NEURODIVERGENT CONFESSIONS

REACTING TO YOUR NEURODIVERGENT CONFESSIONS
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#autism #actuallyautistic #adhd

[@coyoteroams]

when you apologized to the inanimate objects in your room it gave me a flashback to all of the times i've apologized to my things 💀

[@coyoteroams]

and the body symmetry thing!!! i always say "do it to the other side" if my friends would touch me and i always touch my hands and fingertips together to balance out the temperatures lmaoo

[@oliviamay1596]

I’m exactly the same... it’s a pain in the neck

[@cararosesummers2463]

Yes this would happen to me or when I was younger I would get sick because I would grab my Teddy's and my pillows under me and sleep on top of them cause I didn't want them to get cold or sick

[@fairlyaround]

Same here, although more often it's a scenario like this: I always apologize to the lockers and doors at school when I bump into them---- But I also apologize to other inanimate objects in my current surroundings as well

[@lugaruna]

I had a whole moving day for my plushies when i would have to change my bedsheets:). Literly all my plushies would move to a safe place in my room where they could watch their homeland be taken apart and put back together and i would talk to them while doing it all:).

[@roanokebeilschmidt]

See here's the thing... I'm a physics student. I *understand* how time works from an intellectual standpoint. I also have ADHD. Knowing how time works in physics has NOT helped my executive dysfunction and time still doesn't exist 😭

[@alexfrancis7563]

Have you seen that new study about how measuring time more accurately increases entropy in the universe and speeds up decay? That's a wild study right up your street

[@FutureAuth0r]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Yo! The struggles. The realest thing I heard all day

[@chairninja]

Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so 🤗

[@georgerobins4110]

@@alexfrancis7563 wat

[@---nobody---]

@@alexfrancis7563 Is that one of those "x doesn't exist until it's observed" theories, so therefore measuring time makes time moves "faster" because it wasn't progressing and "decaying" (as you say) until it began being observed? Hahah. I tried. 😂

[@astrudwatkins1104]

Wow I also struggle with object personification!! I never realized that was an autistic thing but I always feel SO sad for discarded teddies

[@sleepytimejunction8780]

Does anyone else feel "stalked by posters"? I know this sounds weird but as long as I'm in the same room with a poster I feel too embarrassed to change my clothes just like how I would if someone else is around and can't sleep! Which is bad if you're staying at the place of a K-Pop fan haha ^^'

[@toxicsugarart2103]

SAME

[@astrudwatkins1104]

@@sleepytimejunction8780 I never thought about that before! But yeah I totally could see that being really uncomfortable.

[@oliviamay1596]

I just can’t discard teddies, it’s not possible

[@woutijland4983]

Oh yes I understand it sad I have once literally c ied because of it

[@elizabethgrey6040]

3:46 YES!!! I’m autistic but I also have anxiety and am a people pleaser, so rather than come off “blunt” instead I’m extremely formal and polite, constantly walking on egg shells. Eye contact is something I’ve been making myself do forever so I’m used to it, but I still find myself enjoying walks more than sitting in a coffee shop or something like that, specifically because you don’t have to make eye contact. When I first meet a person, I become as “default nice” and bland as possible because I don’t know what they expect from me. I’m rarely ever just myself around people. Just because my autism looks different from someone else’s doesn’t mean I’m not autistic! We may have different behaviours, but the behaviours exist for the same reason- because of the same neurotype. These different behaviours are just the ways in which our personalities and/or other disorders affect the way we experience our neurotype. I’m glad you mentioned this.

[@QlueDuPlessis]

That's kinda how I am.

[@milliem9141]

Yes I once got told at work I was too nice but that's all there was to me. I was masking

[@stellarivers92]

I will listen to the same song for weeks on repeat. And I will yell at anyone that will talk bad about my gator plushies ever.

[@sophiekerr8964]

Yep. This. When I find a new song, I start playing it over and over again until I'm sick of it.

[@bliissfully5318]

@@sophiekerr8964 then i never listen to it again...

[@dani01949]

I cycled on David Bowie from 2013 to 2019

[@insecureegg]

I once got weirdly attached to a subway line map and lost it on the train and had a full breakdown when I got home because I felt so bad for leaving it behind.

[@dogninja7360]

That's rough buddy

[@ryliejones5840]

it’s hard for me to watch tv shows and movies cause i get so emotionally attached to the characters that i get really sad they’re not real and if something bad happens it hurts that i can’t hug them and if something really good happens i get so happy it hurts. also i apologize to doorways and stuff i run into and once my friend told off a parking meter for hitting me when i ran into it.

[@corvigae]

Oh what a mood, I had to stop following a hyperfixation of mine bc I knew it'd have an unhappy ending and I'd gotten so overly-attached to the characters that it was causing serious anxiety attacks and making me depressed, to the point of negatively affecting my physical health

[@RosesTeaAndASD]

Never watch a crime show called "Cold Case". I know it's not real but I cry every episode.

[@wemadeyouasweaterlee]

I totally feel that with tv shows and movies. it's so hard to not be able to help them or hug them or cheer with them and to even remember it's false. It's hard being empathetic and feeling the feelings but not being able to do anything

[@LaceyMyriah]

I always feel SO bad for the villain… this has actually caused problems in my real life.

