r/AmITheA--hole for Making My Mom Homeless?

[@evavocative6975]

Story 2: The Cake-pop one had an update where the Dad was SUPER pissed at his GF they had a fight. He took back all the stuff that she bought HER kid, and sent both of them to a motel. He decided when they apologized to his daughter, and daughter was ready to see them again, when he got the full story that his daughter got NOTHING, he took the next day off of work and was doing something special with just him and his daughter! Pretty sure he is doing good to make up for his GF being a piece of garbage to his daughter, and making it clear that his DAUGHTER is his priority, not GF.

[@BeefMeisterSupreme]

It's r/slash we are talking about here, he is notorious for both the occasional bad take to drive views and the inability to do due dilligence reading stories

[@SerratedSun5841]

@@BeefMeisterSupreme yup lately it’s been getting worse and he’s reaching just to give unjust AH scores

[@CidVeldoril]

@@SerratedSun5841 Only to guys though.

[@SerratedSun5841]

@@CidVeldoril right? Like what’s his issue

[@CidVeldoril]

@@SerratedSun5841 Especially funny seeing how he always goes off on men "freeloading" off of their wives or girlfriends, but also shames men who "Don't support their wives or girlfriends".

[@anno_mundi]

Update to the girl not getting a cake pop: the dad confronted the woman, sent her and her daughter to live in a hotel, took the things they bought to return it the next day. He really stood up for his girl

[@itsOasus]

Oh good!

[@chloemcglinchey6585]

Yay for OP and her dad!

[@LightningDSZane]

Still annoyed R Slash didn’t give the dad a 0

[@msredux]

The story was updated on the same day, it should have been here

[@dracko158]

I thought the dad didn't do anything about and maybe defending her actions, but he actually did a good job as a dad. Kudos to him!

[@smorphous8928]

So her logic of keeping the peace means kicking her own son out of his own home just so her husband can feel more of a man? 😂

[@Guyver2391]

You’d be surprised what a parent is willing to do for their happiness in a relationship. It took my moms ex husband and I nearly coming to a fist fight (it didn’t happen because she stepped in the middle) for her to get the message he was a piece of shit

[@black1917]

Yep, this sub alone is filled with stories like that.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

Right? The audacity to even try the "I'm the man of the house" move on the person who actually owns the house

[@JoyZoneYT]

I don't call that "keeping the peace", I call that selfishness

[@carmillastephens9497]

That's what I took from it 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@threegsgaming6959]

Second story: NTA. The girlfriend was supposed to treat BOTH OP and her daughter on the outing, hence the $300. The dad deserves to know that she didn’t spend a dime on OP.

[@gemrock]

The story had amazing update. Basically the dad said his girlfriend would be returning everything that they bought and her and daughter will be staying in a motel room until she felt comfortable letting them back. Even promised to take her out for a special day

[@featherton3381]

I don’t understand why Rslash rarely reads updates. Those are usually the best part!

[@gemrock]

@@featherton3381 it didn't come out until after he filmed the video

[@FlatEarthKiller]

The girlfriend is goofy AHH.

[@itsOasus]

@@featherton3381 If there's an update at the time that he filmed, then he typically will read the update. If I had to guess, maybe the reason he missed this one was because it was in the comment section

[@ne0n564]

"My mom wasn't abusive" Proceeds to say signs of abuse

[@antonyduhamel1166]

I think he meant physically abusive.

[@dracko158]

I'd say it's more of favoritism.

[@ne0n564]

@@antonyduhamel1166 Yeah you're right tbh , I still feel like it was a lil emotional abuse but as someone said favoritism is more fitting

[@survivedandthriving]

@@dracko158 favouritism IS abusive. Mental and emotional health are still health and still 'count'.

[@KumiChan2004]

When most people think of abuse they thing of physical abuse. But the mental scars can be much worse. As most people cannot see them. And sometimes being mentally abused, the person being abused is conditioned to think that it's not abuse.

[@lemmymaster]

Rslash, there's an update on the second story. Op's father tore his girlfriend a new one and made he bring back everything she bought for herself and her daughter, the he promises op to get a Starbuck and cake pop next time. The dad isn't an a-hole.

