QI Compilation | Best Of Improbable Inventions

[@ohspoons]

I love both Stephen and Sandi as hosts. They both give off the same vibe as a primary school teacher but Stephen teaches 3rd/4th grades and Sandi teaches 5th/6th

[@CycolacFan]

Stephen seems often more innocent than Sandi although they may just be deliberate.

[@bikershark9]

This is remarkably correct

[@rachelcookie321]

I’ve never heard someone use both primary school and grades. Usually it’s primary school and years or elementary school and grades. Also, they feel like high school teachers to me. I feel like they would get way too frustrated with a classroom of 30 ten year olds. Actually, I can’t imagine Stephen would do well in any classroom. I can’t imagine him yelling trying to get the attention of 30 kids.

[@brendancskinner]

Being appreciated by Stephen Fry is better than any first class honours.

[@giantred]

Makes sense, he is upper class lol

[@shirosenshiesq]

I once got retweeted by him, was basically the highlight of my life. Along with getting a hug from Dolly Parton and David Attenborough, and lunch with Billy Connolly.

[@DeBedschbacher]

@@shirosenshiesq was Billy still drinking?

[@decodolly1535]

@@shirosenshiesq Dolly Parton AND David Attenborough? At the same time? 'Cause I'm really struggling to overlap the Parton & Attenborough circles for that venn diagram........

[@shirosenshiesq]

@@DeBedschbacher He had Coke and a curry. He stopped drinking back in the 80s.

[@marycanary86]

stephen gets so miffed when imogen didnt get honours xD its a little cute

[@Ngamotu83]

That unknitting machine represents exactly the sort of thinking that is sorely needed today, and should be valued a lot more. Taking a used product, especially one which there is already an abundance of, and returning it to its constituent parts in an easy and fairly quick way. Whether it's reducing a scarf to a ball of yarn, or let's say returning plastic (which is a big problem unlike woollen clothing) back into oil, we need more people, especially students, thinking along those lines. So while the unknitting machine may have just been a project in an undergraduate program and not an attempt to solve a big a real-world problem, it does exemplify the sort of problem-solving abilities that are needed in a world that is awash with unrecyclable waste.

[@snazzypazzy]

I mean, I agree with you that we need to be more careful with our materials, but it's not hard to unravel a handknitted item that's not been seamed or something. You have to find the end, cut or undo the knot, and pull. The mechanism here is just a like an umbrella skeinwinder. And she probably used a ballwinder to make those centre-pull balls. Both of which already exist commercially. Historically a skeinwinder was a kid with their arms stretched out, you can wind it on to them.

[@samiam619]

@@snazzypazzy Agreed. My wife makes a mistake while crocheting, she unravels it. Or if she dislikes the hook same thing.

[@zetetick395]

Yeah, it's not a product per se so much as a new technology that uses objects most folk could get their hands on fairly easily (old Bike / Kettle etc) Great stuff! 👍

[@davidbrumby761]

I want someone to unburn my toast

[@paulallen579]

At first I didn't see the glass wall facing the audience that would keep the fish from falling off the edge. I had a my heart in my throat every time it was close to the edge of the table!

[@davidlewis1787]

Me too

[@Brinta3]

Same!

[@erinadams7556]

I never saw it til you mentioned it!!! Thanks!!

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

"Theoretically yes" This man is the hero we deserve.

[@trooperandcooperale3057]

Alan missed out on asking for a Blue Whale tank

[@thomasnolastname8734]

Funnily enough, they keep Alan in a tank between shows

[@Koko-pm4qq]

Poor Tristan, he seemed so shy and embarrassed XD

[@milangiroux]

@@Bumra uh

[@ararune3734]

@Gail Billing Don't be a creep Gail

[@BumMcFluff]

@@Bumra That might make for good TV though, just need to work it into the narrative.

[@eyedeasneverdie3348]

Whenever Ross in on this show with a scientist he's head goes off on one about the random possibilties they could do.

[@ambergris5705]

I love it so much when he's on the show! My favourite QI lineup would be him, Phil Jupitus and Victoria Coren-Mitchell. Or maybe I would watch just a series of videos of Pr. Brian Cox and Ross Noble discussing planets, cuz the shattering of Ewoks in a lake of farts is still one of the golden QI moments.

