r/AmITheA--Hole for Getting My Husband Arrested?

[@hermeticbear]

He needs to report his lawyer ex wife for ethical violations to the state bar. Using the court to harass people will get you disbarred

[@mask938]

He should also get a restraining order if she tries anything else (she definitely sounds like that type of person).

[@Tustin2121]

He should have gotten a restraining order years ago, tbh.

[@benwagner5089]

@@Tustin2121 A restraining order is useless if you have to house their mole. Now that he's an adult, seek a restraining order against both of them.

[@black1917]

And sue her for damages.

[@SkunkApe407]

​@@benwagner5089 and he needs to formally disown his snake of a son. Blood or not, trash like that belongs at the curb.

[@aceospades6570]

"What's your childcare plan?" "You, of course!" "What? And you didn't plan to check with us about that?" "It's none of your business!" ...what?

[@shadowmewfred09]

Classic hypocrisy

[@IamjustBruh]

I went bruh…

[@velvety2006]

sounds like sil just want the mom title but none of the work

[@dracko158]

Classic choosing beggars amiright?

[@fdm2155]

I would have said, actually, you're right! Not my business because I won't be involved. That daughter is delusional.

[@silverflight01]

Story 5: I love this, because OP basically revealed that Pete's family was playing favorites and it mainly shows by the change of comments. Good work, OP.

[@Nerobyrne]

Yeah that was amazing. What was even more amazing is that they tried to go right back to the lies even after *everyone present* realized what they were doing. Like, who are they trying to fool?

[@shortangel333]

The best part is "They looked better than the photos" and "what did you do differently to make them taste so good?" proves who the better baker is.

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

*AH:* "No really, this is your best work yet. Normally your food tastes like chalk and we have to pretend to like it just because you're the 'Golden Child' and all, but you actually learned how to cook. I'm proud of you for taking the initiative!" *OP:* "Actually, I made those." *AH:* "Or to put it in another way... the exact _opposite_ of everything that I just said."

[@agentmaryland1239]

@@Nerobyrne My favorite was when they said something like "well Kay sells their food, so clearly it's just better!" I've seen people sell baked goods on Facebook, Kay's nothing special lol. Unless you're literally making goods for some well known place that only makes the best food, you really can't just brag about selling food like you're some discount Gordon Ramsey or Pierre Herme if you will.

[@parmesanchease480]

Just because you sell something, doesnt mean its good, it could sell horribly, or taste like chalk and dirt,

[@MizTameRumors]

She dreams of 3 kids? Easy to dream of 3 kids when you expect your mother to raise them for you. Outrageous.

[@thunderflare59]

I'm more alarmed that she objected to sending her kid to school. Why wouldn't you want your kid in school? OP didn't mention a suggestion for home schooling.

[@threegsgaming6959]

Final story: NTA. I agree with Pete that it was funny. Also, shame on the In-Laws for always making OP waste time, money, and ingredients making treats and never touching them like she doesn’t matter.

[@tamaradelsohn5493]

Seriously, they intentionally made sure OP brought things and deliberately turned whatever she brought away. That family's just straight up nasty.

[@fdm2155]

Yeah,that was just weird. After a few instances of them doing that, I would have stopped bringing anything. Screw them.

[@thetruth1816]

@@fdm2155 same here.. I would've brought an empty plate with 1 plain donut in it..

[@SailorMya]

Right, it really feels like they kept asking her to bring things just to put her down... If I ask someone to bring something I would at least be a good host and try it if nobody else will. Kay putting down OP is the level that the rest of the family sunk too and she has probably said worse behind her back...

[@dracko158]

That is psychological bullying. Forcing OP to bake something, then not eating them anyway is basically just bullying her. I mean, what would they gain, besides just rubbing it in OP'S face that Kay was better?

[@Nerobyrne]

Second story: Was there a better way to handle this? Yes. Were the actions entirely justified? Also yes. Was it freaking hilarious? HELL YEAH!

[@GamerGrovyle]

- Was there a better way to handle this? Yeah. CALL THE COPS!

[@morallygary9098]

No. No they were not. Stranding someone 3 hours- by car- from their home is not justified by them being dicks. They deserved some sort of retribution for sure, but that’s excessive as hell. This is a clean cut ESH dog.

[@Tustin2121]

The better way to handle it would have been for him to leave during the race while his friends were distracted, instead of waiting until they were specifically able to see him pulling away. Like the former is entirely justified, the latter is still justified but also assholeish. It would have been the same punishment if they didn’t realize he was gone until post race.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Was there a better way to handle this? Yes. Was there also a better way to handle sleeping arrangements than being this much of an ahole as these guys? Also yes. Well they say every action has an equal opposite reaction.

[@supervegito2277]

@@Tustin2121 Cant comment on the "Assholeish" bit, but i definitely wouldnt have done so myself. I would indeed have left whilst everyone else was gone... and id take much more satisfaction from doing it that way as well, and ofc ignoring any calls.

[@cosmicrosary]

Fourth Story: Let me get this straight. The son found out he was kept out of the loop because he was always running his mouth. So the first thing he does is go run his mouth… And he just doesn’t see a problem with this?

[@nightrain4749]

RIGHT???? like THIS was the whole reason.

[@weldabar]

Adult son ran his mouth which costs parents thousands to pay lawyer for defense. Send the bill to the son and tell him he's responsible for it.

[@JudeMarchisio]

The son is a massive b.itch. And I can't believe the Dad was apologising to him for withholding information. I'd have disinherited that clown.

[@pupperpalace9889]

That is exactly what I was thinking! The son did the same thing he did as a child!

[@BunnyQueen97]

That was my first thought, obviously he takes after his mom

[@tully6648]

Second story: OP should've asked his "best friend" what he would've been meant to do if he hadn't accidentally left his truck unlocked that night. Where was HE supposed to sleep in an unfamiliar city? Ex-BF and company can go sit and spin.

[@merlinathrawes746]

The "best friend" got all the communication that he deserved! If he wants more communication the "best friend" should start it off with major apologies and an offer to pay for the gas used (they drove 3 hrs., call it approx. 200 miles one way) towing an RV trailer to get them to the races. Provided that that wasn't taken care of beforehand. Should still offer to pay him for his time and trouble, however, especially after how he was treated.

[@amateural]

The last story: Pete's entire family thinks McDonald's is fine dining because "they sell food and are popular, so they must be better"

[@animeotaku307]

Pretty much. That mindset can go right to Hell.

[@thomaswaller1943]

OP should have bought some of Kay's treats for the party

[@morgstamash1903]

Maccas isn’t bad but it’s bit great ether hahahahahaha

[@mikey7029]

Pete’s family needs to get over themselves cake pops just leftover cake

[@dandytastic7465]

@@morgstamash1903 Idiot Translation: McDonalds isn't great but it isn't bad either, lol

[@myopinion69420]

story 4: OP might want to look into if there is anything legal he can do, It sounds like something that could have her disbarred, she is abusing her 'power' to harass her ex.

[@samhainnc9416]

I have a feeling there is a lot more to the story. I mean if the son was giving information that caused problems with them with his ex then it sounds like he may have been withholding income for child support. Also the kid should have zero AH in this as he was being used as a spy by the ex. He didn't know better when he was kid. Just doing what his parent told him and by the time they were hiding everything he was still not even a teen so I don't think he deserves anything as the ex caused that. ALSO being a lawyer doesn't give them any advantage beyond knowing the law and not having to pay themselves so free legal representation. UNLESS they were a DA or ADA and used that to go after him, but no judge/DA etc would allow them to be a prosecutor against an ex. In the end they are just a lawyer i'm sure who was using the law in their favor since they knew it and it was free.

