Purity Politics, Celibacy & Agency | To My Sisters, The Podcast

[@toyinadesoji]

Woman thinking purity will give them a good marriage or being desired because of this.. THAT PART !

[@KayAlexandria283]

I also realized that Purity Culture makes you prideful instead of making you more humble, because I also used to be heavily brainwashed into purity culture to the point where virginity was an idol at one point. When I was a virgin I was so prideful and thought I was better than Christians and non-Christians who had had sex before marriage. I even went as far as thinking like, if a Christian didn’t wait until they were married to have sex then they’re going to hell. So losing my virginity (hope it’s not tmi 🙈) was very humbling and gave me new perspective, because I made waiting until marriage to have sex about how much better I was than other, in my mind, “Christians”, and also out of fear. When it should be done from a place of love from God and conviction from the Holy Spirit. This is not to say that I didn’t try, obviously, but at various times and in various ways, we do the best we can and still fail, because even though we’re Christians, we’re still humans, and we won’t do everything right, and in some areas we will fall short despite our best efforts to please God, and when that’s our heart He sees that. We have to realize that it is ultimately the Grace of God that keeps us, not our works, because it was His grace that saved us in the first place. From that, what I also notice in the church is how people tend to conflate holiness and purity to just sexuality when in reality it is about so much more than that in our overall walk with God, so if one were to miss the mark in that area, now they’re questioning the legitimacy of their entire faith, as well as others because we made their entire walk with God about saving sex for marriage instead of realizing that it’s about getting to know Jesus and learning how to love Him, our neighbor, and ourselves, which encompasses everything that God teaches, which is what I also attribute to Purity Culture. I love your podcast, blessings! ♥️

[@XxMercuriiXx]

I used to be involved in one of those women’s purity “cults” where although it wasn’t implied it was hinting towards that if we honor God with our body he will send us a man…and blessings. After all that’s what He did for the ring leader, She was obedient and He blessed her with her life and man… I came to realize that God does not work that way, He’ll send a man to a woman when He wants to. Doesn’t matter if she’s holding out or riding the c*ck carousel 🤷🏽‍♀️ because He works on His timing … realizing this and other things has led me to the questioning of my faith and if we’re already predestined to a certain life

[@tomysisters]

C*ck carousel had us rolling sis. Thank you for sharing your opinion and your experience, we definitely resonate strongly ❤️

[@radjaas_closet943]

This should be mandatory listening ! Loved it as always

[@Rimsha4peace]

Muslim sister here. Absolutely loved this and all your content ❤️

[@tomysisters]

What up sis! We love to see ya! Glad you enjoyed ❤️

[@nasyas99]

I have never been so early to a youtube video, I seriously love y’all!

[@tomysisters]

We love you ma! ❤️

[@Likeicare96]

I am not a Christian anymore so I don’t have the same POV of sex and purity, but I respect everyone else’s choices. However, what you said about the way purity culture has been misconstrued in many Christian circles really resonated with me. I remember when I was a devout believer, purity was about honouring god, as you guys believe right now, to me personally. But I didn’t see this as the mainstream POV in the way people acted. How many people would look for “technicalities?” ie. it’s just over the clothes, it’s just oral, etc. The point was only “it wasn’t realTM sex so it didn’t count.” It was very interesting how it wasn’t about god anymore but about your perceived value as a woman (because let’s be real, it didn’t apply to guys). I’m happy that even though i don’t believe anymore, there’s a new wave of women in the church who are able to practice purity and their faith but not subscribing to that harmful idea.

[@shanx4170]

Hey , I hope you dont mind me asking but what changed your decision on Christ/ not being a Christian anymore . ☺️

[@Likeicare96]

@@shanx4170 I don’t want to go into detail because I don’t want to step on other beliefs. But basically, it wasn’t one thing but a whole host of different factors: historical and scientific inaccuracies, biblical inconsistencies , and finally, the hypocrisy in the church I couldn’t ignore (the last one isn’t why I don’t believe, it’s more why I couldn’t even stay for the community). I don’t want to go into the weeds of it all because I don’t want to start a debate. Just know, I have read (watched/been preached at) basically every apologetic argument out there, and was not satisfied

[@tomysisters]

Hey sis, we so appreciate you for sharing and commenting. Irrespective of faith, your views and your analysis are on point and we agree with you. ❤️

[@VernitaIvelina]

This podcast is a blessing. As a Christian married woman I’m listening to this literally thinking yes yes and yes to everything being said. I’ve had a problem with purity culture for a long time but felt like a lot of people are not ready to talk about how damaging it can be. It’s refreshing to hear your perspectives 💗

