r/AITA For Letting Kids Destroy a House?

[@jamesdietz29]

Regarding the babysitting story, not only did OP practice malicious compliance and did EXACTLY what Mandy asked, chances are they wont be asked to babysit again cause of what happened. A "win-win" in my book!

[@ReigoVassal]

Hope they learn something about their "no parenting" view Most likely not

[@sirennightshade4977]

Agreed. OP maybe utilized performance incompetence as well for effect, but either way it totally worked out in their favor. Not seeing a downside, especially now because Mandy would've noticed the "no discipline" rule was literally preventing her from getting any sort of help for babysitting and will have to rethink her choices. Either she'll have to start parenting for realsies, get her deadbeat husband to start parenting for realsies, or the kids will be taken by CPS. Any of the above will result in OP never having to deal with the kids' horrendous behavior again.

[@LunaP1]

Those children are feral thanks to Mandy never raising them properly.

[@arnoldfossman1701]

Babysitting is by default temporary parenting requested by the actual parents. If the actual parents don't want anyone else to parent their children then don't ask anyone to babysit.

[@salicaguillotines]

​@@ReigoVassal They wouldn't even apologize to the OP. So I doubt that the EM learned anything, but to gain even more ammo to make herself the victim. The "Woah is me" attitude disgusts me too and I don't blame their reg babysitter for bailing.

[@silverflight01]

Story 4: They tell OP, who has no experience in babysitting, to not discipline the kids and "know their place," and OP did just that, resulting in the house being destroyed. This is Malicious Compliance, intentional or accidental. Maybe they should be *ACTUAL PARENTS* this time and discipline their children so the kids aren't destructive and off-the-walls

[@giggle_snort]

Exactly. Maybe it's petty, but at the end of the day, OP was just following orders. It's not their fault the parents don't know how to parent their little shits.

[@emilymanning6011]

Babysitting story felt a little like malicious compliance

[@thunderflare59]

Mandy has a smoother brain than a starfish.

[@Thundarr100]

That’s what I was thinking too. You don’t want me to discipline your kids? Fine. You can deal with the aftermath. I used to babysit my niece and nephew all the time when I was a kid (it was my main source of income). My niece was very well behaved and could play nicely without causing problems. Her big brother though? No matter what you told him, he would do the opposite. Tell him he’s not allowed to touch something, he’d grab it the first chance he gets. Tell him not to write on the walls, he’ll find a marker and go to town. Tell him to stand still, he’d make a mad dash to get away from you. Sometimes his defiance had its own consequences. Once my mom took me and him out to dinner (this was before his sister was born). After dinner we went out to the car. I had to set him down to open the car door and get his car seat ready for him, so I told him to stay next to me. And what did he do? He ran off laughing. But then he slipped or tripped and hit his head on a stone step, and we had to go to the hospital to get his forehead stitched up. We told him not to touch his stitches, and he pulled them out later that night. To this day he has a noticeable scar on his forehead (it’s small, but noticeable). Another time he was trying to stick things into the power sockets in the wall. I kept telling him no, he would stop for a while, then go back to it when I wasn’t looking (he was supposed to be asleep, so I’d put him back to bed, then he’d get up again and continue what he was doing). He eventually got a key in far enough to get a good jolt. The only reason why it didn’t kill him was because my mom had brass plates around the power outlets, and the electricity went through the keys and into the brass plate instead of going through my nephew. It sure scared the heck out of him though. Some kids just refuse to learn not to touch the hot stove until they burn themselves. And for things that don’t have immediate consequences, like a hot stove, they’ll only learn to accept “No” for an answer if ignoring your answer results in a spanking (we’ve tried time outs and other punishments with my nephew, spankings were the only thing that really worked). OP’s sister is creating two spoiled brats that are going to be harder and harder to control as they get older. I shudder to think what they’re going to be like as teenagers.

[@dracko158]

The parents forced OP to babysit and while I appreciate the fact they still paid OP, they cannot say they are disappointed in OP because they literally FORCED OP into babysitting even though OP has no experience! In the end, they are just shooting themselves in the foot.

[@luna_theraider]

I wonder if Mandy said that to her husband too.

[@oliviajeanne7709]

@@Thundarr100 makes me wonder just what is he like now!? I mean are you SERIOUS!? Is he trying to kill himself!? Sometimes being rough with the kids is the only option. Honestly if he’s older and looking back at what he did before. He would be like “oh S***. I could’ve died” like that!?

[@sirennightshade4977]

Okay, that final story? The husband also deserves a butthole score of at least 1. He wants his wife, who was wronged, to apologize to his mother, who lied after harassing his pregnant wife??? HELL no. He should be harassing his mother to apologize to his wife for the unnecessary stress and deceit!

[@jackwilliams4691]

This is the most Reddit comment possible

[@Tustin2121]

F*ing right. OP shouldn’t have to apologize. She is the one owed the apology. And the husband just “trying to keep the peace” says more about the MIL being a narcissistic AH than anything else.

[@orbeezeater]

⁠@@Tustin2121He’s probably been raised knowing how to do nothing but placate her. However, he’s a grown man now and he needs to unpack that or he becomes a complaisant accomplice to her narcissism.

[@falador1504]

@@Tustin2121 The idea that you are somehow expected to ''keep the peace'' when being insulted like that is so fucking stupid.

[@bettawitch4606]

Agreed, R slash seems to be giving bad guy scores to NTAs for "could have handled it better lately and we are supposed to go on facts provided.

[@ZPokemonfanA]

"Apologize to keep the peace" Translation: Apologize so the whiny overgrown baby of the family will stop throwing a hissy fit.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: man your roommates insecurity is sad. What makes it worse is OP's not even doing a lot, he's doing chores, and being nice and polite, if your roommates that intimidated by so little then it sounds like he's a really crappy boyfriend.

[@RiveroftheWither]

Frankly, roommate sounds like a Nice Guy™. A guy that treats basic human decency, favors, nice gestures, etc as a transaction to get girlfriends and sex. These guys are commonly overly possessive and often verbally abuse their girlfriends when they manage to keep up the facade long enough to actually get a relationship. I say this because these guys tend to think most guys think the same as them. So he's literally viewing ops ACTUAL kindness as him playing nice to steal his girlfriend. At least that's what his attitude seems like to me.

