r/AITA I Want A Member Of My Wedding Party To Cover Her Neon Hair! With Update

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "When you're friends with someone it means you accept them for who they are" and it also means that you're willing to communicate and compromise for a day to celebrate one of the biggest days of their life. It's not like OP is asking them to cut it or dye it a different color completely. She just wants them to cover/style it for photos which I don't think is entirely unreasonable especially since she's offering to pay for anything friend buys to do so. Even then, Op admits she's willing to accept if friend says "no" and find a different solution. I sense some intense projections from that last comment.

[@katieboler5806]

I agree. It was a big “give me a break” response for me 🙄

[@magnumsteel9770]

Reading back, how much you wanna bet that last comment was actually that friend that found the post and put 2 and 2 together?

[@mananexus]

And to add insult to injury she didn't even get her hair touched up before ops wedding. Looking back I believe she did it on purpose and op had every right to be mad.

[@lewisqb12]

Right?

[@lewisqb12]

@@mananexus that’s what I keep thinking like you get asked to be a bridesmaid and suddenly decide yea lemme dye my hair a wild ass color and tell no one before. That’s gonna be ok totally. Who does that? Or thinks like that. It’s insane

[@amazinglynn]

“Why is this sub so weird about weddings?” * Proceeds to be weird asf *

[@AngelaMerici12]

I thought the same 😆🤣🤣!! But what can we do? 😂

[@lily-zg6io]

Like man over there should do gymnastics with all that reaching

[@notevenlistening6072]

This was the first thing I thought. So over dramatic about a bride valuing her aesthetic plan.

[@crazeeaz]

Why is everyone so weird about weddings? Anyway, you clearly hate your friend and are a terrible person; practically a batman villain. I'm surprised you can even look at yourself in the mirror.

[@ps.a.5171]

Actually friends are the only ones you can feel comfortable enough to ask this.

[@quinnthefox3846]

That one YTA comment about how the bride is "ashamed" of her friend really pissed me off. I'm afab and have short, masculine-cut hair and often dye it vivid blues and purples and the occasional green. I love my hair but I also understand when people have something as important as a WEDDING would want a color scheme. And my vivid colors may clash with that, and as long as they don't ask me to wear a wig or dye it back to natural, I'm entirely happy with covering it if need be and would completely understand if they wanted to edit the photos.

[@FlashQuatsch]

Yea, it sounded like that person has had some judgemental people in his or her past, so any type of people not wanting vivid hair dies may seem like a personal attack.

[@MaskedLark]

Yeah they took that so personal and projected so much.

[@GMAMEC]

That was a bit much.

[@Nezzy750]

Just imagine being that person who shows up the bride because your neon hair and how it “identifies” you is more important. These ppl really are narcissists who only think about themselves.

[@PathIsntReal]

The last comment for Story 1 before the update has to be from one of the most sensitive people on the entire planet. Wow. Love these videos but sometimes these reddit people drive me crazy.

[@thedestroyasystem]

For real. I was ready to go all YTA on OP, but they’re proposing several possible compromises and their request doesn’t seem unreasonable. IMO it would be like asking someone to not wear a neon dress, or shoes. As long as she’s not demanding they dye their hair a different color, it’s fine. It’s not about not “accepting” their friend, it’s about there being a time and place to wear attention grabbing attire, and a wedding is not the time. You can’t just take off neon hair like any other piece of clothing, but you can make it less noticeable, and that seem reasonable for one day.

[@leopardnosepaws]

Some Reddit responses piss me off. I get difference in opinions but holy shit that commenter sounds like a unpleasant to be around.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Yeah, like someone not liking someone’s hair choice automatically means they are ashamed of them. What a sensitive brat

[@gaxalee7392]

It’s not like Op’s body or scar shaming the friend. That person got to be pulling offense out of their ass to find a problem with, “hey, your hair is really bright and will stand out rather dramatically; would you be at all ok with wearing a hair piece or us having the photos altered?”

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@leopardnosepaws tbh, that commenter sounds like any of their friends have to walk on eggshells and glass just to not set her off with the most trivial things

[@Fake_gamer_cat]

The YTA consensus on the first one is mind blowing. Seriously, the OP was trying to be as polite as possible with this situation. The last comment just seemed like a lot of projection, seriously. They're just asking to cover their hair for one day. I have facial piercings and if a bride asked me to cover them up/hide them, (or even just wear something small) I'd do just that. It's not that hard. It's her wedding day, it's fine to want things the way you want them as long as you're not crossing the line and she wasn't.

[@miriam9419]

I know right, it got me so angry. Not wanting a photo to be ruined is different from being ashamed. I wish she got comments telling her to not be such a pushover.

[@saratronus]

"LiKe Oh My GoD I CaN't Be WiTh YoU BeCaUsE yOu HaVe SuCh BrIgHtLy CoLoReD HaIr 😒" lol Where in the posted it suggested That last commentary was so projecting

[@saratronus]

Oh my God I just finished listening to the update That friend did that on purpose to steal fucking attention Is anyone with expensive beautiful neon hair would maintain it because because it looks like crap if you don't maintain your dyed hair

[@lamp5256]

There are appropriate attires for each occasion. I just don't think unmaintained neon hair is appropriate or tidy for what I assume is a formal gathering.

[@little_lion_heart9850]

Right, what an absolute nut and dramatic fool.

[@ginger5131]

If someone was actively trying to watch me breastfeed in my own home (and this is deliberate, nobody should be looking in their yard/through their windows) I'd be calling the cops, that's insanely creepy.

[@shantellspeaker6293]

I was wondering why op didn't call the cops the first couple times come to their house. They're basically harassing op and her husband

[@nixxyhasthoughts]

Yep! As someone who can’t have bio kids, I found it really hard to be around pregnant people. I knew it was a me problem. I would never have told my neighbour not to engage in regular baby raising activities! And the first interaction abusing her calling her a bitch - how the living fuck was she supposed to know they were infertile?!

