PREGNANCY OUT OF WEDLOCK AS A CHRISTIAN/ Dealing with guilt and shame

[@emilymargaretstoehr9826]

My boyfriend and I are in the exact same position as yall were. I am terrified to tell my religious family and they do not like my boyfriend. I know in the end, they will love and support us, but we could use some prayer during the turmoil of their own emotions. I would love to see a video on how you talked to your parents about it. God shines light from yalls eyes - yall are such a BEAUTIFUL couple!

[@petkal2053]

Making a mistake and admitting that you did it and asking for forgiveness is a very big step in life. Do you remember Peter the disciple of God was told that he would deny Jesus despite being told that it was going to happen. Turning the negative into a positive is what you did. Your testimony is a blessing to people who are going through the same thing. What we've got to remember is the devil is real and trying to pull us to defying God but when you are got at your weakest point God's door is open and forgiving when we turn back to him.

[@TheEkimas.]

That is true @petkal2053. Thank you for weighing in.

[@Gracenew-ms7wj]

I understand the shame that comes with pregnancy out of wedlock especially if the man isnot your fiance not even your husband to be. So, child of God, it is wise to abstain until marriage,it shields you from a lot of stress,shame and many questions to answer

[@nabwiremarypatience305]

Thank you Mr and Mrs Ekima for sharing such personal details about your lives in this episode. I give thanks to God who is ministering to us through you. I just finished my first bachelors recently and still single and I've started feeling pressure from society to have children outside marriage because many claim that it's okay. I really do want children but am going to patiently wait for marriage so that I don't experience that guilt. It's not enough to just be in love but it's important to do things God's way.

[@TheEkimas.]

So glad this was helpful Patience. You can never go wrong with doing things God’s way. 1 Corinthians 3:19 says that the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. So many things the world will approve as ok but they are all foolishness. Let the word of God guide your decision. We pray that in his time he will make all things work out for your good according to his perfect will.

[@antheaanderson7074]

I was born out ofwedlock, I am 39 years old now, and still single, with no kids, when the time is right, God will make it happen, don't be pressured by society, it also now motivated me to do things the right way

[@TheEkimas.]

⁠ thank you for sharing @@antheaanderson7074 we agree with you completely 💯💯 better to wait and do things the right way

[@promisen1173]

Oh my God, the Ekimas u hv done great. This has been hurting me so much, how us christinas treat our friends that get pregnant out of wedlock. We shud be comforting and protecting our friends than condemning and gossiping about them.

[@yourstrulydenise7272]

I carried my little gal through Shame , rejection this year February she makes a year … I can only Say it’s been God … Thanks for this topic

[@TheEkimas.]

Awww congratulations on the one year milestone 👏👏 you are doing amazing ❤

[@promisen1173]

Thank u for being this vulnerable to the world

[@allennatamba2655]

This is all i wanted after many unanswered prayer.Blessings the Ekimas

[@TheEkimas.]

We are glad to hear that. May you receive clarity regarding your prayer

[@daphinturihohabwe8151]

I love Emma’s point the willingness to be with the person with or without a child thank you for sharing your story

[@TheEkimas.]

True. Experiences like that test whether you are really ready for the commitment that marriage is.. It is not always going to be rosy but how confident are you in your commitment to the person you are with

[@margretmugaba7992]

What an enlightening episode. It's a must watch for all church leaders.

[@TheEkimas.]

Thank you for tuning in

[@nabukenyadianamasengere391]

We thank God for the grace he has given you to share your story

[@balukahannahstacey5511]

The beauty about ‘your shame’ is that God has used it to advance godly marriages in His Kingdom🥺. You guys are truly an inspiration as I await my god willed husband☺️

[@TheEkimas.]

He is a God that gives beauty for ashes Isaiah 61: 3.

[@natukundaphionah8786]

As Christians we also need to know that our father is a forgiving one. So if there is one thing i have learnt is not to run away from Him but go back and ask for forgiveness. The actual struggle is that we judge sinners yet we are also sinners. How i wish we would extend grace because for sure no one wakes up and decides to commit sin

[@nakatogertrude9032]

This just came at the right time & God knew I needed to hear this, thank you for speaking to my soul

[@TheEkimas.]

We bless God for that ❤. Thank you for tuning in

[@nabbosabeldine8885]

Thanks for sharing this critical story.. Blessings🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@michezo256]

thanks you for this message and this testimony .

[@natukundaphionah8786]

Also maybe what i always emphasise is to make sure by the time you are dating someone, you are sure you love them and are willing to get married should you be caught up in such a scenario

[@chinomsooji7454]

Loving you both more thanks for being real

[@anonnona6433]

18:49 I think some churches prefer one gives birth first because like you mentioned earlier, the pressure to get married because of a pregnancy can be very high. But after you have given birth, the baby is about 1 year old, do you still want to get married to this person? Many people got married because of pregnancy. For some ofcourse it works, for others it doesn't.

[@TheEkimas.]

