Q&A while making a Victorian Folding Letter || loneliness, marriage & travel

ad Use my code RUBY2025 to get 20% off all Wild products for a limited time only www.wearewild....
0:00 intro
4:00 tea & starting the folding letter
6:47 do you have travel plans for this year?
8:15 do you plan to marry / are you dating?
11:09 why do you write letters?
13:33 kindle vs. physical books
15:18 favourite current musical artist?
17:12 how do you stay so focused when studying?
20:13 what do you want to be career-wise?
20:41 do you plan on writing/publishing a book?
23:24 can you film a video reading romance booktok books?
25:06 are you lonely and how do you deal with loneliness?
28:56 do you have KZbin friends?
29:48 who are your favourite influencers?
30:09 why don't you have many friends?
30:59 would you write a historical Victorian novel?
31:19 do you have your driving license?
32:42 do you think your fashion has changed, and how would you describe your style?
35:04 outro
Find Me Elsewhere -
Pumpkin Productivity (my stationery company): bit.ly/3wgsR85
Writing Website: www.rubygrange...
instagram: @_rubygranger
tiktok: @rubygranger8
email (business enquiries only please): [e-mail]

[@scallop-shell-of-quiet]

I'm a 28 year old woman and I've come to the conclusion that romantic relationships are not for me. Being able to admit that to myself has eased so much anxiety I used to have surrounding this issue. I realized the only reason I wanted a relationship was to please other people and appear "normal" to them. Thank you for being yourself, Ruby. ☺ Platonic love, familial love, and self-love are also extremely fulfilling. 💗

[@MadamoftheCatHouse]

Are you an ace?

[@ClassicalEnthusiast]

@@MadamoftheCatHouseapart from being 4 out of 52 cards what do you mean by the use of the word “Ace”?

[@PluralPolyglots]

​@@ClassicalEnthusiast Ace is short for "asexual", someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction to anyone regardless of sex or gender ^^

[@MadamoftheCatHouse]

@@ClassicalEnthusiast Asexual.

[@PineappleOnPizza69]

@@ClassicalEnthusiastasexual. People like making new words nowadays to feel good about themselves

[@nadeeshani]

I feel so validated by those words you said about not wanting to get married. Ever since I graduated (now I'm 25) everyone around me ask from me about marriage. I used to brush it off and never give much thought to what others say. But then seeing my friends being in relationships and telling me how I'm "weird" for wanting to be like this has recently become a stressor for me. Hearing your answer to that question truly healed my heart. It's like a best friend reassuringly telling me that it's okay to be me. Love you Ruby! ❤

[@andreav83]

Everyone is different, so it's NEVER 'weird' to be exactly who you are. To me, it's 'weird' to confirm just to make others happy, while you stress about it. You know what I mean? I felt somewhat the same as you in my twenties. Now that my friends and I are in our early fourties, we all respect each others' choices. In fact, we have for a very long time already. Your friends will also get older and wiser, and realise it's not such a big deal to make different decisions to them, so remember this and don't stress about it again. You've got this!

[@nadeeshani]

@@andreav83 You have no idea how reassuring these words are! They mean a lot to me. Thank you so much for making my day a little better by sharing kindness 💗🥰

[@MithrilMagic]

Re: Being lonely…as someone who grew up as basically an only child (my brother is 12 years my senior) I enjoyed my own company very much. I too enjoy reading, walking, crafting, listening to music, etc… My parents worried about it but as I became older I think they realized as long as I was happy in my own company and not suffering from “loneliness”, I would be fine. A Tree Grows In Brooklyn is my favorite book of all time and the way Francie talks about books, like old friends, is exactly how I feel about books. Opening a favorite book feels like coming home. 😊 As for people asking if/when you’ll get married, I was the same way. I ALWAYS said, from the time I was a child, that I would never get married. I had NO interest in even dating. However, I met my husband when I was in college, I was a senior and we had to do a project together. We made each other laugh and we enjoyed “reading dates”. Basically we would meet up at our school library, drink tea and read a book together in silence. Then we would talk about it. Eventually the talks grew longer and longer. And fast forward to 20 years later, we’re married and we still read and drink tea every evening. 😂 We also take walks after dinner every evening. But he lets me be who I am and I do the same for him. We honor each other’s independence. That’s the most important thing. ❤

[@MicheleBlumberg-u6n]

well-as long as we are mentioning our ages- I am 73 (!) and agree with everyone of your points about friends, and about values, and books and letters and your way of being in general. You should be proud that you appeal to people of so many ages and generations- true sign of your own maturity and thoughtfulnes, in my opinion.

[@SparkyStevens1967]

Yep 57 year old here and I love Ruby's uploads.She is such an interesting and personable person and she speaks beautifully. Her uploads are so calming and focus on the good stuff of life.❤

[@sarahogborn8024]

I’m 29 and I’ve never been in a relationship or have much desire to date! I’m more in the camp of, if I find someone I like well enough to want to spend my life with, then that’s wonderful, but if that doesn’t happen, that’s wonderful too and I don’t have any interest in actively pursuing romantic relationships! There are so many forms of love besides romantic and pursuing those are just as valid and important as romantic love!! 💕

[@lmaolol6337]

ahhh that's exactly how I feel too. I'm not totally repulsed or against the idea like some people are, but it's also never something I've felt the need to seek out actively. I'm happy regardless and I hope to continue being that way. I've also never dated anyone (or even had a crush( for the past 20+ yeas of my life. It's nice seeing someone else in the same boat.