[@salicaguillotines]

​@@RiveroftheWither The insecurities are palpable.

[@11regnartseht]

I have to disagree this time rSlash. The babysitter letting the kids thrash the house is fully appropriate in that situation. That mother needs a reality check. I'm a father. Not disciplining you kids is super irresponsible. For one it puts the disciplining of her kids on literally the entire rest of the world, and two, it's going to not only turn those kids into entitled monsters but also set them up for failure later in life.

[@gardnerhill9073]

I've dealt with horrid children whose parents thought it was child abuse to say "no" to the little dears. It never turns out well. (Including one kid-haver and grand-kidhaver joking about what a Handful their little boy was as he chased older girls and tried to tear their shirts off - only to turn on me, snarling, when I coldly told them to discipline that little monster before they raise a r*pist.)

[@chriscarpenter3370]

gotta agree with that.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@gardnerhill9073 Oh my god.....I don't condone hitting children unless absolutely deserved and necessary and this would be on of those instances. If my young son was committing sexual attack crimes against other people at a young age. I would slap him into another nationality, I would drag him over to the girl's house and tell her parents exactly what my son did and make him apologize to the poor girl, then I would take him to a neurologist and get him evaluated for mental disorders and see what can be done. Some kids really do deserve to be hit and some kids really need to be hit because they need a very brutal wake up call to see how horrible their behavior is. But that's why you only save hitting for moments like that. You can discipline your children without violence and they can still turn into monsters but when your kid does horrific things like that, nice disciplining isn't enough anymore.

[@darlenefraser3022]

Totally agree. Let her deal with the fallout for her lack of parenting.

[@Nekulturny]

Yeah, Dabney def got that wrong. This is Malicious Compliance, I would expect him to appreciate it more. Mandy is a nut, and I want to know is she even the one paying the babysitting money? The story says she tried to convince my parents not to pay me, which suggests to me shes getting free babysitting in the first place, well, you get what you pay for.

[@JB-ew6pi]

Bro: “I’m gonna humiliate and emasculate you!” OP: wins competition. Bro: “HOW DARE YOU HUMILIATE AND EMASCULATE ME!” What a child 🙄

[@thunderflare59]

That boomerang stung coming back. 😂

[@dracko158]

Mom: "APOLOGIZE FOR BEING BETTER THAN OUR BAAAABY!!!" The family: **Nods in agreement** The mom and the family isn't any better at all.

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

His pride and ego got hurt because he isn't better than OP in this shooting competition. I bet he was planning on showing off considering he invited the entire family to watch. I honestly feel bad for his wife to me married to such a prick

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

@@dracko158 favoritism in a nutshell

[@Crazyashley42]

The funniest thing is that you don't even have to be that good to be "combat trained." Source: Am in Navy. Most folks are average at best, lol

[@JasperCatProductions]

Just don’t go to Mother’s Day….who wants to celebrate a mother like that. Go limited contact with these people.

[@thunderflare59]

"Don't threaten me with a good time" comes to mind.

[@dracko158]

Like, how is that even a threat? They know damn well how they treated OP.

[@Mithandune]

Op said he went to his GF parents on mother's day and his girlfriend mother told him: "The gift I really want is you as a son in law".

[@Tustin2121]

@@Mithandune- Okay, that’s adorable. I hope OP cuts contact and adopts the GF’s family.

[@thunderflare59]

@@Mithandune A tier mom

[@UrbanHermitKat]

Last story something that wasnt adressed, OP's husband allowed his mother to tear down OP, while OP was pregnant, stress from bullying is not super ideal for a pregnant woman. The husband deserves a butthole score too, cant even bother to help your wife carrying your kid. I think OP should bring light on that they cannot count on her mother in law's words going forward. And only allow supervised visits to any grandkids. Someone who only has themselves in mind should not be allowed access to kids without the parents present. Also OP should not have to appologize, the mother in law should.

[@robertc.9503]

It doesn't sound like he knew about what his mother was doing before the party, but he definitely shouldn't have asked his wife to apologize.

[@jo-annbastings]

You are absolutely right! OP shouldn’t apologize at all!

[@erinbear100]

Came here to say this. Op's husband should have stuck up for OP. Like if mil doesn't realize she got caught, she's just going to keep lying about stuff. And now that there's egg on her face, she's possible to start retaliation.

[@koolkel00]

2nd story: this is total bullshit, the military brother shouldn't have been a demeaning piece of shit out to hurt you, and then when you showed him up, he pissed and whined like a petty little baby. You are blameless.

[@peterzarelli1432]

Yeah I came here to post this, the husband definitely deserves a butthole score for asking OP to apologise. It's a pretty sure sign he doesn't respect her, OP is in a really tough situation here.

[@silverflight01]

Story 2: Well, he boasted about shooting a gun better than OP, they competed, and he lost. That SHOULD'VE been a humbling moment, but no, his "Golden Child" narcissism wouldn't let him accept defeat. The wife needs to run though

[@meloelebi1996]

When your babysitter admits to having no experience and you forbid her from punishing your kids the second time you send her in, you better have a really good alternate method for her or you're just setting them up for failure.

[@dracko158]

Story 2: NTA. The brother is a massive AH for sure, but can we talk about the mother here? She is demanding an apology for...what? For daring to be better at something than his brother? For proving them wrong that the brother isn't as good as they expected? And not allowing OP to come for mother's day? What kind of threat is that? Why would OP want to celebrate with a terrible mother? Ugh, this golden child concept just pisses me off.

[@nuages8915]

Probably an apology for humiliating his brother

[@Kinetix3050]

There's NO WAY I'm gonna babysit a child that I can't discipline and run around cleaning up after them because they can't handle the word "no". Mandy can keep her goblins and take them to her mom's too.