[@thomasnolastname8734]

@@ambergris5705 I forgot Ross wanted to toss an Ewok into a lake of farts

[@fableagain]

That "they didn't" spoke of so much pain....

[@cmw12]

The cow fistula thing is deeply disturbing.

[@purplefood1]

Yeah it really is

[@ThatScootFanboy]

It's a darn good thing the cows aren't terribly bothered by it.

[@JohnyG29]

7:47 They should have called it a "cattle-ytic" converter.

[@wasshisface]

I went 'cow-talitic', but yes

[@kisbie]

Was Phill’s exclamation at 5:43 a pun? “Oooohhh, the huma-knit-y!”

[@kayehenry3737]

@@kisbie - Well spotted! I did not understand what he said. I'm not sure it's a pun, per se, but it is a callback to what the reporter cried out as the Hindenburg crashed.

[@kisbie]

Kaye Henry Yeah, just struck me as an odd reference to make otherwise, although I highly doubt Phill was engaging in wordplay.

[@EebstertheGreat]

@@kisbie He wasn't trying to make a pun, but the line is still better for it.

[@GreenWolfDen]

6:39 "They didn't"

[@rw4578]

I love these compilation videos so much, thanks!

[@elliot695]

Me too

[@CricketEngland]

JONATHAN SUTCLIFFE no need to SHOUT,

[@Gruvmpy]

Speaking of cows and emissions, I read JCU did a study and found seaweed fed in the diet of cattle would reduce the levels of methane from cows, there's even a company producing feed supplements to do this. It reduced the methane by over 90% with positive trends for feed conversion and productivity

[@Mogu003]

They should keep Sir Alan Fish on the set every episode. Make him part of the show.

[@willmfrank]

He'd probably get more answers correct than the other Alan.

[@MikeDuddy-q2t]

I doubt he's still alive by now.

[@phant0]

The un-knitting machine was far simpler in design and function that I thought it would be. The value of it comes more from the novelty of the idea rather than the engineering put into it.

[@decodolly1535]

Any knitter will tell you it's completely pointless and definitely not a novel idea. The practice is called 'frogging' and knitters have been doing it for years & years, probably since knitted was invented. No need to put the yarn back into a skein, it can very easily be wound directly into a ball - ball winders have been available for years. But even a ball winder is not strictly necessary as you can wind a ball of wool around your fingers. Mum grew up during the war, when re-knitting was promoted through 'make do and mend', and her response to that 'invention' was "How did she get a degree for that nonsense?!"

[@Serai3]

Nonsense. Value in engineering isn't measured by complexity but by how efficiently a machine gets the job done. Just because a machine is incredibly simple doesn't mean the engineering isn't brilliant - in fact, it's usually MORE brilliant the simpler it is.

[@HandmadeDarcy]

Serai3 You’re absolutely right re: simplicity in engineering generally but this particular device actually complicates the process extraordinarily. If you look, you’ll see that the final product is spun into a ball using an old and common tool called a ball winder. Literally nothing but the human that is between the garment and the ball winder is necessary - you can even get electric ball winders you can set to speed and you just make sure the yarn from the garment doesn’t stick. Some of the electric ones even have a yardage metre to tell you how much yarn has gone through. Of course, the commercial machines which also unravel are larger but the basic principle is the same and has been mechanised for decades.

[@Shmiguelly]

I don't see the point in it at all.

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

@@Shmiguelly you take torn or damaged clothing and create new clothes with the yarn.

[@rachelcookie321]

I appreciate that they have a proper tank for the fish and make sure the audience knows that. A lot of shows would of just bought a fish and not really cared about it’s tank situation. People tend to forget that fish are living things too.

[@amelialikesfrogs5778]

And we all know that fish isn't a fish

[@rossross3689]

Yup, no such thing as a fish

[@kieranmacneil3940]

@@CricketEngland Theres no such thing as fish dumbo

[@davidnavratil5349]

it also doesn't have legs

[@rossross3689]

Let me guess, “cricket England” commented something very stupid and then deleted it because he realised he was a wanker

[@amelialikesfrogs5778]

@@rossross3689 haha

[@williamfothergill6212]

Wow, the video editing is great in this!

