r/AITA I Falsely Accused a Veteran of Stolen Valor

[@whafrog]

Story 3: I love how he "tried to act chummy with her" instead of just taking responsibility and apologizing. What a coward.

[@justinthompson6364]

Was looking for this comment. Acting all buddy buddy without apologizing is even more irritating than not saying anything tbh.

[@matthewprier4340]

Yeah, whenever I hear someone saying they hate the military it's always one of these sort of tales that comes out. It's military "service" and it's not something you do for clout if you're doing it right, as reflected by the pay and the contract you sign. And a lot of us did what we could or felt right doing and that's it, it's not our whole personality. Sounds like he came across one of the many veterans who had to do the things no one should and would rather not rehash it, probably not "glory days' for them at this point.

[@SketchyCrayon]

Yeah not to mention the entitlement he had, excusing her attempts to not talk about a hard time in her life.

[@Angeltouch23]

Should at least lead with a sincere apology for his rudeness

[@frith.calluna]

The absolute cherry on top for me is how OP really emphasizes that "a certain amount of bravado is required" and then proceeds to act like a spineless coward by not taking any responsibility and apologizing to the woman.

[@ahhhhhh8493]

As someone who grew up with money tight, birthday parties were never a problem. Public park, potluck, minimal presents from parents, box cake mix/homemade cake, there you go, birthday party an 8 year old will have an absolute blast at. It doesn't matter if it's fancy it's about having a day to themselves and hanging out with their friends. The mom was definitely just throwing a fit.

[@Nightdominia]

Ours were simple too. Usually was my favorite dinner, a box cake, and a couple presents and cards. I really didn't have friends and few family nearby, so no need to feed extra people.😅

[@dahness564]

We weren't that well off either, but my family did their best with what they had, usually i would get like a big present one year, then for like 3-4 years it would be just normal gifts, but i was still thankful, there were ocassions when my parents told me we could not have a party and i understood, the mom is just being an asshole here

[@dahness564]

We weren't that well off either, but my family did their best with what they had, usually i would get like a big present one year, then for like 3-4 years it would be just normal gifts, but i was still thankful, there were ocassions when my parents told me we could not have a party and i understood, the mom is just being an asshole here

[@PhoenixInFirestadium]

As a big family (parents & 5 kids) we just celebrated without extended family or friends. We were very poor. My dad bought cake from the discounter and the birthday kid got a few smaller presents like CDs, books, chocolate, etc. I never knew it any other way and no one complained. We were just happy. So I honestly don't get the we need to throw huge parties for everything culture.

[@hotarubinariko]

One of the best birthday parties I ever had, my parents went to a shipping place and ask if they could take a bunch of old boxes they were slatted to recycle, they bought some tape and paint and they let me and my friends build ourselves a box castle and paint it! It was incredible and barely cost anything since my mom and grandma did all the cooking and baking at home. You can make an amazing birthday for $20 if you get creative.

[@TheLeafcuter]

when i was little, my dad once said "we cant afford to buy milk" while having a passing conversation, and that fucked me up so bad in thinking I was a burden to him. can you IMAGINE what "we cant afford your birthday" would do to a childs psyche?

[@tebthecat]

I can. A few years ago, my dad bought me a really expensive set of color pencils as a present. Keep in mind, I didn't ask for him to spend so much, I just wanted a set of cheap ones. A week later, when we were at the art store, he specifically pointed out the set he had bought so I could see the price. He also yelled at me once for not using them enough, as if I was wasting the gift. Now, six years later, he still mentions how expensive the set was, as though he regrets it... and people question why I have such a difficult time trusting my family.

[@nicolethetford3095]

@@tebthecat I’m so sorry you experienced this and continue to deal with that kind of BS. 🫶

[@eric98292]

It costs less than $10 for a box cake, frosting and candles. Another $10 for decorations at the dollar store. Have a party at their house with just some similar age cousins and have a sleepover. Super cheap. But the mom doesn't want that, she wants a big fancy party ok OPs dime. What a selfish mom.

[@zenozitelze]

Fr!! parties aren’t that expensive em either, some candy or a cheap piñata, music and a couple a friends is enough for any little kid (Talking from experience here)

[@fdm2155]

Also, when did we decide kid's birthday parties are essential? If money is tight... why didn't the parents do a pot luck or something and just get an inexpensive cake? It doesn't have to be a blowout sweet 16 kinda event.

[@KittyZoe]

As a female veteran, I feel for the woman in the story. I had a horrible time during my service and hate when people ask me what it was like. I'll tell them where I served, but after that, it's no one's business. Also, its always intimidating to be a young female veteran in a mostly older and male dominated space.

[@alexskywalker5478]

No one is obligated for any information from your past if you don't feel comfortable telling them anything I wish you a wonderful day and I hope you are doing well Thank you for your service

[@abiean222]

thank you for your service and i'm sorry you have to deal with assholes

[@Some_Guy6]

Ikr, i like the army stuff and also can get exited like J about it. But there's also lots of stuff i don't want to talk about, no matter how much you want to push me. There are things you prefer to not talk about and just forget. I would prefer to be "stolen valour" (even tough OP clearly does not know what it means) Then to be such a massive a-hole like OP.

[@sarahrigdon7311]

It was a guy but in college we had this one class that was always doing group projects. There was an older guy in class not old old just in his 30s he was miltay would wear his uniformsometimes. I paired with him after the 5th project at the end of the project he says to me, "thank you for not asking if I killed anyone" he requested to stay partnered with me after that because I did not try to get horror stories from him. Some people need to talk other don't want to you should never press anyone and I hate that women are kinda pressed to to prove their service.

[@DoctorOaks]

I heard the story on a different video last week, and oh my lord the number of people in the comments going "Op should trust his guts. She could've faked those documents. Sounds like she's just a liar." etc were unbelievable. I was just like "You know that they CONTACT people who give out the recommendations right?" because there's no way she wouldn't have gotten blasted if she tried to fake a letter of recommendation from a rear admiral.

[@Cosmiccrying]

Jays "soft and unassuming" personality could 100% be helpful for various things in the military, my grandpa was in the navy and even though he always looks grumpy (resting "get off my lawn" guy face) he's the sweetest man I've ever met and does everything he can for me, Not everyone who served is like the stereotypes.

[@queenofputrescence5167]

My Dad retired as a Colonel after 30 years in the Army. You wouldn't guess that by looking or talking to him at all when he was out of uniform.

[@giggle_snort]

My uncle was in the air force when he was younger. Sweet, soft-spoken guy from Germany who doesn't even have any kind of "resting face" lol. And my grandpa (dad's dad) was in the army. I didn't know him well, he died when I was little, but I've heard enough stories to know he was also soft-spoken, very loving, and had a goofy sense of humor. The stereotypes are just that, they are not a set of prerequisites. People of all types and temperaments have served, and served well.

[@InalienableOtter]

The “bravado matters” ones tend to get stuck as a NCO and eventually get dismissed when they fail to get the mandatory promotions.

[@TheRaven_200]

My dad is a Vietnam veteran. He has the most cheerful and happy face you'll see.

[@fendviyo]

Imagine having a birthday cake and instead of cutting a slice, they lick all the frosting off. Diabolical behaviour 😂

[@thementaldancer7579]

I had a very similar situation to that, cousins GF sat there after cake and picked all the topping of the leftover cake, I was so pissed off

[@tntaylor101]

Lolll My daughter, maybe 12 at the time? ate THE ENTIRE meringue off the top of a fresh-out-the-oven banana pudding. And that dessert had been gorgeous! 😂😢😂

[@BennyLlama]

​@tntaylor101 meringue is pretty good though 😂

[@dutchvanderbilt9969]

Do that and you'll catch something

[@lorilancaster5917]

Or one AITA story which a woman ate all the skins off all the fried chicken because it’s her favorite part and everyone could just eat the rest. And if I remember the story correctly the woman got mad at OP when he demands that she reimburse for the entire bucket since she contaminated it

[@justinedoner8576]

My grandpa was a veteran and I still remember him picking a fight with some guy at church who he thought was stolen valor. I still think about the look on that man’s face and his family’s. I’ve never been so embarrassed. I understand that stolen valor is bad but to harass someone without truly knowing? Those people are miserable.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Yeah. If you can actually prove it's stolen valor, than go ham. But if you can't be certain, why take that chance?

[@mjrnnevershade]

Most times it is people can tell when you have stolen valor. My favorite one to have dealt with, was a guy younger than me at the time (25) who had 10 stripes on his sleeve. Anyone who knows that, knows he was a little shithead who couldn't have even been born during his "service".

