Psychiatric Interview: BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) | Part 3 | Debrief with Client

A woman diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) talks about her interview session with Dr. Lois Choi-Kain. She discusses the benefits of therapy in general and the specific takeaways from her recent sessions: she could improve around issues of avoidance, alcoholism/coping, social anxiety, and being hard on herself.
You can find Part 1 (The Session) here: • Psychiatric Interview:...
And Part 2 (Analysis with Dr. Choi-Kain): • Psychiatric Interview:...
This video is part of a series of sessions with therapists who work with Borderline Personality Disorder. Playlist of all videos to date is here: • Playlist
Rebbie (the interviewer) apologizes for her slack appearance. She was, at the time of these interviews, 6.5 months pregnant, directing and producing and just didn't have the wherewithal to pull it together and "put lipstick on a pig" in her gestational hosting state.
For more related material, see John Gunderson’s videos: • Dr. John Gunderson
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For more information about BORDERLINE, the feature-length documentary we made about BPD, please visit: borderlinethefilm.com
Our archive of videos on mental health is expanding - be sure to subscribe to our channel here: / borderlinernotes
Disclaimer: "Please be advised this video may contain sensitive information. All content found within this publication (VIDEO) is provided for informational purposes only. All cases may differ, and the information provided is a general guide. The content is not intended to be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have specific questions about a medical condition, you should consult your doctor or other qualified medical professional for assistance or questions you have regarding a medical condition. Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes does not recommend any specific course of medical remedy, physicians, products,opinion, or other information.
Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes expressly disclaims responsibility and shall have no liability for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffering as a result of reliance on the information in this publication. If you or someone you know is considering self-harm or suicide, it’s okay to ask for help. 24 hour support is provided by www.hopeline-nc.org (877.235.4525), suicidepreventionlifeline.org (800.273.8255), kidshelpphone.ca (800.668.6868).”

[@kaylagriswold7071]

I just love this girl so much. The way they she is so open and raw, but still sees some humor in the dysfunction. Beautiful.

[@michaelhyland3883]

Seeing her in these interviews is making me so hopeful that I can deal with my diagnosis. She is helping people SO much by doing these.

[@calexprenas]

i’m amazed by her sense of humor. i wish i could have that kind of humor in dealing with my pain. i feel too much shame to have any humor about it

[@mrssmith1691]

She's the best.

[@philphil4042]

Be careful you don't understand how quick she can change to a narcisstic self centered monster.

[@rebeccalivingston7465]

Totally agree!❤️

[@aran7teen]

She’s kinda hilarious to be honest. “I feel like everyone is interesting. Everybody has a story. Well, maybe not everybody. Actually some people are really boring” - had me in stitches. Wish her all the best going forward.

[@sorad5791]

"She was SO nice.. she had a great garden, she had the best bogenvegas or however you say that flower or whatever.... and then she's murdered her husband." That part made me lol

[@lisaj5769]

she seems like a genuinely empathic person who wants to better herself

[@a.p5079]

Watching this is so comforting. She’s such a beautiful person and gentle. It depicts how someone who is affected by bpd - is emotionally sensitive (not in a bad way) it is what it is, experiences extreme moods swings, anger, etc, is a really caring and lovely person. I see myself in her and other people with bod do too... it helps us to have more compassion with ourselves and that improvement out of all this self awareness is possible.

[@michelle5987]

I am so proud of you for being so transparent and not worrying about what others think. I have BPD and was only diagnosed by my evil boss/doctor after i tried to take my life. I see myself through you in so many ways and I hope that you’re in a better place than i was or am. Life with this is extremely hard even among those who love you. My grandma doesnt even know gow to treat those with BPD. She says crazy all the time.

[@michelle5987]

Message me anytime you would like. I fear the same for myself. I fear i could become something far from what i imagine myself as.

[@im_saved_by_grace]

I love 💕 🤗 HER REALNESS she made me happy for a minute

[@leonardodedeo5540]

I think that this series of interviews is the best way to understand BPD, from every perspective. There are true people, true stories and authentic feelings to reflect upon. I'm very thankful to you!

