Pushing People Away, Yet Wanting Closeness | Abandonment & Being Hurt

There are a variety of reasons we push others away. Some of which being fear, not feeling deserving, and even emotional problems. Overcoming this obstacle mostly has to do with building confidence, overcoming past traumas, and learning from your mistakes.
-CHAPTERS-
0:00 - Intro
1:38 - Why Do We Push People Away
4:47 - Overcoming It
8:15 - My Experience
10:30 - Conclusion
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#Abandonment #Closeness #Hurt

[@nymphicide]

i'm honestly so confused with myself. when i always think about how lonely i am, i start wishing for close friendships & relationships. but when someone new comes to me, i push them away and feel bad about it later on. the cycle keeps going on and i absolutely hate it. update: it's been 5 years ago since i commented this, and i recently just got evaluated and apparently i have traits of BPD. i am now getting treatment for it, for a year.

[@astiasti3787]

tragicramen me too

[@frostbyte8743]

tragicramen same here.... i got myself in a situation where someones trying to get close to me at 1st it was exciting and fun but now it feels like i'm gonna lose myself and my own freedom i hate it!

[@shelbykofficial]

Me too :(

[@senoritaaurora5123]

I'm the same. I get so scared of being hurt by someone. I'm very cynical of people, especially men. I have either picked people who like me far more than I like them (which ultimately feels safe but unfulfilling) or I simply push people who feel like a better match far away. I know I do it, but can't seem to stop. At a deep level I don't trust people.

[@jamesmalia4522]

Senorita Aurora This might sound too simple. I just had multiple convos with friends about things we know, and maybe want to change and we can do it fairly easily, IF just one friend gives u that tough love. Like we know the choice has to be different but for some weird human glitch reasoning, we sometimes literally need a human to tell us out of their mouth what we already know. So I’m telling you, next relationship that your heart and gut feels 90% good about, rewatch these vids, try to connect, be present, and be happy who you are, and tell them your concerns with past experiences of abandonment. Wether it’s perceived or a deep deep cut. If the person is supposed to be with you, then they’ll love you for it and you’ll be closer. You are worth nothing but a caring heart of you are also a truthful caring heart. Period. Don’t equate your time on anyone ever not giving an F for more than 2 tries. One life. Make it count. You are a beautiful being that has all the tools on you in this life. There really are plenty of fish. Find your inner happy where you’re smiling at yourself, (Self esteem) from being a productive caring human. And the world will provide. Never fear reaching out for help. Even from strangers. Peace and love to you!

[@alliehagan2182]

I push people away because I'm scared to hurt them. :(

[@unohu7178]

Allie Hagan SAME

[@nbashmurda6507]

Well atleast it’s not vice versa

[@Angel-xv7xo]

me too. i always do. i’m here if you need to talk.

[@lizakoshy1524]

Me too

[@bro0406]

I’d kill to be in your position. You have all the power. I hate being in the other position

[@taylorowens13]

Does anyone else feel lonely, even when there around other people? I’m so scared to connect with anyone because I don’t want to get hurt. My fear of being hurt and abandoned has caused me to push away the people I care about. I feel so empty and alone.

[@babryeashley2097]

Am

[@spnerys]

i feel this all the time

[@trapjaw7253]

Your not alone bud !

[@kolumbus1754]

Feeling alone when you're around people is the worse than being alone

[@Kaloapoele]

Yes. Tbh being lonely with people is worse than alone for me personally. It means they don’t know you well/maybe you aren’t letting them or they’re not trying. It could be anyone or no ones fault but personally I’ll skip a party and hang at home if I think the company might ultimately feel that way.

[@hotfriedgriyoandpeeklees1522]

I have always done this. I was raised in a traumatic environment, I never felt good enough, love was conditional, and I was reminded all the time that everyone was better than me. I would realize I was pushing, apologize, and then push again.