[@Dennys854]

@@mjrnnevershade Agree. I was once at clothing sales getting service stripes for a soldier's greens for his retirement. Lady asks how many. (I'd just gotten my commission). I say 1 for 3 right? She says yes. I say ok, I need 11. Looks at me like I have 2 heads. Then I say "It's for my retiring 1SG". Smiles.

[@michamocha]

Story 1: I'm pretty sure the boyfriend didn't mean it as him claiming all of the leftovers. Op's actions ruined _all_ of the leftovers which stops him from eating any at all. YTA because that's like the biggest AH move I've ever heard 😭.

[@giggle_snort]

Exactly! Like fine, eat the toppings off one slice if you really must, but leave some of the pizza for everyone else to enjoy you freak!!

[@adri9974]

The only redeeming thing is she offered to buy him a new one

[@badvoodoo2097]

She’s clearly crazy

[@lindsey2300]

If that's the biggest AH move you have ever heard of, then you must be new to the world. Or live under some rock. The toppings are the best part. My kid and I both have done that. Granted, if he paid for the pizza and was expecting to have the leftovers, then I understand him initially being annoyed about it, but once she offered the pay for another pizza, he is just bitching for the sake of it. I'd leave him to his pizza and his hand and go find someone else to spend the night with.

[@michamocha]

@@lindsey2300 Girlie it was a joke, an exaggeration lmao. The difference between you and him is the fact that BOTH you and your kid do it, assuming that you're both sharing the pizza and/or doing it to your own servings and that anyone else is cool with it. It's completely different when someone goes and eat ALL of the toppings on an entire pizza that they're sharing with someone else. Other people like toppings and yeah, they would be angry too if someone ate the toppings off a pizza they also wanted to it. People are allowed to be annoyed with you when you do AH things lmao.

[@mr_dnd]

Just want to say RSlash, I absolutely LOVE when you start reading the story neutrally, then realise they're TA part way through so slip into the Karen/Kevin voice. It completely makes these videos for me.

[@Chris-wt1eq]

Is it me or have I heard all these stories already on rslash

[@mr_dnd]

@@Chris-wt1eq sometimes things on Reddit get repeated, I don't expect RSlash to remember from the hundreds of videos he's done!

[@walkofnails2923]

The military vet guy didn’t seem like he even apologized to J. He just tried to be chummy and act like it hadn’t happened. If he wanted any shot of being on good terms with her, he would’ve swallowed his know-it-all pride and made a genuine apology to her.

[@animeotaku307]

Glad someone pointed out that Bob “we don’t make mistakes we make happy accidents” Ross was a former drill sergeant . That’s the first person who came to mind when OP spewed his drivel.

[@Justuravfrogmom]

Don't forget Mr Rogers

[@Josh_the_jester]

A quick Google search shows he was a master Sargent at in air force base in Alaska, the snowy mountains he paint were what he saw in his time served

[@theronsmith3303]

@@Justuravfrogmom urban legend

[@blackroberts6290]

Drill Sergeant Bob Ross: What do you mean happy little accidents? 100 push-ups right now or I'm gonna use you as a brush into the pavement!!

[@mitchverr9330]

Military story: She is a woman that served on a boat, theres sadly a good chance certain issues happened as to why she doesnt wish to talk about it, yet alone classified etc. Sexual abuse in the military is sadly still a big issue.

[@huginug]

I think she also sensed he was looking down on her and didn't want to be quizzed

[@mitchverr9330]

@@huginug That too, just more reason to not engage with OP the clown.

[@Nightdominia]

It also could be she's not allowed to speak of what they did. Covert Ops and stuff is still a thing as well. She might've been involved in an Op she didn't agree with. It tends to make a person disillusioned about being in the military.

[@djmanat1775]

That was my thought exactly- SA is a huge problem in the military, and what's worse is how far they go to cover it up.

[@SadGhost123]

I get being suspicious if the other person cant provide any details but his whole attitude about it, what he did and how he did it was just atrocious.

[@Metal_Mouth]

Story 3: I just love op's reaction to learning he was dead wrong about a veteran's valor was "whoops" So yeah, not only did he assumed J was a liar because she wasn't a blowhard and tried to pry info on an obviously painful period of her life, he was so confident he was right he was a talking shit about her to her peers. J's lucky that M cleared it up or else J's reputation would've' been ruined.

[@LilDevyl17]

Not mention even when he found out that he was wrong, he didn't even apologize to her. Just, "The next time I saw J I tried to act all chummy to her to make for what I did." Yeah, great way to makeup by not admitting your wrong and not apologizing either.

[@Some_Guy6]

@@LilDevyl17 OP should be happy she did not file a official complaint against him.

[@Josh_the_jester]

What a boot

[@shannonp1656]

Men like OP are probably why J doesn't want to talk about her time in service.

[@Ndizzyinthehizzy]

When I read the story I was like "Former SWO, MBA Program, It just wasn't a good period of my life" Yep, it all checks out. That community has a less than 20% retention rate for a reason.

[@hollowmagnet5716]

Story 4: tbh, my parrents are homophobic so if I was dating someone with gay parents I would like to know so I could avoid having my parents meet them, and seeing that she told her parents to leave before they had a chance to see makes me think that she was hiding them from her parents in fear that they would ban them from dating.

[@AshendrisSilvermist]

I'd believe that about this story IF she'd apologized to OP and continued to want to date him after she'd ushered her parents away. She did not do either which pretty much screams "I'm homophobic!" from the mountain top.

[@hollowmagnet5716]

@@AshendrisSilvermist he didn't mention anything about what happend after the meeting or say anything about her breaking up with him so we can't say for sure if she was the homophobic one

[@lemonbars1576]

Personally I always read this story as she's also homophobic but you're right it could be her parents are and she's trying to avoid conflict but obviously that's not the perfect game plan sense you can't hide your partner's parents forever

[@CultofHappwer]

That's what I was thinking, he really messed up lol

[@melodyharpole8272]

There's certain things about your parents you need to tell your partner before their parents come over. Are they the same sex? Dramatically different in ages? Does one have a disability? If this is real, op purposely blindsided his date. This is to be expected by somebody who was raised by narcissistic homosexuals. The entire movement is based on narcissism.

[@KierstenM93]

The fact that she had a Rear Admiral provide a recommendation is huge. Most sailors are lucky if she they just get a Chief’s recommendation. That Marine was a total jerk. He’s probably what some of us call a “boot.”

[@sarahrigdon7311]

Please tell me that is short for something like always boots on the ground because there is nothing in their heads

[@Nayas_Scattered_Mind]

@@sarahrigdon7311 I looked it up, it’s used to describe someone who’s fresh out of boot camp, who is inexperienced, usually the target of hazing, and still mentally stuck in boot camp mode.

[@sarahrigdon7311]

@@Nayas_Scattered_Mind thank you

[@hollymoore2572]

@@sarahrigdon7311 it’s also used when someone is being excessively over the top with how they act. like they’re the coolest shit ever bc they made it through boot camp and they’re a Marine. i once saw a guy at a bar, and he was being a huge problem, and drunk and shit. he got kicked out by two of the bouncers (both former military loll) and he was all “if you hit me then you’re dAmAGiNg gOvERnmEnT pRoPErtY” and shit. it was SO cringe.

[@benjie128]

Bob Ross was a drill Sargeant. And when he left the air force, he pursued a painting career and is loved by millions for his calm and soothing voice.

[@AliSakurai]

Exactly! Loved watching his show for years and I only found out when I was 15 that he was in the Air Force. I was genuinely surprised because he was so calm.

[@benjie128]

@@AliSakurai all the episodes are available for free on KZbin.

[@darth-severus]

Now I'm just picturing him doing all the stuff that drill Sargeants usually scream at people, except he's just saying it all super calmly, and honestly I think I'm more scared of that

[@linda-0587]

I can see it: “Alright, so we’re just gonna do 500 pushups and a twenty mile jog…alright? Good good, and then we’re just gonna…I don’t know, do some full crunches in full rucksack…”

[@Tustin2121]

I recall him saying in one of his episodes that when he left the military, he vowed never to raise his voice again because he hated doing it so much. His paintings are basically all based on Alaska, where he was based.

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: Not everyone wants to describe their military life (Heck, I doubt a lot of WWII and Vietnam vets would want to either), so OP shouldn't poke around. If she doesn't to talk about it, that's it. The end. Yes, stolen valor exists, but you can't jump to that conclusion. That's an Olympic leap

[@LLandS18]

Agreed. Plus, no one has to share their stories with you just because they share common background with you

[@36ydna]

It is a bit suspicious though when she can't answer basic questions about where she served, I think that there might be a follow up on this in the near future.

