10 signs you have a narcissistic mother(short): 1) She sees her children as her trophy or her pawn 1:36 2) She likes to keep control 2:33 3) She uses manipulation to get what she wants 2:56 4) Her love is conditional rather than unconditional 3:23 5) She often diverts the conversation to focus on herself 3:54 6) She lacks empathy 4:14 7) She is unpredictable 4:44 8) She carries grudges 5:05 9) She is emotionally volatile 5:33 10) She will never want to let you go 5:51 ✨Hope you enjoyed video and i wish everything be good in your lives✨
@Psych2go4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the list!! How do you feel about this video? :)
@mariajin52144 жыл бұрын
@@Psych2go I feel still confused 😅
@soisaid35944 жыл бұрын
This called care ! Protect and provide
@mary_lis4 жыл бұрын
@@Psych2go more of this type of vids please cause i can relate to it :')
@iclynnx4 жыл бұрын
Does this apply to fathers too? Because I'm afraid he's egoistical. He lacks empathy too.
@madalyncoletti3373 жыл бұрын
Ok but like since all of us have narcissistic moms do y’all ever hate being touched by them once they want affection or is it just me?
@null-wj1sd3 жыл бұрын
OMG THIS COMMENT. I hate when my mom touches me and she knows it. I feel so uncomfortable when she wants to hug me. I have felt this way for years.
@adelinewoods97983 жыл бұрын
I do. I hate it when she comes into my room, and in general whenever we have to stay close.
@gul-e-zahrahaider45023 жыл бұрын
So true 🤣
@TamaraScully3 жыл бұрын
@@null-wj1sd same..
@felixf.27783 жыл бұрын
Yes, definitely.
@enjoliturner4179 Жыл бұрын
As a mom, I just want to say that I am so sorry to any child that has had to grow up like this. If you are reading this, and you have parents like this, I am so sorry. Parents are supposed to be a safe place for children. I wish that I could take every child in that needs it. Big mama hug, and lots of prayers.
@meddinaheeleen7618 Жыл бұрын
Aww bless your heart,thank you so much for these kind words💌and your prayers.
@Iowens15 Жыл бұрын
Thank You 🙏🙏🙏
@micheleruddle-evans6507 Жыл бұрын
I'm totally with you! Fortunately for me! I BROKE my Cycle with my children! I made sure they ALWAYS have my love ❤ unconditional ❤. And still do!❤
@satanicpicklegod9931 Жыл бұрын
You made me cry thank you
@enjoliturner4179 Жыл бұрын
Hugs to you!@@satanicpicklegod9931
@bulbulanetwork34684 жыл бұрын
a narcissist will also use phrases like 'get over it' or 'your too sensitive' because, to them, your concerns are trivial, and if its not about them, they are not interested.
@waitwhat69064 жыл бұрын
Heard these both as a kid, as well as "suck it up", "stop crying before I give you something to cry about", "don't make me look bad", all the classics. Can't forget the time mom filmed me crying so I could see how ugly I looked either :,)
@lamarasawyer8504 жыл бұрын
@@waitwhat6906 R u ok?
@bulbulanetwork34684 жыл бұрын
@@waitwhat6906 im sorry 😟, that must have been hard
@a.cnugget03234 жыл бұрын
Yeah
@jaxon33654 жыл бұрын
@@waitwhat6906 no way, my mom used to do that all the time lmao
@FunfettiSpaghetti Жыл бұрын
I will never forgot how I told my mom that the way she treats me makes me feel like I don’t want to live anymore, and she told me “you think I want to live with a daughter who treats me the way you do?” It’s always about her. I’m thankfully no longer in that headspace, but she definitely exhibits all of the things in this video. Thank you for opening my eyes.
@wendi-bnkywuv Жыл бұрын
Damn! I *wish* my "mother" would say things like this to me!!!
@FunfettiSpaghetti Жыл бұрын
@@wendi-bnkywuv you wish your mother would compare suicidal thoughts with you? Please seek help if that is the case.
@wendi-bnkywuv Жыл бұрын
@@FunfettiSpaghetti I am getting help, Don't worry! My dad is on my side now and I'm seeing a therapist. What I mean is that I wish she would say these things to me so I could have confirmation that she secretly wishes me ill. Having a "mother" who is always "apologizing" with sentimental, lovey dovey (creepy!!!) letters, phrases, and who is talking about how "strong" and "resilient" their child is, and how "joy" I bring her doesn't give me the satisfaction of having proof that deep down she despises me. I'd love to hear that so that my suspicions could be confirmed. So I could finally have the ability to truthfully tell myself "I knew it!" She didn't tell my dad how much she hated him and all kinds of other horrible things until he got a divorce with her.
@FFlores79 Жыл бұрын
My mom told me one time if my friends knew the real me they wouldn't be as supportive or like me...its always strange to be with my mother and with other people who care about me..its a strange feeling like I m living a double life...am I the awful person my thinks that I am when she is trying to gaslight me and make me doubt that others really like me or that others are just lying or am i really the person I am when my mother is not present? Was very hard when I got married and she had to be around our church friends who love us...its like it made her mad people like me. Made me very uncomfortable
@msprecious3498 Жыл бұрын
Wow after you said you don’t wanna live anymore? That’s serious , bye !
@gurudra4 жыл бұрын
A narcissist tries to destroy your life with lies, because theirs can be destroyed with the truth
@Irxsdiissxction4 жыл бұрын
Truuu !
@walkover-cc1dm4 жыл бұрын
I have phsyco dad and this 100 true He destroyed my mom's reputation and lost her allher friends :|
@Psych2go4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing. Did you relate to any of these signs?
@waitwhat69064 жыл бұрын
My mother always makes a point of how "honest" and "kind" and "generous" she is, that it's everyone else's fault for hurting her when she does nothing but help them, and for so long I took it all at face value because what else did I know? For so long I dealt with the guilt of _knowing_ I was one of those people who had hurt her, holding back when I felt hurt by her because she's been through _so much_ and I need to help her heal and atone for what I've done and all of that. It wasn't until this year that I realized what a shameless liar she is and now I'm questioning everything about her. She makes herself out to seem so simple and sweet but she's such a manipulative monster who seems incapable of taking responsibility for her immaturity, cruelty or all around bad behavior, and I still feel bad for her given her childhood but I'm glad I finally see her for what she is.
@Talkinglife4 жыл бұрын
@@Psych2go yeah
@Alteori3 жыл бұрын
This was my mom. We just had a blowout where I confronted her about everything. As I expected, the day after, she claimed I was the cruel one and how she wanted to hurt herself and went on with the gaslighting. At this point, I no longer want to talk to her.
@marcusbradford91773 жыл бұрын
Yep. Same. I've just cut my mother from my life as of 2 weeks ago.
@TheDJMysterE3 жыл бұрын
Yea same.
@REDMOON9823 жыл бұрын
Omg same. I cut my mother from my life last Friday. She kept gaslighting me and abusing my sensibilities. She has done so my entire life. I am relieved to be done with her sorry arse.
@undeadkhalid63593 жыл бұрын
For me It doesn't matter how much I talk to her or confront her, she will always play the victim ,
@questionmark98193 жыл бұрын
I cut my mother off 25 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.
@sagesaturn75184 жыл бұрын
whenever i tell my mom i'm tired or not feeling emotionally well, she always comes right back with "YOU think YOU'RE tired/depressed?!" and proceed to explain to me why she feels worse and it makes me feel like i can't feel anything since others have it worse
@charlottecamila28593 жыл бұрын
Same here 😪
@sunmist223 жыл бұрын
You have the right to feel everything you feel! Don’t allow anyone to take that from you!
@etiennemarchione22073 жыл бұрын
100% even when I've been hospitalized for various reasons she sees this as a competition and is suddenly stricken down with something much worse! Keep your head up and meet your "family of choice" that's how to win at her sick game!
@varun93383 жыл бұрын
Help her out bro to lead a good life Please be kind towards them and seek some professional help❤️❤️❤️❤️ Love you
@elizabethhayward5703 жыл бұрын
It's always about them.
@brittanypenick3945 Жыл бұрын
Everything is disrespectful when it's something she doesn't want to hear..I can relate to everything in this video!
@Bigsupreme20007 ай бұрын
Exactly.. I'm facing this same problem 😭😭😭
@moonlust246 ай бұрын
for real
@Lalalalala6794 ай бұрын
EXACTLY
@missstranger76974 ай бұрын
Has she ever been able to respect herself to demand respect from her children? Nope, so why are the children obligated to do so?
@StacyHarriet-o6mАй бұрын
I'm facing the same
@fluffyunicorn99954 жыл бұрын
people who tell you you should always love and respect your mom because she’s your mom 😒 heck no
@allymellinger85424 жыл бұрын
I love your profile picture 😳
@fluffyunicorn99954 жыл бұрын
@@allymellinger8542 damn i love yours as well
@zerodiamond42064 жыл бұрын
I agree 100%
@sherenifernando974 жыл бұрын
||-//❤️
@marty304 жыл бұрын
Yeah cuz they never experienced such harsh time with their family...
@user-dy9wq6uw4p4 жыл бұрын
Imagine being a Highly Sensitive Person as a daughter of a narcissistic mother.
@pamelalundgren81634 жыл бұрын
Me. My childhood was hell and it has impacted every area of my life as an adult: all of my relationships and jobs have been disasters. The damage is so deep that it'll never be repaired even with years of therapy. At times the pain in my heart is so great that I'd like to end it all just to make it stop. I suffer from major depressive disorder, severe anxiety, PTSD, shame, guilt, self-loathing. My sister was the "golden child" and her twin; coupled with a narcissistic, alcoholic father, I sure hit the jackpot when it comes to family. I can't wait to die to escape this horrible life.
@user-dy9wq6uw4p4 жыл бұрын
@@pamelalundgren8163 oh my god, I'm sorry. I really hope you get better. I can give you a virtual hug if you want tho!
@Someone-or8tp4 жыл бұрын
HAHAHAHAHA... HAHAHA... HAHA... HA..... oh shit that's me, isn't it-well, I'm just gonna burry that in the deep recesses of my mind and pretend I never came across this realisation!
@niyahpia4 жыл бұрын
Its hell
@im_your_worst_nightmarexd6044 жыл бұрын
Me...
@psychicrenegade3 жыл бұрын
Best description of a narcissistic mother: "I hate you, but don't leave me."
@hasinidissanayaka3 жыл бұрын
This is my mum
@Electric-Lady3 жыл бұрын
Yup... 😐
@Milty20013 жыл бұрын
Bruh my mom always brags to me how I always follow in my dad's footsteps but not her, she always makes me do house chores just so she could tell her friends how I'm obedient but in reality I don't talk to her all that much except maybe when we have dinner now I'm freaking 20 and wanna go live some place near my college and she still begs me to stay with her despite her narcissistic behavior
@Tink62173 жыл бұрын
I love you but I don't like you 😓
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
Yeah that's does mean "she hoping on us but kick our ass if not as expectation''
@SharedaMoore10 ай бұрын
I'm trying so hard not to hate my mother. She has put me through so much hell throughout my life. She taught me to hate myself from a very young age. I'm just starting to love myself after 33 years. So sad. I wish I would've known my worth from the start. I wouldn't have made most of the mistakes that I have made.