Shouldn’t the same thing be applied to other things that make couples rush into marriage. Pregnancy is not the only thing that makes people rush into marriage. Family/societal pressure, age among other things can force someone to marry for just. We don’t see the church stopping couples from getting married because of these reasons. We would think counselling would iron out all these things… pregnant or not, during counselling (which is compulsory in most churches), the church should be able to ascertain a couple’s readiness for marriage and either stop them (with the same energy they stop pregnant people) from getting married or give them a go ahead. That is if the intention is really to discourage people from entering into marriages for the wrong reasons. Because many people in the church are actually entering into marriages for very many wrong reasons but no one cares. If this measure is not applied uniformly across the board then we can’t help but perceive it as a punishment for pregnancy.

[@anonnona6433]

@@TheEkimas. Thank you for your submission. I think all the reasons you have listed above are very hard to prove 🤭. But atleast, I have seen the church stop marriage of a minor, I have seen the church stop a marriage of someone who wants to get married without dissolving their existing marriage. These are easy to prove. I have seen some churches insist that couples bring their HIV results so that they help them make informed decisions. Pre marital counselling is just a conversation starter. It comes at a time when most people are caught up with the wedding preparations, have already made up their mind, there is no turning back. Many couples go for premarital counselling as a formality. To tick a box. Infact I believe couples should also have post marital counselling. Many girls will rush to start wedding preparations when pregnant because they don't want to get a child "out of wedlock" That's part of the stigma.

[@TheEkimas.]

They are not hard to prove.. if you have been through counselling u will know that it is very easy to tell apart a couple that is marrying to tick a box from one who have actually considered and thought through their decision. Asking couples for HIV results??. How toxic and discriminative. Not to mention unbiblical. All these fall in the category of what we are saying is wrong about the church; and probably the reason why some churches do it and others don’t… It is soo relative and subjective.

[@michezo256]

thanks so much we should not correct a sin with another sin. thanks EKIMAS

[@AndrewCohenz-p3t]

I love this family how I wish that i will be like you ❤❤

[@nabukenyadianamasengere391]

Wow thank you so much may God bless you guys

[@norahlabol]

"Trust the God that sees ahead"

[@TheEkimas.]

💯💯💯 he does not fail

[@thebravebird]

El Roi

[@yolisamrso9827]

True! sex before marriage really kills the testimony

[@rwamaherachel8992]

Thank you for this video…..

[@TheEkimas.]

Our pleasure ❤

[@chongomwila7746]

Thanks for sharing.

[@amumpairebrenda5800]

Waoooo like waooo. Well done guys

[@TheEkimas.]

Thank you for tuning in 🎉😊

[@CharismaJenn]

That's why I go by "no long dating" like Sam Wonder and Delphina. Like in the Bible marriages too.

[@evelynhaufiku2596]

😢😢 This is exactly what happen to me. Oh it was not easy for me as well.

[@michezo256]

church condemns but also apart from being in church family will always condemn you too when you get pregnant when you are still at home.

[@stephaniesampson9850]

How did you confront your parents as a bishops daughter? And how did they reacted?

[@elizabethcherukut-so2mt]

Blessings

[@michezo256]

people dont hate pregnancy than sex in church is just that pregnancy is an strong evidence that you had sex. without pregnancy no one will know that you had sex that is why church is always shocked at pregnancy

[@abigailbakanansa5081]

❤️❤️❤️

[@vanitagrace4222]

Thank you for the show Theekimas Well I would like to compliment about the baby not being a mistake but fornication being the mistake. Thank you Dafine for opening up to us, though I have never believed it's the Dafine I knew at bweras 😀😁 Back to the point, referring to the Bible, Jesus himself was a result of fornication, how? When we follow very well David slept with Bathsheba the wife of Urria (I won't explain how bad this is in the eyes of God, but sleeping with someone's wife it's equal to killing her husband) From one of the children of Bathsheba, it's where Jesus Christ finally originated (that's why he is referred to as the son of David) Every child is blessed in whichever way one is acquired. "Please get my mind, my point is not to support polygamy or fornication" Thank you

[@anonnona6433]

How was she at Bweras since you say you cannot believe she is the same Daphine 😂😝

[@vanitagrace4222]

@@anonnona6433 thank you for asking But I meant like, seeing someone young in s1 together but now growing up to a very important speaker. Am really grateful and thankful to God for where we came from.

[@atuhaireedinah2191]

And there's no perfect man in the Bible. Those great men of God sinned but they would come back to God and ask for forgiveness. Sex before marriage is a sin but a child is a blessing,this child may become someone great in future. When you realize that have sinned in the eyes of God,come back to him and ask for forgiveness and pray to so that the iniquities shouldn't follow follow the child. God always has good plans

[@mpumwiregift3747]

❤❤

[@Tuongeemediahub]

Abstaining is so hard 😢,but bdw for three years my boyfriend has never asked for sex and usually us girls think maybe he doesn't love me etc or i am not attractive enough just know it's alot