and just reset and refocus or move on right away, but they may still mourn and reminisce even months later when they’re ready to reflect after a much-needed break from that person being their constant focus. God allowing a person to delay grief till they are in a healthy place to grieve after finding their new grounding after some needed rest and recharging is a blessing. Some people are just too exhausted to even entertain the thought of grieving or too busy to grieve without actually carving out time when they are ready. They need to do what needs to be done and will save reflection and such for much later.

[@amyovecka6495]

this was so simple and yet so profound in its humanity and gentleness. ♥️

[@kittyvlekkie]

My father was abusive and i only learnt at 26, I've also cut contact since november, and it's been not even a year since i knew so i wanted to throw a funeral because i noticed i was mourning, the part of me that genuinely enjoyed what we had, little parts of it. and also for me to mourn the hope of him ever changing. and to mourn what i didn't have back then. I'm actually planning a place and even rent an empty casket even though noone died. but to me, that dad i appreciated did. I'm glad you shared about there being no weird way to mourn, because i noticed this is really healing for me. the funeral is set for September

[@yaboicolleen]

I hope it goes well!

[@madalyntanner4003]

When my mom passed in Feb. I was constantly trying to get the next steps done. I was so emotionally numb picking out her clothes. I wouldn't let myself slow down to think about her being gone.

[@thomiegun1]

Hi, thank you. I can only watch a couple of your videos at a time, but that's ok. They make me feel so many things at once. You're an angel.

[@zoe2466]

You women are amazing.❤❤❤ May God give you supernatural strength to get through your days. You all took care of my Mom in her end days from bc.

[@starlightanddreams1317]

When my Dad died I took his oxygen off. I knew it bothered him and it felt good to look at him without it. I was grateful for him to be free of it. I also followed his body to the crematorium. My partner came with me. He understood that I wanted to make sure he was delivered and placed correctly. The attendants at the facility let me press the button and start the process. They showed me where they put his name and information. When I asked if it was a strange request the funeral guys were so nice. They said the same thing. Everyone grieves thier own way.

[@tanichik3]

Thank you for all that you do. Ive watched some videos and I've just gotten your book. I've recently had a loved one pass and so much made sense after listening to some of your videos. Thank you ❤

[@susanbischoff4007]

Thank you for being so compassionate.

[@Hellzladee04]

I’m my moms caregiver and she has dementia. Her twin sister recently died from dementia complications. I’ve been preparing myself for years. I’m worried that I won’t know how to grieve and move on properly. She always tells me that I will because I know that I gave her my all and she appreciated every moment but wants me to go do the things she couldn’t. Anything else wouldn’t be honoring her memory or myself. So I will be fine. I love that she keeps me encouraged for the moment.

[@happigalart1689]

My parents each passed within four months- each passed at home. I was so surprised at my reaction to both. I def was still in ‘caregiving mode’ even helping wash and dress my mom after her passing. I sat with my father for over an hour just looking at him. Cleaning, straightening up, tucking him in etc. cleaning the room before nurses or funeral people came to the house- this video was me. I was lucky as I had my siblings helping too.

[@Jimoutdoors]

What an awesome video! I didn’t grieve too much knowing where my dad went was much better than this life. I was happy for him.