r/AITA I Kicked My Boyfriend Out After What He Said To My Cat With UPDATE (Am I The A**hole)

[@emijliastarovic8524]

When I was dating my abusive ex partner, he was always super rough with my cat and would antagonize her on purpose. When I told him to knock it off he says they’re just “playing”. My cat would always put herself between me and him while we sat on the couch or slept in bed. Like she was trying to protect me from him or something. Eventually I came to my senses and left that horrible situation and took my sweet cat with me. Both of us are thriving today✨💖

[@WolfgangDoW]

Yeah your cat was protecting you, cats are actually very caring like that Abusive people don't like cats cos you have to earn their trust, you can't command them like dogs

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@WolfgangDoW idk why people keep saying that. Dogs cant be easily commanded. They are extremely loyal and can learn commands sure but so can cats. Both cats and dogs usually protect their owners from abusive people. Its just that dogs are seen as more "openly" affectionate and can be used to attack others. Like i use to not really like cats but after yrs of having them they are just like dogs to me just with different needs and body language

[@b.c.9358]

@@Kris-wo4pj what I understand Den Of Wolves to be saying is something more along the lines of, "controlling people don't like the idea that they may not be able to control cats because they're known to be more independent" rather than they're not easily commanded.

[@capucnechaussonpassion14]

Some dogs are really hard to control, even for their caring owners. It's onenof the reasons why i love Jack Russells they're so messy ! I think that toxic people wouldn't like your pets in general because they get some of your attention when they want all of it.we can read through it like that. I would also never trust someone treating their pet badly.

[@BeautifulBeastie]

My cat died because of my ex abuser..I don't even like talking about it ....

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

The moment my boyfriend "joked" I'd have to get rid of my cats if he were to ever move in. I'd look him in the eye and sat, "Well I guess you wont ever be moving in then. Because between you and my cats. I may love you but my cats are my family. So if you don't like or want them then I don't want you."

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Exactly my babys come first.

[@Flufferz626]

Yep!

[@cheeriomartinez]

I'm sorry but I think that's just really illogical. I'd assume that you were with this person for maybe a year before they moved in. But if you joked around about it you took it that seriously then you have a problem.

[@Digitalfairy]

@@cheeriomartinez Can't take any chances.

[@cheeriomartinez]

@@Digitalfairy what kind of man are you guys dating? And how fast are you getting them to move in with you? Lol I'd assume that when the time came for them to move in with you you would know how they are around your cat.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Imagine being jealous of a cat. "You didn't even consider rehoming the cat", girl you're seriously getting manipulated with THAT? Biggest bs excuse I've ever heard. He sounds dangerous, who knows what he might do to your cat when you're not there, I wouldn't trust him with ANYTHING. Edit for the cat tax: ok but that's a panther, look at the size of those paws!!

[@pebble5478]

The image of a random cat bursting into Mark’s home is hilarious! There use to be a stray cat that would hang out near my house and he would always try to sneak in through the door. My family loved him and eventually we were able to find a home for him. I miss him but happy that he’s off the streets.

[@zerobolt9506]

Right, I started laughing 😂

[@helema23]

yeh it was like "heres waffles!!"

[@animatorstanley]

Dude, an unneutered dog has been trying to get in my house as of late. He's a sweet very well behaved chihuahua. My dog is in heat, Maltese. I'm scared his owner might have been in the house that burned down two days ago. The same day he showed up. My neighbors kid or friend has been taking care of him, and the dog has an airtag but nobody has come for him yet. I mean that house is burned almost to the ground, his owner may be in hospital. I just made myself sad.

[@pebble5478]

@@animatorstanley That is so sad! 😟 Hope things work out for the dog and owner.

[@18Hongo]

Mark: "Oh no!" Poppy: "Oh no!" The neighborhood cat: "OH YEAH!"

[@ItsCamille735]

The whole “You refuse to compromise.” Thing with the cat really pisses me off because when he says comprise he doesn’t actually mean compromise. He means do what I want and get rid of your cat. That’s not a compromise.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 3: NTA! What? I almost get where the YTA votes are coming from, but OP is literally doing nothing to hurt or control his friend. Did they gloss over the part where she still made the choice to date a problematic person that OP recommended against? He IS letting her make her own mistakes. He’s chaperoning to keep her safe and to offer her advice, he’s not dictating who she dates. To me, she honestly sounds like one of those people who end up in abusive relationships and can’t get out. OP is being an amazing and supportive friend.

[@AngelaMerici12]

Exactly my thought. He is being a good friend and is not even sitting at the same table.

[@pippo17173]

Its a reddit moment. Because there is a GF flat out mention here, Reddit assume that OP is a potential cheating asshole.

[@AngelaMerici12]

@@pippo17173 If the girlfriend is so worried, they could literally go together. But as you said, is reddit.

[@robertx8020]

@@pippo17173 True ..as soon as this happens the default verdict goes to 'yta'

[@robertx8020]

It's not like the 'bad boyfriend ' happened 10 yrs ago and he is 'still ' watching over her ... His GF makes it sound like this has been going on for YEARS! The bad GF happened LESS THAN A YEAR AGO! I wonder how his GF would react if anything bad happened to her and ppl would say "get over it" w/i a few months! Maybe his GF is jealous?

[@jnnamartin]

I don't get all the YTA comments on S3... I think it's great he's offering to be backup for her online first dates. Of course, they could just as easily set up something beforehand, like for her to text if it's not going well & he could call to fake an emergency or whatever to get her out of it. But I see him sitting there, unobtrusively with a friend, out of the way, as along the same line.. He's her safety net if something goes wrong. It's not like he's there at every date- just the firsts. ETA: You never know who you're meeting with online dating.

[@kemonono]

this! If she really is into this person and trusts them she will wean herself from the chaperone- esque behaviour and OP very clearly respects her wishes so I reckon it's literally the GF just having a distaste to the situation. I think the man's just looking out for her safety, not to mention they said she wasn't in a stable place mentally right now that could lead to all sorts of issues.

[@RosesCookiesAndMilk]

Yes! The fact it’s only on first dates. If he was chaperoning into a relationship. It’ll be a problem. But he’s just looking out for her.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

Reddit also has a section where people tell their scary stories and I've heard many scary stories from people meeting other people they've gotten to know online only. I think this is a good thing, as long as he's there for the first meeting but allows her to make her own way after that.

[@zerobolt9506]

Same

[@sammieh9695]

I wish I had that kind of support when I was dating guys I met online

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

People mentioned the cat going missing. Its happened. There was an OP who let a sister or brother stay and they hated the OP's cat. One day they came home and the cat "got out" but later learned the relative or in law took the cat and dumped it somewhere. They family wanted the cat gone despite it A not being their home and B this was supposed to be a temporary living for them. I don't remember if they kicked the relatives out and I don't think they ever found the cat but I could be mistaken.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@Madison Knight A) he DID kick them out and B) I think he found the cat?