[@anneosullivan4107]

Dearest sweet Ruby, I've made it all the way to my 60s unmarried. I'm so glad you are comfortable and confident in who you are. I lacked that and suffered for it but still I remained true to myself. I was also slow and nervous to drive. It took time. I failed 3 times and got a full licence on the 4th attempt. But, over 30 years on I'm still driving with a clean slate. Take your time. Live for now. You're doing great. Best wishes. 🥰

[@myrtila]

Aw that’s inspirational because I struggle with driving too!

[@vickyrushton1523]

I am 44 years old, single, and always have been and have absolutely no interest in getting married. I enjoy my sovereignty and freedom. 😊

[@spinstercatlady]

Same! 44 and single and quite happy. I do have some concerns around aging alone, but for now, life is pretty good 👍

[@carolpingel39]

53 here, never married, and I feel the same way.

[@blimeyifancyreading]

Thank you - much needed to hear this.

[@thetragicyouth]

Loneliness is just a negative framing of solitude, or perhaps unwanted solitude. Many of us thrive on solitude - so many wonderful activities (reading, swimming, art galleries, museums, cinema) are best enjoyed solo. ❤ You have the best of both worlds, Ruby - you can speak, on your channel, to hundreds of thousands of people from the cosy solitude of your bedroom!

[@jodieturnerx]

Sometimes I feel like questions about dating, marriage etc.. come across as quite invasive. Not everyone wants that in their future and that is ok! 💛

[@lauraelisee]

And kids! Once you’re married it’s all when are you gonna have kids!!

[@anjanashyam9333]

Yup I never ask. If someone volunteers information about their relationship status, that's fine but I NEVER ask it's a violation of privacy imo

[@Krocanix]

@@lauraelisee And when you have one, there´s always question about second one.... never ending story :D

[@romysv]

@@lauraelisee that sounds like a nightmare! I'd like a significant other but don't want kids.

[@surlenil]

When I was in my 20s people would ask about marriage and dating on say, my graduation day or when my studies or career were going well, and then when I got married they 1. started asking about children and 2. starting making snide remarks about the career hit I took after an international move / having children. I think a lot of these questions are meant to drag someone down by pointing out an area they perceive to be lacking. Like some crazy tall poppy syndrom masquerading as concern.

[@cindyr4918]

Thank you for this video, Ruby, and your honesty - it is refreshing to see that so many women in this comments section do not feel that they "need" or want marriage. I enjoy being single and I am not scared to do anything alone - I've always had the attitude that if marriage happens, it happens, but I won't be sad if it never does.

[@martaf.8405]

The way you articulate and talk about the joys of solitude is quite beautiful. I find so heartwarming to listen to these reflections that resonate so much with my own feelings about introspection and solo activities. Thank you Ruby, I've followed your videos for a few years now and I really love and appreciate your content. Wish you the best ❤

[@GellyB]

I'm 38 and I'm so not interested in mariage or relationship. I'm a lone wolf, I love my own company and my freedom, peace of mind, etc. There is no way I'll give that up 😌

[@emilyvi44]

Whenever I watch one of your videos I always find myself so uplifted and refreshed. I wasn’t feeling very motivated for the week ahead but you have a way of romanticising life and making everything feel magical. I feel like I’ve spent time with a good friend 🥰

[@emeliewhittley5564]

On the theme of not being interested in marriage (and romantic relationships if I interpreted it correctly) - have you read Loveless by Alice Oseman? It's about a character who is aromantic and asexual, which is a pov that is not often seen in pop culture. It's a lovely book about friendships and finding your own path when "everyone else" is so focused on romantic relationships.

[@EllieLaDes]

I think she was reading this book a while ago because it appeared in one of her videos. I really want to know what she thinks of it after she reads/read it

[@jh48167]

Your honesty and your lack of ego in sharing the hiccups in your work and career life as well as the triumphs reflect your kind, open, and honest character. Your name is apt, Ruby. You are a gem.

[@rhythmicelegance4670]

A lot of people are more trouble than they are worth. I never dreamt of getting hitched or anything that went along with it. Cultivating one’s own lifestyle and independence is vital! It’s quite unusual to come across anyone truly suitable and worthy of such distraction and effort for a lifetime, though it does exist for some individuals. It’s also generally important not to become too dependent on another person in any aspect, no matter how ideal, because it’s unpredictable how long they voluntarily or involuntarily will be around for. Looking forward to the travels and making that Victorian project! ♥️

[@jzinchy]

The marriage question is always left unanswered when my relatives decide that it's such a great idea to bring it up during our gatherings. I used to think that this is something mandatory and was worried that there's something entirely wrong with me. I only had one serious relationship in my life and luckily it was with an absolutely amazing person, so I have no negativity towards dating at all, BUT I just can't do it. I love reading about it, watching someone else being happy together, but I enjoy the quiet nights, the late mornings, the long walks with my friends, the time I get to spend doing my favourite things whenever I want... I've started noticing how the family life affected some of my acquaintances and it upsets me so much. The brightest girls I used to know have lost their sparkle in a matter of months. Not all, of course... But it scares me to the bone. I might not be the most brilliant person out there, but I'm not ready to lose what I have, and there's never a guarantee that my relationship/marriage is going to be one of the happy ever after ones.