[@jonathanwilson1380]

Literally will feel bad throwing out anything with a cute face on it, the amount of holiday cards I’ve got laying around in my room is crazy

[@fenixmeaney6170]

Neurotypicals: "autism means lack of empathy" *Laughs in object personification*

[@Flowersinurhair]

My sister was told my nephew isn’t autistic because he’s so empathetic. My mans cries if he’s worn a pair of shoes to the point they’re falling apart and someone suggests getting rid of them lol

[@LaceyMyriah]

@@Flowersinurhair he and I both

[@zacharywoods331]

I love how she spent a good 2 minutes just talking about her outfit it's adorable

[@zacharywoods331]

And I don't know if this counts but I have ASPD(psychopathy) and believe it or not that comes with a lot of negative stereotypes so if you wouldn't mind could you have a video on awareness

[@rowan-priince1860]

Confession: I *_have_* to talk to myself out loud to process anything, anywhere from whispering to full on yelling, but it has to be out loud. Writing helps marginally, and talking to others is very hit or miss because I'm bad at it, but if I don't talk to myself I will not work through anything.

[@macminator3000]

playing songs on repeat is something i thought was normal, like i just like the vibe of the song why can't i repeat it for two days?

[@sammiisdead8965]

this is the most me thing I've ever read whenever I'm obsessed with songs I just replay them for a week straight or just him and sing it and dissect the lyrics until I can listen to it again 😭

[@draalttom844]

I repeat them until it doesn't fit anymore and then I gotta stop listening to it for 3 to 5 years the time to forget it enough not be bored

[@corvigae]

GOD THE BODY SYMMETRY ONE IS SO REAL, I constantly look weird in public bc I did something like step on a crack in the sidewalk with one foot and feel it through my shoe, and now I'll feel wildly off balance until i go back and step on that same crack with the other foot

[@avocadotoast4967]

I hate feeling like an imposter so much! Ughhh it sucks. People like you help me to understand myself better after getting my diagnosis and that no two people on the spectrum are the same. Just because I’m nothing like my brothers doesn’t mean I’m not autistic.

[@sleepytimejunction8780]

Oh, this!!!

[@leoniek9359]

Congratulations on being the second comment!! 🎊🎉

[@valice_vecs7616]

Object personification is a neuro-divergent thing? I thought it was just me! Sometimes when I get mad I’ll hit the thing nearest to me and then I’ll feel bad, apologise to it, hug it and cry because I’m worried I hurt it

[@d3adm3mori3s9]

Meeee I'm either throwing objects around or carefully handling them like they're made of paper XD

[@sadprose651]

fun fact: in my culture (i’m bangladeshi) looking directly at an older person’s eyes is considered rude. “look down”, “keep your head down” are the norms lol. though because of western media eye contacts are now more “standard” or “cool” :/ but yes eye contacts are made up courtesy.

[@lilbumblebee6398]

Not me remembering the time I cried bc my mom tried to get me to eat a banana by making it talk and say "eat me" and I was like "noooo I don't want to hurt the poor banana!!!" 😂😂😂

[@rainashford3048]

Random confession because no one will ever see this lmao: I hyperfixate on super morbid stuff, usually true crime related, and end up freaking people out. Also, fun fact, today (April 9th) is the anniversary of the Chessboard Killer's birth. (see this is what I mean. this is why people think I'm crazy lmao).

[@amandamandamands]

If you are into serial killers then I know a podcast you might like

[@beewalsh8738]

I own The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers. Great reading material, in my opinion.

[@sophiekerr8964]

I share a birthday with the Yorkshire Ripper (learned that through a podcast too lol, so totally not freaky at all! *sarcasm*)

[@kellydorman565]

@@amandamandamands Oh? Which podcast? I listen to a few but I'm always open to more : )

[@amalia2390]

I got obsessed with Stephanie soo and her two youtube channels and two podcasts, it’s full of comedy, food, true crime and scary stories. Also Junji Ito, I cant stop talking about it and it freaks people out

[@GaasubaMeskhenet]

I enjoy watching how people's mouths move as they talk and so many people think I'm being flirty. I also laugh easily (often at the end of normal sentences for some reason????) and apparently that's a flirty behavior too

[@ellieragsdale4398]

Yep, I like to watch people's mouths too. Makes it easier to listen to and interpret what they're saying. And I laugh really easily too.

[@LauraDora124]

Yes! When I don’t relate to even just one trait, I feel like a fraud 🤭 That’s why it took me ages to seek a diagnosis, because I’d start of being like “this all makes so much sense, I’ve never related to something so much. Everything fits into place” Then I’ll watch/read something where I don’t 100% fit into and I’m like “wait....am I lying to myself? Is this really me?”

[@wemadeyouasweaterlee]

I hate that feeling! I have legit had people tell me that they thought I was misdiagnosed or that I didn't have Autism anymore, like you aren't living inside my head. You don't know that. Plus you don't have to check the boxes, especially of stereotypes

[@CherryCresent]

For the longest time I was afraid I "faked" my diagnosis, since before the evaluation I saw a lot of autistic media, and I was scared I wasn't autistic, but rather just mimicking autistic people. Turns out that's masking and an autistic trait 💀💀

[@venustrapsflies]

I still quite often feel like I'm doing that. I'm not diagnosed by the way. I'm too scared to ask/tell anyone. Is there anything i can do?

[@tabitas.2719]

@@venustrapsflies I found it helpful to educate/inform myself "forever"; also, seek a self-help group/talk to close friends and after having gotten more affirmation they can help you figure out specific steps (where, and if, to get diagnosed...) for your specific situation, location.... :)

[@venustrapsflies]

@@tabitas.2719 If my legal guardians did allow me to, I'm not sure how we could afford it.

[@tabitas.2719]

@@venustrapsflies That very much depends on where you are from; I don't know the situation outside of Europe, but most (all?) European countries have free-of-charge options. Also, self help groups are like meetups or clubs and usually do not require money (at least I've never heard of one), but can be very helpful. All the best!!

[@venustrapsflies]

@@tabitas.2719 Thanks for your help! I'll try to see what i can do.