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

@@slytherinlibrarian3501 AH okay thx its been a long time since I'd heard the story so I wasn't 100% on all the facts anymore.

[@thesquizzle7180]

A neighbour saw where the cat was dumped, if I remember rightly, and brought the cat back, then OP kicked the family out.

[@pippo17173]

Anyone who makes jokes like this without any sense of sarcasm, should be cut off as quickly as possible. The BF here is obvious on getting rid of the cat the moment she is gone. Seriously any partner who has this jealousy over a fucking cat is a r/ImatotalPOS.

[@WolfgangDoW]

Yeah people have stolen cats and even had them killed/destroyed sometimes And it's fucking evil! T__T

[@theloverlyladylo9158]

Story 4: the OP was damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. Didn’t- what happened. Did- enabling the eating disorder. That’s the thing about enabling- it often appears to be the kindest and easiest thing in the moment. That’s what it happens, and why it’s difficult to stop any form of enabling. The only right answer here is for MIL to get therapy, and that’s not something the OP can do.

[@kemonono]

I feel like OP wasn't the asshole, kindness would have been nice, but force feeding yourself when you are not hungry is a TERRIBLE idea and I am tired of explaining it to people. I hate over eating but I do it because I feel guilty and sometimes lose my mind over it @~@

[@Mewse1203]

@@kemonono that's the thing. It wasn't a kindness. It was control that looked like kindness.

[@kemonono]

@@Mewse1203 I'm sorry, I'm a little confused on what you mean?

[@gaxalee7392]

Op would be at risk at developing an eating disorder if she were to constantly enable MIL.

[@electrobuster5483]

we really need a DIYDDIYD option for AITA

[@lizfritz6546]

As someone who has had an ED, OP was nta. The mom needs to he in an inpatient unit if shes fainting from her disorder.

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes, if she's an e.r. doctor she should know better! The way she is ,it means that op has to eat when MIL needs to, which will mess her up and maybe cause her to have her very own eating disorder!

[@wmdkitty]

The MIL sounds manipulative and dishonest, if you ask me.

[@CatsOverBrats]

When I met my husband, I told him if he ever asked me to choose him over my animals, he'd be the one to go. Luckily he loves animals as much as me, and here we are 14 years later. Our oldest cat is such a daddy's girl. It fills my heart with so much joy watching him game with both her and a keyboard in his lap while she purrs away. Never settle when it comes to things like this.

[@brigidtheirish]

1: I'd have reconsidered the relationship when he started making jokes about having to get rid of the cat if he moved in. Granted, I'm asexual, so I don't feel that kind of attraction, but my cat is *still* a non-negotiable. It sounds like he's brought this up a few times and faked being fine with her choosing to keep the cat. A bit worried that OP's cat will 'run away' eventually. Update: So OP dumped him and he said she'd be forever alone if she didn't change. Yeah. He's an asshole. And the kitty is such a cute fluff ball! Mark, you've been chosen by a *determined* cat. lol 2: Saw this somewhere else. Poor OP. His parents and sister are insensitive assholes, his sister especially. Good grief, this attitude that people can't be happy *and* single. He *had* his great love. *Leave him alone!* OP's family is well on its way to never seeing him or his kids ever again. 3: I'm with Tinymood115. If Steph is more comfortable having someone nearby as backup in case things turn ugly, what's the problem? He isn't even sitting at the same table! He's within sight but not necessarily close enough to hear what's going on. I think that's great of him. She knows someone's around but he's far enough away that she has to make her own decisions. Sure, it's a bit odd that she keeps asking OP to screen her dates, and she *should* work more at building her confidence so she can make those determinations herself, but that's something she needs to talk to her therapist about. From what's said here, OP is just being a good friend. 4: What, so OP is supposed to make herself sick just to satisfy her MIL's compulsions? MIL needs *therapy,* not compliance. What the hell is with the ESH and YTA comments? Maybe OP is trying to watch her weight. Some people feel sick from eating when they aren't hungry. My youngest sister is like that. She hates feeling pressured to eat, which happened sometimes at family gatherings when she was a teen because she's built like a bundle of sticks. Eating is hard and unpleasant for her. I think there might be a problem with swallowing or maybe something with her stomach. 5: Oh for the love of GOD. She's got three little kids to chase around, including a six-month-old! You know, the 'wake up in the middle of the night screaming for mama' age. Of *course* she's constantly doing chores! Her *husband* refuses to lift a *finger* to help! And he thinks a family dinner surrounded by other mothers was a good time to start complaining about her looks and energy level? I'm amazed he survived. Good grief. My dad's disabled, socially stunted, and dang near *hopeless* when it comes to most chores but he always *tried.* He was *there* for us. If he couldn't make Mom's day easier by picking up the chores, he could at least distract us kids. There are pictures of him reading old Hal Clement and Isaac Azimov sci-fi novels to me as a baby and toddler. I remember watching, completely entranced, as he played King's Quest on his PC Jr. I remember running into his office crying because one of my toy reindeer's eyes fell off and he dropped everything to fix it. That's being a *dad.* OP's husband isn't much better than a *sperm donor.*

[@semideadnat]

I fucking agree with the Story 4 judgment. You really hit the nail on the head and in my own comment I said “one person’s problem doesn’t make it everyone’s responsibility” which is coming from experience with someone who I once considered a friend. Like yeah there isn’t any harm with helping once in awhile but MIL should have gotten help and not enabling of her disorder.

[@kaykay8855]

Thank you, someone agrees with me on story 4. Op, cannot/should not force herself to eat if she’s not hungry. If MIL entire family, including boyfriend, knows about her ED, why haven’t they pushed for therapy? Op, or anyone else shouldn’t force themselves to eat to make sure MIL does. That can form into some kind of other ED, or causing someone to vomit up what they were forced to eat. MIL, needs therapy so that she can eat because what if a relative isn’t there with her? She can’t force a stranger to eat so that she can.

[@semideadnat]

@@kaykay8855 this, I’m so done with people voting OP the asshole when.

[@kaykay8855]

@@semideadnat When no one else, not even MIL son or boyfriend, is pushing for therapy. I get that it’s hard to get out of habits or the condition that MIL’s mother put her through, but her family is only enabling her.

[@Mistfall254]

Story 5 burn

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 4: NTA No one has the right to tell another adult when or when not to eat, no matter the situation unless they have medical degree or they are a nutritionist! OP's MIL is a doctor so she should be aware of the basic medical fact that the body needs food for calories to function. This is an ER doctor and she owes it to herself and any patients that come in for eating disorder issues, to get herself therapy or her own problems with food. Until she does that any advice she gives to patients come in for eating disorders is the advice of a hypocritical doctor! I will pray to Allah to help this woman on her journey.

[@Mewse1203]

98% this

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I wonder if those ESH/YTA hurt themselves from all that reaching they were doing. Overeating is really unhealthy too are they just expecting OP to be a bottomless pit or something? People have limits with food lol they’re nuts.

