r/Pettyrevenge I Tricked My Mom Into Ruining Her Pizza 🍕🤮

[@Lilith-Rose]

It's an entitled person thing, they do it because they feel like they are entitled to the best things and can't handle it if someone else finds something that they want. So they'll shadow the person and push infront of them because in their mind they'll somehow miss out if they don't. Interesting psychology, awful behaviour

[@SailorMya]

Funny how their FOMO actually makes them miss out on what they really want! lol

[@mooncatgamer8255]

Thank you kind one

[@Lilith-Rose]

@Dope 138 I've seen reddit stories where Karen's try to grab people's guns from open carry or concealed carry positions.. one of the absolute stupidest things you can possibly do unless you have a literal death wish.

[@Matheus-ql7mn]

Ok, this is insane! I mean, we've seen Karens, we know what they're capable of, but this reached a new level of stupidity/entitlement/brain damage. (Nothing but respect and empathy for neurodivergent and with real mental health issues people, not mean to offend anyone but Karens).

[@goochface11]

I’d just follow them to their next destination (hopefully another parking lot) and slice dem tires

[@balazsfoldes4700]

The dad in Rslash is starting to overpower him. The puns... The puns know no end...

[@gabrielrochadasilva3183]

They are dad jokes. Hummmmm....

[@shadowman7307]

@@gabrielrochadasilva3183 for some people... -_-

[@inezsmith2443]

Mhmmm

[@Blaze101_]

thank you for saying exactly what i was thinking(´▽`ʃƪ)

[@SRosenberg203]

Omg I fucking love it so much, you can literally hear his "Dadness" increasing with every single video. That "Check-mate" joke had me fucking dying.

[@thebaldcat6708]

I always thought the “Once you become a dad you start making dad jokes” was fake but Rslash is living proof of this concept

[@dusketch6357]

Yep

[@zerefhedead5702]

I'm about to call his manager because these dad jokes are getting to CHEESEY

[@dusketch6357]

@@zerefhedead5702 I asked for extra cheese mom

[@zerefhedead5702]

@@dusketch6357 "GET ME YOU'RE MANAGER KID YOU GONNA LOSE YOU'RE JOB!!!!"

[@katherineknapp6604]

Yep

[@Bladewalker1]

In the last story of the Karen following OP, whenever OP went to a different section of the store. After a few times Karen did that, OP could of looked at Karen and said something like ... "Just to let you know, I'm planning to use the store's bathroom. Hopefully there is enough room to fit the both of us."

[@slaveteri]

Honestly, that's where i thought to story was going to go, at first.

[@RetroArcadeGuy]

I would have implied I was lesbian. You know how Karens reacts to same-gender-attracted people...

[@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339]

Haha that’s hilarious. Gonna use this the next time it happens to me! 😂

[@lokilaufeyson7035]

"could've"

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

Nah, you turn and ask “Did Vinnie send you? I told him I’ll have the money by tonight!”

[@bjarkeistruppedersen8213]

Dad joke time... My daugther yelled at me: "DAD... Are you even listening???" I just thought to myself: "What a weird way to start a conversation..."

[@69BaseMechanic]

My X used to start conversations the same way.....

[@vincentweatherly9991]

@@69BaseMechanic but screaming dad?

[@qbrooks3203]

i was sitting here for 5 minutes trying to figure out what the joke was, then i died.

[@CBulles]

@@vincentweatherly9991 don’t kink shame lol

[@ridingwolf5022]

@@CBulles no...just no....

[@nixiemartian4658]

Imagine someone kindly offering to cook you a pizza and you complain about them using a couple tbsp more of sauce on their own 💀

[@breezy3392]

Petty and dumb

[@estebanfernandez4870]

And yelling st them any lesser being would leave the house

[@IntegriTee]

It's just sad

[@jamesnorman9160]

Honestly, sounds like OP's fmaily have some issues owing to that reaction over the pizza sauce of all things.

[@kyanshi]

and thus you trick them into ruining their own pizza lol OP's family sound pretty dang toxic if you ask me but they're stupid enough to fall for such an obvious trap so eh

[@realbadger]

A longtime family tale: In the early years of their marriage, my parents would have my father's brother Bill over for dinner on occasion. My mother would make spaghetti, Bill's favorite dish, and to her aghast horror he would over season the spaghetti with salt (until it was white), and pepper (until it was black), and mix it all up together on the plate after she had served it. Occasionally she would say "Bill, it's perfectly seasoned, you don't need that much salt and pepper" and "Why don't you at least try it first?" Bill would always respond "Oh, it's never enough salt and pepper for me.." So one such dinner, my mother took aside Bill's plate, and put as much salt and pepper on it as she would witness him doing. After she served it, she told him, "Bill, I took special care to season it the way I'm sure you will like it. Try it first, and you'll see you do *not* need to season it any more." Bill retorted, "No, *I* know how to season my spaghetti..." And he proceeded to do the exact same thing. When the first forkful entered his mouth, there was a slow freezing of expression on his face as his eyes widened in horror and surprise. Bill continued to eat Every Single Bite from his plate in dead silence, tears streaming down his face from the now over-seasoned food. From then on, he *always* tried his spaghetti first...

