Why The INFJ’s ‘No Contact’ Tactic Is UNBEARABLE For Narcissists

[@PSYCH-O]

Hey PSYCH-Os!👋 *So, have you ever had to cut off a narcissist as an INFJ?* Comment down below 👇

[@qbik911]

Had to cut off communications with Borderline (Same issues but worse) and now, years later, I still have the feeling like I've abandoned my own child and can not be in any relationships (friends or partners). But I am still kicking and working on my self every day!

[@annaandrea8320]

People think we still care when we slam the proverbial door, but the truth is we are emotionally detached. We no longer suffer. We don't miss them even though we once loved them passionately. In fact, we quite enjoy being away from those toxic people.

[@AlannaRevere-uk9pg]

EveryTHING she said! ☝🏽

[@SophieBells-kk2yg]

And then we look back at it, we almost feel dissociated cuz we can't believe we were once infatuated with them, because we are now disgusted by them

[@amandacompher1807]

Facts!❤

[@deltaradiance9034]

​​@@SophieBells-kk2ygwhen you practice Acceptance You never get to look back. You just accept things as they are Now... Next step is Forgiveness of Self and then cut the Cord... Then Release with Love coz it's important to not be upset at that person or experience anymore... All steps may not happen immediately but eventually you will feel much better rather than feeling awful for the experience you had with that person. I hope this helps. ❤

[@sajidulhasan2027]

I'm happy to slam doors, but I don't think the pain has ever stopped immediately. It's as of it's an exponential decay. Reducing with time, but never zero

[@drlarrymitchell]

Once you get to the point where you can love someone but not give a shit about that fact, the entire game changes.

[@K.B.Richards]

As an INFJ, once I was done 110% done with the narcissist (diagnosed) she became irrelevant. An afterthought. Now she’s trying every trick in the book to bait me back into her life after she saw my success. Zero attention for her. Her life will forever be a drought without me and she deserves it. That’s how they are to be treated after many chances given otherwise they will never learn.

[@mickeysammy5169]

45 yrs- horrendous discard- We didn't have technology to inform us of all of this! Healing and wiser now🙏🙏🙏

[@mendotafinest2714]

As an INFJ in midst of female covert narc, the whole video is accurate in every description. They initially have a strong hold on us, due to emotional ties. The mistake they make when they do something dirty and malicious when allegedly loving u. That shows us that their love was fake as well. Now, there’s no ties, no control for narc

[@millietodd4365]

I was with a narcissist for 9 years. I finally had to cut all ties with him. I couldn't take the lying, manipulation, gaslighting, silent treatment....etc etc anymore. I'm so happy I'm finally free

[@mtc-j9i]

That sums it up pretty well….right up to the last sentence…in the end, we just laugh at the futile attempts. I’m in this situation now and won’t ever go back….that relationship was a wilderness, and I had to learn to become a cactus to survive it. Now that I’m a cactus, I don’t need anything from anyone. Some people train you not to need them, and then once bootcamp is over, they get dumped, and no one ever looks back or misses them. This should be enough to open their eyes, but it isn’t 🤷🏽‍♀️ Not my circus - not my monkey.

[@julielehman1921]

I liked that apology!

[@ASMRPlaylistQueen]

Happens with friends, too. A lot of people wanna be our friends as INFJs, but we are very picky and keep the number of close people count very very low. Some people listening to this do not understand the difference between the INFJ door slam and "just ending a bad relationship" and are saying what you have described sounds common. I understand. It is hard to describe it really for non INFJs, but if they ever get to experience it, they'll understand. The INFJ isn’t the only personality type to cut people out. Other personality types do this to some extent, too, but for INFJs, it tends to be more frequent and intense. It’s said that when you deeply wound an INFJ, they don’t hate you, they nothing you. It is a perfect emotional detachment, without anger or guilt or need for revenge, and it really is just a switch that flicks on in an instant. To the outsider, slamming the door on someone who was once close to you may seem like a drastic measure. It may seem like it came out of nowhere. However, for most INFJs, that’s rarely the case. Things had been building to the door slam for a long time. I did this in the past with friends and lovers, too, and had no idea I was just INFJ-ing. I just knew what I dished out with the "door slam" was nothing like what most others did if they ever broke off with me.

[@barbarasaracini1271]

YEP!

[@remhk6672]

They don't wanna really be our friends. Just use us as punching bags and as a main supply for their narcissistic devious needs and desires.

[@susanmolnar9606]

Unbelievable this was on my feed today. I’m knee deep of coming off a long friendship with a narcissist that I was blindsided to learn she was using me for her narcissistic gain. I have slammed the door on her and I know she doesn’t get why. I’m also angry with myself for not seeing it happen to me. I’m strong and will get through this. But she will still not understand why I left. Too bad!

[@wendyedwards1834]

I was in a 7 yr marriage with an abusive narcissist. I was young and very naive. It took a long time to slam the door. But even now- 25 years later- he still tries to contact me once or twice a year to tell me how much he’s changed how much he misses me and how much he needs me. Even though he had another failed marriage and is currently married! Go figure. Even our son has slammed the door.

[@samraesamrae2355]

Yes, I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for 2 months, he used the love bombing for 3 weeks, then he switched all of that after, but I didn't use the door slam right away, I used the same toxic traits against him, including the fake love bombing, triangulation, and ignoring his texts for days, then I dumbed him when he least expected it... He tried gaslighting, triangulation, devaluation and every kind of toxicity.. But it was too late for him, I was already detached emotionally and physically from him... INFJ'S are so smart, and able to feel the energy shifting... That's why it's hard for a narcissist to manipulate us

[@ETTe316]

Well Said!