@cindyschuhmacher7094 ай бұрын
Don't seek her approval. You will die trying. I once was at a pre school where a little boys mom was leaving. He got scared and said to her, "If you go, who will clap for me when I pee?" The pre school teacher said" You will clap for yourself. " Sometimes in life we just have to be our own cheering section. Stay strong.😊
@SharedaMoore4 ай бұрын
@@cindyschuhmacher709 Much needed message! 🥺 Thanks so much! God bless 🙏🏾❤️
@derekmaullo28654 ай бұрын
@@SharedaMooreEveryone cannot be a life giver, and everyone can't be a parent these days. It's hellish
@SharedaMoore4 ай бұрын
@@derekmaullo2865 I agree
@veronicarocha322820 күн бұрын
@@SharedaMoore I consider myself blessed that when I was 20 my daddy noticed that I was beginning to have anorexia. He took me to a therapist & I learned it was my mom always telling me that I am fat & ugly. We lost my daddy when he was only 53. I was 29 my brothers were 13 & 9. I have had to go back to therapy a few times. Thank God I am married & am blessed with a beautiful 32 year old daughter. I have asked her if I have been a good mom, She has even told me that her friends wish I was their mom. She says that I have been a wonderful momma & nana to my granddaughter*;0) I admit I still have my bad days but because of my wonderful husband I am ok🦋💚🥰🙏🌻*;0)
@wipwomptv24744 жыл бұрын
Every woman can be a mother, But not all can be a parent.
@issajj31653 жыл бұрын
I think you have this backwards
@lolaishotasf3 жыл бұрын
Yeah this definitely backwards
@twtabuttonshirt3 жыл бұрын
you got the right idea, just rephrase it
@foockedurmom3 жыл бұрын
every woman can be a parent but not all can be a mother
@lilac6243 жыл бұрын
True..Why are narcissists allowed to become parents?
@rainingwhenidie2 жыл бұрын
Moms: *Belittle you, mock you, invalidate your emotions, play the victim when you criticize her, make any problem about her, yell at you, antagonize you, create a hostile environment for any sort of discussion to happen because you constantly feel like you're in a debate, having to justify every little thing you say or emotion you feel* Also moms: Why don't you ever talk to me about your problems? 🥺🥺🥺I'm your mother, it feels like you're pushing me away 🥺🥺🥺
@jdcs._2 жыл бұрын
Legit
@sdvlogsshrts51092 жыл бұрын
True 🙄
@bonnietaylor73842 жыл бұрын
This is so on point! If I bring up the smallest thing she will have a tantrum about how mean I am etc etc. Cut her out and now get emails about "we both were never good at communicating, why would you do this? I'm so sad now and there's no reason why!" Even though I sent her through the reasons?
@ohshanana23972 жыл бұрын
Omg everything you said reminds me of my mother
@x.0.x.2 жыл бұрын
YUP !
@Zippy7032 жыл бұрын
Started my path to heal my childhood trauma and I've come to realize that my mother is my childhood trauma.
@myvettebeauty2 жыл бұрын
❤
@yvonnepost2881 Жыл бұрын
Same here.
@simonjones7674 Жыл бұрын
Any advise
@misslulu8110 Жыл бұрын
Same . I expressed how I felt and she literally said what do u want me to feel bad or something.
@Chey_Town30 Жыл бұрын
Same every time I try to tell her about it she tells me I’m playing the victim or her most favorite quote is “woes me”. Or she tells me I need therapy. And if I call her out on anything she yells at me and says your not going to make me your personal punching bag. 🥺
@prestonsaidno Жыл бұрын
One time, my biological mother who is DEFINITELY a narcissist said, "Someone else gets all the credit, yet I get treated like shit". It's always about her. All the while, she's throwing objects at me, raising her fist to me, threatening to punch me in the face or throat, lying to me, gaslighting me, etc. She paints herself as the victim when in reality I was the actual victim.
@emaginarymusic Жыл бұрын
Yeah very relatable. Somehow we were responsible for her emotions growing up.
@v2807 Жыл бұрын
Get away from that. That isn’t normal!
@prestonsaidno Жыл бұрын
@@v2807 yeah, ik. Mind you, I'm adopted. She manipulated my adoptive mother at the beginning of this year most likely saying that I abuse her, I'm "disrespectful", etc. My adoptive mother was going to buy me an apartment this year. So, why should I respect my bio mom, who for over a year, manipulated people to get what she wanted. Because now, thanks to her, I'm in a group home. AGAIN!
@v2807 Жыл бұрын
@@prestonsaidno I am sorry to hear that. Why is your adoptive mother listening to your bio mother?
@prestonsaidno Жыл бұрын
@@v2807 My bio mom forced me to give her my mom's number. That's when all hell broke loose.
@KrisTopaw3 жыл бұрын
My therapist actually told me that my mom is a narcissist and this video made me remember how much abuse I've been through. I hope others are able to find that help they need. Thank you.
@nightowl86293 жыл бұрын
But how.where can I find help . Even my tharapist ignored me😖
@nightowl86293 жыл бұрын
@@Chirpieshome thank you for your advice...
@sarahicarranza34623 жыл бұрын
Lucky you!! My therapists always downplayed what my mom did to me. They told me that it was normal for us to have conflicts because I was a teenager and she was going through menopause. They all told me that I could not make her change that the only thing I could do was to change myself (ok, they're right about this). I still struggle with my mental health because there were many years of verbal and physical abuse, I currently take medication for depression and anxiety and it is hard for me to set boundaries to people. I got tired of looking for a "good" therapist, but I still work on my healing process by myself.
@Hx3ney3 жыл бұрын
I tried reaching out to counselors and teachers when i was little even my dr and they did the same gave her excuses. Dont give up theres people willing to listen and help. Theres techniques you can learn to minimize the abuse if you havent gone no contact which is so hard but the best thing to do. The internet google social media youtube .. use it to research and learn and connect with people. Theres soo many of us who have gone through almost identical experiences and every experience is validated. Take back the control and get on that path to healing. Its been about 12 years since I learned what my mother is and though progress is slow ive learned so much. My heart goes out to everyone ❤
@Meow-tz3nb3 жыл бұрын
Literally the same, I'm really sorry bro
@caseyjones97163 жыл бұрын
Imagine what the relationship looks like if the child is gifted (musically, artistically) or extremely intelligent and the mother is not. How many brilliant young minds have been damaged by the narcissistic, jealous mother who could neither take pride nor joy of her child"s gifts. Even the accolades for the child can be used against them in vicious ways.
@miak68593 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your comment 😭
@LinhNguyen-eq9in3 жыл бұрын
yeah it'll come to the point that the kid don't even want to do what they used to best at anymore
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
Yeah i never get motivation and love from my mother, at least proud for whatever i done for her in every aspect on the rest of my life T_T. Now i just have GOD.
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
Yeah we don't know what direction we suppose to be 😭
@DeathSpellXVI3 жыл бұрын
She'll find a way to destroy what you do, she'll make faces and even try to correct what you do, they're so skilled at making you feel like it's not good enough or say it's nice but it needs this and that but they'll never truly feel proud of what you do.
@SilentTrip4 жыл бұрын
It always felt strange when my friends talk about their mothers and their healthy interactions, for a long time... I thought they were exaggerating or lying about that healthy love. Then I realized that my mother was the narcissist and it was my family that wasn't normal
@BananaGrace4 жыл бұрын
Wow.... I really thought I was the only one. I’m so sorry.... that stings like a bitch... I also really believed everyone else was just full of crap.. I’d often get jealous of girls I saw who were like best friends with their moms and always wonder why I couldn’t have that with my mom..
@Orchidlettux4 жыл бұрын
Exactly, one time I asked my classmate “Your mother doesn’t beat you? You have a weird mother!” I was in 1st grade.. turns out my mom’s the weird one
@Orchidlettux4 жыл бұрын
@Y2kBarbie Ah yeah, the guilt trip thing always gets me, with the comparisons too :(
@jahzara_4 жыл бұрын
Yeah
@marianneregalado22354 жыл бұрын
same
@karakatt2429 Жыл бұрын
I also want to mention “I’m sorry I’m such a bad mother” that’s a phrase I’m very familiar with. It’s a guilt trip, trying to invalidate your feelings and concerns because narcissistic parents can’t bear having the fault being put on them so instead they put it on you. I hope everyone is doing ok, stay safe ❤️
@AFKAden Жыл бұрын
My mom says the same thing
@sandermez385610 ай бұрын
OMG my mom says that ALL the time. usually she makes excuses or downplays things and when I push and point out her wrong she gives up and say "Well, Im sry I guess Im a bad mother then!"
@user-io4ye9ic5e7 ай бұрын
That's literally my mom's daily phrase
@SassyO1007 ай бұрын
Yup my mother in a disagreement will put words into my mouth by stating 'oh so i'm mad'.... or 'oh so i'm a monster' its scary when she does that as it feels as if she's hearing voices (not from me). I always mention I didn't once say that, and those have never been my words...I realise im speaking to the brick wall at that stage. I so try to avoid these confrontations but she always finds me....like she needs her daily dose of conflict. Scary relationship for the damage it does to the nervous system. To the outside world shes a harmless elderly lady who wouldn't hurt a fly. ahhh Just to add, I over the years ive put myself into therapy - im proactive with that and see it as healthy thing to do. I have spent so much energy on speaking about my mother relationship (not) that I now have no more I want to air as im tired of the dynamic..I've come to the conclusion I can not really do anything that will help this but accept that it is what it is and use simple strategies to limit connect with her. Its hard to do when you live with her but my experience of living away has been more positive so I know its my only goal is to leave her vicinity.
@nathanwilburn58796 ай бұрын
After confronting my mom she literally said "so sorry I mistreated you growing up, hopefully you'll do better with your own".
@curtistinemiller46464 жыл бұрын
I feel bad for anyone that has a Narrccisst Mother,you know what it is to feel rejection,shame and blame and denial.....
@curtistinemiller46464 жыл бұрын
@Joshua Guetzkow I hear you Joshua .
@curtistinemiller46464 жыл бұрын
@Joshua Guetzkow what do you mean?.
@curtistinemiller46464 жыл бұрын
@Jeon Jungkook I know..Pray..
@artist22463 жыл бұрын
With an added dash of self hate and lack of identity😎😂narc moms really know how to help their daughters(sarcasm)
@curtistinemiller46463 жыл бұрын
@@artist2246 Yep,it is just sad...
@JackthePumpkincat3 жыл бұрын
They say monsters are under the bed.. Sometimes It's the one that tells you the bedtime story.
@elsaaryndale40143 жыл бұрын
I have a hard time believing that a narc would care enough to tell a bedtime story. Kids are trophies to them. Glittery when outside,neglected at home
@Jennifer-uh8th3 жыл бұрын
Ur narcissistic mother reads bedtime stories to you? Wow
@アレクサンドラ-y5l3 жыл бұрын
@@Jennifer-uh8th its just a say
@katarinatill47133 жыл бұрын
Hope it helps 🙂
@mysticalmess92923 жыл бұрын
Did you get hugs too???😲😲😲
@Renikee4 жыл бұрын
Mom: don't lie to me! You should be honest with me! Also my mom: * shouts at me when I tell her the truth about something *
@daphenomenalz41004 жыл бұрын
Yes that's normal
@im_your_worst_nightmarexd6044 жыл бұрын
Yes, *VERY NORMAL*
@fluffysock71624 жыл бұрын
It’s very normal. We can’t expect parents to be cool w everything. You need to be comfortable w telling them and taking the punishment. It’s a part of teaching you. As long as they aren’t too harsh it’s no problem.