[@KumiChan2004]

I could tell my sister's kids no. The problem was that she'd say she would be home at midnight. Then 2 am. Then 4 am. Guess who comes in at 5 am. She would tell me that I could just sleep at her house. I'm sorry. I'm not comfortable sleeping on your couch, with at least 1 of your kids having a habit of stealing stuff, with my coat on, and knowing that there's drugs in your house.

[@danielbrant6740]

That babysitting story can be summed up by a Lisa Simpson quote: _"Slave labour; you get what you paid for." Yes, I'm aware OP's parents were the ones paying them, but it speaks volumes as to why the original babysitter might've bailed last minute.

[@DarkEinherjar]

Mandy: "DON'T DISCIPLINE MY KIDS!" Also Mandy: "WHY DIDN'T YOU DISCIPLINE MY KIDS?!"

[@Foxfire-xq5ij]

Babysitting story: not the bad guy. The mother stated a limit. The baby sitter adhered to the limit. That’s it. Period.

[@0307scott]

The Last story: OP's husband deserves a AH score for telling his wife to apologise to his mother. OP did nothing wrong and the MIL was caught red handed to be a liar who can't keep a secret even though she promised to not tell. MIL 3 out 5 AH for not keeping a secret / pressuring her daughter in-law for the gender of the baby even though OP insisted she didn't know OP's husband: 2 out 5 AH for being spineless and not standing up for his wife and not putting his mother in line OP: 0 out of 5 AH If OP's husband does start backing up his wife then that relationship will end sooner OR later.

[@raarasunai4896]

Story with OP letting the kids run wild, Mandy is clueless. I could understand if she said “Don’t discipline kids in X way,” but just saying “Don’t discipline kids.” She needs to teach her kids about consequences before the legal/justice system do when they’re adults and “Oopsie, I didn’t mean to,” won’t get them out of trouble

[@NovaGirl8]

Nah. Her kids are absolute angels and would never hurt a fly. Other people just misunderstood them or just flat out liars who are hell-bent on being unfair to her kids. She's probably that kind of mom.

[@Ikajo]

Yeah, I can understand not wanting someone using a method like timeout on your kids. Not only isn't it particularly effective, most people don't even really know how to actually apply it. But children need structure and boundaries. At the same time, OP's brother is being a horrible father and husband. I'm guessing Mandy feels overwhelmed and is struggling a lot.

[@lancerevell5979]

Mandy got what she deserved. Bummer. OP did the absolute best thing. Mandy's lack of proper parenting was revealed.

[@Hybrid301]

That brother really put his foot in his mouth. That’s like saying that he could beat Usain Bolt at running because he actually had to run for his life once.

[@lancerevell5979]

"Combat training" is utterly different from competition shooting. OP simply proved this. Brother is an arse. OP needs to walk away from this hot mess of a family, go No Contact. 🤨

[@LedgerBalance]

​@lancerevell5979 I was going to say the same thing. While marksmanship is important in combat, being able to work as one unit is more important. I'm combat trained. That means I've spent more time bounding, breaching and clearing "glass houses," and practicing CLS in the dungeon than actually shooting at a range. A lot more time.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: How was it an accident he intentionally took your stuff because he didn't have any? And if you and used it couldn't have been that clean that he thought I was new. I doubt him going one day without shaving gets going to kill him, and this is what happens when you take someone else's stuff without permission.

[@wargamesmaster]

That story reminds mind of the end of a Parker Lewis can't lose episode where the sister tried to prank her brother by using his razor to clean up her shoes and he answered back "that's ok, I used your toothbrush to clean up the aquarium".

[@vidal9747]

@@wargamesmaster This is full on a health hazard. Putting dirty things in your bloodstream is worse than putting it in your mouth...

[@TJDious]

It wasn't an accident it was stealing.

[@TJDious]

​@@wargamesmaster Parker Lewis... now that's a name I've not heard in a long time.

[@condorboss3339]

I bet it's the last time he 'borrows' her razor though. 🤣

[@ajjamsen694]

I love how Mandy couldn't even bother asking OP if they could babysit in the first place. They asked the parents, like OP had no choice in the matter. 🤡

[@moebiusjdx7288]

The family in story 2 is utter trash. I wish someone called them out to their face for their bull. OP needs to tell them what trash they are and block them from his life completely.

[@dracko158]

"Utter Trash" is an understatement, they are absolute scum of the earth. Golden child and scapegoat should never be a thing, EVER!

[@xxiSHTAr9000x]

Pessimistically speaking: as soon as you call them out on their BS, they’ll most likely try and gaslight you on why they’re doing nothing wrong.

[@sourisvoleur4854]

@@xxiSHTAr9000x YEs! That's why it's better to just go NC

[@Sanodi21]

The first two stories are basically 'My brother is the golden child and I'm gaslighted by my parents'. Both OPs are NTA, the brothers are TA and garbage, and the parents are worse for still supporting and enabling them and their terrible habits. Though hopefully the wife in the second story becomes an EX. She deserves better and probably got gaslit into marrying him by the family considering how the parents cut out OP.

[@cube252002]

Nah, first two stories are classic “I can do no wrong because GENDER!” female entitlement stories where if the roles were reversed females would be bleating “MISOGYNY!”!!!

[@blondethunder8912]

Calling the first one a golden child is reaching a little

[@xSydneyyRae]

@@blondethunder8912is it? is it really?

[@blondethunder8912]

@@xSydneyyRae for the first one not the second

[@LedgerBalance]

I'm former airborne infantry in the US Army. I qualified expert marksman every time. I never did this, but if I entered a high school shooting competition, I would get my ass stomped! "Combat trained" means nothing against exhibition shooting.

[@GoinBand2]

Mandy was probably hoping that OP would clean up the house so not only would she get free babysitting, but free housecleaning as well.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The bad babysitting story: OP did exactly what they were told to do. Mandy is raising to demon-spawn and doesn't want anyone else stepping on her toes as the mother. Part of being a parent memes teaching kids boundary is, that the word know is a complete sentence and ingraining in them that consequences to actions fist. Understandably these kids are toddlers and they don't really understand much of anything yet, but that's why consistency is key. OP is a legend for letting Mandy's bad parenting come back to bite her in the butt. I'm starting to see why OP’s brother stays out the house for hours on end because even he doesn't want to be around the kids.