[@mendotafinest2714]

It’s soul crushing at first experience of devalue process cus we are caught off guard. True our intuition warns us of something not right many many times but we don’t know the extreme change and mental/emotional attack

[@nickolaszissimos1189]

We can even get to a point that we act like the narcissist never had a part within our life and that we never knew that person because that person we once fell for never actually truly existed. So we can discard the narcissist after that point and when we meet them again, we act as if we never knew they even existed in the first place.

[@ChristinaWhite-b5h]

I dated a narcissist, and when I left him, the more he tried to get me back, the more and more it made me not want anything to do with him

[@Christ.is.the.reason]

One thing i have learnt throughout the yrs... we are freekin narc magnets!!!

[@barbarasaracini1271]

SOOOO true!

[@barbarasaracini1271]

Wow! Htis everything right on the head! I'm in the midst of de-connecting from the narcissist and this has really been helpful. I'm definitely feeling prepared for when he starts hoovering again.

[@luscher5093]

It really does start to feel all very comical once you’re cognisant of their game play and their constant need for drama and manufactured chaos. The final two years of our seven year marriage, I just observed him like he was a specimen in a lab. I trained myself to remain rigorously self regulated and non reactive. His confusion and frustration at my point blank refusal to engage any longer with his baiting and goading, were on some deeper level recompense for the shite I had endured. Lessons learnt, I shall never again allow myself to be suckered by one of these toxic, sad arse ghouls. Single and celibate from here on going forwards!! 😂 I’m enough, and after a lifetime of being in relationship with these types, I’m no longer willing to risk polluting my essence and soul with these fools. The full power of my INFJ functions feels intact and fully operational. It truly is a super power. 💪

[@Marta_is_here]

Ha Ha!! The term narcissists is being thrown around like candy these days.

[@osiris8519]

There are too many.

[@brianlane9534]

Indeed it is.

[@joanndeck4315]

Latest research indicates 1/6 ppl have narcissism……in a world of BILLIONS….that’s ALOT…..they’re everywhere!!

[@cc1k435]

Infjs may tend to be empaths, and so they can expect narcissists to be around. So yeah, door slam was within me before I even knew my type or that it was a thing. 😂

[@abc111xyz]

So helpful that I have saved this video ... 👍 ... Thank you for the explanations. As an INFJ it took me now more than 9 years 🙈 of on/off with a N to break off with him 2 days ago... for me it was the very first time to have the courage to reject him and to break with him !!! This was a new step for me bcs all time I have felt a deep compassion with his hurted inner child. And what is really interesting... TODAY he texted me and send me a manipulative offer. My decision is clear (thanks for your tipps) ... I keep no contact - and you know what? I feel good and I am thankful that I have understood and overcome a dark aspect of my INFJ aspects 😅 I cannot heal the world. What really helped me on my journey was to experience and accept my spirituality as my truth and to align and strengthen my inner believe system accordingly ... hmmm. ... now I am guided by a higher spirit ..... I call it Universe, Angels, GOD Father 🙏

[@julielehman1921]

Yes I did, a year now. You explained very well.

[@RaKeTs03]

It applies for INFP too

[@RiseAgainWithLaurie101]

7 years

[@drewford3205]

❤ I've been in this exact situation

[@maximinoblas1171]

You have my sympathy 👍

[@maximinoblas1171]

You have my sympathy 👍

[@erinscruggs5838]

When the person that needs to the help goes no contact,,, that's a hostage!!😅 It's called isolation. Have a great day

[@chloecatlady5293]

Yes, it took a while, and I'm sure it sent him into a tailspin. While I'd prefer if he didn't I know it's his choice to do so. The whole "can lead a horse to water..." thing

[@Somewhere50]

I've had to do the doorslam many times. Just did the myers' briggs test and learned about infj. Currwntly with someone that really seems NPD. Learned of this several years ago. It helped some but I have a softness in my heart for him and I've never been on so many guilt trips. We are on and off like laundry. Its very discouraging.

[@remijiog]

Uhmmm, story of my life 😅. It took me about a yr and a half into the relationship to realize I had to do some doorslamming and get out of the situation. 3yrs in and finally moving on.

[@carolineswart8760]

3 members of family so far.

[@saifulazrinfoto9993]

If INFJ and INTJ could be sigmas. A narcissist could be a gamma. What Myers-Briggs alphabet is about gamma trait.

[@bourjoism3917]

I left my husband without even blinking even today he still confused about what happened I acted like I never knew him before same as a colleague I helped but backstabbed me so i cut off contact overnight but I noticed they still need my approval for some reason

[@lindavalentin5582]

Yes

[@elonmuskfanszone]

Again my favorite nsa PM or sub old acct Mbti team and tarot readers include the one with mermaid of Mesopotamia id

[@elonmuskfanszone]

Big brother as well

[@kimparker6954]

What Infj stand for?

[@RumiLoves]

I = Introversion N = Intuition F = Feeling J = Judging

[@js8224]

This is pretty common in most dating/relationship circles but doesn't convince me it's an actual INFJ thing. If it is then it's no longer the rarest personality type.

[@arlenerivera-gw4st]

INFJ's will door-slam anybody, not just romatic partners. Parents, adult children, grandparents, best friends, bosses can all be given up if we perceive that they are using us for their own gain emotionally or financially. We are slow, but once the decision is made, it's is final. The door-slam for an INFJ is not a reactionary move to a perceived offense, it is a deliberate, thoughtful decision for self-preservation and self-respect that we decide to carry out until death. And, usually, there will be no dramatics, accusations, or explanations given, the door will usually close quietly.