Asperger's In Love: From Helplessly Confused to Head Over Heels

Learn about the problems experienced in Aspergian relationships, and the solutions, with Alina Kislenko. Aspies in relationships can be the most loving, loyal, helpful, creative, and resilient partners. Tune in to this webinar to figure out how to move your Aspergian relationship from helplessly confused to delightfully satisfying and head-over-heels in love.
Learn about:
- The core symptoms of Asperger's and how they impact relationships
- Common issues in Aspie relationships
- How to find and celebrate your Aspie partner's strengths
- Creating consensual new norms together
- How blame and self-esteem play a role in relationship issues
- Techniques for creating a healthy relationship
Alina Kislenko is a therapist in private practice specializing in ADHD, Asperger's, Sex therapy, and couples issues. Alina has been running support groups for people with ADHD and Asperger's for the last five years, and hosts the Strange Brains Talk Radio Show focusing on strategies for people with ADHD and Asperger's.
A live 45-minute teaching with a PowerPoint presentation, followed by a Q & A for audience participants.
Presented by Psych Central with host Zoë Kessler.
NOTE: This video is a re-creation of the live session from Monday, August 15, 2014.

[@LadyMcGiusti]

I could not have found this at a better time. I'm 46, and I was just diagnosed with Autism 3 years ago when I was having my son evaluated. I also just started dating recently, and I'm FINALLY realizing all of my relationship problems have been Autism related. I just didn't know it. And I recently made a mistake with someone I really like. I did disclose that I'm Autistic, but it didn't seem to make a difference. Autism presents itself differently in women, and we are rarely believed when we tell people, or they don't want to take the time to learn what that really means. It's so frustrating and depressing.

[@GossamerJedi]

For Aspies, the video starts at

[@rhian2033]

Slow video to .75x

[@jemiahdapap8053]

I’m an Aspie dude. Eye contact and touch aren’t hard for me. Controlling my emotions to actions is tough. Too much or nothing. My butterflies are Hulks. My butterfly jar jolts me.

[@rjc7289]

I would imagine not too many people have the patience and fortitude to deal with Aspies on a romantic level.

[@ourworldfinallyelaine]

I was getting to know someone on the spectrum and we decided early on that if something wasn’t “ok” -to have an open and direct conversation about it. The very first time I decided to use this card, gone. They disappeared and said that maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore. 😂 After six months, it all went down the drain when I wanted to have “one” conversation on how to improve our communication. Eventually, they returned but then stonewalled me. I gave up. I was extremely patient and read a lot about this, but nothing worked.

[@amandam8787]

The example that's being used about criticizing in public? Never critique someone publicly. Always do so in private.

[@amandarenske]

Literally the best, most compassionate, practical and useful discussion about a relationship between NT and ND that I have found. You gave be alot of insight, hope and tools. Thank you.

[@vaiciciaku]

I listen to it on 0,75 speed and she sounds calm then :D

[@pluviophile2790]

My fiancée is an Aspie and we have a wonderful relationship! I listen to him and he listens to me. If there is something I'm confused about I tell him and we discuss it and vice versa. Now, I do get aggravated with him at times and he gets aggravated with me and that's common in relationships in general. He and I communicate. I also have social anxiety, ptsd, anxiety and manic depression but we both help one another. I am so very grateful that he found me and was able to make the first move. i know it took a lot for him to make the first move.

[@Freebuscus]

I’m exploring whether I might be an Aspie. One thing I relate to is that I don’t understand why people say sex is a basic need. If it were, I would be dead by now.

[@barpoe1]

"Ask questions, you're gonna get fascinating answers" Lol!

[@allisonschempf2230]

I am an Aspie and have dated AS and NT guys. I relate better to AS partners for obvious reasons. However, some of the AS/AS relationships were more difficult than others. I've personally found that if my partner doesn't constantly try to act NT, things are a lot easier to manage.

[@mcolen22]

Great material. But the speed and tone of voice of the lecturer were not helping me....getting badly on my nerves, but her material is excellent.

[@DiscoveryWonders]

*This is all good and clear for NT to learn about ASPIES, and what they need...BUT there are far too many videos about that already.... and a stick has got two ends...so HOW ABOUT a video about WHAT NT partner's needs are and what skills exactly Aspies need, to meet those NT partner's needs---- and PLEASE, post a SERIOUSLY SPECIFIC step by step webinar on how to behave closer to the norm and train and develop and practice those relationship skills that are appreciated and required by NT partners- No one teaches THAT! ASPIES NEED TO GROW TOO! please don't treat Aspies like disabled, not functional people not capable of learning the new skills or personal or social growth, because Aspies are VERY smart and when there is a proper teaching- they can learn and FAST! SO TEACH THEM!!!! PLEASE!!!!*

[@RainbowWrangler]

Just so you know many of us aspies struggle with verbaly comunicated infomation which is worse when you cant see the person speaking. I hear perfectly well but if I cant lip read its much harder to take in. Also you tubes auto generated subtitles are...frustrating. ¬.¬

[@flodfellow]

Change the playback speed to .75 ! It's much easier to listen to.

[@jozina1]

Hello, I would like to give some feedback on the sound in this video. I am very sensitive to sound and the mic being used is really raspy and high pitched. Could you use a different mic that creates less static?

[@eddieafterburner]

37:03

[@mistyday967]

I'm not an aspie myself but I'm really interested in the Asperger's Syndrome (...and pretty much everything else revolving around psychology and mental health) and I must say that the presentation was very interesting and informative! I definitely learned a lot of new things - thanks a lot for sharing :)