[@pelizabeth22]

I didn't want to get married growing up, assuming it would be an end to my freedom, and/or toxic like my parents' relationship. But then I met my husband and realized that, for me (definitely not the case for everyone!), the desire to be independent stemmed from wanting to protect myself from getting hurt. Once I met someone who became my safe space, life became much more vibrant, and I was challenged to grow in ways I never could have alone. Now we have a baby and while there are days I wish I had more time to myself, ultimately, I'm glad God granted me with this delightfully unexpected life. I've become more Ma Ingall's than Jo (without being forced to), and after fighting it for so long have come to terms with that new identity and love myself more for it than before.

[@annaariza1575]

Thats beautiful!

[@pelizabeth22]

@@annaariza1575 Thank you :)

[@artisticromance]

Also - I think as you get older (I'm 36), the number of friendships we have decreases and we realise the importance of REAL friendships and not the numerous people you kind of socialise with superficially when you're younger. If you have one or two close friends, you're already winning. To have 4-5 as Ruby mentions is incredible. If you're younger, I would suggest you value quality > quantity. When social media ends, consider who will actually keep in touch with you offline.

[@CharlotteParker-u7t]

I have never had the desire for marriage or even the desire for a romantic relationship. I have always thought there was something wrong with me and I should be somewhat ashamed of it. It has only been in the last year that I have let myself accept it. Some people want to be wife, some want to pirates, me? I just want to be free of societal pressures. And, even though I have accepted it for myself, I find that more and more people think I’m odd or pretending. I’m not pretending, I’m not hiding anything from myself. Marriage and romantic relationships are just not for me.

[@jane9875]

Same here !

[@wills681]

So many positive, thoughtful comments about romantic relationships in this comments column. As you asked... marriage and dating: for me it's always about been meeting someone who complements the life I already enjoy rather than *hoping* that someone else will enhance my life.

[@shelleydenison]

Ruby, you are such a gem. I feel like watching your videos does something healing for my inner weird-girl, if that makes sense. Like, it's so easy to fall in line with all of the expectations of what adult women are "supposed" to care about or do with our lives, and I love your gentle rebellion against that. ❤❤

[@RKhere97]

how are you grown and still don't know that this is backhanded? "inner weird girl" yikes, seems like outer isnt much better

[@shelleydenison]

@@RKhere97 I think there might be a cultural difference here in interpreting the word "weird." Being weird isn't a bad thing in my mind.

[@Kayla-g9w]

Ruby, thank you for this open talk, it felt like a conversation with a sister. You are such a kind and pure soul. Thank you for all the content you have already created and you are currently creating, it's such a gift being able to listen to somebody who is as wise as sincere.

[@SeerOfTime577]

Hello, Ruby. May I just say, I adore these chatty/crafty videos immensely. They are so comforting, and it genuinely feels as though you are sitting down to chat with a friend. I also appreciate your honesty and vulnerability, even though you don't owe anyone answers to personal questions. I also want to thank you for being true to yourself in speaking about your relationships and how vital friendship is to you. I am not opposed to marriage, myself, but I have never in my life felt what people would describe as "romantic love." We are all unique individuals, and I think it is *extraordinarily* vital not to think of "romantic" love as somehow inherently *higher* than any other type of love. In my mind, that is a dreadful thing to think! And very much debasing to other close, meaningful relationships. There should not be a hierarchy to love in any way, and I very strongly disagree with such a mindset. This is definitely a topic I am passionate about! But I really appreciate what you said.

[@joannasmith4793]

I am glad you are still posting videos. I need some self care for my mental health today. Feeling lonely in this time of my life. It would be nice to have a second me for support . Friendships are tough. January is tough. Glad it is the first of February and better days to come.

[@anjanashyam9333]

Life has been so incredibly rough for years on end. Her smile though makes my days better already. Ruby, we love you

[@glitterandducttape]

Joanna I hope you are feel better soon and that February is better for you. Peace and comfort to you.🕯️🌈🕊️

[@kristenkim]

I feel the same way about marriage and romance, Ruby! I'm 24 and a lot of my friends/acquaintances are either engaged or married already. In fact, some of them already gave birth to their first child! I'm happy for them of course, but I can't help but to think that we've drifted apart. It seems like the older I get, the more difficult it is to find other women who value platonic relationships + friendships. I've never dreamed of getting married or having children, let alone dating someone, so it's incredibly refreshing to hear that from you and from everyone else in the comments! There's more to life than romance or marriage and we shouldn't have to feel a certain way for not sticking to the status quo. :)

