*PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN* was VERY hard to watch at some points... (Movie First Reaction)

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Thank you guys so much for checking out our reaction to the 2020 film, 'Promising Young Woman' starring Carey Mulligan and Bo Burnham! Make sure to check out our Patreon for the full watchalong to this movie and early access to future Movie Nights!
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49:15 Outro/Discussion
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[@ReelTimeYT]

Make sure to check out the full watchalong to this movie and early access to our next two movie nights, 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' and 'Enchanted' on our Patreon!: www.patreon.com/ReelTimeYT?filters[tag]=Movie%20Night

[@najhiahhall7080]

What's worse about some of the reviews on this movie is that some of the men in the comments section were saying that she wasn't pretty enough to be assaulted and they expected the female lead of the movie to be sexier like what the fuc are these people on

[@iris9946]

Please react to Indian movies " 3 idiots" ❤❤❤😢😢😢😊😊😊😊😊

[@leeloo2071]

@@najhiahhall7080What the f? Then those same men wonder why they’re single…

[@talharizvi2780]

Can you guys react to The Favorite and Frida?

[@freakychick1978]

This is why so many women say, "All men." We can't risk believing someone is actually good until they prove it to us. It's like g*n safety rules. If you find a g*n assume it's loaded and can k*!! you, until you know otherwise. Ask yourself this; If you had a daughter and she had to spend 24hrs w/o you in a garage full of women or a garage full of men, both have equal childcare qualifications, which garage would you pick?

[@briscott4047]

1.) You’d be horrified by how often things like this actually happen. The boyfriend, the Dean, all of it. 2.) the reason that the pillow scene was so long is because the director/writer Emerald Fennell’s dad used to work in law enforcement and he informed her exactly how long it would take to suffocate someone like that (2 minutes) and she made the scene that long to show how long Al had to change his mind and how none of what he did was a “mistake.” He was making purposeful choices. It’s supposed to make watchers uncomfortable. 3.) I think one of the greatest parts about this movie is the casting of all the creeps. They cast well-known, lovable comedic actors to show that the monster isn’t always some older grimy creep in a trench coat. It could be the cute guy in the coffee shop, the funny guy, the smart doctor. It could be anyone. I’m really glad you guys watched this. It’s so hard to watch, but I’d recommend it to anyone. I think more people need to see it.

[@CowCowMeows]

Thanks for spelling these out. I thought I fully understand the importance of her being suffocated, but the commentary about it showing Al's completely conscious decision is an important one! You're right, just like the other guys, he could have stopped at any time.

[@hali_55]

The choice to keep the suffocation scene that long was brilliant

[@ANicole079]

Yep the care that went into crafting this movie was brilliant. Didn’t get enough recognition

[@mercedescordovaalvarez4053]

I loved your comment

[@Candace488]

I also came here to say the casting of all the guys was very intentional. Casting well-know “good guys” was genius.

[@AvaNightingale]

The saddest part of this movie, her death was the only way those men would face ANY consequences for what they did.

[@poisonkiss201]

in most instances in real life, she'd be gone and nothing will happen to the guys. just facts

[@AJ-dw9or]

@@poisonkiss201 so true :/

[@carrela1000]

​@@poisonkiss201Well I disagree. They did have the video and with the lawyer he definitely could've found a way to get the cops to arrest them and charge them for that. Then they would give up Cassie's body cause they're cowards. Even if they do somehow get away and don't go to prison, the public would not let them get away with it in this day and age, thanks to cancel culture. Especially when all you need is to be accused and people will cancel you quickly, throw a video in and you're done for. So definitely something would've happened to them now.

[@OpalLeigh]

If not for the evidence she made accessible- they would not be held accountable for that either. They were promising, young gentlemen after all 🙄🤮

[@starheartskull15]

7:40 “don’t tell me he’s a bad guy, there’s no way” Bryce saying out loud what every woman has said to herself before finding out a seemingly great guy is actually a POS😂

[@indiajohnson4149]

This hit hard. Sooo true

[@SmileyAdventures]

Whew! Facts! We’ve all been there. More than we actually should.

[@Kbinger06]

POS doesn't mean Piece Of Sh*t anymore, more like Psycho Overly Sus 😑😆

[@fayesouthall6604]

Exactly!

[@MinnieFonder]

They actually chose him exactly for that reason. He is viewed as such a good guy that no one would think ill of him. The movie is trying to show that even the ones that are perceived as the “good guy” can in fact be bad.

[@lenusniq_9746]

One thing that gets overlooked ALL the time is that with Ryan there were red flags from the VERY beginning, we just didn't see them because of all the romantic comedies when a nice guy pursuits a girl no matter what and in the end he gets her - and THAT's romantic. Cassie told Ryan numerous times she was NOT interested - she literally spit into his coffee, gave him a wrong number etc. In real life, what Ryan did borders on stalking/harassment. EDIT: I have also just realized that when Ryan "catches" her with the other dude, he is all pissed and says something like: You should have just told me you were not interested - well she kinda did.

[@douaaiscool2710]

Unlike many people i did notice this from the beginning cuz i myself had a stalker...so i knew he was a bad guy all along it's so interesting that these little details get overlooked by people in the name of romance

[@sariarellano5606]

Also, that scene always scares me, because he saw her with some random guy taking her home, but instead of making sure she's ok and making sure she's safe, he gets mad and leaves her there, just walks away...not knowing or caring what this guy might do to her...

[@Agnes1322]

The interesting part for me was, I did notice the red flags in the beginning. But similarly to cassie the movie wore me down and when that romcom montage rolled around I just really hoped he would be the good guy because I just wanted cassie to be happy so badly. And then came that video and at first I was appalled they would play the audio and not just imply it - and then came ryan's voice and everything crumbled. Genius directing imo.

[@jiminpov]

i saw the red flags from the beginning 😭 ryan was a big fcking weirdo from the start

[@xxxmochibaby]

Not to mention when she was late for their date and not answering her phone he went to her workplace looking for her and then to her house!! So creepy

[@chelseat177]

Also, I had one of my r@pists expelled from the university I was at because I had evidence and a confession from him to the Dean but the police let him go. They said “Oh he was your friend? It must have just been a misunderstanding”. And they let him go without any consequences. I felt the rage that the protagonist felt and just wanted revenge, but there’s nothing I could do about it. The DA said it wasn’t worth pursuing and sent me home. SVU told me they believed me and were sorry and the man that took photos for evidence said I had a strong case and that he was sorry too. So many times, we don’t get justice. This movie was cathartic for me, along with others like Revenge and Last House On The Left. They’re graphic but I just like to see the abuser get what they had coming. Again, thanks for watching this movie! I know it’s tough.

[@leannajohnson4494]

I'm so sorry that happened to you and that nobody did anything. You deserve better. I get what it's like to not be believed as my own father laughed in my face after I tried telling him about my own SA, but thankfully I do have a good support system of people that care and are here for me. I truly hope you have the same or that you find those people someday soon

[@allisonreilly1952]

I’m so sorry for what happened to you… you were so brave and strong and I’m so sorry you didn’t get the justice you deserve… sending you love and support… I hope you’re doing ok

[@LifeisFoo]

My friend from college was told that her boyfriend couldn't have r@ped her because they were dating

[@Jerrica8123]

I am so heartbroken that this is something you had to live through. You are such a strong person for surviving this. Sending so much love and healing your way!

[@Anne-oc1jp]

You really deserved so much better, and i know this is stupid to say because first of all nobody deserve any kind of abuse but that not only that it wasn't the only time it happened and You didn't have justice for it is brutal to see, i cannot imagine how you must have felt. Stay strong, you are not defined by the awful things that happened to you, but the fact that you are here telling your story it's impactful and inspiring and shows how incredible human you are, it is never easy to speak up it doesnt matter how many times you've done it. So thank you so much and i'm really sorry, i hope you are doing great 💜

[@bexc348]

The most frustrating part about this movie was it’s reception from critics. A lot of male critics called out the movie as unrealistic because Carry Mulligan (Cassie) “wasn’t attractive enough to play the role”. This movie is brilliant for so many different reasons, it’s difficult to watch at times but its important and I’m so glad you guys reacted to this. Though the movie ending is shocking it is sadly realistic in terms of people banding together to cover up something horrific due to loyalty or fear of their own demise. I do have to say though, I love watching your videos but there was a moment that struck a nerve. Doing your job doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice, you can walk away from a job if it is morally questionable. It might not be easy but it’s definitely a choice. Other than that, thanks again for reacting to this, I’m so glad you did as not enough people do. I’ll definitely continue watching your reactions and look forward to what you do next.

