全英｜为什么很多美国女孩不想结婚？Why aren't people getting married anymore?

[@宇文竹智]

這個議題太大也太廣泛，很難下定論。我移民美國30多年，做過多年的工程經理，培養出一代代的年輕工程師，男女都有。同時也看著他們成長。他們的婚姻什麼情況都有。有婚姻失敗，再試一次成功的例子。也有離了三次婚，最後成功的例子。半數以上，結了婚能保持下去。不結婚的男工程師比較少，女工程師比較多一些，大部分是經歷過失敗的感情生活，沒有再碰到合適的對象。有些成了單親媽媽，要再結婚考慮較多，最後都沒有再婚。 美國年輕人確實不那麼計較對方的家庭背景，收入等客觀因素，但是現實也可能影響到最後決定。我鼓勵他們如果真的打算共度人生，不如先同居一段時間，一切如預期後再結婚。畢竟，交朋友和生活在一起是不同的層面，比較更能夠了解對方。 造成婚姻失敗的主要原因是外遇。很多人不把婚姻當作是一個夫妻妻彼此之間的終身契約，有一定的責任和義務。我常跟他們說婚姻不是買車子，開了幾年後，拿舊車換新車。不要忘了你自己也變成舊車了。我也提供他們意見，化解緍絪危機，快快樂樂的生活下去。 我同意麗雅老師說的，要找到合適的對象很困難。要有好的朋友圈可以彼此介紹。我一個20多年的老同事，她離婚後，參加各種活動，都沒有找到合適的對，最後靠另外一位女同事，介紹給她先生的同事促成的。他們結婚10多年了，生了一對兒女，組成一個美滿的家庭。 我認為要找到合適的對象要有策略，要有計劃和執行的方法。現在大家都忙，要靠緣分碰到合適的對象非常困難。以女人來說，一晃眼就超過30歲，隨著年齡的增加，機會相對減少。所以要在年輕的時候把握機會。 另外，不要把眼界放得太高。找到能夠愉快生活的對象才是重要。我有一個女同事，再婚後，男方，女方和共同的子女一共有六個，先生變成專職的家庭主夫。全家靠妻子的收入生活，這種案例很少，但是證明一樣可行！ 我觀察不容易找到對象的單身同事，多少有一些比較不容易讓對方接受的條件。有些男同事整天玩電腦遊戲，看球賽，完全沒有社交。這種人除非在網上遇見相同嗜好的異性，否則很難在一般的環境中找到對象。另外個人的外貌也是一個關鍵，我有些同事過胖，或者個性太壞，都比較難找對象。 最後要調整自己的心態，不要把自己關在沒有別人的天地裡。只有放開心扉，才能讓好事進來。

[@마음이-p4x]

夠了吧，你這種人最好離單身女性遠一點，stop your mansplaining. 女性單身很快樂，而且寧缺勿濫，男人因為缺一個媽才需要婚姻，女性圓滿自足，不用用你那種狹隘的眼界來指點別人的人生，那只代表你人生沒目標吃飽太閒了～

[@마음이-p4x]

我看你的心裡充滿歧視，你比較需要open-minded，現在多的是單身女性自己就過得很好，沒遇到對的人根本不需要結婚，你的另一半肯定很後悔結婚吧。

[@宇文竹智]

@@마음이-p4x 使用這種攻擊性的言論沒有必要。我太太自稱是是世界上最幸福的女人，我們共同經歷人生，遊遍世界各地。她說如果有來生，希望能夠再和我度一生。希望你能獨自好好活這輩子。

[@gracewenli5374]

請詳細說明 ： 找對象之策略，計畫與執行方法！謝謝🙏感恩

[@宇文竹智]