[@suitov]

And why would someone lie about being in the military _to a veteran?_ Nobody's that stupid. OP being like "oh you were in the navy? Name every single ship!" like an absolute basement dweller is so cringe. And then trying to be pally with her instead of, y'know, humbly apologising! If someone was in the military and says they can't talk about some details of their service, you'd think an ex service person would be like "oh, ok, must be classified shit" and move on with their day. And if they don't _want_ to talk about it... you'd think he'd have heard of PTSD and not be so rude as to press the issue!

[@thunderflare59]

You were in the military? Name every rank.

[@Mewse1203]

My dad was a Vietnam vet and I heard him talk about it ONCE my whole life. And he started tearing up while doing so.

[@weareallbronies9031]

To add onto the bob ross thing, ross actually swore to never yell again after serving in the military.

[@j.c.2240]

Now I have the image of Bob Ross being on a roller coaster and calmly saying "weeeeeee"

[@DefyReality-ll2cg]

​@@j.c.2240 🤣

[@aidanjackson5084]

It's honestly news to me that Bob Ross served as a Military Drill Sergeant. You learn something new everyday

[@michaeltelson9798]

Many combat veterans do not talk about their service. It might be something to the strain that the combat did on them. My great uncle served on WWII in a combat engineer battalion. I never heard any combat stories directly from him, only from my father. He was decorated and was through Normandy (first wave), the dash across France, the Battle of the Bulge and ended up in Austria.

[@ChaoticTabris]

Ross served in Alaska, he loved the landscapes there and that is why he was inspired to paint landscapes. He says he also hated that his job was essentially ruining other people's days for small mistakes, that is why he swore never to yell again after leaving.

[@lilibako397]

Veteran story: women face this in everything, music, games, even their own sexuality or ethnicity. I am an immigrant, and multiple men quizzed me on my mothertongue before. Thanks for standing up for us, Rslash.

[@leileyaravencroft]

Ew. I hate the “oh so you know about (insert whatever here), then let me quiz you…” In my younger years, I would get that question on ANYTHING that I liked: music, gaming, literature (yes this has really happened to me), not so much history (because oddly enough most men I’ve come across don’t know Jack all about it 😂). But I think the one that bothered me the most was being told what I SHOULD like. I’m black, I must like rap. I’m a woman who used to write vampire stories then I MUST like Twilight or True Blood or the Vampire Diaries (nope hated ALL of them), I like gaming.. well… since it’s not WoW or some first person shooter then I’m not a gamer (ignoring the fact that I was born when the gaming industry collapsed and was raised on Nintendo), I like comics? Well I must know about this random obscure comic book hero (we all remember the Marvel writer who was accused of not being a comic book fan by an incel and he mentioned Squirrel Girl. A character that some comic book fans know of and many know she WAS a… joke character. At least that’s what it felt like to me when they first introduced her), people suck.

[@blujaebird]

This happened to me when I was wearing a Dragon Ball Z shirt! Some guy stopped me on the way home from the store and asked me to name all the characters. It took me a few moments to realize he was quizzing me.

[@kmekosnk840]

I ask everyone who plays video games whats their favorite game lmao

[@destinedtogame]

​@@kmekosnk840that's different. Don't be daft

[@kmekosnk840]

@@destinedtogame its the same

[@beeziebubs2756]

Story 3: Judging by OP’s attitude and the fact that he only made it as far as O-3 (which is automatically given to you with time, if I’m not mistaken), I get the express feeling that he wasn’t the type of person who garnered a whole lot of respect within, above, or below his ranks. As a matter of fact, with the way he’s acting, I get the sneaking suspicion that he’s overcompensating for something about his service.

[@beeziebubs2756]

@Nam Chansawang More like he expects everyone who’s ever served to have the same demeanor as a jarhead even though the person he’s talking to is from an entirely different branch of the military (and was likely a higher ranking officer than he was).

[@flibbernodgets7018]

​@Nam Chansawang or that every branch is like the Marines.

[@emiliaamaral1395]

I was thinking that too. Unless he was prior enlisted, then CPT just happened after time. He's one of those officers that think everyone is beneath them if they aren't their rank. Gross.

[@beeziebubs2756]

@@emiliaamaral1395 On top of that, I don’t think his career was as boisterous as his attitude. I had an old jarhead friend tell me this once: the more someone brags about their service, the less they actually did. From my experience, this is often true.

[@emiliaamaral1395]

@@beeziebubs2756 exactly.

[@HerRoyalGayness]

Story 3: As far as I could tell based on his wording, this guy didn’t even APOLOGIZE for assuming she lied about her military service. He says he tried acting chummy toward her, but doesn’t say anything about actually apologizing for accusing her like that! Absolutely YTA

[@Mewse1203]

Nope, no apology. He just "tried to be chummy to make up for it" like a regular ass hat.

[@addicted2mako]

“be chummy” is a weird way to spell ‘sweep it under the rug’ X3

[@allreddan]

Guy was a prime example of why marines are called "Crayon eaters."

[@ajjamsen694]

He even went out of his way to tell other people to not trust her because he "very thoroughly and researched " her background aka asked a few questions to J. 🤡

[@elsorzis5692]

And he even said he would not work with a liar, then complains when she mocks him. No sympathy for the guy at all.

[@itsmeezee3818]

Rslash you were right about the birthday party story. When my dad was a single father, he didn't have much. So for my 8th birthday he bought some really cheap balloons and made me a huge pan of my favorite food...Kraft Mac and cheese, I didn't even have a cake the Mac and cheese served both purposes, food and cake. And guess what? I still remember that birthday now and I'm 17 and I have this appreciation for my father trying to give me all he could and that's why that birthday is so memorable. I loved that birthday party. I ate so much Mac and cheese that day. My point is the parents can throw a birthday party when things are a little tight. My father and I were on the edge of homelessness and he still managed to throw a birthday party for me.

[@alexskywalker5478]

I'm so glad you have such an amazing memory from you father :) ❤️

[@mozzapple]

Third story: OP is super arrogant, and I smell sexism. He treated J like she was a child making up a story, not a grown woman who could be telling the truth and just have trauma from the experience (very common among those in the military). He then tried to brush it off and didn't even apologize when he learned how wrong he was... jesus christ this guy is the A-hole

[@nicholassykes128]

One of my higher ups put it best. “ if you act like a hard ass when you don’t have to you’re just showing insecurity.” Active military and veterans don’t have to act a certain way.

[@Snailman3516]

In the birthday story, I was terrified that they would do something to ruin what I imagine was an amazing and special cake. They were an asshole, but I'm glad they didn't cross the line into ruining a kid's birthday cake.

[@kisstune]

Yup. I wonder what happens when these kids go to different schools and have different friends circle.

[@silverflight01]

Story 2: Common sense? SIL, your financial struggles are not OP's problem. You might not be able to throw a great birthday party because of your situation, but you can't expect OP to do it for you either. And yeah, if OP doesn't want to do shared birthdays anymore, OP can't be forced

[@SirMandokarla]

The crazy thing here to me is that the SIL is making the huge fuss, what's the brother doing during it all?

[@Crow_Smith]

I have NEVER gotten the "I offhandedly mentioned money was tight and figured you'd step up" -- the smarter way to do that is say that, and then pull your SIL [the op in this case] aside and be like "Hey money is tight, and it'd suck for [niece] to not have a bday party this year - would you might including her on the cake?" or something. You don't get to be mad that you didn't inform someone of what you wanted. Lots of people hate to assume. And especially if you're always the type to ask for help if you want it, they'll assume since you didn't ask, you don't want help you were just making conversation. Or SOMETHING. I just never never never get why people "Drop hints" - especially if it's just once off handedly - and get mad that no one picked up on it. "Oh since I said I can't afford this I expected you to fix that for me" - did you ask? No. OP was right to say "And when were you going to tell me this?" which ALMOST sounds like had SIL asked, she MIGHT have done something to include her Niece.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

The craziest thing is imho, she doesn't only expect "shared" birthdays - she expects OPs daughter to take the back seat EVEN THO OP is paying, and her daughter's girly-girlish wishes being catered to. Like if they were similar it'd be less of a problem, but geez she even expects op to put sils daughter over her own?!

[@Nekulturny]

Why would OP think her bf was joking? She put her grubby hands all over half a pizza and ruined it. You only been dating a month, you ain't been together long enough to overlook each other's "germs".