[@rachelg7891]

I felt the same way! The reactions to the lawyer bothered me so much I had to pause the video and come back to it. If your job is morally corrupt and you keep doing it, that is a choice that you are making every day again and again. The lawyer was just as bad as everyone else until he realized what he was doing and made it right. It’s been very interesting to see how cis men view this movie vs. everyone else. I loved the reaction otherwise and I’m glad these guys are watching movies like this!

[@83gemm]

I do think it was actually only one critic, but even so… imagine watching this film and THAT is your takeaway.

[@bexc348]

@@83gemm oh really? I thought at the time it was several?

[@83gemm]

@@bexc348 When I watched this movie I heard the same thing so I googled it. Not entirely accurate, but I only found one professional critic at the time who made the claim. If I were to find out it was more, I would not feel any surprise at all.

[@83gemm]

@@bexc348 Also, even though it’s not the point, SHE IS GORGEOUS! In what universe is she not hot enough to tempt predators?! Again, I know, not the point. But if just makes me extra frustrated.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

"I'm not a bad person." No, they were just ready to commit r@pe. And apparently r@pe is just fine and cool. I remember a terrifying study where they asked college guys if they had commited r@pe. They all said no. But when the word was omitted, and a obviously non-consensual situation was described, but not called r@pe, they said yes. They had committed a crime, but they didn't think of it as a crime. I wonder how their victims feel about that.

[@tlahmed]

Do you remember that name of the study?

[@kemery22222]

Same! I’d be interested in reading that

[@Vampgurl202]

Idk if you've already heard this, but they did multiple takes of the scene of Al and Cassie alone, both where he says the word and when he doesn't, and that they felt that they couldn't use the takes where he says it because they would never admit it

[@ss-ds2dn]

@@tlahmed it was published in Violence and Gender magazine in 2015 i think It was a survey of University of North Dakota students

[@amouramarie]

Another terrifying study was one where they asked (again, college men) if they could guarantee, absolutely 100%, that they would not be caught, would they commit r*pe. And over 20% said yes. That's _admitting in writing,_ anonymously of course. Not an in the moment thing, carried away or drunk. Perfectly sober guys in a well-lit room in the middle of the day taking a study were willing to admit they would do it. Knew that about themselves and acknowledged it. (Malamuth (1981))

[@allier1867]

The title from the movie is from a real case and trial. I think it was a judge that said 'He's a promising young man' referring to the perpetrator.

[@mariahdaley4773]

Gave him a light sentence because he didn’t want his whole life to be ruined due to one mistake. And what about her life? What kind of damage does something like this do to a “promising young woman”?

[@NationalHooeyLeague]

Brock Turner. Rapist.

[@poisonkiss201]

wouldnt be surprised. the men always get treated better in these cases. the women being S A is brushed aside. especially if it's a Caucasian male, they get away a lot!! i've seen so many instances of it, it's upsetting. like what are girls and women to do?

[@m3ntyb]

​@@poisonkiss201 yeah that's the entire point is the perpetrator is always poised as someone who shouldn't be held to harshly accountable because they're a "promising young man", while their victim goes unconsidered as having been a promising young woman who now has a lifetime of trauma and scrutiny to bear in comparison.

[@misssmisssymaria]

It’s the Brock Turner case. A Stanford student who sexually assaulted a young woman while she was unconscious. He served 3 months in jail because he was supposedly a “star athlete” and a fast swimmer. The judge and the defense attorney both blamed the victim and his father famously complained that it was unfair that his son’s life was going to be ruined over “20 minutes of action”. The judge, Aaron Persky was recalled by voters and was defrocked.

[@zetzle]

just to clarify, at 52:13 , the important takeaway is "don't assault women" not "don't assault women because there may be unforeseen consequences for you" because like. we're focusing on "rape is bad" not "consequences are bad"

[@katc6128]

THANK 👏YOU👏 This needed to be said. I know these fellas mean well.. but when he said that I got very irritated and disappointed at how such an important point went over their head (or at least Bryce's) 🙄 Rob I feel like actually gets it. But yeah the other two.. idk, at some points during the vid I was like.. you're missing the actual point. Like the scene with the lawyer for instance, rationalizing that the lawyer wouldn't have had a choice to not defend rapists... wrong. Women and SA survivors just want cis men to acknowledge and realize how morally fucked up society views and gives no justice towards abuse victims. And that the perpatrators deserve ZERO sympathy or benefit of the doubt

[@TheGirlInGeekGlasses]

@@katc6128 I agree wholeheartedly, some of the opinions in this video were kinda yikes. It's interesting as well seeing how Zuff expected the movie to end with the cis male lead Ryan heroically saving the day, which I'm so glad didn't happen because it would've taken away any agency Cassie had

[@kenzij]

I _think,_ and I could be very wrong about this, what he was trying to say was that Cassie was implying to fedora guy that there are consequences to trying that again. I could be reaching, but his awkward phrasing seemed like he was referring to the world of the movie.

[@rrraynaaa]

When I watched this with my boyfriend he went through an entire spectrum of emotions and it ended with him crying with his head in his hands, saying “is this really what it’s like to be a woman??” - note that he’s an intelligent man and I would definitely consider himself an ally. And he’s not clueless. This movie still shocked him and he was so upset. He just kept asking what men had to do to fix this. I told him that they need to start calling out their friends on bad behavior, even when it’s uncomfortable to do, and even when it’s “mild” and just “locker room talk” between dudes. And yeah, it’s likely that you’ll lose some friends because of it. But you have to be more concerned about the safety and security of half of the population than you are about if Al Monroe will still want to be your friend.

[@FeministCatwoman]

Not sure if you two are still together, but that sounds like a really good boyfriend. And you sound like a really good person.

[@O___________0]

13:06 the signs were there! She gave him a fake number and he still came back to ask her out (to her workplace, mind you, where she has to stay and can’t ‘escape’ like she could out in the street) when he already had the “no”. This is the classic “I wore her down” and it’s a red flag to say the least (and technically harassment).

[@gayhomosexuallll]

Plus, basically tricking her into going to his apartment after a date (puts her on the spot, implies he wants to go further, gives her less excuses)

[@alexs.5871]

@@gayhomosexuallll exactly. so many people (mostly cis men, unsurprisingly) say stuff like 'how is that putting her on the spot? she can just say 'no, i dont' want to come up' and go home. it gets tiresome to explain over and over again :(

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

​@@alexs.5871I know it's putting on the spot. It's common sense. Hope maybe that gives you a little faith

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

I also understand things a lot clearer. To any men, heres my experience on whats acceptable: if a woman seems interested in you it's a) they're an extrovert looking for a friend and like all friends will abandon you. Ok there's a small chance they won't. b) if a random woman texts you, they are fake. c) if a girl you don't know messages you on Facebook they are a bot, even if they have real images and videos on their story and you will get hundreds more bots requesting you. Idk how to turn it off. d) Never ask out a woman ever or talk to anyone because noone wants to be your friend. Noone cares about you. Yeah it's a bit cynical and I hope I'm wrong and this only applies to me but the older I get, the more true this remains. I'm probably wrong but in this antisocial world, the only people who get what they want are monster who don't follow the rules. But they do eventually get something far far worse than those who do follow the rules. There is karma and not in the afterlife either, on Earth.

[@justcallmeteacup4711]

​@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259We get it. Women are mean. Woe is you. Yes, you're probably going to be alone. Please stay away from women, for your sake I swear. Now are we done? Can we move on?