@@gracewenli5374 我好像變成婚姻顧問了。下面是幾個原則，供參考。 1. 要主動積極，女生不要等男生來追。碰到比較中意的男生，不妨主動邀約。很多中國男生心裡想，又不好意思。女生主動一些機會比較大。 2. 多參加一些水準較高男人有興趣的活動。如電腦展，電子展，人工智能展，試著向囑意的對象問問題。大多數男人都樂意解釋他所了解的知識給女生聽，一方面彰顯自己的學問淵博，另外也分散了和陌生女人談話的尷尬。 3. 找到嫁給好先生的女姓同學或是朋友，請她們介紹撮合她們先生的同學或是同事。不過千萬要記住不可對她們的先生眉來眼去，要取得同事朋友絕對的信任。 4. 不要排斥透過家庭說媒。往往長輩選擇的對象比自己在外面瞎碰來的合適。 5. 不要擺小姐架子。赴約要準時，不要事事耍脾氣，又能體貼的為對方著想。否則成事不足，壞事有餘，煮熟的鴨子都可能飛了。 6. 最後一點，見仁見智。不要輕易的發生親密關係。不要讓男方覺得自己太隨便。當然這事要自己拿捏。 希望有一些參考價值，並祝你成功。

[@gwang7237]

感谢莉雅老师的分享。我儿媳妇是个美国女孩，如今他们已经结婚10年，有一男一女两个可爱的健康的混血孩子。他们的朋友中，离婚的还真是很多的。

[@victorliu5665]

一般中国人嫁给老外的都下场不太好。所以你女儿很幸福了 祝福

[@hubertw9752]

@@victorliu5665 你不会读种文？

[@theresonlysignoflife9606]

@@victorliu5665 是老外嫁给他儿子了，不是他女儿嫁给老外

[@天-t4j]

@@victorliu5665 你是眼神有问题还是脑子有问题？

[@victorliu5665]

@@hubertw9752 你不是也不会打中文字嘛

[@hongboris7149]

虽然是个美国女孩，但是感觉她有东方神韵

[@TonyGallagher457]

因为她是黑发😂

[@ggghhhzzz-w3x]

这里没有绿卡抽

[@youngyucn]

加麻大的

[@威雅]

她前世是中国人

[@KL-gc2hx]

​@@TonyGallagher457欧洲人多得是黑发，甚至鼓吹人种论的希特勒自己就是黑发😂

[@FelixHsu-il2fv]

從我爸媽結婚40多年的經驗大概可以說明幾件事，具體的婚姻很像是大家一起開公司，除了在一起的前半年或前幾年有些許的浪漫與激情外，久了比較像是是大家搭伙過日子。但彼此平時話也不多，可能一天只在吃飯時講上個幾句話(有的甚至連話都懶得講)，吃完了又各忙自己的事。

[@ytg6352]

人是兩個，心是在一塊的，各忙各的，不妨礙彼此潛在的關懷。

[@jieyan7952]

朋友经常待在一起也差不多，话都讲完了，并且隐约理解对方会怎么想 好像一本书，看完了，很少有能翻两遍三遍四遍的书，没有神秘感未知感了

[@Wolf-wz9vu]

你深深地吸引了我，你一定是个温柔善良贤惠的女孩。上面有个评论很恰切，你虽然是个美国女孩，但是有东方神韵。

[@chengtaihou7591]

我喜歡莉亞老師,很有中國古典美女溫柔典雅的味道,我喜歡莉雅介紹美國的風土人情和中國的不同,讓我們更了解真正的美國!謝謝!

[@logicfeeling1089]

我对莉亚老师的温柔典雅与你同感😀

[@stickergamer]

As a man, I believe house shores should be balanced between husband and wife. And finances should never be the main reason for marriage. Marriage is about pure unconditional love, not greed.

[@kdazdi]

Then jobs should be about pure passion, not greed as well. Unfortunately, life around us is designed in a certain way and we have to just live it as it's.