[@dE3Lov]

These were the words I was searching for.

[@leonardodedeo5540]

@@dE3Lov 😊

[@raphaellelf7301]

"I can't wait to avoid and be aware of it" 👌🏼😂

[@leahfletcher6100]

😂 loved that part That literally is avoidance on all levels lol

[@pamhunter8834]

I love Charlotte!! She reminds me of myself so much. So sincere and kind. You can tell she's sensitive by her mannerisms, a bit hypervigilant. And her ability to self reflect is impressive. People think because we have issues that its related to our IQ. Obviously not. Shes very attuned to the counsellors processes too, if not a bit suspect.. Typical bpd. And so brave to put herself out there for us to learn from. THANKS CHARLOTTE❤️❤️ You're inspiring.

[@goj09dale]

really interesting post, any chance you could explain what you mean by " a bit suspect"? please

[@indigogirl5172]

Charlotte is someone I would read her autobiography. Sweet, sensitive, with weathered strength. The girl has been through so much and here she is standing strong. Strong enough to look in her mirror. Many…rather say I most cannot. We have similar upbringing…rageful narcissistic mothers and passive enabling fathers. A little girl not protected. But she found strength, her voice. Bravo Charlotte!

[@bekahwrigley6741]

I have a similar father and I would just say I think they’re scared of mom too 💔

[@sobrashy]

Having the camera filming the hands at certain points is such a lovely detail. Thank you for making these!

[@a.p5079]

Can so relate to drinking too much alcohol as being a coping mechanism and not alcoholism.

[@MegaRaaaaaaa]

I don't know if the patient can see this but I hope she can... just want to say I really like you and you seem like a fun person to hang out with. Your personality shines through really strongly and it's really awesome!

[@rbvp45]

I totally get why Dr. Choi is the favorite. She seems so kind, thoughtful and respectful.

[@vivalarica]

All I see is a humble, kind-hearted person that is totally aware of herself & the people around her & their behaviors. Good & bad. She has it together way more than I did at her age, by far! Also, (about having a kid)sometimes the best Moms are the ones that choose not to be like their own mothers. Great sessions! ❤️

[@SeebsL]

"I can't wait to be avoid and be aware of it!" 🤣

[@GuyYakobovitch]

Thank you for the series. After years of self neglecting, a new therapist suggested I might have BPD. I only knew that term before due to stereotypes and such. But your channel is so informative in the most sincere way, and I seem to realize he is right. The woman in the interview is like looking in the mirror for me (which I avoid :) ) The therapist is so professional and soothing. Your'e doing something right. Thanks.

[@sugarfree1894]

Presenting yourself in the best possible light is not arrogant. At all. It's just sensible.

[@lucymisti]

So true. You can even feel your lkeableness and the cuteness of your vulnerability, yet you’re so scared on the inside and know your level of anger that you feel fragile. I so identify with her.

[@user-bg1eo7lo9u]

Dear Charlotte, Wishing you all the best for healing, peace, love and wholeness❤️🕊

[@michaelstewart2817]

she looks like she is a lot of fun to be around and has a gigantic heart. i would totally have a BFF like her. and so much of this resonates with me also.

[@a.p5079]

What she said about bpds around other bpds... :) so relatable and honest.

[@vala1277]

I admire her courage because bpd is so stressful and challenging for someone who has it. To be so honest ... I have no words. This woman has guts.

[@davidnewman4156]

this debrief is very useful - many technique videos miss this step

[@headyBC]

Amazing. This is the most relatable BPD interview I've seen yet. All of it. Her openness and honesty is incredible

[@suterfire]

This series is so Fascinating and very helpful ! Thank you.

[@ryana411]

Thank you so much for these videos! The social anxiety parts hits me deep and the self validation is wonderful! Keep up the good work!

[@gracepeterson7483]

Charlotte, you are so genuine. I love your sense of humor. Thank you for making yourself vulnerable.