[@mayling-montanalindsay6187]

I have so much respect for these ladies and I thank you for making this available to us to listen to and grow from. GOD BLESS YALL! So many of the points hit home for me. Especially defining what sexual liberation looks like to me. Thank you xx

[@ellea2541]

Courtney: ... or in someone's mouth... Me: 🤣 🤣 🤣 ♥

[@melianen6613]

Not me looking at myself with guilt 😂😂😂

[@ellea2541]

@@melianen6613 😂 We've all been there... Well, hopefully not the same There! 😅 🙈 🤣

[@Sandrinarhonda]

@@ellea2541 who is WEEE 😂😂

[@ellea2541]

@@Sandrinarhonda LOOOOOOOOOL

[@Sandrinarhonda]

@@ellea2541 😂😂😂 fr

[@rochelle1199]

Courtney is cracking me up in this episode 🤣🤣 Everything you both said was 10/10

[@ayarac]

Great episode! I would love to hear an episode about interacial relationships

[@lorettaxo2352]

This video needs to sink in...gems after gems 📝 The feeling in your body when the word it’s home. #Self Reflection

[@sarahzulu21]

Okay,I’ll admit I’ve been slacking but I’m back and this is fire🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@ayarac]

same sis lol

[@shadaygivans8040]

Jamaican sister here🇯🇲 love you guys so much❤❤

[@tomysisters]

Hey girl! All the way from the Islands??? We love it ❤️

[@awonderer]

21:00 Just saving this for myself because everything Courtney said after this made me cry and I have to listen to this part over and over

[@melianen6613]

You two should be invited to churches!!!!!!! African churches specifically!!!! I never liked the idea of being taught sex in church cuz it was weaponize in a way that girls my age were ashamed of being women, like how backwards is that. Down the point where birth controls were demonized. Needless to say that the ramifications of such thoughts were inevitable within that church.

[@sheba1307]

As someone who waited til marriage, I regret not experimenting more, it gets boring and I realized my “chasity” only benefited my husband in the end

[@qnd_20]

: thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssss chat was EVERYTHING!!!!! Thank you so much 😘

[@rejoicenyaungwa7660]

I don't usually comment on KZbin videos but this was excellent, a perfect show of critical thinking and understanding of 'self', i love the interrogation of social constructs and i genuinely appreciate the both of you.

[@abigailndalama2526]

I loved this so much I honestly wish I discovered this podcast sooner.❤

[@studywithbeck8535]

purity politics 23:45 love it 🤍

[@nenesaidwhatshesaid3151]

I think (this is from a Christian perspective) that when we think about purity and modesty it should be done with God and His word in mind instead of worrying about jimmy sitting next to you in church or the old church Aunty. Also, modesty is not just for women and it's not just about how we dress but also our hearts. Men can dress immodestly as well. Are we seeking attention, are we looking to impress people when we dress? In addition, I understand the idea of placing value on virginity, however, so much emphasis shouldn't be placed on it that it becomes your whole identity cause what happens if you lose it? Are you not valuable anymore? Virginity IS valuable but it shouldn't be put on such a high pedestal so much that we become broken when it's lost. Yes you may be sad if you were trying to wait but that doesn't mean you're worthless now. I also wish the church would address lust and other related topics with young girls. Usually what a lot of churches do with the youth is "girls be modest and be sexually pure, boys don't watch porn or lust after girls" when the reality is that girls and boys struggle with both. I really agree with what you said about men being seen as beasts cause I hear men speak about how some toxic women will shame them for not wanting to have sex with them like call them gay and say "he gon take it" (which is rapy). I think there are struggles for women AND men when it comes to sex culture in society. kzbin.info/www/bejne/r32no3ararVsfJI This is short video about lies of purity culture from the Christian perspective and I think it's really good.

[@toni8671]

I really love your take on this! In particular how men can practice immodesty ( as this is almost NEVER spoken about & think it also needs to be addressed) & I love how you spoke about ( in light of a Christian perspective) about measuring your lifestyle in accordance to the word rather than opinions. In this society it’s very easy to align to other people’s standards that somewhat resemble Gods word & in turn greatly miss what God *actually* intends for us to do/live by & end up adopting a legalistic mindset (living a works based lifestyle.) Women please do not be disheartened about your sexual past or sexual activity. Virginity does not define you as. A ‘good’ person, that comes from personality and the morals you ascribe to…not your virginity. Another amazing podcast episode! Absolutely loved this & I loved the conversation in the comment section to.