[@LiveThroughitAll]

This movie slaps you in the face with reality. She pays for her revenge plot with her life, and the most disgusting but brilliant part of this movie for me is that Alan got to move on with his life after Nina. He moved to London, fell in love, got engaged. Meanwhile Nina ended her life and Cassie’s life was therefore traumatized because of losing her best friend. It’s so real that the criminal gets to move on and the victim, and those who care for the victim, do not.

[@fayesouthall6604]

This

[@jessicawakefield535]

The reason the suffocating scene with Cassy is so long is that’s how long it actually takes.. they wanted to bring the viewer into the discomfort and horror of it, and reiterate that this was a choice Al was making, not a split second emotional decision

[@fayesouthall6604]

Yes it’s how long it takes

[@SingingSealRiana]

exactly!

[@imfamoushero]

i’m so glad they didn’t cut away from it. they make you sit in it and witness the horror

[@iamsherlocked345]

⁠@@imfamousheroyep it’s horrible and sadly a real reality

[@maya_m235]

this is one of the BEST movies about rape culture out there. if a director really wants to do a good job they should be able to do it without any rape scenes.

[@CorruptedSave]

I think one of the things that this movie does that I don't tend to see in others that address some of the same issues is that it really highlights how, in the current state of our culture, a man's reputation seems to carry the same weight as a woman's whole life. And it's not even just death that consumes her life, it's what Cassie mentioned in the cabin about how Nina's identity from that moment onward was shrouded in this one event, something she can never psychologically heal from. The ending feels like a pyrrhic victory because while the man is arrested and humiliated, it's at the cost of two dead women. This movie gets a lot of hate, largely due to the fact that it offers no catharsis for the victims, and instead it wallows in the miasma of suffering that lingers long after someone is assaulted. But I think it's important to look this subject matter dead in the eye and ask ourselves why it makes us collectively so squeamish to talk about it.

[@fayesouthall6604]

It is brilliant because it almost does but it’s bad enough

[@SingingSealRiana]

agree, especially since it does not focus on the victim and rapist, does not stereotyp, but instead focuses on all the people around it who enable that bs, on how people make excuses for their own and others action so they would not have to deal with really thinking about rape . . . . all the guys shown where not the stereotypical rapist they where not compulsory serial offenders, they where all opportunists who only acted, cause they where sure they get away with it! So many cases could be prevented, if there where not so damned many enablers out there!!! most are not the scary stranger in dark ally who get of on hurting women and everyone sees as a treat, no most are nice guys you are inclined to trust, fiends, schoolmates someone no one would bat an eye at . . . what broke nina was not al, but everyone else afterwords disbelieing her shaming her, making clear, that she and her feelings are not importent

[@KB_-_]

49:57 It was not the video coming out that ruined their lives/careers… it was participating in a brutal assault that did. The video is just an aid to holding them accountable. I feel like so many men get away with assault because others feel ‘bad’ saying out loud that will in turn ruin those men’s careers. It’s like, my guy, he messed up his own dang life.

[@TheGirlInGeekGlasses]

Thank you for saying this.

[@mariahdaley4773]

Not to mention that they messed up Nina’s life so badly that she didn’t want to live anymore. And the lives of everyone who cared about Nina.

[@marslara]

Fr I've never understood why people excuse others on the basis that it would ruin their lives if people find out. Like.. maybe they shouldn't have done something to ruin their life then???

[@alharairah2214]

Exactly, that is why this movie is called "promising young woman" because guys like Al's and Ryan's futures are given so much more attention and consideration than the women who are traumatized.

[@fayesouthall6604]

As it’s said ‘ men fear losing their careers, women fear being murdered by men’ priorities eh?

[@lindseycargile1865]

I love that they cast so many “good guy” actors, Adam Brody, Chris Lowell, Max Greenfield, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bo Burnham and even Connie Briton as the Dean and Alison Brie as Madison. It just shows that awful people don’t fit a physical or even personality stereotype. They can be anyone.

[@skyemadisyn163]

Sam Richardson too :(

[@rebekahkroeplin5962]

Someone also pointed out that the casting for the lawyer was also perfect. Because out of all of the men in the movie, he was the only one that remembered Nina's name and said he was sorry for everything he did. And it's no coincidence that unlike the other actors, he's known famously for playing not the good guy, but the villain (Spiderman 2). So, the only character to apologies and acknowledge his actions is played by a very recognizable actor who played a well known villain. They really were so purpose with their casting.

[@alexs.5871]

exactly. and with bo's character the red flags were right there from the very beginning and most of us still fell for the 'im sure he's a good guy' trap. - she gives him a false number to get rid of him, so he accosts her at work. - she tells him she doesnt want to date, so he suggests a friendship while still telling her he won't give up - they go on a date and then 'accidentally' end up in front of his place - he still hangs out with 'the gang' despite what happened - at some point he also tells her 'shut up, bitch!' it's played as a joke but it's still fucking jarring and i doubt she gave him consent to call her that 'casual' boundary violations of women by men have been so normalised and romanticised that we don't even realise how fucked up all of these actions are. also, he makes a joke about a kid dying of cancer, like come on, asshole.

[@valentinafangirling]

The casting for Bu Burnham was perfect. Because he is known as being the nice guy, and no one wants to see him as the bad guy. he is witty and cute and honestly almost the perfect partner. He was casted precisely because we root and want to root for him, which makes everything so much sadder. But also realistic, I think most women pass 30 def know a guy like him, that was so nice but also complicit in so much harm. I'm 23 and I already had like 3 lmao

[@LifeisFoo]

From what I heard, because of how serious the topic is, Bo helped bring levity in-between shoots

[@jimjimmyjames59]

All the men they cast are noted for playing “good guy” roles. It was a brilliant calculation on the director’s part.

[@audramcdonaldapologist3676]

Also the Dean and Allison Brie are known to play likable women as well as McLovin’ who was a likable character or is likable by the fan base of Superbad, genius casting!

[@celina2373]

I think Cassie went to the bachelor party ready to be murdered. She made peace with it knowing that Al Monroe was never going to get his punishment "just" for SA. She knew that this was the only way for him to be sentenced for a long time.

[@v.xien.]

Sad. But irl they prob will still get away with it

[@SingingSealRiana]

yeah, she knew the risk, she was not stuipd, she installed a failsafe, getting killed was not her intention or plan a, but she sure did take the possability into consideratuion and based a plan b on it

[@sorscha1308]

I think it was a win, win for her in a sad way. Either she would be able to tattoo Nina's name all over him and make it impossible for him (or his fiance) to ignore what he'd done. There would be uncomfortable conversations and she'd release the video too, to blow up his life and she was happy to pay with some jail time for "actual bodily harm" or whatever, in order to get that outcome. Or, worst case scenario for her, she'd pay with her life and the consequences for him would be SO much worse and he would actually pay properly for what he'd done to HER in a very open and shut way.

[@ohbooyourselves]

I would like to see more people watching this movie

[@amandagoodtime7751]

Me too

[@masonjar1405]

DYLANNN

[@Gkwilson1487]

Me too. I wish everyone could see this

[@april4769]

Me too!

[@dablackangel]

I loved this movie... was such a great movie. And so needed for men to watch this movie.

[@Wraiven22]

The fact that y’all thought Ryan was going to save the day is sending me 😂 I knew right away after their conservation where she shows him the video that he was never going to help her

[@v.xien.]

I knew from when he came to the coffee shop lmaooo

[@fayesouthall6604]

She pushed him away, spat in his coffee

[@Wraiven22]

@@fayesouthall6604 if that’s all you took away from that character then the movie was about you and you should examine that lmao

[@SingingSealRiana]

in most media, he would, he is pretty harmless as fare as romance love interests go and that in itself is disturbing . . . the whole movie plays so wonderfuly on expectations and establisched prejudices . . . like casting good guys for the despicable roles, a knowen villain as the only guy repenting things like that

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

Brock Turner’s father gave a statement at his sexual assault sentencing more or less defending his son for “twenty minutes of action.” At no point did he recognize the actual victim of the crime, the women his son assaulted. He was only worried about how his son was impacted. I thought of that during this movie.