[@LarissaZavala123]

This. I needed this interview so much, I was diagnosed with BPD as well and so much of what she said is spot on in my life. she’s so likable and really trying. Love her

[@roseisclark]

Thanks Charlotte for sharing so honestly. I think that your interview will help people with BPD to be pathologized less, that it will have a humanising influence. I think it's a really wonderful gift to the internet! There are a lot of bad videos out there about BPD where people with it are dehumanised and pathologised. I'm speaking as someone not with BPD, but who is learning about counselling.

[@annhenry3135]

Having a difficult mother, I can see how that made me socially anxious as well. It made me have a tight social circle and how devastated I was at ending relationships. Bless you Charlotte as you are helping others as well. Our mothers do not define us and I used my mother’s example of how to not be a mother. In the end, she helped me although she hated me. .

[@derwolf7721]

This beautiful and intelligent woman is so courageous for sharing her life experiences and also for sharing her interview. The therapist does a nice job of creating a relaxed and supportive atmosphere, while still challenging the client when therapeutically beneficial. BPD is such a painful condition. I wish this woman all the best in life. I know it's really hard to live without alcohol and recreational drugs, but they always make BPD worse because they make an extremely volatile and emotional mind even more emotionally volatile, and also worsen the depressive tendencies of BPD. I know it's hard to believe, but you will actually feel better when drug and alcohol free. If you have been drinking and drugging for years, you will not see the complete benefits of quitting for a while, sometimes a year or two, but it's well worth the glorious healthy feeling you will invariably realize. It's just that the brain takes a while to revert back. It's still important to take all prescriptions, of course, as directed by a doctor. I am sending this woman the warmest platonic hug and wishing her speedy healing and joy. It's gonna be OK. The sun rises every day!

[@michellew5967]

Charlotte, I don’t know where you are now and how you’ve been. But I wish you the best.

[@MDBenton]

Each video Charlotte has done is great, she is quite intelligent and her intelligence shines even brighter in this one. And Charlotte is interesting, it isn't just our stories that make us interesting but how we get through them and learn from them, and use them to connect to others to help them, which Charlotte has certainly done here. Thank you Charlotte.

[@MrWaldynyc]

I can't stop watching Charlotte, she is very aware and genuine, as someone with mental issues myself, it is inspiring to see how raw and clear she can communicate her feelings and emotions

[@SmallBobby]

I like Dr Lois too, she's my fave. So balanced yet so insightful! Wishing you all the best Charlotte!

[@Marie.b]

@1:46 this is a breakthrough moment. Social anxiety is not just this thing that one has, meaning it can't be any different, can't be changed etc. Anxiety is coming from somewhere and therefore the person can be helped deal or overcome or be freed from! I found that young people seem to hang on to these labels and don't want to be different. It's like they like being part of a group! They talk about their issues only to get validation but in my experience ' blow up' when finding a way out is suggested.

[@claudiamuresan7194]

I really like her ! She can explain so well what is she feeling . I was talking about her in my therapy yesterday. I find out that I have bpd a month ago. 😊

[@radiochickpro]

I'm so proud of you Charlotte!!

[@HezaSwiftTeFleet]

This woman is amazing

[@jess3591]

I worry a bit how Charolette will feel about having this all on KZbin ten years from now. BPD--like all personality disorders--is very dynamic and changes throughout a person's lifetime. As Charolette grows and develops new skills and experiences, will she feel the same way about having such intimate detail out for the whole World to see? For me, as I learned how to develop healthier boundaries (a skill hard-won and still not well developed even at my age), I look back at things my past self shared with others and feel I violated my own privacy sometimes. There are things I would now only share in the trusted confidence of those I know will treat me with dignity that I used to gush to anyone and everyone who would listen in my younger, more dysregulated years… The intensity of pain of this disorder hasn’t seemed to diminish with time for me, just the ability to manage it. Maybe any future pain is a weirdly, cosmically necessary challenge for Charlotte to face for further growth--and a strange gift of this "disorder" in my opinion, is that it does leave its sufferers with boundless opportunities for growth that not many have access to... But I can’t help wishing she was given more anonymity.