[@fdm2155]

Yes, I had the same thought. He should file a complaint with the state bar association her behavior is unethical and unprofesional.

[@qdllc]

Hard to say. A smart lawyer would stay within what's allowed (ethics violations are pretty hard to prove if the offender was careful). However, if I had a kid part time who did what his son did, I'd basically end custody and make my reason to end custody was that the ex-wife was making him spy on my personal affairs and he was not welcome under my roof if he was operating as an agent for my ex-wife. Kid brought this on himself. I suppose he stopped doing it, but the father kept him out of the loop to protect himself. I had a nephew that went through a "lying phase" where he'd make stuff up to get attention. One time, he lied about me creating a mess. After that, I avoided being around him alone until he grew out of it. I didn't need a lie told for attention getting me in legal trouble.

[@mhammer3186]

@@samhainnc9416 lawyers do have a board of ethics and I believe using the legal system to harass someone with baseless lawsuits is a breach of their ethics. And being a lawyer gives them a huge advantage when what she wants to do is use the legal system to bankrupt him with lawyer’s fees and ruin his life.

[@samhainnc9416]

@@mhammer3186 we are only getting one side. What he calls harassment might be legal lawsuits/complaints. He did admit to hiding income in the story.

[@rayraystarwars]

The first story gave me an odd feeling, like the husband basically threatened OP by saying "You wouldn't dare because you know what would happen." I feel off about Ops husbands family.

[@DayKiyokki]

Both parties are at fault, she should've just drove him there or hid her keys.

[@frostkilling]

@@DayKiyokki People shouldn't have to hide their stuff so people don't use them, its not how it works, they either get permission or they don't. She was under no obligation to drive him to the wedding either, he decided to sell his car, that was his choice and if he doesn't like public transport that seems like a him problem.

[@DayKiyokki]

@@frostkilling You are absolutely right there was no obligation, but she knows her husband and the type of person he is. She should have hid her keys. She also purposely hid the fact that her husband took her car from the police. They BOTH need to learn how to handle things like adults.

[@JeremiahDouglas]

And the fact that she lied to the cops about her car missing she should get 6 months in county for that.

[@j.c.2240]

​@@DayKiyokki So that the police would do their job.

[@ashleightompkins3200]

First story: What's the bet that the husband didn't tell his brother were the money came from? He wanted to appear generous in front of his sibling and so lied about the source of his 'donation'? Then he took OPs car because he had to keep up the charade?

[@arianasupaswud8261]

Probably but he also seemed like a pompous rich boy when he said that he couldn't handle taking public transportation

[@NowLeavingNormal]

Very possible. Or maybe trying to look like he’s really successful in front of his little brother and parents. Maybe he has told them that he’s making a lot more money than he is.

[@Annie_Annie__]

@@arianasupaswud8261 or maybe less like a rich boy and more like what my dad calls “gold tastes with a brass wallet”. He likes looking like a big time rich snob when he’s really no where near.

[@fdm2155]

Oh, I bet the family knew a) he sold his car b) OP didn't allow husband to use her car. Clearly the husband is a childish idiot. And let's not forget, the husband took the car, drove HOURS away and was staying for 5 DAYS. Um, wtaf? Why on EARTH should OP be deprived of her car for 5 days because husband sold his? Not her problem.

[@tully6648]

Right? Because like... If the brother or any of the family knew that he'd sold his car to help pay for the wedding, I'd imagine SOMEONE might be grateful enough to offer him a way to get to the wedding. Although with the way he is, he might've gotten offers and said "It's okay, my wife WILL lend me her car."

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: Nobody wants to be deprived of retirement for BS reasons like what the daughter was doing. Her choices are not OP’s problem. If the daughter wants to have a third child, she can, but SHE will be taking care of them. Just let OP have the retirement!

[@Nerobyrne]

Yeah if I was OP I'd just move and not tell her where you're going. Obviously, she can't handle real relationships with her family.

[@fdm2155]

Right? Her parents should provide hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of childcare because OP wants to live beyond her means? If you can't afford childcare, you can't afford the kids! Thet daugher and her husband are massive jerks.

[@johnwoodworth9127]

I think it's especially telling that the daughter is upset that the mom didn't say anything sooner... But apparently this was the first time she had heard about the daughter wanting another kid. Like how in the world was she supposed to say something sooner when she didn't know about it in the first pjlace?

[@Kakmanmartinez666]

I agree. I do however feel biased bc I'm CF. I would not want to take on the responsibility of someone else's kids even if it's family. What's in it for us? Are you gonna help cook lunch for the kids for us? Are you gonna give us a little money to order takeout for them? My sister did that crap all the time knowing full well that my grandma had her hands full trying to care for my sick grandpa. She just kicked the kids out of her room while she and her bf fucked all day and watched TV. Not to mention she barely fed them. One of the kids got into raw meat sitting on the counter and managed to eat like, almost half a thing of chorizo

[@KazzleTheDazzle]

Exactly! Once in a while probably isn’t a problem, but practically every day? OP and her husband should be able to enjoy their retirement

[@365ral]

Stories 1 & 3 are classic cases of "Failure to plan ahead on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine."

[@RPGPaenda]

the fourth story: “you’re a negligent dad.” the son is entitled… he was his mother’s spy and that raised no concern in court? like hello??? the son is lucky his dad still included him in these trips and vacations-could you imagine how much shit he would have given his dad if he wasn’t on those trips?

[@black1917]

They likely refused to see the pattern, if sued his ex for this and damages in legal fees, this will damning evidence, he could even sue the district/county/state court this was happening in for allowing it to happen.

[@benjie128]

The son gets upset bc his sharing details led to the ex suing him. So to prove the point, the son tells his mom OP withheld info. And the ex sues him again.

[@MrDoverfield]

The son is just a little turd

[@MercilessJoey]

that ex lawyer should be disbarred

[@Tustin2121]

Joey A - The ex lawyer should become an ex-lawyer? Lol

[@MercilessJoey]

@@Tustin2121 the fact she’s wasting OP’s time in court because she’s a lawyer then yes

[@NekoYuki]

@@MercilessJoey I think you mean that Lawyer Ex should be an Ex-Lawyer.

[@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00]

My only response to the daughter in the 3rd story would be "your kids are NOT my responsibility, they're yours. If you're not financially stable enough to have a 3rd kid, then you shouldn't. Even if you have the kid and we agree to help you, what if we both suddenly died in an auto accident or house fire or something? What would you do then?"

[@Hybrid301]

If my own brother sold his car to help pay for my wedding, I would have bent over backwards to find him a ride to my wedding. And if I found out they took their spouse’s car without permission; I would kick their ass into shape.

[@BadassHater1]

But it sounds like he's not the only entitled asshat in the family

[@DPHAngelPookz]

How would they know he sold the car

[@franl155]

lol If I found out that my brother was going to sell his car to pay for my wedding, I'd give him an earful and suggest he look for his lost marbles.