[@Arkryal]

Personally, I value the love of a good woman over a half a pizza. Now had it been a whole pizza, she'd be out the door, lol.

[@Nekulturny]

@@Arkryal I guess, personally, I'm gay, so I wouldn't know. Although, I would argue a "good woman" wouldn't impose herself that fast in a relationship, its only a month man, and shes way too comfortable with her less flattering habits. I went on a blind date with a guy once years ago, just meeting him first time, he thought it would be funny to fart in my car like it was a joke, he probably doesn't know it, but that was entirely the reason I didn't call him for a 2nd date. You don't know me that well yet dude.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

It's not about germs, the pizza is ruined without the toppings. Your point of view is so weird to me, you can be dating someone, having sex with them, exchanging all kind of bodily fluids, even putting their genitals in your mouth but their hands disgust you?

[@jofip9199]

Idk I don’t think it’s thaaat big of a deal. I would be like wtf but not to the point of being so angry

[@ScorpiusZA.]

@@jofip9199 It's a respect thing, or a lack thereof. Why pick the toppings off when someone else is going to be left the base. If you're still hungry - have a slice. And after a month, you don't know someone well enough to do that personally. I would be very irritated also.

[@danielbrant6740]

The term that Dabney was looking for in the 3rd Story to describe OP's actions was "gatekeeping." I think this was the first instance of gatekeeping that was relevant to the military that I heard about (I know there are plenty of sports & gaming examples are out there.)

[@lissaw4]

The military has *_TONS_* of gatekeeping. It's pretty outrageous, to be honest.

[@LilDevyl17]

@@lissaw4 And not unheard of and is very Sexist and Biggoted to a lot of people.

[@LouPlht]

Story 2: my dad was born in the day of his brother’s birthday, sharing a birthday RUINED his childhood, being constantly left out, he rarely got any presents and now, 62 years old, he STILL doesn’t get any attention in his birthday, shared birthdays are terrible, shared birthday party’s are just as terrible, op’s niece deserves her own birthday party, even if it’s just a simple cake with a few friends at home.

[@BelleDreamer7]

Story 4: Oh my God, I cannot imagine how anyone got to the “Let’s have our parents meet” stage WITHOUT knowing one set was a same sex couple. Like. I have so many questions and I feel RSlash went straight to the “OP’s girlfriend is clearly homophobic” maybe or maybe she realized she had to protect her boyfriend and his family from HER homophobic family. Like. It is 2023 but let’s not pretend that there are not countries on this planet declaring that they don’t HAVE homosexuals. Because there are, but beside that, I still cannot fathom how they skipped MEETING each other’s parents. Like, my most serious boyfriend and I met each other’s parents but we never had our parents meet. How did OP and his girlfriend screw that up so bad? Am I wrong?

[@Flarflenugen]

I mean, this was the meeting, so thats how she didnt know. Im kinda on the "gf is a homophobe" side cause i have friends who have gay parents. They didnt explicitly tell me and i just kinda found out. I didnt panic and ask why no one told me, cause it doesnt matter. There is no reasonable reason on this planet that the gf should freak out about op having 2 dads

[@Yendor1224]

​@@Flarflenugen there is. Imagine she isn't homophobic at all but one of her parents is an hardcore homophobe. Would you not be worried about them making a scene? Would you not freak out because you know someone will insult the parents of your bf? Seriously I think the reaction is not a reaction a homophobe would have. She didn't though an insult or something like this. She just panicked.

[@Flarflenugen]

@@Yendor1224 and i would call back or text to explain my leaving in that case, like immediately the day of. There would be 0 ounce of "and i never heard from him again". The second i got the chance i would explain. So why hasnt she?

[@pantherinae_art]

​@@Flarflenugen off topic but I haven't heard "Fred Fred Burger" in YEARS!! I used to have a livejournal user icon of him, which I think dates that reference 🤣 thanks for the nice memory ❤

[@Flarflenugen]

@@pantherinae_art ya, ive had this name since i was in middle school, and loved billy and mandy, and more specifically the character

[@Dragonmaster0118]

From the stories I've read Bob Ross was the most hard ass drill instructor there was but he didn't want to be like that anymore when he left the service.

[@CloverField83]

My girlfriend actually does the pizza thing. It's super weird, but when she's still hungry after a couple slices, she'll molest another slice or two just eating the toppings. Thing is, she only does it to her half of the leftovers. It's this basic thing called respect.

[@MLWJ1993]

Genuinely curious: what does she do with the leftover base of the pizza? 🤔

[@CloverField83]

@@MLWJ1993 throws it out

[@athf4ever780]

@@CloverField83 😭 I was jokingly gonna put that

[@k3upikachu]

​@@CloverField83 seriously??? Omg I've done that before but I just ate the rest of the pizza later. What a waste lol

[@anastasiamccarter8029]

​@@MLWJ1993 I do the same and throw out the pizza skin. I want more cheese and toppings. Not more bread and sauce.

[@GeneralArin]

Story 2: I have a lot of siblings, and we're all pretty reserved, so we only occasionally had a real party. Hanging out with family and a basic cake is like twenty bucks and you get dollar store toys or decorations. That'll go a long way and hanging out with everyone is the main point anyway

[@SailorMya]

My family is the same. We don't need much to have a good time so it is pretty awful that she wouldn't anything for her kids birthday.

[@lasmirandadennsiewillja9435]

I grew up in an average middle-class environment at a time when themed birthday parties, especially for toddlers, young kids, and pre-teens weren't a thing. I understand that they can be fun. But nobody can tell me that an eight-year-old kid wouldn't be happy if they were told they can invite five of their friends to come over, have cake and snacks, play games, and maybe have a movie afternoon/night with pizza. Or a giant pot of pasta with tomato sauce. And if that would put a strain on the budget, I also don't think that other family members wouldn't be willing to chip in a little for the kid to have a lovely time, if approached politely and respectfully. I also refuse to believe that the majority of families out there wouldn't be understanding if they were told, "Hey, you know how [partner] lost his job/the business shut down/medical expenses bled us dry, we're sorry, our budget is tight this year and we decided to not host a big family gathering so [child] can at least have a small party with her best friends to celebrate her birthday." If family really cares about the birthday child, they'll show up or call or invite her out anyway, even if they aren't paid for their care with a get-together organised by the kid's parents. I might be biased, though, since a kid's birthday usually wasn't a big family event when I grew up. Sure, extended family that lived close by might show up for a couple of minutes for a casual visit but usually, it was a call, a card, and a gift. Otherwise, it was a small celebration with the parents and maybe grandparents if they lived close by on the actual birthday and the real celebration us kids looked forward to was the party with our friends on a Saturday when the bestie definitely had time to come (my birthday is in the middle of summer, vacation season, I don't remember ever having the "official" party that counted before mid-August lol).

[@skylazer4065]

Story 4: It could also have been that the girl didn't mind much that OP's parents are gay, but that she has very conservative parents, and that day was a day where both parents would meet one another. Maybe she left to avoid drama with her parents?

[@goyangi4143]

yeah

[@pianobooks42]

The last story made me feel both sad and happy as a woman in a lesbian relationship. I would love for my future kids to think so little of our sexuality that they can simply forget to tell someone. That makes me think that OP was raised not only in love but also acceptance. And that he’s faced little in ways of issues prior to this. But of course, I don’t want my sexuality to ever affect my children. Whether it’s frequently or just once, I don’t want it at all. I’ll definitely be sure to have conversations about this with my children as they grow. Hopefully we can mitigate these types of surprise homophobes.

[@lulufortytwo3884]

Yeah, feels like OP is lucky and a touch naive. It could be the gf doesn't care but her parents do and could see the disaster waiting to happen and decided that immediately leaving was the best option

[@frosty-qj4bf]

Cmon he didn't forget to tell her. He chose to surprise her. He should have enough sense to have her meet his parents atleast once before she brings her parents over

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

​@@frosty-qj4bf while i do agree with the last part i don't think i have to explain anyone's sexuality to another person unless it's relevant. OP probably is just used to his parents that he didn't need to explain, just like how i don't have to explain that my parents are straight unless I'm mentioning one of them in conversation.

[@shadenox8164]

@@frosty-qj4bf Do you tell people your parents' are straight? No you don't think to. Come the fuck on with this nonsense.

[@Jonathan-ic9ef]

For the last story, I'm more weirded out by the fact that this guy got close enough with this girl to meet her parents but at no point did the two of them ever talk about their families. Whenever I'm getting to know a prospective romantic partner, family is one of the first things that I bring up.