[@faithfuljohn]

read some of her comments on reddit and you'll see she's an AH. 1) She knew that MIL was coming home from a long day of work having not eaten 2) They had agreed that MIL was going to take her out to run errands after she got home 3) She ate at home before MIL got home 4) She knew MIL wouldn't eat if she didn't. She is not obligated to "help", but really she is definitely a selfish unkind human. Especially when you consider that even if her MIL got therapy, it's not like she would instantly get better.

[@JoC-mp6sf]

Story 5: the jackass husband wants a Stepford wife. She’s NTA. Good for her standing up for herself.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Ask him to start forking out the money for those salon visits and clothing sprees if he wants a change! Then she can start going every week, leaving him to watch the kids!!!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Good idea. Only it wouldn't work because "raising children is a woman's job. 🙄 Plus, he's probably too cheap to provide OP the money she needs to look like the trophy wife he clearly wants her to be. 🤣

[@mbyerly9680]

Story 5 was so upsetting I clutched my pearls and shivered in my cashmere sweater. That husband is so 1950s.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Story 3 NTA. I'd sure as hell take up any of my friend's offers of going with me on a first date with a person online! It's terrifying and having a friend there, especially one who knows self defense better than I do, can be needed so I don't get hurt, kidnapped, or assaulted. NTA at all!

[@AngelaVEdwards]

Story 4: I have struggled with weight for much of my life. One thing we are taught is to _never_ eat when we are not hungry. People who eat when not hungry usually have disordered eating habits, too. How is forcing a disordered eating situation on one person helpful to another person with disordered eating?

[@sailorstar3148]

It doesn’t help it only enables the eating disorder further and MIL will still have that unhealthy mindset that “she’ll eat if someone else eats”those Reddit’s failed to realize how unhealthy that is.

[@Amelia073]

This is absolute bs. Eating a small amount when you’re not hungry is NOT an eating disorder. Placing ridiculous restrictions on eating IS an eating disorders. MIL clearly has a terrible ED and needs help, but the idea that it’s better for her to faint than have OP eat a small bite is objectively wrong. OP is not going to worsen MIL’s issue by making a small concession so this very sick woman will eat.

[@Mspryce4]

My little princess Jessie passed away on Friday, she was a little shitzui, identical to your little poppy. Miss her so much. She was a big part of our family and the thought of others undervaluing her life and disrespecting her is something I would never tolerate. Cherish your pets, there love comes without conditions, unlike some humans.

[@Mewse1203]

I'm so sorry.

[@BruinPhD2009]

My condolences to you and all the people that knew and loved your Jessie.

[@Mspryce4]

@@Mewse1203 Thank you. Much appreciated.

[@Mspryce4]

@@BruinPhD2009 Thank you so much.x

[@Cell287]

My deepest condolences. I know the hurt of the loss of a beloved pet.

[@Buff_Helpy]

Mark actually made his avatar eating waffles? GOD IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!

[@catandrobbyflores]

This is why we don't skip the initial waffle!

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

@@catandrobbyflores Exactly

[@hesherette]

ugh anyone else getting "future cheater" vibes off the pilot husband in the last story? the woman had his 3rd child just 6 months before he tore into her appearance "not being ladylike enough" in front of HER family, jfc!

[@ladyv5655]

Not "future cheater". He's probably already cheating and comparing the OP with his side chicks.

[@hesherette]

@@ladyv5655 Right??! Totally realistic + then his excuse will be "oh but my wife let herself go I TRIED to tell her". I'm glad she clapped back at husband!

[@Kris-wo4pj]

She needs to just divorce him. She'd get money from him, maybe the house or atleast money from the house and atleast wkends off from the kids. She'd just have to go back to work. Then he can sleep with all his coworkers who probably think hes gross and actually be useful and an actual father.

[@1978honore]

Story 3: NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA I actually read this on Reddit this morning and I was so so so confused by the comments. OP wasn’t "forcing" her to have a chaperone. Friend was fully aware of and on board with what was going on. OP wasn’t sitting at the table, third-wheeling the date. He isn’t being rude to the dates. He even says "I and another friend sit at another table in the same restaurant, pretending like I don’t know her." The damn dates don’t even know he is there! I would be thrilled and love it if my friends, male or female, did this so I can relax a little knowing someone I trust is around to watch my back. (I had to give up on dating and being social when my agoraphobia spiraled out of control 13 yrs ago. I’m only 43.) NTA, gf is just being a jealous cow. OP isn’t "screening" her dates. Providing safety isn’t "babying". Maybe Steph, no matter how many times or how badly she is hurt, will continue to be naive. Some people are just this way. Steph is talking to these guys online, deciding if she’d like to meet in person, where meeting should be, etc etc. OP is not doing any of this for Steph so he isn’t "overseeing" her romantic life and Steph IS being independent and thinking for herself. Why is it wrong for Steph to have someone around to watch her back when she is meeting someone in person for the FIRST time? Answer: it’s not wrong, it’s being smart and safe. My comment stands - gf is being a jealous cow. Buy hey ask Steph, "Do you like knowing I’m around for the first dates?" pretty sure she’ll say yes! Edit to add info from actual post: OP said in a comment that he is just there for the first dates nothing after that. So literally the first in person meeting.

[@jaywan5553]

Last story - ‘being sensitive lately’ is a symptom not a cause. You’re not being too sensitive - you’re perceiving what is around you which seems to be judgement and criticism from your husband. He’s the AH through and through and gaslighting you so I’m assuming he’s an AH quite often and turns it around on you a lot.

[@sophiaann8918]

Dang Mark, that cat really pulled a "Here's Johnny!" From the Shining movie huh? 🤣

[@andredunbar3773]

LoL

[@zerobolt9506]

Ha

[@aliciairis2157]

Last story: “he wants me to go to the salon and go shopping for new dresses.” Sounds like he wants you to spend more money, hun. I would do it, there’s a whole other subreddit for this kind of thing. Malicious compliance

[@dianathum6420]

My thought, too! Agree with him, thank him for a wonderful idea, make a nice long appointment at the spa for the full works and make sure he has the kids while you are out being pampered. Oh, and go shopping for a glam new wardrobe when you are done with your spa treatment. And to maintain your lovely, expensive manicure, don’t do any cooking or cleaning after that. For maybe a week.

[@D-Dollie]

She should also get a full time housekeeper and a full time nanny and go her merry way pampering herself.

[@catandrobbyflores]

I'm going nta for the food story. You don't stuff yourself because someone else won't eat unless you do. The mil should have got a handle of her disorder long ago to avoid situations like this.

[@Mewse1203]

Especially since she's a doctor!

[@wmdkitty]

It's not a disorder, she's a manipulative POS who uses food to control others.

[@Mewse1203]

@@wmdkitty it's an eating disorder....that's part of the pathology for some people.