[@宇神教的信徒]

那是你自己的想法😂 问题的本质在于：让每个人自由选择❗️☝️😋👍

[@b85302246]

應該這麼想: 1.自己要過甚麼樣的生活? 是要獨自生活 或是要找到一個親密同伴一起生活? 2.自己希望對方 具備什麼條件? 我們往往開出很多條件 希望對方是能如何如何 卻沒有反問自己 自己是否也具備同樣的條件 開出條件愈多 符合的人就愈少 但是相對來說 如果不設定條件 那結婚以後會不會常常吵架 或是幾年後就離婚 那就很難預料了!~~ 3.婚姻能夠維持多久? 長長久久 海誓山盟嗎?~~~不一定的 主要會有幾個原因:年齡增長 老化 生病 失業 染上壞習慣 例如抽菸 酗酒 賭博等等 當然 也有可能是對婚姻不忠 婚姻出軌 4.如何選擇呢? 兩個人是否結婚 成立家庭 應該多溝通 交換意見 包括經濟收入 工作 宗教信仰 政治傾向 興趣 個性 生活習慣 居住地點 婚後是否生小孩 婚後是否兩個人都繼續工作 婚後 如何分擔生活開銷 保險 貸款等等 因為結婚後 要共同生活 上面的問題都要去考慮 與期結婚後冷戰 吵架 甚至幾年後離婚 不如婚前 多溝通 多相處 交換意見 看看雙方是否適合結婚 會比較好一些!~~

[@hgbbgb-x2j]

听到你讲自己是家里老大的事情，觉得你是一个很真诚的人

[@gofreettm8580]

老师讲的很到位，美国是这样，全世界很多地方也是这样，找一个合适的人太难了，而且人们的心态都进步了，不再受制于传统教条，女人走向了自主和独立，这是很好的现象。 男人不做家务，这是从小教养缺失，女人要做很多家务，这是社会固化的潜规则造成的不公，是时候改变了，支持女孩子们多读书，多思考，获得自由和自主。 这位老师英语好听，讲出的东西非常清晰透彻，引人深思。❤

[@Ialreadyhaveaname2]

America is such a mix of different cultures, it really depends on the specific family (or maybe group of people?) that would determine how women are treated or expected to be. In my home the men did all the physical labor type jobs, like mowing, yard work, repairs to the home, car repairs, etc. The girls did a lot of the typical housework like cleaning the floors, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. Everyone was responsible for their own dishes and trash was a rotation each week. My mom did our laundry until we were in high school and then we were expected to do our own. My dad made the money but when we were old enough my mom worked a job as well, but mostly because I think she was bored at home all the time. Some families are different and can be very toxic, though. I had a pretty good childhood so I was lucky.

[@kangwang3278]

Your family looks like our chinese, mem make money and do labor job, women do housework and take care of kids.

[@burykely]

首先，我认为结婚与否是个人自由。其次，就我个人所观察到的现象来说，千禧年之前的中国结婚是为了温饱，而之后结婚则不仅为了温饱，更多的则是情绪价值的需求。而现在大多数人都晚婚甚至不婚，因为对另一半的筛选更严格。

[@JeanKarov]

"情绪价值"是一个极其恶心、庸俗的词语，因为它用资本主义的价值尺度--金钱--来丈量人类之间的关系。

[@burykely]

@@JeanKarov 我认为价值不完全等于金钱 我的理解是 情绪价值高=使你感到正向的，积极的，乐观的情绪 情绪价值低=使你感到负面的情绪，把你作为情绪垃圾桶

[@JeanKarov]

@@burykely 情绪二字充满城市小布尔乔亚的无病呻吟和女拳们的造作，如果非要表达你表的的事物，那为什么不说情感价值？

[@Kangraze]

@@JeanKarov那我请问什么不庸俗呢？ 人与人之间的关系就一定比金钱高尚？ 如果真的这样的话，这世上就没那么多为钱反目的兄弟姊妹了

[@JeanKarov]

@@burykely 因为我认为你使用的一个词恶心，你就要让全人类跟着恶心？

[@Steve_Xue]

感谢莉雅老师的英语教学视频，有中英文的对照非常好。这对于我这个没有一点语言天赋的人可以反复地收看去找感觉。👍👍👍

[@shawnyan1581]

虽然这个话题我不感兴趣，但是听你说话很舒服，很放松的感觉，加油！

[@cl2464]

It's almost the same situation in China, especially in recent years. I also have some friends who don't want to get married or have children even after getting married. Thanks for sharing.

[@OGCHuila]

Is that because of the cost of having children?

[@cl2464]

​@@OGCHuila They all have decent income, so I think the more important may be the change of lifestyle and free time reduction.