[@twistysunshine]

He said "a girl my age", I think he might be really young and this is his first date of any kind. I agree I usually talk about my home life really early, but I think they're both probably really new at this

[@zacravey8823]

​@@twistysunshine I was actually about to say roughly the same thing. Especially if they're late bloomers like me and my first gf were, we didn't really talk about much besides shared interests and where and when we could passionately hug next. Heck, I didn't even know her last name for the first two months we dated - it never came up. We were *much* more interested in each other than we were in talking about or meeting each other's parents. 😂

[@dbear7717]

@@twistysunshine the post says he's 25, still might be his first relationship but old enough to talk about these things prior.

[@NicholeParker]

I think the dad and pops thing could’ve tripped her up. I’ve only heard pops used for grandpa, not dad. So I’m sure he says “dad and pops” and she’s thinking “aww he’s close to his grandparents, how sweet!”

[@noinfo5630]

For sure he's not the smartest for keeping it in the closet so to speak. We don't know about the gf's motivation but maybe her parents are holier-than-thou bigots and she just tried to avoid an even bigger scene?

[@TherealbigO1]

In the stolen valor story, Jade was calling OP a pencil pushing marine. Considering the reputation of the Marine Core, OP just got called a punk.

[@niagargoyle]

From the context, I was going to guess that it meant something along the lines of “wannabe” or some variation of “you are not worth my time.” Her response is quite fitting. He accused her of stolen valor, and she retorted by telling him that he might have been in the military, but he didn’t earn any valor. R Slash often commends people for returning the same energy that was given them.

[@badsaturnz23]

​@@niagargoyle Here's the thing tho, if you're gonna mention you did something then not give any details to someone who also did that thing, yeah it's your right to not give any details but you also can't get all shocked and hurt when the person doesn't believe you. For example, back in high school I did football. And I graduated not too long ago. If I met some guy my age who also said he played football in my area but couldn't name the school, couldn't name a position he played, or even what was his team called then I would not believe him either. OP finding out from someone else that is true that she was in the military is indeed an "Oops" moment

[@stevennelson8479]

​@@badsaturnz23 yeah.. no. Just stop before you embarrass yourself further

[@badsaturnz23]

@@stevennelson8479 How am I embarrassing myself? It's just true.

[@j.c.2240]

@Angel Renteria You're pretending that the reason this guy was doubtful was because of a lack of detail, even though he was clearly doubtful from the start due to her being a shy, quiet woman.

[@aceospades6570]

The first story reminds me of another story rSlash covered on AITA where OP's girlfriend took the first bite off the former's meal every time. It all came to an end though when OP made a bunch of mini (cakes?) and the girlfriend went and took a bite off the top of EVERY ONE OF THEM. Maybe it's the same girlfriend; and she's found another victim

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

If that's the case, then yikes...

[@ukchanak]

Yeah and weren't they for a client as well? I remember one where the guy was a baker and she kept sticking her fingers into the customer's mousse and pies

[@princessbeaniewiggle]

It's worse than that, he made one cake and she took a bite out of every slice.

[@condorboss3339]

Military story: I had a friend who was a Victoria Cross winner. He absolutely would not talk about it. If you pressed him on it, he would either leave or throw you out of his house. (For US readers, the Victoria Cross is equivalent to the Medal of Honor for British and Commonwealth servicemen.)

[@michalhanna4374]

Story 3: I’m very glad that OP pointed out that it’s a problem in the gaming community, but I will say that being “tested” like this is rampant in any male dominated field and interest. I’ve had a few of these kinds of conversations myself and they are annoying.

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, YTA: This is unhinged behavior. Who does this psychotic act? Like this is a first for me Comment: I agree Second Story, NTA: I’m sick of people thinking they are entitled to someone else's stuff (in this case the birthday celebration costs) because "they are family". Being family doesn’t make u entitled to anything. SIL being broke is not OP's problem Third Story, YTA: Just becaus OP wants to share details about his time in the Navy doesn’t mean everyone else has to. OP's entire personality is just based on him being in the Navy. Refusing to tell information about how u served doesn’t warrant such a disgusting accusation. Also, way to go to OP for being judgemental, claiming J doesn’t have enough "bravado" to be in the military? Lmao what a joke. Wooow to further spit in her face instead of apologizing for his false accusation, OP tried to be chummy and pretend that what he did didn’t happen Fourth Story, NTA: OP needs to leave Bella. The disrespect and blatant homophobia is insane. First off, like OP said she is dating OP not his dads so why should that be automatic default information OP has to tell?

[@alexvalentine5091]

A commentator also mentioned that a lot of military women are “assaulted” during their time, and might be another reason why J wouldn’t want to talk

[@iEmnerz]

The first story is something you would do for a fussy kid who suddenly wants cheese pizza, but doing that to the entire pizza leftovers without checking if ops bf wanted some saved? unhinged

[@kenohara1]

First story not only did they defile the pizza but they also ordered hawaiian

[@leohunter801]

​@@iEmnerz i did that once, was given shit for it and havent done it since, btw i did that when i was either 14 or 15, it was a long time ago so i forget exactly what age i was

[@fool4343]

(4 story) not sure that this reaction is enough of a reason to leave after a talk if she really is homophobic then yeah youre right but maybe its her parents that are homophobic

[@SgtRageface]

I was a single father for 3-4 years to two kids. Their birthdays are super close (less than a month apart). Every year during that time I was able to scrape up some cash to always get them one present and a birthday dinner (thankfully I had family members to help get them a cake). It doesn't matter how tight money is. You can ALWAYS do something good for your kids birthday.

[@Mewse1203]

Exactly! We've had some lean times in the last 10 years, but we ALWAYS scraped together a present, a cake, and a party. Thry are poor excuses for parents IMO

[@fdm2155]

This is so true. We almost never had anything fancy when I was a kid. I have a summer birthday. I'd be thrilled to have a family BBQ and a cake. Basically, folding the birthday celebration into a typical family event. The problem here is the that SIL has champagne tastes and a beer pocketbook as my mother used to say! She doesn't want a family potluck, a cake and a few gifts. She wants a fancy party at somebody else's expense.

[@totallyspyratical]

I have a large extended family, so birthdays always wind up close to each other. What we did growing up is that each kid had their own celebration with their parents (party or whatever) and then if a bunch of birthdays were close, we'd do a massive birthday dinner for everyone to get stuff from the extended family. It also helps because then, as kids outgrow parties, they can get 2 birthday dinners if they play things right! Plus the bill remains on the parents no matter what, so no entitlement.

[@AltonV]

In my family 2 of my siblings and my dad have birthdays in the same month and me, one other sibling and mom have birthdays in another. Internally we had separate birthdays but for the rest of the relatives we had one day for each month were we invited them

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Absolutely! Being poor sucks and i absolutely get being frustrated when you see what your SIL can afford that you cant - but the kids are eight! Its about being the important "birthday girl", celebrating with friends and or family, maybe some fun food. Some cake mix sheet cake is fine, just having some fun and feeling loved, that's the point. Way more than how much the party costs.

[@kriet7745]

Well that guy not only deserves a 3/5 Bad Guys, but he also deserves a 5/5 Poolies.

[@Sevencatsinatrenchcoat]

Lmao yes

[@crystalcrusader711]

That last story, I’m getting the feeling that it’s her PARENTS that are the homophobes. Perhaps it’s just the way that RSlash read her lines, but I’ve got the feeling that she’s fine with it, but her parents aren’t, and she hastily left with them before they could see. At least from what’s written, I don’t believe the parents met each other. What I’m saying is OP really needs to talk her. I’m guessing there’s something more here.

[@cj12120]

10:35 Bro, I just got insane chills just hearing O-8. He messed up big time.

[@sapfixxyt]

You should make a compilation of all the r/AITA stories where you gave someone the 5/5 bad guys score

[@Feralcottagecore]

We did exactly that growing up. Box cake, public park, bring food, and some brought dollar store presents. The fun was being wild and outside together.

[@Mewse1203]

Exactly! There is zero reason they can't give her a party.

[@Feralcottagecore]

@@Mewse1203 poor kid was drawing her cake in the dirt, blowing out dust candles by fire light lol

[@starbrite526]

True. We even did it for my niece where we did a box cake, cookout and her mom ( a single parent) rented a bouncy house because she found a Groupon and was able to rent one for 5 hours. The fact that the SIL put that burden on others in unwarranted.