[@Hybrid301]

@@DPHAngelPookz I’m pretty sure that he would tell them to explain where the money came from

[@PinataFreaks]

That story with the "spying son" reminded me of something. I am Swedish, which means that I obviously don't speak English as a first language. But after my parents' divorce, my dad started dating, and later married, an American woman. The American woman had a tendency to speak English whenever she wanted to say something that she didn't want us to understand. Here's the problem with that, we learn English in school starting at the age of 9. Combine this with the fact that our movies are mostly subtitled rather than dubbed, my proximity to a woman who constantly switches back and forth between English and Swedish anyway (her Swedish was acceptable but far from perfect and sometimes she spoke English without realizing it), and learning from my two older siblings. I was pretty much semi-fluent in English by the age of 10. Which meant that I understood every word that woman said and wanted to keep secret. Whenever she said something I didn't fully understand, I could usually figure it out from context, which in turn made me even better at English. It confuses me so much to think back to it though because, fine, she didn't understand how quickly I had picked up the language because I was only 10. But my sister was 15 at the time. She had gone through 6 years of English in schools at that point. And my stepmom didn't even realize that she could understand English. This woman also spoke three languages: English, French (both fluent) and rudimentary Swedish. But she seemed to think knowledge of English was beyond our grasps. I also told my mom about the things they talked about, largely to spite my stepmom because I considered her to be a really rude and hypocritical person. Eventually my dad caught on where my mom got her info from, and informed his wife. But it still took her a long time after that to grasp that I really understood every word she said.

[@Ikajo]

Hi fellow Swede ☺️

[@PinataFreaks]

@@Ikajo Tjenare fan.

[@agentmaryland1239]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that, as an American myself, I promise we're not all like her.

[@GeorgeVCohea-dw7ou]

@@agentmaryland1239 Evidently, there are plenty of you lot who are, some with doctorates.

[@PinataFreaks]

@@agentmaryland1239 My impression from being in the US is that the US is split down the middle. It's 50% the nicest people you'll ever meet, and 50% humongous assholes.

[@TheWolfHound7777]

Story 3: 100% NTA. Some people think that having as many children as they want is a fundamental human right. It's not. This is a mindset society really needs to get out of. If you can't properly care for a kid, don't have a kid.

[@fdm2155]

And in that case, it seems like they could afford it, they just weren't willing to make reasonable sacrifices...like most parents do to care for their children. Instead, the demanded that her parents make the sacrifices!

[@Nerobyrne]

oh, having children is absolutely a human right. Having other people take care of them isn't.

[@Gweem13]

@@Nerobyrne You may have rights to pop out as many kids as you want, but whether you keep them or not is a privilege that people need to work for, not a right, which way too many people take for granted. That's what the original comment is trying to say, I think. We need to stop applauding people for creating more lives if they're not going to put in the effort to make them good ones.

[@mask938]

I'd bet my glasses that the kids will start calling OP and her husband "Mom" and "Dad" since they're the ones who've been raising them for the past 5 years (if they don't call them "Mom" and "Dad" already). OP and her husband have been more of a mother and father to their grandkids than the bio parents ever have.

[@stepitup25]

💯 %

[@SkulShurtugalTCG]

First story: While I 100% agree that OP is not the A-hole, I feel like she and her husband aren't thinking of things as husband and wife. OP's wording makes it feel like, even though they're married, they're still thinking of all their things as separately owned. I think that might be a bigger problem than the story itself. (But, again, OP is not the A-hole in the story, husband definitely is.)

[@ArcanineEspeon]

Yeah, maybe that's what felt so off with the story. My parents have their own cars but the idea of banning each other from driving them is utterly alien to me. Also, another "off" thing: I have a feeling that the reason why the wife wasn't invited to the brother's wedding is more relevant than she lets on.

[@kateworkman921]

I partly agree, but she did specifically say he's a horrible driver. Perhaps he's gotten into accidents, or has piled up tickets and/or points on his license? If that's the case, that can have a HUGE affect on what insurance will cost, and if it's the wife's car, she'd be the one responsible for paying that hiked up cost, because how much you wanna bet that if/when it happened, suddenly, the husband would be all, "Well, that's YOUR car, right? So YOU'RE the one who needs to pay it."

[@lordmeme_]

i absolutely agree. Neither of them considered the other.

[@tidepodpadthai2633]

Because they are separately owned? It's still their car, he can't just take it whenever

[@pattondurio]

It's not that alien. A lot of married couples these days keep their own bank accounts/cars/etc. Also, the fact that the husband sold his is the real problem. There's no reason for him to need to use her car. He shouldn't have sold his. OP shouldn't have to sacrifice her ride to work or her ride to do things she needs/wants just because her husband is stupid.

[@Alteusgirl]

story 2: there was a better way to handle this... but op's "friend" wouldnt like it either: call the cops saying there's people that locked him out of his property and refusing to let him have access to it.. then once the cops kick them out drive off and tell them to find somewhere else to stay. i would not have let them sleep in that trailer after being told i can't get in.

[@guipa__]

In the last story, the husband hasn’t just been allowing his family to basically harass and bully his wife, he’s always tried to defend her, he deserves a lower score

[@Twinklethefox9022]

Yeah I think r/slash missed something

[@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00]

"Whenever I bring treats, they're often left untouched" That seems to imply that the husband wasn't even eating them either.

[@damionlee7658]

I agree with the score for the husband. Sure, in the final hour he made comments supporting her, but the fact that this has been an ongoing issue for multiple get-togethers means he wasn't doing anything to correct the appalling behaviour of his family. OP's husband basically left his wife to fend for herself, until she finally did something to make people take notice. He does not come out of this story looking particularly good.

[@shortangel333]

@@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00 I mean its also imply OP doesn't eat her own baking so should she get a bh score too?

[@GoldenSunAlex]

@@damionlee7658 No indication of that at all. You can't force people to do something. There's no indication at all. You get 1 star for your comment.

[@bradleybarnett1469]

Last Story: Husband should get Unknown/5 Buttholes. We don't know if he's tried to defend her or not. Sometimes, even with your partner defending you, their family will still be assholes

[@neffyg35]

Op says that he does defend her so not sure why he got a butthole score

[@metademetra]

@@neffyg35 Because r/slash has a stupid belief that if you try to do the right thing and fail, it's equivalent to doing the wrong thing. He also seems to think nurture wins out over nature 100% of the time. Thing is every time he says "I mean it's NICE you tried to stop X bad behavior, but it failed, so it clearly was not enough," he is dead wrong. Because sometimes assholes are just assholes.

[@aurorarowley7310]

Rslash literally read he had defended her over the years. But I've noticed that he spaces things like that a LOT when he gets upset about how the OP is being treated. He needed to look it over again.

[@Tiewaz]

1st story: Husband absolutely stole the car. He took it without permission. OP should GTFO out of that marriage. 2nd story: OP is totally not the AH. Bite the hand that feeds you, get bitten in return. Honestly, OP should have left while they were racing. Let them come back to a completely empty site. Maybe with their belongings set out for them. 3rd story: OP is totally not the AH. If you have to ask/rely on family to be your childcare provider because they are free, you cannot afford another child, period. I don't think the daughter would have taken her parents' seriously if they said "we hope you don't have more." Sure, the older generation can help out the younger ones, but as an older gen person, kids are freaking exhausting, especially when we've not had to deal with them for decades. Especially with this health crisis, assuming your older relatives are going to be there being your kids' babysitter because there is no paid childcare for in-school-too-young-to-be-unsupervised kids is stupid. Some places will come down on a parent who leaves a 12yo alone! 4th story: If OP is going to be paying for a lawyer anyway, he should countersue his ex-wife for her frivolous lawsuits that have cost him money over the years. The son should figure out how his mother was using him and get mad at her. Unless he was in on it and was mad he was outmaneuvered. 5th story: I was waiting for the 'laxative' trick, but since nothing like that happened, OP is not the AH. Glad OP's spouse has her back, but that family is just toxic as heck. It makes me wonder why they've singled OP out to be snots to. (Race? Religion? She's a Hatfield and they're McCoys? WTF?)