[@handfulloflove]

R.S. Ray-ez yes!!! Totally agree

[@nostalgicboy2031]

Can this be fixed

[@jeanjuju2187]

Can you give an example how this could look like? I also think I am doing this but I am not 100 % sure.

[@genissefranklin796]

Sometimes I push people away cuz I am afraid of getting hurt

[@iGIVEH2OPE]

Genisse Franklin What should I do if my friend abandoned me? We were getting romantic and I don't feel like my feelings were respected, I was giving and she was taking. She could never say "I love you" even though I knew I comforted her. I was upset with her and said some mean things. I want her back in my life but I feel it's too late. I feel so hurt.

[@handfulloflove]

Story of my life

[@paulcooper5748]

Me also.

[@MN-it3tv]

Exactly thats the main thing

[@susanastella7433]

Me too man

[@bichen-up-ur]

I don’t know why but I get uncomfortable when I find out someone has feelings for me and I gradually get distant with them. The feeling of being romantically liked by someone just makes me so uncomfortable.

[@ltsf]

Interesting, I'll try to remember to not tell people that I like them without making sure they dont have problems like that 🔎

[@deanna6742]

same 😅 there are so many times where someone tells me they like me and I start talking to them less

[@user-ey9ue8oh4l]

It gets awkward as hell !! So true 🥺

[@Gkigffcjlpsara]

Omg sameeeee i dont know why😭

[@Imsoprettyyk]

Same

[@alizaherum4301]

I'm afraid of being abandoned. That's why I like to stay alone. The moment when I see someone is coming closer I feel the need to go away or maybe disappear. It feels what if after knowing me they just leave me.

[@mskay9597]

hazel star Same here! You’re not alone

[@heatheralisa8658]

Alizah Erum yes same I had/still have a crush on someone and we are very good friends but when we discussed our feelings they wanted to stay as friends and I was really hurt so now it’s awkward and I wish we didn’t say anything at all. We can’t even hold a conversation more than 4 sentences :/ it really hurts

[@lizakoshy1524]

I swear that’s so me

[@rosachisi5600]

Same and to be honest its more painful when u really experience what u thought it might be.

[@arpitamishra6867]

True. I push people away because I am afraid after getting to know me they will leave me.

[@sharonswift8668]

My God that’s me to a t. I feel the SAME Way.

[@ladyfibonaccii]

I grew up hearing this from my siblings and my parents.

[@nielsen462]

😭 ME TOO

[@SinfulGoddess1]

♥️

[@will4us]

In a good healthy closeness relationship it’s possible to have both closeness and freedom as partners and as individuals. It’s knowing you’re free while being in a relationship/closeness but certainly not free if you don’t give closeness a try. It’s a state of mind ❤

[@agelessdinosaur7520]

Idk I used to be cheerful and friendly and open, but when you associate with a lot of people, you also meet a lot of negative ones. With just enough of them + the fatality of the damage they cause (for some reason I experience disappointment way more intensely than joy) they can really waste your ''social battery'' straight to the end and make you not want to associate with anyone at all.

[@daichisakura7011]

Ageless Dinosaur I'm experiencing that too, and honestly it's so frustrating

[@kevin1seven923]

Exactly me

[@almahoxha9146]

Sameee

[@NewYorkNadia]

You have Borderline Personality Disorder. Google it.

[@rawr7179]

I know right! I experience disappointment WAY more intensely than joy as well. I think it has to do with dissociation- like, kind of withdrawing or overthinking or backing away from the joyful emotion because of daydreaming. The actual definition of dissociation is “a mental process of disconnecting from one’s thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity... “. You disconnect from it at that moment in time. At any moment in time, it’s kind of become a habit for me. It can be experienced through simply daydreaming, or even pushing feelings down, like joy, by overthinking them so that you become nervous or fearful or even relaxed. Like you don’t care at all - whatever emotion, so the joy, or the actual feeling that you are feeling, is less noticeable.