[@Vi0letR0gue]

Fun fact: the guy that voiced young Bambi, joined the military Also, some ppl from the military by law can't talk about places they served or operations they've done because they are CLASSIFIED, would that guy have reacted the same way if this was the case

[@Frostfern94]

it makes sense since Bambi was released around WW2, but production started before then

[@Derpyderp34567]

In the third story, Op should have apologized right in the beginning. Yes, the classmate can still tell him to pound sand. As he is still the YTA. But she deserved an proper apology

[@Rutanachan]

Regarding the last story, I used a platform on the internet to get some real life pen pals, because I'm old-fashioned like this. The first letter of introduction ALWAYS included "I'm non-binary and pansexual." Not because I'm from the "gay agenda" or some bs like that, but because I wanted to set this out right away and seed out every homophobe and transphobe right away. I have no interest in forming a friendship only to then have it fall away because of who I am. Worked great, too. Seeded out a lot of people too, who never bothered to reply - which is sad, but also saves me money on stamps. So yeah, this is something I would bring up very early, just to save the time and emotional investment into a relationship.

[@Erebus04]

Story 3: While I do understand that Stolen Valor is an actual probably these days I think you should do actually research or something and not just ask some basic questions before accusing someone of committing it and the fact that instead of apologizing he just tried to "Act chummy with her" OP YTA

[@anndownsouth5070]

Stolen Valor, as far as I know, is if someone pretends to have served but never really did. Basically, they steal the honor given to those who serve/served in the military.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Story 4: as a bi person, I bet it's her parents that are homophobic but she's been trying to appease them to "keep the peace" and now she finds out her bfs parents are a same sex couple and now she can't appease her parents anymore. She has to figure it out, OP or her parents.

[@dinlupus3196]

i think on that too, it was weird that she take her parents out, if they aren't homophobic then is no reason to leave, i seen homophobic persons pretend to be ok with it because others just accepted it normally , so it's feels more like the parents are the homophobes; i still can be wrong and i wish to see an update of this one

[@superphantom100]

@@dinlupus3196 yeah I agree, her reaction didn’t seem of disgust, and more of Panic like (oh shit I can’t let’s them know and I got to get them out of here). I don’t think she is necessarily homophobic but I’m almost certain her parents are.

[@jupitercoyote348]

Yeah I thought that too

[@HobieInTheBox]

@@superphantom100 she is still complicit in a way, we don't have an update but she at least should explain to OP the situation

[@clairebubbletea7973]

Since her parents were the ones who brought up meeting, it feels like they're probably fairly traditional. Before I cut off my dad, there would be a time id absolutely flip out of my partners parents were gay and I only found out right before my terrible dad walks in. Because there's gonna be trouble at the dinner, and likely, trouble at home for WEEKS after. Bad situation all around.

[@thetruth1816]

Story 1 : YTA.. is op 5 in an adult body ??.. Story 2 : NTA.. the sin in law version of "shared " is the 2 kids can't develop their own identity and op pays for everything which is honestly super unfair and ridiculous to op and op family.. Right when the kitchen conversation started op should've told the sin in law to either shut her mouth or leave now.. Story 3 : YTA.. Even if you think another person is lying who the frick are you to say that bleep out loud.. not everyone is gonna want to talk about the time they had to do things they really didn't want.. Story 4 : NTA.. bella sucks op.. op has not obligation to share any info about his parents with anyone... bella was proven to be a terrible person.. The more you know. .

[@Vordun]

In the 4th story I would need more info in my opinion whether the girl is TA or NTA. I'm playing the devil's advocate here, but she might not have any issues with having 2 dads and might not be a homophobe, and might have just prevented her parents who are raging homophobes from making a scene, in hope of preserving her relationship with OP. And imo OP should have mentioned it(so it wouldn't be a surprise for the other party) but for a normal person it should have not mattered at all whether OP has 2 dads. I agree with op being NTA though.

[@davido.1233]

"Bella Sucks OP" - Title of her sex tape.

[@Zarlos01]

​@TheUltimateSin I agree, I think that leaving that way is better than Bella's parents making a huge scene, and depending on how homophobic her parents are, could escalate the situation

[@thetruth1816]

@TheUltimateSin I hope that's it and that's her explanation that would make me change my mind on bella.. until then she sucks..

[@dutchvanderbilt9969]

​@@Vordun I like the way you think

[@Poisionfang]

For the kids' birthday party, I'd like to add that the EP didn't just expect her daughter to get added to the b-day celebration, she expected OP to assume the role w/o being told, even tho OP previously set clear boundaries about separating the girls b-days. EP didn't even care about the b-day, she just didn't want to lose her ATM

[@Second_of_four]

9:22 I love when you can actually hear RSLASH decide that someone is the AH 😂

[@starkidforever15]

eating only the toppings off the remaining half of the pizza is what i like to call “taking your half out of the middle”

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Plenty of people eat the toppings off pizza,lol. I personally dislike the crust, I don't enjoy the taste or texture of most pizza crust, but I only eat the toppings off pizza that is mine, or my half of it, or if I paid for it. People freaking out about it and calling her a freak, or 5 years old, are the ones acting childish...she offered to get him another pizza. He needs to grow up and realize different people eat differently, and that it OKAY, and the world doesn't end if someone eats different than you,lol.

[@horseluver4ever623]

​@@rachelwitherspoon4394Eating the toppings off of a shared pizza makes you an asshole. You want to do that, get your own pizza.

[@nicolethetford3095]

@@rachelwitherspoon4394 I like to take a COUPLE toppings but not literally EVERY SINGLE TOPPING. Just eat another slice??

[@fdm2155]

@@rachelwitherspoon4394 Um, no. Plenty of people DO NOT take the toppings off a shared pizza. Obviously you can eat the toppings off your own pizza. That's not what happened here. Instead of taking half the left overs and doing whatever she wanted with it. She ruined her share and his. And then when he didn't like it... she acted like he was the one with the problem. That would be so annoying.

[@phnerfable]

@@rachelwitherspoon4394 there’s a difference between “eating differently” and just being weird and gross 🙄

[@loonywolf_art]

Military story: I am in the military, and some roles are so protected that people can't even be in background post on social media, I am working in the graphic department, so I got it easy Edit: forgot to add the point: my point was that it is possible she can't tell about her role

[@Mewse1203]

Based on her rec from a high up rear admiral, that is a good possibility. How many people even KNOW their rear admiral personally, let alone well enough to get a recommendation from them.

[@spectrelead]

Exactly. When a 2-star writes your recommend, you made a good impression. Also, I'm a veteran AND a VBA claims processor. There are things we can't legally discuss, things we don't want to remember, and some have Military S**ual Trauma that is about the darkest cause of PTSD I can imagine

[@EclipsePheniox]

The last story I agree with Rslash. While being gay and gay couples aren't new or unusual, there are still plenty of homophobes and people who think it's weird out there. So it would have been good to mention it so the partner doesn't get thrown for a loop.

[@GamerSapss]

And this is me assuming, but there is also the possibility that her parents are Homophobes, and knew that this was the least "harmful" way to prevent a situation. But it's just as likely that she has the same mentality

[@EclipsePheniox]

@@GamerSapss Yeah. While we cannot determine if she was, her actions don't paint her in a good light.

[@suitov]

I, like OP, would probably assume my date was a basically decent human being. But when their parents entered the picture, I think I'd likely sound my date out on whether or not they're cool, purely because of the generation gap issue. Not because I think the guests need 'warning', but because I'm not cool with homophobes in my family home. (I'm just not comfortable with it. They can be homophobes behind closed doors, but when they shove it in everyone's faces, I'm just not ok with that. The children might see and then I'd have to explain it to them. etc) ;)

[@XCMasako]

​@@GamerSapss yeah! That!

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

@@GamerSapss I would 100% assume it was her parents... I mean, it's possible she's homophobic too, but the most likely scenario is that it's her parents, and she knew there was no way the dinner could possible have ended well. Source? Boomers are just a different sort of people, they overshare to the point of absurdity, they seem to lack all empathy and a basic ability to even humor looking at things from other perspectives, and they always seem to be racist and/or homophobic. -Millennials have their own stereotypes, we're usually better on progressiveness, and worse on adulting.-

[@rebekahguidry7090]

First story: yeah I guess eating all the toppings off kinda sucks but she literally offered to buy another pizza!! And he said that wasn't the point or problem. So I'd only give .2/5 bad guys.

[@MisaKeiJune]

SA in the armed forces is always "Classified" ..... and the victims pretty much always *NEVER* get true justice ... my heart goes out to the veteran who was wrongfully accused, especially after serving and probably being forced to sacrifice far beyond her duties as a soilder....