[@realemmcee]

just AuDHD tingz: me wandering around a car park aimlessly for 2 hours trying to find my car only to realise much later that I actually parked it in a completely different location (only after contacting the car park security and having them drive me around in a golf cart all around the car park)

[@elizabethgrey6040]

Wait I don’t know what country you’re from but it’s so cool that you call parking lots car parks. I had no idea what you were talking about at first 😂 I’m from Canada

[@d3adm3mori3s9]

My Mums autistic and it amazes me how she can just remember where her car is (she said she used to struggle to find her car but found a metthod) like girl can I have that because you seem like you've found the answers to life but also it scares me I dont wanna know too much XD

[@daisyisnotreal]

@@elizabethgrey6040 im from the uk and we call them car parks, so maybe they're from the uk

[@realemmcee]

@@elizabethgrey6040 I’m from Australia

[@Yours_sincerely_thedreamer]

I love everyone from the community so much! I wish we had no COVID and would all live in the same place and had like a house where we could meet each other in the free time. That would be so cool.

[@markl4730]

so they werent 18 years late to diagnose me, they diagnosed me last thursday, I can be less upset at the doctors

[@sophiekerr8964]

Welcome to the community!

[@jinxedwrath3586]

That’s great... because of you didn’t learn now, you would still be asking yourself, ‘what’s wrong with me?’

[@markl4730]

@@jinxedwrath3586 Yeah, I always thought it was because Im adopted... Its definently not that

[@blastlightstar]

hehe last thursday

[@larsha01]

Yes! My blanket bubble got featured! Hahaha I love it ♥️ time for a blanket bubble club

[@Dave-oo7sz]

What is a blanket bubble? I can't figure it out on Google and came to the comments to ask lol

[@Reality.juiced]

Same

[@aliciametral5541]

I related to soooo many of these!!!!!!! Every time someone tells me that neurotypicals dont worry or overthink about everything i do, my mind gets blown. i would so love a part 2!!!!!!

[@lexacharms]

I am a 24 year old woman and everyone in my life, including my psychiatrist, and my aunt who is a doctor, believes, with 100% certainty that I have autism. But since I am over 18 years of age, getting an “official” diagnosis would be such a complicated and expensive process. My psychiatrist told me that getting an “official” diagnosis would not end up being worth it since I am already on a bunch of different meds that would be used to help with it anyways and I can’t afford it. It’s just soo frustrating and I feel like such an imposter. I relate to soo many autism tiktoks and videos and such, but I feel like that because I am undiagnosed that I don’t deserve to be apart of the community.

[@lexacharms]

@@peace6216 honestly, for me, not knowing is the worst. If getting a diagnosis would make you feel better, you should go for it while you are still under your parents health care insurance.

[@222fairydust]

i'm going to turn 20 this year and i found out i'm autistic by myself a year ago at 19 years old, i'm younger than you and i know it's not the same, but you and me, and everyone who's late diagnosed or self diagnosed are valid 💕 (oh, also this year my mom will take me go get diagnosed and i'm struggling a lot with imposter syndrome and doubting myself, and also scared/nervous because i never was with a psychologist/psychiatrist 😭😭😭 i hope everything turns out fine)

[@lexacharms]

@@222fairydust it will be fine! I know how nerve wracking that can be. You will get through it, I promise 💖

[@Lillyluvsanime]

According to Rebecca Sugar, "time is an illusion that helps things make sense, so we're always living in the present tense."

[@an_anishinaabe_son]

Mathilda, without the invention of time, all we would experience is the present.

[@Lillyluvsanime]

@@an_anishinaabe_son we are always only experiencing the present. You don't experience the past, once it's gone it's only a memory. You'll never see the future, because once you're "there," it is the now.

[@an_anishinaabe_son]

@@Lillyluvsanime that's my point, sister. We never experience the past nor the future.

[@amalia2390]

I catch and release every creature I find in my house. Since I was younger I have been able to identify any insect and bug and break down its classification. I feel guilty when I crush a bug and often stress about it and imagine that other bugs are watching. Also I name every inanimate object and bug a name and apologize when I bump into them😅

[@Caterpillarnook]

Yesss plus can identify many plants in my neighborhood and when I go for walks with someone I always say “did you know that that flower is highly toxic” or talk about them and I classify plants in a notebook by genus and draw a few species and then write medicinal uses I’m not diagnosed but I’m going to be tested and I’m so excited to show my long and extensive list of traits that have are divided into categories welp don’t mind me I’ll just be faking it for attention here

[@Lillyluvsanime]

I think Toy Story has also contributed to my item personification. I'm a spiritual person in general and I believe there is a living, spiritual aspect to everything (even if not conscious or sentient, it's some form of spirit/soul). And so, add on top of that Pixar teaching me growing up that when I leave the room all my toys wake up and have their own society in my bedroom... there is a fairly substantial part of me that views my stuffies and dolls and furniture, etc. as living things. Example: For some movies I watch in the living room, I like to take a doll with me (which doll depends on what type of movie) and I don't want the others to be jealous so I let them know that they'll get their turn for the next one. Also, the pillow I use to prop up my foot is a very old body pillow that is now half its original size with the limp part tied off to keep it fluffy. Her name is Kooshie, and I refuse to get rid of her because she's been my friend since elementary school.