[@PlexusCaeruleum]

For those who think pushing others away is reducing the risk of being betrayed, think again. You'll end up building walls around yourself, and eventually you'll just be trapped and lonely, for no-one will be able to help you. The only way to find people who will be true to you, is to go outside of your walls and see for yourself. Just don't get to attached to anyone until you know what they're like inside.

[@danniespokes4083]

I don't fully understand it myself but I don't really want any friends, I mean I do but I'd rather just have people I can chat with sometimes and can help/confide in each other and be very close with. I feel like I'm so obligated to meet up with people all the time and constantly talk and be interesting, I'm an introvert and have over time become a bit of a lone wolf, I can only manage 2 or 3 friends at a time, but its so draining. I know its selfish but its true and its so much easier to do everything myself and then sometimes sit with or chat with someone. but people just think you're an antisocial weirdo who has no friends, you know?

[@tink040370]

Me too! It wasn't always this way. Isolation just feels so comfortable right now.

[@Haghenveien]

I can completely relate. For me being with people is draining. It's not that I don't like people nor that I'm an antisocial, it's just that I really need time on my own to recharge becouse for me interacting with people is so energy consumming. When someone comes to talk to me, I really apreciate it, and I really want them to do it but at the same time I'm thinking all the time "Please go". I just can't help it. And I know that people can tell by my body language and it makes me sad because I don't want them to feel rejected because It hasn't anything to do with them.

[@ardenslip8307]

i have rhe same issue but i think it comes down to the ability to truly listen

[@agelessdinosaur7520]

Same. I mean all that effort and emotional investment you need to put into an actual bonding with someone seems like a legitimate heavy physical work for me at this point. Even worse if they fuck it up or just take it for granted and then it's all for nothing. What a huge waste of energy.

[@artographyj.g9452]

same

[@carolinequinn7088]

I'm so scared that people will leave me or hurt me so I push them away but at the same time I feel alone I HATE IT

[@leannehickey1986]

Is there anything anyone can do to get close to you? Someone i care about is pushing me away and its hurts so much. X

[@maemagnolia3834]

Caroline Quinn someone I love brings me snacks & a hug, I go within myself when I am experiencing grief, I’m also very lucky I have a dog who makes me walk outside everyday and a lovely people who stop by to see me because they love me.

[@sydneylee492]

I'm an antisocial extrovert.

[@keyrussell2567]

me to

[@sydneylee492]

someone finally gets it lmao

[@keyrussell2567]

add me on snapchat if you want, key.russell

[@LIVdaBrand]

People suck

[@ike4584]

@@keyrussell2567 Get em KEy!

[@agrotta1650]

I notice I feel like friendships put too much responsibility on me that I cannot handle/keep up with. I feel like others except too much from me and I cannot deliver such as being a consistent communicator.

[@SinfulGoddess1]

♥️

[@carolemarie8039]

I push away and don't realize that's what I did until a long time afterwards. I can't figure out why I felt that way, I knew I loved them but still kept pushing.

[@jannellerodriguez2038]

Pushing people away is one way of avoiding intimacy. In fact, this avoidance can act as a defense mechanism for people afraid of getting hurt in relationships. Even if you think you've healed from a past relationship that ended badly, worries about further rejection might linger in your subconscious.

[@derekt7206]

Honestly I stumbled onto your video and I SERIOUSLY needed to hear this. Greatly appreciated.

[@Poetic_Madness1]

I hope one day I can get to the point where you are! The timing of this video was impeccable. I feel I've been going back and forth from fear to clinging in relationships. so much fear is involved. thanks so much for this video and all the others I've watched. wonderful job!

[@andrealevy8482]

Wow. This brought tears to my eyes. Exactly what I needed to hear. It all makes sense. Thank you

[@9876bbb]

I just feel all my relationships are temporary and therfore pointless. My grandparents left to New Zealand when I was 5/6 without telling me. I think this adversely effected me

[@schofield4836]

Some push people away as punishment for when they feel neglected and/Or to gain a sense of autonomy and control when they’ve been unable to control the loneliness they feel

[@mlitt1995]

Goodness Autumn, you describe me so perfectly it's as if we have been friends for years..I need to self reflect.