[@AFAskygoddess]

No one expected OP to "stuff" herself. OP could have sweetly said that she wasn't very hungry, but would take a bite of MIL's food . Then OP could have had a loving and supportive conversation with her MIL. But OP would rather spend her time b!ching about this on reddit than spend time helping a relative (who is providing a roof over OP's head) overcome an eating disorder.

[@catandrobbyflores]

@@AFAskygoddess so just because someone gives you a place to live you have to make yourself sick and enable an eating disorder because FaImLy? Hell no.

[@sammyk.6457]

I call my dog “dumb ass” but he’s intelligent and so lovable. He knows I love him and he’s become closer since my other dog passed the other day, he’s cuddling me right now actually

[@jennilynne1977]

I call my dog stupid, but right after I do that I tell him that he's a VERY smart dog, but he can be stupid sometimes, just like me. Lol.

[@cheeriomartinez]

I call my cat an asshole but I still love her. Some of these people are just so damn dramatic.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I've heard people playfully call pets assholes, obnoxious, annoying, stinky, and bossy, but never worthless.

[@notevenlistening6072]

I call my cat "Mittens" when she's naughty, as in, I will turn her into mittens.

[@Sylphella]

I call my cat a lot of little nicknames, like silly or stinky boy, and occasionally say he's being a little crackhead (as I'm tying this he's climbing the window like it's a tree) but I also call him my beautiful baby, and "my little son, the light of my life" because he means so much to me.

[@rosealicia1782]

Story 1: who needs an SO when you have a lovable, loyal and very floofy companion who loves you unconditionally? OP will never have to worry about being alone. Story 3: Personally, if I were meeting a guy for the first time that I met online- I would want a trusted male friend in the area, absolutely. That and (for me at least) ask for an outside opinion which I do take into consideration. Perhaps there could have been subtle red flags I hadn't picked up on, or if they felt weird vibes (Soemtimes people who seem fine/cool can give certain people bad vobes and later turns out the 'nice guy' ends up being on the receiving end of the law). But that's where I draw the line. This would strictly be a 'first date basis' for the sake of safety, but that's just me. I don't agree with throwing her to the wolves (given the first guy she went out with) but she needs to know how dangerous the dating game can be and to learn and be aware of red flags and black flags that come with it. The friend also needs to learn how to listen to others when they're observing from a distance. They're your eyes in the sky, they're seeing more of the situation than you are. _Listen when they say something to you._

[@brigidtheirish]

Story 3: Agreed! The girl needs help building confidence and having someone nearby but not hovering seems like the best help he can offer. It sounds like it's just the first date that he 'chaperones,' too.

[@rosealicia1782]

@@brigidtheirish Another thing I thought about maybe instead of the chaperone, why doesn't OP offer to go on double dates as helping their friend with their first dates. Would be nice for these guys to get to know their friends and it helps weed out the people who feel insecure about women having guy friends. Be like 'hey, a guy friend of mine and their gf want to have a double date? That alright?" when planning the date. You already have an out set in advance. You're not alone with a stranger/power in numbers. And if the guy checks out and everyone has a good time and at the end of it everyone gives the green light, yeah- go for it.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I don't think this is an AH situation. I don't think anyone in the situation is AHs. I don't see anything wrong with what he's doing. The girlfriend's reaction reeks of jealousy. OP and another friend are just getting dinner while the friend has her date. I don't think any of this is wrong, but I do feel OP is enabling Steph. It's fine to get opinions on potential mates, but it sounds like she is relying too heavily on OP. I don't think she's ready to date again. She has very little agency right now.

[@ashleyhudson8253]

Story 3: this 100% I don't understand all these comments that OP is the AH because he agrees to be there for his friend. Is her family babying her and there for she is naive maybe IDK for sure, I don't know the situation. but why is it that just because she is nearly 30 that should be totally ok meeting with people from the internet alone. I'm nearly 30 and if I were to start online dating I would be asking my brother to be on standby for the first 2-3 dates just in case.

[@dingoatemychild1]

the comments in the first story annoyed the shit out of me they are acting like the cat understood him its a damn cat so what if he doesnt like it? hes shown that he will put up with something he doesnt like just for her people are actually fucking stupid lol

[@selinesbeau]

Why don't people get that you can be happy single too?

[@Jared12G]

Story 5: amazing how being a stay at home mother isn't considered working. Child care and house work for 16 hours a day is working!!

[@LadyWolvie82]

Adding to this, but I think he's cheating on her.

[@SneakySalamander13]

I just noticed the "My name is Mark" eating a waffle pic at the beginning and it is now my favorite thing. So cute! (I usually don't look at the screen as I listen to these while doing other things.

[@AngelaMerici12]

Right!! Is soo cute!! ❤️

[@digit5465]

Same here! Only found out last video, its just too pure!

[@crem-crem4070]

I’ve been calling the cat that pops into Mark’s house Waffles in my mind

[@micahpatchen1538]

OMG that kitty has GIANT paws!!

[@CharlesGriswold]

Story 5: Wow. Just wow. _She_ didn't make him look like a knuckle-dragging jerk in front of her family, _he_ did that all by himself. NTA

[@takkycat]

Do you ever think some people have seen WAY too many sitcoms/high jinxes movies to the point they think this stuff actually works in real life? Example: surprise blind date romance…

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 5: OP is NTA and her very assholish husband wants her to be a Stepford Wife. I suggest OP divorce him so he can find that mythological creature.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The last story is definitely the husband completely in the wrong. OP is overwhelmed raising 3 kids by herself. It makes me feel good to look good, but for some women when they are overwhelmed their looks are the last thing they are concerned with

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Story 1: Why is it insane to pick a pet you've been with for years than a person you barely know? If he is willing to say that to your animal, what is stopping him from saying it to OP? How would he feel if the roles were reversed. I'm glad OP picked kitty over that ass. Story 2: Why can't OP be happy and single? He can be happy and enjoy his kids. My BIL is 30+ and single happily living with us. He doesn't need a SO to have a happy life Story 3: Why can women chaperone other women and not men can't? He is a friend willing to help out when she needs it and he's just having a beer and a chat with a friend somewhere else in the bar Story 5: Malicious Compliance: stop doing everything except the childcare and start buying fancy dresses and make up, nails and the works just not for him. Do things to make yourself happy, then see what he thinks. OP scaled back on those things to do what was necessary for their child and their home

[@gabrielmeth4844]

People > pets, unless you are a psychopath. Misanthropia being tolerated is ridiculous. As for story 3, there is a difference between hearing about a person and screening them, and BEING there as a fifth wheel. I would consider such a thing a massive red flag. Its not like you are at a bar with your friends and someone approaches, this is an active sign of distrust that no one should need to deal with from a prospective SO.

[@kemonono]

@@gabrielmeth4844 As I am now your definition of a psychopath, I would happily throw out a human if my animal was in danger.

[@notevenlistening6072]

@@kemonono Hello! I am also a psychopath according to this criteria, lol. He doesn't seem to understand that real psychopaths don't value human OR animal feelings/lives. Also, it's not misandry, it's misanthropy. The boyfriend wasn't discarded for being male, but for being a tool.