[@Zaftique]

Oh! You mean convicted rapist Brock Turner? That Brock Turner, the convicted rapist?

[@natasha7760]

This film wrecked me the first time I saw it. When my friend was raped at university he completely got away with it, despite his dna being on her, her being injured, us corroborating - the court basically said she was drunk so maybe she wanted it and we had to see him on campus for the rest of our degree. It makes you want to go feral, most women I know have at least been SA, myself included multiple times, and the thing with the character dying is when the situations do arise again when you're in danger you want to live your villain shit and go for the jugular but instead you have to remember you're vulnerable. If you think about it too much you'd never find peace from the rage. The UK has a less than 2% conviction rate (and this is of cases that make it to trial which is so rare) and it's so common and I'm still mad, Carrie's energy in this was spot on. Anyway great reaction as always

[@hellogoodbyemylove1]

I’m sorry you can relate, Natasha..I can to and it’s so isolating to have this feral and unbelievable rage inside you after this happens to you because people get uncomfortable with this issue, and so they want you to “get over it”. Especially when loved ones or people close to you invalidate your experience, it’s like another assault all over again. I hope that you and your friend are on a path towards healing❤

[@amouramarie]

"It makes you want to go feral," that is 100% a perfect way to put it.

[@v.xien.]

I can’t imagine this happening to someone I care about. Even hearing strangers stories makes my blood boil

[@SpockNRoll]

About the lawyer "just doing his job" - I don't think that's what the scene was trying to highlight. It was highlighting how rape and sexual assault survivors are treated in the justice system, aka one drunken photo can "justify" a victim having been assaulted, because that's what victim blaming culture looks like.

[@1bendykat]

I also think it showed how Cassie wasn’t just punishing everyone involved regardless of how they felt. The lawyer not only remembered Nina as a human being but was basically begging Cassie to f him up because of the guilt. he couldn’t even sleep from the guilt (imo it was well placed. He deserves that guilt), but Cassie realized that the lawyer is punishing himself much more than she could ever punish him.

[@little78lucky]

My attacker almost beat me to death, I barely survived, with multiple broken teeth, cuts all over my body, Traumatic brain injury just to name some of it. He was charged with 12 charges from kidnapping, rape, attempted murder, car theft and more. He got EIGHT years in prison because of a sweetheart deal the lawyer his rich parents provided, yet the DA still asked me if I was sure the sex wasn't consensual and the beating was afterwards and I wasn't claiming otherwise for revenge.

[@SingingSealRiana]

the lawyer straight out confesses, that he harressed and threatened the girls so they would not take his clients to court . . . thats not just doing his job, thats illegal, amoral, abuse of power and plain vile and he knows it, thats why he feels remorse!

[@grapatin]

Also, the problem with the lawyer that the lawyer himself stated was that firms offered bonuses for settlements, so they were incentivized to frame the victim as the perpetrator and the perp as the good guy who doesn't deserve all this negative treatment by the court. He got paid more if he did that.

[@reinrose82]

I’ve heard men complain when it comes to asking a woman out why they have to ‘be so difficult’. This is it. This is why trust is so difficult. It’s very cathartic to have something like this illustrate the fear every woman lives with. WE DON’T KNOW who the ‘good guys’ are. It is NOT obvious

[@ardenalexa94]

Yeah, as a woman in my late 20s, that’s part of why I don’t like dating. Not everyone is bad but, it’s hard to know who is and who isn’t at times.

[@yb9964]

I read about a woman in France who found her her husband of FORTY YEARS had been drugging her and selling her!!! Every night for years ! And no doctor caught on.

[@ardenalexa94]

@@yb9964 that’s scary as hell

[@Munchkin895]

It's horrifying that so many men do not understand the difference in stakes here. While they are anxious about rejection, embarrassment and failure to secure the date...we are sitting there scoping exits, looking for tells and red flags and wondering if we DO say no how high the level of danger may be. Fuck. Men and boys have it happen too, but I don't know how many think of ALL these things while looking at their menu on the first date or sitting in that passenger seat. I have every time and it's exhausting.

[@RobertMorgan]

Same for men. Any one time it can cost everything.

[@patriciaqian1435]

The reason the scene is so long of Cassie being suffocated is because it takes 3-5 minutes usually for someone to die from suffocation, this movie represents female rage so well she psychologically screws with everyone until Al. Also all the actors in the film (besides the lawyer) are all known to be cast as good guys so when you see them you think they are good, it's why the lawyer is cast because the actor is usually the villain and ends up being the kinda decent one out of all the people she has revenge. It mirrors the reality of the idea of a "good guy" and how many of those guys do these types of things and how they get away with it. This movie is so good, dark, but amazingly written and filmed I'm jealous of everyone who watches it for the first time

[@theshadowfax239]

Alfred Molina is not always cast as a villain, unless the only move you saw that he was in was Spider-Man. He's a great actor with a very diverse career. Way to spin your narrative.

[@prayingbanshee]

@@theshadowfax239 As soon as I saw him I was thrown back in time to the movie An Education. It was lovely to see him and Carey Mulligan share a scene again.

[@patriciaqian1435]

​@@theshadowfax239I never meant to refer to it as always, but he is best known as an antagonist with all the spiderman movies and Indiana Jones, its similar with Clancy brown (the dad) as he plays antagonists often like highlander and Shawshank Redemption but in this film he is Cassie only sort of support. I'm not trying to spin a narrative, there are articles for emerald Fennell (director/writer) talks about her focus on casting. Obviously it's different depending on the person not everyone sees actors the same but Molina is best known my the majority of audiences as an antagonist and is shot in the movie to look unsettling

[@greek_geekgirl1326]

The scene of Joe comforting Al about it “not being his fault” is a play off of exactly how women comfort each other after assault, it’s meant to be a cruel mockery and mirror of that interaction and it was so much harder to watch because of that for me. Nearly every woman I know has both said and heard those words and to see and hear Joe use them to comfort Al after he made the choice to kill Cassie (the reason that scene of him suffocating her was so long was to convey that very clearly) was sickening. Al had a choice, assault victims never do, masterful storytelling and cinema but a hard watch for sure

[@v.xien.]

Wow I didn’t even think of that

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Yeah that's the joke

[@annjepsen1621]

The suffocation scene is about seven minutes, the amount of time it actually takes to kill a person via suffocation.

[@mischr13]

no? it's not mirroring the way women comfort each other, it's displaying how the patriarchy upholds itself and protects the oppressors from all consequences or critique. it's actually gross to compare solidarity between oppressed people to the way oppressors act in self interest, only protecting each other to protect themselves

[@greek_geekgirl1326]

@@mischr13 I know it’s portraying the way patriarchy does that, it’s also deliberately using the way women comfort each other as a mirror to show how those men think they’re acting when in reality they’re part of the problem, the director has literally talked about it in interviews about the movie that that was why the dialogue is used that way

[@missblue1617]

Their faces when they found out Ryan was in the tape, I can assure you we all had the same reaction. By the way, yes Cassie wasn't killing the guys, she just scared the crap out of them. This movie is a great way to let people know about this kind of issues. Great reaction guys!!!

[@CezzL]

I think what's interesting is there seems to be a split between people who were surprised at the revelation about Ryan and those who weren't. That man was giving me red flags from the start: The persistent asking her out even when she said no (and even when she'd given him a phone number), the 'accidentally' walking to his apartment on their first date. I didn't trust him at all lol.

[@marianne5055]

But I think that’s the brilliance of it though. Because the director clearly gives us these red flags but because he plays the role in such a charming “aw shucks” way we (and Cassie) are lulled into a sense of false sense of security. Plus, they had a very likeable actor play him. Another movie that does well with that type of bait and switch is Barbarian. Bill Skarsgard is known for playing creepy guys so everyone is immediately distrusting of him.