[@CR-vb6eq]

I used to have friends and I used to really want more friends and be really social but now I honsetly feel nothing. I'm not exaggerating but I just dont feel like bothering to even try to talk to people. I dont have any friends anymore and when my old friends try to talk to me I just cant make myself put in the effort.

[@simrankaur2292]

Literally the same and idk what to do :/

[@adamkaufmann3301]

You write these so well. You eloquently express, inform and educate. I have wondered if you write it out in one sitting or work on it for a while. I have shared your videos with someone who is much older and they have done a ton of self-help/recovery and they were also really impressed with how you are able to make these videos so informal to the public.

[@althepal234]

I always get angry at people and snap, then push them away. Even if they forgive me, I don’t want to lash out at them again. So I push them all away.

[@laylaw6460]

I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate you and your videos. They have helped me more than you can imagine. Thank you so much, and thank you for being such a beautiful person, inside and out.

[@leahduggan2527]

Truueeeee

[@adrianaayala7745]

I love you Autumn. thank you so much for your words. you help me clear up my thoughts every time and that really helps me.

[@adarumusic6435]

I really needed this video. Thank you; I've been watching your videos for years and this one is one that has really hit home the most

[@shikshak5928]

this video was very helpful. as someone with bpd, i find myself very alone and helpless when it comes to relationships because of my disorder. i tend to push people away, and it can be a lot like a rollercoaster ride with those i actually manage to get close to. this had better advice than any of my therapists have ever given me. your videos have always helped me a lot and tend to cheer me up when i'm going through a bad time. thank you very much for making it!

[@atolm1]

I've recently discovered you and find you to have become a light for me. Thank you for sharing of yourself and your wisdom in order to help us heal.

[@dontreadmynamewhydidyourea8008]

Thank you! You don't know this but this was a big problem for me in the past but now I feel I'm improving, and your video helped me do that😌 It means the world to me!

[@millieisacoolgirl]

it drains me to talk to people or date someone like I can’t I get so tired of them but still be loving them at the same time

[@GamingJojoWorld]

I only push friends away who take advantage of me. I only keep those friends who care for me.

[@ZebraCupcake101]

same

[@delrey7175]

applause cuz u know what's up

[@nefelibata4190]

I bet you are super delusional when it comes to who really cares about you or not.

[@thomasbaron5367]

Gaming Jojo nobody cares for me :'(

[@hiefia8568]

Thomas Baron Deep down, you know that's not true

[@CandysChannel]

I definitely can see parts of myself in this, thanks so much for this video!!

[@elodeagg457]

Very helpful video. Thank you so much for posting this. You said just the words I needed to hear, to continue my journey of facing my fears of letting others get close. Thank you so much! ❤️

[@lillith8444]

I pushed everyone away. Intentionally. I did this completely aware of it and I wanted everyone to be gone. And when they all left I did feel relieved and free. I felt so at peace with myself. But everything just kept getting worse and worse. Now it’s been over a year and I have not had a single social interaction that was not forced or necessary. I am so incredibly lonely. I actually fell into maladaptive daydreaming. Also I now have issues even talking. I just haven’t had anyone to talk to in a year and so I never had the chance to. Now I get anxious and panic whenever I do have to speak in front of anyone. I feel like I can’t breathe. I get so overwhelmed. I struggle with panic attacks. I don’t know what to do. I tried talking to my mother about this as she is the only person in my family I am able to converse with. But she only told me it was my own fault because I was the one who isolated myself and ran away from everyone. She told me those are the consequences of being as asshole and isolating myself. She got so angry at me for being sad about being lonely. I am disgusted by my own self pity. Obviously what she told me is correct, so I can’t go running around whining about this to other people like I did with my mom. But I also know I cannot be with this alone anymore. I don’t see an escape out of this. I don’t know what to do.