@shellysworld31224 жыл бұрын
@@fluffysock7162 no it’s not normal at all. She tells me she’s always there for me and I tell her about my mental health. And she goes off at me and makes it about herself she’s actually genuinely never been there for me.
@DiurnalOwl4 жыл бұрын
Mom: don't lie! You should be honest! Also my mom: * lies like crazy all the time to everybody, shouts at me when I correct her thinking it was an innocent mistake *
@arha13 Жыл бұрын
My mother can’t compliment me without ending with “you were so much better as a two-year-old” because back then I couldn’t talk back. I already knew she is the source of much of my childhood trauma but she hit all of these points and me :)
@melodylove40 Жыл бұрын
My mum never compliments me lol!
@arha13 Жыл бұрын
@@melodylove40 personally I’d rather take no complement than a backhanded one
@melodylove40 Жыл бұрын
@@arha13 That’s true
@wendi-bnkywuv Жыл бұрын
They idealize us when we're young because they can use us as bait for their narcissist supply. We're compliant and desire to please them. Once we get older and become more independent and don't do the things they want us to, they freak out. My "mother" included!
@sm1purplmurderedme5835 ай бұрын
my mum can never compliment me😂 i hate her
@brittneyl.91153 жыл бұрын
Couldn’t communicate as a child, as a adult i can’t speak to my mom about anything that is negative about her. If I do she cry’s and says I’m attacking her
@vampirepaula3 жыл бұрын
Same 😞
@willwest82703 жыл бұрын
My mom doesn’t cry she just stands there with a blank stare on her face. Which just makes me more hurt and angry.
@mudskippa89583 жыл бұрын
@@willwest8270 Oh god, I call it the Ice Face. Horrible!
@syedabdurrahman2253 жыл бұрын
Same here i always wanted to share my thoughts but whenever i try to do it she never supports me
@marymargaretblumhorst53593 жыл бұрын
She got away with doing it her way,now she has no interest in remorse or change. Leave her alone! MMB
@TheDorreProject2 жыл бұрын
My biggest piece of advice for anyone with a mother like this is to become self-sufficient/independent as soon as possible. Get out as soon as you can so that you can finally heal. One day, I confronted my mom about everything. I poured my heart out thinking that she would finally acknowledge all that she's done if I show her how badly I felt about how I was treated throughout my life. By the end of it all, I was in tears. I was vulnerable. She didn't say a word and just started laughing. Since then, she's been dead to me as a mother. I knew I would never get true motherly support from her and I mourned the loss of the "mother" I thought I had but never did. I still talk to her, but it's very superficial. I don't share anything that is important to me with her. Oddly enough I still love her, but it feels different now. I don't allow myself to get manipulated just because I love her. I keep low contact with her and she will always be on an information diet. Edit: I have friends who have the sweetest mothers. I consider them as my motherly figures. So, I went from having no real mom to having many amazing and caring mothers.
@Youtubeuser108732 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry this happened to you and I’m happy that you were able to become independent and overcome your struggle . I’m craving freedom of living alone she really effects my mood and pushes me to be angery then processes to laugh at me. She’s always right and she could hit/ cuss me whenever she wants because she’s my mother. When she doesn’t get what she wants from me she would tell my dad to controll me by twisting things and details that way he could controll me and tell me to do whatever she wants since he’s already controlled by her. I feel like i’m not heared and feel like a puppet in this house . It’s so toxic that it makes me invalidate my emotions
@tyrannuslapis51072 жыл бұрын
@@KZbinuser10873 You're gonna need to make a plan and follow through. dont burn your bridges, but you will need to put your foot down to get what you want. i ended up moving in with my grandparents and they taught me to drive, i got a job, and was finally able to move on with my life. i'd suggest talking to people who arent them: people you can trust. i mean i have a friend who for several years repeatedly mooched friend to friend until they got kicked out. had numerous chances to put a life together; but he just wasted it playing games, and doing occasional household chores. now that he's finally forced to move back in with his parents, he's finally got the message and moving forward. My advice, don't act on anger or spite; just cut out distractions and make a well thought out plan. also, be careful; you dont wanna trade 1 manipulator for another.
@auralangst61772 жыл бұрын
Why bother to keep contact? What's in it for you?
@shillaamagulu56282 жыл бұрын
Mine plays us amongst ourselves, with the older ones constantly her body guards, it is tiring draining. I have learnt to ignore her, not listen to her advice buy I still show her love.
@kimovo88 Жыл бұрын
As a young child, I was very emotional, my parents would goad me into getting upset and once I was hysterical they would laugh, it was humiliating because I couldn't stop myself from getting upset and they seem to really get off on it, upsetting a 5 year old it's kinda of sick now that I think about it.
@catherinemcintosh37933 жыл бұрын
When i told my mother i was depressed, she said to me,"what have you to be depressed about"? If only she knew!😑
@theplantypants24613 жыл бұрын
♥️♥️
@AlwaysAnonymously3 жыл бұрын
I was molested for 4 years as a child and when a counselor said I was showing signs of being depressed my mom literally laughed it off. I understand exactly what that feels like.
@cmrjc743 жыл бұрын
Hang in there life is beautiful when you figure out you and how to handle you when it comes to others and situations
@sarahcardoso92943 жыл бұрын
I feel you
@nancyliu5773 жыл бұрын
One tome when I told my mom my andomin has a very sharp pain.She said GO TO HELL.
@alexandernolting33 Жыл бұрын
worst thing after breaking the contact: the echoes of her guilt trips won't go away after years and you still feel like it's your failure.
@johnq.public33023 ай бұрын
THIS. Jeez the guilt runs deep....even though I know I have nothing to be guilty of. I'm an adult who decided to enforce healthy boundaries.
@brooklynrichy92464 жыл бұрын
Ah this feels all too familiar. I’ve talked with my dad about it, but we’re the only ones who see that side of her. She puts on a “nice mom mask” when she’s around her friends using me as her pawn.
@miltsus4 жыл бұрын
Yep same here, seems like an angel to the outside world. Only people inside the doors know what the hell is up
@LilChuunosuke4 жыл бұрын
My mom had that mask too but it wasn't a good one. Some people fell for it. One of my best friends told me years ago that the first time our mothers met, her mom called mine a bitch after we left lmaoo. And my mom had been going ham on sugarcoating and trying to look like the world's best mom.
@valeriehouston45394 жыл бұрын
Yup exactly how both of my boyfriends parents are.
@bengoyi4 жыл бұрын
Same here
@misplacedpotato79623 жыл бұрын
Same here also, it's terrible having that type of mother and no one seems to think that she'd act that way since they don't actually know her truly..
@marianneregalado22353 жыл бұрын
When I start opening up my struggles or issues to my mother she’d shift the topic on how she got it worse and how she struggled also but never complained. It’s like talking to a very self absorbed person.
@MBlto2 жыл бұрын
it honestly feels like banging your fist against a wall without ever breaking it. it's too much sometimes.
@Bobo-Nose2 жыл бұрын
Well that's because she *is* self-absorbed.
@raidazaman28732 жыл бұрын
You can never tell them anything
@ananyauniyal53172 жыл бұрын
Completely relatable....I used to feel that I was weak and I was suffering cause it was my fault
@dingdring63172 жыл бұрын
Literally this. I remember being bullied so badly in middle school and when I would cry to my mother she would divert the conversation towards how bad her childhood was.. I don't miss her.
@agluvbot23953 жыл бұрын
My mom will literally make me cry if I have a different opinion than her
@shraddhawatwe74933 жыл бұрын
I feel you
@helloooo67593 жыл бұрын
don't worry, you're not alone
@jesuscarrillo93893 жыл бұрын
Can relate to that.
@niveditaaaaaa3 жыл бұрын
omg true
@angelacavon40733 жыл бұрын
Nah my brother does that. My brother is as picking on me cause I had a different opinion then my mom was defending him and said her own opinion that my brother agreed to then they both started picking on me and gave me this unbearable head ache 😒 I punched my brother on his arm to make him stop wasn’t there hard cause my mom “loves him” he’s like her favorite then he punched me harder 😒 felt like it left a mark he could’ve seriously hurt me cause he’s stronger I just wanna punch him on the mouth though 😭😭😭
@Heyamoto Жыл бұрын
I grew up with a narcissistic mother, and this video 100% explains exactly what I had to go through. Getting far away from her was the best solution for me and my siblings to start recovering mentally. For people who don’t understand, this video is a great resource to explain
@cradica5 ай бұрын
I did too. Well, she's good overall, but my mom is way too controlling when she's mad. She'll manipulate me and try to make me stay a kid for longer
@Talkinglife4 жыл бұрын
signs you might have a 'narcissistic' mother: She wants to control you. ... She can't or won't validate your feelings. ... Her love is conditional. ... She belittles you. ... She tries to manipulate you. ... She thinks she is above the rules. ... She is unpredictable. ... It's all about how things loo
@Aldrin25024 жыл бұрын
And she belittle and she underestimate you.
@Psych2go4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing. Did any of these signs ring a bell?
@chirpy43974 жыл бұрын
@@Psych2go my mother controls me, love is conditional, she thinks she’s above the rules and most definitely manipulates me
@shrenalforever21354 жыл бұрын
@@Psych2go What to do....that's all in my mother. ...how can I get things normal? I WANNA BE LIKE OTHER CHILDREN, NOT CAGED ANYMORE! !!!
@shrenalforever21354 жыл бұрын
@@Psych2go Please help!
@deverene83 жыл бұрын
My mother was narcissistic all the way, as far back as I can remember. She played with our emotions and made our lives a living hell. She died a couple years ago & we didn’t talk for 6 years before she passed. I don’t miss her at all, I actually felt relieved when she passed. I hope I don’t seem like cold hearted but I can’t help it.
@ottoyisanoba59023 жыл бұрын
Is that a picture of you and your parents?
@deverene83 жыл бұрын
I’m on the left, my granddaughter, my husband
@ottoyisanoba59023 жыл бұрын
@@deverene8 oh I see...I thought that was ur mom
@deverene83 жыл бұрын
I don't have any photos of her to share.
@staceypacker77013 жыл бұрын
Don't feel bad for feeling relief, I know what you mean.
@greybeardthawise11212 жыл бұрын
My mom hits all 10 of these...SPOT ON!!! But luckily for me I escaped the emotional trauma...My mom and Dad were divorced and my Dad ended up giving me the love and support I needed. We are TIGHT to this day. Love you Dad
@kefuwe__2 жыл бұрын
Aww, so glad for you. ☺️ Everyone deserves love 💐
@ranasalehi69672 жыл бұрын
You are so lucky to have such a father. My father used us as shields and he was coming to us to ask for help and protection from our abusive narcissistic mother! As a 42 year old I still struggle with my emotions.