[@aladinfox4098]

I agree, though fortunately she has a pleasant personality and I think anyone watching this in the future could only come away with positive thoughts towards her.

[@S51121]

Fortunately she doesn't mind showing face. She said it before, she wants to be open to the world so people like her can see that change and help is possible.

[@Mohammed-2338]

I mean I tremendously appreciate her courage and the information she willingly shared with us, but you are not so wrong about the constant change of heart typical in a BPD personality. I still experience these intense emotions of shame about things I shared online or with friends to this date. I just hope when she looks back at this that she realises how much helpful it was to so many people who go through similar strifes to hear her story.

[@carlosfc007]

As a medical student, this has been really helpful in elucidating the characteristics of people with BPD. Thank you, sincerely

[@5thdimension625]

You run into them again and again over the course of your practice. Trust me. Always recommend DBT for them.

[@jeeed6390]

@@5thdimension625 what is DBT?

[@5thdimension625]

@@jeeed6390 DBT is Dialectical Behavior Therapy {DBT) is an off shoot of Cognitive Behavior therapy. It’s the standard therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder

[@boblazar9720]

Charlotte's great, she literally looks like every girl I've ever seen in an AA meeting on the Upper West side.

[@allie54774]

These interviews are so validating, comforting & helpful to me.

[@FaolPlay]

I hope she's doing well. She has a fantastic energy and definitely needs to give herself some credit!

[@BirdDogey1]

I find her self awareness amazing. I was married to someone with BPD. There was absolutely no awareness to the point of absurdity.

[@Stacy_SJA]

I wonder what she does for work. Seems like she would be good as a therapist or group leader. I don’t think she’s as damaged as she thinks, and she’s very intelligent.. and her being her & living with bpd can help others at the early 20s stage that she was in. I also think she drinks too much bc you can see it in her eyes, but it’s reversible & she would look so much healthier/younger if she stopped drinking. She looks extremely young as is, but I think she’ll feel better and more confident if she cuts that out of her life. I can totally relate to the ending, how she can see herself being “that monster”, but I think having the recognition of it shows that won’t happen. I like her and wish her all the happiness.

[@blakerainwater6036]

Thank you for this.

[@handcrafted30]

I’ve binged these videos. I take so much strength from this girl. Isn’t it amazing, she doesn’t know any of us but had touched us all in some way.

[@carolineh8605]

I've watched 3 sessions of her and I can't figure put if this is an actor or not. If so, she is a good actor.

[@tommylandbeach8049]

Very Beautiful, and brave. G....damm this disorder! Charlotte"s laugh and smile are delightful. I pray for her and all who suffer.

[@meb3153]

Excellent 3 part. Many thanks!

[@suburbanyute340]

she's so funny. the frog dissection analogy is hysterical

[@muffyrodriguez]

You have a creative mind!♥️

[@wickedbunny2020]

Wow I have such a close personality as her. Except I don’t drink or use hard drugs. I have other things. I’d totally love to meet the dr that interviewed her. She was so respectful and smart! She got it.

[@mrssmith1691]

I love Dr Choi-Kain too!

[@mika66]

Feels as if the "people pleasing" is a constant go-to during social interactions, even during this interview. 3 to 6 months in an intensive yogic meditation program to highly sensitive people can do wonders.

[@muffyrodriguez]

Do you have any recommendations? I’d love to attend

[@mika66]

@@muffyrodriguez I recommend meditation/yoga and a ketogenic diet or other healthy balanced diet.

[@afakkobyab5982]

beautiful channel. wow! thank you so much.

[@jaredclark9795]

Right... actually in love with her authenticity. I’ve heard more of an actual conversation from her than I’ve heard/have had with anyone in my 25 years of living. I wish there were more people this raw in the world... and I know there are... I just mean present. These are the kinds of conversations I long for.

[@danishaferreira7796]

Hi Jared. I have BPD and i have quite the raw stories to tell. My problem is it’s very difficult to find someone that would even accept me speaking about them. My childhood was horrible and then I’ve gone through quite some things as an adult. If you are very interested in listening to someone’s crazy life experience I’d love to talk to you.