[@TheOppaiKami]

I saw an Instagram comic similar to the pizza story yesterday. Basically, the exact same thing happened, but with the last 2 slices of pizza, but because it was her pizza to begin with (her husband just wanted the last two slices because she was full) she said she's gonna save them for later and he was as fine with her doing that. She then later ate the toppings off the pizza, THEN ate the pizza (weird way to eat pizza but ok). OP, on the other hand, not only was it a SHARED pizza, not only did she NOT ask if he wanted any more, SHE DIDN'T EVEN FINISH THE PIZZA!!! They've only been dating a month, and the bf already knows he made a terrible mistake. If OP keeps this up, she's gonna be single again real quick, maybe forever.

[@swellsauceFourNumbers]

You know you’re the bad guy when Rslash compares you to ERIC CARTMAN of all people.

[@jiogcyihsugyiocjfdoivhphvw6821]

wrong. hes not a person, drunkard

[@lorilancaster5917]

I completely missed that reference since the story triggered me to where I skipped it. Very good reference indeed

[@beautifulmidnight]

I was just writing the comment making the same comparison when Dabney said it. Considering that the other boys let Cartman believe he was dead, I’d say that OP’s boyfriend reacted less harshly.

[@ajjamsen694]

I can still hear Kenny's cries after they saw what Cartman had done 😆

[@dunbrine47]

5/5 Badguys. "Screw you guys. Imma going home"

[@ScorpiusZA.]

Story 3: Not wanting to share your service history is a personal thing. I am not military, nor would I have any interest in it. But even I know enough than to do what OP did or to push for details when someone doesn't want to say anything,

[@suitov]

Absolutely agree. PTSD is a thing; you'd think any vet would have basic decency around potential bad memories. Plus, the person is described as a soft-spoken woman, and I would feel rude asking someone introverted like that a ton of questions. I bet OP was aggressive in his questioning. She could probably tell he was doubting her, and few introverts want to talk to someone who's implicitly calling us liars.

[@100MilesEast]

Also, at least some things might be a secret (e.g. where you have been deployed or what you did).

[@Shimonotoki]

I totally get your point and I agree. But what I don't get is why bring it up in the first place? Why is she mentioning it, if she doesn't want to talk about it?

[@suitov]

@@Shimonotoki It might have something to do with his reaction, which he described as instantly suspicious. I bet it showed. To a shy person (source: me), it's instantly discouraging when someone looks like they don't believe you.

[@fdm2155]

Yeah, OP was an idiot for not realizing J knew exactly what he was up to and THAT'S why she shut down.

[@merlinstorm390]

Story 3: As a former member of the armed services who doesn’t like talking about my time in the service, there is no bravado needed to join, no bluster or arrogance, just a level of respect for what you fight for. Clearly the Marine is just trying to tout how good he is and even tries to phrase the story as such, but nobody needs to talk about anything they don’t want to

[@Maltodextreen]

As someone who grew up having shared birthdays for awhile with my cousin because we have the same birthday, I wonder how the 2 girls felt about it to, because even though my cousin and I had EXTREMELY similar interests, we still always preferred having separate parties, even if they weren't as big, because there's just something about having a solo party compared to a shared one that feels better as a kid because people talk about your birthday being all about YOU, and a shared party kinda diminishes that. And I can only imagine how much more you feel that when you don't even have the same interests.

[@shlibbs]

The shared birthday story: my sister and I have our birthdays 13 days apart. We used to share birthdays up until I turned 6 or 7. My parents didn't have a lot of money growing up but both of us got parties every year if we wanted one. They were usually slumber parties or just having friends over for pizza and a movie. It's not always the content of the party that matters but the fact that people gathered to celebrate you.

[@Mewse1203]

Exactly!

[@shanhoyle]

My brother is in the Navy and he was accused of false valor. I’m in the Air Force and I’ve gotten the million questions of what I do and stuff like that. If she got a letter from an O-8, that’s huge. Dude needs to wake up

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 2: she knew you would say no so she tried to gilt you, and when that didn't work she got mad and now either wants you to feel bad for next year or wants you to Make it up now by throwing a last-minute party. Regardless it's not your fault you didn't read her guilt trip hints, and since she's not your child you don't owe her a party. This is another case of your money is my money because you have more than me, locker number until she learned to be an adult.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Plus if they do have money issues and have been informed in advance that joint birthdays will not continue, they could plan and budget

[@fdm2155]

So weird that the SIL thinks she's entitled to horn in on another kid's party so she can save a few bucks.

[@kawliga9890]

In the 4th story I find it kinda hard to believe the two got to the "meet the parents" stage without ever talking about their families even in just minor conversations. OP still isn't the AH just crazy tbh

[@shadenox8164]

I mean its possible he mentioned dad and pops and she just assumed father and grandfather.

[@kawliga9890]

@shadenox8164 sure but other conversations should have given something away

[@Sophie-dd5xr]

Story 3: honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if she were physically or sexually assaulted during her time in the military and doesn’t want to talk about it. The fact that that doesn’t come to mind for guys, even r/slash, shows male privilege. When I hear of a woman that clams up after being asked about a specific portion of her life, the first thought I have is always assault. For all the women out there, stay safe! You don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to. (My heart also goes out to men who have been assaulted. It’s just not the focus of this particular story.)

[@GBunnyG]

Birthday party: I have been poor for my entire life. Not once has any child in my life not had a birthday party. Public parks, family effort, dollar tree decorations and stuff found on sale through the year. Those parents are the woooooooorst.

[@Mewse1203]

Exactly! There is zero excuse for no effort.

[@SteviiLove]

Story 3 would be like me calling my sister a fraud because she never wanted to talk about dealing with dead bodies while being a forensic scientist. Sometimes, people just don't want to talk because they don't want to relive whatever - just respect it. It's not hard.

[@kalimaxine]

My father in law was in the Marines. There is no way that you would know if you just met him. He is just kind of a fluffy, nice, soft kind of person. Also, my dad was in the military as well and he was also just the most soft spoken person ever.

[@Some_Guy6]

You know. Those often screaming : STOLEN VALOR! Do not know what stolen valour truly means. They often where never in the military themselves. Also, body type does not mean anything. I am shy and inroverted, and i don't seem to have the body type, but people would be suprised at what i did and stuff. EDIT : There's no such thing as "French" fries. The Belgians invented that. And here's another fun fact! = They expected so many casuality's during world war 2 they made a LOT of purple hearts. So much so, they stopped making them (officially) after world war 2. So every purple heart medal someone "earns" in military duty is from the world war 2 era.

[@austinclements8010]

for story 3 i met a female veteran of the afghanistan war, she was a pilot. she told me about the visceral and frankly really fucked up shit she had to go through. i honestly dont blame anyone; male or female about not wanting to relive the time they killed someone or had to do something deplorable to survive out there

[@voidgalaxy3605]

Third story(military story): the op mentions how the person confronted claimed it wasn’t a “good time” for them when they were in the military, given that and the fact they’re introverted I wouldn’t be surprised if they were assaulted. Too often, even in the “outside world” you see people who don’t report SA out of fear, fear of retribution or being afraid that they won’t be believed. In the military it’s significantly worse. Its seen as “weak” to be assaulted, to have not fought back, so I fully believe the lady who was introverted and didn’t wanna talk about her time in the military was harassed, hazed, assaulted or something. I don’t think she just didn’t enjoy the time I think something may have happened and that OP may have triggered memories by claiming she wasn’t or couldn’t have been in the military.

[@michaelschmidt4199]

I would agree. Her initial reaction would seem to indicate that she overall enjoyed her military service, but then his prying into details probably brought up thoughts of bad events that happened to her.

[@alvarodebarrio7718]

Story 2: nta SIL tried to undecut op but their strategy was made by Ferrari and OP was driving a Red Bull

[@gilded_lady]

😂😂 SIL got that 5 second penalty.

[@ismae-rienne4991]

Money was ALWAYS tight when I was growing up. Here's what I had for birthday parties: family and close friends only, at the house, and potluck. Mom baked a box cake and tried her best at decorating. It was fun!!!!!!! That's what the SIL should do.

[@lightaflamethrower8573]

Story 3: What if some of the stuff she did was highly classified? Then she couldn’t talk about it anyway, right?

[@flibbernodgets7018]

In that case it would be weird for her to respond so enthusiastically as the post implied, like if you can't talk about it why make it seem interesting? Not saying he's in the right, just something to think about if you're ever in the same situation and want to avoid talking about stuff you don't want to or can't.