[@maggpiprime954]

Well, props to Bill for eating his just desserts!! 😂😂

[@TheUltima_Werewolf]

XD

[@Kelaiah01]

That reminds me of a story I was told about my step-great-grandpa, nicknamed "Slim." From what I've been told, he was "salt-addict", always piling on salt all over his dishes. One day, my grandma (this was back when she was still a young-ish mother) took her kids on a day-trip, and passed by a place that was selling jerky. She bought some, figuring it would make a nice cheap dinner for when they got back home. Unfortunately, all the kids complained that it was too salty, and after tasting it herself, my grandma agreed, so she just made everyone regular sandwiches. Slim came in, asked if he could have some of the leftover jerky, and Grandma told him, "Go ahead, you might like it, but don't bother putting any salt on it, TRUST me." So what does Slim do? Why, he COVERS the already too salty jerky with salt, just like he always did. So what happened next? "....This is the BEST DAMN THING I've ever eaten!" XD

[@grae5702]

@@Kelaiah01 this reminds me of a tale from my childhood So basically I was a dumb child and while I saw my Grandma putting salt on her food my 5yo brain made the association with sugar (tbh it does look similar so) and there was a big gold S on the salt shaker so I thought it was s for SUGAR not s for SALT so I pick it up and dumped the largest quantity of "sugar" on my Mac n cheese? (This was 10 years ago) and I mix it in with my family in shock I take a bite and then promptly run to the bathroom to vomit. They did switch the plate while I was doing that They're good people but they wouldn't stop me because it was one of the many lessons of life

[@Kelaiah01]

@@grae5702 Hah! Oh you poor thing. But yeah, you're right: salt and sugar are virtually identical, they can be easily mixed up. In fact, when I was a kid, my mom took me and my sister out to a burger joint (I think it was a Carl's Jr) and I went to get extra salt packets... except I grabbed the sugar packets. My mom and I dumped the contents all over our fries, and discovered just how disgusting sugar on fries are. XD I was embarrassed, but I've long learned to laugh about it. And thankfully, it doesn't get brought up a lot anyway.

[@adataylor4956]

Yes! They think you are going to get something better than them so they try to follow you and beat you to it.

[@SilverVolo]

People are crazy

[@NotUnique_]

Not necessarily.. some of the customers that do that where I work have no idea what is it that they want so badly and do it just because they can do it Like an old lady came to purchase a 3 in 1 compact powder.. and another came to purchase concealer and contour pallette and I was showing her and the lady started asking if we have one in her skin tone .. and yea we do and i didn't notice that the other lady the old one is listening to our conversation until she demanded the exact same thing she's white but on the darker shade like idk how to describe it but more like poorly tanned and the other lady is on the pinkish pale side anyway she started following her and buying everything the other lady examined....like wtaf at the end she bought 400 worth of makeup and the other girl pretended to be on the phone until she left and then she continued shopping

[@SgtRageface]

Happens a lot during special sales. I remember one year I was hired to do security for Walmart during black Fri. Over where the DVD sales were you could see people watching others dig around the bins. As soon as someone found a good movie or one they wanted, that's when they'd strike. Had a few fights to break-up over discount trilogy movies.

[@jimbob1483]

that's the most karen thing i've ever heard of

[@TknoelTellsStories]

Everyone’s all, “Rslash making all these puns now that he’s a dad,” and I’m just sitting here like, “Wasn’t he doing that even before he had a kid?”

[@beckyhartley9502]

Ikr, it's like they didn't pay attention before.

[@Ajehy]

He was always a dad in his soul.

[@ArcanineEspeon]

Maybe it starts at conception...of the idea of a baby.

[@rhuancandeia7468]

Not all pun masters are dads, but all dad's are pun masters

[@Kruhee]

I'm always astonished by people who are buttholes to someone who does something for them, then get surprised their butthole behavior make them no longer want to do that thing. Sorry you lost your money dude, maybe learn to act like a sensible person next time and you'll actually have cash in your savings account.

[@richardtaveras3642]

Still a D hole move by OP

[@NoxHowl]

@@richardtaveras3642 I don't think so - if OP didn't "stepped in" - the douche money would still be flown away. OP just let nature be nature.