[@ryanjackson9664]

Not stealing when you are married it'ds shared property. But she's a **** and hopes he leaves her toxic ass. Can't even share a car.

[@danielbrant6740]

As funny as "laxative in food" revenge stories go, what fiction doesn't tell you is that in some places, that can be considered a serious a criminal charge as _attempted murder._ (even if it only gives them the runs)

[@jadecoolness101]

@@danielbrant6740 That's because you can actually die from diarrhea. You dehydrate VERY FAST if it's bad enough.

[@spydersoup8447]

I think it's really because her SIL sells them, unlike OP who just makes them for fun, not for money. Clearly, they're making the one who makes money the favorite, did you see the clue they gave of that, being that she sells them and therefore, they must be better.

[@Tiewaz]

@@spydersoup8447 Thing is, OP said she used to sell hers, she just got tired of doing it as a business. And I don't entirely blame OP's husband. Given how they act now, he probably gave up fighting their snottiness.

[@frostbite3318]

I would leave those friends stranded out of my life forever. What manchildren

[@YukoHoon]

First story: if the husband didn't have a car, and his wife didn't want him driving her car, why didn't he just... I don't know... RENT AN EFFING CAR?! Second story: if your best friend had you locked out of your own trailer and left you to sleep on the streets, then he isn't your best friend, or your friend at all. He should have thought that one better. Fourth story: "he says we treated him like an outsider". No. They treated him for what he was: a threat to their mental and emotional stability. His actions hurt his father, and know he is feeling hurt that his father defended himself? The things I would like to say about that would have to be in Spanish because that's the only language with enough insults to cover it.

[@condorboss3339]

Story 1: Yeah, that's what I kept thinking. Unless his credit is also ****.

[@danielbrant6740]

@@condorboss3339 OP did say that her husband was a bad driver. So maybe a rental agency took one look at his driving record and went _"NOPE"?_

[@condorboss3339]

@@danielbrant6740 That's another possibility. " _I'm sorry sir, but we want our car back in one piece_ "

[@karinwolf3645]

If op's husband got into an accident the only way she could escape liability would have been if the car was stolen. She had to report it! She should get out of that relationship... Seems like a rotten marriage.🙄

[@erikaskyeculley4601]

also why didnt he ask for a ride

[@KyleBrand]

Story #2: "There's a better way you could have handled this." Yeah, and that went out the window when you locked me out of MY trailer when I was doing YOU a favor.

[@threegsgaming6959]

First story: NTA. FIVE DAYS?! When will these people learn that no means FUCKING NO???? He can’t handle the consequences of his actions or respect boundaries. Divorce him.

[@Nerobyrne]

I wanna know where else he doesn't respect boundaries 🤢

[@BeanManolo]

Reminds me of a similar story where the husband took his wife's car without her permission, and also got mad at her. I feel the other was even worst because it was to go on a trip to another state with his friends, and she's a EMT, and was during the worst of COVID, so she needed the car to go to work and couldn't lose a single day of work.

[@hardup9809]

Insane^

[@kstricl]

Minor correction needed for Spartan story: *Former * friend. You pull that kind of douchery, you are not a friend.

[@Nerobyrne]

Hey, here's a thought: If you don't want the cops to *think* that you stole a car ... not stealing a car is the first step.

[@hardup9809]

Joint property

[@GeorgeVCohea-dw7ou]

@@hardup9809 The police let him go, so even they thought it was a civil matter; which wasn't helped by the fact that she willfully withheld information. OP is lucky that she wasn't arrested as well. Two wrongs don't make it right! NTA but not totally righteous either. Waiting until he gets there and then having it towed would have been the better way to handle it. The guy sounds half his actual age, essentially a teenager.

[@KHFN_YT]

@@GeorgeVCohea-dw7ou She lied to the cops to keep her husband in jail for a couple hours so yea she's the butthole

[@anti-classist]

I love the switching in the baking story. That's by far my favorite, because they basically proved that they were all assholes and now they're upset that they're proved that they're all assholes. And all at the same time they prove that she is the better Baker not kay.

[@RamdomRando]

Story 3: deserves a much higher score, the daughter and son in law are basically just having kids for someone else. Like "ooh my dream is to have 3 kids, I'm not going to raise them of course, I have no time for that! My mom can just do it for me" what sh**y parents...

[@serioussleuth6677]

Final story: I'm a professional baker. When family members bake something I go out of my way to try it and compliment them on things about their dessert and ask them questions about how they made it because I love talking to people about baking and different methods. Yes I try to bring things that look a bit more professional than people expect for a get-together, but I don't have to be the best baker in the family at the cost of other family members' self esteem. That's petty and childish. food is food and the fact someone took the time to make it for the people they care about is enough reason to show them appreciation and be nice. NTA for proving that they're all just being assholes to please her.

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* OP's husband didn't think his plan through, did he? Could he not rent a car for the event? Why couldn't his parents pay for his brother's wedding? Why did he have to sell his car? Regardless, OP is NTA, and she may want to consider divorcing her husband or at the very least separate from him. *Second OP:* If OP's friend's bros can leave OP without a place to sleep (in his own camper!), then OP can leave them without a means of transportation. -I believe this is a case where OP is TA but is justified.- I should rephrase. OP is NTA for what he did; the way he did it was AHly but justified. *Third OP:* OP's daughter and SIL have the right to have a third baby. However, instead of dumping the kid on OP and her husband, her daughter and SIL should make financial sacrifices and consider hiring a babysitter. OP is NTA for not wanting to look after yet another kid for free. OP and her husband should enjoy their retirement. *Fourth OP:* Normally, it's not good for parents to withhold information from their children, but in this case, OP and his wife are justified. It looks like OP's ex put ideas in the son's head so he can turn against OP. It's unfortunate, but OP is NTA. Best of luck to him and his wife. *Fifth OP:* LOL! That reminds me of the story from r/PettyRevenge where OP tricked her mom into eating her food. Same scenario and outcome. OP is NTA for tricking her in-laws, but she _is_ TA for making me want cake pops. 😛

[@ojrmk1]

Husband went too far, but boy does the undertone of the story just screams that these two do not need to be together.

[@samhainnc9416]

The 4th story I think the OP is also to blame. They both were using the kid as a pawn. He was withholding info so he wouldn't have to pay more child support among other things I am sure. (He even admitted to not tell him about promotions) But the mom was worse for using him as a spy when he was just a child.

[@fdm2155]

@@samhainnc9416 I disagree. If the ex wife is STILL bringing frivolous lawsuits, this is NOT about child support. The ex no doubt was using her son as a spy in his father's home. OP should have raised that issue with the family court AND filed a complaint with the state bar.