[@kennongilson2768]

One thing that I've found has helped is to be fully still and present in those moments, and let go of as much daily stress as you can, and to do things that get your heart going. I think that when you are used to carrying a lot of emotional stress and then have to suddenly relax all of that tension, it spreads everything too thin, and your body has to readjust itself so that it can let itself be free.

[@SinfulGoddess1]

Talk to a therapist. Counsellor. It may feel like they won’t understand but they will. Try it ♥️

[@SinfulGoddess1]

You can heal this. I promise.

[@SinfulGoddess1]

It took many repeated behaviours to get you here. So to get out, it’s gona b the same. Pick something. A behaviour. An action. Decide your gona do that one thing every day. Obv something u stopped doing that was good for you. Even if it feels sh*tty. Do it. (I like walking) After you feel comfortable, choose another. Key is once you decide, there’s no excuses. You do it. You’ll gain confidence that you can come back and not just survive in the real world, but you can thrive. Much love.

[@korarownicki7947]

Thank you so much for this video!!! I actually am in this kind of situation right now, and you're video helped me so much!! You're such a lovley person

[@MrTheLionKing1986]

Beautiful. Deep. Well explained. Well worded. Engaged. I could go on and on and on. Thank you Autumn :) xo

[@SYEDFURY]

At last there’s someone who understood me and my feelings. Thank you for conveying this. Thank you sister🤍

[@unbelaneablebeautyy]

Wow I closed my eyes, listened to this and cried a very necessary cry. I’ve been bottling a lot of emotions from the past few months from losing my job to recovering from an injury and having to rely on others (feeling like a burden). Then I began to think about my past relationships, friendships and things that hurt me. This video really opened my eyes and now I’m ready to address the things that have hurt me throughout childhood to now

[@VMeow-nu4nz]

I love your videos! You have great insight and it is clear you have paid attention to the lessons life had showed you and have grown from your challenges! Thanks for sharing and helping! love!

[@Erakkohemuli]

Omg thank you so much for this video! Really good points. I am dealing with these issues right now and have been for a long time

[@mariafalcon2711]

you explain things in a way I wish I could explain it myself. I can barely text because the little girl inside me that was so rejected is flooding my self. thank you again.

[@helenlynn1839]

thanks for this Autumn, I was literally thinking about this topic today!

[@akshaysharmaist]

Thank you. This is a reflection! I lost the love of my life due to insecurity, fear and falling out of love and I relate to this video in every sense. Thank you! Thank you! I just am speechless ❤️

[@rubymarkland-bement6259]

Thank you so much this is such a great video and it has helped me a lot! I've learned a lot and I'm gonna TRY to change my mindset from negative to positive😊

[@dankswansonverydank]

I love this channel so much. I've been going through so much and this video kind of helped me.

[@oliviasavage7400]

I block everyone, I love them but I don’t want them to bring meaning into my life I don’t want them to make me feel happy IDK WHY

[@blueflame3531]

Circumstances make us that way.

[@htfcm]

I know I'm weird because I like to talk to people at times when I feel like it, but other than that, I really don't like being around people. I really feel like relationships require too much attention. I like to keep conversations minimal, I don't like giving affection, I don't like being friendly or "nice". Not to say I am mean but I have no interest in others unless I can get some kind of value that benefits me. I know that people believe that's selfish but to me, it's just normal and rational.

[@NewYorkNadia]

You're a classic Narcissist. Google it. Not judging, just trying to provide guidance so you can understand yourself.

[@AL-cv3qt]

@@NewYorkNadia lol.

[@cindyhonorato510]

Whoa this is exactly how I feel, sometimes I think I’m bipolar or that something is very wrong with me...

[@Typical53]

You’re what’s wrong with the world.

[@cindyhonorato510]

typical wank You know if I was sucidal that would have pushed me to kill myself.... lucky for me I’m not 😂

[@johannavejarromero3789]

I like when you talk from your perspective by telling your experience, that's awesome.