[@kaimagnus5760]

Story 2: Brother: I'm an alpha male bad ass! OP: *Flexes hard on his brother* Parents: WAIT That's Illegal!!!

[@kaimagnus5760]

@@desperateneedofscotch Not even sure I know what "3 Gun" is. I'm just proficient enough with a Shotgun in CQC for home defense. I probably couldn't hit anything that was moving at a distance of over 10 yards.

[@kaimagnus5760]

@@desperateneedofscotch That actually sounds pretty fun.

[@christiantalbert7460]

I’m surprised that the husband in the babysitting story wasn’t given an AH score as well. The fact that OP said that Mandy did all of the “real parenting” and allowing his kids to act like that is horrible.

[@ScooterBond1970]

Sounds like neither Mandy nor the husband do any parenting.

[@myopinion69420]

WHY would you use your sisters razer, at BEST she used it on her legs AT BEST.

[@kaimagnus5760]

Seriously! I had 5 sisters growing up so I know EXACTLY how nasty the female species can be.

[@backtoklondike]

And even if OP was a guy, that still would be disgusting because even just shaving the face could have stuff like puss or blood in the razer. Plus you don't know if the guy is manscaping or not with that razer. And I'll always assume a woman with a razer is grooming their ladyparts, even if they aren't. So I won't touch it no matter what.

[@vikkran401]

Sharing razers is even worse then sharing toothbrushes ffs. It doesn't matter where on the body they used it

[@Rj-ij6ko]

Story 4: LOOOOL Sil is such a spoiled brat. “how DARE you discipline MY kids, that is not your place” **Op doesn’t discipline the kids** “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” No Op NTA, SIL just wants to be mad at something, i HOPE this is just her being at her breaking point and snapping at you due to stress, but regardless you are completely justified (also, never babysit for her again)

[@SABRMatt2010]

Story 4: NTA Even if he put on a Disney movie or something, there's absolutely no guarantee that the kids would behave. Have you even see 2/3 year old kids watching TV? They still run around and break stuff if you don't stop them.

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, NTA: Ok even if it was an honest mistake and OP's brother didn't know it was being used for what OP said it was used for, he still shouldn't be using things that doesn't belong to him. Maybe this will stop him from stealing OP's stuff. I agree, this is plain as day sexism on the parents' part. Brother shouldn't be stealing his sister's things plain and simple Second Story, NTA: First off, parents who play favorites are the worst kind of parents and shouldn't be a parent at all if they have no intentions of treating both kids with the same amount of love and bonding. That being said, this man is mad because OP found the one (out of many I have no doubts) thing that they are much better than him in. He tried to call OP out and he got a dose of reality. OP just hurt his massive ego and his pride. He is an AH and their parents are AHs; OP is better off cutting contact with these people Comment: Lmao I agree with this comment and I didn't think about that. The fact his own wife thanked OP for destroying him speaks so much volume about this guy Comment Reply: That is also true, I wonder how he does treat his wife Third Story, NTA: It honestly seems like this guy is either envious as hell or insecure as hell. I think this guy somehow put in his head that OP is trying to steal his gf from him when in reality OP is just trying to be a good host to company Comment: I agree with this comment entirely Fourth Story, NTA: This backwards ass logic on Mandy's part. So she expects the house to not get destroyed but also expects OP to not discipline the kids when they misbehave? It's either the house remains in tact with the kids behaving or the house gets destroyed with the kids misbehaving. Mandy is just setting OP up for failure at this point and I can see why Mandy can't find a babysitter because who would want to work for someone that will enforce this dumb rule of her's Fifth Story, NTA: OP didn't embarrass her, MIL embarrassed herself by going against her own word and telling everyone the gender that OP wasn't sure of and just said on the fly. MIL right then and there just showed that not only she can't keep promises but that she will tell anyone a secret the first chance she gets

[@dracko158]

Story 2: Agree with ya completely. IMO, Favouritism just destroys whatever relationships you have with your kids. Favouritism is the root cause to all golden child/scapegoat kids. When you have to have a scapegoat, it just shows you failed as a parent, that's it.

[@blondethunder8912]

Don’t claim sexism when it’s a man and a woman. You sound dumb

[@AWholeBeew]

Oh, come on, rshlash! You had the perfect setup for "You get zero out of five shaved buttholes. Everyone else gets one out of five shaved buttholes."

[@spydersoup8447]

I'm sure he would've made that joke if it wasn't for KZbin's restrictions.

[@unvoicedapollo3318]

I'm giving the husband in the last story 0.5 or 1 out of 5 bad guys too. The peace wouldn't have needed to be kept if the MIL hadn't ignored OP's wishes. MIL should be the one apologizing, not the OP.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 4: to start with I don't appreciate how she try to force you into this by going straight to the authority that has the power to make you. As if she saying I know you won't want to do it, so I'm going to force you by getting your parents involved. And yeah you could put on the movie for them but at some point they'll 1 something I can't have and throw a tantrum and then where you supposed to do? FBI will come of this whole thing is you no longer are allowed to babysit that sounds like a win-win to me, but that's probably not going to happen because clearly no one else is going no one to babysit those kids with the no discipline rule. At least with you your parents can force you into it

[@IsMgb45]

There is an update for story 3: op tried to talk with roomate, but he double down, then the girlfriend left him

[@dovahkiin6488]

Well, it seems like he fucked around and found out

[@neebnabs]

Roommate: *is kind, attentive, and generally a nice person* The Boyfriend: how DARE YOU make me look bad!!!!! I don't wanna be all these things!!! And now she knows that someone can be these things without expecting sex!!!!!

[@shadowman7307]

Brother: "I'm combat trained!" Me: "Well, you seen much combat?"

[@rashef]

If anything the AH brother should be grateful for a piece of humble pie. On a real Battlefield overconfidence is what gets You sent home, in a body bag if there's anything to pack left of You.

[@lancerevell5979]

Or worse, it gets his buddies killed.