[@tamoc2354]

富裕国家都有这种现象，年轻一代的收入无法和他们的父辈当年相比，根本原因是人均寿命延长引起的。寿命延长，老年人变多，退休延迟，利益向老年人倾斜，财富向老年人集中，年轻人更穷，找不到（好）工作，不结婚不买房躺平。假如人均活到120岁，年轻人就得50岁才能入职场。假如人均寿命40岁，那15岁就能找到工作，16岁结婚，财富也就在年轻人手中。现代社会发展的穷途末路。

[@joycechen7084]

如果雙方對婚姻抱持的態度依然傳統（男主外、女主內）那或許有些不合時宜！但如果雙方在生活上都能各自獨力，並不必然在某些層面要大量依賴對方，那結婚比較是加分！ 但同意要找到契合的對象並不容易，也希望若彼此不適合，就該適時放手！

[@stevenxia-ep2qx]

Thank you for sharing the American culture about marriage.

[@whitetoby1917]

在小红书上看了很久 今天终于看到KZbin平台！你的英语教学很有意思！学到不少！加油！

[@jingen66]

The key here is the 'right person', I think it's common in morden society, marriage simply means two right persons getting together.

[@棣郝-t8m]

确实 老师就是我的理想型 有一种东方的谦逊

[@pterosaur7553]

很漂亮，有东方美女的含蓄，知性。爱了

[@Matrixlin]

很有氣質女性，吸引很多人目光

[@CarportCarl]

As a life long American in my early 60s and my parents were teens during WW2, they raised all 3 of us boys to do all those things and maintain the house and cars. Also as a father myself I help with raising our children by feeding, bathing, reading to them, having dinner together as a family. My uncles also assisted around the house, but for 1. I am a bit puzzled why someone your age would be raised differently. You and your brothers should have had all household chores as duties at home.

[@jiagaocao]

婚姻是上帝设立的是赐给男人和女人的礼物，所以人们对婚姻观有正确认识是非常重要的！

[@lyttlebee]

你知道上帝还允许很多国家一夫多妻或者一妻多夫么？

[@aliceli3392]

I believe that traditional marriage is still worth valuing. In such a model, the man is responsible for providing for the family, while the woman takes care of the household and children. This kind of harmonious marriage is beneficial for the children’s growth and societal stability. If a couple has a child before marriage, and the man doesn’t want to provide for the family, the woman then has to work and raise the child. If the woman is very responsible, the child may still be raised well. However, if the woman is also irresponsible, the child could be neglected or not receive proper care. Children who grow up without the warmth of a family are more likely to go astray. If many people follow this pattern, it could cause problems for society.

[@郭景瑞-j5r]

氣質美女很有自己見解，確實結婚是為了讓人生更圓滿幸福，希望大家都能找到幸福❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@KL-0102]

One thing girls missed is women past 30 is considered late pregnancy. So if you think the traditional route of dating, marriage and kids (and get a job) you really don’t have much time to date around in your 20’s.

[@DavidLee-ob5lv]

估计比较年轻的关系， 她的想法还在年轻未婚女性的想法阶段。 个人的觉得女性每过一段时间， 她们的想法会180度改变似的， 特别是对婚姻，孩子还有事业和钱的理解！！！

[@Andrey-vy9bb]

The real reason is because one person can't pay for all members of a family anymore. Plus, the debts which you have after university, after buying a house are enormous. In the US also you don't have a normal-cost healthcare and "parent vacation". There're still a few countries in the world, that have such conditions for a family life. But with a population decrees - they won't have it. I'm Russian. Live in Saint Petersburg, and we have almost the same.

[@lemonmusiclanguageschool1391]

Thanks for sharing with us the current Americans' minds, thoughts and their lives. Those sharings have greatly helped me in getting know more about US nowadays.

[@haoandy4451]

你选择的话题都非常有意思，作为一位在海外的中国人很受你话题的吸引。

[@shirleylin834]

莉雅老師妳好，我是最近才開始看妳的影片，我覺得妳說話的聲音很好聽，語速也很慢，很適合我拿來當聽力練習。想請問老師為什麼中文這麼好？老師的影片我會繼續支持下去😊

[@terrrell7798]

I was physically and emotionally abused by alot of women outside of my family. What most people fail to realize you don't have to date to love someone. If you love them, you love them.