[@Anaybx]

every time I watch your videos I feel like am watching an educational video I might see in school. it's really good quality and I can definitely agree to what your saying.

[@friendsnation7195]

thank u for this video. u had ur own experience and then turned it around so u could help others. thank u.

[@-anothersarah-8803]

I have made some really close friends who I’ve been separated from (moving to another country/ or just another state) and I love them all but I seriously cannot keep the relationship. I suffer from loneliness because of this but whenever my friends actually want to talk, I feel awkward and get annoyed by them. I feel like I’m such a terrible friend but I can’t control it, I think it must have to do with my depression, cause I just push important people I love away.

[@imlaughing2death]

I don't know about anyone else, but whenever I see a new video by Autumn, I drop what I'm doing on watch it immediately.

[@bryanfuchs1512]

My ex girlfriend and I both have abandonment issues. I have no doubt we triggered those issues when we were together. For her, she pushes people away when the two start getting closer and closer to each other. For me, the closer I get to someone, I just want to latch on and never let go. So, our attachment styles might be opposite, but it all boils down to fear of abandonment. I miss her so badly, but it is nice to know that this is why she wishes to keep her distance. It’s better to know that than to make up some story in my mind that she hates me.

[@mercedesflores2250]

I don't know why i push people away. I just put up a wall and typically only show the happy side of me, i'm scared of being intimate with others...

[@jamesmalia4522]

One of OR the best life changing video I’ve ever watched. THANK YOU! You genuinely, presently, heartfully, simplified a convo I just had with a fairly known Dr. friend of mine who I met by rescuing them as a Lifeguard 20 plus years ago. You are magnificent, and brilliant beyond. You just made multiple profound clicks and understanding channel changes in my mind. I literally feel like I just won the lottery with serendipitously coming across this video after the talk I just had. You made so many points that I never knew existed, clear as glass. I’m blown away, Thank You for patiently selflessly breaking it down and giving new eyes as a tool is truly priceless. You are wonderful!!! And you have beautiful calming genuine present caring energy. Thank you! I’ll never forget this. #profoundlygrateful #thensome #thankyou

[@supermary8482]

Thank You Autumn. You have a beautiful heart.

[@rochellekaake4284]

I love your voice & your calming spirit. It always helps me feel better. I know ppl tell u that all the time, but u truly are a beautiful person inside & out. ♡ you : - )

[@cosmiclight81]

Thank you so much for making this video! I think I'll show this to the next potential partner to help them understand me more! This could help make the next relationship work.

[@nephthysn4003]

Thank you so much for understanding the facts so clearly ❤

[@sandravovin]

Wow that's a very powerful video, professionally done, and you look beautiful :)

[@katia-6890]

I always struggled with my self confidence and fears. I'm still working on it and I'm still very far from getting some results. Funny the timing of this video.. I just met a person recently, after being alone for so long.. I've been hurt from so many friends lately that I'm just on my own all the times.. and I'm scared of letting this new person in, because I had bad experiences with my relationships too..it's very hard to change. But it helps watching your videos Autumn. Reminding us we do have this issues and we HAVE to think and DO something about our issues and NOT hide them into some kind of closet deep in our brain.. I've been watching lots of your videos and I wish many other people would watch them too, but also would understand them and take you as an example. I'd really like to get to know you in person and hug you because you do try your best to help A LOT, and you talk about subjects that so many people want to avoid or they think are silly things.. but for others are very big issues and traumas in life and many of us feel like no one would understand how we feel. And there is when I found your videos. :)

[@user-mv3pk5ur7z]

You've helped me a lot. Thank you so much.💛

[@FireballFever]

Wow, so relatable! Thank you for your helpful advice and insight!

[@1969strangelove]

Yesterday I was able to watch your first video. I take your words as good advice. I hope to be able to change the way I see people ultimately change myself for the better. Thanks

[@Devotchka161]

There's only so much pushing one can take. Do it enough and they finally just leave, or get pushed into someone else's arms.