[@doraemon402]

I find it insane to poke holes on a cow.

[@Koko-pm4qq]

Yeah, to me it's kind of cruel...

[@idontwanttopickone]

This can't be a standard farming technique? Even for the most heartless capitalist farmer, I imagine the medical costs and risk of infection wouldn't make it worth it.

[@Ryan6.022]

@@idontwanttopickone yeah it seems to be more of a medical/research modification.

[@weirdunclebob]

Whichever way you look at it, it's still exploitation of an innocent being. Would we be okay if this was done to a dog or a cat? A chimpanzee? A human? There really is no need to do this sort of research, anyway. It's patently clear that billions of herbivorous animals will pump out billions of litres of methane. Computer modelling has advanced so much that we can do detailed analysis of any situation without physically including animals or humans in the process. If we stop breeding animals and instead feed people plants, excess methane will cease to be a problem. The main obstacle to that end is trying to convince people to change their diet/lifestyle. Most people will resist changing their ways without even considering that the alternative may be better. We should be teaching compassion in schools first and then other subjects. To enjoy a good life, we do not need to make other beings suffer.

[@savagexeno2549]

@@weirdunclebob blah blah blah. These are cows at a european university vet facility whose purpose is to provide healthy rumen bacteria to sick cattle elsewhere. To save their lives. And the biggest producers of methane are termites.

[@DavidTraynier]

I like the sense of unease at the sight of the fistulated cows. It's an intimation of the horror we inflict on our animal victims.

[@ThatScootFanboy]

According to the experts, it doesn't hurt the cows, and it provides some great veterinary benefits. Though I completely agree; it is quite unsightly.

[@jaymercer4692]

It’s certainly odd and unsettling from a human point of view but I wouldn’t describe the animals as victims anymore than they already were.

[@rooty]

@@jaymercer4692 they already are victims, I think that was his point. We are shocked by this, but our "normal" treatment of animals is just as horrific.

[@jaymercer4692]

@@rooty Yeah I think you're right. I've come to realise recently that humans are very hypocritical in our morals. I'm not sure if that's necessarily a bad thing but it is a strange realisation.

[@millomweb]

Un-knitting machine - as many people know, your cat can do that.

[@pistonar]

Yes, but the selfish bastard won't deliver it to you in handy rolls.

[@SaintPhoenixx]

What do you call a fish driving a tank? Vaguely impressive but utterly, in all aspects of the word, in every single way conceivable, totally pointless.

[@302Diane]

Well, it was amusing, which is a point of sorts.

[@stardustreverie6880]

It's not very interesting, but neither is it completely uninteresting. Just quite.

[@simontay4851]

Its just a bit meh.

[@stereoroid]

And there I was thinking... there is no such thing as a fish.

[@christianhildalgo]

Not really. Just because there is no point *right now* doesn't mean that it won't lead to bigger, more useful thing in the future or perhaps if used with another species.

[@Woesteinvuir]

There's something about Colin Lane that really irritates me. I've been struggling to put my finger on it for a while, but that tank clip really clarified it. "Did you build it over two days to attract girls". Christ what a tepid and uninteresting joke - what a total failure to engage with the spirit of the show. It's certainly not the most obnoxious version of that (that would be some of Jo Brand's earlier appearances - she's gotten much better), but good lord I've never seen him contribute anything of value to any panel he's ever been on.

[@teologen]

Yes, as I commented (after you, as I didn’t see your comment at first), this is just old 'jokes' from the 80s. He’s more of a boomer than anyone there, even though he’s technically gen x.

[@nicholascrow7405]

Yep, not purposely rude, just a bit past his prime, and down a woodley...

[@nicholascrow7405]

In the end, frankly it was Lano that dropped the wood

[@weirdunclebob]

Funny af, actually! But then, I'm Gen X. You youngsters are too highly strung! :P

[@Caroleonus]

I thought that it might have been a reference to something earlier in the show, maybe about an animal building something. But still painfully unfunny.