[@Gabriel3344-p8j]

I don't think so. In Sichuan, men do most things, including taking care of children, working, and doing housework, because when you build a family, it's a matter for two people, and you should share the burden and help each other.

[@BettermentBlueprint1]

agreed

[@ricoyuan843]

说的是事实，但不至于这么离谱

[@charlesxie6421]

在中国大部分地区，特别是江南地区，男人需要做家务，照顾孩子；还要赚钱😂😂

[@WernerLin-t7n]

在討論伴侶或是婚姻的問題是大部分的議題都圍繞在太多其他的因素，事情很簡單，一男一女在一起，有小孩，有家庭，這是人性，這個寫在大家到基因裡面，這是人類得以生存跟發展到現在的重要因素。不論外在環境如何，還是建議年輕人可以往家庭這條路前進，幸福家庭帶來的快樂不是其他東西可以補上的。本人經過一次失敗的婚姻，但不影響我對家庭到追求，現在第二段婚姻有小孩，體會到人生另一個層次的滿足。

[@larryleoca]

Your Mr. Right is in Canada. He is my son. He is handsome, works hard, and will take good care of his family in the future. It is worth getting to know him.😊

[@tonyz6694]

男性和女性的需求和期望值有差距。估计随着AI的发展仿生人的进步，男女都不需要结婚了，就和完全符合自己要求的仿生人过就可以了。

[@DaySunny-zb5su]

我想问一下，我正在追求一个abc女孩，她的想法会不会跟美国的女孩一样呢？😅

[@climberjoe5048]

I can't judge your view, however, I really like your soft tone and American accent.

[@marywat7690]

How about American boys/men, do they want to get married? Thanks!

[@willson1314]

我住蒙特利尔 我的法语老师给我们说 在魁北克很少人结婚 但是同居的很多 也不妨碍生孩子 感觉婚庆生意在这个地方就是黄昏行业

[@holyziv007]

重男輕女這觀念在台灣已經很淡薄了 很多台灣男人結婚之後都希望能有女兒的誕生 因為女生比男生貼心 溫柔 善解人意 現在的男生多會做家事 去學烹飪 烘培 會修繕 電燈 馬桶 電腦 會選購適合家裡的電器 我還曾經幫前女友哥哥的小嬰兒換尿布 和洗澡 在台灣你要是很懶 隨時都會被女人拋棄

[@鄭水-i5s]

已閱！所謂對的那個人，就得看自己喜不喜啦！長的又好看，性格又合，三觀一直！兩個人合作愉快又快樂！當然這是最好的打算！畢竟一個人也是生活，兩個人就是不一樣的生活！我喜歡中國漢語有句話，看緣分吧！隨緣！有經濟基礎最好啦！

[@tildarusso]

婚姻在中国从来不是简单的所谓爱情而是家族的联姻，无论如今家族/家庭这个概念淡化到何种程度。而这也比单纯的爱情更加稳固，对男女双方都是如此。不容易出现家庭暴力等问题。所谓的爱情大部分时候只是荷尔蒙作用而已。在过去有地位的白人特别是贵族中间，家族联姻也是一个普遍的practice。还记得Haus Habsburg么🤣。

[@gushudong]

Thanks a lot for help me learning English，you are so good to teach student

[@SpongiousBird]

I admit, I'm embarassed by how little I was helping my ex-partner with chores and cooking. But when I think back to my childhood and how my mom raised me, I remember wanting to help constantly, and to clean up my bedroom, just to be told "NO, I'll do it". I wasn't trusted to be able to do anything properly and I became lazy about it. I believe there's something wrong with how boys are taught about chores and responsibilities, in North America.

[@liuhongqian]

American don't check 彩礼，but it does not mean white girls love Asian guys. They care about skin color, your job, language and religion. BTW, a lot of american girls expect their husband has a "respectful job" , which means high ranked position or a lot of money.