[@annied1827]

I once found a wallet on a bus with over £1000 in it it took it to the police the officer asked for my details as he was sure that the owner would want to thank me, few days later the officer called me furious as the owner had told him that I was stupid b**** for returning it as any normal person would have kept it after all that was his going out wallet and £1000 was pocket change, so the officer noticed he had parked his very expensive car in the no parking area with huge signs saying basically you park here you get a huge fine he normally let's it go as parking is awful in that area, so he fined him to teach him a lesson the guy was not happy he said to him don't know why your complaining you saw the signs you still parked there and you just said the money you lost was pocket change so I'm pretty sure you can afford the fines !! He paid and left we both laughed about it

[@richardtaveras3642]

@@NoxHowl he could’ve just given him the cheque and move on instead of being petty though

[@trainwreck2377]

@@richardtaveras3642 that would mean the guy who lost the check wouldn’t learn

[@nogoat]

Revenge is a dish best served with sauce.

[@nickylovesyou]

yesss

[@katherinemoss4822]

Hot sauce, at that😉

[@trustyrat8632]

They must be lost in the sauce

[@casperartss]

S a u c y

[@NitroMemes]

And dipped in ranch (if you like that)

[@DomGaming-qd3vr]

R/ has been supplying an increasing amount of dad jokes of late. r/ is now evolving Your r/ evolved into a dad/

[@27aphelps]

Brilliant

[@shivangiparekh4980]

*dad jokes intensifies*

[@bloopitsbloob]

More like FATHE-r/

[@shivangiparekh4980]

@@bloopitsbloob THIS!!!!

[@pokefan124]

YESSSS

[@ashtonschakat1445]

As an ex retail worker that's exactly what people do. They will loiter around the store begging for money and wont leave you alone unless you pay them.

[@BDM276]

Can't you just trespass them?

[@phoenixgaming3488]

Kick them out. They have no right to bother staff or customers. It isn't that hard.

[@RudesMom]

@@phoenixgaming3488 Pretty sure corporate won't approve of that. All it takes is a carefully edited video to make the sales staff, and therefore the company, look like monsters.

[@phoenixgaming3488]

@@RudesMom there are ways to kick someone out with out being rude.

[@RudesMom]

@@phoenixgaming3488 There are ways to TRY to kick someone out without being rude. Sometimes they even work. You definitely start there and hope for the best.

[@jnmsks6052]

Ugh, I've definitely had women right next to me looking at the same rack despite the fact there are plenty of racks with NOBODY looking at the clothes on them. I mean, if there is a specific rack I want to look at due to what is on that rack, and someone is already there, I will at least start at the opposite side to give the person who was there first some room and avoid being a dang Karen. This has happened to me at TJ Max before as well, and when this happens, I make sure to get as close to the interloper as possible, since they're the one who caused this in the first place.

[@mirandanils5114]

I used to work at Marshall’s and this was so annoying bc I was tryna fix clothes and they’d get in my way

[@strawberrysoulforever8336]

It was unavoidable last Saturday during a sale at this outlet store. You could barely move most of the time, so you were always shadowing someone no matter where you were. I remember someone complaining about how everything was size eight, and I told them that there was a gorgeous skirt in sizes sixteen to twenty further back (very true - I wanted the skirt, but all of the sizes left were too big). If you're wondering, I eventually found a woolen miniskirt with a check pattern that had a tone in common with my pale gold jumper in my size.

[@scottbecker4367]

Nobody: rSlash: Sunday? More like Punday.

[@fanfictiondreamer7836]

The puns are strong with this one today

[@gemrock]

You'll often see people like Karen at yard sales and second hand stores following people around just like that. They think you are grabbing all of the good stuff. I remember this old lady following me around and grabbing everything I picked up then put down. So I just started picking up the most random things and she put them all into her basket.

[@breezy3392]

If you put it back down, then obviously it's not good, so what is the logic there?

[@bronzegears6281]

RSlash is just practicing his dad jokes on us before he starts telling them to his kid in a couple years

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

Rather that piece or pizza, I'd go with "slice de resistànce"

[@kitkatkarebear11]

piece de resaucestance

[@Olav_Hansen]

the first story is perfect. They literally tried to be petty about it and ended up screwing themselves over.

[@breezy3392]

Why don't they rush ahead of you then to get in front?

[@smol_yote]

I’ve never heard of people shadowing others at stores. Is this a regional thing or not an American thing?

[@senecarus_whitur]

Hasn’t really happened to me either. I am from Germany, btw 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@emilyemily9831]

I’m an American and it’s definitely happened to me a few times

[@getsueinaito]

Never heard of it either, just sounds strange and a waste of time. At first I was thinking it would be a case of, "I don't work here lady/petty revenge" but oh well.