[@daisyisnotreal]

here's a confession: I've told my mum about the things I might have before and she invalidated it so I didnt tell her about my concerns over autism and adhd, yes both, but I know she is gonna be dismissive. I struggle a lot in school but I'm in my top sets and I chronically procrastinate and energy drinks don't work and I hyperfixate and then get embarrassed about it and sensory issues like spd and auditory things like apd and I have to ask specific questions to understand something and I hear the electric humming sometimes and EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION and my friend and I talk about what we do that fit in to mental illnesses and neurological disorders we have thought for over 3 years that we might have and I relate to so many things people say about adhd and autism and I just- ugh

[@222fairydust]

i hope you can start the journey of discovering and validating youself, i know it's difficult having an adult, especially your family, invalidating you or don't listening, and we need someone to tell what we discovered and hear their validation, but for now you have to search and know yourself better and help yourself what you need and only /you/ can tell if you relate or not to something and if you feel like this, it's real ♥️

[@daisyisnotreal]

@@222fairydust thank you so much! words of affirmation are a big thing for me so this made me really happy, I hope you have a great day/night :)

[@havenagave]

i feel you so much. i’m going through the exact same thing. it’s a constant cycle of “wow i relate to most of this stuff, enough to not be ignored” then it goes “but… [trusted adult] said i didn’t have anything, so maybe i am just faking it for attention” then “no, i deserve to be heard and i should seek a diagnosis” rinse and repeat. Just know you’re not alone. I hope you are successful in your journey

[@eclipse10664]

I hate how relatable this comment is

[@DesperationLasts]

Here's the thing about eye contact. The autistic in me doesn't want to do it. The ADHD in me needs it or I struggle to focus on what that person is saying, especially if it isn't particularly interesting to me. But then, instead of listening to them, I spend a lot of time focusing on the amount and intensity of my eye contact. Also, the autistic in me likes to make schedules that the ADHD in me can't follow. That's an extreme source of frustration.

[@ackeraloreilly1403]

Im just imagining you trying to watch the whole musical of beetle juice, then having to skip foward to the one song. This happens to me, I just wanna watch and enjoy the whole thing but I get distracted and end up skipping foward😂😂😂😅

[@angelikabinczycka]

OK but where do you get the whole thing? 👀Please, share with the class, I love the soundtrack and I'd love to watch it

[@Lillyluvsanime]

I'm 24, diagnosed ADHD in 3rd grade, currently self-diagnosed autistic (and really want to pursue clinical diagnosis) and I struggle with imposter syndrome, especially when my mom says she doesn't think I'm on the spectrum and that these, "quirks," are, "just me."

[@elizabethgrey6040]

Omg my mom said that too. “You’re just you!” I know she never meant it to be harmful but it really made my imposter syndrome worse. Remember: you are just you! And that you may very likely be autistic! So saying “you’re just you” means you are your autistic self and that’s perfectly you. ❤️

[@Lillyluvsanime]

@@elizabethgrey6040 thank you. My mom and I actually had a really good talk and, at least in our state, I'm only allowed to stay on my family's health insurance until I'm 26, so my mom and I agreed that soon we'll research to find a therapist/behavioral support (just hoping it's not ABA...) to help me figure out coping skills so that I can eventually move out and do the whole, adult person.... thing and be able to function on a survivable level. When I told her the kind of research I've done (scholarly articles/essays and research studies and reading the DSM-V diagnostic criteria, in addition to learning from online influencers who have clinical diagnoses) she's started to recognize that this is something that I'm taking seriously and not just, "so-and-so that I like on tik tok is autistic and I relate and Dr. Google says I'm probably on the spectrum." Now that she knows it's not that I decided that I wanted autism to be the, "answer," and then did a few searches to validate that, and instead only came to the conclusion of self diagnosis AFTER researching (which, I'm always learning every day, there are always new things about myself that I'm learning, "oh... this might be linked to me being autistic.") she's taking me and my pursuit of diagnosis more seriously.

[@elizabethgrey6040]

@@Lillyluvsanime That’s wonderful to hear! My mom has also accepted my diagnosis now that my psychologist has determined I’m on the spectrum. One thing that my psychologist suggested was for me to get an executive coach to help me organize my life and not get too overwhelmed. I’m also trying to get a private single bedroom dorm room for university because I couldn’t stand to have to mask around someone else 24/7, so I suggest maybe trying to find living accommodations wherever you are in life that meet that need (if you feel the same as I do.) If you don’t already have a pet to help you with calming down and overstimulation, I really suggest it! My uni doesn’t allow pets other than fish though, so I won’t be able to do that while I’m in residence :(. Other than that, my advice is to indulge on anything that helps you feel comfortable, helps you stim, helps you feel less overwhelmed etc. For example, comfy clothes, nice smelling candles, noise cancelling headphones, anything that keeps your hair out of your face (if you have tactile sensitivities like me hair suckkks), stuffed toys to cuddle with, music that makes you want to stim excitedly etc. I know you may already know a lot of these and are probably already trying to implement them into your life, but just in cause I thought I may help 😅 Most of all, just focus on doing what you need and living your best autistic life. Sending strength and love 💞

[@Lillyluvsanime]

@@elizabethgrey6040 I really appreciate your kindness and support! I do have a puppy, she just turned 2yrs old yesterday (I also had a cat who had been a HUGE emotional support source for the majority of his 18yrs of life... he passed away last year and... I don't think I would have gotten through it if I didn't already have my puppy). I don't really think I would do well in dorm life, I'm currently a live-at-home student and my girlfriend and best friend (all of us are neurodivergent, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend has ADHD and my best friend got diagnosed autistic somewhat recently) have talked about eventually all of us renting an apartment/small house together. I like to take baths as a way to deal with sensory overload, I have LOTS of stuffies (many of whom currently live in the attic, because I have nowhere near enough space for them all in my room), a couple of fidget spinners, I have high fidelity earplugs for when I'm in situations where noise gets overwhelming and I have an Amazon music account for when I need long-term music, I also have a Walkman because I have a lot of audio cassettes that were going unused and I like the repetition of flipping the tape😊 I do my best to deal with sensory stress and recovering from social junk (and yes, part of the reason I've always preferred short hair is that I HATE, like.... have a visceral LOATHING for having hair in my face. I got my first pixie cut the summer before 4th grade and since then my hair has either been short or pulled back or both. I also keep my hair short because my hair is, as I was told by a professional braider, "fat," so it's a lot to maintain at full volume and I'm very tender-headed, I will cry because of hair tangles. Currently have an undercut that I keep up and I love how it looks, it feels the most, "me," of any haircut I've ever had and it's fairly simple to maintain) it's executive dysfunction related stuff that I would need the most support with. Like, figuring out how to implement reasonable priorities in order to survive (like... not only being *aware* that rent and utilities are more important than growing my doll collection, but putting that into practice) and maybe additional support with school and reasonable accommodation with work.