[@ruthnjeri8728]

Heyy ladies. I love your understanding on core issues we face. Was wondering if you would share feedback from the addressee in the dilemma section during the next video

[@Esther_OO]

the plant is a succulent lol, love this video x

[@arvinsenglishph4925]

Wow ya podcast enticed me so much! more podcasts guys!! love love from PH

[@ruth2396rd]

The audible gasp I did at the “left in someone’s mouth” comment 😂😂😭😭😭😭

[@breannajoseph2018]

where can i find the episodes not on youtube 😳

[@lesismora2712]

The podcast app

[@tomysisters]

Spotify and Apple podcasts lovely! ❤️

[@destnyluxurie]

What skill-share courses are you doing? I tried it in the heat of Covid but stopped because I felt like I was there due to all the hype, and had no idea what skills I wanted to advance. Do you know any good financial education courses?

[@tomysisters]

We'll share in mailing list ❤️

[@jupiterShoezR4Me]

Are there any "success stories" of women who've kept themselves pure for God and eventually married a good man and had a healthy relationship? I honestly feel like there arent any women that I can look up to or ask advice from who are either currenting living or lived this way of life prior to marriage( that actually end up happy). Like I dont want to surrender myself to just anybody, but feeling my eggs screeching at me every month isnt the best feeling either. Im trying hard to deaden my members but yo this is hard and Im starting to feel like I'll regret this in the future.

[@lizd6886]

Not beast😭😭😭😭 Courtney will not kill me today 😂😭😂

[@lizd6886]

She said pillows socks and down the toilet 😮😮😮😮😮😮 Courtney WHYYY 😭😭😭

[@tomysisters]

@@lizd6886 😆 😆 😆

[@oalatishe]

Hi ladies, I really enjoyed this episode but I disagreed with the last portion about telling others what to do. Lol hear me out first: as Christians (this is the POV I have so keep that in mind with feedback), I don’t think we should sugarcoat the truth and yes engaging in sexual activity/thoughts outside the rightful context (marriage) leads to negative consequences. I believe that in love is truth and no one is condemning but I don’t feel it’s right to take the approach of do whatever you like cause it’s misleading to the consequences. At the end of the day you cannot force anyone to make a stance they don’t want to and God gives us free will but I feel we are misleading as believers if someone (let’s say someone still new in the faith or interested in the faith) asks on how we should handle issues around sex and we’re basically like do what’s best for you. I am also taking into account that you ladies have a public platform and the podcast isn’t Christian-centered so much but yea, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

[@LimitlessBloom]

That is the typical Christian stance. I mean that’s what Christianity is about- sharing the truth. But on this internet you have to protect your sanity cos people love to come for people so I think they just kept it safe😅.

[@tomysisters]

Hey sis, thanks for disagreeing so respectfully! We appreciate you ❤️ As you noted, this is a public platform and not Christian-centred. We agree with everything you've said, and we've actually covered this standpoint in depth in a lot of our other episodes (on modesty and on sex - the real consequences being as extreme as sexual assault, sexually-transmitted disease, emotional ramifications). We are not supporters of the 'do whatever you like' club. We've highlighted over time that female agency is important (especially in the context of patriarchy) but not without consequences. If this podcast was only for Christians, our stance and our approach would fit that. As this is not the case, whilst we are Christians, we are not in the business of forcing or imposing our beliefs on others, without underscoring the importance of personal choice and leaving room for folks from other backgrounds, faiths and ethnicities, to chime in on a far wider conversation. So, whilst we agree in principle and have shared our own beliefs, there is much more nuance to this conversation which goes beyond the Christian principles we have in common. Hope that clarifies things, and thanks again for commenting! 😃❤️

[@TilaC]

A succulent plant?

[@tomysisters]

You're right haha!

[@LunsyHere]

That looks like a succulent of some sort! Not too sure which specie it is from this angle, but definitely not a cacti xD. Funny enough, all cacti are a type of succulent, though not all succulents are cacti.

[@tomysisters]

Haha thank you! 😂 ❤️

[@br33et]

Not Gaza Forever 😂😂😂

[@LifeWithTemms_]

Courtney did not need to go that hard, if I scream. Cut the cameras…. Deadass. 😟

[@rubthatglitter]

Or left in someone’s mouth... I- ☠️

[@lolo_z]

Sir!! You're not that big 😭😭😭😂😂😂

[@marylili5833]

minute 41 :) laughing too hard. cheeeiii!