[@anionleader]

@@samhainnc9416 I would argue that the son was being used as a pawn more by the mom, screw the ex because she's going for so many vexatious and frivolous litigation against OP. OP was more in the right to keep silent for all these years because the ex has demonstrably poisoned their child against OP.

[@hardup9809]

Insane^

[@DatMasterHunts]

Gotta love the old story of parents who make a kid and just throwing it off to someone else and not worry about it. These stories make me sick, taking advantage of their own parents or family members for free service. If you two made the kid, you deal with it.

[@jlaw131985]

That first story: Why are you married? It doesn't seem like it was working out before the whole arrest part.

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

First story: He didn't have permission, took it anyway and even had the audacity of making threats to OP. I think OP has to get out of this relation before this loser baby-traps her.

[@smashrosa8111]

This story is weird tho. You didn't notice that OP is shady as well with the way she is talking about her husband?

[@Hcfungfuikbgdhhh]

You don’t need permission to use joint property lol

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

@@Hcfungfuikbgdhhh that's the detail. IT WASN'T joint property.

[@j.c.2240]

​@@Hcfungfuikbgdhhh It's not joint property

[@Scarlett.Granger]

I love the whining "there's a better way to handle this" from the Sparta dudes. Yeah, dude, there was a better way to handle sleeping arrangements than waiting for him to leave, lock him out and take his trailer that he drove there as a favor, but i guess they didn't see that either.

[@bibigamer502]

I feel like they wanted to keep OP’s stuff as well thus locking him out

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First story: lmao OP’s husband committed grand theft auto and theft. That threat is a major red flag too. OP should really leave her husband because he is a major red flag. I disagree rSlash, calling the cops on literal theft is reasonable Second story: Those guys simply got what they deserved honestly Third story: Thats crazy how OP’s daughter and her husband ARE taking advantage of OP. They are honestly terrible parents when they CAN afford to take care of their own kids but don’t want to. They are extremely selfish and entitled Third story: OP’s son literally did the exact thing that cause OP to essentially cut him off when he was young. Back then he told his mom everything OP and his wife said and now he did the exact same thing at 20 and yet he is furious? Fourth story: What is mean is not trying someone’s food because they claim Kay is the best. Pete and Pete’s family are horrible people. I think OP should stop bringing food for them period

[@joedavino9225]

You can't steal your own car. If they are married legally he owns half that car no matter what unless there was a prenup before they were married. He did NOT steal anything.

[@thetruth1816]

The son " how dare you keep information that will help mom make your life a living hell dad "??

[@jam2727]

@@joedavino9225 Clearly, that's incorrect if he was kept in custody. Marriage does not entitle you to all property. It depends on where you live.

[@anionleader]

The story with OP's son and lawyer ex is ripe for counter suing for parental alienation by the ex.

[@shortangel333]

I mean OP in story 4 didnt 'cut off' his son, he just didn't tell him every single little detail going on in his life.

[@CMY_Kat]

In regards to the grandchildren situation, it's similar to an issue my parents ran into with my brother and sister-in-law. They wanted my parents to take care of their baby daughter two weeks of every month, which my parents would have gladly done if it weren't for the fact that they live 6 hours apart. I argued against this, saying it was unreasonable for them to expect two people that should be enjoying their retirement to take their elderly dogs and drive 6 hours one way, babysit their granddaughter, then drive 6 hours back every month. I told them that they spent half their lives taking care of their own kids and that it was my brother and sister-in-law's responsibility to find proper childcare, not theirs. My brother is also very financially stable and both he and my sister-in-law have excellent jobs in their fields, so affording childcare was never an issue.

[@Rj-ij6ko]

It’s really weird that Op’s son’s argument essentially comes down to “why aren’t you letting me spy on you and feed Mom info that could get you into legal trouble” NTA OP but honestly…i would limit contact with your son, he sounds really toxic ngl

[@samhainnc9416]

I don't blame him because he was used and manipulated by BOTH parents when he was just a kid. More so by the Mom, but also the Dad since he was hiding stuff that probably would change child support and what not as well. NO wonder the kid grew up with problems. He should be mad at his mom as well and maybe he is now. We are only getting one side and that side was trying to rig it so he didn't get into legal trouble so he isn't innocent.

[@mhammer3186]

@@samhainnc9416 he wasn’t being manipulated by the dad. Withholding information isn’t manipulation in itself, it’s a part of manipulation but doesn’t mean that there is manipulation going on. And he wasn’t getting into legal trouble he was being harassed by his ex who was using the legal system as a cudgel. She could file a baseless lawsuit for next to nothing but it could cost him hundreds to thousands of dollars in lawyer fees to respond, and that’s what she wanted.

[@Darkloid21]

@@samhainnc9416 yeah OP didn’t manipulate his son his mom did. She knew he would tell her everything and used that to badger OP with it. The father already tried to tell him about the dangers of oversharing and it didn’t work so what else was he to do? Just keep shelling out thousands of dollars because his EX wont leave him be. OP is entirely innocent because he tried to tell his son why we he was doing isn’t a good idea and when that didn’t work he had to withhold from him. He tried to make the best of a bad situation. He OBVIOUSLY can make his kid shut up nor did he try to do the only recourse was to withhold.

[@Nebraska60]

@@samhainnc9416 they went to therapy and the son continued the behavior after the therapist explained how destructive his actions were. The therapist recommended withholding the info. It’s not manipulation, it’s following the advice of a mental health professional.

[@davidhutchinson5233]

2nd story. No problem at all leaving them behind. None whatsoever. You want to play the asshole, you get what you get. And that goes for the childcare story and the ex wife lawyer nutcase. IMO, lawyers in "family law" are nothing more than vultures.

[@andrewbrock4636]

although the dude was a bit of a push over by sleeping in his truck. "sorry, nothing I can do"... " actually, you can open the door or I will make your life hell this evening".

[@wompwomppppp]

Final Story: NTA, on top of everything Rslash said, There's also the added disrespect of Asking and expecting OP to bring something so they can just, not touch it

[@spydersoup8447]

Most likely the reason for that is to hide their favouritism so that OP doesn't feel left out and so that OP's husband doesn't cut them out.

[@AkioKota]

I like how the entire family from that last story were like, wow you’ve never made cake pops that taste and look this good before, oh wait those weren’t k’s? Nevermind then, they weren’t that good, just okay. She’s so petty, she only did this because she knows she’s not as good a baker as k. Despite literally just saying they were better than k. Like, it’s just ego and discrimination.

[@spydersoup8447]

Yeah, this is stupid. You'd think this would be the moment when they'd finally discover what OP's skills really are after ignoring her treats the whole time. But nope, after discovering that they were OP's, they just went from saying how good they were to saying that they weren't as good because Kay didn't make them. How did their taste for the cake pops change that quickly after discovering who's who? What's the point of asking OP to bring treats along if you're just going to ignore them and leave them untouched?

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

@@spydersoup8447 They probably just want to hurt her by not touching her food yet asking to bring some

[@spydersoup8447]

@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 You mean they just want to punish her for not selling her cakes for profit like what her SIL does?

[@cherenkov_blue]

I would absolutely be petty enough to do the treat swap in the last story. I'm an amateur baker, and I've had multiple occasions where people only eat what I bring if I don't mention that they're mine. People will swear that they taste great, but then when I say who made them, they immediately recant like the family in the story and say they're "just okay". Like yeah, _sure,_ you just swore that those cookies were some of the best you've ever eaten, but I guess your taste buds suddenly changed their minds 🙄

[@morgandouglas6014]

OP is completely justified for her actions in the first story. That’s definitely grounds for a divorce.