[@smol_yote]

@@emilyemily9831 I was born in California and live in Utah, I’ve never seen this. It might be a regional thing

[@trippymarsi318]

I usually get followed/shadowed when I'm at shopping centres or at malls. I live in Germany and I think it's mostly because of how I dress since I've had police stop me right outside and them wanting to search me... I don't steal btw I just dress kinda "thuggish"

[@childofthesea7345]

For the first story, why didn't OP go last for making their pizza? I like a little extra butter on my baked potato so I always use it last when we have it so everyone else gets it so no one complains. Probably this is just me avoiding conflict 😅

[@lasagnalovingcat5335]

The shadow shopping happens. It's a shopping equivalent of being alone in the bathroom and someone walks in and stands at the urinal next to you even though there are ten open urinals. I'm sure rSlash is probably more familiar with the bathroom version.

[@ChrisMaxfieldActs]

Or your seat in the nearly empty movie theater.

[@lasagnalovingcat5335]

@@ChrisMaxfieldActs It's been so long since I've been to movies that I forgot about that one, lol

[@RagingRaven88]

@@ChrisMaxfieldActs This exact thing happened to me before the pandemic. The movie theater was completely empty, I take off my coat, settle my bag on top of it, and take a seat. Karen comes in and sits right next to me, man spreading all of her stuff around us and says she's waiting for someone else. She then coughs and starts playing games on her phone with the volume up. After a while I had had enough, got all my stuff and moved to another spot, far away from her. More people come in, get settled and the movie starts. Turns out Karen was there by herself and she just wanted her own row. I know that I technically let her win her way, but I had snuck into the theater myself and I didn't want to start anything that would get me kicked out lol.

[@wasabi5538]

The parents in the first story got lost in the sauce.

[@1985toyotacamry]

Lol true

[@dracko158]

Mom: *Smugly dumps whole jar of sauce on the pizza* OP: *"You have activated my trap card!"*

[@DragonMike-ft8ej]

It's about time Hungry Burger got a support card

[@scottbecker4367]

@@DragonMike-ft8ej Saucy Revenge If a Hungry Burger is destroyed by battle or card effect, special summon one Hungry Pizza from your hand or deck.

[@lonelyronin2428]

God, this thread is glorious.

[@m2pt5]

I actually thought of the George Bush "you just fell for the trap", both on that and the spiked Snickers.

[@ryanthompson5761]

The shadowing happened too me about 6 years back maybe more, it was when fallout 4 first came out so it's probably longer, i had a pre order of the game so i was all set, i said to cashier "hey mate i am getting the game just going too have a look around see if there is anything else i want" the guy said "Okay mate your game's here when your ready". So Karen and her son, followed me from by the tills around the bargain bucket (games under £10) round the PC section I picked up Football Manager at the time, and a she matched me with a sarcastic smile, round by the PS games, where i looked at fallout 4 it was the only one there, as soon as i put it down she rushed and picked it up, and looking like she just won the lottery, she stood behind me, and said "too bad you put it down and me and my son picked it up", i said "yeah too bad" When the cashier said "Sir he is your copy of fallout 4" he face changed too a lava red looked i simply said with a troll face smile "but i did love" I think i am a karen magnet now.

[@natedas6715]

Just bruh... for this karen

[@ManlyStump]

Fallout 4 came out in November 2015, so not quite 5.5 years ago ;)

[@ryanthompson5761]

@@ManlyStump Like i said ABOUT :-)

[@ManlyStump]

@@ryanthompson5761 But you also said "it was when fallout 4 first came out so it's probably longer" ;)

[@redneckraccoon]

@@ManlyStump no need to nitpick, not everyone has exact memories of dates or bothers to look it up before they post

[@Xolivas1]

Hehe. That photographer story was great and a great lesson. If you're gonna rant and insult someone in a different language, keep it to yourself. Because you never know if the person you're insulting might speak the same language as you.

[@songohan3321]

The best revenge is when the target does all the work for you.

[@chriscarpenter3370]

name an example 😈

[@songohan3321]

@@chriscarpenter3370 The first story of this video.

[@chriscarpenter3370]

@@songohan3321 very good point

[@zekromtrainer1222]

Winning by doing nothing is sweet very sweet

[@chriscarpenter3370]

@@zekromtrainer1222 too sweet!

[@13BGunBunny]

"If this guy thought that it hurts going in, then just wait until it comes out." I died :'-D

[@MyDogIsYoshi]

The gift that keeps on giving

[@krystencabbage1032]

“Hey Rslash, how do you choose stories for your videos?” “Well, first I think of what pun I can say about it”

[@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339]

Wouldn’t surprise me if that was his real answer

[@ziggy2002art]

I've had the same thing happen to me while shopping. People think you're going to find something before them. This is especially true at discount stores, estate sales, antique stores, etc, anywhere there aren't large stocks of the same item.