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

I definately think the neighbour needs therapy to cope with her infertility issues because it sounds like she isn't. What's next? Yelling at random parents as they walk past the house? I'm serious here - what's next? She's already displaying some very concerning (and illegal) behaviours already.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

OP can not force the woman to get therapy, but she and her husband can protect their family and call cops on them, file restraining order...not even joking or overacting, it is insane to deliberately look at someone's windows and backyard to catch them doing stuff..that is STALKING, and it could get worse, who knows lady can become violent even. Having traumas and problems does not excuse harassing people

[@dannietea]

That YTA determination in story 1 is wild as hell

[@PathIsntReal]

I just commented about that. Person not only sounds dumb but also extraordinarily sensitive. All that because you don’t want a literally highlighter in all of your WEDDING photos? That request is beyond reasonable.

[@dannietea]

@@PathIsntReal Plus it’s only one day. It’s not going to hurt anybody to wear a wig or something and OP wasn’t being a raging bitch and demanding she dyes her hair.

[@PathIsntReal]

@@dannietea reddit niggas can be some of the softest people alive. OP was being so nice about it too.

[@kerridwynntheacegoblin6465]

My eyes tried to escape, I rolled them so hard.

[@zerotodona1495]

Bet they got kicked out of a wedding party lol

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NAH there is no harm in asking her to cover up for their wedding. Honestly a good friend would already have anticipated this was going to be an issue and plan to do something to minimize the attention grabbing nature even before the bride has to make a request. Edit: that last comment is absolute nonsense. It's not shaming them at all. Where did that person even get that idea? OP has no problem with how she looks generally but during the wedding, all attention needs to be on the couple being celebrated so things that draw away attention should be minimized or eliminated. Asking her friend to cover up for one day strictly for her not to stand out on a day when the focus shouldn't be on her isn't shaming her. OPs personal preferences matter at an event she is throwing. This comment might as well be saying that you can't tell someone how to dress at a wedding because that means your ashamed of how they dress normally. It's ridiculous. Edit after update: I'm getting the feeling this "friend" isn't that great of one. She couldn't even put in the bare minimum of effort to make sure she looked OK for the wedding. Add to that the stuff about the mean and hurtful things she says and OP should think long and hard about this relationship and whether it is worth it. All in all a positive update, but the friend keeping her hair and not even getting her roots touched up bugs me especially when she didnso for her own wedding. That says she knows exactly how important was but didn't do it anyway. It shows a serious lack of care and consideration for OP in my opinion.

[@Jessidafennecfox]

I liked the bride decided to do black and white photos

[@bunnyslippers191]

If they really want to do that it would probably look better if *all* the bridesmaids wore their hair pulled back and the same type of head covering. Having just one person wearing their hair in such a distinctive style would make them stand out. Since the bride wants everyone to wear their hair in a particular way it would probably look better and more uniform if all the gals also wore the headband/scarf/whatever it is and the person with the neon hair wouldn't feel so singled out for how her hair looks.

[@ergotempusvernum]

I have a feeling that the "friend" was intentionally trying to ruin photos.

[@carolroberts4614]

I bet she was disappointed with the black and white photos, if she was hoping to stand out!

[@Barlmoro]

100% the friend was the AH and 100% was upset that the make black and white ones :D

[@annabellehe4307]

As someone who dyes their hair rainbow regularly I wouldnt give a fuck if they asked me to wear a headband or wig. Also a professional hairstylist should know how to make roots look good for a day

[@Nezzy750]

That friend is garbage. Leaving crappy roots for friends wedding but re-dying them to look good for her own. Classless.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: YTA whoa whoa whoa SOMEONE has some serious issues. She doesn't get to BAN him from anything. That's his son too. And what the hell is so gross about bathing a child in the sink? SHE was bathed in a sink, I guarantee it. She way overreacted and needs to get grip. Dad not only did nothing wrong, he was doing all the right stuff. You know when I first heard the title I thought "oh my God did he do something weird like touch him or wash him with poo?" The answer is NO, mom freaked out for literally no reason Op needs counseling and a parenting class Asap. Even if bathing in the sink was somehow inappropriate, her reaction was not. Imagine getting mad at your husband because he wants to take more duties on the care of your newborn. Like we literally every day have a story about a father who won't do Jack shit and these women beg and fight to get their partners to help. This story, this guy is begging and fighting to help more and the wife is telling him "no you're gross for wanting to help." Wtf lady

[@ohwow9769]

I thought the same thing as you did initially, like “oh was the sink filthy? Did he do it on the garbage disposal side?” But no, he was just doing what literally every parent does. How much do you want to bet that OP calls it “babysitting” when her husband is with the baby?

[@Mewse1203]

@@ohwow9769 lol, I wouldn't take that bet at all🤣

[@brigidtheirish]

I remember Mom washing my hair in the kitchen sink as a kid.

[@saratronus]

She's the kind of mom that those horrible divorce stories are about

[@jennysmith38]

The Op said that there were glasses etc on the sink, if he had moved everything, then yes, he has every right to bath the child in the sink, but he didn't move anything, I would have gotten a little upset that he wasn't thinking about what the child could have grabbed. Op could have said it better, and then just moved the stuff and let him finish.

[@joreyn7656]

Story 4 is wild. I have a baby and he literally will try to nurse from anyone who holds him against their chest. He's even tried this with men who hold him. Babies have no concept of these things. That lady is nuts and is in for a rude awakening when she has a baby of her own.

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

Children are hilarious before they learn differences.

[@robertx8020]

Poor baby (once it is born) I bet she will buy a piano for him and will get angry when he can't play it (I let you listen to it while you were in the womb and why can't you talk!

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

I think she's read too many "joys of motherhood" books to understand REALITY.

[@robertx8020]

@@DiscoTimelordASD That might be the case ..let's hope it's not too late :(

[@hello93617]

God forbid she has a son. Kid will grow up thinking he is a monster, or terrified to do anything.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 5: NTA. Get that restraining order, op.

[@indiashante1560]

Story 3: YTA Dad has just as much of a right to take care of their child as the mom. How dare she "ban" him from anything. That's a big red flag to me.

[@allisonwinchester3108]

She seems the type of mom to take the kids, lie to them, and keep them from their father out of spite.