[@AndyLu-cz8xh]

Awesome, I agree some points 0:02 but disagree some of them. Overall it’s very good

[@shihtim4958]

在0:51那, "usually after you're married, you'll go buy house together"... 請問莉雅老師~為什麼是 will go buy 呢!? 這樣不是兩個動詞了!!

[@emulate6517]

可以 go + 动词原形， let's go get some food; let's go watch movie, shall we?

[@Kubom2024]

看LIYA老師久了會愛上她 所以還是少看比較好 太溫柔了>

[@jenniferyuan4861]

You have natural grace. Reading books enriches our minds. May you live a self-fulfillment life.

[@h24eric1]

台灣也差不多狀況 不過我比較欣賞歐美人士對約會對象的概念 不見得要以結婚為前提，不會很看重對方的收入職業，資產... 女生自願單身的原因大概就是覺得1+1

[@WistrelChianti]

I think everyone feels this way. Can't find the nice people.

[@today1681]

Leah, thank you for sharing the American culture about marriage. I think here in Taiwan, more and more young men or women tend not to be married because of financial and economic concerned, the living index are higher and higher than ever before, even when a young couple get married, they tend not to having a child or buying a house, it’s extremely hard here in Taiwan, that’s why our birth rate keep dropping down these years, I think the conditions are the same in most of Asian countries.

[@htwcore]

Good essay。

[@2DarkHorizon]

You are right its the same problem all over the world. No matter how people might see it differently. Please read above and confirm. Studies show in the USA the lowest groups in socioeconomic status only have a marriage rate of 30 percent whilst the highest have a marriage rate of 70 percent. Being in a good socioeconomic status more than doubles your chances of getting married. Also those in higher socioeconomic status experience lower rates of divorce. Asian americans are most likely to marry and have the lowest divorce rate in the USA This shows women havn't change throughout the ages since the dawn of time. Women still want higher socioeconomic status men. It is the same all around the world to varying degrees. The biggest difference about American women I observe. Is they like a person that is very good at communicating to charm them. In what they call rizz. Having good humour goes a long way with them. Especially a humour that is Americanised style.

[@today1681]

@@2DarkHorizon Yes, I agree with you. And thank you for letting me know the word “rizz”. Except for rizz, I think that since most Asian women are rather conservative nature than Western women, so many girls would prefer to look for a man who is with good personality, such as easy to be getting alone, thoughtful and considerate for others, or if the man is with characteristic of tidy, diligent, hardworking, ambitious, etc., while she is looking for a possible companion. Still, I agree that“rizz” men are a common attractive factor, this isn’t difference from western to Asian world, all people like to meet charming touch wherever they are.

[@2DarkHorizon]

@@today1681 its a difference. Rizz in USA i say requires more time and effort. People date more often and at a younger age in USA so women are very experienced in getting Rizzed and playing along. So naturally you need to have more skills at it. I already factored in the socioeconomic statuts which indirectly includes, hardworking ambitious, diliigent. these type of people usually have good education and money. But Rizz is a separate factor.

[@today1681]

@@2DarkHorizon Ok, thank you for telling me about Rizz, though I am still a bit confused, but I’ll try to figure out what the Rizz really is.

[@totoromao4672]

That is great sharing the differences between two cultures. I used to think of doing more like similar topics to help new immigrants adapt to the new environment quickly. Those field could be the work place, the school and so on.

[@jianchen2056]

莉雅是完美女孩~！！！祝莉雅永远开心幸福！！！给心心！！！❤

[@big9fat7]

你好老师，看你的视频学习英语，想提个建议，能不能不要加字幕，或者只添加在CC功能里，需要的话可以自己打开。

[@sepfrank]

I love your soft and tender voice, attract me to listen more ❤.

[@jianboyan8078]

我记得这个视频很早以前在B站就看过，两个平台没同步？

[@FelixFeiWang]

I'm so curious ,since when you decide start learn chinese?

[@haomao-h6i]

看你的视频很有帮助❤

[@Jonipoon]

May I ask you how come you use Chinese headers and subtitles in your videos? I'm just curious, since I lived in China for 4 years myself.