[@missblue1617]

@@CezzL I guess most of the trust we, as audience, feel for him is based on his charm and the fact that he is the typical nice, smart, non pretentious guy. So when he does things like this we think that he is just making a mistake

[@missblue1617]

@@marianne5055 Totally agreed.. also is Bo Burnham !!! he is a ball of charm jajaja

[@rainbows5232]

isnt it an expected plot twist tho

[@AlbeenoCookie]

I love how purposeful it was with her final plan to go to the bachelor party, knowing the only way she would get any kind of justice is if she got killed. Rapists dont get prison time, murderers do.

[@fayesouthall6604]

Because the video was passed on too, I’d guess he went down for that too.

[@hot.bowl.of.stew94]

Al Monroe's family was very wealthy so the lawyer was not a public defender. He made it very clear that the reason he took the case was for money because of all the bonuses he got. He didn't "have" to take the case. It doesn't matter that it was his job. I would rather lose my job then defend a r@pist and slander an innocent person in the process. I don't fault Cassie for forgiving him but we don't have to excuse his actions in the process.

[@agenttheater5]

46:10 What did you expect? He didn't say anything or do anything about Nina as he literally stood there and watched it happen. When he saw the video he tried to make excuses for himself, tried to plead his own innocence, took no responsibility for his actions. Then when she wouldn't give in to them he said 'then we'll both not be doctors, you failure' like a spoiled, sullen, sulky child. What made you think he'd do anything to help?

[@agenttheater5]

In Greek mythology, the virgin goddess of the hunt Artemis turned a mortal hunter who had spied on her while she was bathing naked into a stag and he was then ripped apart by his own hunting dogs. Sometimes I wonder if she was a bit harsh. Other times, like after watching this movie, I wonder if maybe she had the right idea.

[@Knightowl1980]

Love the male casting in this proving that being dork or cute nice guy doesn’t exempt them from being a sex assaulting pos

[@annjepsen1621]

The "nice guy" is usually more dangerous in my personal experience.

[@marianne5055]

She went to the party knowing she would likely die. She knew that a)the statute of limitations had likely passed and none of them would have been charged with the crime. And at best, maybe this would ruin their reputations and careers for a year, before quietly people forgetting about it and they get re-hired. That kind of stuff happens all the time. However murder? Yeah they’d go down for that.

[@DarleneLesmana]

every video zaff: is that the guy who everyone else: no

[@breyawnuhh]

I was just about to comment this! 😂

[@larissa1770]

Also every video Zuff: “who is that” considering it’s one of the main characters but I think he either wears glasses or the lighting is dark for him lol

[@xxxmochibaby]

She wasn’t killing them, she never wanted to actually harm anyone she just wanted SOMEONE to do the right thing or to show remorse. She gave everyone a chance to do that and time and time again she was let down. No matter who it was or how much time had passed. Bad people will always be bad people. The lawyer was the ONLY person who showed genuine regret so she showed him mercy. But he definitely wasn’t blameless, he chose to defend the clients he did and as she said threatened and bullied victims so they would drop their cases and he would get bonuses when they did. Everyone had differing degrees of involvement in what happened but they all made a choice to participate in the crime.

[@maevegresham3971]

I'm sure that was a hard watch but really glad you guys took the time to see it. The 'revenge' part of the story is fiction, but so many of the scenarios of the guys being creepy is so accurate. I really appreciate that you never called Cassie a 'psycho', and you really focused on the bad behaviour of the men, and the people who made excuses for them.

[@ronniereidy4648]

The character Madison who woke up in the hotel room with that guy, definitely deserved to experience that fear. At first I thought it went to far but Madison spent years telling a friend that saying she was raped was “crying wolf” and belittling her for what she went through. It doesn’t matter how often someone gets drunk, rape is rape. If you can’t get sober consent, it’s wrong. And then she said she laughed at the video proof of the rape when it was sent around. She didn’t give it to a lawyer or the cops. She hid it and laughed. She deserved to be that scared. She doesn’t deserve to be raped. No one does. But Cassie was justified to make Madison feel that scared.

[@gayhomosexuallll]

The lawyer had a choice, and that's why he felt like crap and asked for forgiveness

[@fayesouthall6604]

He remembered Nina and showed contrition.

[@rei_cirith]

He wasn't just doing his job. He's not a pro bono lawyer, he doesn't have to take every case. What he did was wrong, but what mattered was that he actually felt bad, took responsibility, and did something to show that he's changed. Ryan is the statement in the movie... like most people, he knows what is wrong and what is right, but he still didn't do anything when he could have. He didn't take any responsibility for his part in it. That's what we have to learn from this, not just, "Don't be an Al," but, "don't be a Ryan."

[@NaeOnYT]

This movie emphasized so much that is wrong with our culture. "I'm not a bad person," even though you were complicit; making it clear whose side you'll take in a "he said she said," "benefit of the doubt" situation; showing how people give zero fucks until they are personally affected...it's just a great movie.

[@deathwitheponine]

Just to drive home the bleak reality of sexual assault, rape, and murder of women Fennell originally had the movie end with the burning of Cassie’s body. Everyone got off scot free. The producers said it was too sad and made her change it to the ending where everyone got arrested.

[@Wraiven22]

It really would’ve been too sad, but far more realistic. These kinds of bad people win more often than not, it’s the good people that suffer 😔

[@v.xien.]

I wish that was the ending tbh. Reality is far more devastating

[@thomasbaker2067]

Carey Mulligan was so amazing in this film and Emerlad Fennell made this movie so good.

[@Sofie2734]

The red flags were there from the very beginning with Burnhams character! Form the beginning he ignored her rejections and just kept asking and asking and asking. When she curved him about the movie he still insisted, and he eventually followed her out.

[@vadalia3860]

I've struggled with how to feel about this movie. A part of me wishes it were about this serial killer woman who takes out creeps, because roaring rampages of revenge are fun & cathartic. But the more times I watch it, the more I come to peace with the movie we did get. It's more subtle and doesn't give quite the satisfaction hit of what it could have been, but that does make it more realistic and melancholy and even a little bit sweet when depicting how far someone's love for their friend can drive them.

[@jimjimmyjames59]

Um…she’s not killing them, she’s scaring them. There are no bodies to hide, no police reports of missing men.

[@TheRealDeal92]

Such an amazing movie and it deserves more credit especially with the message it gives about the society we live in for men and women in situations like this, how it is handled and so on. I love how they made the film with the colors, filming photography, all of it. I love that you guys watched the film. Thanks for uploading.

[@wewenang5167]

this is why we need separation between men and women, just women school, women uni, women shops,women office, women quarters, just like in saudi Arabia, no matter where or when we can never trust any men. I would rather live in Saudi Arabia then in western world if this is the reality of our modern society.

[@olavihekandjo2928]

​@@wewenang5167 so women institutions can be underfunded and be considered less prestige?

[@kellifranklin4432]

In Saudi Arabia if a woman is raped she can be executed. Women are completely subservient to men in Saudi Arabia. Women are allowed to be physically punished by men. Exactly what do you think is acceptable about any of that behaviour that makes you think living in Saudi Arabia is good for women?

[@jaspeis]

One of the best examples of great casting, almost all the men in this movie have typically had parts where they play the innocent nerd, good guy etc. Because of this, I let my guard down while watching, and was ruthlessly surprised that they all were rapists and bystanders. Genius choice there by the casting department.

[@musicmage4114]

The scene where Ryan kills Cassandra lasts so long because that's how long it actually takes to suffocate someone, and the director thought it was important to have the audience experience that.

[@cnomi8447]

Al*

[@annjepsen1621]

Tons of time to change his mind about what he's doing

[@iamsherlocked345]

⁠@@annjepsen1621yet he falls back on blaming her and he did nothing wrong

[@valentinafangirling]

Had Ryan been honest to the cops he still wouldn't have been redeemed either ways. Way too late. After the Nina thing, it was already too late. Can't be redeemed from being there, seeing it, and laughing at it.

[@serahne]

I don't know if it would have redeemed him at all, but him hiding the truth is definitely the nail in the coffin of 'I was young I changed uwu' that he is trying to pull. Obviously he didn't and he proves it the first chance he gets.