[@luluperez8587]

On the birthday party story My mom was a single mom who raised 3 kids and I know she broke as hell but she try her best to give me and my siblings birthdays no matter what that mom should be ashamed of herself. I don’t think she should be even called mom NTA

[@KiraTheKhanivore]

As a gamer girl I can relate what Rslash compared the military girl. I also get sent back to the kitchen more than I can count

[@CallMeMassie]

Dude same, I’m on a collegiate esports team and randos still make comments towards me sometimes lmao

[@suitov]

Big sympathies to you both. They can't even make good jokes, can they? It's all the tired old "herp derp no gurls on the internet bewbs housework lel".

[@SwirlyPinwheel]

I heard the title and immediately thought, "Oh YoU lIke CoMiC bOoKs, WeLl ThEn, NAME EVERY COMIC BOOK ARTIST EVER." You can smell the misogyny without even hitting the story.

[@vernonharden]

This "old man" (sixty five), and I've met some girl gamers who'd wipe the all the floors in a mansion, with many male gamers who "thinks" that they're the best. Which in many cases many are using false braggadocio. Keep rocking it.

[@anndownsouth5070]

The first story reminds me of the girl who fed half of the leftover roast to her dog without asking her boyfriend.

[@lordblink7962]

In military talk O-8 is their pay grade associated with rank. I was in the Army so I'll use that as an example. A Staff Sergeant is an E-6 (E for enlisted) while an O-4 is a Major (O for officer) and then we also have Warrent officer 1 through 5, so for example a Chief Warrant Officer 5 would be a W-5

[@alisongeorge3089]

Story 2: NTA. My mom always had shared birthdays between my sister and I. We always agreed because we both loved mini-golf. We each got a cupcake on our own birthdays because "everyone deserves cake on their birthday." As soon as we got old enough to not have parties, she would make sure each of us got an individual celebration at home. She always had us in mind, and made sure we had both of our friends there

[@ArtifactSkyline]

This episode is full of posts that show a person's true nature. The first OP did their SO a favour and played some of the quirks right out the gate. The last story OP's SO showed their true colours nice and early in the relationship. These can be great learning experiences for those of who are young and in love. Experiences like these help you see who your partner is fundamentally. Keep an eye open for things you like and thing you don't. Absolutely don't be afraid to listen to your gut.

[@meganbutton4320]

The sil for the 8yo parties is ridiculous. You can't make a box cake? Hand make decorations? Make it a craft with you and your daughter. Why does everything have to be so lavish now days? You do what you can with what you have. She's just hurting her daughter by being a selfish mom expecting others to do everything for her. He'll make it a bring a dish to pass. I just can't with some people, smh.

[@dinlupus3196]

yeah, my parents not always have money to make a party so some birthdays were just go to a park and eat ice cream and it was nice, the idea of others bring a dish and make simple decoration with what you have sounds nice as well , it's more than nothing at least, what that woman is teaching her daughter is "if you can't make something big then don't do anything at all" the kid can ended up being jealous of her cousin because lets be honest , if you can't celebrate your birthday at all while your cousin have a big party that will make anyone feel bad and resentful

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: who only eats the toping Off a pizza? You just spread your germs all over the rest of the food, and your not even sorry about it. You oh him an apology and a pizza.

[@Randombookwoorm]

Exactly! Poor guy.

[@jacobcorturillo6537]

And it’s pineapple

[@amethystfox]

But she did offer him another pizza

[@avashnea]

She DID offer him another pizza, but he's throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old.

[@kitdoesstuff_official]

Ok so my sister actually doesn't like the toppings of a pizza so I actually eat eat the toppings for her.. But you do it WITH their permission. Unruly behaviour

[@MsTemptation]

Those parents aren’t just slipping into the entitled parents category they’re on their way to becoming one of the too many CEOs of the category.

[@happyzahn8031]

bday party: A box of cake mix is only $1.50US. Some eggs, butter and flavoring for frosting is another couple of bucks. If you don't want the whole cake, make a cupcake - so simple. If thinking about mixing cake powder and water intimidates you, buy something ready made: most kids like doughnuts. Buy a couple (only $2), stack them on top of each other - instant success! Why do some people go berserker crazy when they could simply take care of their own problems so easily?

[@farawayxgalaxy]

I have had an absolutely horrible weekend. The first story with the over the top dramatics and RSlash’s pure laugh helped make me laugh too. RSlash if you’re somehow reading this, thank you for making my day end on a positive note

[@giggle_snort]

I'm sorry you've had a rough time. The silver lining is, bad days do end. Tomorrow is another day. You got this. 😊

[@BennyLlama]

The stolen valor story is so much more offensive to a veteran than you know RSlash. Not only is accusing someone of stolen valor literally calling them a liar, but it can also be a felony if they attempt to get military benefits. OP didn't just call her a liar but also a criminal. 4/5 A-holes for sure

[@fantasygurl101]

Story number 3, OP feels like the type of guy to see a girl (or femme-presenting person) at a convention "Oh, you like (insert media title here)?" and then proceeds to ask them fifty billion questions of the most obscure lore of that piece of media and call them a fake fan if they get even a single question wrong. Edit: I paused the video and posted this comment right after rSlash finished reading the actual story, not realizing that he made the comparison in his own comments

[@darthhauler9947]

Bob Ross as a drill sergeant is killing me 😅😂😂😂 BR - Don't worry, private. We'll let this accident be our happy little secret. 😅😅😂😂

[@GeoToni13]

🤣🤣🤣

[@DaniTheDeer]

As for story 4, you said "its 2023, are we still on this?" and the answer to that is a very big yes. The amount of homophobia still out there is astonishing, and you don't really see a lot of it unless you or a lot of your friends are victims of it.

[@kurokagator4567]

All my dad said about his mandatory service year was "they ruined spareribs forever for me because we always got them with sand all over 'em" and I still laugh about it XD

[@xuanzhencat]

My dad was the only one able to eat my cooking when I was learning in my young years. He said, “After the army food, I can chew and digest anything.”

[@christycable9021]

Birthday parties are a matter of priorities. As a single Mom I always prioritized my daughter's birthday, it's funny when you budget the money is available...

[@ThatoneAct]

First story: YTA. Who eats the toppings off of an entire half slice of pizza??? Also, Rslash, it's not that the boyfriend felt entitled to the entire half pie that was remaining, it was that the op ate the toppings off of that entire half. Boyfriend didn't say anything about having the entire half slice as lunch, just that he was saving it for lunch. The issue is that OP ATE ALL THE TOPPINGS

[@swingingspaceagebachelorma2498]

She offered to buy him another pizza though? Doesn't that make up for it? Genuinely confused as to why this is such a big deal.

[@tailsofchaos]

​@@swingingspaceagebachelorma2498 Something like that doesn't actually fix the problem because it's the fact that it happened. Similar to like someone eating the icing/toppings off of a cake

[@ThatoneAct]

@Swinging Space Age Bachelor Man exactly what @tailsofchaos said. Have you ever had an experience where you set up a plan for something that'd make your life easier, only to have that plan uprooted because of something someone else did? It's an emotional response of just "damn, that sucks. Wtf." And it's capable of completely ruining your day before it even starts. As outsiders looking in, it's easy to see things in it's most logical state- especially when we're not actually firsthand witnesses. But in doing so, we completely ignore and forget the emotional or mental responses that would be coming from the people in the situation. Buying another pizza wouldn't have changed the fact that the boyfriend was distressed over the unforseen roadblock to his day

[@swingingspaceagebachelorma2498]

@@ThatoneAct Thank you for putting it politely and explaining it to me! I can understand the reaction a bit better now but I still think it isn't as big of a deal as people are making it out to be, but I can see why he was so upset over it. Thanks! :D

[@CallMeVanEl]

OP: "AITA? I'm a Marine" Me: "yes without a doubt. " All jokes aside yea it's a little weird he jumped straight to accusing her of never being in the military just because she's a calm civilian. The whole bravado thing is such a Marine stereotype too 😂. Such a huge stereotype I'm about to accuse op of stolen valor rn

[@Mewse1203]

Right? He never once considered that maybe civilian life =/= military life nor did he think that maybe she was so demure now BECAUSE of her military experience. It may not be true, but it's a possibility. That's why Bob Ross was so calm. His military life influenced his gentleness in civilian life.

[@sarahserenityqueen117]

Rslash you really need to do updates for all the AITA stories because a lot of these are hard to find and there's a lot I need to know the ending on.

[@MarinaAstraAngel]

In story 3. If she doesn't want to talk about her military service doesn't mean she is lying about it. It probably means she had something traumatic happen and doesn't like thinking about it. As a person with ptsd due do to abuse and trauma an ex put me through, I personally don't like sharing all the details unless necessary (medical reasons and such) Doesn't mean it didn't happen.