[@peppergirl419]

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with Ruby about the loneliness topic. I was also a socially awkward and introverted teen/early twenties young adult. A bit of a late bloomer really. I sought my escape in my fantasy books and imagination. Instead of stepping out into the world and actually doing life experiences, I was dreaming about them. This led me into a heavy depression and suicidal thoughts. Loneliness was the norm, even though my friends and family were around. I understood that if I didn't confront my fear of the world, it would end badly. The rest of my friends were doing things and I was stuck in my little bedroom (I lived with my dad during my teens and twenties). I liked being alone but I also liked being with my friends. And as much as my friends loved me, they were not going to wait for me forever. So step by step, I started to travel, improved my communication and listening skills with strangers, and started to recognize the good, healthy people in group settings. After years of work (33y now), friendships, companionship, even love mean so much more now. I still retreat in my imagination, in my books, in nature. But I always ask myself if I use it for pleasure or to escape something. If so, stand tall and go back into the world. It only enriches your reading experience. Anyway, that was my two cents. Hope you all have a lovely evening!

[@aryastark7195]

Hey Ruby, I think it’s nice that you’re taking your time with your writing. As someone else trying, and currently failing, to write as much as I used to, I’m trying to just let it be. I don’t even think you need to worry about getting back into a routine about it. Just leave it until you feel that irrepressible urge to write again - chances are, whatever you write at that point will be some of the best you’ve ever done! That’s what I’m hoping for myself too.

[@crumblecrumble99]

oh this video came at the perfect time. i was feeling a bit lonely today because my friends haven't been free in a while, but this one helped me appreciate the simple pleasures of taking time to look around + spend a day with family. after this video is finished, i plan to read a little more pride and prejudice or edit some of the poems that i've been working on.

[@preciouspinktulip]

I’m the exact same about marriage, Ruby! I just don’t find myself getting giddy or excited about the idea of getting married. I live in the Middle East where marriage is constantly pushed onto us girls and honestly that also is a contributing factor! I mean never say never haha but I just don’t really see myself with a partner or kids as of right now :)

[@preciouspinktulip]

@ I meant that too :)

[@7forevermore]

Your words about loneliness and friends really resonated with me, I really appreciate the conversation!

[@margaretschachte489]

I've never felt a calling toward marriage or a romantic relationship either. It's not that I'm denying myself a relationship because I value "liberty" or that I'm worried about getting tied to "family obligations" - it's simply not something I desire at all. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time...but I'm 25 so maybe this is a permanent setting. I do love family though. And I take my family relationships and responsibilities very seriously. I'm not choosing to be single because I want to be "free" if that makes sense...

[@user-qh8nh7oe6d]

Yes, can understand. I've been married, divorced, have children and grand children. I feel I've failed in a way because of the divorce, but my youngest son has severe disabilities and I don't know if that led to the breakup. Its just be you, its fine, but I hate the way everything has to have a label now, so Ruby is labelled Ace. She's Ruby.

[@EllieLaDes]

I definitely don't plan on getting married. For the longest time I was waiting for a relationship that never came. I always questioned myself on why people didn't come at me for a relationship, while all my friends had partners. Now I have 22 years old and I have discovered that you can't rely your happiness in people if you are not happy with yourself. I validate a lot of my friendships, but I think that if I attach myself to someone in a romantic relationship, there will be no space for me to grow as my truly self. I am letting the future decide what is best for me, while I focus on being the best version of me. Greetings from Brazil, Ruby!

[@chandrimachakraborty3267]

I resonate with you so much on ur perspective on marriage and romance books. I wish more people understand this.

[@nehhanaryanan04]

Ruby, your videos are so authentic and I really appreciate you pulling out issues that are difficult to voice out, you have been a deep source of inspiration for nearly 2 years now and I'm so glad to see you grow, sending you loads of love from India 🥰

[@MissBeautyAddict]

It is interesting to understand why most people who say they are not interested in romance and marriage always think of it as “giving something up” in order to include someone else in their life, rather than gaining something. Like someone else mentioned, I find that the desire to be alone and independent from people that are not usually seen as “safe” (like family and friends) stems from a fear of getting hurt, a fear of rejection of what you have to bring to a relationship (yourself as a whole) and as a result somehow coming to think less of its value. Romantic relationships and their forms (including marriage) are a part of the rich tapestry of life with all the human interaction woven in which makes and changes the patterns on it. I can say that, although it hasn’t always felt good and comfortable, relationships and marriages and all their consequences have given me accumulated wisdom I wouldn’t have been able to acquire second-hand from books etc. about myself and about other people.

[@wonderwoman5528]

Can really relate to being more of an introvert than most. I think it’s a strength to love your own company and many people would be envious of this. Although, it’s nice to push ourselves outside our comfort zone when it comes to socialising because we can find people more like ourselves to hang out with. Sometimes it’s nice to have another person’s perspective that’s not our family so we can learn something about ourselves and others. Can’t believe you answered my question about a potential novel set in Victorian times! Thanks 🤩

[@AmyCheverette]

I really enjoyed this Q&A, I’m an introvert as well so it was interesting to hear Ruby’s take on the friendship questions. I very much agree that for an introvert a few meaningful relationships are better than many surface level ones. Everyone’s friendships will look different depending on what works best for them! 💕🙂

[@CandiceWorkmanHistory]

Ruby, I love that you write letters to your friends. That is so special. I do not have a lot of friends myself, I have found that the older I get the harder it is for me to connect to people outside my daily life. Which is a struggle, but I also have a hard time finding people who share similar interests or connections with.