[@fayesouthall6604]

Bingo

[@lilscenechick1995]

Seriously. People who use that excuse are just awful. If you laugh at someone being assaulted while saying “that’s so messed up”… Yeah. That’s an admission you know it’s wrong and just don’t care. Ryan also pulled that whole “oopsies, what a co-winky dink we’re at my apartment, wanna go upstairs?” stunt. He lured Cassie there, knowing the whole time where they were headed. Instead of asking “want to go home with me?” he put her in an uncomfortable situation where she would feel awkward or rude for refusing. Very shady behavior.

[@valentinafangirling]

@@lilscenechick1995 the apartment thing honestly is not bad. Some people find it rude or crude to be direct. And she genuinely could refuse at any time. HOWEVER like another comment said, since the beginning he hid the truth. And even after pleading “no i changed” (which clearly he didn’t) he still was in contact with those men and went to the wedding even after everything.

[@WineCheeseGoats]

@@valentinafangirling You may not have thought the apartment thing was bad, but it was another red flag, and showing that he was trying to manipulate her. It also paralleled the first guy who picked Cassie up in the club who said he would take her home then said "Oh wait, we're right my my apartment". Seems to me the film thought it was bad.

[@bitscrawford]

31:34 "the only good guy in this movie" honey, you got a big storm comin lmao

[@valentinafangirling]

Different reactions are interesting bc is understandable why you guys wouldn't watch it again because is so hard to watch, but when I watched it for the first time I saw it like 3 times that week. Her character just made me feel so seen. To be angry, stuck, and unheard of, but taking actions in her own hands. Its such a beautifully done film even if its so sad and uncomfortable.

[@nicolelush6980]

I can't even count how many times a "nice guy" has done or tried stuff like this. It sucks that this has happened to pretty much every female I know including myself & it's an uncomfortable topic but it's something we all go through so I'm glad you're watching this.

[@luxawink]

one of my absolute FAVORITE movies of all time!!!! I could go on FORVER about what makes this movie so freaking phenomenal but simply, it is a masterpiece and does not get the recognition it deserves!!

[@manug20dt3]

If you have or are part of a private practice (which that guys surely was) you can choose who you take on as clients. Public defenders are assigned clients. This is such an interesting movie to me. I remember being really sick with the ending when I watched it. Just realized watching your vid that it’s Piz (for all my Veronica Mars fans) who killed her which makes me that much more upset

[@MegaDz2]

I hated seeing Piz like this 😫 because Piz is such a great guy in Veronica Mars😭

[@Nessy-wy3ks]

That was the point. The director purposely casted actors who famously play good/nice guys in whatever role they take. 😅

[@MegaDz2]

​@@Nessy-wy3ks LOL it just doesn't make it any less sad... of course we could say Piz lost it and killed her because Veronica chose Logan 😅 right? @manug20dt3 And actually I think the guys should react to that series and movie! I think they would enjoy it a lot and would make great marshmallows 😉 Holy shit I totally missed that LEO is in this too! He plays Joe the POS who taped it all 😭😭😔 oh I really hate this Piz and Leo 😩😩

[@Gkwilson1487]

@@MegaDz2 oh they’d LOVE Veronica Mara!!

[@Gkwilson1487]

Mars lol 😊

[@neonoires]

Society downplays how often sexual assault, rape, and sexual harassment actually happens. More often than not, you all know girls who have experienced some form of sexual assault but it probably went unreported. I'm a few years older than you guys and until very recently (as in within the last 5 or so years) men felt entitled to sex with a woman if she came to his place even if she said she didn't want to do it. I know that before I went to college, they would tell teenage girls how to avoid being raped at a college party or something instead of teaching people that rape is wrong in general. The fact that people have those "classes" to show people how to not be raped just shows how much rape is considered completely normal. It puts all the pressure on victims and survivors. I am in my late 20s and I kid you not... it would be easier for me to count with my fingers how many girls I know who HAVEN'T been raped or sexually assaulted because most women I know my age have experienced some form of sexual assault.

[@fayesouthall6604]

As an aside, first sexual assault 6 years old, most recent 49 years old. Yep and a lot I’m between.

[@chelseat177]

I’m 29 and it’s so sad that sometimes we repress things or it doesn’t even click that some of our sexual experiences are considered assault or r@pe. Like I didn’t realize I had been assaulted til a couple years after it happened. I made excuses or thought some of these experiences were normal. A lot happened when I was 20-21 and it’s just insane that now I know a lot of coercion happened or I had been too drunk or semi-unconscious and couldn’t consent. Even the next morning when I told friends it was like “Damn girl, yeah you were drunk that night” and that’s about it. A lot looked like the intro to this movie and I excused so much. These guys were “nice guys” that definitely took advantage and i was too naive to realize what was happening. Definitely not surprised I’ve been single the last few years, but maybe one day I’ll get back out there😅 Thanks for reacting to such a tough movie.

[@bexc348]

Consent needs to be focused on more in education, in my personal opinion and that sex is far more complicated than the basics. I truly hope you’re able to heal from your own experiences and I wish you all the best in the future.

[@chelseat177]

@@bexc348 thank you. And definitely. In 2011 I was a freshman in college and things like coercion and not being able to consent when you’re too drunk wasn’t spoken about as openly as it is today. We had talks about r@pe but it was like a stranger waiting in the bushes and like obvious fighting back, not coercion from a boyfriend or something. I do like how we are talking about it more today and I wish more of these talks would be directed at guys, not just women.

[@saorise28]

I’m 22 about to turn 23 and I’ve never been in a relationship. They scare me.

[@chelseat177]

@@saorise28 bad things happen but I have had a really great boyfriend after all this happened. He was there for me after and went with me to the cops and took me to therapy and when I was at my lowest, he made sure I was okay and loved and believed. There are good guys out there. We only broke up because our jobs took us to separate states and we decided to be friends. I’ve been single for a few years and would like to be in a relationship but I’m not going to make it a priority right now. I’m happy being single, but maybe one day. And if I don’t date again, that’s okay too.

[@bexc348]

@@saorise28 it’s scary but they can be wonderful too. If you’re nervous it’s good to understand your boundaries and figure out what you want and expect from a partner and communicate. If they’re willing to have open discussions with you and you’re both listening to one another and respecting each other you’ll be fine. I was honestly terrified of relationships after my own experiences but you learn to trust the right people and the people who really love you will be there for you and will be patient with you too. But also, if you’re not ready that’s fine too, there’s a lot of pressure to be in relationships but it’s ok not to be if you don’t feel comfortable

[@miriam8376]

One of the things I love about this movie is that it puts you in the head space of any smart woman with much life experience. With every new guy, we go through the same routine you guys were with Bo’s character in the shop. “Is he a bad guy?” And it’s very draining and it really changes your view of the world to constantly look at 50% of the human population like they might be someone who wants to rape or kill you. It’s not paranoia if you look at the statistics or even just the Andrew Tate-ness of a large section of male-directed culture.

[@neonoires]

This is so true. So many people have been complaining about working women in our 20s and 30s not pursuing relationships with men but it's tiring to have to work or do whatever we do in our daily lives AND have to vet every single man we meet just to avoid abuse or sexual assault. Men think we are being dramatic about it too. I had a man on a dating app that I didn't even know personally full on cuss me out because he felt entitled to a response and I was at work with my notifications off.

[@talharizvi2780]

The only unrealistic thing was that lawyer guy growing a conscience.

[@carawood9715]

And can we just add that they were med students? Like, post undergraduate studies. These were not kids, they were full grown adults!!

[@user-pv5wo3ip9o]

the reason she forgave the lawyer is because he was the only one who was genuinely contrite for the role he played. his concern was for nina and how what he had done and how he was involved caused her harm. he took accountability, unlike everyone else, who were only concerned for themselves and the consequences and who were knee-jerk quick to justify or downplay their role.