[@Sam.jishan]

can you remove Chinese subtitle？ it”s difficult to avoid to see it😅😅

[@larryh6934]

You could be a very highly sensitive person who is super sensitive to the energies and emotions of others around you .. which becomes exhausting . Relationships become challenging because creating your boundaries does not come naturally. ❤❤

[@sooo0kie]

Even if you found the right guy and he cancdo all the chores nothing can guarantee your happiness. Lower expectations to others and yourself can help overcome a lot of things, but it's also the hardest thing to do.

[@Pinnian]

很早以前，还在学校学英文的时候，我就发现我只听得董美女老师讲的英文，这么多年过去了，发现果然还是那个样子😂…

[@andymu1969]

Do American weddings take place in a church? Or was it held in the park? Is it usually organized and held by the groom's family or by the bride's family?

[@RED_FAI]

really Nice I have chance to watch your video occasionally. It's interesting to know the culture of USA.

[@nckumem5383]

marriage is tough to deal, yet it can be one aspect of life joy. I do agree with the host opinion

[@yongdeng1813]

Where did you learn chinese? Did you go abroad to china for a period of time?

[@chinazjl-yd8xj]

老师希望你找到一个正确的人。人生是一场体验，人也是环境的产物，我觉得什么年龄做什么事情，到了自己80岁的时候，回头看，不后悔，那就行，够了。此生无悔。不用在乎别人怎么看怎么说。自己的人生自己决定。来中国看看，也许你会找到正确的人。

[@mxzlray3905]

趁莉雅老师单身赶紧追😄婚姻方面很多国家都有类似方面，个人觉得美国婚姻的传统观念没那么重开明些，女生单纯些，可能很多较早结婚的跟信仰有关，很多信基督，教导方面比较提倡有各自的家庭和孩子

[@rosangelasantos-v1l]

Garota, gostei muito do seu jeito. Estou aprendendo inglês e te ouvir enquanto leio as legendas tem me ajudado muito. Sua voz soa suave e clara pra mim. Continue com esse estilo de vídeo.

[@小波探世界]

If I get along with my wife for more than 3 months together, actually we would not marry each other.. I believe my wife think same. but now we still live together and we are happy now...

[@zack-3d-animation]

You help me to understand more about American Culture. Thank you for sharing your opinions

[@jiansong5311]

您说出了许多美国女孩不想结婚的原因，即：家务负担重和女性的经济能力变好了。这在很多经济发达的国家和地区都有这个情况。截至目前我的理解是：婚姻制度出现的直接原因人民出于经济或者生存的考虑。比如古时候的男人的经济能力比女人要强很多。出于人的私心，他们需要确保自己的财产能够用来抚养并留给自己的后代。那时的婚姻基本上会伴随着公开的仪式--婚礼。这其实就是在向周围的人宣示：这个女人是我的妻子，她只能和我生育后代，而我将供养他们，其他人不得染指。而作为经济能力弱，需要接受供养才能生存的女人则会在婚后出于分工合作的考虑，而自愿承担起家务劳动，这其中当然也包括照看孩子。 拿上述婚姻制度出现的原因来审视当今社会就会发现：女性的经济能力变得非常好了，完全不再有生存之忧。而如果让女人们在外出忙碌工作挣钱的同时还要继续承担起全部或者大部分的家务劳动自然是不公平的。如果男人们不能转变想法的话，自然无法与女人达成默契并共同生活。这也许是很多女方难以遇到真爱的原因之一。 原本婚姻制度存在的基础既然已经动摇，是否会有其他东西可以代替并让婚姻制度继续存在下去，我还没想清楚。但是我觉得总的趋势是婚姻制度会逐渐消亡。虽然男女相爱是人的天性，但在很多情况下是没有必要以婚姻这个形式来维持的。

[@jamesbeck6401]

You are a great speaker very articulate

[@jerry-wt3ob]

She is honest. girls do want get married but are hard to find right person. IF you live in us long enough and you look your community neighborhood, you will understand what is she mentioned right person.