[@ladyoftheveil8342]

Heyyy! Girl! I haven't seen you on you tube in years! wow! Good to see you Goddess!

[@gregbond8030]

Thank you for your time and wonderful advice x

[@Thu_Vu]

Autumn looks especially beautiful in this video. It gives me kind of a late summer vibe cause of the dress/shirt. :D

[@ankurmotwani5445]

The quality of information grew up with time this video, great content. Thank you

[@clarkkent2816]

Good. Video. I’d never thought that the fear of not being good enough would push people away. Im in love with a woman who feels like this. She would get really mad when I’d buy her things from time to time. So I’ve learned to give her lots of space, be consistent, listen and I have a ton of patience. She’s slowly changing the difference in her is incredible to watch. It’s been a year so far but I’m willing to stay the course.

[@jorgee24]

Great Video Autumn!!!

[@JPSullivanMusic]

needed that, thank you.

[@alexandragolovenko3097]

You are so beautiful and wise! So deep and soulful. Thank you for your work and videos

[@keyrussell2567]

thank you for this video.. i really needed it

[@charliehill6762]

I experienced horrible rejection from someone I loved when I was younger. I'm afraid this has changed my feelings towards relationships as I will not let anyone near me in any romantic way. I will even go as far as telling someone I'm in a relationship even if I'm interested in them. 😔 don't know what to do 😞

[@tudio851]

Charlie Hill I'm not gonna lie the same thing with me I meet someone and it's all cool and stuff but I guess just because I'm talking to someone I get bad anxiety like idk how to explain just me talking to someone it's gets anxiety idk what it is I'm a colllgee freshman

[@NewYorkNadia]

Stop. Simple as that. Whoever rejected you in the past is not the same person who is standing before you today. You were rejected? Tough. That's life. We've all gone through it. But that's over now. You are reliving it because you chose to. Let it go, it already happened. As long as you keep holding onto the past, you will never move on; you'll remain stuck there. Is that really what you want? If yes, then keep doing what you're doing. If not, then realize and accept that everyone experiences loss; it's a fact of life. Your situation isn't unique in any way. You can choose to be a victim forever or you can choose to understand that these things happen and move on. There is a lot of joy in life but as long as you are focused on the negative that is all you will ever experience. Good luck.

[@nene90047R1]

This is me I push reject ppl away yet I want them in my life , but my fear of abandonment gets in the way after they notice my mental health issues they’ll go away on their own and that it’s more hurtful to me than pushed them away.

[@shahilagh]

Such a nice video. You explained a variety of reason up to the point. Thank you ! I m gonna look into your other videos. I push some people away (those who have a family of their own- I don’t have any one) because I know I m not that important to them and I would get attached … So I think if they go now it is better for them and me…

[@agntD]

aaaaa you are the best! i love you! thank you!

[@karmasutra4774]

I push away because of things from my past I am sure. I push people that get too close because they start asking me for money and that tends to happen quite a bit, so I keep some distance to avoid it.

[@HanemanHunters]

I really like your videos. I didn't suffer any hardcore trauma in my childhood but I went through some stuff (schizophernic & alcoholic father) which definitely had impact on my personality. I'm currently really serious about "inner engineering" and development and I'm having so much fun with it. I relate (to some extent) to some of the things you discuss in your videos. I'm sure you're helping maaaany maaaany people :) Keep that content coming! BTW: You remind me of thatASMRchick a lot. Not in this particular video but in some other ones :)

[@oforts9068]

Krabman p

[@chloethemessenger]

This was so helpful. Thank you sssoooooooo much 🌸

[@IncandescentLightbulb]

I know this video is old, but I'm shocked at how many people feel the exact same way as I do. Committing to friends and family plans drains me and it feels it's expected to socialize so often but ever since I got married and finished college and am more career-focused now... anything that isn't my husband or my job becomes too overwhelming. Family and friends say they care but then will say things that imply that something is wrong with me... but it's just the kind of person I am. I never had the words before... but now I know how to explain it.