[@MistaWap]

I don’t know much about law but it seems to me she could clean house in divorce court

[@fdm2155]

Yeah, that's a red flag the size of Texas!

[@joedavino9225]

Negative she made a false report to the police 100 percent illegal. She knew where the car was. She is married the husband owns half of that car!!!!! Unless of course there is a prenup but I doubt there was.

[@jam2727]

@@joedavino9225 That only applies to cars that were bought WHILE married. And if it was illegal why didn't the police do anything? They definitely had the information of both parties.

[@damienearl1310]

It especially lies in his response to me She told him no, he fought for a yes, she insisted, he agreed, he stole the car anyways without a warning, and when she told him she'd call the police for a straight up crime, he *threatened* her Like, it just kept getting worse!

[@mirandanils5114]

Story 2: When my family entered the spartan race we rented hotel rooms - and you leave extremely muddy and gross from what i remember 🤭 imagine kicking someone out of their property ain’t no way. especially your “best friend”. trash i hope OP dropped those losers.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Last Story: NTA, I would have taken a step further, Record all of their reactions tell them I made it and then post the recordings on social media.

[@tarbhnathrac]

2nd story - the woman that got locked out of her own trailer - 1. When she was locked out she should have immediately called the police, gotten access to her trailer, then promptly put all their stuff outside and locked the door. If her friend complained the response should have been, "Sorry, there's nothing I can do". 2. Drive home and leave them stranded and when her friend called to complain respond "Sorry, not enough room". 3. In spite of this she's still referring to him as her friend. Seriously? FORMER friend, who was obviously not a friend to begin with.

[@charleneblack2792]

Look, it's no one but the parents responsibility to take care of their kids. If you can't afford daycare, which is extremely expensive, don't have kids. Don't feel bad for telling a demanding, entitled parent to parent their children.

[@velvety2006]

or at least don't have more kids than you can afford.

[@DarkWolf22k]

And that OP should just counter sue for all lawyer costs because of constant BS excuses from his EX and cut his son off... He knows what he's doing and keeps doing it and now he's mad because he did it and is mad that the consequences involved him directly... Sue HER... You have the perfect lawsuit to rule them all

[@thetruth1816]

Absolutely countersue and take every dollar you can get from her then go negative zero contact with the son..

[@LLandS18]

He shouldn't have apologized to his son at all. The son is an adult he know what he did was wrong now time to cut them both off.

[@thetruth1816]

@@LLandS18 absolutely

[@NEPAAlchey]

Story 3: they shouldn't have kids. Period. The basically don't have kids as it is since they barely see them.

[@ismae-rienne4991]

The truck one: don't bite the hand that feeds you!

[@kadenlemon495]

I feel like there was a missed opportunity in the second story. Op should’ve told them “sorry there wasn’t enough room for you”

[@Annie_Annie__]

Second story: OP should clean out the camper really well. Especially if he’s the type that would object to drug use. Seems possible they locked him out so they could use substances of some kind without his interference. Maybe that’s why they wanted to just borrow the camper to begin with. They also could have been planning on cheating somehow (I know nothing about Spartan Races, but Googling “Spartan Races cheating” seems to indicate that it’s a problem) and were trying to organize a plan together. Or maybe I’m just cynical and don’t trust people.

[@RevokFarthis]

1st Story; "You wouldn't dare do it because you know what would happen." That's a threat. OP, leave him. Edit: 4th Story; I grew up in a similar situation. I learned real quick that if I ever said *anything* to my mother that she would use it to hurt my dad in any way possible. So I never told her a damn thing if I could avoid it. I refuse to believe that this kid didn't know exactly what he was doing. OP, he's 20 now, drop him and let him deal with the parent he chose.

[@A_Rose_From_Concrete]

What really bugs me about that last story is the In-Laws literally asked OP to bring something every time. What's the point of asking to bring some desserts just to be rude and not eat it, that's just really mean and spiteful. Also them saying Kay's baking is better than OP's without tasting both is ridiculous

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Second story: I think OP's friends showed their true colors. They deserved it for kicking OP out of HIS OWN property.

[@TetraSky]

First story : NTA. Husband caused the entire situation by himself by not respecting you. And the fact he took YOUR car, to a wedding that you aren't invited to... Wow. Honestly if that doesn't end in divorce, I'd be shocked.

[@Hcfungfuikbgdhhh]

NTA would be divorcing, being upset, yelling, etc. You are definitely the AH if you lie to the police to get your spouse arrested on a false report of stolen joint property. Like 5/5 AH.

[@myroc1]

In the story with the spying son: Explain it this way. He was actively endangering the chance at a relationship by sharing sensitive information with the ex. He had the option to give up custody in these battles or not share certain aspects of his life with the kid. Those were the only options available to him due to the son's actions. Straight up.

[@ieeskaterdraw]

My mom was (and sometimes still is) in a similar family situation as the last story. My mother is insanely talented in music baking and drawing. However her inlaws had a bunch of children my aunts and uncles. They all get recognition for their talents in the same areas as my mom. But my mom would always get brushed aside even if she offered help or made/did whatever. Things happend during 2020 till now, that allowed her to take a few steps away from my dad's family and i can tell shes a lot stronger and more happy than she was. Im proud of her.

[@Christaffo]

first story, if it was just for one day, calling the cops might be a bit extreme, but taking anothers car against their will for 5 whole days are definitely grounds for reporting it.

[@lycos94]

honestly i feel like the spying son was probably put up to that spying by the ex wife

[@fdm2155]

Oh, 100%!

[@aurorarowley7310]

The issue is they actually tried therapy, but the son refused to change. He literally showed no empathy towards the dad. Which makes me wonder what lies the mom told about her ex that made him decide to blab to his mom so easily. Most kids would stop and think before telling things once they understood how it was affecting their parent they were talking about. In this case the kid deserved the butthole score he received.

[@Nebraska60]

He was but he continued after the therapist told him it needed to stop. He clearly picked his mom’s side and actively worked to make his dad’s life difficult with informed knowledge about the effects they were having.

[@SesshouFan22]

“You’re just jealous she’s a better baker than you!” That’s funny, that’s not what you and your family said until you discovered the cake pops were the ones I made.

[@shaneallee7181]

Story about son spying on them is sickening. If OP’s ex is a lawyer then I would petition the state to disbar her. She might not get disbarred, but the review process would probably kill her career if she works at a big law firm. Also, I would counter sue on harassment, and push for all legal fees to be paid by the ex. If she did file all those then they are public records of this going on for years. OP needs to have a conversation with his son about what he was doing.

[@nils920]

Story 1: What part of "No, you can NOT drive my car" did OP's husband not understand? He took it without her consent, that's stealing, end of discussion! Period! NTA Story 3: There's a huge difference between helping family members with their struggles and straight up taking advantage of them "bEcAuSe We'Re FaMiLy". NTA.

[@havz0r]

No, that's not stealing.

[@metademetra]

IDK, men on AITA seem really entitled to SO's cars.