@traceymurrell27122 жыл бұрын
Lucky you my dad was a child molester and mom a narcisst
@greybeardthawise11212 жыл бұрын
@@traceymurrell2712 I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you keep your head up the best way you can. ❤️
@Kcv22 жыл бұрын
This is my situation, I am 9 months away from being free, sadly I am stuck living with my mom only seeing my dad bi-weekly but he is getting me through with what little will I have left
@ShadowMetalBowser64 Жыл бұрын
My wife and I just watched this video, and I seriously wanted to cry. My mother is indeed a control freak who sees me as an extension of her own, and she used to scream at me a lot, and she even hit me until I was 10 years old. So I did what she told me because I feared she would scream at me. I also feel like her love is conditional, as in she'd love me only if I did what she expects me to do. Furthermore, ever since I began my relationship with my wife, my mother never saw our relationship in a positive light, and we kept distance from her. Moreover, she acts like nothing is her fault. She wants me all to herself and she always tried to destroy my relationship with my wife. She even threatened to boycott our wedding and she even tried to ruin it. We eventually had no choice but to block her in all sorts of media. I've never encountered anyone so manipulative like my mother. I seriously feel like I don't have a mother anymore. When I was 14 years old, I even considered committing suicide because of her constant screaming because I got a score of 77 in an exam.
@Benni7774 жыл бұрын
I’m praying for anyone who has a narcissist in their close relationships, no matter if it’s a mom, dad, sibling, grandparents or friends. 🙏🏻
@tayonniegranberry56754 жыл бұрын
Thank you, it’s a struggle😔
@shamimmangloremanglore93734 жыл бұрын
Thanku so much.... ❤❤ bro
@phumzilekhalo69463 жыл бұрын
🕯️❤️
@itumelengmokoena95123 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@yellowenn3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@Puddleface4 жыл бұрын
My grandmother is a narcissist and I’ll never understand how strong my mom must have been before she finally left our house. My mom gives me and my sister so much love ❤️
@isisjanineoliveira77524 жыл бұрын
Same thing here!
@hyo_unbf4 жыл бұрын
Lucky, I fucking hate my mom AND dad 🤡
@shamimmangloremanglore93734 жыл бұрын
Bcoz she knows how it feels to be a child of a narco ❤
@BraydenDarrell3 жыл бұрын
My mon was like that And then became what she hated
@plutonianenigma87243 жыл бұрын
My life story. Literally the most draining person in my life. Traumatizing
@eileencornacchia86193 жыл бұрын
Agreed. At least we did not inherit the syndrome.
@plutonianenigma87243 жыл бұрын
@@eileencornacchia8619 we undo it too. Deprogramming. It would be the worst to be like that person
@kassandrarobles14503 жыл бұрын
Same it’s exhausting I’m tired … just push through gif myself tho❤️
@aanwary2 жыл бұрын
Braaa. Exhausting AF
@alliejung86662 жыл бұрын
I know the feeling man. It's honestly torture
@nirmithapatila2005 Жыл бұрын
Good luck for everyone who had got this type of mother, you guys are great warriors because it needs a lot of courage to live with this type of mother because I'm one of the victim having this type of mother.😢
@xabban16b11 күн бұрын
thanks❤
@dylanfrancis26893 жыл бұрын
I’m 23 years old, haven’t talked to my mom in years. I cried when I watched this.
@rudy58653 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry Dylan…I definitely know how you feel. Virtual hugs my brother…
@Fsislivee3 жыл бұрын
22 and this is my last trip to see her. I screwed up. She wants to lock me up. She wants to kick me out. She is doing insane things permitting I’m down here to visit and a guest. I don’t get it. I don’t get why she can’t just see how fucked up she is. How horrible she was to me over all these years. It’s horrible when you go somewhere for vacation and all you do is cry and get told by the person somethings wrong with you, instead of them seeing what they have done to affect you.
@Fsislivee3 жыл бұрын
@dylan I hope things get better. Helped me to see someone else near my age felt the same. Thank you
@samanthavaneeden56013 жыл бұрын
I’m also 23 years old, I’m still going back and forth with het abuse. However I am teaching myself to keep a healthy mental distance from her. Be happy that you are aware of your moms abuse and you cam do something to help yourself at a you g age. Stay positive, we will get out of this
@cclearn9602 жыл бұрын
10 /10
@serenayt9673 жыл бұрын
My mom yells at me and screams at me when I do something wrong, and I dont start arguments with her anymore. But If I ever get the slightest bit of angry at her, she has to make it a huge deal and plays the "I WOULD NEVER TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT" card. It's like I'm not allowed to be angry at her, but she can hate, hurt, and resent me and expect me to be okay.
@seanfraid26753 жыл бұрын
You weren't allowed to feel anger? I wasn't allowed that either, or happiness, or joy,... pride was to be crushed swiftly & thoroughly! The only emo I was allowed to feel was shame.
@ccpr153 жыл бұрын
Both of you are spot on. If I was sad, it was “you have everything you want, you have no right to feel sad”. But if I was happy or excited, then I was being “cocky”. Literally every single emotion is not allowed to be validated. She would only seem understanding if it benefitted her in some way.
@yvonneblackwood71193 жыл бұрын
Now I understand why I always feel guilty.
@hiiii28733 жыл бұрын
If I make the slightest disagreement she changes her tone and starts to look mad and will try to start an argument by saying that she's right and I'm wrong period etc. And if I say anything back she'll huff and puff the whole week and look for anything to blame on me and any reason to take away my electronics and stuff. Or when her husband shows some attention to me, and I dont even like the dude as a human(plus he makes me uncomfortable with his staring and trying to force me to socialise with him, and because he's egotistical), but she'll become more neglectful, jealous, and try to get her husband's attention back by doing weird things like wearing revealing stuff around the house even tho theres children. It's so weird to me.
@hiiii28733 жыл бұрын
@@ccpr15 my family started having family dinners for whatever reason even tho were usually on our devices during them(it seems like them forcing me to be around them to me) and they'd stare at me looking mad because I'm vibing not saying a word to them(but they know I'm not social and we dont get along well) but my brother straight up asked me why I'm smiling at my phone but he looked and sounded upset by it, I was just like "¿?¿" I looked at him but didn't really respond because my nmom did for me saying "shes just smiling" but she also looked like she was mad behind her smile. There was also when my mom accused me of trying to get away from them by eating fast even though they know I've always eaten fast, but they're so paranoid by me. I did start skipping meals to avoid them though.
@mariagabrielagoncalvesmart823 жыл бұрын
I always suspected that there was definitely something wrong in my relationship with my mother and the sad part is that since I was a child I have always thought it was all my fault for some reason, that there are so many things wrong with me. But now that I have grown up a bit and am interested in psychology and constantly learning about these personality disorders, turns out that I have a narcissistic mother who has been the biggest reason behind my self-esteem problems, depression and anxiety. It just feels so bad to know that I was indeed being manipulated and psychologically abused into thinking that I am the only reason for her to be miserable. I really just want to leave this house.
@SCH2923 жыл бұрын
For me I didn't fully research and learn what the term "narcissist" meaning till LOCKDOWN. I always heard the term narcissist but never look it up. My mom is great at playing victim, gaslighting, starting drama, talking shit behind your back and etc etc etc. I just hope I get rich off from cryptocurrency investing and move out of the house.
@hilarypower62172 жыл бұрын
I can't find the words to say how sorry I feel for both of us x You are valued - just reading this has helped me. Please get away from her, and live the rich and full life you deserve xx
@Mia112232 жыл бұрын
Exactly. Its always the false guilt that is the worst part. Even though she is the one who is wrong you'll always feel as if it's you or that you're being rude and not thankful enough of them. It makes you feel like you're the bad person whose trying to blame your own problems on her
@geraldraczkowski90922 жыл бұрын
@@Mia11223 the guilt thing is real. But it's not fair to you
@user-xi8ge3sj1d2 жыл бұрын
I also thought that there was something wrong since I have a strong sense of self and didn’t let her take me down, I usually found weird patterns in her behaviour. But coming across stuff like this makes me usually wonder wether or not I am overthinking it or they really are like that (narcassistic).
@alicelucy1333 Жыл бұрын
With my mum the abuse wasn't obvious it was subtle. She'd put me down inside the home, insult me and hit me. But outside the home in public she'd tell everyone how proud she was of me. That's how no one ever saw what she was like. If ever I spoke out about the abuse to other members of my community she'd say 'Alice misunderstands' or 'she doesn't think I'm the normal way'. She did this to hide the fact she was abusive. No one in my community ever believed me and thought that it was just average mother and daughter disagreements. I've broken away from that community now and am trying desperately to break away from her but it's hard when I've been in an abusive codependent relationship for so long.
@7Write4This9Heart710 ай бұрын
MOOOOOD!
@mattcorriveau64158 ай бұрын
My mother acted exactly the same way you described yours did. It was all about appearances at all times. Even when I was I young kid, I wasn't allowed to get upset or even cry at all in public or I would catch so much hell as soon as we were alone in the car on the way home. It was so bad growing up that I adapted to just be a "happy" kid all the time and bury my actual emotions. I'm 38 now and I'm literally just now starting to figure out how to actually express my emotions in a healthy way without bottling them all up for years until they got too much and I would explode. Then after an episode of the emotions finally exploding out all at once I would go right back to holding them in again.
@cindyschuhmacher7094 ай бұрын
@mattcorriveau6415 my sister treated her daughter the exact same way. No one ever believed the daughter. The moms lies destroyed the daughter. The truth would have destroyed the mom. 😢
@marisaweiss99203 жыл бұрын
Was raised in the evangelical Christian church, was always taught “respect thy mother and father”. Grew up and realized, respect is earned.
@obliemoi12 жыл бұрын
I was raised by a catholic narcissistic mother and would hear the same thing whenever I tried to express how she was hurting me or whenever I tried to cut contact.
@Grumpytank592 жыл бұрын
63 years and this is my struggle! Among many others as I am sure you know
@sarahb65292 жыл бұрын
Respect is given freely to all. Keeping it through action is how it is sustained.
@neffelie72112 жыл бұрын
The funny thing is, that the Bible says "honor" not "respect". And honoring your parents is very dif than respecting them, just because they are your parents. Honoring your parents means that you are a good person and and a good member of society, therefore making your parents proud. ...It's really a big talk lol
@sheepssleepwhileyoustare30832 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@BarbieCharlie3 жыл бұрын
This really hits home. My mother was abusive and now I know she's also a narcissist. My own therapist told me to cut her off she was only continuing to bring me pain. Crazy
@tundrawomansays50673 жыл бұрын
So if you won’t listen to your therapist who clearly has heard you, who are ya gonna listen to? Your “lying” Eyes?! Your lifetime of experience with her?! *RUN NOW.* Otherwise, you are looking into the indefinite future of your same past experiences and leaving your decision up to the vagaries of medical science, an opportunity for an “unfortunate accident” (ahem, not gonna happen) and her DNA. These people become the wrinkled poster children for “Only the good die young.” They hang around to harass and harangue their adult kids and live wwwaaayyyyy past human decency (not that they ever had a modicum of such) and their Expiration Dates. They don’t smell any better, look any better or become any less hazardous to your health than the expired food in your kitchen. Life was never meant that be a Life Sentence.
@eileencornacchia86193 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@eileencornacchia86193 жыл бұрын
@@tundrawomansays5067 mine sadly lived to 96.
@helenkimber64383 жыл бұрын
My therapist gave me the same advice. It's good advise.
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
She would always make us feel guilty. I would leave her as soon i had a better job and place for my own. i know is very hard when we still struggle to depends on her or another narcissistic family because financial T_T. Be strong sis. You're not the only one.