[@jaredclark9795]

@@danishaferreira7796 I dated a girl here in PA with BPD and she told me some stories that made me feel for her. I honestly loved her so much and I think about her all the time. Sorry I’m rambling… sure, I’d love to.

[@rideplayrepeat3941]

I feel for her. Doesn’t sound like experienced love, for sure not from her mom. It’s sad as I’m sure that has showed up in her relationships. I dated people like that, and it just doesn’t work out as they have no idea how to love. They say what they think you want to hear and you can literally not advise them on anything as they know it all already. Life is tough man.

[@sailing9802]

true

[@arethajb6105]

❤❤❤ "I can't wait to avoid & be aware of it 😊"

[@georgeferreira124]

The girl is a hero. All but the few practice anything at all. She is SO fly!! I'm in ❤️ love!!!!

[@bonniekdwyer]

I'm in the "taken out in handcuffs from the therapist's office" club, too! Naltrexone helps with drinking more than I like... no blackouts in 3+ years. Be well, Charlotte!

[@mikelangley5100]

Charlotte is not ill she has a gift and can see things in 4 dimensions, unfortunately this can be overwelming to your senses.

[@Thankful_.]

Every person has a story. Yes! People are interesting in their own interesting ways, if we take time to see them.

[@Auroradiluculum]

Oh I just love her. I have social anxiety

[@Sameoldfitup]

“I : to not you are and be happy, or to become you've always wanted to be, and feel alone.”

[@adatbh]

I absolutely adore her so so muchhhhhhhhh

[@nicolegibson1491]

I learned early on it was much easier to cut people out, literally, when I'd fucked it up or sensed them leaving...

[@bsepide1]

Everybody is interesting, but not everyone comes off as interesting in every conversation, so if someone tells your you're interesting, it's true they might be bullshitting, but also, they might find you uniquely interesting.

[@enverismail6864]

I watch this just for her

[@user-us7vw3yq8p]

She seems very nice. She's probably confused by the anger and pride stages. You have to go through them to get back up to courage then neutrality. They are all on the mood scale image online. I don't think you can get back to them without someone in your life who you really like and look up to, staying by you even after you've gone to the horrible place of freaking out on them multiple times. She is exactly like me even to look at lol. My bf is a very cheeky forward man with a wicked sense of humour, it's him who has stood by me time and again because he can eee the pune behind my rage so clearly. He's not intimidated by it. It gets him down when I rage by text for three days in response to his love, and he has to spend time alone but I've started to see fleeting glimpses of the neutrality stage or the courage stage because of him. It is a very smooth place. Forget deep breathing that just makes me lose my breath. You can't feel optimistic because that's a few stages up the mood chart, about 5 stages above the anger xx

[@jackiemartling5321]

Wonder what was so triggering she got cuffed in a therapists office?

[@LuxMeow]

lol same.

[@im_saved_by_grace]

I LOVE 💕 🤗 HER real deal feels who is my sister from another mister where is she from ?

[@susannadvortsin]

Who wouldn't be angry having a mother, who is totally mean and beating you constantly?

[@megottamove]

At 1:11, is the carpet from “The Shining” put in that office on purpose? Wow. Never seen it anywhere else!

[@mooninaries4397]

You are hilarious Charlotte!

[@mariadinn4441]

She is so charming!!!

[@equipmentmanagementservice2310]

I just wonder how different these responses would be had they listened with their eyes closed, without seeing who it was they were listening to. Quite different I think.

[@MrTittybutt]

I thought I had social anxiety but I then realized that I'm on the autism spectrum. It shows up so differently in females than in males. I think it's being missed constantly and has a lot of comorbidity with other psychiatric conditions.

[@animaladvocate8938]

Dr. Rebecca Carley has options for curing Autism with nosodes (?) Homeopathy. Maybe worth looking into.