[@megendoherty380]

Yes on the last story! It happens alot! I've dealt with this annoyance quite often! I just tell them to back off and go hassle someone else , while giving them the death glare!😑

[@oliviaksiag6163]

OP is a better person than me, I would have straight up told the guy "You shouldn't have eaten a snickers bar that isn't yours,"

[@prinegonbevaris1788]

Then you misunderstood the intention of OP. Instead of just telling him, he got caught redhanded, he first humiliated the thief with needless medical examinations in front of his colleages. It never was about easing his discomfort, but making a fool out of him and giving his workmates a good laugh.

[@anguspodgorny2283]

What I want to know is why a paramedic decided, “Yes, poisoning my food is not only the appropriate escalation but also a morally and legally OK thing to do.” As a reminder, setting booby traps with the intent to cause someone harm is a crime. It doesnt matter if they’re trespassing, it doesnt matter if theyre stealing - youre still committing a crime, and honestly, a worse crime than someone stealing your food since in nearly 100% of these stories they make the food inedibly spicy which can cause people to get legitimately sick if theyre allergic to a spice or have some underlying medical condition. Inb4 “its just a story” - that only counts in fiction and this is assumed to be non-fiction.

[@oliviaksiag6163]

@@anguspodgorny2283 You sound real fun at parties. Do you realize that people have the right to kill someone if they are trespassing or in the process of robbing someone? Of course that's for much bigger crimes that stealing a candy bar, but it's still justified. If the ass hadn't been stealing so often that he took to bait right away, he wouldn't have eaten hot sauce.

[@anguspodgorny2283]

@@oliviaksiag6163 You’re an idiot. No, you dont have the right to kill someone if theyre trespassing. You have a right to defend yourself against threat of harm even at the cost of another persons life - this is a HUGE difference. Its called “pre-meditation.” If you KNOW someone is going to trip your booby trap and the trap is designed to harm, maim, or kill someone then you are NOT killing in self-defense. And again, it doesnt matter if theyre stealing your food. There are better ways to deal with that situation that dont require you to literally poison someone.

[@oliviaksiag6163]

@@anguspodgorny2283 Then how would you have dealt with it? Called him an idiot and then sat back with one thumb in your mouth and the other in your ass? Also, the guy did a medical check, so it's not like he poisoned him, hot sauce doesn't really count as poison. Yes, allergies are a thing, but I'm pretty sure allergies to peppers are kind of rare.

[@theloudartist]

Me and my dad listening to this over coffee Rslash; *makes dad jokes* Papa: *looks at the screen* no one makes dad jokes but me, you would do well to remember that Me: *dying is of laughing*

[@Lovuschka]

"ruining pizza" "petty revenge" For me that sounds like nuclear revenge. But then maybe they don't like pizza.

[@Nanaki404]

No, ruining just 1 pizza is not nuclear (more like prorevenge). True nuclear revenge would be ruining several pizzas by breaking the oven or something.

[@Lovuschka]

@@Nanaki404 I was obviously joking by exaggerating pizza. :-)

[@sakura368]

the fact that their mother managed to teach them russian is neat, but the fact that they could speak it FLUENTLY infront of russians is even more neat

[@LilMissPunchingBag]

In my family, we call it "Shadow Shopping" or "Ghost Shopping" It's a shopping technique use during mostly the holiday seasons or trying to buy gifts The point of it is to find a victim at looks to have great taste or seem very well off and follow them, and it helps ya see items that you never thought of seeing on your own or find the good shit. Then, like Swiper the Fox style, you take it before they do. I have never done this, but my mom has 3 times, one of them ended with her getting punched in the throat, cause she snatched something from a kid.

[@m2pt5]

Maybe she'll think twice before trying it again. Probably not though.

[@SprocketsandLupins]

Sounds like she deserved it. Your family sounds pretty awful

[@SAJK0KAT]

Ooff now I have a word for it thanks! I haaaaaate people who “ghost shopping”. It’s happening to me all the time and I hate when people breathe in my neck. Uurg. 🤢

[@jmie5]

Thank you so much for explaining, I was so damn confused.

[@LilMissPunchingBag]

@@SprocketsandLupins Just my mom, my dad is mega chill

[@solidacid1337]

That thumbnail. I live about 100 meters from a pizzeria that has a had a sign outside for about 6 months now advertising "ALL NEW - pizza with ham and kiwi!" I can't even imagine it, to me it sounds awful.