[@elighabailey4019]

yall didnt listen that there was dishes and sharp stuff in the sink and near by, if he pit the baby in danger then you shouldnt be able to take care of them

[@mgaus]

@@elighabailey4019 y'all didn't listen that she was angry before that. And her reaction wasn't to say, "hey, please be more careful about safety" it was "I'm the baby dictator, you as father are worthless" OP is 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000% the a-hole

[@clairebear-96]

Story 4, “this is how predators start out” LMFAOOOOO if she’s about to have a baby she’d better get used to them looking at/grabbing every part of her body at any given time bc babies do NOT have a sense of personal space and if they want to stick their hand down your shirt or stand under your dress? they’re going to do it and you as an adult have a responsibility to respond in a calm mature way - not screaming at a literal BABY wtf is wrong with people

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

Yeah children like to push boundries but they don't know any better

[@wmdkitty]

At that age, you redirect their attention with something else they can grasp or mouth on. That said, it's never to early to start teaching about appropriate boundaries.

[@clairebear-96]

@@wmdkitty Yeah absolutely, I’m a toddler teacher so i’m always have to gently pull babies away from things they shouldn’t be grabbing, redirecting, or telling them we don’t touch others bodies like that. If you teach them consistently they’ll be pretty well-versed in boundaries by preschool/kindergarten :)

[@silver5515]

Lol, my toddler a few times wanted to help me wipe after going to the toilet. That was a firm no from me. They can lift the lid for me, they can grab me a new roll, they can flush, but I will do the wiping myself.

[@TheRaven_200]

“Why is this sub so weird about weddings?” Bro everything they said after sounded like huuuuge projection.

[@mindyschocolate]

Sounds like commentator was chucked out of a window.

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

Huge projection indeed and I hope that guy is not married.

[@Streetwisefirst]

Story 5: OP needs to get a ring door cam. Then after getting it the next time her neighbours come on her property tell she doesn't want to hear about them pushing their infertility issues on her family and tell them they are trespassing and what they are doing is harassment. I am truly empathetic of those struggling with fertility issues, but when they start to push their issues on others and try to control and dictate someone else my empathy ends. This couple basically wants OP and her son to live in the basement and never been seen by them. Op can'r access her back yard, and she can't even be on parts of her house. Also if I was OP I would call out Anna for clearly staring at or looking in my house.

[@indianspartan76]

Story 3: we get mothers complaining that the dad don't help. Here the dad is trying to do things and the wife tells him, "it's not his job?" YTA

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

That made me irrationally angry because I would have loved help from my husband, even if the task was completed in a way that was different than mine. OP is going to regret "correcting" her husband, because at some point he's going to church out in parenting and their marriage.

[@Passions5555]

She is sexiest.

[@indianspartan76]

Story 1: NTA. Never an AH just for asking. Also OP has compromises. If the person refuses to compromise at all, they'd probably be TA

[@Hamantha]

Not only that, but she had several alternatives thought out and a last resort that wouldn’t have excluded them from the wedding!

[@lux0rd01]

That last comment in story one: "Yta for'making your personal preference your friends problem' " Wouldn't this be exactly what the neon hair chick is doing to the bride? Idk what story that last person read but it wasn't the one the rest of us did

[@skeltonslay8er781]

Story 3: I remember having baths in the sink when I was little. As long as he cleans the sink first who cares?

[@Carla_Valjeta]

And if he cleans the sink after as well

[@SadEyes1412]

Yeah. Same

[@deramara]

Kitchen sink? Really? I don't know, I would never bath a child there. But she's the AH for the way she handled the situation.

[@DororoXPenana]

@@deramara it can be pretty common. It's a smaller area for the baby and wouldn't take as long to fill/drain as it would with a large bathtub. Once they get bigger then they get upgraded to bathtubs lol. But it comes down to the parent, they decide if they want to do sink or tub. But dictating and banning one parent from the job entirely is ridiculous and major asshole vibes 😑.

[@deramara]

@@DororoXPenana it can be common, but it is not sanitary. There are small tubs for babies, buckets and other options. Kitchen sink is a big no.

[@annaorbanes5070]

I bathed my kids and grandkids in the sink occasionally. It was fun. I took pictures, I thought it looked iconic!

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

Right?! They look sooo cute in the sink! 🥰

[@silver5515]

At the hospital they thought us to bathe the baby. In the sink. They did cover it with a towel tho, because metal is hard and cold to the touch. At home we used a baby tub, because the kitchen was too cold and the bathroom sink too small. We did sometimes use the bathroom sinks for emergency bottom baths, but soon learned it would be less messy in the shower.

[@sister_bertrille911]

I loved sink baths!

[@magnumsteel9770]

Did that one person in the first post not read it at all? They sounded like they're someone that just wants to be offended by anything, or disagreeing is attacking them. OP never said they were ashamed. They said that a brightly coloured hairstyle is so eye catching that it would take attention when you look back on them. This is fair not to really want for your own wedding. I'd rather a friend talked to me about a problem and we try figure something out together rather than they worry they'd hurt my feelings for something so small. It's their wedding and OP seemed like they were doing as best they could to be accommodating to everyone instead of being a bitch and telling people to do what she wants or leave.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

This! She's not saying "I can't go out in public with you looking like that", she's saying "hey it's my wedding, can you please keep attention on me and my new husband instead of you" but she's saying it without saying it by trying to be as kind as possible, and it's not even everyone else she worries about, it's herself in the future she worries about, she wants the first thing she sees to be the love between her and her new husband, not her friends crazy hair. My hair was blue until the night before my best friends wedding, I dyed it back to my natural color before the wedding because I didn't want her to have any regrets looking at her own photos in the future, I wanted her to be happy and not like "why would my best friend do that to me on such an important day".

[@andreawalker8343]

That and it’s such an easy fix!