[@MrTittybutt]

@@animaladvocate8938 You cant cure autism. That "autism speaks" bs and autism as a flaw put out by neurotypicals who are inconvenienced by their less than "normal" children. Most people have no idea what it is unless they have it, anyone claiming to cure it is a full blown narcissist and has no idea what it is. Its very ignorant to claim that they can "cure" what a person is that is just different. If you dont care about being a memember of the mindless hoard of neurotypicals and narcissists, then its a gift. It took me a long time to realize that and to realize how much more honest I am than the neurotypical clan of the world. Very weird comment. I like your name as a vegan since the 90's but, I have no idea what in the NT world that could mean. Dog Lawyer?

[@xcel4traders820]

How do you think a divorcing father of a nearly 18 year old daughter, who doesnt live with his daughter anymore help lessen the odds of his daughter having similiar issues if one parent is suspected of having destructive narcissistic traits? To add to the equation, we havent communicated in nearly 7 months, some of that probably a natural side effect of the divorce process in itself, and some of it projecting onto me and alienating me from my daughter. How could i do what i need to do to attempt to make sure her mental health had a good shot of having a normal romantic relationship? any advice would be great.

[@wordswordswords8203]

She doesn't have narcissistic personality disorder. She is way too self-aware and empathetic for that.

[@fredwinslow744]

Empathy is an active thing. Not a feeling. Some famous narcissists do feel a lot of empathy. But it is overridden by their own selfish actions , anxieties and directional behaviour usually towards and for themselves . Empathy requires time to show itself and is just not an expression of emotion. We always confuse this ..it is quite convincing but an illusion nonetheless

[@miahdavis8331]

I’ve been a hard no on therapy for some many years. Last 6 months though I had just a general therapist and now I’m starting dbt therapy. They want me to do group dbt therapy to and I’m like oh hell no! I have real bad social anxiety also, so chance of group therapy is pretty much 0%. That not how I want to turn out 20 years from now either…..if you have read my post on other videos

[@mariapetras5835]

🙏✨

[@DellaDykeborn]

If someone isn't interesting, I'm not asking the right questions.

[@mauricasalino]

Love `her

[@sailing9802]

how does this woman support herself?

[@whatshisname3304]

i do nt understand Arrogant. i know what it means but i do nt see how it applies to social anxiety. perhaps she means it is a fear o seeing yourself in a bad light. Its a little vain maybe. excessive vanity would lead you to be arrogant I would think, but that's not really arrogance. It's the root of it maybe. Arrogance is more the overt assertion of superiority and not the fear of being seen in a bad light. i think,, I might be wrong.

[@Sameoldfitup]

When I was six years old my stepmother left me in a doorway with a note saying not wanted......

[@Dawnkey]

I am so sorry, I am glad you are here to share your story

[@janekahn8562]

Any anxiety disorder is very stressful for all concerned....its sad....its harmful And it's an ongoing day to day work in progress for those who have Disorders and moms dads and families need to do hard work to Help in all area..but to self care....so they can cope also.....

[@judylee1860]

I've got to say it is VERY difficult to find a qualified therapist. By qualified I mean a) one who isn't self centered or b) one who isn't coming across superior, judgmental, criticizing and / or as phony sincere. Its took me almost 15 years and going to another State to find qualified help (with extreme PTSD.) Once found, in sessions amazing things can happen. I have come across a man who is BPD, and he gets that angry, too. He was diagnosed as anti social bi polar. I don't think that's what he is. I think he is BPD, narcissist with complex trauma. I'm afraid of him, because he raped me and has terrorized me. He is sadistic. When this person says how angry she gets, believe her. I hope a cure for BPD can be found. They need help to lovingly connect with that place inside the awful parent(s) disconnected. The situation is quite sad.

[@adrianogoeswild]

You know what i mean

[@jessoftherocks]

I dont know, my ex wife, pathologocally lies, i cant tell if listening to her is just the defense mechanism or if this is really the truth. But i went through so much gaslighting and trauma by the end of it she was twisting everything around. It was so unbearable mentally, i definately felt borderline for months, and i can at least relate her in a short term sense. But if she feels somewhat like i did for a couple.months of borderline exposure i truly hope they figure out a way to help these disorders. I wouldnt wosh this upon anyone.