[@erinfinn2273]

@rSlash Pretty sure the "store shadowing" thing is some power dynamic behavior. Like...they get off on getting things before the other person, and I think that makes them feel superior or "in control" or something.

[@neffyg35]

I would just stop and scream for security that someone is trying to rob me. Lol

[@erinfinn2273]

@@neffyg35 Not an unreasonable response, honestly.

[@Yumi_Jay]

As an Autistic woman that would terrified me having someone invade what space I have. I too would screamed and accidentally hit them because I get scared when I am not expecting others.

[@TheSwiftAssassin7113]

I've heard some weird power fantasies but these people take the cake.

[@bcase5328]

The persons, who do this are sad and silly at the least. Maybe, they need keepers because they don't act like intelligent adults.

[@trippymarsi318]

So Op in the first story literally made them eat their own words😂

[@thisisachannel.780]

dadslash and i making the same jokes is kinda scaring me…. i think he’s influencing my humor

[@chriscarpenter3370]

uh-oh

[@AkromaBlade]

ACTUALLY!!! "Si, perro poquito* translates to "Yes, not enough dog".... the extra R there makes all difference

[@tookitogo]

And it actually said “perro porquito”, which I choose to interpret as “porky dog” because why not? 😂 🐷

[@ScooterBond1970]

"My favorite Spanish dish is arroz con zapatos." "You know what you just said?" "..." "Rice with shoes."

[@00RoxPink]

you forgot the "porquito"

[@arandomviewerthatdrinkshot8091]

OH GOD HE HAS STARTED MAKING DAD JOKES

[@PirateShux]

Do you drink hot chocolate?

[@arandomviewerthatdrinkshot8091]

@@PirateShux yes

[@PirateShux]

@@arandomviewerthatdrinkshot8091 awesome

[@Ajehy]

“Started” making dad jokes? What channel have you been watching?

[@ifferentday1813]

rSlash Has a kid: Now I can make dad jokes

[@digitalharmony26]

The last story is absolutely fascinating. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Thank you to the people who explained it below. Some people you genuinely have to worry about.

[@maggpiprime954]

I think if anyone ever tries to do this stupid shadow trick on me, I'll look them dead in the eyes and ask them how much my daddy is paying them. "Huh?" "I'm not supposed to know I have bodyguards. Sooo... you wanna _wait_ to get fired, or just quit now?" Either they think I might have goons following me or just think I'm crazy, suits me fine if the results are the same.

[@samuelrussell7003]

Who tf argues about pizza sauce 😂😂😂

[@susangrande8142]

The OP’s parents, that’s who. 😅

[@necromora666]

Isn't there a British/Australian phrase about "Taking the piss"? Lol

[@sianabrooker2434]

yes. very much so. I was think more along the lines of "this'll get you pissed" meaning drunk in England

[@Kannagms]

I've never as a customer had someone stalk me like that through a store but it happens a lot when I'm working in retail. I ask them constantly if they need assistance but they always just say nope just looking. Its super creepy and even worse when they try to follow me into the warehouse

[@jefffoo6891]

Day 110 of telling him he's making everyone day better

[@thenicnacshack1322]

Have a Good Day Jeff

[@MY-KEL]

Spicy Nuggets

[@Dani-lq9zx]

Day one of saying true

[@nethanerusia9531]

*yes*

[@qjamiep]

Damn this has gone for nearly a third of a year cool

[@ydrahkcin]

I always feel for the people with alcoholic parents. My parents become people I actively avoid after they have been drinking, but thankfully it is quite rare. Once my mother decided to try to ground me for a month because the dvd player was refusing to play a dvd. Because apparently the 13 year old is the one who has total control over it all. I just ignored her and then she forgot about it the next day. I cant imagine going through that every day.

[@TwoFaded1]

The one about the dress, yes it happens alot. Onetime me and my mother were shopping in a low budget store and then this lady follows us around taking the things I or my mom reach for. When my mother asked her why he hell she was doing this she says it's because she wanted them first. Then she gets a call and gets into a shouting match with the person on the phone. Then my mother hears the words "yes I'll pick up a pecan pie." My mother gives me a look then I take off to the bakery area and ask for a pecan pie. There was 2 left and i grabbed both of them and go back to my mother. The lady looks at me and then walks off to the bakery area. My mom then told me she snagged the items out of the woman's cart and we then went to the check out. When its our then we hear and "excuse me" as the lady glared at us and pointed at the pie. "I need that it's the last one, and you have two." My mom tells her no as this woman is shouting and telling us off. We Then check out leave the store and low and behold the lady walks out a few minutes later and looks at us while we load our car. None of my family likes pecan pie so my mom looks her dead in the eyes and grabs both of the pies spits in them then drops then on the road. The lady yells and screeches at us as we laugh and leave. (We did clean up the pie so the workers wouldn't have to)