[@brigidtheirish]

1: Agreed. I'm particularly concerned about his repeated mention of getting rid of the cat. 2: Also very much agree. 3: I know, right? Most guys would be a lot more useful for intimidation factor if the date got belligerent. He's not breathing down her neck, either. He's at a completely separate table acting like the friend and date don't exist. 5: That could backfire so easily. Agreed that hubby needs a wake up call, though. Honestly surprised he *survived* that dinner.

[@gaxalee7392]

People who hate animals that much as to say something like that with such a cold, heartless tone are typically the types of people who think their hatred of something is an excuse to be abusive. Hate the cat? Abuse it. Hate this tv show my SO loves? Verbally abuse them until they feel too ashamed to watch it. Hate kids? Verbally or physically abuse them. If this guy is given no consequences each time he does such awful things, his behavior WILL escalate.

[@RSARYR]

Story 2: some people just don't want to be with another person after their one and only love of their life is past away. Some people just feel like they have already experienced the type of love that happens once in a lifetime and that's enough. His love and devotion for his one and only love of his life is beautiful. No one should be pressured to simply move on like it's an easy task. He raised his kids as a single father and they turn out great. He didn't need anyone else because without his first love, there shouldn't be anyone else. His family needs to leave OP alone.

[@lancerevell5979]

"Putting your life on hold..." This is so pretentious! OP is living his life as he sees fit, with his kids. He doesn't need a "partner" to validate his life in his sister's eyes. OP is absolutely NTA. Sister is.

[@BruinPhD2009]

This is so true! Last year, a good high school friend of mine lost his wife of over 30 years. We’ve talked a lot since then and he said he may be open to dating at some point, but he can’t even imagine such a thing right now. Out of our high school friend group, we all thought he would be the last one to settle down (he was the wildest), but when he met his wife, he was the FIRST one and theirs was an amazing relationship. If he never “moves on” the rest of us would understand because she was just also a wonderful friend to the rest of us.

[@pippo17173]

People need to know what space is. Like the fuck it sounds like the family is trying to make op forget his dead wife and let him take a good long grief. We seen so many stories on reddit how horrible of a situation is for other people who had parents moving on so fast and forcing them to call them family. This here is on the opposite being that the family and sis are acting like assholes.

[@wmdkitty]

Some people are missing out on life, then.

[@carolroberts4614]

I was annoyed about the "putting his life on hold" He's leading the life he wants, and is bringing his children up well. Even they wouldn't go along with the interfering busybody sister!

[@marinam3809]

Mark’s stray cat situation sounds like what happened to my grandparents. A cat showed up on their doorstep, they fed it, now she has a 3 story heated house in their garage and all the love she could want. Her name I Muff.

[@scottmcloud257]

"I once had the best." My mom said the exact thing about my stepdad and never thought about dating after he died.

[@cu-8190]

my abusive biological father made my mother bring our cat to the shelter some 15 years ago when i was a kid. she still cries whenever thinking of that cat. i wish we could have kept him and kicked that horrible excuse for a human out back then. he ended up leaving anyway a few years later

Crazy cat lady here; 15/10 would throw a man in the curb over a cat. NTA; what he said to Millie was scary and I'd be anxious to leave the two of them alone, we don't know what he might do to her out of spite. I'm glad this guy won't be able to do anything to Millie now. Edit: Mark, this cat adopted you lol

[@Neighbor-assistantYN]

The guy who wants his wife to look good all the time would really get annoyed with me. I'd say: Oh, I'd love to get a full spa treatment with nails done, go shopping and look amazing. However, I was unaware you wanted me to look good for strangers and give them a chance to stare or flirt. Your next off day would be a great day to watch the kids so I can pamper myself. I'll schedule the appointment tomorrow.

[@madisonl3401]

The cat coming into Mark's house sounds so sweet! I love when cat's adopt their family. Cat tax please!

[@starwarriorterra8373]

Story 4: Enabling EDs is NEVER the "kind" thing to do! What?! This poor MIL needs therapy, and people should be empathetic to her situation, but they are NOT obligated to bend over backwards, eating past full to continue to encourage her unhealthy view on food. It is her battle, not everyone else's.

[@kelliemullin8504]

I love how the cat just decided that your house was sometimes going to be their house 😂. That's how you get a cat, congratulations

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

S3 NTA. As someone who grew up extremely sheltered and naive, it would have been helpful to have someone I trusted point out real life iterations of red flags instead of just red flag theory. I'd have just not told my friend about the date if I was too afraid to tell them no. Having grown up the same way as the friend, I'm confident saying OP is NTA.

[@Musiyca]

Story 5: Since the wedding in the family is incoming and the husband wants her to take care of herself, OP should doll up for the party and go alone while husband stays home with kids. Because there's no way a 6 month old should be at a wedding with a toddler and a kid. Nope. That ahole can finally look after his kids. Or you know, OP can take care of kids and herself, but stop doing housechores. Maybe when husband comes to a house full of dishes and laundry piling up and a georgous smelling wife he would see where and why OP puts her priority in, like come on man. Husband needs to start acting up like a partner and a parent, not an ATM. The kids won't really care about his wallet later on, they will miss a father instead.

[@johnnagustafson9996]

Story 5.... The OP should take hubby up on the selfcare offer. She deserves a day or two a month to take care of herself....hire a babysitter and go to the spa, have lunch with a friend and do a bit of shopping.

[@dune3001]

When will people understand that pets are FAMILY?! I will never chose a stupid human over my cat, no matter what.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

As it should be. That’s your baby.

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

A person literally commented to me about their life story in order to disprove my point. Like, how can you say you miss your dog five years later after their death AND say your dog was your best friend but act like your loving said animal is inferior to loving a human? I called them out on that bs.

[@SeattleMommy8338]

Story 1: calling a pet f*** worthless is not being playful. It means he doesn’t think Milly has any worth on this earth. He sounds insecure, immature, and sociopathic!

[@stephjovi]

So true. And he's not her human he wouldn't be allowed to even play fully (which it wasn't) call her names. Sure I call my cats little a holes all the time, when they do smth to deserve it. But I say it in a sweet or sad voice depending what they did. And than tell them how much I love them. I'd never date anyone who tells me to rehome my cats

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 3: NTA. It's for her safety. Those who have been in abusive relationships are more likely to end up in more abusive relationships. The sheltered lifestyle is actually making it worse. She should also start seeking counseling in order to overcome this and start being able to see the red flags herself.

[@LadyQuotes]

I am single and in my 40's. My family's cool, but it comes up occasionally and it infuriates me. Like what makes you happy won't make everyone happy.

[@stephjovi]

Same 42 single and happy about it. I enjoy life with my cats don't need a partner. I've been single for so long I wouldn't be able to handle a relationship anymore

[@VivPhotography]

I'm just picturing the cat breaking into Mark's house 😅Sounds like a great cat 😀🐈

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Story 3. NTA your a great friend, and it really is dangerous out there for a woman or girl. You save her from petitionally getting hurt or r a p e d by being there.