[@fantasyEXX]

She is right to a degree about men in the US being like that, but not all are like that. On the contrary, men are looking for a woman who can cook, clean, etc. and many women are lacking those skills. There are guys who do like to cook and can clean, etc. but in this day and age, a relationship shouldn't be so one sided. Both sides have to do their parts to make it work. Delegating those tasks is important

[@Just-Keep-Buying]

很喜歡你的影片！🧧

[@alberteinstein7180]

yeah I feel related as a man, I'm always trying not to fall in love with anyone because I know I'm lacking a lot of things like cooking ( my cooking skill's just terrible), getting a higher-salary job or taking care children. I'd rather be alone than making my future wife feel exhausted

[@xuzhang-nc7rk]

It is interesting to know that many girls don’t want to get married. I think maybe these days girls have higher expectations than before about boys or happy marriage. As a men, it is hard to meet women’s expectations. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[@HANHANGO]

發音超好聽，用字也很清楚易懂，什麼時候可以在美國跟莉雅老師見面🤣

[@takagi8470]

太适合联系听力了😄

[@LowerRight]

yeah i agree your point and the same is true in china,especially girl can independent don't need boy

[@宇神教的信徒]

基本教🙏（宇神教）的基价观（基本价值观）： 人人生而自由，在基本权界上一律平等❗️☝️😋👍

[@宇神教的信徒]

❗️😋👍

[@AndyLu-cz8xh]

Leah, have read the book Lean In by Sherry Sandberg?

[@jiefkong1248]

祝福您和生活愉快，單身和獨立不是壞事。

[@chanhkbrother888]

I would like to ask Leah what you think about your marriage?

[@remuspierre7573]

Good Advice

[@LittleLing.Channel]

喜欢记得声音❤

[@SiddharthSinghFiery69]

This is true even in India, at least for me. I'm a 31 yo Indian man and I dislike getting married and the idea of a marriage.

[@charlesxie6421]

记得在哔哩哔哩上看过你的视频。很喜欢😘！

[@OliverLEE-hq7bi]

There should be a lot of men like this in China, who come home from get off work to help take care of children, cook and do housework.

[@OGCHuila]

Only if the wife also works an equally demanding job.

[@OliverLEE-hq7bi]

@@OGCHuila In fact, the vast majority of men in China still love their wives very much, and it's part of our culture. As for the work aspect you mentioned, this is indeed a problem as well, because it will involve the issue of whether there is any common topic in living together.

[@seans2876]

结婚就是两人一起参加一项建造金字塔的工程 完工期是双方死亡日. 婚礼就是工程开工仪式. 和其他仪式不同的是 别的开工仪式是领导铲土剪裁兴高采烈. 婚礼是建筑工人自己剪裁 兴高采烈 然后就要去甩开膀子干活了 旁边基本都是观众. 开工以后可能遇到的问题有 两个人建筑水平不在一个层面 无法配合，两个人心中的金字塔完全不一样最后造出个四不像，周围🈶很多亲戚会按照自己的意愿给很多指导意见，想半路撂挑子成本很高 政府需要你清空施工现场运走垃圾不的阻碍交通 等等.在二十多的年轻人想通这一切还是决定走入婚姻签下这份余生合同的人们 我祝福你们.

[@niemansianpier4668]

Hi, I watched your video about your love of solitude and I think I feel a bit like that... You inspire peace and serenity in me. Thanks for sharing your experiences 👍

[@Hero-h931]

I quite like your video.😊

[@musicseverythingAZ]

I like your way of speaking❤

[@TheStonefai]

Your US family like a typical family in Hong Kong. The eldest daughter always is expected to do more household chores. 😁

[@JasonLLL]

不过似乎美国社会还有另外一面，今天听planet money，里面讲了一种特别的关系V型关系，polyamory，由于经济原因所以两个男的和一个女的一起生活。而且看其他的书介绍，好像美国人结婚也是很考虑经济条件的，和中国相似度更高，相对于北欧来说。因为政府鼓励共同缴税，然后有的时候医保也要依赖于另外一半的雇主代缴，总之，美国人的独立性由于经济原因好像比50年前要下降了