@haya37463 жыл бұрын
3 mins in and I can’t stop myself from crying.. I hope y’all are okay 🤍 it’s hard, but you’re not alone.
@vvvvel3 жыл бұрын
Didn't even know until someone said something about certain type of personality disorder that fit her(my mother) like a glove lol.
@freddiepiras3912 жыл бұрын
Hi. Are you ok?
@ravinark7796 Жыл бұрын
I m dealing with it.. My mother always use to say me that i should die..she always insults me in front of others ..i have been through it.. Thanks for the video..
@dejiavuferguson76682 жыл бұрын
I cringe when my mom tries to hug me. And for a long time I didn’t understand until I read the comments and watched this video! Thank you!
@lilmissenigma2 жыл бұрын
My mum cringes when I hug her, one day I hugged her and told her I loved her and said go on, she said what? I said tell me you love me and she replied I love you but I don’t always like you. This was when we were having a good day.
@yazblugalarza Жыл бұрын
YES. it feels fake and forced. so uncomfortable
@Youtubeknowwho Жыл бұрын
Yes and I’m a similar vein, since I have grown up, my mom wants to be friends with me now. Like the Gilmore Girls. It gives me a literal feeling of disgust… how can I be friends with you now when you deprived me of love or any sort of human connection when I was under your care? It’s like she doesn’t know what she did to me. Or she wants both of us to forget it, or something. It grosses me out.
@wendi-bnkywuv Жыл бұрын
Hell, I've outright bitten her a time or two for trying, even when i was too young to "realize" what was going on!
@Dean_Cohen2y5 Жыл бұрын
Yeah. Knowing how hateful she really is towards me…I literally HATE IT when she wants a hug. I pretty much just stand there like a board when she wants a hug. Then she hugs me. I hate it so much.
@dzeren_71513 жыл бұрын
My mother used me as her trophy daughter for years. She showed off all my achievements cause it made her look good and when I stopped being good enough for her she tossed me away and neglected me. She encourages me to be better only because it reflects good on her not because it may benefit me. She terrifies me a lot. I'm scared to tell her anything because idk how she'd react. And when she gives me love, it confuses me because idk what she wants from me. She also uses her love as reward. No matter how much she abuses me I still want her to love me but it gets exhausting.
@nikolakalejova54203 жыл бұрын
Aww I understand that 😢 you are not alone
@jaige953 жыл бұрын
You're not alone. Praying that you find strength and someone to lean on who really cares. It takes time to overcome these things and find the grace not to hate our moms but to forgive because they too are damaged like us. Peace and love to you🙏🏿
@delicoussoonheng17103 жыл бұрын
Tell your mom she is a trash because she is nothing without your achievement, parents don't have the right to show off their children's achievement because it is not them who achieved it
@IkramIkram-gm3zg3 жыл бұрын
I understand u :( , now I'm even more surprised when she gave me a bit of love than when she stops talking to me, I get used for the second one
@kimcheese77343 жыл бұрын
I feel like I don't want to hate her but loving her isn't healthy
@gas1323 жыл бұрын
"do you relate to any of these signs?" no, I don't I relate to EVERY of these signs
@vampirepaula3 жыл бұрын
Same 😞
@emillyqueiroz71223 жыл бұрын
same...
@chibi51803 жыл бұрын
Same. But we‘re not alone 🌻
@marseillagayles12783 жыл бұрын
literally
@haiji_morie84163 жыл бұрын
Damn to the people who didn't grow or develop for their kids even after years
@georgebozhidarov4067 Жыл бұрын
Growing up I was always told that’s her personality and I should accept her as she is, but I always thought there’s something abnormal about her. Unpredictable mood swings, violent and devastating rants, no accountability ever, gaslighting, control mania… Then I heard the word “narcissist” being tossed around so I googled the disorder out of curiosity. I was stunned as I began to realise my mother was ticking all of the boxes that comprise an NPD. It was certainly one of the most empowering days in my life. Finally, my experience and point of view was validated. There was indeed pathology behind, and I had indeed been treated unfair. And no, my mom and I hadn’t suffered from personality and ego clashes as I had always been told growing up. Rather, I was a victim of textbook narcissist abuse. I grew up insecure, with a lot of pain and prone to depression but the knowledge that my feelings were valid triggered my healing process.
@johns94784 жыл бұрын
I'm 23 years old and just moved back in with my mom after moving away for a couple of years for a job. She tells me that she's scared that I'll try to "run away" again. I didn't have it in me to tell her, for fear of what she might do or say, but I couldn't help but think, I'm an adult now. At this point in my life, if I have better career opportunities elsewhere, it's not "running away from home," it's just called moving out.
@sisulex204 жыл бұрын
I had the exact same situation, I moved away at 21 and moved back home at 23 and she continues to tell me she’s also scared I’ll leave and run away again. So not healthy.
@johnnoreau35704 жыл бұрын
Mine used to cry dramatically over children’s movies then tell me she doesn’t want me to go. I know how my mom is so have no problem being stern with her as I’ve endured her bs for years. I simply told her. It’s normal you’re upset. Your oldest son is leaving home. However, you no longer have any say over what I choose to do with my life. You may be my parent but I’m old enough to dictate my life now.
@cameronf33434 жыл бұрын
I sincerely feel ya there. 21 now but was newly 20 at the time, I spent my whole life hearing my mom tell me she wants me out every two weeks, and then when I tried to actually grow up and move out before my job offer 2 hours away got cancelled because of COVID, she spent 7 hours volatile going back and forth from crying “I don’t get why you want away from me so much” to “I’m glad you’re getting out.” before just going to full time “I’m glad you’re getting out” mentality for the next week before the call came in.
@katpurfect25924 жыл бұрын
Move out, don't ket her destroy u.
@lavonnealexander69364 жыл бұрын
I never moved out of my mom’s house but my advice is to move out as quickly as possible. If you don’t, she will be manipulate you into staying. I have been trying to leave my mothers house for while now. I am trying everything possible to get away, I don’t like staying in this house with her.
@saulothebebop25812 жыл бұрын
I confronted my mom once about her behaviour and she was like: "of course i love you, i give you food and drive you to school dont i?"
@lilmissenigma2 жыл бұрын
I’m 44 and in recent arguments my mum keeps throwing in my face that she drove me to school. Most the time I caught the bus but anyway , isn’t that her job lol
@myvettebeauty2 жыл бұрын
Similar but more so gaslighting that things never happened. I’m on my spiritual healing journey and learning most will never take accountability.
@lilmissenigma2 жыл бұрын
@interracialkiss2023 my mum is overweight but comments on mine or offers me $100 per kg I lose. Yea F off mum.
@lilmissenigma2 жыл бұрын
@danicali IKR like it’s literally the bare minimum requirement to be a parent lol. Do they think we should give them a medal? Lol
@williammitchell9974 Жыл бұрын
These So Called Mothers Are No More Than Loveless Articles,Closely Followed Be Psuedo Intellectuals 💯Please All Take Care👍Dr Les Carter ( A Very Fine Human Being) Explains All On Utube💯We Live Once More ❤
@mariejost96993 жыл бұрын
10 for 10! Yep, she’s a narcissist. One upshot of having a narcissistic mother is that I decided never to have children. I refuse to put another human-being through what I have gone through with such a mother. It made me unable to have a normal relationship with anyone. Codependency characterized all of my relationships until my late 40s. It has taken me over 50 years to heal from having a narcissistic mother and be able to move on and have healthy relationships and make peace with myself and my past. I can’t say that I love my mother, but I do have a great deal of compassion for her. She has lived an unhappy life of anger, entitlement, and victimhood. She is 87, so I don’t expect her to ever change. What a long time to carry the burden of being an unexamined narcissist.
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
The only way to had change is herself, because is like a root. Maybe we could pull out our line but not her.
@venicebitch53683 жыл бұрын
So true, even though i hated my mother and how she screwed me. I became just like her. I will never have kids so this torture will end
@Brooke-bl3yq2 жыл бұрын
DID she have a narcissistic parent? This goes on for generations. Facing it in our lives is so sad, it's all sad. Hang in there, realizing it for what it is, is the first step. I have so many narcs in my family (both sides) that i get dizzy evaluating it all....i am in my 60's and feel so many wasted years now.
@bethebong2 жыл бұрын
Omg maybe that's why I haven't even considered having children. Anger, entitlement, and victimhood are my mother's qualities for sure! It's overwhelming and exhausting. I wouldn't want to introduce my child to the type of person she is.
@naomialicenature75142 жыл бұрын
Omg same! I literally do not want children because I cannot even chance putting them through anything I went through.
@blasphemygalaxy8 ай бұрын
related to every single one of them. my mother is a narcissist and i’ve begged her for the last decade to go to therapy. she has never once made me feel like she was listening. she’ll never change and the more i discover about her the more i see our relationship as unredeemable. i’m going to move away and never speak to her again the second i’m able to
@333whiteraven3 жыл бұрын
16 years of freedom. I walked away from my mother when I was 18 and have never looked back. She has every one of these traits and went ballistic and violent when I took control of my own life.
@oleratomoile94803 жыл бұрын
@Raven486 how did u do it...plz give me some tips
@andapaegle22073 жыл бұрын
I did exactly the same! I literally run away from home as soon as I turned 18.She didn’t expect it and she thought I will stay with her from fear but I took control of my life finally! After 10 years with no contact,She tried to manipulate her way in but I didn’t fall for her mind games.I instantly recognised her toxic ways ,she even started to fake cry and put herself in victim position and started to tell stories which are not real!I told her that I’m not a little child anymore that she can trick anymore and she suddenly changed from fake crying to raging animal and calling me names!It was the last straw !I’m finally relieved that she is out of my life and I WILL NEVER allow her to get in any contact with me or through my family members.
@amogus2053 жыл бұрын
I’m about to cut ties, I’m just so afraid of what she’ll do and how she’ll guilt trip me. I know that- very possibly she’ll try and “disown” me, as she threatened to do so many times. But in actuality it is I who is disowning her.
@karolinagrunberg47723 жыл бұрын
How did you stay grounded in yourself? I tried and kept and keep going back. :(
@333whiteraven3 жыл бұрын
@@oleratomoile9480 I studied psychology in high school and college and saw through every toxic tactic. Honestly, the more she tried, the more determined I became in my choice. My greatest advice to you is to tell everyone you know how she treats you and get proof if possible. She played victim and manipulated every friend and family member I had. Only the ones who knew my side first or witnessed her mental illness first hand believed me and remained in my life. I was forced to cut ties with anyone she could manipulate.
@Anonymous-ql9yd3 жыл бұрын
It's so hard honestly. Like in front of people they be like mother of the year. But otherwise they are so different. As they wear a mask, the society never listens to you or tries to understand you.
@CandaceNDiaye2 жыл бұрын
YES!!! The Jekyll and Hyde bs wears. Me. Out. Everything is for show. I swear , the woman is why I have trust issues.
@hilarypower62172 жыл бұрын
Everyone used to say what a truly good mother I had, and that I was an ungrateful child.
@bonnietaylor73842 жыл бұрын
Ugh God yeah, means all my friends thought I was a lier/attention seeker when I literally just needed someone to talk to as a kid
@Dianaa_81772 жыл бұрын
Yes! Thanks so much for saying so, feeling validated. 🙃
@Solly-ow4od3 жыл бұрын
At 37 I’ve come to the realization that all my life my mother has manipulated me. I was never allowed to have problems, feel heartbreak and pain.....her problems were always greater than mine and thrown in my face. Always pitted against my father, my aunts and cousins. Constantly being told “your all I have”.......the list goes on.