[@charlottehardy822]

Was looking to see if someone had put this. Dad stepped up when he found what happened and I believe the reaction was also a break in Dads relationship.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@charlottehardy822 Yes, and a resounding No. Lemmy missed quite a bit of the update and the comments from the post itself. In the comments, it's pointed out that this bullying has obviously been going on for a bit, based on OP's dad's responses. But most notably - He didn't break up with his girlfriend nor make her return the stuff. He says He will return the stuff, so we'll have to wait to see if that actually happens. However, like I said, he isn't breaking up with the girlfriend, instead he is PAYING for her and her daughter to stay at a nice hotel for 3 months until OP "goes back to her mom's home". That implies he will be taking the girlfriend and daughter back into his home once OP leaves. If he was planning on breaking up with her, why pay for a hotel for 3 months? That's expensive. If it was an "illegal eviction" issue, then why not use that same amount of money, help her get an apartment in her own name, and put that same amount of money to the rent? That way it would be more permanent that she's out. I know if someone was bullying my child, I wouldn't pay for them to live at a nice hotel for 3 months! A rich guy like him has access to lawyers, he could find 101 legal ways to get GF out the same day with less expense and reward for her bad behavior, but again, lawyers would make it a permanent break up. I'm willing to bet, if there is an update in 3 months, that the dad took the GF back and she'll "promise to do better next time, pinky promise!".

[@sa4ru328]

I dont see his logic in giving the dad a a-hole score, specially when that could be the first time OP was mistreated/told him. Good to hear he stood up for her

[@rjlangaman4741]

Can you send a link

[@GinOwl]

@@sa4ru328 maybe he misunderstood what the dad was saying idk forgot most of the story 😓

[@Mekabear1991]

Honestly, your maths for the rent was pretty spot on for here. Honestly if they saved their money up during that time there would have been no reason why they wouldn't have been able to afford a house of their own. They just wanted to cheat OP and figured they would just be allowed to live rent free forever

[@thetruth1816]

The " mom " to op :" let my man and me cheat you out of half a million dollars because we're FaMIly "..

[@survivedandthriving]

Also, OP lost not only the rent money itself but also the interest that that money would have accrued had it been collected and put into an interest-bearing account. The amount would be even greater if OP had invested it well along the way (I have an amazing financial advisor and he has done well for me with a fraction of that amount - a good financial advisor would have done wonders for OP).

[@TetraSky]

Third story : The in laws get it. Their son is awful for what he did. That woman is crazy if she thinks she's owed anything. She literally broke two family with her cheating and she expects any sort of sympathy? It's not up to you or the in-laws, to think about HER kids. They aren't biologically theirs anyway. Like rSlash said, she's lucky you're even talking to her at all and didn't bring them to court to remove him entirely from the kids life.

[@camillemartin2295]

Plus, what did she expect OP to do? The in laws are grown adults who make their own decisions lol

[@glennrishton5679]

Not addressing this story specifically but it applies here as well, When someone marries the person they have been cheating with they are marrying a person known to have an inclination to cheat on their spouse.

[@alinasanchez278]

Totally agree with you there. I mean what did she expect. "Oh I am sorry my ex is cheating on you with another woman. " Doesn't feel good when you're on the receiving end does it. What comes around go around.

[@EpicNoob99]

@@glennrishton5679 shh don't tell them. They'll figure it out when they cheat on each other.

[@strangetime8237]

The third story makes no sense what do ever. What woman in their right mind would think "well I slept with your husband for 18 months and caused you not only to lose your partner but for your kids to lose their father. But now everyone hates me for some reason and it's unfair to me and my kids." Grow up lady.

[@SpruceOaks]

Some people just refuse to come to terms with the awful things they have done.

[@---fb4mg]

A selfish mind, all that matters is her and and not anyone else.

[@Nerobyrne]

A selfish one. Sadly, there's a lot of those

[@dranet47]

2nd story update found on Reddit: I just finished talking to my dad. I explained everything that happened at the mall and he apologized and said that he'll be returning everything that was bought and will be taking a day off work tomorrow so we could do something together. He also put up gf and daughter in a hotel so I can have space from them, and said they'll be staying there until my mom gets back. Once I'm ready to see them he said they will apologize to me and once my mom comes back he's going to have a talk with gf.

[@tf8327]

And this is the important part missing in the story rslash read and with this information the Dad deservs a solid 0 in this case.