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

It just sounded like someone who would show up to a wedding with rainbow colored hair, then be offended that the bride asked them to change it, or keep it covered. In reality they just want attention for their “look at me,”and my “not like other people” hair. It’s not unreasonable that the bride doesn’t want an eye directing color in their own wedding photos that draws the eye away from the bride. Honestly, if someone isn’t willing to at least compromise with a bride on their attention grabbing hair, then that person isn’t a good friend to have. I speak as a trained photographer, and someone who has extensive knowledge of color, and it’s psychological effects on people’s minds. The amount research that goes into marketing color study alone would surprise most people.

[@brigidtheirish]

Not to mention neon hair is more than a little obnoxious in a place where everyone is wearing formal attire. Would that person attend a board meeting wearing a coconut bra and grass skirt?

[@saratronus]

Is it just me or does it sound like the she got her hair dyed after being a bridesmaid / Invited To the wedding

[@melanellie_art]

Oh god, poor OP 1 got scared out of making their wedding perfect by the trigger happy comments. Yes we’ve seen posts in the past about bridezillas complaining over a persons natural hair color and asking them to dye it or wear a wig and that’s just facepalm levels of entitled. But that doesn’t mean there’s a hard and fast rule against hair color dress codes. There’s a limit to everything in life, nothing is black and white, this neon green mess of hair crosses the line.

[@Hamantha]

I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt she got scared. That pissed me off beyond belief

[@strudel_reviews]

The fact the "friend" didn't even bother to maintain her hair for the wedding I would have immediately said nope go home

[@Hamantha]

@@strudel_reviews yeah that’s just sloppy

[@strudel_reviews]

@@Hamantha like seriously how in the world do you have the whole audacity to dye your hair a bright neon yellow when your were in a bridal party and to not consult with the couple first and then don't even maintain it for your friends wedding but manage to touch it up for your own wtf

[@Hamantha]

@@strudel_reviews just a messy situation indeed

[@clairebear-96]

The last comment on story 1, talking about how asking her to cover her hair is telling her you’re ashamed to be seen with her - I don’t think so! I’ve had my hair pretty much every color and i LOVE it, but if i was going to be in someone’s wedding party/photos it’s just common sense to think “hey maybe they don’t want neon green hair in their otherwise neutral color scheme” I don’t think it’s as big a deal as that commenter said, no one I know of would take that so personally lmfao it’s literally just hair and not everyone wants neon green hair in their wedding photos! It’s not saying “i’m ASHAMED to be seen with you” or anything lmao, I would say NTA if the bride did want to ask her friend respectfully to cover her hair somehow

[@TsukiKageTora]

She couldn’t be that oblivious. She knew she stands out. She couldn’t even do the roots except for on her own wedding day. I’m assuming she has some jealousy towards OP and wanted to be tacky for her wedding to show off how her wedding would be better

[@clairebear-96]

@@TsukiKageTora Right! Roots growing out are sooo noticeable, she definitely had to do that on purpose for some reason - petty? jealousy? idk but either way i think op was justified

[@lily-zg6io]

right?? If the question had been asking the friend to dye their hair, or telling them to cover/cut their hair because the hair was too long, or telling them to cover a scar/burn (both have been seen in this sub) it would be different. I've seen some beautiful bridesmaid headpieces with updos and they can look very modern and elegant.

[@delilahbelle2125]

Pregnant Coworker: "Control your baby!" Me: "Oh boy. Who's going to tell her?"

[@Taizu314]

I have fertility problems. I was rendered sterile by a medical condition I was born with (Turner Syndrome) and I desperately want to be a mom someday. That still doesn’t give me the right to tell other people what to do with their bodies or police their family planning decisions. I don’t have the right to stop others form living their lives. The neighbor needs to leave op alone in that last story. That last op is very much not the AH.

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

Ah yes a decent person hope you get to adopt a child one day. Fertility issues or not you'll probably make a great parent

[@CezzytheKaiju]

My lord that last comment on the wedding thing. I bet they are SO much fun to bring to parties.

[@carolroberts4614]

Life and soul!

[@Val_Benko]

For anyone wondering, the "update" for story 3 was just OP saying: "I'm sorry but I had no idea it was common to bath babies in kitchen sinks (?) Weird because literally none of my family did it. I now get why my husband said it was normal." No mention on if she apologized to her husband for her ridiculous freak out or not

[@brigidtheirish]

Wonder if they're all too posh to wash kids in sinks like peasants.

[@Midorikonokami]

I... Honestly... What?? In the kitchen sink?? What?? Yuck!! I...what?

[@brigidtheirish]

@@Midorikonokami Yeah. Usually with a tub in the sink or at least clean out the strainer, but it's really not that big a deal. Might actually be a bit more sanitary than the bathtub, considering at least two adult asses aren't getting washed in the sink.

[@Midorikonokami]

@@brigidtheirish today I learned

[@LittleGreenCar514]

The only reason that I knew that bathing babies in the sink was even a thing was because of movies and TV shows. It boggles my mind that some people don't know it's a thing, but everyone's experiences are different.

[@wickedgreen1784]

Last Story- That neighbour is low-key stalking them, and this voyeurism/harassment cycle needs to stop. OP should call the cops

[@brigidtheirish]

Not very low-key if she keeps sending her husband over to harass OP because she *saw a baby inside the house!*

[@pris1378]

as long as the sink is clean, all cleaning products and other dangerous things are out of reach, and the sink doesn't have a garbage disposal? bath the kid in there. personally, i prefer the bathroom sink.

[@audreynothepburn7663]

Depends on how big the sinks are. Also the bathing seats too (forgot what they’re called)

[@christianvacchelli1953]

"Why is this sub so weird about weddings?" said the weird one

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Interesting how the person with the neon hair in story one never did their hair this over the top until there was going to be a wedding that they are supposed to be a part of. Especially with the awkwardness when OP asked how long they were planning on keeping their hair like that. It makes me wonder if they do attention grabbing things during other people's moments often.

[@sacilexi231]

If you clean up around the sink first the kitchen sink is actually more safe than a big tub where the parent has to be in a awkward position.