[@kellifranklin4432]

From my perspective this is the only way this movie could have ended. Cassie was existing. She wasn't living. What happened to Ninna and them leaving medical school and Ninna committing suicide broke Cassie. She was going out night after night to punish men for their behavior and she doesn't stop doing that after she meets Ryan. She knew she was probably going to die. I think she decided she was going to go out and take everyone down, including Ryan. A rape charge is much harder to obtain than a murder charge. She avenged Ninna and she destroyed Alas life along with Joe and Ryan. When Ryan got those posthumous texts I thought that was absolutely genius and I loved it. It ended the right way I think.

[@cocoraia]

It’s fascinating how the guys couldn’t even say it when referring to how awful “the bad thing they did to Nina” was. These guys seem great and I love that they watched and really absorbed this movie, but that moment really stood out to me. Even when you see it and know an assault 100% happened and it was horrible… saying “when they watched Al assault Nina” is still too hard to let yourself say. It’s “that bad thing.” This is very much a cultural commentary, in the US especially. And I include myself in that, even though I was a victim of s**ual assault a few months ago. It’s so easy to fall back into “they must have not known what they were doing,” or “they probably didn’t mean it that way, I/she should have been more clear in saying no.” It’s why movies like this are so important, and I’m so glad these guys reacted to it.

[@Biancaleigh693]

That's a good point but also KZbin doesn't like those words and can have their videos taken down so that might be why they don't say it

[@kenzij]

Your analysis is valid, however I think it's more about not having the video age restricted/demonetized/take down. Google and their affiliates don't like when you use direct terminology. Also, I'm empathetic about your assault. I hope your healing journey is short and untroubled.

[@hallieharvey4073]

This is why so many advocates are pushing to change the narrative from “no means no” to “only yes means yes’ if your partner can not give an “enthusiastic” yes when asked the first time then it should be considered a non consensual act to you and immediately stop the interaction

[@hallowseve5072]

I love how they made the smart decision to cast likeable actors so we automatically assume they're playing good people only for the movie to pull out the uno reverse card

[@cat_96]

Then to have a person who usually plays the villain to be the lawyer. He was the only one who felt ashamed of the part he played in what happened to Nina.

[@galaxylucia1898]

Also I read that the Director purposely told Bo Durham that he was in a romantic comedy so he had no idea about the latter half of the movie for his character which is why they were able to get those really good, lovey-dovey vibes in the dating montage scenes

[@shainewhite2781]

Nominated for 5 Oscars including Best Picture but won for Best Original Screenplay. Speaking of Oscars, Everything Everywhere All At Once won 7 Oscars: Best Picture Best Director Best Film Editing Best Original Screenplay Best Actress, Michelle Yeoh Best Supporting Actor, Ke Huy Quan Best Supporting Actress, Jamie Lee Curtis.

[@Teegahlah]

Here's the thing I never see mentioned about this movie that I think is SO IMPORTANT: these were medical students. Medical students. Not high school kids. Not 'frat culture'. These are people who already have a four year undergrad degree. They are well-educated adults, not 'dumb kids' and certainly not "boys". Beyond that, look at what medical school actually entails! 1-Medical students take MULTIPLE courses on fully informed consent and refusal. 2- They have extensive education on the effects of various kinds of intoxicants- how they can alter perception AND how easy it is to misdose or have an unexpected interaction (Cassie exploits that knowledge pretty blatantly and she didn't even complete medical school). 3- They are people who supposedly are called to protect and caretake and HELP others, having chosen a career that requires empathy and compassion. 4- They are required to take multiple courses on ethics and ethical behaviour, AND 5- they are educated on the devastating long-term effects of this type of violence. If there is ANY group of people who are fully aware of every single aspect of what happened and WHY it is so heinous, it is this specific demographic. And yet, not one single one of them spoke up to stop what happened to Nina, not one of them sobered up in the morning and realised they needed to do the right thing, not one of them even distanced themselves from the perpetrators. That entire party was filled with the very people who SHOULD be most likely to intervene, to speak up, to call out the behavior. Every single person chose to protect the guy rather than defend the girl... and every single one of them truly, honestly believes that they are GOOD people. It's absolutely disgusting how common it is for people to give the predator the benefit of the doubt. It's terrifying and heartbreaking how the suffering of the victim means absolutely nothing to the very people the victim turns to for help and support. The layers of betrayal are so plentiful and so pervasive, and so, so crushing. Too many people survive their worst nightmare only to discover that somehow, it gets EVEN WORSE... and end up like Nina, or derailed and stuck in the trauma like Cassie.

[@iamsherlocked345]

I called a coworker out for making a comment like that ( a football player was arrested for 2 counts of rape) I’m a sexual assault survivor and no way was I gonna just ignore a comment like that.

[@diaryofafreebitch]

Trust me when I say this film accurately portrays PTSD/ dissociation that comes with this kind of trauma. The scene with the crow bar is prime example. It’s difficult to describe and you don’t know unless you know. It also accurately portrays how people like this get away with things and keep moving forward, while the other person is destroyed. Having said that love that you covered this, well done. 💗💗💗

[@iamsherlocked345]

Yeppp both my ptsd/assault happened the same time … but i didn’t figure that out until years later. The dissociation is legit sooo weird.

[@elliepractice1954]

One of my favorites! I think what makes it so powerful is i get so invested in the romantic relationship every time and EVERY time I’m devastated.

[@Chefcorky]

I think every male should see this movie to get a different perspective of dating and how men treat women.

[@daphneglasurus7886]

Even if you truly are a good guy, this movie shows you that women don't know that. If you get nervous vibes from a girl who seems to be putting up walls that you don't think YOU deserve, you have to be able to imagine all the situations she's been in that caused her to put up those walls in the first place.

[@kiwigirljacks]

She knew she was going there to die. That was the only way to get those responsible for her friends assault and eventual death to be held to account in some way.

[@VirginiaRancier]

And after everything... Ryan went to the wedding.... like f*cking hell men

[@heathern8043]

ikrrrr

[@mistojen]

So I'm new to this channel and when I saw that it was three men about to watch this movie, I couldn't scroll past. I'm so glad you watched this and listening to your commentary was so fascinating to me because the thing is...watching this movie as a man is probably a VERY different experience than watching it as a woman but until this, I hadn't ever heard the opinions of a man who'd seen it. The casting, the Biblical poses (Cassie on the bar and on the bed with that first guy, splayed like a crucifix; the blue wall art shaped like a halo when Ryan goes to the coffee shop after the "oh wow this is my apartment" thing; the positions she and the lawyer took when he begged for her forgiveness), even her name being Cassandra (if you're not familiar, look up the mythology of Cassandra and it'll make sense why she prepared for the bachelor party the way she did)...all super intentional because it's a starkly raw reality for a LOT of women every day that even (sometimes ESPECIALLY) the nicest guys are the most dangerous monsters. All of it was designed to make the audience feel incredibly uncomfortable. I think the intention was for the movie to be one of the best films you never want to watch again and given your final thoughts, sounds like the director accomplished her mission. Anyway yeah thanks for this, it was really interesting to see a male reaction to this film!

[@maliii266]

27:02 “You’re not even that hot.” Oh how they love to use that line when they get rejected 🙄

[@kellyalves756]

“Not really my type.” - response to rape allegations, no further defense needed.

[@11ibi]

Watched the film once when it came out haven’t rewatched since you guys reacted to it the ending still haunts me because it’s the lengths she had to go to be believed was to die I always find films with difficult subject matter like this hard to watch but I’m glad I do watch them in the end cause their important stories that I’m the end matter and art I tend to believe help engage and make little steps to change the world for the better with starting conversations loved the reactions

[@fangirlalliecat]

The same thing with DV cases. Even if a woman has clear wounds and shows evidence of stalking, abuse, and threats, law enforcement does nothing most of the time until it’s too late. It’s gut-wrenching that the only way some women are believed is only when they’re made into a corpse.

[@hellogoodbyeandallinbetween]

I love the symbolism in the names and framing of the scenes. Cassie is often portrayed with wings, like an avenging angel. But, her name also refers to Cassandra of Troy, whose prophesies no one believed until it was too late. Nina also means 'little girl', emphasising her friend's young age and being just another insignificant girl in the system.