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* This all could've been prevented if OP's brother hadn't taken OP's things. Their parents sound like real prizes, as well. /s. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* ... Why is OP still in contact with his (I'm assuming OP is a dude) family? They Cleary don't care about him. OP is NTA, and good for him for clearing his brother's side. The petty side of me approves 😛 *Third OP:* Sounds like OP's roommate feels like OP makes him look bad in front of his girlfriend. That's not OP's problem. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* OP's family sucks, lol. I'm surprised her (I'm assuming OP is a girl) parents even paid her afterwards. OP is NTA. It's another Malicious Compliance crossover. *Fifth OP:* OP came with receipts! Ya love to see it. OP is NTA, and she should not apologize to "keep the peace." Keep rocking that boat.

[@your_local_questerian]

This reminds me of another story on r/MaliciousCompliance where OP didn't discipline the girl she was babysitting for's children. This was because she told her not to discipline them.

[@marylowther8495]

Story one: OP's parents obviously have a golden child and it isn't her. How can stealing from his sister be "an honest mistake"? Brother is a thief and parents are accomplices.

[@blondethunder8912]

Bro it isn’t that deep and golden child is really reaching

[@calhuh1232]

​@@blondethunder8912 its that deep when he does it more than once and your parents never listen to you

[@blondethunder8912]

@@calhuh1232 but it isn’t that big of a deal. I feel like it is normal to give a little more leeway to a child than to an adult. But it isn’t like she was disowned.

[@calhuh1232]

@@blondethunder8912 Thats terrible. A little leeway? Seriously? He stole from her multiple times and he's not a child anymore, its not like he's 10 or 7. He's 16!. By your logic if a 16 year old kills someone he should be granted leeway.

[@blondethunder8912]

@@calhuh1232 well legally he is a child but he never stole from her, stealing is like if he took money from her. This isn’t that big of a deal bro you are acting like he really did commit murder plus doing what he did and murder are 2 very different things, that is like saying a dolphin is a blue whale. You sound dumb.

[@MrsShocoTaco]

My brother is the only son, first born, and suffered an accident as a child that set him back in his development. Because of this, he was coddled horribly by our mother. He never once had to so much as pick up his own underwear off the floor. Of he didn't flush the toilet, it was someone else's job to do so. These are not exaggerations. He didn't really take advantage of it. He just didn't notice. That is, until we were adults and our mom got sick. Suddenly, there was no one to do the normal day to day things for him. That's when he realized how little he had to do growing up. I've spent the years since researching my adult brother how to be human. Parents who are spoiling your kids, you aren't doing them any favors. One day, you will be gone, your kid will be thrown into reality not knowing what to do with themselves, and it will be 100% your doing. They will realize what you did to them for your own benefit, and they will despise you for it.

[@peoplecallmetweety]

I love baking for others, there's nothing better than bringing joy to people with my food. I love seeing their reaction and smiles. There's nothing weird, I used to share everything with my roommate's boyfriend and she had nothing against it because she's not an insecure child.

[@jennteal5265]

3rd: NTA. Obviously we have a cultural thing going on here - OP is from the south and so he's ultra polite and enjoys sharing. The roomate is jealous and _knows_ that he doesn't look very kind or hardworking in comparison. This is coming from inferiority and jealousy - plain and simple. We don't have enough truly kind people in this world so keep being you, OP!

[@WraythSkitzofrenik]

I'd like to hang out with him.

[@silentlion_zer0562]

Ever since school ended for me, I never get out of bed until I've finished listening to rslash

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 2: ask your mom if she would be this upset if your brother was the one who won and emasculated you after claiming he was better than you in front of the whole family several times. Watch her struggle to find some BS excuse to why that would be different. Remind everyone that your brother was the one who set this up and wanted to humiliate you in front of everyone, then ask then why you're an a-hole for not letting it happen.

[@dracko158]

"B-b-but...! But our BAAAABY should be better than you in everything! And HOW DARE YOU be better than him in something! I demand you stop doing shooting competitions and suck ass, NOW!" -The mom, probably.

[@sophietremblay3795]

I agree and the poor wife who has to endure a pathetic man and his annoying parents sad

[@milliedove2493]

Hey rslash, thank you for the stories you read, some of the relationship stories I've heard you and others read that were all too similar to where I was at started me on a path to see the horrible issues I was experiencing in my relationship that I was always trying to excuse, ignore or deny from the man I was with for 6 years and 2 kids, one of which was a new born, no physical stuff but still bad that after a particularly bad morning a few weeks ago I finally just I guess woke up and when he stormed out screaming at me, a common occurrence, I told him to not come back and I think it would have happened eventually but hearing the stories and responses and comments I had my eyes open sooner, not liking for sympathy just saying thank you, I'm probably not the only one that have been helped listening to situations similar to theirs, you guys can truly be impacting people's lives without even knowing it so keep up the great work and again, thank you

[@alexhulea2735]

Well..... Story 1: OP is definitely not the A. A man shaving with a female razor by accident is difficult at best and utterly impossible at worst. Doing it on purpose is just rude. Story 2: putting a braggart in his place is an automatic 0/5. Story 3: 100% agree with rSlash. Story 4: b-word shouldn't complain that forcing a relative is an utter disaster. Last story: It may just be a cultural difference, but i don't see the need to organize an event to tell the family if it's going to be a boy or girl. On the other hand, NEVER apologize to appease someone's ego. Why? Because you will end up doing it again every time they hurt their ego

[@rylashadow18]