[@Lykanna]

I actually feel sorry for op in the first story. The friend didn't even bother getting their roots touched up! I was at a wedding not too long ago for my best friend and her sil took the time to get her roots done. So it is feasible, even the day before (her hair was purple btw)

[@taschaheim1887]

The problem is that this is really expensive. You cant just die colourful over unbleached roots, especially not with neon yellow. You have to bleach the roots first (and very light for yellow) and only than can you use the colour die itself. That takes a long time, and won't be cheap at the hairdresser at all. And it isn't good for your hair either if you bleach your roots to often. My problem with story 1 is that while changing clothes is easy, changing hair is not. Would you also have covered up your hair or changed your colour for your friends wedding if they didn't like any unnatural colours? Or would you have thought that would have been to far? Hair can also be a huge part of your personality. What if the friend had short hair that should have been covered up? What if they shaved their head? What if they had naturally bright red hair? All of these would have drawn attention, but I don't think it would have been okay for OP to ask her friend to change her hair then.

[@Eebie_Jeebies]

Honestly as someone who dyes their hair I kinda like the roots grown out a bit. Some people like that it’s definitely a look someti’3/

[@zerotodona1495]

@@taschaheim1887 lmao, hair isn’t a personality. Are you stupid?

[@Lykanna]

I used to dye my hair too, so I understand. I think the difference is that the hair was bright neon. Roots are gonna look bad with that kind of bright

[@taschaheim1887]

@@zerotodona1495 It is part of how you express you personality

[@brandi5126]

S3: YTA. I bathed my youngest in the sink a few times. As long as dad is supervising the entire time and the water is a safe temp then I really don’t see the problem.

[@audreynothepburn7663]

And there’s nothing breakable/sharp in the way, then what’s the harm? Just let him bathe the kid 🙄

[@Midorikonokami]

I don't understand. Is this real? This must be a cultural thing. I'm European but... In the kitchen sink? Where you make the food? And where there are knives and glass things that can hurt them? Banning them from bathing them ever again, no, that's awful but... In the kitchen sink??? I'm ... Very confused.

[@peenusflytrapp404]

@@Midorikonokami i love how you assume he's bathing the child in with the dishes. Actually, Its common in some places because sinks are small and you don't have to break your back to bathe the baby in a puddle on the bottom of your bathtub. Neither the baby or the sink should be gross/disgusting enough to worry about any level of cross contamination considering that there are baby bathing tubs that are often used in these situations More often these days b

[@hannahchristine5240]

Story 5 is literally insane. Lawyer up. Hit them with a harassment lawsuit if this continues and they refuse to seek counseling. She’s looking into their home, practically stalking the family. That’s insane.

[@KE-hr4sb]

Story 4: Lolol this reminded me of when I was pregnant with my son. My SIL told her son (three) that there was a baby in my tummy. He looked at me, eyes wide, then yanked my shirt up! When he saw my big belly, he gasped, "Auntie Caylie *ate the baby?!"* We all had a good laugh at that, and my SIL explained no, baby was sleeping in my tummy (her son still looked suspicious rofl). NTA OP. Your co-worker sounds like a drama lama looking for attention any way she can get it.

[@runawayfromtoads674]

"Entitled Parents on a Plane" sounds like a Snakes on a Plane Parody, where instead of a bunch of smuggled snakes pop out, you get like Karens and Kens blasting in and yelling obscenities 😂

[@j.p.2636]

I was thinking the same thing 😂

[@nicholebishop81]

The mom in the story about the dad giving his son a bath in the sink, she is so YTA I've bathed both my children in the sink more as a newborn do to being able to hold the baby better. My son for the first 2 months would scream bloody murder each time he got a bath but my daughter never cried/scream during bath time.

[@bunnyslippers191]

Bathing the baby in the kitchen sink is much easier. You don't have to bend over or kneel beside the tub, it's easier to keep the baby sitting up, it's a smaller area, so you can control their movements more easily, and it's much easier on the person who's doing the bathing's back. Win win! It never entered my mind that anyone would bathe their baby anywhere else but the kitchen sink until they're at least a year old. Mama needs to chill out and stop gatekeeping all the actual childcare and keeping that to herself. Yes, babies often cry during bath time, but they learn to deal with it. Bathing has to happen to maintain the health of their skin and scalp. My niece was cool with the bath part, but screamed bloody murder during the hair (scalp, really for the first month or so lol) washing part then suddenly switched it up just as sister and bro in law started feeling as if they had this baby thing under control and could do at least an ok job of it and started screaming during the bath part and was fine with the hair washing. Kids do surprise you all the time.

[@Armor_Wing]

I was wondering what that issue was. I found old pics of my parents bathing newborn me in the sink on a plastic seat so I’m not sitting on the cold metal. I thought this was pretty normal and easier for bathing small babies. Unless the sink is full of old food and dirty dishes, I can’t see how it’s gross.

[@carolroberts4614]

I'm 68_ and I bathed my kids in the sink, we all did! My mum did too.

[@songohan3321]

She gave a small update. Apparently she didn't know this was a thing because no one in her family did it. From the sound of it, this was the main issue but how she handled it was waaaayyyyyyy over the top.

[@nicholebishop81]

@@songohan3321 oohh didn't hear the update, how she acted was over the top, I was like who's not done that.. as long as you know sink area is cleaned up etc didn't think there probably are family's who would not think this was a common/normal thing people do..

[@unluckypuppy13]

I'm planning on wedding and it's one of my bridesmaids dyed their hair neon I would frankly ask them to cover it. It's the color we use to see construction workers at night ffs.

[@insanospaz]

I frequently dye my hair and my friend told me to not do that before their wedding after telling me I'm a groomsmen. It's not hard to respect that one condition

[@oliviaksiag6163]

How the hell does "I don't want the attention to be dragged to your hair on my special day" translate to "I'm embarrassed to be seen with your hair in public"? I'm someone with dyed hair, and if someone was having a wedding I'd probably get a wig with my natural hair color because I don't want to be dragging attention away from the couple.

[@BiologicalClock]

Story 4 - I literally did this when I was 5 years old during a party my parents were throwing. My mother was absolutely mortified, but luckily everyone (including the pregnant friend whose skirt I looked up) thought it was hilarious. People were laughing about it for years afterward.