[@adrianscarlett]

The one that got a first with honours made a machine that instead of unknitting the scarf Back to a ball of wool, fed the end back into a knitting machine. They got extra credit because they did this with two colours, and changed a red and white striped scarf into a white and red striped one. The possibilities are endless!

[@coolperson962]

So basically they turned a Brentford scarf into a Stoke scarf? That's amazing

[@lilymarinovic1644]

I thought you were going to say it also unspun the wool and stuck.it back.on the sheep ....

[@MrAudienceMember2662015]

“As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create.” - Spock, Wrath of Khan

[@vanaals]

8:47 Back in the 50's, my elementary class went on a field trip to the agricultural school at Michigan State University. Where we were introduced to a glass bottomed cow. The cow had been fitted with one of those access ports shown. Instead of a cap, it had been closed with a clear plastic cover, and we could see inside the cow's stomach.

[@rachelcookie321]

Two comments in a row about Michigan state university. They really liked putting ports in cows from the 50s to the 80s.

[@vanaals]

@@rachelcookie321 Well, if memory serves, MSU began life as an agricultural school. How cows digest seems to be important to what the best feed would be and how farmers might mitigate methane production.

[@qjo5158]

Just me, or any1 else horrified by creating an extra hole in a cow?

[@boooster101]

Then you better don't look up a stoma

[@marcusrieder6198]

I also have a feeling that's why bill bailey isnt on the panel for that one.

[@bobidou23]

Ross Noble is a gem.

[@TheSatanshunter]

Qi Compilation idea: all the times people have had the shop tags left in their clothes

[@elbee2324]

Wow! Not only do we get elves in this video, we get porters as well! :-O

[@willkirton1178]

3:34 ... he's just got his next project in mind, you can tell from that coy smile. I'm expecting Sandi to be presenting a flipping dolphin tank any season now

[@jimmyusee]

When did the porters stop wearing the old brown coats? They always had them on, whenever they appeared on 70's tv.

[@cmennare]

Michigan State University had a project running in the mid 80's where they were trying to introduce different enzymes into the cows dietary system in order to aid digestion. They were adding enzymes from Yaks, Bison, Goats, and pretty much any ruminant that could digest the courser grains that standard cattle cannot. They used plugs just like that, it was pretty cool.

[@insertname1014]

I often wonder what the hell is going on in Alan’s mind.

[@FirenzeStorm]

The fish or the man? :P

[@DrZaius3141]

There's probably a tiny fish, driving around in a tiny tank.

[@NekogamiKun127]

*Throat-clearing noises* Hole-y Cow.

[@ejb7969]

That's amoosing, I suppose.

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

Ya know what enjoy your like you witty bastard.

[@rowanaboat4523]

“The porters ladies and gentlemen!”

[@singaporesammy]

I stuck my arm in one of those cows on a field trip as a kid. It was weird. The best part of it, however, was that another kid cut in line three people ahead of me and, when he stuck his arm in the cow, it coughed and he got splattered with cud. Instant karma.

[@hjt091]

Cows have little to no patience for queue jumping. Well known fact.

[@anitadavidson1266]

Brilliant!! 😁

[@woroGaming]

That was the most literal fishtank ever :P

[@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh]

Literally sitting here unravelling an old jumper with holes in it to re-use the wool, as thoroughly inimpressed with the unknitting machine a I was when first I saw it.

[@EVO6-]

Then build one. This is like a person a pen dismissing a printing press.

[@chrissayers519]

The goldfish one... Has the elf still got the price tag on his jumper?

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Surprised that nobody said it's a cowtalytic converter.

[@dragoncurveenthusiast]

Someone in the comments came up with cattlelyst.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

@@dragoncurveenthusiast even better

[@willmfrank]

"Cattle-lytic converter" was RIGHT THERE, Ross!