@AK-pi4lr2 жыл бұрын
At 39 I totally understand it was the same way for me . If something or someone genuinely hurt me I was being weak if I cried or complained, but she on the other hand can cry watching a movie that’s not even a true story and I’m supposed to sympathize with her
@mohit13992 жыл бұрын
Same for me always pitted against my dad he isn't a saint but she isn't also but he never tried to turn me on my mom.
@VauveAnais2 жыл бұрын
Same!!
@Solly-ow4od2 жыл бұрын
@@mohit1399 Same for me. He did a lot of damage to me too but never ever tried to turn me against anyone else.
@Solly-ow4od2 жыл бұрын
@@AK-pi4lr Yep, and I remember being forced to sit and watch movies with her.....movies I had no interest in. Then being made to feel guilty for not getting into them like her.
@TNZKN Жыл бұрын
I was around 28-29 yrs of age when i found a strong interest in psychology. Up until that point i thought i had somewhat of a best parents (especially mom, im from former soviet country so the bar is not high anyway) ever and all my failures were totally my own doing. My whole world collapsed when i dove deep into personality disorders and their effects on children. Everything suddenly made sense and i found out that my mother is a perfect textbook example of multiple disorders but she masked them so freakin good. Before confronting my mother, i discussed the topic with other relatives and they thought i was downright insane for thinking that way. After confronting my mother about numerous mistakes made from her side, she just pulled up a major panic attack (it was more like hysteria tho) and blamed me for everything that has happened to her... it felt like i was responsible for things that she did well before i was born. I tried to help her over few years but it had ZERO effect, always ended up with fights. Luckily i started working in different countries since early 20.-s so i didn't have any problem with independency and i just relocated to another country and ghosted most of my family and it was the best decision ever. It still hurts when she tries to contact and pretend to care but all she eventually does is just complaining about everything and not even caring how I'm doing. So yeah.... you need to get away from parents like these, its freakin sad but once you educate yourself on the symptoms and recognise them immediately, it gets easier.
@jamesli58237 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. Your story sounds like mine lol.
@blankfaceman96943 жыл бұрын
Everytime I bring up something I'm having an issue or problem she always figures a way to bring it back to how I'm a bad kid or I disrespect her.
@ccpr153 жыл бұрын
Yes!!!
@SKhan-ss4mj3 жыл бұрын
Exactly! It happens with me too... She even not allow me to express my feelings.. Whenevershe notice my sad or angry mood she becomes angry and start scolding or yelling me with horrible things and at last she tell me that "keep smiling, because wen u smile it it makes me smile" At first I thought how how nice and warm my mom is.. But she is not.. Everyone is allowed to express their feelings but i am not, so whenever I have to cry i go to basement... 😔
@blankfaceman96943 жыл бұрын
@@SKhan-ss4mj hey bro. I know how you feel. I grew up with parents like that. Just know what your mom's doing isn't right. She's supposed to be your emotional support. Not the other way around. You shouldn't have to fake happy for her when you're not. Just know man it's alright to not be happy and be mad or sad sometimes. They're human emotions and they're not wrong. They happen and it's ok to express it. No one should make you feel bad for having them. Especially not your mother. Keep your head up friend. 💯💯Just keep goin and I promise it'll get better. Just persevere and just know It's alright to cry😔 we all do it sometimes
@SKhan-ss4mj3 жыл бұрын
@@blankfaceman9694 thank you so much.. I always wanted emotional support but I never got but now I am feeling like I am not alone 😢... Thanks bro..
@blankfaceman96943 жыл бұрын
@@SKhan-ss4mj anytime man!
@rudy58652 жыл бұрын
It’s Mother’s Day today and coming back to this video gives me so much closure that I can go through the day without feeling bad inside. My narcissistic mum called and I am yet to call her back. To all of us who are in this predicament….we will be alright.
@whatsqualia2 жыл бұрын
Yay! me too! lets go. I just cut her off and now she's trying to confront my dad bc he told me she punched him in the face too, and she says it's all lies hahaha. I can't believe how absurd this gets without her realizing it.
@sophieunusual2 жыл бұрын
You always have a choice to not call back 🙌 It’s okay to keep distance from harmful influences even your own mother. You did not pick to have her, but she picked to have you. You can choose not to respond. 💗 I have a firm boundary with my mother and her parents who are enablers of her behavior because it’s harmful to my health and my family’s health. And that, I will not sacrifice for them.
@gretchenhoseit12672 жыл бұрын
This my whole life..
@freddiepiras3912 жыл бұрын
I also felt guilty and bad
@jojotu9062 жыл бұрын
if you call your narcisstic mum back, she will definitely sob over how you don't care about her. That other children call their mothers on Mothers Day no matter what happens. Mines would definitely say, how hard she raised me when I was young ... etc.
@TemporaryParticipant2 жыл бұрын
Who else's mom used to say things like "You can always come to me, I'm here for you", then get incredibly mad and/or beat you almost senseless when you actually came to them with a problem she didn't like?
@tiaryzi8853 Жыл бұрын
Omg my mum is like this then she’ll try to blame it on my friends or me siding with other people. Well she doesn’t exactly beat me but she’ll use guilt tripping words to make me not do what I want.
@Cloudnine422 Жыл бұрын
Yep that’s both my parents I can’t go to them and when i do they show extreme rage towards a tiny stupid situation and i’m in my 30s and still get anxious and scared to think they knew of something wrong i did 😑
@Cloudnine422 Жыл бұрын
@@tiaryzi8853 my mom sides with random people against me 🫠 i’m always the one at fault according to her imagine how draining and traumatizing this can be
@tiaryzi8853 Жыл бұрын
@@Cloudnine422 yeah I’m sorry for you buddy! Keep staying strong!
@DominionMovementDotOrg Жыл бұрын
that’s what mine says word for word. if i take the bait, she then says she doesn’t want me to talk to her, even hanging up or leaving in a huff, weaponizes any information, engages in lots of gaslighting, etc.
@SDE12592 ай бұрын
I remember when I told my mom about something mentally I have been through and she said ok and walked out my room after that she start telling everyone about the mental thing I have been through and they all laughed about me like it’s some joke the funny thing they still laughing about my feelings after 4 years what a wonderful toxic happy family.
@jordanbrown62533 жыл бұрын
I have to set my boundaries by just walking away. If I address any of her behaviour she takes it as a personal offense and walks around playing the victim.
@amandab93033 жыл бұрын
I would try to do that and get screamed at for walking away, only to come back and get screamed at more for whatever stupid thing she was mad about that day. Nothing I ever did made her happy, and it physically pained me to not care as much as I used to.
@SKhan-ss4mj3 жыл бұрын
Exactly😔 I can feel u..
@marcusbradford91773 жыл бұрын
Yep! Totally relate!!!
@helloooo67593 жыл бұрын
I do that too, but then she runs at me and shouts at me saying she was mid-conversation..
@angelacavon40733 жыл бұрын
@@amandab9303 oh yeah and if I twist her words around and made her frustrated she calls my dad to “physically” abuse me 😒 he doesn’t beat me up he just slammed me against the wall and kicked me on the legs
@katkat49864 жыл бұрын
"I'll move to your house when you get married so I'll take care of your children." No way...
@Kwood103 жыл бұрын
But she took care of you
@katkat49863 жыл бұрын
@@Kwood10 when it benefits her and abused me when it pleases her
@lesanimaux44163 жыл бұрын
I got "you can have the entire upper floor and live there while you take care of us"
@shrijahermansson3 жыл бұрын
Ya like wtf
@miragaiamaia89663 жыл бұрын
@@lesanimaux4416 i got that too! the result is that i didn't have any children and she doesn't even knock on my room´s door to come in...
@하나-q7h4 жыл бұрын
Quarantine has definitely let me reflect on my family and how they treat me, especially how my mother treats me. This video came at the right time haha
@jasminekithithee99413 күн бұрын
Yes when MY boyfriend, died, I remember telling her how much I missed him. She then tells me “jasmine I think we all miss him” in a tone that disregarded MY feelings at that time. I just wanted a hug.
@NYricanMinded3 жыл бұрын
In my late forties my mother was upset that I didn't want to follow her wishes. She said: " Tell my grandkids that grandma isn't buying them Christmas presents because their mommy misbehaved." My kids are teenagers who saw my mother twice in their entire lives and I was menopausal. She was so out of touch with reality. Using my kids as pawns was the last straw and so I decided to hang up on her, and she never called back; that was about four years ago.
@tundrawomansays50673 жыл бұрын
Dear. Friggin. Gawd. *Are you hangers on of a younger age paying attention to this comment?* Please do: I expounded on this phenomena in one of my responses above. Congrats, Ms, Yanes! WOOT!
@eileencornacchia86193 жыл бұрын
You are lucky.
@PurplePinkRed3 жыл бұрын
This is the only way to deal with narcs: No contact! If you can go no contact, please do. I can't sadly due to finances but when my finances were good, I was away from it. Very freeing.
@Brooke-bl3yq2 жыл бұрын
my out of control narc sister used my grandkids and daughter as pawns this past christmas....i also have a narc mother. I feel your pain. The best remedy is DISTANCE and lots of it !! Good wishes to you.
@RojitaCali2 жыл бұрын
Yep. My mom would do the same thing. Talk about me to my children and one of them would come back and tell me everything she said. I confronted her and she denied it, of course. I told her if she continued this type of behavior she would no longer be allowed in our lives. It took a few times but she finally stopped doing it. Now? Things have improved, but her energy, her negativity… literally sucks the life out of me. The fact that I’m an empath makes it 10 times worse.
@lovesbriardi Жыл бұрын
I'm nearly 81 and my mother has long passed so I simply watched this out of curiosity since I have wondered. She is a solid 7/10 with mild action in all 10. So, yeah now I fully understand her. Thanks.
@michelleenicker2774 Жыл бұрын
I'm curious to know how you felt when she passed.
@bubblyblossom94338 ай бұрын
Me too…
@hilarypower62172 жыл бұрын
I'm 66 and I always knew that my mother was different from other mothers. It is only in recent years that I've heard about narcissism, and this video has described almost all of her behaviours. It is only now looking back that I understand how my mother's treatment of me led me not to become e the authentic me. Even now I have difficulty having opinions as I don't know whether they're 'right' or not. I often let my children know that my love is completely unconditional. That was all I wanted throughout my life (she was still tormenting me up to the time she died aged 98). Look after yourselves and get help to cope with this.
@kefuwe__2 жыл бұрын
🥺 So sorry you went through something like that
@esterhudson5104 Жыл бұрын
@Warpig you narcissist…
@hilarypower6217 Жыл бұрын
@Noelkreiss386 because I'm British and we spell words such as colour, plough and licence correctly LOL
@debdenmark1 Жыл бұрын
I am from your era Sis. I know how you feel. Along with having a narcissistic mom I was also bullied at school when I tried to tell her about she said that I didn't need friends and she was all I needed. Well that's when I learned that I couldn't trust her emotionally. I suffered a lot from people but I learned early that I had no refuge in her, my parent...now I know why...