[@jimfoster7986]

Many borderlines put on the self-effacing wounded victim mask. Not sure if she is or not.

[@mangs9940]

i have ADHD, but I find the fact that other people like this also suffer with mental difficulties like me.

[@im_saved_by_grace]

I want to be her friend 🤗

[@archetaro]

She sounds sooo much like Sarah Lynn from Bojack Horseman 😂 (a character who most definitely qualifies for a BPD diagnosis)

[@ilovegeenadavis]

who is otto ?

[@beemio]

Otto Kernberg I imagine.

[@BorderlinerNotes]

The one and only

[@mikeg2538]

so what is wrong with her? She is so nice

[@jeeed6390]

I know a little about BPD and a lot about covert narcs and vulnerable narcs. This case seems fascinated by her own personality. Almost childlike. Do all BPD lack wisdom from little to no self-reflection? Not judging, but honestly curious.

[@BorderlinerNotes]

I think people with BPD have such a hard time knowing what they feel - because their feelings HURT - so they engage in all these bahviors to avoid having to feel which, necessarily means that they evade true self reflection (not across the board) because this would generate emotional pain and they have not built up their skin to tolerate the pain of feeling. Of course, the way out IS authentic self reflection. But to do this without having the scaffolding in place to help a person manage the very painful experience of feeling can be difficult--->impossible--->maybe dangerous.

[@jeeed6390]

@@BorderlinerNotes This is a helpful explanation, but it brings more questions. One thing I've noticed with covert narcs is their belief that everyone around them has it all together. I've had several conversations with narcs explaining that most of the population acts their way through life as though they have it all together. This is met with a suspicious disbelief. Given BDP's apparent disassociated view of the population (outside looking in), do they feel most of the population has it easy or non-BPD folks are uncaring in regards to feelings? Also, given BDPs' trail of unstable relationships and self-sabotage, can they envision and describe what a fulfilling stable relationship would look like? Which leads to a bigger question, what are long term goals of BDPs? Given their emotional pain and easily hurt feelings, one obvious goal would be simply survival.

[@jeeed6390]

@Has Goodles the empathy angle is a formidable obstacle. Though it may be unconquerable, I would still push for some type of envisioning therapy. “What would that look like if....” scenarios would have them exercising their imagination capacity. Imagination seems to be the only method to begin training someone to practice unexplored thoughts and emotions. But I digress. My final question is do BDPs like character study narratives the way much of the population does? Those require a strong degree of empathy to get into the character.

[@happylindsay4475]

@@jeeed6390 Are BPD’s a new homogeneous group? 🤔

[@johnnymerolillo5861]

So nice to look at her

[@beccavry]

8:18 onward, I literally develop goosebumps. In slow motion, it's even more telling. She's talking about a fictitious yet possible scenario of killing someone, yet delivers this scenario with the sides of her lips rising up in a grin. She's self-aware enough to say she doesn't want to "be that person" but then watch at 9:09 - She's literally saying the words "Stabbing people" but look at the smile, broad enough to show teeth while she utters this ghastly scenario. This is horrifying to me, scary as hell. Why? Because I didn't detect this danger in her initial interview. I found her to be highly intelligent, eloquent, self-reflective and honest - but that conflicting body language vs admission at the end of this last interview is also honest (in a way that's probably unintended truthspeak, which means she may not be safe to be around). I have no idea what psychological terms may apply to what I'm trying to describe above, but all I know is that I liked her so much and found much of her journey relatable during this entire session, but now I feel freaked out, fearful of her potential to be unsafe to be around. I hope this comment is not perceived a judgmental, it's just the juxtoposition at 9:09 especially...that's so chilling and quite revealing.

[@user-xi1et5yr4y]

5:32

[@collegeman1988]

She looks really tired and worn out.

[@carliebeau5329]

Reminds me of Meg Ryan. Hope you can find peace.