[@elizabethgrey6040]

@@Lillyluvsanime Wow it seems like you’re already very good at getting what you need and supporting yourself ❤️ I’m happy to hear it! I can definitely relate to a lot of what you’ve said. Me, I love my hair long because touching it is a nice sensory feeling and I find that because it’s weighed down it doesn’t get in my face as much as when it was shoulder length, but each of us has our own needs and experiences. I also have an extremely sensitive scalp so what I find helpful is holding the hair like Rapunzel from tangled 😂 You know? Like if you hold your hair tightly above where the brush is then it takes most of the pressure off of your scalp. I’m not sure how long your hair needs to be to do it but it’s worked wonders for me! And yeah, paying bills and taxes and doing all that paperwork stuff is not going to go well for me at ALL. I’ll either forget it exists, procrastinate it until I forget or procrastinate, then forget, then remember and then have a meltdown. Executive stuff is the worst but hopefully the coach will be able to help me don’t feel so overwhelmed. I hope the same thing works out for you too! I currently have only a few stuffies but I keep them all on my bed. It’s a love-hate sort of thing because I LOVE the comfort of hugging something, but I hate that feeling of lying down and then feeling a bunch of stuffies underneath you and having to reorganize all of them and then they all fall off the bed anyway 😅 It’s kinda stressful. But what I do collect is tiny figurines and statues and gemstones and antiques. Any little object you can put on the top of your dresser, I will be drooling over it lol. It makes my mom very annoyed since I can’t possibly dust any surface in my room. But they give me so much comfort so who cares :)? It’s super cool that you’re thinking of living together as neurodivergents! I wish I could do that but at the moment I’ve lived my whole life masking so I’m not even sure how to stop and who I can trust, and I also have schizotypal personality disorder which causes me to be paranoid and have severe social anxiety. Ohhh what fun... I hope you have success in moving in together though! That sounds awesome. I don’t think I have any neurodivergent friends (that I know of) yet so talking about this with someone is so nice. After 18 years of being undiagnosed, it’s hard to not feel like I’m alone and isolated from other people. But I’m coming out of my shell

[@Torby4096]

Hehe.. I sometimes start the car before I put the seat belt on because I feel sorry for the buzzer that never would get to buzz otherwise.

[@josephlozoponi4013]

What happens if you overdose on vitamins? But routinely getting an overload of vitamins and minerals can hurt you. Too much vitamin C or zinc could cause nausea, diarrhea, and stomach cramps. Too much selenium could lead to hair loss, gastrointestinal upset, fatigue, and mild nerve damage. Which vitamins can be toxic if taken in excess? The fat-soluble vitamins, A, D, E, and K, are stored in the body for long periods of time and generally pose a greater risk for toxicity than water-soluble vitamins when consumed in excess.

[@lyra3517]

My favourite thing about watching videos like this is being like “I’m not the only one that does this!” and realising that something I do is actually an autistic trait and it just makes so much more sense

[@mellyq92]

Buying a broken stuffed animal because no one is going to buy it is the most relatable thing I've ever heard! I will take things home or keep things not because I want them but because I need to "save" them

[@AvidBeats]

I feel very sad for all objects and ive had this all my life💖

[@Futurebound_jpg]

8:25 completely agree here! Things like “pointing at people is rude” even when I’m complimenting their kick ass outfit?? and “stop explaining yourself” well I do because everyone is always misunderstanding me. And the fucking classic “don’t talk back” but that’s how conversations work??? Ppl don’t make sense to me

[@freyaboer9137]

One of the reasons i love watching ur videos is that u talk fast and it keeps me interested. Neurotypical ppl talk SO SLOW!

[@draalttom844]

So true

[@neurodimensions7509]

I used to feel the emotions of objects. I miss it so much :( I think I lost that ability when I became consumed by masking in high school. Fitting in was basically my special interest at that time. Now that I’m diagnosed and living more authentically, maybe I can get those feelings back :) I literally used to feel like I hurt an object’s feelings if I thought or said I didn’t have a use for it

[@homeschoolmamabear]

I love that you feel so confident to be yourself. Growing up I had so many people tell me I talk to fast, I was too hyper, I needed to stop bouncing, etc...I'm 33 years old and just this year beginning to learn who my true self is and being comfortable to be me.

[@13._.1]

Neurotypicals ARE the strange ones

[@somedudedoinart]

CHLOE YOUR BACK YES!!!!!!!!!!

[@somedudedoinart]

i will take this like on this comment of wich you have made to my crave i dont know why it is just important to me

[@leoniek9359]

Congratulations on being the third comment!! 🎊🎉

[@Meg_intheclouds]

So glad I’m not the only one with some of these. Especially the objects one, but also I have it with numbers (like the sweet number 13 who in my head has always been autistic, I just didn’t know the word until recently), letters, dates, months, units of measure. And I found out recently that that is a form of synaesthesia called OlP and I thought everyone thought of things in this way and have human traits to things that aren’t human automatically. Like even directions (though I have no sense of direction)

[@willowisp9150]

I had infections from not peeing literally all the time until I was about 10, and peed my bed regularly until I was like 6. You know #quirky 💕

[@philliphamilton8611]

This was posted on my birthday!