[@digitalharmony26]

Jesus, how’s she going to handle motherhood if she can’t handle a one year old misunderstanding something? It was completely innocent and she made it disgusting making it sexual. I’m scared for the child. Lord help them.

[@fcold9402]

1. NTA. This is not something that is not changeable. By account the person changes often and you are not even asking they change but just cover. This is reasonable.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 4 reminds me of a time in community college with a friend. My friend had this anime necklace which someone we were sitting next to asked about it. Her son, 4 years old, came up to us to look at the necklace. After he was done, he pulled the collar of my friend’s shirt out and put the necklace into her shirt. My friend started laughing even when the mom was mortified. My friend’s logic is that the child was young enough not to know that wasn’t ok. She wasn’t victimized by a 4 year old, this lady was not victimized by a 1.5 year old. The difference between intelligence and not

[@lsmmoore1]

I kind of wonder if the 4-year-old boy thought necklaces belonged under shirts, especially if his mother put HER necklaces under her shirt to protect them from him since he was still too young to know better than to grab. So he knows about "cleanup" and "put things away", but not about boundaries. That's what it sounds like. Kids that age are often taught "cleanup" before they're taught about boundaries anyway - and there are cleanup songs but not personal boundary songs. For all I know, he learned "cleanup" from a children's show.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@lsmmoore1 boundaries are usually taught in kindergarten range of age through first grade. I mean you have those stranger danger lessons

[@LaineyBug2020]

Last story- They need to get cameras and be extremely vigilant in watching their child, never leaving them alone with the neighbors. Document everything and look into reporting the harassment.

[@SpoonieGee-tr5rc]

No you wouldn't. Nobody wants a ridiculous hair style for there wedding party. If a person had a mohawk I would feel the same way.

[@KellyDVance]

Story 5: My husband and I had infertility issues. We tried for years. Did it bother me to see women in public with babies or pregnant bellies? Yup. Did it suck every time a friend who has just started trying announced their pregnancy? Absolutely. Did part of me die a little when I'd see a woman at the grocery with multiple kids and another on the way? Every darn time. And you know what I never did? Make it their problem. I would cry to my husband, my mom, my friends who knew, but never to the objects of my envy. OP is NTA, but her neighbor totally is.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 5: scene A day at the beach: Paul and his wife go to the beach and sees a family sitting there, children and mom making a sandcastle. Wife gets upset, Paul goes to them and say “you’re making my wife upset by having fun with your children, can you move somewhere else?”

[@gaxalee7392]

Can you imagine them harassing women suffering from postpartum depression? That could cause a lot of harm or even a death. Parents aren’t going to stop providing children love and care just because some people can’t have kids, and they aren’t going to just disrupt the harmless routines and habits that keep them comfortable and healthy just because someone doesn’t like it. Those two need therapy.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@gaxalee7392 exactly, people having kids aren’t going to accustom their life around people who can’t stop being so drastically upset over their life because they can’t have kids. They need to get therapy and see if adoption is the way for them to have a child in their lives

[@justaperson4656]

On story 1: I aim for blue hair after college is done (not allowed unnatural hair colours) and if I was going to a wedding, I'd probably chalk/spray it black happily. If that wasn't an option, of course I'd cover it. Hair dye is a personal choice of self expression, but it's one that can be easily changed if it's too loud.

[@brigidtheirish]

Story 2: Wait, the mom wanted some complete stranger sitting between her and her kid just so the kid could look out the window? And then she tried turning OP into free in-flight entertainment? How does this woman manage when *not* riding with a bunch of strangers? Does she hijack someone to babysit her spawn when driving her car?

[@jessicawolfe5861]

If a person is infertile they need to figure out how to deal with the reality of pregnant people and babies existing in the world.

[@dianakosianka5344]

In Regards to OP's concerns in Story 3: I think her husband has enough sense to not have sharp objects nearby or in the sink when bathing their son. As long as the baby is supervised, it's safe to bathe the baby in the sink. I think she overreacted, in my opinion. Story 5: OP's neighbors are being creepy. She and her husband should get the law involved if their neighbors don't stop watching them. Is OP and her family supposed to stop living their lives because their neighbors are unhappy?

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Seriously! If the wife gets upset over seeing the baby, why is she constantly looking? You know it bothers you, but you just can’t help yourself and then send your husband over to harass them cause you won’t stop looking in their windows? Nobody should have to change the way they do things in their own home…STOP looking!

[@CleopatraDK]

When my younger cousin was born he got very fixated on my chest. At one point he even grabbed them. How did I react? Like an adult! I casually laughed it off and gently took his hand away and he got distracted by a toy. That woman is not mentally stable if she honestly believes that a baby can sexually harass someone! My theory is that she got embarrassed that her dress got lifted and lashed out, not caring about the logic of the situation.

[@jessielxo12132]

Story 1: NAH as someone with neon yellow/green hair, I was in/worked my bosses wedding she bought me a wig so I didn’t stand out. I offered to wear it to my cousins as a guest but she doesn’t care. It’s not a big deal.

[@amazinglynn]

I love how we, the Waffle Gang, can all come together and collectively clown the YTA guy on the first story 😂 seriously wtf was their problem? I wonder if they actually have any friends lol

[@beanieboogie9526]

I know my mom bathed all her kids in a sink. It's *a lot* easier on the back and they even make baby changing stations that you flip up and, bam, a tub is under it. Sink are also less of a drowning risk if you have to look away for a second. That OP is out of line for going full bitch over it.

[@WolframKKM]

Last story: Why even wait for a "next time"? File a report with the police now or contact a lawyer for a cease and desist now - whichever makes more sense. This has gone one long enough, the woman clearly isn't getting any better and she could seriously be unhinged and go after the OP or the baby.

[@carnotauroofthebrood3274]

I feel like i'm in another planet because were i live there is no way a baby fits on a sink unless the baby is unhealthy small

[@annem7806]

Wow. She needs help. Is there an HOA? Time to file a complaint w local PD. Get it on the record that you told them not to bother you. This issue can make people CRAZY!!!!!