S1) This sounds like FAFO. Dude wasn't in no rush, just selfish also knew this was his sisters. He was told not to use it for a reason and learned why. Does OP's parents think its okay for him to steal from her just because he wants to use it and it's just soo much more easy for him to take and not ask. Has he always been the favorite? I'd find a friend or someone else to stay with for visits from now on OP. S2) When OP's mom said "You can't come home for mother's day until you apologies." The best response would've been "So your admitting you only have and care for one child right? Cause that's what I'm hearing and what was shown to me for years. I'll do you the extra favor of considering you as well as anyone who enables him and his behavior the best gift ever. We're no longer family." S3) He's not upset you've done these thoughtful and caring things. He's upset that he feels insignificant and can't deal with it. It's not your fault he doesn't even do the bare minimum in/ around the house and in his relationships. I'd reconsider staying with this guy though. Now that his fee fee's been hurt he'll be looking to make things even. Cause that's how man babies like him act. S4) You just complied to her request. Also I can see why the babysitter canceled at the last minute if this is what they've had to deal with. Also tell your parents you're no longer going to babysit these two because she can't/ won't discipline them. They're being set up for failure and she's going to learn that the world doesn't/ won't be playing when the time comes for put up or shut up consequences. Your brother is the worse in this scenario. Tell your parents that if they even ask you one more time you'll see it as favortism and won't tolerate it. If they feel she deserves a break from her kids they're welcome to offer their time. Yours isn't available anymore nor is it up for debate. Save what you can when it comes to money OP. You'll be needing it to escape this toxicity. S5) This isn't just a MIL problem its also an SO problem. He needs to tell his mom either respect your boundaries or she's out. She needs to learn no means no. OP your going to have to talk to your SO about this being the last straw because it is. She'll want to name your child. She'll want to decorate a room at her house for "sleepovers." She'll come into your home if your close enough and has a key to "borrow" your son without consent. The list goes on. Put your foot down OP. Also tell hubby that if he wants to choose his mom when he made a vow to forsake all others for you that you're more than happy to pack him a bag and send him her way. Seeing as he's just showing you he isn't man enough nor adult enough to be in a marriage.

[@ElkiaStellar]

1: NTA obvi, he shouldn't be using other people's things without permission. The parents even got mad at her because she told the truth. 2: NTA, the parents brainwashed OP to feel bad for her brother even though he asked this himself. I'm sure that they wouldn't care if OP was the one who got humiliated 3: NTA, sounds like he's very insecure and doesn't want her to realize she can do better 4: NTA, she got what she wanted, what's the problem here? was OP supposed to clean everything the children did like Cinderella? 5: NTA, the husband is a coward for bending so quickly, I'm sure this won't be the last time OP has to apologize for something her MIL did.

[@christiantolson9104]

Story 1 is the reason why my mom with three teens (my older sister, me (f) and my little brother (all stairstep in ages)) had 8 different shaving kits in the house. Each of us had a specific color/scent AND had three backup sets of the same color/scent

[@thunderflare59]

That roommate is pretty insecure, but at least he's aware OP is making him look bad.

[@the_rachel_sam]

It’s honestly the perfect example of when someone who is jealous needs to look within themself to find out the root cause, which is their insecurity.

[@SoldierSpiderx]

Second story: OP the fact you beat your brother in front of the family and they still blame you and even want you apologize for humiliating him, OP you need to cut all contact with your family and the reason the SIL the only one who said thank you for that when nobody was around cause even the SIL know she be mistreat bad by OP family if they knew SIL support OP and third story OP roommate is very insecure as hell like instead of get mad at OP, he could ask OP to teach him how to cook for him and his gf but he just put all the blame on OP, and OP keep doing what you do, you find a wife for sure

[@baliyae]

Babysitting Story: Given the way Nick and Mya behave, I think there’s a *reason* Mandy can’t find a babysitter for them.

[@intrinsicallylast5246]

So I feel like I should throw in my 2 cents here on the babysitting but mostly because I have a Cousin who does the 'don't tell the kids no' game, kids she's asked me to watch(and I was happy to do so) setting aside the fact that they were definitely WAY more well behaved than these kids at almost the exact same age they were STILL at that age where they're going to be expressive, loud, uncertain and explorative. I thought it was weird too, I still don't know how I feel about it but she didn't just let me watch them then yelled at me after the fact, she explained from the get go what she wants me to do. She set boundaries with me, explains how she parents her own children and showed me what she wanted me to do. Not only does it sound like the 'Mom' in this story is more of an absent parent(as in just straight up letting her kids do whatever and doing nothing to help them with that energy) but she also refused to explain HOW she wanted her kids to be Babysat in the first place(probably with ANY babysitter, really). It took my Cousin all of 10 minutes to sit down and list out how she wanted me to watch her kids. This isn't a 'no boundaries, don't say no' parent, this is a 'how dare you parent my children when I refuse to' parent. I might not agree with the don't say no style but doing it the right way and giving your kids an outlet definitely doesn't cause _this_. Her kids have turned out amazing, btw; smart, humble and not selfish or entitled at all. This is JUST bad parenting. OP is right, if they're not going to explain to them HOW she wants her kids to be looked after then she's not entitled to getting mad here.

[@emilchristensen8501]

Story 1: Calculate the cost of every razorblade your brother use, and hand him a bill everytime he does it. The least he can do is pay

[@itsOasus]

Say it with me folks: DON'T TAKE WITHOUT ASKING!

[@roselover411]

No, the babysitter OP was not the AH here. If they aren't allowed to discipline the kids in any way, then absolutely letting them destroy the house is the result.

[@Beartornado-BT]

That Mother in Law Story is always funny when it repeats itself within other families. Do not apologize, let their behavior have consequences and with any sense they'll think twice before acting in the future.

[@TheSilverLioness]

That second story needs a good ol' no contact from OP, I would say he should stay in contact with SIL because I think she might be going through something similar with OPs brother, so who better to help her that the one that knows what he's capable of. Babysitting story is just pure malicious compliance.

[@theoryofeeveelution]

That second story made me laugh so hard! This is yet another case of a bully being able to dish it out, but not take it. OP's brother and family are such bad guys I'm surprised they can't see it. If I were OP I would apologize to his parents...for the way his brother turned out and that they have to be OP's parents. The brother's wife sounds like she is well aware of his AH nature, and prors to her for standing behind OP on this. This "golden child" crap really makes me mad.

[@mrlugh]

Story1: It may be possible that the parents were unaware of OP's prior attempts to curb her brother's behaviour, but even then they should have inquired what drove OP's "outburst" before passing judgement. Personally, I think the total situation justified the moment (not like she took the razaor and cut up brother's possesions or something crazy).

[@korenoire]

2nd Story: "𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵, 𝓲𝓯 𝓲𝓽 𝓲𝓼𝓷'𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼" NTA, OP's brother had it coming and their parents are real POS for enabling his ego.