@hilarypower6217 Жыл бұрын
@@debdenmark1 Your experience seems so similar to mine. I was also badly bullied at school, but no-one seemed to notice. My mother just told me it was because I was better than they were!
@rideoutpoppy8252 Жыл бұрын
I just recently learned that mother is a narcissistic or has this as a personality disorder. Growing up, she displayed all of these traits. She has been going to therapy the last few years and shes a bit better but her traits still shine through. I like to try and look at her conditions growing up and think what couldve made her turn out that way. I think she's likely copying off of the way her mother treated her and just passed it down to me. My grandmother is totally different now, because of her mother treating her the same way. Generational traumas are a real thing and my mission is to have it stop with me.
@meddinaheeleen7618 Жыл бұрын
Great mission. I wish you all the best.
@rideoutpoppy8252 Жыл бұрын
@@meddinaheeleen7618 thank you.
@Pookiebear17748 ай бұрын
same literally 😭😭😭
@KukrejaAnamika4 жыл бұрын
Wow. This really hits home for me. All of you here who didn't feel a mum's love growing up - here's a virtual hug for you. You don't deserve it. Even if she tries to make you feel like you do.
@salazar5563 жыл бұрын
My mom would put me down for crying in public because of her. She also always disregarded my issues and made everything focus back on her. She was always the victim in the end. She never truly listened to my feelings and my mental health. It was always "toughen up".
@celestewest27853 жыл бұрын
Wow this is what I always tell her and she disregards my emotions and issues that I’ve been through as a child and into my adult life because of her, tells me I am crazy and she always has been a good parent that I am a liar for saying these horrible lies about her and she is the victim that she’s been through a lot. 🙄
@elizabethf90963 жыл бұрын
mine too "why are u so sensitive? " it's some screwed up evil sh..
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
Did you had ever experience when your mom embarras or shouting on you in front of public 😭?. That's really hurt.
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
@@celestewest2785 Yeah we never good for her.
@cherie4665Ай бұрын
My narc mom loves complaining about me to my relatives, and she doesn't even try to hide it. She will say really mean things to us and justify it by saying "I'm only telling you this for your own good", "I'm telling you off only because I care; outsiders will not point out your flaws like your family does" She messed up my perception of right and wrong. I no longer talk to her.
@DefenderofTruth.2 жыл бұрын
My mother is a narcissist. She is jealous of me. And everything she says is negative 80% of the time. Even if you say something about something she did that's a fact she'll get mad and not want to hear her own actions. If she is in a bad mood she will take it out on you. She always hops in when me and my siblings are conversing. It's so sad. Like sometimes I don't understand why God let her be my parent.
@jgriffin2822 жыл бұрын
I have heard people who have had NDE’s say that we choose our parents before we are born into this world. Why would that be? To experience the difficulty and emotional abuse of a narcissistic mother?
@kayblessed1232 жыл бұрын
It's sad, I really feel your pains Faith. It's even more painful when you don't have any mature and understanding person to talk to because everyone would side with your mother and may even rebuke you and develop a negative perception about you.
@DefenderofTruth.2 жыл бұрын
@@kayblessed123 facts yes you understand completely ❗❗❗ smh happy I have people who can relate on this app.
@tammysxox2 жыл бұрын
I'm very sorry to hear about this. I have the same problem with my mother. It's like she's always hated me. Or wants me to be around her to be soaked in negativity. Goes on a rant for hours about the same negative things or people (which is almost everyday). She's angry at me, if I have a partner but with my older siblings, she's always treated her better. I honestly agree with your comment so much as we must put up with the same. I had to cut her off because she just full of negativity and anger and hate. Only happy with men around and then she's angry again. It's a tough and sad situation. I hope things get better for you.
@DefenderofTruth.2 жыл бұрын
@@tammysxox I hope things get better for you too. I just know what not to be like for my kids .
@yn4264 жыл бұрын
Ur literally the most sensible calm person I've met
@Psych2go4 жыл бұрын
Thank you :)
@yn4264 жыл бұрын
Np I rly want to meet u irl but I think I'd be to young
@YouTubeaccountj4 жыл бұрын
Such a soft calming voice
@lexz32574 жыл бұрын
It’s not one person it’s a whole team.
@soup_artist67484 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@123mmrrkk3 жыл бұрын
literally laughing at all of these cause they’re so relatable , I thought this was normal
@nowaynowau3 жыл бұрын
I did too. But now I'm older and I realize that, not only is she a narc, but that she has used my family members as flying monkeys. It's very lonely sometimes when she turns everyone against me
@flubble24733 жыл бұрын
I was literally about to write a laugh so ye... Same =""" D
@SKhan-ss4mj3 жыл бұрын
@@nowaynowau yesss.... Today I searched about this and its really hard to accept this... CUZ, I love my mom so much... But i gone through most of these signs.. Nd i was so sick of my emotional pain.. It was making me suffocated....
@SKhan-ss4mj3 жыл бұрын
@Ana Sofía Torres it makes me sad 😔
@labeller21823 жыл бұрын
@@SKhan-ss4mj same, it's like i don't want to accept that they're like that
@S369x Жыл бұрын
As a daughter of a narcissistic father, I can perfectly relate to all these signs. Over 10 years ago, my parents divorced and his subsequent behaviour made me convince that I was basically the reason behind their divorce, since I "wasn't able to fulfill their (or better, HIS) expectations". And even after 10 years of therapy, I keep thinking that my parents divorced also because of me. Nowadays, I somehow don't conceive anymore this man as my father, since I felt that he didn't really love me, but rather I see him as a stranger who somehow contributed to my growth... And yet, at 25 years old, I feel as if I had never had a real father
@trwn874 ай бұрын
One year later, did it get better now?
@Lotus1414144 жыл бұрын
My mother threatens to cut off all communication with me when she gets mad. I wish I could move out but I'm unemployed due to covid. I'm sick of the manipulation.
@churchofpos22793 жыл бұрын
My mom made that threat and I took her up on the offer. Cut off all communication with her and it was the best decision , I ever made.
@smokeygotrobbed49093 жыл бұрын
@@churchofpos2279 Congrats man. Hope ya have a great future ahead of yiu
@churchofpos22793 жыл бұрын
@@smokeygotrobbed4909 thanks. It took a lot of stress out of my life.
@ashylarry48673 жыл бұрын
Even when you move out, you have to watch out. Be firm with your boundaries. My mom criticized my brother in law and ripped his confidence to shreds when she stayed to look after the kids. They ended up hiring a nanny, but the damage between my mom and my sister's family was permanent. Not trying to scare you, but just watch out.
@nadiaquinonez80853 жыл бұрын
I think you can! Focus on doing well in school. Get good grades and apply to college.
@waitwhat69064 жыл бұрын
I am not ready to be called out like this. Jokes aside, my mother literally told me for most of my life that I am an extension of her, that everything I do reflects back on her, good or bad. I've spent so much of my life just feeling defective, like I'm _always_ in the wrong and it wasn't until very recently that I realized I _might_ not be the problem in every single one of our negative interactions with each other. She's currently refusing to talk to me because I pointed out a mean "joke" she used to tell all the time at my expense (more of a slur than a joke but hey, I guess you do what you can when your sense of humor is just bullying people).
@Sophie-cm2un4 жыл бұрын
Same, sadly.
@LilChuunosuke4 жыл бұрын
I was always told everything good about myself reflected on her, from personal achievements to simple matters of biology. But all my mistakes, anything about me that is less than perfect? Those were somehow of my own doing every time. I was told things like my intelligence and good grades came from her, despite her admitting she constantly coasted at just barely passing grades for her entire schooling, but weight, acne, and other issues that were proven to be caused by a hormonal imbalance? Something that was completely out of my control? My fault.
@haiji_morie84164 жыл бұрын
Props to you bro, it takes a lot to realize and swallow that you aren't the problem all the time while always being called that way
@jullyscainl76234 жыл бұрын
Not joked all time al gues famliy problems ok noplayed Scotland slated mind no us
@whatislife36033 жыл бұрын
I know how it feels:(
@mocha63154 жыл бұрын
I don't have a single clue why my dad married my mom
@amandaclairmont42594 жыл бұрын
I often wonder the same thing. I do know that he rallied after her death. He is in a nursing home, and was expected to only last a few weeks, but after she died, he improved greatly, and is still there, almost 8 years later.
@lilac6243 жыл бұрын
That's on my mind too..I also hate my dad too as he allows me to be abused from my narc and narc aunt..My father is not around me growing up..
@streaming53323 жыл бұрын
Sucked him in with her 'personality'
@g06793 жыл бұрын
Gotta clue with mine... Mom was the Somatic Narcissist. Dad was the Cerebral variety. Together, they formed the Destructive Duo.
@vickyhibbs3 жыл бұрын
My mother was a Completely Different Person with my dad than she was with me. Completely. Different.
@meibaola Жыл бұрын
Gosh, my mother scored ten out of ten... well-done Mum! 🤮 Ages ago my then therapist mentioned she could be narcissistic and I didn't quite understand. I did get out as soon as I could however and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I live in another country and I am successful: she alternates between showing me off and jealousy. Never ever supported me in anything, that's for sure. Nowadays she is being treated for cancer and loving the extra attention. I do visit her more often, of course: I get brushed off or love-bombed solely depending on her mood. Last time I saw her, she was in the love-bombing phase and told me she wanted to come visit to celebrate my 50th birthday. I had the presence of mind to say "no, thank you, it's not a good time work-wise, maybe come later?" But my guts were telling me: "why celebrate this milestone with her? Don't let her make this TOO about herself".
@PrestigiousEar10-m2q4 ай бұрын
I am sorry for what you had to go through.... You did the righht thing. Nowadays I am completely unable to pend my bday in town thanks to my mom, she alway made it about her and my golden child sister, when she ruined the 30s milestone I just stopped and say "I am on vacations". I find myself more and more bored to have to spend time with her now and then (I extremely avoid it)
@SilantoA3 жыл бұрын
Thank God for social media...it’s refreshing to 1.Know we are bot alone in this. 2.Have a name for what has been happening to is and 3. Know how to react else it’s easy to go crazy.
@tundrawomansays50673 жыл бұрын
If you’re an adult, don’t “react,” act by terminating the relationship. If you’re not a legal adult, please hang in there and quietly make plans to get out as soon as you can. They never get better, in fact they get more bitter. Unlike wine, they do *not* improve with age. Take care.
@bernadetteprice81143 жыл бұрын
The number one reason I left home at 18 to go live in different country to study and didn't leave. Still tries to play my strings. I'm 50 with 20 yr old son, now. . Divorced. Everything OK. Son is lovely. Luckily the relationship is mainly by phone with intermittent visits. But still ........
@chloereed24343 жыл бұрын
@@tundrawomansays5067 that only works if your an adult who can afford to live without them. Alot of narc parents use this to their advantage and make sure they know how much the adult child is earning and cant afford to move out or will make sudden changes of need for money so its impossible to save.
@amarieASMR4 жыл бұрын
my heart goes out to anyone that can relate to this video...
@Channel8E63 жыл бұрын
I’m fucking 39 and I still don’t know how to deal with my mother so I keep her at a distance. I always tell myself she can’t be all bad I mean she raised me and I turned out ok. Truth is I think I turned out ok despite of her actions.