[@brandyb2931]

Omg, she never said once she was ashamed of her or being seen with her, she just said she didn't want to look at her wedding photos in 50 years and see a bridesmaid with neon green and yellow hair. Black and white photos it is.

[@15oClock]

1. OP could've gone down the path of a Bridezilla, but didn't. It's fair to be mad, but restrained. 2. Just another r/EntitledParents story that got lost along the way. The edibles the best part of this. 3. Kids have been bathed in kitchen sinks for generations. This is just ridiculous. 4. 1.5yos are naturally curious, not cretinous. It's more a problem for her than it is for anyone else. 5. Anna doesn’t need to peak, but she does. You need to avoid triggers, not engage with them.

[@brigidtheirish]

5: And OP's mom is way off base. This crazy woman was peeking through their living room window and getting triggered over OP *feeding her baby!* What, is the baby just supposed to *not exist* for the next 18 years?

[@rabeaw6646]

Story 2, where exactly is mom ebtiteld? She asked for the seat, guy said no. She dropped it. Guy played mobile game and toddler likes it. You dont need to be a genious to realize it will upser a 2-3 y.o when entertaiment stops. Mom asked if he could play some more guy said no again. Child naturally cries, guy berates her. There is so much we dont know, like how long it took to calm kid down or what she brought with her to entertain the child herself. But to say keep a toddler in line for a long ride is absurd, at one point they will cry. Something will upset them. Most try their best ti handle them and we dont know if mom did just that. Guy might be nta but he isnt a pleasent guy either. For clarification, it would be entiteld if she demandet something or refused to accept no for an answer but she did neither. So she was just a mom asking for her kid. Nothing more

[@SarahRavenclaw]

The “friend” in story 1 is not a good friend. Why would you ever think it’s okay to not only have NEON GREEN hair at someone else’s wedding (while you’re in the wedding party) but also not even bother to color the roots.

[@charlesmcclure8000]

I'm really disappointed in the yta comments on the hair issue. The neon hair wasn't important enough for her to touch up her roots before such an event. If the hair didn't matter enough to touch up, it shouldn't matter if it's covered up either then...

[@ChaoticNalilitoMC]

Lol, my boss literally just had a child with his fiancee and while he was holding her, she went up and bit his nipple thinking it was feeding time. He said, NOPE, and let her roll over in his lap away from him. That co-worker in Story 4 is going to be a helicopter mom at this rate

[@starbird3939]

Story 3 - YTA I have seen kids and pets being bathed in the kitchen sink. It’s not a big deal so long as the sharp tools are out of the way. Also the perk of kitchen sinks is that the adult doesn’t have to lean over and hurt their back. This hard line is just gonna cause issues.

[@Nezzy750]

My wife’s maid of honour has a giant chest tattoo. I stood firm in telling my wife she can have her friend as maid of honour but her outfit will cover her tattoo as I don’t want to be looking at it for the rest of my life when enjoying MY wedding memories. Ppl who get tattoos, piercings, odd hair dye, need to realize that EVERYONE can see you. That not EVERYONE has the same taste in stuff and has preferences on how they want memories of their once in a lifetime moments. That there can be situations where tattoos, piercings, and hair color isn’t appropriate and you can be affected by it. That’s why it is important to think long and hard before making alterations to your appearance.

[@loddo4153]

Man the last comment on story one is rough, they took it WAY to far. OP you are not the asshole.

[@Hamantha]

You can tell that comment and others potentially like it got to her. Wrongfully so

[@sciencenerd218]

Story 3: YTA because from personal experience (and photos) because me, my 5 older sisters and then their kids, we were all washed in the sink because it was easier and more convenient than a bathtub until we got older/bigger for the bathtub. But you should also clean the sink afterwards anyways.

[@zoex7652]

Story 4: NTA that woman isn't ready to be a mother if she can't understand that kids that young will look up your top and skirt or grab your chest, they don't understand and yelling at them isn't gonna change that, it's only gonna scare them. You gently remove their hands and then distract them with something else

[@kisavalkyrie]

3rd story just made me laugh with how ridiculous it was. Like seriously, I remember my mom bathing my little sister in the kitchen sink- and she did it all the time because it was more contained and easier for her. Mom did that with all of us and would lovingly call us her dirty little dish. The OP in this story is so the TA

[@spikeoramathon]

Story five - I'll tell ya what's wrong with OP's mom - she's the type of "mother" that needs to push down her kids to the extent that if OP came round and said she'd gotten mugged, mom'd be trying to get her to apologize to the mugger. There's a certain kind of mother that no matter what their kids do (even after they've stopped being kids), they're in the wrong. OP's only mistake was thinking that she could get any kind of sympathy from this kind of so-called parent.

[@RokoFireFox]

Story 3. People bathe their babies in the sink all the time. The heck.

[@JUMALATION1]

That last infertility story is top-level craziness from the neighbor lady and her husband. I would feel violated if someone kept staring at me and commenting on where I was in my own house house, pregnant or not. (I too have fertility issues but I'm genuinely happy for everyone that is having a baby. Of course I think about it a lot to myself but the absolute NERVE to go harass someone for having the audacity of being pregnant nearby... Jesus.)

[@patriciaschiro2659]

The one with the pregnant coworker lady reminded me of my older sister not because of the baby but because of the lady. My younger sister had a party for her son’s first birthday and my older sister was maybe three months pregnant. My husband picked up the birthday boy and gave him a big hug and that’s when my older sister freaked out. She started crying and yells “Nobody holds my baby like that!” My husband looks at her belly and says “Well that’s because if anyone tried they would probably need to wear gloves”. Everyone just started laughing and she stormed off crying.

[@annegriswold2116]

That pregnant co-worker is nuts, children don't have an awareness of how their actions affect others til I think its about 5ish years old. You are freaking out over a baby being curious, who probably doesn't even know the concept about private places yet. She's going to get quite the surprise when her own baby arrives and does things she doesn't like. Babies aren't dolls you can mold to how you like, they are going to develop their own personality as they get older.