[@dannispann9077]

How did you make script font in KZbin comments?

[@toriistorii6939]

Using someone else's razor is a great way to give yourself a skin infection. Much like crossing any other hygiene product, you don't know what the other person has going on!

[@justicedunham4088]

“While Mandy does the actual parenting” I can promise you if the kids act like that then Mandy is not parenting either. You aren’t a parent if you never teach your children discipline.

[@tomsonrk]

the babysitting story: the not acutaly hire op to babysit. on the second occation ops parents made him / her babysit, They forced Op

[@KellyDVance]

Story 1) so the parents are more upset by their daughter's "tone" than the are their son's repeated violation of boundaries? Also, I wonder if they come down on their son's "crude" language, because at 16, I'm pretty sure he uses it.

[@CesarHernandez-wd4pz]

That thumbnail reminded me of something. Once as a kid I was very hyperactive, and in the area where we live there's never snow, so with a cousin, we did a plan; we picked all the baby powder we could find and gave a room at my grandma's house a nice white coat and pretended that it was snow, we even made "snow angels" and fought with the powder's containers. Oddly enough, my mother didn't punish me for that, maybe because of my grandma pampering me all the time. That was one of the few times I escaped a punishment, I was such an energy ball as a kid.

[@matthewmfreeman1235]

The first story about op's brother who keeps using her things is that he isn't in a pinch because he's the golden child who could do no wrong and the op is just an embarrassment to the family and the family just wishes that op would go away and not come back to her family

[@bland9876]

The boyfriend who's jealous of his roommate and basically acting like he thinks his roommate's going to steal his girlfriend or something doesn't have to be better at any of the things that OP is "showing him up on" his mind. All he has to do is not be jealous or whatever the exact word is and instead just show his girlfriend what good traits he brings to the table.

[@SABRMatt2010]

Story 2: he gave the brother a chance to humiliate HIM...he failed. How is this OP's fault. Bail...get out of there. They're all completely toxic.

[@CooperGal24]

Second Story: NTA What about the rest of OP’s family? Are they a bunch of coddled who favored the Favorite Brother like the parents, or do they have the same thoughts against him AND his parents like OP? I’d like to think that the rest of OP’s family are WAY more decent than the Entitled Toxic Family and treated OP as family AND a person. OP’s parents and brother are nothing but mentally and emotionally abusive to OP, treating them as if they’re nothing but “extra baggage and useless” to them. Cut those family out of your life, OP. They showed their real colors by enabling and coddling Brother as if he’s the Savior of the World, they showed who THEY chose as the “favorite”, THEY basically gave OP the choice to “apologize or don’t come see us EVER AGAIN!”. OP, take this chance and opportunity to move out of that hellhole and live with your family or girlfriend, then file a restraining order against the toxic family and disown them! When the parents find out that brother’s wife divorced the man-child and they NOW have a useless, jobless bum who’s just lazing about in their home and do nothing but bark orders at them and treats THEM like slaves, they’re gonna try and CRAWL back to OP, BEGGING them to be their “New favorite” child. But OP would just turn them away and use THEIR words against them. Or even BETTER. Turn them away by saying “I’m sorry. Who ARE you people? If I remember correctly, I don’t have parents. They NEVER wanted anything to do with me, JUST MY CODDLED BROTHER. Good day to you, STRANGERS.”

[@BunnyQueen97]

The video the thumbnail is from is HILARIOUS 😂 the oldest kid (like 3-4) comes up to mom covered in flour and goes, “mom come look!” He leads her into the living room where the baby (less than 1) is just BATHING in a puddle of flour. Now I’m remembering it being something wet, like paint? Either way, the mom is in tears laughing and panicking 😂

[@impishrebel5969]

/taps foot in ex-parentified sibling /checks watch No, Dabs, OP could not have handled it better. This is what I call, from my own history of older brothers and their children, no win scenarios. If OP put on a movie, or tried to keep them occupied otherwise, and those kids didn't want to anyway they'd be pulling the same thing because they KNEW they wouldn't be getting any discipline. More than likely the kids were party to their mom dressing down OP and when that happens, when the mother undermines the "babysitters/forced labor"'s authority, the kids will walk all over them. It happened to me. I was miserable every time I was kidnapped (yes, literally kidnapped and abandoned in the middle of the woods at their house under false pretenses with a thirty minute walk away to the nearest bus stop along dark, dangerous country roads) because none of the little goblins respected me and any time I tried to put them in time out, one of the others would act up, I'd have to go deal with it, and the punished child would immediately go to destroying something else while I was dealing with the other. They were ungrateful, rude, spoiled, and stole things out of my own room when they came to visit. Nothing I ever did helped, I would get raspberries for trying to teach them manners. I would get screaming and yelling when I told them their behavior wasn't acceptable. I would get the kids telling their mother how horrible I was and get yelled and screamed at more, or screamed and yelled at for not "stopping" the kids from doing x or breaking y. OP was absolutely in the right and I'm so glad she put a stop to their imminent abuse of OP by letting things take their course. OP found the one win and took it.

[@realbadger]

"Hey mother-in-law, your spineless son insisted I apologize to you to 'keep the peace' after you proved yourself a liar so.... I'm sorry you're a liar and that everyone in the family now knows you're a liar..."

[@1bendykat]

Happy Friday!

[@fabianvlogs2334]

No

[@Exhausted_Always]

​@@fabianvlogs2334yes

[@Kiyoshra]

Thx you too

[@ashleyharan6618]

You too!