[@elysiasfield9828]

Coming from someone who is sheltered I wish I had a friend like this...I might not have been 37 and STILL single if I had someone like that!

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. Don't get the crap about 'white knighting.' You never know what someone you met online will be like when you meet in person. And it's not like he's hovering over her. He's not even at the same table!

[@Icalasari]

@@brigidtheirish Reddit gets like that at times, unfortunately

[@brigidtheirish]

@@Icalasari Yeah. I have noticed a distinct tendency toward treating men like scum by default.

[@1978honore]

Story 1: NTA I have 3 cats that I’ll say "you are do dumb. Good thing you’re so damn cute!!" The difference? Tone. I don’t say it with malice. She needs to be careful if she wants to continue coming home to Millie b/c that dude is going to dump the poor baby somewhere. Edit after update: Yay! Millie helps calm OP down and loves her through hard times. Much better than that boyfriend. If some dude said me or the cats, I’d help him pack lol.

[@everdreamcosplay]

Story 2 - I'm happily single and always have been. I'm disgusted about the implication that he must be miserable as a single dad. If he wants to date he will, and the constant pushing will only make him frustrated.

[@mishratheforsaken]

My big hang up on that story is the guy literally: grew up with (from like the age of 1-2), impregnated (twice), married, and outlived his wife before he was 21. That's REALLY young to have multiple life milestones checked off, and to have decided "nope she was the one and only. I won't ever consider anyone else"

[@everdreamcosplay]

@@mishratheforsaken but pushing him is just going to make him dig his heels in harder. One of the things he may not want is just the hassle of a relationship while raising his kids. Ultimately, he is the only one who can decide what us best for him, and others telling him they know better is insulting. I think he may need some grief counseling to process (although hard to tell from the context, but in general helpful to someone dealing with such a traumatic loss), but his family insisting on pushing him to date is irritating, useless, and rude.

[@catherinejones5723]

Their is n o t h I n g wrong with being single. To many young adults dive into relationships straight from school. Not healthy. They jump to the next relationship without a break. Sad. Have a full rounded life work relationships, social and family. Have time for your interests not just other peoples. Just saying. Look after yourself.🤗

[@Book7BrokeMyBrain]

"ladylike" HA She should point out that "Ladies" had staff to raise the children, clean the house, cook the meals, maintain the grounds, so the Lady of the House could be fresh as a daisy whenever the Lord came home. Sounds like a good deal to me. He needs to step up and fully staff his manor for his Lady.

[@animatorstanley]

You want me to get rid of my cat? Hahaha! Oh wait, you're serious? Let me laughing even harder! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[@ellellim]

story 3, people usually talk out of their own experiences. I, particularly, would love to have a friend as a support when going on a date with a stranger. But I`m from another culture, another age group, with a completely diferent past. IMO he is right, if the friend really didnt want him there she wouldnt even tell him about the date...

[@helenlewis2510]

Last story op should give the husband all 3 kids on his days off and treat herself to a spa day, for real

[@Oshidorinohina]

girlfriend needs to put her foot down about her cat. "The cat stays, don't mention rehoming her again because I will never consider it." that's it. end of story. if bf won't drop it then drop him, it means he doesn't and isn't willing to compromise and wants things his way and the cat might just wind up "missing" when she's away. I remember another reddit story similar to this but the BF took the OPs cat without her permission and gave it away- or did something with the kitty. He said that he gave it to his sister i think. OP made a point to say she loved her cat and wanted it back and had tried looking for it, but clearly was too infatuated to really do anything to get her cat back in the end. She will wind up regretting her decision when it is too late.

[@Coira2]

Story 4: pandering to the MIL's unhealthy relationship with food will do her no favors. Yes, it would have been easier to have a snack so she would eat, and I'd argue that grocery shopping isn't the place to have a serious talk about her eating habits, but I dont think you're an AH for not forcing yourself to eat so she will. Edit for story 5: who's gonna watch the kids and keep up with the chores while OP is at the salon and shopping? If he wants her to have time to do those things, he has to give her the time to do them. Husband is a moron.

[@Mewse1203]

Thank you! Those comments saying she could have "been kind" no nothing about mental health and especially eating disorders. That's not kindness or support. It is reinforcement and control. Her disorder doesn't get to dictate when others eat or not. That's why she's in the place she is in in the first place. Her mom did that to her and she's attempting to do that to OP and giving in will only reinforce that behavior. It may have been EASIER to eat, but what is right, isn't always easy. Nor kind

[@Coira2]

@@Mewse1203 It's even tougher when everyone else is so used to just going along with the behavior. The mom is going to have to want to change, and going along to get along is wrong. I really feel for the mom and OP, but it's ultimately not a kindness to reinforce that sort of disordered behavior.

[@ItachiUchiha-sh6of]

@@Mewse1203 I think most of the people saying they wouldnt thave eaten in ops position are capping. given the knowlege of ml problems, how much she had been working, that you could see she was struggling , and knew she wanted to eat I think more people than not, myself included, would have just nibbled on something small so she would eat. also its was unclear to me if she was driving or not, so for my own saftey id rather her not be cross faded while driving me around. That doesn't mean that you just keep letting her do this tho. obviously she need therapy and a family intervention is long overdue. So id say esh.

[@guernseydonkey17]

Story 5 - It makes me wonder if he's having an affair & tried to set it up that it's your fault for not looking after yourself to allay his guilt

[@honeybelle1203]

The second somebody brought up me possibly getting rid of my cats they're O U T, OUT! Nobody who dislikes my cats is a friend of mine! Mark, as for your new friend, I do believe you need to get them to a vet and check for a microchip or some sort of identification. I'm not sure what you mean when you say they have attitude, but I'm not sure if a feral kitty would willingly enter somebody's home repeatedly like that and hang around. Good luck to you both!

[@scifiwriter6092]

When my mother died, my father said that he would never seek out companionship. We went to grief counseling, and he always said that his Genny is a forever love.

[@bethb4432]

Mark - your “cat burglar” story made me smile so much! I needed that today.

[@wolfielawless1819]

I would rather have back up on meeting people online incase they turn out to be a creep.

[@Autumn4779]

Omg the new omojis? Character poses? Are freaking adorable never stop being you mark

[@missm.e9914]

I feel like that last guy is probably cheating on his wife while he's away at work and is now projecting his guilt, like "I cheated because you let yourself go" " because you stopped putting in effort" "you never pay attention to me anymore." Maybe I'm reading too much into it but I wouldn't be surprised.

[@DigitalCowboy000]

In the first story A. The boyfriend had thrown up numerous red flags BEFORE moving in. B. The boyfriend crossed the line with his comments to the cat. C. The OP is NOT the arsehole. D. The OP needs to reevaluate their relationship with the boyfriend. E. Cats & dogs understand a LOT more than the average person realizes.