[@jaidenoliver7165]

About putting emotions to random objects, sometimes if I see something like a pencil on the street I can feel sad that it's been forgotten and won't be used. Or if I see a cool rock it's sad not to take it because then it's not living it's potential as being seen as a cool rock. Had no idea until now that wasn't what everyone experiences though. And also explains why cleaning my room is so dang hard.

[@somewhat-blue]

oh my god, i also pulled my entire personality as a kid from movies/tv and book characters. thank you for seeing me with that one

[@Stacycoleable]

Definitely understand the whole having a lot of confidence and then switching to not having any. I grew up with people telling me how smart I am, so I have times still when I think that I'm smarter than a lot of people, but then I'll tell myself that I must be really stupid because I can't seem to hold a job and I can't even put groceries on a shelf.

[@Nixie_the_Pixie]

Okay I legitimately thought that me needing sound to go to sleep was because anxiety. Aha

[@wantingoneangel8976]

Kira Boyd+ I too have some anxiety and listening to ASMR videos and listening to calming New Age music really helps me:)!!

[@bliissfully5318]

good luck! hope ur sleeps get better! for me i cant do anything/focus if music or any loud noise is playing in the background. homework, nope. read, nope. sleep, nope. etc- i wish u the best of luck with whatever may be going on!! x

[@rubycubez1103]

At 41, just founding out I have autism has changed my life. Keep up the great work changing lives with your videos! Watching your vids, I want to cry. You're so self aware and have a great way of expressing yourself. It's a true gift!

[@Reality.juiced]

37 and going thru the same thing. Figured it out like 2 days ago. Guess deep down I always kinda knew it was something along these lines.

[@AeraYoo]

When you talked about music on repeated scratching your brain in a very good way, I felt that so deeply on so many levels.

[@Tundrea3]

Ok I hate social interaction..............................BUT I NEED IT😫 Also do a part two

[@laurenleeonethree]

Oh gosh, the part about being confident while insecure 😩 my whole life!!!

[@allison3132]

I’m glad you started the video addressing your outfit. Because I was going to be obsessed with it the whole time.

[@toxicsugarart2103]

Loving the Midsommar cosplay (That’s a joke and also a compliment btw, I love that movie lol)

[@lugaruna]

O fudge... The one about switching from confident to total sobbing insecure mess sound realy familiarXD. Also that was an internal image on the outside i will just look shy or nerves. On those other day's i feel like a confident bad ass who is a one woman army! Fun times switching from extreme to extreme:p. The imposter syndrom is also starting to sound alot like why i think my talent for creating stuff with my hands isn't anything special:p.

[@NerdiellaVT]

I was diagnosed today with ADHD at 17 almost 18. Thank you for your content. It has helped me understand so much.

[@dianaoc4768]

There's these little dolls called "quitapenas" that you're supposed to put under your pillow and kinda vent to them so you'll sleep better, and when I was 15 my dad bought me one and I never really did that, I just brought her everywhere with me... but one day I left her in my school uniform pocket and she ended up in the washing machine, so her skirt and head became loose, and I s2g I was crying and feeling real guilty about it... I was 16!! (anyways, I ended up making her a new skirt, sewing hair into her head and reattaching and fixing everything even though I didn't know how to sew, and my dad kept saying he could just buy me a new one but I refused to get another one, it had to be that one... I'm almost 24 now and I usually carry her in my bag when I go out to this day)

[@sashalilly5093]

Omg I love the last Thursday one because it just makes me feel better for being so shit at things because I’ve only existed since last Thursday 😂

[@namitaseshadri2638]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for talking about imposter syndrome with autistics. i was diagnosed at 3 but i started getting ABA right away and my parents only told me i was autistic when i was 11. my imposter syndrome is OFF THE CHARTS and this made me feel so validated

[@namitaseshadri2638]

also the movie toy story amplified my inanimate object personification so much. i used to sleep with like 15 stuffed animals in my bed cause i didn’t want any of them to feel left out

[@blueguy2431]

Funny, this is actually something I was thinking about today. I always thought looking at the ground as a kid was normal. It still feels weird to look people in the eye. As for masking. Rarely do it because I don't go out much. When I do I just act what is considered normal only so I don't annoy people. As for friends yeah none of them are not normal either. At least what is considered normal and that makes me happy. :)

[@plushieangela]

omg!!! my empathy towards plushies....I've had an anxiety attack because I felt like a plush toy in a thrift shop felt rejected

[@wemadeyouasweaterlee]

I didn't really know what masking was until I started watching your channel and Paige Layle's channel. I started thinking about so many different times in life where I've masked. I have masked to the point where people would tell me I was "Misdiagnosed". I struggle especially with jokes because I don't find a lot genuinely funny, so I have a terrible fake laugh. I feel that so hardcore. I'm so glad that you're making content like this and making neurodivergent voices heard! Also with the object personification thing, I totally feel that. I used to have nightmares about abandoned toys or stuffed animals after watching the Toy Story movies. I wanted so badly to make sure my toys didn't end up like Andy's when they were lost or hurt or sad or just wanted to be played with. I have a few stuffed animals now that I am really attached too and make me feel safe. Specifically Howard (a bigger bear) and Jimmy (a little bear) I lay with Howard to feel like I have a partner so I don't feel alone at night, and when I really wish I had a baby to care for I hold Jimmy. It's like I have a husband and baby when I need that feeling of closeness. Does anyone else do this with stuffed animals? like have relationships with them?