[@mrnubbones8626]

@@havz0r it is

[@this_is_a_tiny_town]

In the UK if someone uses your car without your permission, even if it is a spouse or someone else in your family, or friend or whatever it is called TWOC-ing, (taking without owners consent) and it is an offence, the police wouldn't ignore it and assume it was just a domestic. Sometimes they'll pull a driver over, maybe suspecting they don't have a license or insurance, run checks and find out they don't have any. Then discover the registered keeper is their spouse and at that point it's either charge the driver with a TWOC offence or charge the spouse with permitting an unlicensed/uninsured driver to use their car, whichever is appropriate.

[@Prommy666]

Last story i wouldnt give pete any AH score, he defended his wife and stood by her side against his own family.

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Fourth story: That woman is insane because she turned her own son into a spy. OP's son should know what he did was wrong and made it worse for telling his toxic mother. I say that kid isn't worth keep in custody, but I bet if taking that route will make her go to court again.

[@locastamoon7452]

The son was being manipulated by his mom, and he kinda was treated as an outsider. Imagine sitting in a car with bags around you and realizing your leaving town, and that everyone knew but you. That’s scary because it’s a sudden change, there’s a lot of factors that go to vacations, and it just hurts. Parents and children are not perfect but the blame is never really on the kids, it’s on the parents. A good parent always fights for their kids and makes them feel included/loved; which the son didn’t until he was 19 years old (which is still a young age and can be easily manipulated)

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

@@locastamoon7452 Please, it was a teenager, more than enough to know that what the mother asked to do was wrong.

[@randomloseranddull1560]

​@locastamoon7452 my mother continuously tried to manipulate me and my sister during our parents divorce, we were 12 and 10. It did not work. Yes its easier to be manipulated at that age but if people continuously tell you what your doing is wrong you would start to wonder...

[@Sanodi21]

With the second story, there was a better way of handling it. OP should've hitched the trailer back on and driven his 'friends' back home overnight With the fourth story, let's be real. The ex is a rock solid 5/5. She wants to ruin OP's life just because then went and destroyed any chance of him having a relationship with his son by turning them into a *weapon* to further hurt OP. This woman is a horrible person and deserves all the bad things coming hey way and doesn't deserve her license

[@marjoriejohnston4905]

He couldn't, the keys were locked in the camper. But, that would've been funny

[@Luminoxie]

Something that I think a lot of people brushed aside in story 2. If op hadn't left the car unlocked they would've been forced to sleep outside in an unknown city with strangers passing by in the cold night wind; they essentially forced op to stay out in the cold but only by sheer luck that op didn't have to.

[@VicGeorge2K6]

In other words, you want OP to just enable such bad behavior by rewarding his friends with a ride back home? How about just cutting them out of his life entirely and see where it gets them if they want to further attend any more of those Spartan races?

[@marjoriejohnston4905]

@@VicGeorge2K6 I think he was saying they would be forced to miss the race

[@Sanodi21]

@@marjoriejohnston4905 Basically. If they took advantage of him giving them a ride and room and board, then he had every right to rescind it by taking them back home before the race and tell them to shove it

[@butterflygirlie7419]

There’s gotta be more going on with that cake pop story…It’s like Op is actually being asked to bring a plate of rejection for everyone to share.

[@juxtra6113]

Third story: Why the hell would you try for another baby when you seemingly can't stand to be around the two you already have?

[@zombiechicken7114]

How rude to just assume other people will do your parenting. They couldn't even be bothered to go on holiday with their children. How hurtful to the children.

[@mrzero5373]

I think there’s more to story 4, he admitted to hiding income in the Reddit post. He also said that she won cases against him which means there’s a legitimate reason she’s suing. I think this story has been completely spun around to make him look better than he actually is. If he’s been withholding income for child support then this story is completely different. It doesn’t matter how much she makes, legally and morally he’s required to give the right amount of child support.

[@alexswindley-wilson2762]

I'm not being facetious, but why should he have to pay child support? It seems he possibly had greater custody based on the story thus shouldn't he be getting the child support? Especially since she as a lawyer, is likely making much more than him? And furthermore, she's a lawyer, she's gonna have a better chance anyways since she knows the system

[@NotLakayahItsFrNotMe]

Why would he be paying child support if he was raising the child the kid was living with him going on trips with him etc etc

[@billy9144]

The trailer one is hilarious. I'd have done the same exact thing. In fact, I would have banged on their windows all night until they let me back in. How could anybody that claims to be your friend kick you out of your own camper and make you sleep outside like that? He should never talk to those jerks again. That could also be under petty revenge. That was great!

[@threegsgaming6959]

NTA. Those aren’t friends, those are ungrateful leeches. They made their beds, let them lie in them.

[@lolaj9701]

They *stole* op’s bed; take the whole damn room back 💕

[@samhainnc9416]

@@lolaj9701 He could have just called the cops and kicked them out that night and left them sleeping on the ground.

[@dracko158]

The phrase: "Sorry bro, nothing I can do." pissed me the hell off. It's equivalent of pranking someone and then just saying "It's just a prank bro!!". "Why did you do this to us?" How could YOU do THIS to OP? Literally the ONLY person with a vehicle and you pissed him off.

[@DrkWhiteWolf]

The Childcare story strikes a familiar nerve. I'm a 29M father to a current 7 year old. My folks live 400 miles away, and my partners parents live a 45 minute drive away without traffic, but it's the city, so it can be a 2 hour drive or worse. Meanwhile, My partners brother and sister in law live a 5 minute drive from their parents and before the their 2 boys got too old and rowdy they forced Nana to look after they constantly, which she was happy to do for about 3 years or so, then she put that foot down hard and said enough was enough just like this wonderful grandma is doing. Too many people don't understand that just because a grandparent says no to this doesn't mean they don't love their grandkids, it just means grandma/pa want show a little love to themselves with some peace and quiet! Meanwhile I was practically worshipping my daughters NaNa every time we drove out when she was little and she would say "I got her, go watch a movie and have dinner." Because without a support system it was the only time we could act like a dating couple again. Be nice to your parents/grandparents people.

[@jennteal5265]

Story 3: My parents really struggled when my Mother's mom freaked out when she said she wanted a 3rd child. "YOU HAVE THE PERFECT FAMILY!" So, while I do _not_ think the grandmother has the right to decide how many children her daughter should have, she is _not_ obligated to take care of the children. She absolutely has the right to decline childcare at any point. Her daughter and SIL need to figure out childcare and cannot continue to take it for granted that Grandma is going to continue to watch their children _for free._ TBH, daughter should be paying her parents _something_ for childcare.

[@TheUnpred1cTable]

LOL “am i the asshole for tricking my inlaws to try out my food”. I shouldnt have been laughing so hard at this but man that is fucking incredible

[@roxyhoyt3675]

If I made a cake for someone, and they refused to give it a FREAKING CHANCE because they prefer to eat food made by a family member just because they sell theirs, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW CAKE HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER!!!!!

[@EZMONKEY04]

And the facts that they ask her to bring food just to not eat it, 13:27

[@roxyhoyt3675]

​@@EZMONKEY04I just thought about something else op could do. Don't bring food. When they ask why she didn't bring anything, she's should say "apparently, my food isn't good enough for you a__holes."

[@phitch1237]

for story #3, the daughter and son-in-law definitely deserve way more than 2/5 bs, personally I would even put them at 5/5 since they're not only forcing their parents to take care of THEIR OWN CHILDREN, but they're also effectively neglecting them and prioritizing the idea of a 3 kid family instead of a stable and happy one.