[@legtemal7304]

Cats are pretty cool. I'm in the sad state of being allergic to them. Something I think the cats know tho since I always seem to get cats coming over to me and demanding back scratches. (Also laughing at the thought of Mark watching a cat break into his house)

[@lancerevell5979]

I am a dog guy and have mild cat dander allergy. Still, I have catsitted for my sister a couple times years ago, when she and BIL went on weeklong trips. One cat, an orange tabby named Football, bonded with me and was my little buddy til he passed. Her other cat remained aloof and standoffish. Yep, cats are family. BFs come and go.

[@random02735]

Story 4: I'm recovering from an eating disorder and working on slowly increasing my portions when it comes to food otherwise I get very sick with an overwhelming need to throw up if I eat to much suddenly. This is just to give a different pov and point out that eating when your not hungry or is already full can make you sick depending on the person. Which is why I think that OP is NTA, It's an unfortunate situation and that woman needs to get the proper help but I don't think it's fair to shift blame all on one person

[@CyanideSun94]

The first story reminds me of some ask reddit thread I've seen with a title like "people who's partner asked them to choose between partner and pet; how did your partner react when you choose your pet?"

[@sylvestercat1898]

Yeah I saw that too. My favorite story had to be the guy who worked at a shelter and a guy came in wanting to hand in the cat. As he was doing the paperwork he said, ‘fuck this’ and left with the cat. I hope he and his cat are happy.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 4: edit: big edit below. NTA OP doesn't have to gorge herself because MIL has an eating disorder. She needs help and that is not on OP. The boyfriend is a giant asshole who is blaming the wrong person. Edit: I am really angry at the comment saying "you should have just eaten to support her". That is all wrong and it wouldn't have been a kindness. It in fact is the worst thing you can do. It is NOT support for others to give in to their disorder. All it does is reinforce the behavior. By going along with their disordered behavior in your own life, you are not helping. You are showing them their behavior is appropriate or allowed to be forced on you. It is the crossing of a major boundary. They do not get to make choices about your eating, period. I spent 10 years living with someone with an eating disorder and I learned a lot about them from various hospital, therapy, and ED rehab stays my ex wife did. She did not have that particular Eating disorder, but they all share similar pathology. Eating disorders are a control disorder. It is a way for them to assert control over something usually stemming from trauma. Not all EDs require control of others, but some do. It's why you have people like MIL who basically "inherited" her disorder from her mom. My ex wife "inherited" hers from her mother as well. The parent has a disorder and uses their kid, spouse, and other family to attempt to assert control. It's most often kids because they don't really have the option of saying "No, I won't go along with this" like an adult and are not fully grown and set in their ways. Both of those make them easy to control. If you have the ability to say no, you take that option every time. There is no waffling on that. You are not responsible for their choices and it doesn't matter how much they've done for you. It isn't helpful for them even if it might be better in the short term. OP showed her MIL that MIL disorder will not control OP's bwhavior and that is a valuable lesson. It is on her to heed that lesson or not. Eating disorders are like drug addictions and many other mental health disorder. Yes, they come from the brain, but they can be worked on with a lot of hard work. The first step is to make a choice to be better, not force others into your pathology

[@wmdkitty]

MIL is CHOOSING to eat that way. She can easily CHOOSE not to. Just like drug "addictions", eating "disorders" are all about choice.

[@Mewse1203]

@@wmdkitty 100%

[@zashgekido5616]

@@wmdkitty Dear god this is what madness in the written form looks lime

[@simonO712]

@@wmdkitty Oh my god NO. I mean yes, it does boil down to choice in the end, but it is so much more than that. There is nothing "easy" about it. Saying they "just" need to choose not to do it is like saying a clinically depressed person "just" needs to "stop being sad". Their brain is actively working against them and trivializing that does way more harm than good. They need help, not being berated for not trying hard enough.

[@dianakosianka5344]

@@wmdkitty That's not how addictions or mental disorders work. OP should have been gentle with her and explained that she doesn't need other people to eat with her in order to eat, as well as offered to contribute more around the household or to connect her to a proper therapist who can help her out. She mentioned that the poor woman has had some trauma in her life and that she is also heavily overworked, so expecting someone to tackle an ED all alone is a horrible idea. I'm not even sure if OP even mentioned helping her out at all in the story. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. Addictions and mental disorders cannot magically be resolved by sheer 'willpower' alone. It takes work and positive outside support to change bad habits and have a good quality of life. It's also about brain chemistry as well. Having someone quit something "cold turkey" without offering any kind of help at all will always end in disaster - sometimes it even ends in death or hospitalization. As Mark had said, OP didn't have to "gorge" herself on a whole meal to get her to eat - she could have just had a couple of grapes or a KIND bar, for instance. It's a complicated situation overall, but I wouldn't bash the woman in her story or make light of her ED or claim that she was a controlling "POS", because as OP said, she's done a lot for the people in her life. This is a story that desperately needs some kind of update.

[@Avrysatos]

Story 2 is literally why I went to school 900 miles from home. Mom kept trying to fix me up.

[@ServiceEevee]

Listening to Mark while planning a DIY hamster cage. The best of both worlds!

[@Cocollyt]

WE WILL NEED UPDATES 🥺🐹

[@ServiceEevee]

@@Cocollyt So far we are in the room measurement and "which wood would fit the room" stage. But I hope to have a 76 (Long) 24 (Wide) cage for plenty of bedding and burrows. I'm thinking of incorporating a book case or storage system under the cage for hamster items that really need a new home other than in my closet (which I already share with my service dog).

[@takkycat]

@@ServiceEevee wow! You have some lucky critters!! I’m glad your not going down the “Critter Trails” route. They are terrible for little fuzzies!

[@ServiceEevee]

@@takkycat Right now I have a Prevue 528 but I just want something better for my Syrian hamster. Plus there really is no option other than DIY cages for my area (shipping restrictions).

[@BaneHuntress]

1st story: If the BF is jealous of a cat, god forbid she ever had kids with him O_O

[@joannentwistle-cruz1800]

Tell him if that cat turns up missing, you will re-home him.. And sue the crap out of him.

[@vanessasorth1657]

Watch out he does not want the cat. He wants to control you.

[@BlueAnimeCat21]

before even hearing the first story: NTA signed, a cat person ETA: mark wheres our cat tax on your guest???? 👀

[@CatAstridphe]

Story 4: I would have gotten a drink to sip and offered to share something with MIL, then taken a few nibbles of fries or a bite of whatever. I'd also be offering to help her with her disorder in conjunction with a therapist. Like eat with her, but eat less and less each time until she could eat on her own + therapy.