[@ArcanineEspeon]

You gave it to us word for word! Thank you!

[@annegriswold2116]

2nd story:As mentioned there is that update and I get the feeling the Dad was playing the long game here, and gathering evidence. Kind of funny how he gave $300 for 3 people, almost like he intended for there to be $100 for each person yet his Daughter came home with nothing. And he didn't just assume that his Daughter had finished her drink and already threw away the trash. OP was wise here, not getting upset so the girlfriend couldn't use anything said against her.

[@threegsgaming6959]

Fourth story: NTA. They asked for this, so they’re getting it. And if OP needs to be such a man, then why can’t the girlfriend be such a woman: doing housework, not going to work, waiting on her boyfriend instead of vice versa?

[@tiredman99]

Pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen and all that

[@Dragonborn1178]

@@tiredman99 its the old saying you can dish it out but cant take it in return

[@mariposa9506]

What attracted me to my husband as I got to know him is that he kept his apartment nice and was a good cook. I am not such a great cook so trust me, I'm grateful. Who wouldn't want those qualities in a prospective life partner?

[@pollypockets508]

I wouldn't even bother. She'd be out the door. I can do bad all by myself.

[@shadowfang269]

That last one it honestly sounds like OP’s sister was warned by their parents. They told her to at least get her degree probably knew what would happen

[@alfedosucksatgames5008]

Yea but the gal telling the story is stuck up, yoou can hear it. My daughter goes to a school that costs more than her husband makes. And she says at the beginning, i heard on a different reddit page. That she speaks 4 languages, self taught. So she has a superiority complex over her twin and tries rubbing it in in my opinion

[@shadowfang269]

@@alfedosucksatgames5008 and yet she doesn’t shove it in her sister’s face until her sister starts complaining about how unfair the situation is. Now don’t get me wrong I can see where you’re coming from but it’s more than likely her sister asked how much the cost of sending their kids to a private school is and knows it’s more than what her husband makes. You can share those details and not be stuck up about it, at no point does she mention bragging about anything she does aside from that one detail and the fact her husband comes from money and also has a good paying job.

[@alfedosucksatgames5008]

@@shadowfang269 im not sating shes not a jerk, she is. But rslash left out a few things that were written, im already looking for the other page, so i can show what i mean, shes definitely stuck up

[@theflerffyburr7919]

@@alfedosucksatgames5008 How is she stuck of for WORKING TO BE BETTER? SHE learned 4 languages because SHE worked to learn them, the school costing more than her sister's husband makes is explaining the point of contention that they go to a VERY good school that the other sister can't afford because of her own poor decisions. This isn't being "stuck up". Stuck up is berating and talking down to her sister when it's not needed or warranted. Chewing her entitled sister out for her decisions isn't stuck up.

[@alfedosucksatgames5008]

@@theflerffyburr7919 once i find the other video, youll see. She types things out explicitly just to point out how much better she is than her sister. If you dont see how thats stuck up and rude. Ive got some news for yoy

[@robertaylor9218]

“Every man should know how to fix things around the house” Let me fix that for you: “Everyone should know how to fix some things around the house, prepare basic meals, and keep a home reasonably clean”

[@PunakiviAddikti]

Nah, we have to cling to the traditional manly muscly manly man image. That's what OP's gf and her parents want. That also means that OP's gf is not allowed outside the house, isn't allowed to have a job and can't fix anything. Her job is to cook, clean, take care of the kids and make OP a sandwich. To be clear I'm joking and we have to get rid of this severely outdated stereotype.

[@LuShanna]

Absolutely! Gender is irrelevant when it comes to knowing basic life skills and how to take care of yourself as an adult

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Now you've just reduced the offense to those with executive dysfunction & other disabilities. If your intent was to change it to be non offensive, might try something like: "If you want to learn skills to reduce reliance on others, along with saving time/money, basic repair, cooking, & cleaning is ideal. From there, you can learn more difficult skills like car maintenance, advanced meals, & deep cleaning/organization to keep mess from building up."

[@robertaylor9218]

@@TheDarwinProject1 I don’t think it’s about what an individual wants. A 26 year old incel may not want to be able to take care of himself, because that’s what mom is for, but he should have the skills to be able to. The default should be that adults are able to adult, that is to take care of themselves and their dependents to at least a basic standard. There are of course cases of disability or severely neuro-atypical conditions that make an aspect of adulting very difficult or impossible, in which case you do what you have to and everyone understands.