[@heathern8043]

I also thought this I think Cassie is an avenging angel as well! But I never see anyone else mention it. So many shots imply this. Like the blue halo shot in the coffee shop. And the song playing at the wedding. And the scene with the lawyer kneeling at her feet crying for forgiveness

[@RS-bn1ty]

I don’t really know Bo but he gave me bad vibes from the start, the fact he kept pushing for her to go out with him after she gave him a fake number 🤢 that’s creepy like stalker vibes

[@conallen1]

I had the ending when I first saw this movie but after seeing it for a second time, I realized that I was more upset because of the injustice more than anything. I think Cassie went on a suicide mission because realizing that man she had fallen in love with was complicit with the gang rape that happened to her best friend was too much. The only way to get justice Nina was for her to sacrifice herself to bring justice. Sadly, in college there are many similar stories where a girl who enjoys casual sex are villainized to the point those in authorities won't take claims of SA and rape seriously.

[@mandyclark6602]

Cassie definitely wasn’t killing them, just confronting them with their own behaviour. I’m guessing she had a colour grading system in her little book of ‘men’ depending upon how the night went I think, I hate to say but I’d say the colour red was used when things didn’t go so well for her maybe? Three colours, Black, Blue and Red were used....three levels of possible responses from the men maybe? Chilling.....glad you watched it guys, important movie for sure.

[@lilscenechick1995]

I’m thinking red stood for the men who actually did assault her. They’re straight up predators. Blue was potentially men who accepted no, or lack of enthusiasm/confusion (and “unconsciousness”) as no. Black was likely a neutral ground where they could go either way or she’s unsure. And yet neither of the men we saw were extremely violent. They just did whatever they wanted. I would still call what they did forceful, just not what people usually think of when they hear the R word.

[@mandyclark6602]

That’s what I thought too..maybe Blue as guys who pushed the limits of acceptable behaviour even though they knew it wasn’t ok and black as guys who backed off when they knew she was not ok with it even though they asked her back to their place and thought it was ok....it’s just so awful. All of them no matter what colour took advantage of a girl unable to give full consent. I remember this. I remember being this age when this happened to me. I’m so glad this conversation is being had now. It’s hard to watch now. It’s very triggering

[@naniiknoee8699]

52:10-.. I know he didn’t just say you can’t grape women cause you dk which one will kill you… guess I had too much hope 😂

[@eve5226]

Also, the lawyer ABSOLUTELY had a choice. He already had a successful career, he took on the case because it would get him more recognition in his community. He had a choice. That is the entire point of the movie.

[@jennberk7340]

Fun fact, the actress who plays Cassie also plays Kitty in Pride and Prejudice.

[@NationalHooeyLeague]

She's played a lot of big roles in big movies. She wasn't even a lead in pride and prejudice

[@jennberk7340]

@@NationalHooeyLeague if I wanted to list her entire filmography as a leading lady I would have. I’m pointing out P&P because they just watched it.

[@katc6128]

52:12 - Off the mark here my dude. Definitely missing the bigger/more important point. Men (or any human) shouldn't rape or assault women because it is FUCKED up and extremely wrong. Not sure if this was lost on you because you haven't had to move through the world as a woman aka have cis white male privelege, but I kinda would've expected/hoped that the ethical grounds and greater point the movie was trying to make would have been way more clear and obvious to you. And also off the mark with the whole "giving credit to" and rationalizing that the lawyer wouldn't have had a choice to not defend rapists... wrong (53:20). When it comes to something that puts your ethics, morals and values into question, I think anyone who is a decent human being would know that they ultimately have a choice in life whether or not to cross those lines, even if that meant professional consequences. Women and SA survivors just want cis men to acknowledge and realize how morally fucked up society views and gives no justice towards abuse victims. And that the perpatrators deserve ZERO sympathy or benefit of the doubt

[@alicemestria4373]

I'm haunted by this movie since it came out... I was abused and find myself thinking that women have to die in order to get justice, there's no justice and we consume ourselves until we find it, and most times in their hands, for a second time... This movie is a gem, I was rooting so hard for her to get the Oscar so this could be more talked about, we got best scrip and that says a lot...

[@fayesouthall6604]

Well said

[@O___________0]

29:02 What?? Of course he had a choice. All men do.

[@sarahjane86guitar]

Thank you for watching this guys. I was happily surprised when I saw it pop up. I appreciate that three guys not only sat and watched this movie, but discussed it afterwards.

[@lisa.222]

This is so sad because it happens everyday and these guys just get away with it. It's just overwhelming thinking ppl really kill themselves because they can't live with this pain of being violated.

[@Jully5Jullyet]

This movie made an impact on me so hard that I cried of fear afterwards. I was enchanted by Bo Burnham's character (as it was written to be) and the shock of discovering that he was there and didn't do anything made me fear every single man on earth. On a side note, the fact that they repeat the boy firends roles in each event was a great decision of the filmakers. There is the one who commits the crime itself (the r*pist and murderer), the ones that support/help the criminal (all his friends on the stag party) and the one that choose to do nothing (Bo Burnham's character had the chance to tell the police where she was, but chose to do nothing just like he did with Nina).

[@filmingwithyazz4185]

I genuinely enjoyed this movie and I'm glad you guys got to finally watch it!

[@DesFP]

New subscriber here, I'm so glad you guys are reacting to this film. It's criminally underrated.

[@marinabrown3696]

The death scene was that long because they wanted to show how long it would to take to actually suffocate someone

[@kellyalves756]

I really have to give it to the actors in this movie- even though they all played some version of terrible men, they all signed up for it, so that shows they wanted to be a part of the message this movie sends.

[@KmtKV5]

"You're really letting me down here Ryan..." I agree and had many of the same feelings when I was originally watching this film back in 2021. Cheers from the Thanatos Gambit!

[@KimberlyArwen]

The red hash marks in the notebook indicate violence, when the guy hurt her after reveals she was sober.

[@oliviacrawford5989]

I interpreted the different colour pen markings in her book to represent men who took advantage of her on her nights out vs those who didn’t and who turned out to be genuinely good people. Maybe I’m wrong, I’ve just always interpreted it that way. I also think the use of Paris Hilton’s song was very intentional here. A woman who was treated poorly by media/ society when her private tape was released without permission. Illegal back then but taken sooo much more seriously now.

[@caitlinbarfield8296]

I'm soooo happy y'all watched this movie! This is hands down my favorite movie of all time because of the impact it has with such a heavy and dark topic. My favorite aspect of the movie was the deliberate choice to cast comedic beloved actors in such dark roles. The director mentioned she did this specifically because you never know which men will hurt you, even the self-proclaimed "good guys".

[@bonniehalf-elven]

Check out Cinema Therapy's video on this. I am sixty years old. I hate that my body is slowly turning to crap. But on the other hand, with each passing year, I am becoming more and more invisible. As a happily single introvert, I'm good with this.

[@AREA-jp8vb]

Fun fact... the kill scene is the exact same length it takes to suffocate and kill someone like that. The director wanted you to feel how long it takes.

[@iamsherlocked345]

Yeppp most movies make it seem sooo quick but man that long scene is horrifying.

[@jeebsunabia7972]

One of my main takeaways from this film, and I hope it gets talked about more - is how society shapes the narrative of the straight man. I know - very broad strokes - but still. When straight men have accumulated a lot of sexual conquests, they are almost lauded for it. This directly feeds into the whole 'men will be men' and 'boys will be boys' storyline - which is almost always never afforded to the woman. Women are shamed, slut-shamed, if God-forbid they have more than one sexual partner.

[@lightuponlight6727]

A BRILLIANT film! So glad you guys watched.

[@GillDawe]

The reason the scene with Cassie's death was so long was because the writer/director Emerald Fennell found out how long it would actually take for someone to suffocate and she made the scene the realtime length that it would take, to show to just how horrifying it is.

[@xxxulixuxu]

Your bro could be someone’s demon. Everyone has to be held accountable.