[@mitchkroener]

I was hoping this might feature the “Going-Up-and-Down-a-Bit-Then-Moving-Along Gertrude”

[@nancykraus5127]

I laughed over the unknitting machine. When he asked it , my first thought was My Grandmother, and then he comes out with a woman that created one. It has uses. Back in the 30's a knitted sweater would be un ravelled if it was outgrown or had an unpatchable hole, and then knitted into something else. She was in her teens then and used to do it up into her 70's with knitted sweaters. We did not just throw things out but reused. Something people are thinking of more and more now.

[@NewMessage]

And yet, the anti-klaxon has yet to be developed.

[@GrilledFood]

there actually is David Mitchel once had a teacher's pet one once when het got everything right

[@SurleyBlaine]

I thought the fish would be called Carporal or Sturgeon General.

[@bradbrown2861]

Undoing a scarf... nothing amazing. Knitwear factories have been using machines to do this forever. They call it 'back winding.

[@stephenjacks8196]

In US, Lemongrass in the feed inhibit the side reaction that makes Methane. (Methane is wasted feed.)

[@beenaplumber8379]

The beginning and the ending of these videos are really loud, but the content is quiet. My neighbors hear the beginning and end, but I can hardly hear what they're saying during the show.

[@spurguvitunhuora9119]

He doesnt live here. He can drive to the other side of the table and then he lives there.

[@driftrazor]

Cow window is grotesque!

[@spongeb27]

Did they really miss the "Cattle-litic converter" pun?

[@spongeb27]

Never mind someone already commented this yesterday I'm so ashamed of myself

[@jonathanpagden8149]

Is it me, or are the music stings way too loud by comparison with the programme clips?

[@christopherdickerson9380]

Realized that the fish tank is probably made from a lego mindstorms kit or something like that

[@penguinista]

If you want to destroy my sweater Hold this thread as I walk away -Weezer

[@rvoic]

Why does the Elf at 03:16 have an ITV badge, when this is a BBC show?

[@zyaicob]

"Why would you invent such a thing?" "WHY INDEED!"

[@cloudsculptor1]

I like Imogen

[@angelamuircroft5181]

What a fantastical world Ross lives in. X

[@SuperAlanmitchell]

I think he’s on mushrooms

[@pieterherfst5188]

Missed pun opportunity: Alan Dafish

[@phillwainewright4221]

Unravelling a scarf onto a wheel is hardly a work of genius. My Nan did something similar 60 years ago.

[@GuanoLad]

Do you still have that fish tank tank, Alex? Maybe advanced its tech a bit?

[@mojobag01]

How do you explain Ross Noble to foreigners?

[@michelemoskaluk3226]

Don't tell Imogen, but swifts have existed for ages

[@matthewiles5714]

07:09 - Cows have CATTLEytic converters

[@mndrew1]

Dear godz, Imogen has invented entropy!

[@boredphysicist]

Lol im all for technology and think there's virtually no limit to when it should be used, but the holes in cows is kinda weird

[@nammach]

Is the first inventor ever on Only Connect? I can vaguely remember him being on that show.

[@Inucat]

don't think he has been, he is sometimes on Fish though

[@marthanye3029]

and he is excellent on Twitter

[@SaneNoMore]

Modern dairies produce 3 times the milk with 1/4 of the cattle they once used. Efficiency is the best way to reduce the amount of methan expelled.

[@zetetick395]

"Fish Tank" 🤣

[@1janehunter]

The unknitting machine idea is nothing new, we used to do this by hand back in the 50’s. Recycling is not a new idea.

[@eugkra33]

So it's a string pulling machine?

[@gwenmartinsen3979]

I don't know why you need a machine to "go back in time" to turn a scarf into a ball of wool, I unravel a lot of knitting every time I try to knit. You often unravel a bit when you make a mistake. At least I do !

[@kilmameri]

also thats wrong, you can decrease the methane emissions by feeding the cows a bit of seaweed along with the rest of their diet.

[@sharonready5102]

Did he still have the price tag in his jumper?