[@GamerSisters]

@@TheDarwinProject1 bro as a disabled person myself, it is actually very good to learn how to do these things, more so even. Obviously, if you cant do it, you cant do it, there are things i need help with or that i straight-up cant do. But you can have tools to help you and having that knowledge is important especially in case of an emergency or if someone cant help you. That is detrimental.

[@TellyKNetic]

Growing up, I didn't even know that household repairs were sterotypically "Mens' Work," because my dad was terrible at it, and mom loved it.

[@kylecrist5061]

Irregardless of someone's sex, some people are good at it some aren't. It also depends on life experience I know guys that couldn't fix anything, they never learned and make enough money to pay someone to do it. I grew up on a farm so from a very young age I was taught how to repair equipment, vehicles, appliances, how to weld, and carpentry. My father was an electrician by trade so he passed that on, plus after a career with uncle sams finest where you improvise and adapt all the time I can fix most things, so when I am refurbishing my central air unit its no surprise, I have that knowledge so I use it but it doesn't make me more of a man than a guy who can't change his car battery I just have a different skill set, I couldn't write a computer program if my life depended on it.

[@Kiriuu]

Same ngl I didn’t know there were stereotypes like this followed till I made friends with someone whose dad comes home and then her mom makes dinner and he does all the handy work while my friends mom gardens My mom can’t even keep a cactus alive

[@pleasegivesoup]

my mom made sure to teach and encouraged me to repair things on my own so I wouldn't have to rely on a man 🤭 when I finally moved out, she gave me all the tools her father gave to her when she moved out I live with my partner, and I like to say that he has the "analyst" brain and I have the "MacGyver" brain bc of how we problem solve 😂

[@tartarsauce7948]

The gf in the second story. Showing favoritism to another child over another, is a form of abuse. The father has every right to know that she didn't spend a single cent on his daughter

[@1bendykat]

I disagree. As someone who was abused and not the favorite kid of my parents, my experience is that there’s a difference. Don’t get me wrong, favoritism is a warning sign or a precursor to it, but it’s not the same as abuse.

[@ktybo7815]

"Stepparents" like this piss me off. I do not allow my kids to call my husband "their stepdad" because of people like this. They call him their "bonus guy". My husband treats my children like they are his own and he sacrifices so much for them (my 3 children have varying levels of Autism). He always takes them special places, works with them on their school work and buys them special gifts when they achieve a goal. We are blessed to have him in our lives. I really lucked out. Their bio-Dad even encourages them to celebrate my husband on Father's Day. If I was this Dad, I would REALLY reevaluate my relationship with his girlfriend and also with his daughter. Why would he want to subject his child to such a toxic b%^ch? I hope the OP realizes that this woman is garbage and that she deserves people in her life that love and respect her. I wouldn't give this woman a butthole score, I would probably give her a swollen lip to match her swollen ego.

[@evegrace5254]

No. The actions as a result of the favoritism can be abuse. Favoritism itself is not inherently abuse.

[@DianaWanMa]

I thought the same, I was like "are you sure she's not abusive? Like emotionally abusing you?"

[@survivedandthriving]

Agreed. "Showing favouritism" IS abuse. SHOWING favouritism means ensuring that both/all children KNOW one is loved more than the other. That, whether manifested physically, such as buying for one and not the other, or emotionally, such as ensuring one child is praised and the other not (and more often than not denigrated) IS abuse. In this case, the girlfriend was clearly showing favouritism in a way that went well past the 'biological vs. not-even-yet-a-stepchild' excuse. How ridiculous and enabling to argue otherwise! And before people scream at me, I was abused and the least favourite of my parents' many children. Aside from first-hand experience, I have also spoken extensively with my therapist about the topic and also done a HUGE amount of reading on it (my degrees are in a closely related field + I have, obviously, an interest in the topic). Also, generally, even if a parent who has a favourite actually makes an effort to not overtly show favouritism, it still usually leaks out in other ways. But at least then i) the parent would get a lower butt score, and ii) that parent can, and SHOULD, get therapy/parenting classes to help ensure that the children do not suffer from the parent's biases.