@crystelcassymarilao60743 жыл бұрын
I will follow your advice
@Lauranessa13 жыл бұрын
Same here. Yet I still Live with her…. Idk it’s been hard thou
@czernya3073 жыл бұрын
Keep an emotional distance. Narcissists will never change; they'll get worse before they get better. They'll die that way.
@Channel8E63 жыл бұрын
@@czernya307 you are exactly right
@eileencornacchia86193 жыл бұрын
Good for you. I’m 74. She just died at 96. Tortured me till the end. Get out now. Far far away.
@lunchboxhb Жыл бұрын
She never apologizes.
@callumcurry69352 жыл бұрын
Being highly sensitive and autistic with a narcissistic mother who ignores my disability was painful, slowly killing me from inside and destroying my mental health. glad I could get away and move out and to get better mentally with friends who are aware of my autism and helping me cope.☺️
@ameliaharper6064 Жыл бұрын
Exact same situation for me, but I have a little brother, that's the only reason I still have a relationship with her, how am I just supposed to go contact with her when that also means no contact with my little brother.
@wendi-bnkywuv Жыл бұрын
I have autism too. My "mother" *HATES* my stimming and screams and scolds me about it *every single time!* I once set up a meeting in order to give her some insight on it, but she ended up retraumatizing me. Yelling at my counselor, publicly humiliating me in front of my dad, my counselor, and my stepdad to the point I was sobbing uncontrollably into my dad's chest. The worst part is her new husband takes her side, gets on to me about my stimming, and even told me that I "should look up how to talk to someone with depression" (depression is her new excuse for her behavior) when I spoke up!
@greenbanana1001 Жыл бұрын
Same autistic and bpd here and my mother was abusive and heroine addict
@pastichegraham2 ай бұрын
I'm autistic, and I'm on the same path of getting ready to move out. Don't you worry! My mind at this point is to regain independence and get out of their hair for good. I love my parents I really do. But a lot of damage has been done to me due to autism. Can we be friends so that I can share my life stories???
@pastichegraham2 ай бұрын
@@wendi-bnkywuv OH MY GOSH.... I am so sorry. :( I'm Autistic too and you would not have believed the things that my mom has said to me last month. I could give you a whole list. I would love to be your friend if you're up for it?? 💖💖
@Korishiva3 жыл бұрын
Every single one describes my mother, who I've cut ties with this year, right before turning 30. She never listened to me or validated my feelings, and always talked to me like I was a child, and I got fed up with it.
@mixmixture70493 жыл бұрын
Same like me.
@Andrejr3163 жыл бұрын
Happy for you 💚 hopefully ur life is better now
@MikeCordeiro6662 жыл бұрын
Same!! She always treats me like a child and tells me to grow up! I mean... sh'es the child since she's the one o can't keep a normal conversation or accept and apologise when she's wrong about something. To her, she's always the one who's right and I'm always the one who has to say sorry. I'm sick of it!
@klausineliebtpeter2 жыл бұрын
havent talked to mine in 15 years now. fired her in my early twenties. best decision ever. shes still trying to devalue my will by trying to reach me or telling other family members messages for me. when i wrote her the letter where i told her to gtfo of my life her reaction was "oh, youre just a bit stupid now, just give me a call soon". i hate her for all shes done to me, destroyed all of my siblings emotionally too. shes just a cancer in every life she touches. best accomplishment would be to be indifferent towards her existence. people are way too reluctant to cut ties with toxic people just because they are related. i often get that "but its your mother" reaction. people dont understand how cruel and hurtful a mother can get. bad people have no place in my life.
@iamethatsall2 жыл бұрын
so happy for you! I'm 30 and I cant do it anymore with my mom.i just cant. only at 30 I start to understand so many things and why I am who I am today. the pain was unbearable. no wonder i became an addict. i dont want to have children because of her. i try to pray for her but it's too early for me. I'm still so hurt and angry. a day will come and i will forgive her.i believe that day will come. meanwhile the less contact I'll have with her the better. not everybody should become parents, God the damage has done...
@akitodaisuke65323 жыл бұрын
My mother shouts so bad at me that my neighbors said that we enjoyed your argument and laughs at me. Whenever I hang out outside my home my neighbors stares at me weirdly and gossips to other about me. I have never felt such a worst embarrassment moment. God save me from witch.
@pallasathena13692 жыл бұрын
Mine is 82. She has been like this all her life. I just smile and tell the neighbours that she has dementia. She doesn't. I don't think narcs even get dementia in old age. They are just pure evil.
@darkpandemonium57532 жыл бұрын
😔 same
@lteller4445 Жыл бұрын
I recently found out my mother is a narcissist. My entire life I felt it was my fault - I was never good enough, smart enough, worth anything. I'm now an older adult and often wonder who and what I could have become if I hadn't felt I was so worthless my entire life. So sad.
@kmills26062 жыл бұрын
My mother is a pro at gaslighting and twisting her lies around the truth until you lose all sense of what really happened. I honestly couldn't put my finger on what was happening until now, in my 40s, after learning all about covert narcissism tactics. She's always been the martyr in our family, doing good deeds to have others glorify her. If she's crossed, she'll hold a grudge for a lifetime. But, she's quick to say she's not an unforgiving person. She thinks Meghan Markle is sweet and innocent and buys into her self victimization bc the two are cut from the same cloth.
@scentsoftravelmeditation Жыл бұрын
Yh that’s my mother, except more severe. Believe me when I say she would hold a grudge for 3 life times and reflect over it 5 hours a day!
@DeathSpellXVI Жыл бұрын
I’m only realizing how messed up my mom is in my thirties because she’s always ignored me, and I escaped into my creative world all of my youth, but now that she needs me as she gets old and I need her because of my depression things are clashing. I realize it also because her treatment towards my brother is different, she feels so bad for him for no reason and even though she’s put me through so much shit in my childhood she says I had a perfect life (when I had no clothes and no house) 😂
@BallsGaming506 Жыл бұрын
Happened today (also today was my birthday)
@kmills2606 Жыл бұрын
@@gardensteps bless your 💜
@lnatalie4 жыл бұрын
my fbi agent needs to chillll cus they be recommending videos that are way too accurate😭😭
@Psych2go4 жыл бұрын
How many signs did you relate to?
@lnatalie4 жыл бұрын
@@Psych2go ALL OF THEM
@asparrow55054 жыл бұрын
😂 ikr
@YouTubeaccountj4 жыл бұрын
And ads 🙄
@aprilharrison58144 жыл бұрын
I know what you mean. Sorry to hear it.
@laurabrasie43392 жыл бұрын
I was abused as a kid (by a non-relative) and I never told my parents because I was scared. But then that person did something specific and my parents had to know because the police were called by someone else. Instead of keeping it between just us, my mom told everyone in the family at my cousin's graduation party. When I raised my voice in an attempt to stand up for myself, my aunt (her sister) told me not to talk to my mom that way. I will NEVER forgive my mom for telling that very personal story. I didn't want everyone to know. I have zero respect for her. I just kinda put up with her now.
@reesedaniel58352 жыл бұрын
I would've told the narcy aunt to butt out and mind her own business.
@gojiberry72012 жыл бұрын
I was sexually abused by my brother, and after he committed suicide, I started talking about sexual abuse on FB to raise awareness for both of us. My brother had likewise been abused by an outside party when he was young, so he did it to me. When my mom found out, she started screaming about what would HER friends think of her, how unkind I was to HER community, and how SHE no longer wanted to live. She was vicious for days and days. When I tried to confront her about it later, she cut me off, shouting, "STOP TALKING!" (Note, I never said anything about my mother in any of this) I asked my dad to help but he said he doesn't intervene in family matters..............
@karagalactic2 жыл бұрын
My mom did the same thing to me!!!!!! Oh my god I was so mad!!! She told a friend of hers my sister molested me, i ended up telling my other sister what happened and she called my mom to tell her that wasn't right. My mom, my dad, and another sister (who's also narcissistic) all got mad at me for telling my sister, what my mom did. The hypocrisy is astounding lol I put up with this behavior for my whole life, I've been free from my toxic ass family for 1 year now. It's the only year of my life where I haven't lived in constant ptsd and anxiety. "If their absence brings you peace, it wasn't a loss."
@miriamaleecemusic Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry that happened to you, My mom and her friends are the same way. They’re like a “sisterhood” or whatever and I’m nice but I honestly know WAY too much of their dark secret shit about their husbands and kids and it’s uncomfortable. But they all gossip about each other so on my end idk what their kids know about me in a sense. But it teaches me to make better friends when I’m a mother. I’m so sorry that happened to you and I don’t blame you for feeling that way towards her.
@lightstreamlivestream4486 Жыл бұрын
I learned long ago not to tell my mom anything vulnerable about myself, because I knew she’d parade it around to my other family members. She’d never apologize or admit she may have been insensitive.
@kellyshomemadekitchen Жыл бұрын
I related to EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM and I now UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING about my mother. Thank you for posting!!!❤
@OccumsChainsaw2 жыл бұрын
The first time I ever had a panic attack, I reached out to my mom for comfort and support. She straight up said “Good for you.” I’ll never forget that.
@sirvic17042 жыл бұрын
🤲🏾
@Unlike2302 жыл бұрын
My mother walked out on me when my sugar dropped and I almost passed out. I'm diabetic. My friend put me on the couch and she left
@savirasalsabila8312 жыл бұрын
its must be tough on you.. i hope you are doing fine right now..
@Unlike2302 жыл бұрын
@Berlinetta ____ That's terrible. I'm sorry 🙏
@Unlike2302 жыл бұрын
@@savirasalsabila831 Not sure if your reply was for me but if so thank you
@itsbrenna13573 жыл бұрын
I suffer from “the least favourite child syndrome”. Luckily, my brother who has “the favourite child syndrome” defends me agains my parents.
@hopemccubbin86613 жыл бұрын
That's rare. You are blessed.
@YouJG0003 жыл бұрын
@@hopemccubbin8661 true she is blessed of that because same but he doesn’t defend
@Chirpieshome3 жыл бұрын
My brother does the opposite
@joshuaswartz39813 жыл бұрын
@@Chirpieshome facts
@donnafraenkel78523 жыл бұрын
You are lucky, my mother plays that card and my brother takes the card
@joannehodges26924 жыл бұрын
Growing up with a narcissistic mother kept me in a depression for years & I felt that I’d never amount to anything or be able to lead my own life without her. At almost 30 years old with a child of my own, I’m finally doing it. I’m living a life of my own & raising my 9 year old the way I wanted my mother to raise me. My son always tells me how wonderful I am and how much he loves me & it’s so rewarding to hear. To anyone who feels that you’ll never get away or can’t break the cycle, it’s 100% possible. Please help yourself heal your heart and your mind. 💜
@ashylarry48673 жыл бұрын
How do you deal with your child when he sees your mother? Is she still alive? Do you try to shield him away from all that negative energy?
@charlottecamila28593 жыл бұрын
Currently going through this now i have 2 girls. I just got hired permanantely finally at almost 30 years in the field she works in where she didnt even want to help me get in. If it wasnt for my friend I would have never had the experience. I currently split the rent with her and am looking for my own place. I cant wait to be on my own and not depend on her. I'd rather be a little tight financially then deal with her attacks. I want to move away from her. No resentments no grudges just peace.
@riaagarwal6840 Жыл бұрын
This video is such a godsend. Mothers are put on a pedestal in our society and any children that don't are vilified.