[@joelharris4399]

Splendid! It is great to hear you using slow time at this juncture of the new year to explore your more creative side, your inner Victorian self, so to speak 🎨

[@KrisMF]

I love your perspective on writing and publishing. as someone who went through it last (and will be going through it again this year), submission is an odd, rollercoaster of a process. There are so many factors that go into finally getting a book deal. I honestly believe giving yourself the time and space to be creative will pay off-your time will come! ✨😊

[@emsems3056]

I also love A Little Princess and reread it every once in a while!💖 About the marriage question, I never dreamt about it either; looking for your happiness and feeling thankful for being alive (whether in a relationship, married, single) is what truly matters. Love starts with yourself, and if you find/want to find somebody to love, that's great too. Not to fulfil society's expectations, but listening to yourself.

[@milanpetrovic4673]

I’ve read dozens of books, but Forbidden Gateway to Money Mastery gave me the tools to think and act differently

[@markcook8354]

Scammer!

[@alixgibson8579]

I also reasonate with that line from little women deeply. My other favourite quote that I use to explain my feelings on love and marriage from Little Women (Greta Gerwig film not the book). Is “Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. I’m so sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for.”

[@suki7333]

Ruby, your views on marriage are such an inspiration to many of us in the same boat. Would love it if you ever made a full video about this topic

[@MezzoSoprano01]

Your videos are so cosy and calming. I feel like I'm just sitting down for tea with an old friend. I love these chat and craft videos!

[@KB-bx9ui]

I can see you creating and fostering a school, Ruby. 💙✨️ I said the same thing to Jade. The two of you will be such incredible teachers, as you already are here on KZbin.

[@Popstan001]

As a 29 year old man (turning 30 soon even though I look 21 lol), your thoughts on marriage have made me feel less alone. I hate the culture of when you get to a certain age, people just assume you’re looking to get married? I’m certainly not ready for marriage and I’m not sure if I will want to be. However, I do feel myself changing and even though a few years ago I was adamant about not getting married, I do feel myself more and more changing my mind as I grow older…

[@clarewoosley8376]

Seeing you make little cards while doing a Q&A video is so peaceful! Thank you for answering the most frequently asked questions. Maybe you can do a part 2 to this one, if you’re willing. Your card is great! It’s so colorful and creative! ❤

[@judygoddard3869]

I’m 48 now, single and childless, and have finally accepted, or rather EMBRACED, being an introvert. I fought against it for years. I also felt ashamed (why is it the introverts who feel ashamed? Why do extroverts never feel ashamed for being so noisy and intrusive and needy?). I have nothing, but am SO happy. I read, write, potter, watch the seasons change, wander the countryside. It’s bliss. I wouldn’t be a teenager again if you paid me.

[@tess3411]

100% agree and also side note - I love the use of Potter as a verb !!

[@madgeoshea8483]

I think extroverts do feel shame, it’s not fair to say they don’t. Often we’re made to feel too much and overwhelming. The grass is always greener and it always seems easier to be the other side of the coin!

[@JS-kj9yq]

I honestly think the dating/marraige questions are incredibly old fashioned and born out of habit. Like grade school gossip or strange family members starting jokes far too early, when children are even toddlers! It just feels very immature. I used to be someone who was nearly obsessed with dating status, etc. But since I've grown up and entered a happy, secure partnership myself, I find relationship status to be one of the most boring things about someone, along with their physical appearance (I.e., body weight) or career. Much more interested in people's hobbies, dreams, etc. Good for you, Ruby!

[@nerdmaid1240]

Yes, I used to feel so much pressure to be in a relationship that I ended up in bad ones. At times when I was single, it drove me mad that this was something people were sad about. At one family event, my cousin (married, 3 kids) asked me if I was with someone. I said no. Her head went to the side, she gave me a sympathetic arm rub. ‘You’ll find someone…’ and then spent the whole night chasing toddlers while I did Sambuca shots at the bar with my brothers (who never got asked about their relationship status btw). I’m in my own happy relationship now, but I wish I’d felt less pressured through my life and not able to just enjoy being me.

[@corncobpipe4]

Thank you SO much for validating and normalizing being a happy, contented introvert! Sometimes it feels like the whole of society is intent on trying to pressure happily quiet people into constant social engagement. It's exhausting. You are so safe, validating, and comforting...Thank you for normalizing being happily alone. (PS Since I first read A Little Princess when I was 8 years old, it's remained my favorite book of all time. Sara Crewe has always been my role model. I so admired her fierce inner strength. I also adored her attic room, and felt sad when she left it behind for a life filled with more people, although the new life was filled with luxury. I always felt a bit strange for preferring the attic, but I so loved the solitude of that little room.) By the way, if you've never read "The Velvet Room" by Zilpha Keatly Snyder, I think you'd love it. It's a wonderful children's book about a quiet young girl in need of privacy and solitude, who finds a beautiful place of her own. You can read it for free online through Internet Archive.