[@Emeraldwitch30]

Right before Thanksgiving about 12 years ago a nasty Karen was making one if my favorite sample girls at the super market cry because she couldn't find evaporated milk she needed. Sample cart folks don't even work for the super market they are like subcontractors. Poor girl had no clue except to point out that the end cap she was near said "on special carnations evaporated milk" and it was sold out. I had just been down the baking aisle and saw a can or 2 on the shelf so I walked over to the aisle and grabbed the last 2 cans in the store. As I walked back past the sniffling girl and the woman (who looked like she was about to catch a breath and start round 2 of nasty behavior) I mentioned "have you bothered to go down the baking aisle for it? " and showed my 2 cans. I walked away. Well the nasty woman took off and the sample gal got to take a break while her boss took over. Il standing in line and hear a huge ruckus of the nasty Karen being told to leave the store for being obnoxious. I just held up the cans and waved as she went by. Her face was priceless 🤣 But I ended up with 2 cans of evaporated milk I wasn't sure what to do with. I ended up making several pumpkin pie for my family 🥧 totally worth it

[@susangrande8142]

LOL!! 😂 That was BRILLIANT petty revenge! I bow to your and your mother’s pettiness! 🙏 It must have been soo satisfying! LOL!!! What a great story!

[@metalhed3815]

I love petty revenge stories. It's the little wins that make life worth living while you are waiting for a bigger win.

[@CeleraTheFlyingDog]

the puns are strong in this one you're a great dad

[@FirearmsEngineering]

Urine in beer story adds a whole new meaning to the phrase "piss drunk"

[@BobBlumenfeld]

Regarding the windy check segment: The guy was really angry at the wind, but it's easier to yell at the first human being he ran into.

[@chaosreaver3597]

I hate that, I shout at a person, I'm told to calm down. I shout at nature and suddenly I'm not all there apparently. The societal norm should be the other way round.

[@royalcookie9119]

The power of dad jokes is *FLOWING* through rslash

[@erikenqvist9081]

Pizza, burgers, and tacos are just hot sandwiches.

[@richardtaveras3642]

So is pizza just a sandwich with no top bun?

[@restionSerpentine]

@@richardtaveras3642 "A sandwich is a meat or poultry filling between two slices of bread, a bun or a biscuit." That excludes items like burritos, wraps or hot dogs. Sadly there have been court cases about this.

[@elizabethhoran9268]

@@restionSerpentine but what if the bun breaks on a hot dog, is it now a sandwich

[@thezombieonyourlawn3023]

@@elizabethhoran9268 but then your hotdog would fall on the floor

[@elliotwarren1090]

Hot sandwiches are just tacos

[@TheFalseEsquire]

I love how RSLASH’s dad jokes are getting stronger

[@EternalLostsEternalHell]

That thumbnail took 20 years off my life.

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

That pizza story was beautifully and hilariously written! I laughed so hard I woke and spooked my cat lol

[@randomrebecka6778]

Yes there are people that literally just follow other people around stores like that. Especially women for some reason. Whenever I go thrift store shopping I've had it happen a couple times where women will literally try to jump in front of you as you're looking through things and take things. It's so annoying. If there's something I really want I will stay and just try and grab it first and I've actually done that where I bought something that they tried to take from me. There have been times I don't have the energy though and just leave which I swear that's what they're trying to get you to do. It's like a control thing the way people will ride your butt when you're driving.

[@maxasoyt9269]

"That's what you call a Checkmate" I laughed to much at this 😅

[@lucasgreenwood7340]

This dude makes everyone’s day better.

[@LucidValkyrie]

The delivery of your puns today has been impeccable - I'm hope you're enjoying your newfound dad joke powers!

[@pugmcmuffins9282]

Rslash: *reading these posts as a new dad. He looks into the sunset as a soft wind blows* "My time has come..." *proceeds to make all the dad jokes and puns* Me: I'm so happy. 😂

[@MadJess_Tik]

The ‘Fly-Away Check’ story made me lmao!!! 😂😂😂😂

[@darrylhamlin7475]

Does it bug anyone else when you’re reading along and notice he’s changed the story?

[@DyrosLazarus]

Sometimes he rewrites a bit of it to make it sound better when speaking the words, but other times he just messes up

[@Yumi_Jay]

I think its more of clarity. If I recall correctly he went to college for an English degree.

[@screamoneo]

Like when he says "my mother is russian and i speak fluent russian" but then the script says 'my mother is russian and speaks fluent russian, but never bothered to teach me'

[@MattieAnne]

the kid definitely should've served his dad beer with a "have fun getting pissed" 😘🤌

[@Defektyd]

r/slash has been spending time with his daughter, I see.