[@jimmyoakmeister]

Ross Noble asks the important questions

[@CricketEngland]

7:10 not as much as the Leafcutting Ant

[@y_strikes2770]

That cow thing is insane

[@SafferPOV]

I worked on an experimental farm in the 1970s and we used two types of cow fistulas. One was in the throat (oesophagus) of cattle living off the veldt with a bag attached round the neck to catch some of the food they eat for scientist to study what they eat, and proportions, at various times of the year. The stomach fistula was to study their digestion and the rate of digestion of the various foods they eat. In part this helped determine what supplements cattle in the area needed to their diets

[@w.s6525]

7:55 cowtalytic converter

[@decodolly1535]

I don't know any knitter who wasn't spitting feathers at the pointless "unknitting machine". Knitters have been 'frogging' yarn for years and years and you certainly don't need a converted bicycle to do it. Ask any older generation lady about re-knitting as part of the 'make do and mend' campaign during the war.

[@torfrida6663]

Deco Dolly Absolutely! I emailed QI when this episode first aired, but received no reply. It shows what ignorance is displayed when no research is done. If that girl had been one of my textile students, she would have failed! Also, they have shown crochet calling it knitting, and seemed to show that you can unravel from the bottom up, which is rubbish! I was really annoyed, as you can gather.

[@decodolly1535]

@@torfrida6663 Oh yes, the "Knits & Knots" episode. Another occasion on which my TV only narrowly avoided having something heavy hurled through the screen. Even my brother (with no interest in yarn or textile skills) texted me "Isn't that crochet....?"

[@torfrida6663]

Deco Dolly Thanks. Glad I'm not alone!

[@no_handle_required]

The things industry does to animals should shame humanity.

[@celsius418]

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other…. Who the heck is driving this thing !

[@jerichokane5880]

Anyone notice the ITV badge on the elf’s trousers

[@Phoenixonesix]

On a slightly more serious note, Methane is a fuel. If it could collect and store it, then harvest it at the same time as they harvest the milk, someone could make a shed load of money from it!

[@b_uppy]

Pressured rotational grazing of cattle and other livestock, offsets the methane produced. It has a better fat ratio that is similar to olive oil, including saturated fat. The cattle lead better lives. It's a low tech way to produce more food. No need to be cruel to cattle. Quit buying products from CAFOS which are pretty sad, horrible places.

[@FalconFire13]

@Paul McMaster That's a step too far for some people. Just reduction of meat consumption would help a lot !

[@EarthwormShandy]

What

[@nonamestoja]

@Paul McMaster not gonna happen

[@loglog7]

Fun fact that cow methane invention is pretty much done.

[@dash1141]

I'm supposed to be studying...

[@mikemorgan2211]

The guy who built the fish tank has a price tag on his pants

[@fableagain]

I can't unsee it now hahaha

[@GirGir183]

SF says "what a mind" about the unknitting machine. It's just unraveling items of knitwear and winding the wool around a wheel. When SF does the suck up routine it can be quite nauseating.

[@teologen]

2:44 Yes, what a nerd. Yes, no girl would want an educated man. This is the most boomerish thing ever uttered on QI. Maybe leave these 'jokes' in the 80s where they belong.

[@IvoTrausch]

It was a reference to a prior bit where some animal built a thing for two days to impress a female.

[@mathews1451]

hit a nerve eh?

[@thanksfernuthin]

How brilliant. It's a string pulling machine. Our future is looking bright. And all this time I thought higher education was creating pointless idiots.

[@bellerophonchallen8861]

The beginning of world domination by the fish,

[@geoffreykahler1616]

Another answer to the cow question is Beano. They tried giving cows Beano once ago to combat the methane. Though it didnt work either.

[@ejb7969]

I just read that someone's using lemon grass and getting a 20% reduction in methane emissions from their cows, and advertising it for their beef.

[@rhubarbdedubarb4232]

Why did noone pick up on the cattle-itic converter

[@justynmatlock8873]

Surely a Cattlelytic Converter.

[@Serai3]

1. Seems pointless, but okay. 2. Don't know why they didn't give her a prize. That machine would be a great thing for recycling. 3. You don't know it doesn't bother them. You just know they're not trying to do anything about it.

[@torfrida6663]

Serai3 That machine was invented hundreds of years ago and any person who knits knows about it! Sad lack of research from the girl, her tutors and the QI elves.

[@welshbrit3971]

"They didn't" haha