PREHISTORY song by Mr. Nicky

TEACHERS: Mr. Nicky is booking his 2024-25 virtual assemblies and online history songwriting lessons! These programs (via Zoom/Google Meet/etc.) meet state learning standards in both social studies and ELA, and they’re tons of fun. Please send an e-mail to [e-mail] for full information. (Students will not receive a response, but thank you for your support!)
- LYRICS BELOW -
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PREHISTORY song by Mr. Nicky
To the tunes of “Dynamite” by BTS &
“Astronaut in the Ocean” by Masked Wolf
Backing tracks property of Karaoke Version/Tency Music
Lucy:
Because my stride was bipedal and upright
we can relate as hominids, both you and I
Handy Man:
Clues show over a million years ago, we were making tools of stone
And so the Paleolithic "Old Stone” age arose
Upright Man:
We strolled out of our old home
It got cold but with fire control
us nomads can roam with portable heat
and tigers leave us alone, hey!
Neanderthal:
Skill and teamwork mattered
Couldn't farm so we'd just hunt and gather food
Leaving foot and handprints that archaeologists examine
Cro-Magnon
Painting caves, and though we couldn't write
that's prehistoric fine art, with science you'll know
Lucy:
Straight from my bones!
All:
That my stride was bipedal and upright
We can relate as hominids, both you and I
Climates, rivers, landscapes all have geographical effects
on life and Ötzi dying in ice (whoa!)
From his gear, you'll see how far that tool making came along
Some settled down and farmed, and the New Stone Age was on!
It's a food revolution, going agricultural in fertile places
by domesticating wild plants and the right animals
Years of careful breeding get your herds and crops the way you need them
Irrigate your lands and grow that surplus food for stashing
so populations rise and artisans can specialize to build your civilization
Neanderthal:
Nah, let's just hunt!
All:
'Cause my stride's bipedal and upright
We can relate as hominids, both you and I
Climates, rivers, landscapes all have geographical effects
on life and Ötzi dying in ice (whoa!)
Signs show the guy had climbed and dined
violently died and was mummified in ice
Trying to survive requires refined items
Acquire them from towns with shiny knives
Trade with them for new goods and take their bright ideas home
Gilgamesh: and you just might end up being civilized!
Once you know a scribe wrote it down with a reed into clay
That source is beyond prehistory
Is your storytelling oral tradition still spoken?
Yeah, mine is in writing as your skull is decomposing, ay
Once you know a scribe wrote it down with a reed into clay
That source is beyond prehistory
Is your storytelling oral tradition still spoken?
Yeah, mine is in writing and you're just stiff and frozen
She says that you're cool
I'm like, "Yeah, that's true"
You thought your axe was h.o.t.
Copper weapons are n.o.t.
They've been improved upon
Step into the Age of Bronze
We're finding ways to strengthen metal
Adding tin to the copper you smelt will make your casts built to last
Not like tools from your Stone Age past
These are durable for farming tasks, though it's a low ranking social class
It isn't much higher than the slaves, let rich nobles administrate
with a high class of priests who pray to the gods running our city-state
Praise them, I'm the "Big Man", I lead our government
Overseeing the people dig planned canals with clear direction
Bringing order, central rule and protection
Raising armies you won't mess with or you'll rest in Fertile Crescent soil
Launching civilization in Mesopotamia because the location
between the Euphrates and Tigris makes it the greatest place
you can find to harvest grain in Southwest Asia
So with the surplus crops that we raise
You don't have to farm, get a job, do your lyre playing
Load up a cart, roll it to far markets now that wheels go on axle rods
With these new devices, who's surprised at Sumer's rise?
If your water and food supply is quite reliable like mine
Your small settlement might try building a city we'd fight
I'd quickly smite you like this lion
Once you know a scribe wrote it down with a reed into clay
That source is beyond prehistory
Is your storytelling oral tradition still spoken?
Yeah, mine is in writing while your grandkids are dozing, ay
Once you know a scribe wrote it down with a reed into clay
That source is beyond prehistory
Is your storytelling oral tradition still spoken?
Yeah, mine is in writing and you're just stiff and frozen
Lucy: Well, that was rude!
Upright Man: Who gave him the link?
Handy Man: Probably Otzi, notice he’s late again.
Cro-Magnon: It’s not Otzi, it’s “Oet-zi.”
Handy, Upright, Neand.: No!
Lucy: It’s “Oot-zi” like “Footsie.”
Handy, Upright, Neand.: Haha!
Handy Man: It’s “Oat-zi '' like “Floatsy!”
Neanderthal: It’s “Eet-zi” like “feetsy!” Haha!
Otzi: Whoaa!