[@IljaHordist]

Last story: Everyone heard them praising OP's cakes, and still they claim they weren't that good as soon as they learn she made them. That's Trump level of denial.

[@johndalasfox6077]

"I think I am much more humble than you would understand" - Donald Trump

[@eldenlion5850]

1st story:NTA. I've dealt with people who just use or take my things when I've told them no, back then they had backup to help them browbeat me into letting them use it, but now with my sturdy af spine this is exactly what I'd do if this happened nowadays

[@aubreyhadley3828]

I love listening to these to start my day. Thank you R/slash!

[@LilDevyl17]

*Story 1:* NTA! He sold his car to help pay for the Wedding but instead of asking someone to pick him up or use an Uber to the Wedding. He decided to ask you. You said no. Fair enough b/c if he's outta town for five days how are you to get to your job? And he did it anyway. You told him to bring it back, he didn't. That's stealing. You didn't give permission and it sounds like he didn't have any trouble getting there, if someone else picked him up from his family. Sounds like your husband OP is literally trying to look better then he is in front of his family. *Story 2:* NTA! Okay, maybe if you drove off during the race then it would be almost the same thing as what they did to you. B/C if you didn't kept your truck unlock you would've been sleeping outside by yourself at night. Yeah, that's not good. Plus, how is there no more room in a Trailer for four people? I've seen a Camping Trailer big enough for five to six people? So, that make absolutely no sense! Especially since it's yours OP! Sounds like they were just using you for free ride and camp! *Story 3:* NTA! If they can't afford more kids then they shouldn't have anymore! This is a classic case of "Working from home/Retired means free Childcare/Babysitter" for them. And unfortunately OP, that is exactly what your daughter and SIL see you and your husband as. Free Childcare and a free Babysitter that they don't have to pay and just drop off anytime they feel like taking a break from being a parent. Sounds like they just wanted to drop the kids off for a week or two without consulting with you. *Story 4:* Wait, so let me get this straight? Your son filmed you without your consent and/or knowledge, showed it to his Mom (your Ex) and your Ex used all that in the Court as "Evidence" against you. So, you made sure AFTER consulting with a Family Therapist on what to do, you didn't share anything about vacations or promotions or what's going on in the extended family. And then at age 20 he goes and does the exact same thing that he did that led to all this? Sounds like your son took after your Ex OP and your Ex just can't let go! *Story 5:* NTA! Your In-Laws however are! It's the exact same thing as asking someone to explain the joke when they make an inappropriate or sexual joke and then watch them try to backtrack or explain it without come out as it being inappropriate or sexual. This is the same thing! It's "Golden Child" syndrome. And they showed their cards and now they try to make it look like they weren't playing favorites after they got caught red handed!

[@Lilith-Rose]

Taking a car without the owners consent is literally an offence in itself here, it gets around the whole family member borrowing without permission isn't stealing attitude. It's called twoc (taking without owners consent) and carries separate punishment

[@mhammer3186]

If they’re married it’s joint property, so it’s both of theirs car.

[@jam2727]

@@mhammer3186 if the car was owned before the marriage, it's hers.

[@Lilith-Rose]

@@mhammer3186 no, only if both of their names are on it. Unless there is some weird law in your particular state that says otherwise it doesn't work like that. It definitely doesn't work like that in the rest of the world either and it doesn't make any sense whatsoever for that to be the case anywhere. And over here even if it is technically joint property if the other person isn't on the insurance or loses their licence etc they can be done for it because otherwise the other person can be done for knowingly allowing someone to use their motor vehicle without valid licence or insurance as a separate charge, this is done to further prevent people who have been banned from driving or don't have insurance from continuing to drive since it puts pressure on their partner not to allow it and its actually a pretty good system.

[@Lilith-Rose]

@@jam2727 they even clarified that it wasn't joint property at the beginning of the post smh

[@jam2727]

@@Lilith-Rose its starting to feel like people saying the wife is in the wrong only half listened to the story

[@Nylak-Otter]

Man, I have the opposite reaction from my family as the cupcake girl's. I'm a professional certified animal behaviorist, and train adopted dogs on the side for work (service dogs, police/military/search and rescue dogs, etc), but when someone in my family has dog trouble, they go to my older uncle for advice. He's a duck hunter, and he trained his working-line purebred Labrador retrievers to...retrieve. Whatever, less unpaid work for me!

[@alexn9647]

Second story. Is leaving someone stranded an asshole thing to do? yes yes it is. however was it justified in the scenario? yes yes it was

[@bluestreaker9242]

That third story is literally the Anakin "Hold on...this whole operation was YOUR idea" meme. OP's daughter is just plain selfish to basically expect mommy dearest to care for her child. If I pulled that kinda crap on MY mom, I'm fairly confident she'd say something to the effect of "I fail to see how YOUR poor planning is MY problem."

[@rickigr]

I don't understand what kind of marriage the people in the first story have. It sounds more like a relationship that is coming to an end or a marriage of convenience. It all seems very bizarre.

[@lavenderhoney3208]

I relate to the last story. My husband and I are professional chefs, we get paid to cook beautiful delicious food, his family would always skip whatever we brought to potlucks and I didn't mind at first, leftovers for me. Then they started on going off about how amazing his sisters food was.... It was deli food.... From Safeway. So I stopped. I always bring four bags of chips and that's it. For the past five years. Cheaper and easier for me.

[@dracko158]

Husband: *"You wouldn't dare do it, because you know what would happen."* OP: **Calls the cops** Husband: **Surprised Pikachu Face** You know, it's not a good idea if YOU are the one who committed crime to threaten someone like that.

[@InsonaSibel13]

That's a red flag, cuz what exactly are you threatening your spouse with?

[@dracko158]

@@InsonaSibel13 My guess he's probably threatening OP with violence. He said "because you know what would happen", means it didn't just happen once. And as OP put it, he had a "rage fit". So it's a pretty good assumption that he is physically abusive.

[@scottkendrix6231]

Story 3 can be summed up with one sentence. Being a parent, especially to an infant, requires some sacrifices.

[@bunnyboikugii2840]

HELL YES. sorry I was refreshing the page lots. Me and my mum love your content Xx

[@venessafugi6768]

“How dare you try to accuse me of stealing your car!?” Because… because you DID steal her car.

[@GamerSapss]

Last story: You assume he hasn't defended the wife, which unless stated, please stop saying it as a fact

[@shortangel333]

I beleive the husband has tried, his family has said no and he couldn't do much else. He probably knows how his wife feels as he found what she did funny.

[@TheOfficialTarynTots]

Every cake pop begins with Kay! I had to say that bc I kept on thinking of the jewelry commercial. They clearly need to feed Kay's ego for whatever reason. I've done something similar but it had to do with a broccoli salad and lots of Moms/kids. Mine was all gone by the time I even got to the table to get food and the other Mom's one wasn't even touched. I saw her crying a bit at the end. It was bitter sweet. They thought I couldn't do better because of my age and always bragged about how great hers was. After that, nobody tried to say I couldn't make something and always asked what I was bringing for that picnic.

[@itzashouthere240]

If the kid from the snitch story is reading this then i just want to say that you are the human incarnation of the word dissapointment Im proud of OP for even holding him for this long,i would have given up after like when he reached teen years

[@somebody4952]

"Erika feels like we should've told her sooner" Erika didn't tell op sooner about her new child