[@ashi1149]

The quote by Jo is exactly what I relate to as well, after reading it for the first time, it felt like something had struck my soul so profoundly and I could see myself reflected back and that is the moment I knew the companionship books and friends/sisters give me could never compare to marriage for me.

[@brittizepunkt4838]

Dein Victorian Folding Letter ist einfach bezaubernd, Ruby. Ein Kunstwerk 🥰. Ich möchte das auch gerne mal ausprobieren.

[@enchanted_wildflower_]

One of the biggest revelations for me was that romantic relationships can come in all forms and can even be more similar to a friendship, when it comes to the type of commitments you have, the amouny of time you spend together etc etc. We always have this idea that romantic relationships need to look a certain way and that they have to follow certain steps, but they actually don't, not if you find the right people (Of course this is only applies if you want this type of relationship at all)

[@heather1628]

I love this! Thank you for sharing :) definitely something I needed to hear and something to explore for myself. I've always wanted a romantic relationship, but never been in one because the conventional idea of them hasn't felt right to me, but I love the idea of breaking free of that mindset and finding the right people and making it your own.

[@sophiependragon2467]

I'm also getting my driver's license. I resonate so much with the anxiety! And also, I totally get the marriage thing, I've always been "different" in that sense too. I never had that desire but I'm still very much open to it if it happens. Love that you're painting (it's my hobby as well), it's so cozy ❤ oh and I also find it weird how so many people were asking about marriage, there are so many other things to be curious about 😅

[@aesyfreedom9655]

I’ve said I don’t want marriage or children since I was five or six, and I have never strayed from that. It took me many more years to accept that I didn’t want a relationship either, but I don’t. People still don’t accept it and I’m almost thirty now, but I’m comfortable as I am.

[@martaferreirapires8656]

I never really wanted to get married and found relationships very stressful, though I loved the idea of love. I was also never sure if I wanted children. Eventually I met someone and got married at 33, but did not decide to have a child until I was 38 because I was so unsure. As the mother of a young daughter, I have found the love I wanted all along was not actually romantic, but the kind that fills your heart and soul with warmth - my daughter is that love. I’m still married, but love is really the life we get to spend together. You should spend it however you want, with whomever you want ❤

[@MLCraane]

Loving your video Ruby! I could relate to so many of the things you mentioned…from finally finding a clothing style to feel happy with (mine is 1940s too!), enjoying solo trips…reading actual books rather than kindle (I don’t even own one), not having millions of friends etc etc. Thank you for creating so many videos which make me feel good about myself! ❤

[@crumblecrumble99]

your wardrobe is literally perfect for the teacher outfits!!

[@yyy0066]

I highly recommend „Cat Lady“ by Dawn O‘Porter! I listened to it as an audiobook last year and it changed my view on marriage and family. I loved how the protagonist is comfortable with not being interested in marriage and being „odd“ for loving her cat and enjoying being by herself. It helped me to accept that there different ways to become happy and not every person wants to marry/ be in a relationship etc.

[@MariaMedeiros]

It was so lovely getting to know you more Ruby. I appreciate the wonderful artistic and creative video and the lovely art you made. It's lovely! The Wild products sound really wonderful! Thank you for the discount code. Thank you so much Ruby and I look forward to more of your lovely videos. Happy February and wishing you all the best this month. ❤

[@ThisBrambledLife]

Ruby...it's so wonderful to hear your life is going beautifully slow right now! Love to hear that. Adore you and your channel🌿✨😊

[@librarian1701-D]

That stuck out for me too... beautifully slow sounds so nice!

[@Un-Cooked-fnm]

Yes! The precision of language, most especially in the dialogue with self, makes a great deal of difference. So, I get to paint today! is a vibe. I get to write today! is a vibe. This little shift for me, is tangible.

[@milobaret8672]

I like the way you talk, 😅 you 're a natural spirit. Whatever you do, you always do it fine.

[@Intia777]

Oh my goodness, Ruby, thank you so much for talking about your driving journey! I’m almost 30 and I’m also learning to drive now, and it’s also taking a very very long time. I’m good at academics just like you, but very practical things like driving can be surprisingly hard for me. It is SO nice to hear someone so smart like you sharing they have similar challenges! It is okay to take our time and we will eventually get our license, right?! 🥰

[@flora22511]

I’m just a few years older than you and have very similar thoughts on marriage! Quite a lot of friends and people around me have been getting engaged/married recently and it’s just not something I’m interested in. I also don’t have the desire to be in a relationship right now, Im happy with how my life is at the moment. 😊

[@Imaginfinity]

This was such a cozy catch up, Ruby ☺️ And your folded Victorian greeting card turned out so pretty - I’m feeling inspired to try making one myself at some point!! I loved the question about books that inspire your dreams! I feel like so many of the book characters I’ve read about have helped inspire me and make me who I am; they’re like friends that you always carry with you (Coraline, Sara Crewe, Anne Shirley, Matilda….) ✨ It’s so nice to be reminded of that kind of magic in books

[@forestrites]

The loneliness question was very interesting to me too and you gave a good answer. Socializing is just an activity, like any other. As long as you're engaging with something that you find compelling and interesting then loneliness isn't really a problem. It is nice to be able to share your experiences with another person sometimes though.