[@somejellyartywitchyhuman485]

I’ve seen your video on safe foods, but as a suggestion you could make a longer video explaining it. I relate to that so much

[@AngstyRat]

Idk why I feel the need to share this here but when I was like 5 I did ballet and my teacher always yelled at me for not looking her in the eyes when she was speaking to me even though I hate eye contact. We were all lined up against a wall doing those leg stretchy things and the teacher came over to tell me I was doing it wrong. I turned my head to look at her because I didnt want to be yelled at for not making eye contact again. She told me to face the wall so I did but she continued talking and so I looked back at her again. She then lost her temper, grabbed my hair which was in a bun, and yanked my head around to face the wall while yelling "I said face the wall!" I started crying and ran over to my mum who had come to pick me up becuase it was near the end of the lesson. I quit ballet after that day. Why force a person to look you in the eyes when they clearly dont want to and then tell them off for doing it?! Like at least be consistent -_-

[@josephineddarling5051]

What a mean teacher

[@AngstyRat]

@@josephineddarling5051 ikr- she hated me for some reason

[@josephineddarling5051]

@@AngstyRat sometimes teachers just hate students for no reason or for things the kid can’t help like maybe she misunderstood u which still isn’t an excuse to just yank a little kids hair

[@AngstyRat]

@@josephineddarling5051 yeah true

[@wantingoneangel8976]

Plush Toy Bonnie+ That Ballet Teacher is a huge Bitch and has no business Teaching Children because she has no patience and no love for Children!!! My Brother took Violin lessons and he was first violinist in his Elementary School, but his Teacher was a tyrant. So, as an Adult in his 40s can not.pick up a violin and play it. So, do.not let the cruel spirit of your Ballet Teacher ruin your "eye sparkle" for Ballet Dancing!!! /And being that I love to collect vintage Toys, I so love your You Tube name:)!!

[@larsha01]

Chloé! You are GLOWING GLOWING!! ❤️ 🌟

[@oOBubblegumPrincess]

Science woman here. Time is indeed a social construct. It is also the only physical that cannot be explained without using itself.

[@yoanakoleva9511]

Late ND confession: When I was little, whenever I would hear a word or phrase that sounded different (as in the person's intonation when they said it was somehow peculiar to my brain for example) or just cool, I would repeat it in my mind in the exact same way it was said and then "save it in the museum" :D:D, which was basically my mind's "cool words and stuff" database. I had different "wings" of the museum depending on how much I liked something and would specify to my brain to save it in a specific 'wing'. I still do this sometimes, but my 'cool word' preference has definitely changed.

[@MandyBuglet]

I completely agree that the NT's are the "off" ones in society hehe. They just don't get us, but if they tried harder to get us, it's not that hard. I'm not autistic, but I've got ADHD. I still love how cheerful you are in these videos! You make me smile :D.

[@MissDanaSophia]

Part 2! Part 2!

[@sparklymishy96]

I kept finding myself saying “SAME!”

[@Maydenne]

I feel so seen right now, like finally hearing someone say all the things I've spent my life covering up. Wow.

[@auroraswarriors]

The best feeling is when Chloè posts 🙊💗

[@usfilms8828]

Oh my god I laugh all the time 😭😭 it’s less of a copying thing and more of a nervous thing I feel like I’m supposed to laugh a lot rip not quite as regular as I thought I was being haha

[@alicerox3066]

I do that too. I have several plants in my room, and there's only space for one one my desk, so I have to switch my plants so none of them feel bad. The number of times I apologize to things I run into, every day.

[@darkblade9745]

Yeah I agree you look soo good in that lol

[@alicerox3066]

It's called legal fiction apparently, all the economy, money, and all the stuff that isn't tangible and exist in nature. I just found your channel and I absolutely love it!!! I think I have ADHD, cause I have experienced many of the symptoms my whole life, and all of my struggles growing up just clicked. Not diagnosed, cause at first my mom told me I don't need one, cause "I don't have a serious enough case" despite all the Parent teacher meetings she'd had to sit through cause I never really managed to complete my work, or impulsively endangered life. Your energy just made my day. :)

[@AuthorMorganLee]

OMG! The "I tried to remember every classmates birthday, phone number and address to get friends" is 1000% me! I didn't write the comment but omg did I do that. I took it a step farther though and passed out surveys for everyone in my grade to take.

[@bliissfully5318]

sameee (i tried to remember everyones first and lasts name & birthdays) but i find it hard to remember phone numbers and addresses

[@Genny-Zee]

I’m a late 2000s kid and I absolutely LOVED the Go Girl series growing up!!! Trying to think of which character you’re referring to 😂

[@itisntevenagoodone]

I had to teach myself to smile back when people smile at me because I don't understand why they smile whenever I look at them it's uncomfortable :P

[@theweirdgirlsings8353]

Yes! The fact that we are learning more about ourselves and our diagnosis and how to help ourselves from social media than from actual professionals. They should be educating us and helping us play towards our strengths and connect with people. There is definitely something missing! We (us neurodivergents) are going to form our own supports because something needs to change! Thanks for always advocating and educating!