[@dianakosianka5344]

It sounds like you have the right idea- gentle support and a way to nudge her out of her unhealthy eating disorder

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Story 1: Some how I can't even hear the phrase 'you're so fing worthless' when addressed to an animal as anything but a complete & totally massive red flag. That BF needs to go. She's going to regret it if she lets him stay... and it's not going to end well. (NTA) Even when a cat is being an ahole itself, ... that phrase is only said by those whom have malice in their hearts to the animal. NO one else would say that, even when they couldn't give a shit if the cat lives or dies either way would say that. --------------- Even Those who buy food animals to feed to a snake or a spider, or what not... that are planning to basically raise to only feed to another animal, couldn't even say that phrase to the food. The only time 'normalish' people say that to 'animals' are those that are in the pest class, & have introduced many a home problem... but even then.... It's normally done with the cost of alot of pain already done to them, and really only with ALOT of hate and even then...... it's not even common to be said like that. ================ Story 5: NTA ... my SIL literally has 3 kiddos (all fem) that are literally 2-3 years apart... and I know my brother busted his ass off to help... and frankly she looked liked a fucking zombie after the third kiddo. I know my brother did what he could.. but diggity damn she looked a bit ....... worn down like having a 2yr old, a toddler & a 5 months yr old is a nightmare scenario of motherhood. (SIL worked, where she could for the first & kid, but 2nd & beyond that went out the window, and my brother busts his ass to help... and even him & me butt heads massively on some topics, but I could never & would never accuse him of not being their for his wife & kids.. might mock him from time to time for not getting enough sleep or free time, but it's never anything more then brothers poking eachother) I'd look at her husband and seriously question why he looks so put together & fresh, then ask him if he does anything in the house to help? You can tell the parents of 2-3+ kids... They Look as if energy left them. X.x da faq is wrong with him? He needs a reality check, and it's kinda sad how he thinks he's doing more work. XD (I'm even one who may not entirely believe stahp do as much as they claim.. buttttt that tends to change on 2-3+ kids, and even more so when they are less then 5, 10 & 12..... though that changes massively with ... our current set of stupidity in regards to education & healthcare panic It only gets more intense -- aka, I'd rather work 12's 4 days a week. & toss in extra day.. then to be the stahp when it comes to 3 kids, home school, the stupidity of the regulations, & exceptional over reactions still given by people, and the sheeer amount of stupid in new policies now...)

[@HaleyJo1992]

I disagree with calling OP the AH for not eating when MIL wanted to eat. I have very disordered eating from severe health issues as a kid. I would never expect someone to cater to it, would in fact feel horribly guilty if they did. NTA

[@sammicunniam3992]

I always made sure to tell someone, where I was on first dates. Actually on my last first date, i'd actually been out with the friend and she stayed around incase I needed her since it was an internet date.

[@debdoug4136]

That last one...the nerve. So her job is 24/7 but she needs to make time to be hot? When was her last day, hour, minute off to do that? Husband ita. Therapy if not divorce.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

As soon as op finds out his sister is trying to set him up, he should bring a single friend for the girl. Repeate until sister backs off, or the become the best matchmaking service in the area. Start charging for it, and start a blind date empire.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

Last Story: NTA, wtf, husband is very superficial…he chose one of the most inappropriate times to criticize that “his wife isn’t pretty enough for him.” He does not know what the definition of being ladylike is. I mean does he really want a wife that will blow all of his money on clothes, make up, hair dyes, and trip to the salon? All that crap is expensive and God for bid a woman wants to be a little more comfortable with her appearance and not waste a bunch of money on materialistic crap she might not be into. A woman making herself beautiful takes a lot of effort and considering Op’s husband is dumping all the childcare and housework onto her it’s no wonder she’s too exhausted to make herself look like a cover girl for her husband, let alone skip around the house being all bubbly and energetic. He definitely has some misogyny, just because the wife is choosing to be the stay at home parent that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t do diddly squat to contribute to the household and the child care. It’s called being a partner. It’s funny how he was the one like what what possessed you to go off on me like that” wow the disconnect. Innocent advice it doesn’t involve humiliating your wife in front of family.

[@sammieh9695]

No one can tell you how long you need to mourne, how long it takes to move on or if you ever will be ready. Your heart is broken and only you will know if/when you're ready

[@LeeLeesBanter]

Major red flag on that first jerk. If he can be like that with a defenseless animal, what's he gonna do if you have a baby? Yipes!

[@Evie_Jeebies]

Can I just say that I absolutely love these new avatar poses. The clueless-looking one especially made me chuckle.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 5: NTA - You're absolutely right to go off when he provoked it. What changed is he's not pulling his weight. So what he makes the money? That doesn't make him any less a parent when he's not at work. Especially when he went off again in the car, I'd have clapped back a second time. When's your time off? When, exactly, is he expecting you to get all dolled up for him if he isn't even there to give you a break? Why would you even want to bother to give, give, give when he's not giving you an ounce? Ugh. Turn off.

[@carmenbarrera80]

#1 NTA that poor little Cat, has no one else but OP. OP needs to think if her BF really it's worth keeping, that's HER home come on. Please don't get rid of a animal who love you just for a man /woman they feel the pain of abandonment from their owners. I have cats and I love them they are sweet independent and smart.

[@Dannygoblin]

Marks character eating a waffle is exactly what I needed today The updated character avatars are a really nice touch/attention to detail!

[@jeaniebee3657]

i told my boyfriend before he moved in with me to remember my cat has been around long that he has so never ask me to choose between them because he wouldn't like the answer lol but he loved my cat so there was never an issue lol

[@Icalasari]

The fuck are the YTA votes in Story 4? She's selfish for... Having a healthy relationship with food? That woman needs therapy

[@micheleosullivan4430]

Story #5. I was a SAHP for a while. We had three young children and the cost of daycare exceeded our income. Anyway, My hubs would come home - take the baby and I'd get a shower and do my own thing for about an hour. He also did 30-40% of the housework - a bit during the week and more on the weekends. He had a work buddy tell him he was p-whipped because I didn't have anything else to do all day but take care of the house. This d-bag said it in front of me (looking right at me) after inviting him to dinner while his wife was away... I stayed quiet and refused to engage or indulge in his comment. I and my x had our issues but this was one time I was his cheerleader. He looked right at him and said "her job never ends - she's with three young children daily. It doesn't end there, because she is up at all hours of the night with a teething baby. My 6:30 am to 4 pm job is EASY compared to what she goes through on a daily/nightly basis. Just because my paid job ends at x-time, my family job does not,

[@carmenbarrera80]

Happy Sunday everyone. Hello Mark

[@megannason3649]

People seem to not understand that it is okay to be single and you can actually be happy.

[@clairebear-96]

Story 4: op is not responsible for the mum’s eating disorder and she shouldn’t be held responsible for an adults actions, but also! I have similar issues to the mum, it’s extremely hard to be the only one eating, and it really wouldn’t have been that hard for OP to have a piece of fruit or something, so mum would feel comfortable enough to eat - after a 20 HOUR shift, while she’s taking you shopping! Jesus christ like yeah she’s not responsible for mum, but come on lady show some compassion