[@NeverShoutNever45454]

Story 1: NAH. As someone who has dyed their hair a lot (currently blue and black) I would not even be slightly offended if someone asked me to cover my hair. If it was an ultimatum that’s a different story, but if it’s the way OP describes it I would have no issues. That last comment was living in a different world. Story 2: I’m kind of leaning toward ESH, but I’ll say NTA. He has absolutely no responsibility over the child, but the point where he just told the mom “to control her child” irked me little. But the moms reaction was completely out of line so NTA. I just wish some people treated kids like little humans and not a completely different species. Story 3 YTA. It’s totally normal to wash a baby in the sink, I would say a majority of people have done it before. He’s an equal parent to that kid as she is, she cannot just “ban” him from anything, she was way out of line.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

5. NTA, that woman is stalking OP...It is not normal to look what people do in they yard, backyard and their home -looking through windows

[@ProfXraig]

Last commenter on the first story was projecting something fierce.

[@brandyb2931]

"Can I go outside mommy?" "No honey, the neighbor is infertile and it upsets her to see you playing in the yard."

[@derpaderpy4931]

Story 4: I probably would have said to her: "Look, let's slow down and put this into perspective: This young man isn't even two years old yet, he doesn't know any better and still needs time to develop. The fact you are making an innocent action of curiosity from a literal toddler to be sexual harassment, that tells a lot about you." But to be fair I KNOW I'm an asshole, lmao.

[@ajwinberg]

OP in story one isn't the AHole. I understand how they feel. My best friend since we were 8 years old was my maid of honor. She has missing front teeth and I don't care. But I actually didn't have any pictures taken with our bridal party, which only consisted of maid of honor and best man. We have like thee pictures of just me and my husband too.

[@champslim]

Story 3: What in the hell is wrong with this chick??!! I used to get washed in the sink. I just washed my hair in the sink last month. Crap I just gave my dog a bath in the sink. He is a yorkie.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 3: OP is TA... Ummm, it is gross to bathe the baby in the kitchen sink??? WTF? In fact, it is better to bathe the baby in the sink as the baby is small and can fit in the sink no probs. The kitchen sink is high and one can stand and not hurt their back while bathing the baby. There's less likelihood of the baby drowning since it is a smaller basin than the tub. For sure wash, rinse and put away all dishes and remove kitchen ware from the area to ensure the baby can't grab anything. Remove ALL electrical appliances that are close to the sink. DO NOT bathe the baby in the basin that has the disposal choppy dohicky unit and even put some kind of barrier so that the child can't even think of putting their curious hands or feet down the hole. Sounds like OP is a helicopter mom that isn't allowing her husband the opportunity to be a father. She doesn't even allow him to do the DIAPERS??? OMFG! When does this woman sleep? She needs therapy.

[@marissagray6663]

Agree. 100 percent.

[@sweetloutstea1688]

Well I just found a way not to get invited to anything dye my hair thanks reddit !

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

I can only think of one reason a bridesmaid would dye her hair a neon color just before a wedding, and that is to upstage the bride.

[@Athlynne]

I'd tell Paul and Anna they'd get better results seeing a fertility specialist than, you know, spying on their neighbors in their own home and yard like complete creeps. The NERVE of them is astounding. If I were OP, I'd deliberately be showing off the baby now, whenever I think they're looking, and fill the back yard with baby toys and a kiddie pool.

[@evavocative6975]

Geez... that last comment on the first story is WAY too ridiculous. Not wanting a BRIGHT eyesore color in your wedding photo does not mean she is ashamed of her friend, what an outrageous jump.

[@livaugirard3383]

The baby looking up the dress to find other baby is so dang cute, how could anyone be mad 🥺🥲

[@kimsmith1746]

Story 1..."Hair color doesn't hurt anyone else." What a load of crap! I've spent my entire life bein judged, because of the color of my hair. OP has perfectly valid reasons for the request. When I attend weddings, I always make sure I get an up-do. This way, I do not attract attention. The same applies at funerals.

[@JRMAV1]

As someone who got bathed in a sink once in a while, OP in Story 3 needs to get a life.

[@GrifoStelle]

The comment pretending that wanting a look for a few hours was "SaYiNg YoU'rE aShAmEd Of ThEiR bOdY" is disgusting. It hurts noone to ask or express desire. Hurts everyone to repress it.

[@VesnaVK]

Story 1: OP never heard of wigs? Seriously, a hair band like that would stand out just as much as unusual hair.

[@cupcak3ninja209]

NTA I’m a Barber/cosmologist she asked to cover not color it… my sister asked me to change my hair for her wedding to normal color and I did… I have long hair and I’d have taken a lot of the attention from my sister and I respected that… I was 21 and I’m a male if I can understand that she can too or she can skip the wedding the couple shouldn’t have to change their photos or compromise on their OWN wedding that they are PAYING FOR NTA

[@michelleb2669]

Story one: It would be the first thing anyone would notice when looking at your wedding album. Ive been married 30 years and have 6 kids. I absolutely know that my children, and anyone else, would say or ask something about the girl with the neon hair. It would forever be the center of attention in our wedding album.

[@mtimm9023]

No grown ass woman should be dying their hair neon. I would demand that she color her hair. Seemed that she wanted to try and bring the attention to herself. Good for op for not giving to her

[@shellbythesea12]

Babies have been bathed in the kitchen sink for as long as there have been kitchen sinks. It's easier on the back to stand at the sink rather then hunching over a bathtub. I mean so long as it's cleaned well it's no problem. It's not like it's a toilet.

[@puli_dreadhead]

That one comment saying that the OP is TA and to value their friendship hasn’t read that one story about the Fairy Odd Parents 69-ing, the tattoo is not offensive but the couple didn’t want that tattoo visible. OP’s friend is TA for not keeping her hair or roots maintained for the formal event.

[@kimmurphy6621]

Story 1- NTA and I'm surprised a wig wasn't suggested as an option. It honestly sounds like the most practical and will look the nicest in pictures. Could even be lots of fun to shop for one.

[@CH-ns4gv]

That baby's a predator and needs to be stopped at all costs