[@agentmaryland1239]

Story 1) He is 16 years old, old enough to know that when someone says 'do not do this thing' that they should not do that thing. He is old enough for a job, why does he not buy himself some excess? Or keep notes to know when he's low on something? He's not *your* child and therefore he's not *your* responsibility, meaning that when he runs out of his stuff, it's not your obligation to supply him with something 'in a pinch'. You put down a boundary and he is stepping all over it and your parents are basically telling you to let him walk all over your boundaries. NTA. Story 2) So, what exactly were they expecting? That you throw the competition that *he* pushed for so that he could look like a macho prick? He should have swallowed up his pride and just admitted that you're better than him at something and honestly, being 'combat trained' doesn't mean shit if you're not actually putting the effort in to maintain that 'training'. So it honestly sounds like your family is doing you a favor, just go no contact with them, they don't deserve your time anyway. NTA. Story 3) Not the asshole, it honestly just kind of seems like he's jealous because he expects relationships to most likely be the woman does all the work around the house and all he has to do is go to work then come home and sleep or have sex. By doing what you're doing, you're showing his gf that there's more to people (of part of the world and gender) than just doing your 'manly' duties and then being a bum. You're literally showing her what a good friend and partner is *supposed* to be like and he doesn't like it. NTA. Story 4) So basically, these kids have 0 discipline and likely no actual care given to them. If their first instinct is to destroy the house, then that means Mandy's idea of 'caring' for her children, is likely to turn on Bluey or Paw Patrol while she sits on the phone in another room chatting away with her friends for hours. And when she comes back to the mess they've no doubt made by that point, she just pats them on the head and calls them her little angels. NTA, you are almost an adult, your parents can not force you to babysit those little hellions. Story 5) Tell your husband that he can keep the peace all he wants, it's not your fault that his mother is a lying sack of shit with an ego complex. NTA.

[@jamiesuejeffery]

The babysitter. I was 17 once. I am currently in my 50's and a highly trained theologian. Perfect! If I don't know the answer to your theology related question off of the top of my head, I can ask the correct question online or in my personal library and get you the right answer in an hour or less. What I am not is a lawyer. If you ask me to represent you in a court of law, even traffic court, I will be a complete buffoon, completely unqualified. Babysitter, you are not the butthole.

[@esecretlangel9130]

This is the problem with kids now, you can’t tell them no or even stop (in any form), you just have to redirect their energy and focus.

[@maxdark1585]

The last story's apology: I'm sorry I unintentionally caught you in a lie at a gender reveal party.

[@overstuffedghosty]

Chef story: NTA your momma raided you right! You can cook, do chores and still show your southern hospitality as a top tier host. Who Dat?!

[@justin522]

The babysitting one makes me mad. My response to the second babysitting request would have been, "That's not my place." I wouldn't ever tell anyone to know their place. I also don't think anyone's ever told me that.

[@Poptert48]

Am I the butt-hole? No, but at least it’s well shaved!

[@linda-0587]

🤢🤮

[@paiget6200]

😂 😂

[@SABRMatt2010]

Story 1: boundaries matter...more than most people seem to realize. She was honest...it's not her fault he didn't like the truth.

[@lancerevell5979]

Razor story.... Sacrifice a razor head by coating it in dog crap, wipe it just enough to look "clean", leave it for him to use. Let him reap the consequences. 😡

[@beanfarmer369]

for the first story: maybe explain to the brother that you can literally contract diseases from using other peoples' razors. Anything blood related can be caught that way.

[@garyanthony2440]

If he treats his sister like that ,think how disrespectful he is to his wife? What a wimp.

[@nekochan5728]

To The babysitter story.. A similiar thing happened to my mom's current boyfriend. He married his 2nd wife around 30 years ago and she had two teenage boys. They were acting like brats and when he tried to discipline them, the wife told him to not discipline HER children. So he didn't.. They got divorced a few months later. One of the kids is in jail for violence and substance abuse and the other is a drug addict. Kind of sounds like malicious compliance lmao.

[@FredRated1967]

Story 1. If OP really wants to drive the point home for bro to not touch her stuff, she should make a bait shampoo bottle. By that I mean putting Nare (or is it Nair?) in a half used shampoo bottle. That should teach him not to use other people's stuff.

[@breezy3392]

Story 1: It doesn't matter if it's not used. It's not his. Teach him some boundaries

[@GromMolotok]

Final story: yes, apologize. Here's a suggestion that you can rephrase as needed. "I'm sorry I called out your lies in such a public manner, when you did your best to tear me down in the same public space. The next time you lie to me so blatantly, I'll think about picking a less public setting to point it out. That is, unless you refuse to own up to your lies publicly and try to make it look like it's my fault again. I'm also sorry that I cannot trust your word."

[@orbitalcannon2500]

As someone who does competition shooting I L O V E putting people who think they are better than everyone in their place. I was state champion 3 years in a row and pulled 40th in a national competition (toot toot)

[@SamPhoenix_]

With the babysitting story, OP says his brother is an absentee father and acts as the fun uncle - but I wonder if his wife is the same way with him so he just doesn't bother.

[@apensalesman]

Babysitting story: I mean even if OP didn't try to stop the kids, unless they got cameras up in the home I would've put on a shit eating grin and said "I tried to distract them, but without an authority figure to listen to and be disciplined by they just ignored me and continued. I wonder why no one else could babysit them?"

[@auran23]

With regard to the babysitter, definitely NOT the butthole. I've been forced into this exact situation multiple times growing up for my sister and cousins. I wasn't even allowed to yell. And the kids knew it. Tbf, I yelled anyway and actually controlled them as much as I could. It always ended the same way. Them: "Did you yell at the kids for x?" Me: "Yes. Was I wrong for stopping them?" Them: "Well no, but you shouldn't have yelled at them." Me: "..."

[@Tajarim88]

Story 2: OPs brother lovingly set the scene to humiliate OP, but instead of being a good brother for once and playing along, OP had to turn the tables on him. Disgusting!

[@hualni]

How do you discipline kids without disciplining them?

[@debbiethomas2622]

Babysitting story: yeah, you cant "duscipline" them but you could have arranged to have things to "occupy" them. And you can't really not have "inexperience " excuse due to you had the one day prior experience, although not that much. So, the second time, you did have an idea of what to expect. SiL, due to the behavior of both the kids and you, wonder if word went out on the babysitter pipeline, hence why you cant get one?

[@DarkEinherjar]

Story 1: Tell buttface to man up and BUY HIS OWN STUFF.

[@nicholassanabria6493]

I’m guessing the roommate doesn’t understand Southern hospitality it’s a common thing in the south and I learned about it when I worked in NC for 5 years