[@Emma_S76]

I also struggled with learning to drive. My tip would be to get an automatic license. It took away some of the anxiety for me and made it a little easier.

[@minounah]

I so admire the ability to know oneself so deeply and having the strength to swim against the tidal wave of pressure to be coupled. How freeing to just be happy on one's own terms. I'm married but have always known that being a mother wasn't for me..perhaps it's something like that. Thank goodness we have the choice to be who we are. I wish all women could take that for granted.

[@fernmacf9519]

Hiya! I met you earlier today and I was so nervous I forgot to ask you a question I've always wanted to ask which was if there were any books you think I should read prior to beginning my English degree at Exeter! You were so lovely, and I'm so happy to be a fan! xx

[@champagneproblemz7386]

I’m currently studying English at Exeter and I would say look at the website list of books in the beginnings module since it’s compulsory and get started on Beowulf, Paradise Lost, The Lais of Marie de France, Frankenstein etc.. anything of your choice.. because they will take you time / might not be your favourites …it’ll give u an head start

[@fernmacf9519]

@@champagneproblemz7386 Thank you so much! I'll start reading them asap x :)

[@danielbautista74]

If you wrestle with the big questions, especially about suffering, like what makes life meaningful, the limits of understanding, good and evil, the nature of reality (not just science but narratives, and how they intertwine with our nature), then I think that would be the greatest adventure no matter where it leads. Finding out what the highest purpose to serve at any moment is, and if there is such a thing, and why. That's what I recommend if you're not sure what to do next. I have a playlist

[@victoriahaviland7480]

get on a very early train...like 5am when it's dark.. so nice when you begin in the dark and it turns to day... bliss

[@lizee708]

I've always treasured my time and it's hard to explain to others why I prefer myself that way. I am not being lonely or feel lonely. It's the opposite for me; I feel lonely being around many people or pushing relationships. But I am happy. When I desire to interact with a few friends or family, great! But more often than not, one can find me with my books or being out with nature. The best company I say!

[@_saraq]

I am currently 29 and decided to change my career and go for teaching. Hearing that you also would like to teach made me so happy🥰

[@charlik1ng]

I really like that you spoke about loneliness and how friendships can come and go throughout growing up. I still have one friend who has been through many years with me and who I cherish a lot but she unfortunately may be moving away for a new career opportunity, I am happy for her regardless though. It can be difficult to meet new people and friends. Especially as an adult and I often find that even when I try, it’s not always successful, mainly because I feel many are happy with the friends they already have. I am going to a new ballet class next week and hope I can meet some more people my age there! One of my goals for this year is to push myself into more slightly uncomfortable spaces because I may meet some incredible people that way.

[@paulineprice7308]

Ruby you r content with yourself that’s the main thing love your videos ❤

[@noto3604]

Im in the same as you when it comes to dating Ruby. My time is precious, and since I was a child I knew I was never going to get married. Nowadays at 33 years old I feel like it takes so much time and energy to date and get married, when I can use that time for what I can discover, learn and fufill. The book that has gotten me into writing and reading was Harry Potter as well. Also Narnia.

[@kleinereverie8763]

I think all the comments on dating and marriage are completely valid, and I would like to add a different perspective. I'm 32, autistic, introverted and nerdy, and I love my husband. I didn't care for marriage either and when we did get married, it was in a way more for him than it was for me and he values the institute of marriage. It didn't make much difference to me because I knew I would be spending the rest of my life with his man so I was happy to oblige for him. We don't plan on ever having children and I still have all my liberties, freedoms, introversion and independent goals. What is ever better is that I get to have those and be interdependent with a wonderful human which totally enriches the experience. So I just want to flag that as a possibility for those who are fearing that they will somehow lose themselves. It's not that black and white or a "ball and chain" as some people describe it.

[@Un-Cooked-fnm]

A book which inspired me to stay on my path of wishing to live in another country was, A Moveable Feast. Hemingway's life of little comforts in order to fulfil his desire to be in Paris is a touchstone for me.

[@maikem9889]

Loved the victorian craft and would love seeing you talking more about (victorian) traditions/ crafts 😊

[@nqnq2534]

About the getting married thing. I never had that topic on my head, I didn't even really saw myself in a relationship. But one day I felt In love with the woman I'm dating rn (I'm a woman too) and since back then I see myself marrying her like a little fun thing to celebrate our love. But I still hate that traditional way the majority of relationships seems to follow, I'm lucky to have found a person that understands relationships the same as me.