[@xpetya3673]

IM DYING, THESE PUNS ARE WAY TOO GOOD. please continue with them rslash

[@ZippoIII]

me: Oh I can't wait for another Rslash video R/Pettyrevenge: yes you can, see you tomorrow

[@queenofputrescence5167]

If there is a half jar of sauce left over each time, throw that sauce in a container and put it in the freezer for next time!

[@paul_warner]

6:07 RSlash: "my mom is Russian and I speak it fluently" OP: "my mom speaks fluently, she never taught me" Seriously, dude, just READ WHAT THEY WRITE.

[@wagwan8278]

That first story really sauced up my day

[@richewilson6394]

The story with the sock Mom I would definitely be taking money out of her instead of her socks to stop her from drinking and pay back for telling me that I should have been aborted

[@Blacksunday13]

The dad puns are definitely on point rslash.

[@yamiab]

I’ve been followed in the store and I’m not sure what OP’s race is but it’s a big factor as to why people usually just follow you when you’re shopping

[@neffyg35]

This wasn't someone that worked in the store, just a Karen of a shopper. From what others are saying this is some weird power move people do to make sure they get the best stuff. I don't really understand it but yeah

[@nils920]

I can never get enough of stories involving food thieves getting busted! Especially when they're caught by strong laxatives or extreme seasoning!

[@malettuce]

Rslash is full of puns today huh

[@dgbeats4159]

Rslash coming in with the clever quips and puns😂😂

[@acappuccino8410]

Rslash, the "pizza de resistance" joke was a little... *cheesy*. I'll see myself out.

[@screamoneo]

Get back in here and make more puns

[@berniechro4341]

Cheese you later!

[@ravelterthetraveler]

Cheesus crust, get back here and make more puns!

[@acappuccino8410]

@@ravelterthetraveler sorry man, I got nothing. You made a good one tho.

[@lizi6056]

*Rslash has baby* Dad jokes 🔓unlocked ✅

[@LowkeySF]

My schedule everyday at 16:00 is reserved for Rslash and nothing else✌

[@danielvandenberg1388]

For me it’s 15:00, must be timezones

[@eurovision50]

That guy missed the opportunity to say 'Sorry I used the extra sauce - looks like you don't have enough.'

[@lillyvonshtup7314]

You’re on a “ punny” roll today

[@nerroworks7562]

4:00 they became the sock goblin

[@thenicnacshack1322]

Whoever sees this have a amazing day

[@nx5_]

Same to u, kind sir

[@ReneOlivaresJ]

"Sí, perro poquito" = "Yes, DOG little"... LOL!

[@d4comreal]

been subscribed for a month, never knew he uploaded when I wake up im an early riser

[@Alexander-dg6bu]

7:16 "Si perro poquito" literally translates to "Yes dog little". The translation op mentions, "Yes but a little" is actually "So pero un poquito"

[@Corbonzobean]

FINALLY I'M EARLY AF

[@andrejhofer2007]

Same lol

[@AestheticWaif]

Lol

[@27aphelps]

Can you explain? Why the hell do you children care so much about being first? Is it like being first in line to walk in the halls in school? No, it wouldn't be like that, becuase when you get in line you're waiting for something.

[@AestheticWaif]

@@27aphelps children? I'm probably older than you lol To answer your question, it's fun!

[@27aphelps]

@@AestheticWaif Sure.

[@mandykawaii1646]

“Si, perro porquito” - yes, dog little pig 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I hope this was on purpose

[@t0x1nzz37]

Hi mr slash I’m back again but you probably don’t remember me you like my comment a long time ago

[@notoriouswhitemoth]

Regarding the socks... _laughs in passive-aggressive asymmetry_ On the shopping, the closest thing I've eve encountered is store staff shadowing customers they suspect of shoplifting

[@user54363]

First

[@Zisn]

Yeah

[@vinniefoxall493]

Darn your fast

[@donnyboyo32]

No I was

[@theguywhowantstoplaygames397]

actule second

[@Zisn]

@@donnyboyo32 he is first

[@susansusan6612]

Shadow Caren story - yup, I swear, every time I’m out shopping, I get people that jump in front of me, usually with a cart, they know d*mn well what they are doing……

[@ladykatie8204]

Now that rslash is a dad the dad jokes have gone into overdrive and I LOVE IT!

[@alexisbooth8034]

Rslash is being real brave with all these puns

[@13BGunBunny]

No more PuppyBloopers? Where are the BabyBloopers? I demand to speak with the manager immediately!

[@vengeance4927]

I have a feeling you chose these stories because you could make puns out of them XD I love them, keep it up!