[@kashinewell6239]

I finally understand the eye contact thing!! Looking someone in the eye is intimacy because the eyes can show the most about our internal state. And typically autistic people are more reserved about intimate contact, usually because it's hard to relax unless you feel really safe with someone. Sometimes though I'm just living in the moment and don't realize I look at people very deeply, piercingly, the same way I study a tree or anything else interesting. And they think I'm rude or flirting or something I don't mean. It's a strange feeling to realize that neurotypical people don't really look deeply at things as often as me and I seem to pick up on so many details that other people miss. Hyperaware and sensitive, but sometimes certain things capture my attention so strong there is nothing else. Time melts. Space melts. I forget my jacket or stand in an anthill for 15 minutes because I'm watching something that is, to me, so beautiful I completely forget about myself for a moment and just merge with it. Why I'm explaining all this is because I realized that awareness is intimacy with our environment and I think any autistic people have a much deeper sense for this and is why we get overwhelmed by sounds more. We become intimate with the environment in a way where we feel directly all the disharmony of the way the world is organized. We become so passionate about things because we feel them in an Intimate way that goes through our whole body and mind. That is very beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of. And we'll, as far as eye contact just remember the more directly and longer you look at someone, the more intimate of an exchange you're trying to communicate. So mostly keep eye contact for shorter periods in public and if you want to be polite and show someone you're listening you can look for longer but just take breaks and don't stare them down haha. I struggle with this still, more when I'm tired, but for the most part it works fine and in general I try to mask less and try to be genuine and connect with people as much as I am able and to retreat into my shell when needed. When I'm tired I just act polite and give a genuine smile and if someone asks how I am, I am honest and brief (unless I forget to be brief and go on a tangent oops!) And will just say Im good I am excited about some new music right now or I'm not well today my nerves are a mess. And try to give people space to either say something before I go on or to show they don't really relate abd then I just go back to being polite. But if they connect with whatever I said I'll open up more. a lot of times people smile back and I have great conversations with strangers all the time. But when I'm unwell, it's all out the window sometimes and I just can't function and make a fool of myself at the checkout or somewhere in public and it makes me feel so ashamed and want to hide away forever. I'm 30 years old now and work a professional job as a massage therapist. I excel at my work and often change the lives of clients struggling with pain and stress in a way I don't see any of my peers doing. It feels great and I usually don't have a hard time coming off as Profesional at all but today I felt very unwell in my nerves and tried to call off work but they wouldn't let me because the boss wouldn't answer all day. I tried to do it anyway and helped my clients very well but it took such a toll on me that my body was shaking terribly for an hour and I had several outbursts in the breakroom that I did not mean to have. I felt very vulnerable like I needed to be home NOW but would be in trouble to leave work without the bosses permission. It's the day before Thanksgiving so he probably was just busy with his family but I had a hard time not being viciously angry about not having a way to protect myself because of some stupid rules. It brought of the full feeling of every other hundreds of times this has happened in my life and I'm really starting to think I should try to find a diagnosis and hope it will help in some way to get some kind of protection that I can get one day off on short notice even though they would have to cancel some clients without it being an undue burden. I only need time off like that a fee days out of the year but whenever I can't there are secere consequences to me and I've lost many jobs due to this. So I get horrible anxiety that this will somehow get me in trouble even though it's out of my control and I am otherwise totally capable and even excelling to a high degree. I know this ended up just being a crazy monologue but if anyone read this happy Thanksgiving and wishing you a magical day being you whereever you are:) and yes it would be fine to make longer eyecontact because if you read all of that then ots a more intimate exchange (just don't stare 😳) 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[@theoldaccountthatiusedtous6767]

The teddy bear thing resonated with me. I once found a sweatshirt on the ground (in winter) and took it home, washed and mended it, and it fit me and I wore it a lot. If I could see a future for this discarded object, then maybe I could see a future for myself and I could fit somewhere. Also: the symmetrical thing, I got that through nurture rather than nature... in dance we always did things on both sides, and now if I do thing one way I'll quietly go do it the other way to be "even"

[@Rinzler.14]

I worry about objects getting damaged, I would hate to hurt their feelings :( especially books. Folding pages makes me tense 😬 up in anguish for the book.

[@destinybucher8079]

Random confession, those little cakes you get from the packs, I will cut into tiny pieces like slices of cake and eat them like tiny pieces like I'm in a dollhouse

[@mellyq92]

I once had a "tiny party" where I decorated a box to look like a small room that was decorated for a party. I then had everyone have a slice of a cupcake sized cake. We finished the party by watching a short film! Probably the weirdest bday party any of them had ever been to but they played along.

[@emdarki]

omg PLEASE make this a series!!!!! i love this so much

[@junezs]

Hi Chloe! You are seriously so freaking sweet and I hope to meet you one day! 💗💙

[@EbertRens]

Can confirm: I'm a man, currently in a blanket bubble, and I've never started a war!

[@kr0nekxg347]

does anybody have moments when u thought of something funny but u dont want to laugh in times when its like awkward so u hold it in but when something funny happens, u just bust out laughing?.............

[@QlueDuPlessis]

Yup. The neurotypicals are genuinely nuts. 😂🤣

[@67ktb]

I'm just here LOSING IT over the way you said "OH LORD JESUS".

[@nikkib317]

One of the biggest meltdowns I had as a child was in 2nd grade and I didnt want to throw my jack-o- lantern because I thought it was so cruel. I felt that the pumpkin deserved better. The pumpkin wasnt trash and needed to be loved and appreciated. My parents had to take so many pictures of me with my pumpkin and it took hours for them to calm me down. I still struggle with this but not as severe. Im so relieved Im not alone in this.

[@woutijland4983]

The masking thing is funny I quite literally turn into the head characters of shows and I make different maks for different people

[@somethingrandom9219]

That top is the cutest thing I've ever seen thank you for letting us know where u got it!!

[@Nick-ey6hn]

When the Spotify 2020 wrapped thing came out, it told me I got my 100th listen on a song the same day that I listened to it for the first time.

[@mollydomoney1247]

I absolutely LOVE you! I really want to get your merch because it so freaking pretty and I don't usually think things look good! You are like my favourite person on earth and meeting you irl is like my dream! When I watch your video's I feel normal and I don't feel like I want to hide and I just love it. (By the way I am Autistic if you didn't know.) I watch you all the time and repeat your videos. I love you so much!

[@beaugrieve1913]

I agree with you on so many levels