[@MyCozyLife-Lisa]

This was wonderful Ruby. Thank you for answering so many questions. Enjoy your weekend😊

[@yanacharovnica]

I am an opposite, I am 23 and I am getting married to a person I know since I was 20 and this is wonderful, though I was never dreaming of a romantic relationship, but it just happened) It is wonderful, that nowadays everyone can choose what they truly want in all spheres of life and personal lives as well ) Love your videos Ruby, I watch you since I was 14)) Ps sorry for any mistakes, English isn’t my native language ❤

[@Me-ov4qk]

I swear this could not have come at a better time! My best friend is in America rn and I've been trying to think of a cute way to fold something I can put in the letter so it's thoughtful but doesn't take up much space. ❤

[@teenabrown9786]

A lovely authentic post! I’m 64 and I think I missed the memo on dating & marriage. 😂 I’ve been married for over 41 years & for me is my best life ever.... I can totally understand why people prefer being single. Such freedoms! Back in my twenties there was something wrong with you if you didn’t want a husband & children... Such pressure! Also publishing a book don’t give up your dream! I’ve worked in public libraries for over 30 years in Australia. We have a wonderful Australian author Sandie Docker. I went to her author talk last year for her latest novel. Whilst she lived between Australia & the UK, she received 200 rejection slips on her first book she ever wrote.... Now after publishing 6 brilliant novels she has made it !!! Keep trying you will succeed! ❤️🇦🇺😍🇦🇺

[@miranda75289]

Ruby, I think you would love Billie Marten’s music! She’s my all-time favorite - very quiet and introspective.

[@TMC1358]

What a great answer about writing letters! It’s wonderful how a letter gives you time to think. Personally my brain goes in a dozen different directions at once so I get tongue-tied. Writing a letter, where I can throw away mistakes and start over, is my favorite way to communicate.

[@alices.5367]

Ruby, I also don't have a driving license yet. Sometimes I feel like all of my friends know how to drive, but I tried driving lessons once and the anxiety was just too much to handle then. It is so nice to know I am not the only person in my twenties who doesn't know how to drive. Love to all the passenger seat princesses out there🩷

[@ladybooks9551]

I like what you said about clothes and style. I get told a lot that one should be dressing according to what suits them, like to what suits their body. But I always felt like I actually want and like to dress to suit my character. I do think my clothes look good on me, but I also try to dress according to my character, to feel true to myself when I am all dressed up. And if other people think that it actually doesn't suit my body very well, I am learning to not care about that anymore as long as I am feeling good in these clothes ✨️

[@user-ew2uh3bv9z]

Hi Ruby, don't ever feel obliged to answer personal questions about yourself. I wish I had learnt that lesson sooner.

[@ZeeZainabzy]

Oh Ruby, the romance reading part, I totally relate and agree, even I'm not someone who reads romance or like reading it, but recently I watched a movie based on a memoir- Surprised by oxford, I really loved the essence of it, It was philosophical, centred around literature and depth to conversations, I thought I'd share it, I'm pretty sure the book would be good too as I'm going to read it soon. Hope you enjoy the movie and the book. And as usual loved this video,love your work ♥️ Thankyou Ruby ✨️

[@camilalobianco7231]

I started doing with you my victorian folding letter before you even said it! Loving the experience!

[@janecourt5000]

Hi Ruby, I’m also learning to drive right now, I’m also very anxious about it, but I thankfully found a course that is tailored for people, who are scared to drive, and so far it’s been ok! Good luck, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it:)

[@jarrodsio]

Your room looks cosy and very calming.

[@carolpingel39]

“Your lifestyle doesn’t include many people…” I would love for them to quantify that. How many people is enough people for them to feel comfortable with the amount of people you feel comfortable around. As an introvert myself, I also get this question sometimes, and it drives me up the wall. That question could completely be turned back around onto them as, “your lifestyle includes so many people. Do you ever feel overwhelmed, and how do you cope with that?”

[@claraclarke8642]

Also not necessarily interested in marriage. In a place where it seems I am the only person who doesn’t prioritize this in their lives, I’m glad this conversation got started here and that I am not alone in feeling this! ❤

[@jacquiheywood3142]

WOW! Some of those were very personal questions. It appears to me that you have a close family and a good number of friends. What’s the magic number of friends to have? It’s something that is different for everyone so I dont get the point of that question. Stick with the driving lessons. It’s a very useful life skill. I was awful when I started and it took me a few go’s to pass, but once I did and I just drove heaps and became more experienced, it’s got better. It’s such a good thing too be able to do.

[@rhythmicelegance4670]

I am scheduling defencive driving lessons after not driving for a long time, despite having my licence, and it is very stressful because there are a lot of incompetent drivers out there. If I lived in the traffic-sparse Cotswolds, I wouldn’t mind driving at all.

[@gjy1256]

I think there are quite a variety of methods to live a life. Due to the fact that there's no one sigular way, it always depends on how you define your own universe. More importantly, you dont have to lock up yourself in a certain image you feel you are supposed to be. Because we change constantly throughout our lifetime, we at the moment can be totally different froms 10 yrs ago of us. I personally enjoyed with people in my teenage, and now i am in my 30's i appreciate a life focusing solely in my inner peace. And i think this probability of fluctuation makes our life more interesting!