[@Toku91]

Wish my ex girlfriend was like you ( planning to sel the house). if i may give you 1 example.. Im 32 years of age while she is 31 years old. I got nothing from my side so i worked and saved 25k to buy a house while she got 45k from her parents and only 5k she worked for. I have no mother(belgium) anymore (died 2015 cancer) and my father never looked after us(Nigerian). Tbh i don t know what to do from here. Im stuck and can t rely on nobody. Thnaks for listening

[@Dialyn]

This was great. Thank you. 🙏

[@JULYHAPPENS]

I feel so alone and it is in fact my fault and I can't get over the feeling that I am horrible and destroy everything good around me even if it lasts for a little while. I miss the person I used to talk to every minute of every day but now it is so few and far between and I feel so overwhelmed and sad and upset at myself. I wish my dad was here to help me. I wish these old scars would just stop hurting me...they hurt everyday in a way I had no idea they would...I just wonder if my family members that hurt me emotionally even care they did this to me...and then I wonder why do I blame everyone but myself...I'm so confused

[@naijanp]

So damn relatable.. Take care i wish better days ahead for you❤

[@sharingan1249]

I relate to you. I push everything away. Im scared i cant keep an actuall friendship now and now my closest bestfriend is replacing me and i just wish my dad would help me i wish i had a father figure to help me and i dont know what to do anymore, my old friends are all toxic and never have a good talk with me. I dont have anyone and i just wish i would die allready

[@sharingan1249]

Yet im scared of death

[@SinfulGoddess1]

♥️

[@bogdanmitrache3676]

Thanks! You helped me a lot! :)

[@jongsulee2698]

you really help me with my problems. thanks Autumn.

[@krowkovtuber]

i'm breaking down and have the insane urge to block everyone out of my life and telling myself "you're alone, no one will ever understand you", but i want to change this vicious cycle SO BAD and i stumbled upon your video... thanks for offering calm and straightforward information. i'm still in a panic but this is helping me face my issues...

[@SinfulGoddess1]

We are all so much more similar than we realize. Fear tells us otherwise. ♥️

[@ing.millionen5851]

even am a straight person but I like to hear your voice before going to sleep... and thank you for this video.. I hope you the best and i respect you :)

[@candacelynn8922]

you are so precious!! thanks for sharing

[@iI9876543210]

this was very helpful, thank you very much.

[@senoritaaurora5123]

Thank you for this.

[@marks7067]

Me, i push people away because i dont want to be loved, been hurt emotionally and got angry. I figure if im alone i wont get mad. im usually happier when im alone than socializing with others inculding family.

[@sammycraftxo]

I find that once in a while I have to take breaks from everyone. May it be a few days, weeks or a month. I know it’s selfish to push people away, I don’t want them to be worried for my safety, but somehow I always fall back into the cycle. I just disappear for a while and only come back because I have to. It hurts having your mind as the only company and can drive you nuts, but at the same time whenever I’m with or talk to a friend, I always overthink everything and anything. My thoughts get really toxic to where I’m only hurting myself. So I just leave. It hurts when I’m with or when I’m alone. In the end I only have myself, but in the end I need someone there. It’s extremely hard to find balance.

[@spencergoth1cgutz205]

I start fights out of nowhere, search for reasons for them to leave, tell them the reasons, feel miserable yet that I deserve it, tell them I’m sorry I hurt them and cry all night long. I’m so afraid people will leave I just want to speed up the process so it won’t hit me like a truck.

[@SinfulGoddess1]

♥️

[@Janelle_Talks]

Yess so spot on!!

[@maniok1977]

I find difficult trusting people... very difficult.

[@paulcooper5748]

Me also.

[@fidelpadron8293]

same bro lucky for me i can survive a long time without having anotheir presence.

[@chanelknight6880]

I can totally relate. Thanks for the video

[@jeremywright9511]

You are very insightful. Perhaps one day I will be able to share my own insight in video form :)