[@Lotuswalker]

Fourth story. I think the wife should get a higher Buttjole score than the parents. Only because she knows better than them what OP does and doesnt and why. She did not only participate in the, lets call it mobbing, but also enabled it by not stopping them or stepping up. As his wife !!!!

[@Dragonborn1178]

anyone did that like shameing me at a families house id get up right away and say screw you and dump my gf who in 2022 thinks that way

[@savannahsmith3922]

She's not even a wife yet and she has the gall to act like that 🤢🤢🤢

[@Nerobyrne]

@@Dragonborn1178 yeah, say something like "well, why don't you go find a real man?" And leave

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

First story: This woman is just keeping OP for his inheritance and propeties. They aren't abusive because they know they'll lose all that money if they piss off OP. Serves them right.

[@thegameplayer125]

a homewrecker is pissed at op 3 because the in laws are disgusted by said homewrecker destroying a family, that's just hilarious

[@justinebidulopoutchini9774]

In the second story, the girl updated that her dad send his girlfriend to say with her mom for the duration of his daughter’s stay and took a day off to spend time with his daughter after that

[@binkao2938]

I thought they were sent to stay in a motel 🤔 Maybe I’m getting my stories mixed up. Anyway I hope he dumped her!

[@justinebidulopoutchini9774]

@@binkao2938 ira possible, i don’t really remember where he send her, so motel or parents, he still send her away 🙂

[@silverflight01]

Story 5: Ouch. Just straight up threw a train of reality at her. Never marry someone for their money, because it just won't go well in the end.

[@zombiepie7651]

It’s crazy, my fiancé can not even touch something that needs to be put together. Hell start working on it and get frustrated. Then my lovely butt will pop in and take over. I literally love doing this because I get praise. But the woman in the Reddit story, she should probably take a look at 2022. I mean come on.

[@amandahowell3213]

Yes!!! My man is the same way. he can do some stuff but I usually end up taking over because he gets frustrated. I don't mind doing housework or handiwork and my man is the same way. I'll admit most nights he makes dinner but I keep the house running during the day.

[@merlinathrawes746]

I can understand (up to a point) not knowing how to do something and get frustrated by it, especially when there are no instructions or the instructions are worse than useless. BUT...KZbin has a "how to" video for practically everything, right down to the brand and model number. And the great thing is there's usually more than one and shown from different angles and you can pause and rewind as many times as it takes.

[@teslagod7221]

i think the new age/era mentality is that only one of the couple does everything while the other just living a very enjoyable and lovely life...

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Last Story: I hate people that think it’s some sort of injustice when someone has more money than them. The American dream is to work hard to have a good life, that’s what you and your husband are doing, that’s what your parents are doing, that’s what you sister’s husband is doing, if she wants a better life so bad then she need to work hard to get it.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Nothing stopping her from getting a job or going to college in order to get a higher paying job to make life more affordable, other than her wanting to be a stay-at-home mom and living off her husband.

[@yagirlchoco20]

Oh god this thing about house chores is so annoying. Every adult, no matter man or woman, should be able to do all kinds of chores 😮‍💨 Be it cooking, laundry, cutting grass or changing a light bulb...

[@charamia9402]

Yes! I (F) have lived single (now w/kid) most of my adult life. I can do most of the upkeep, including changing my own tyres, changing wires/switches/plugs on fixtures, unclog drains etc. I value being independent.

[@suitov]

Absolutely, and I can change bulbs and plugs etc etc, will paint and varnish small bits of furniture, can even solder a little, but I would still get a proper tradesman to hang a door. Hinges are a two-person job to me. I'd either get the partner's help or a friend who's done that stuff before. There's nothing wrong with knowing your limits - I can't stand a man who thinks he's the expert on everything just because he's a man.

[@kentario1610]

@@suitov In fact it shows humility and self reflection, which is an admirable trait in someone!

[@s2k997]

The things you've listed, I can do. I struggle with changing tyres, although I have gotten around that somewhat by paying the extra to have runflats fitted. It embarrasses me that, despite my grandfather being a professional carpenter, my skills are rubbish - sure I can saw things to measure, sand and chisel to a rough finish, and can do a dove-tail joint (may need a few goes at this!), but I try. I do reach for tradesmen when things are well beyond my skills/I could make seriously expensive or irreversible mistakes. I have the suspension fail on my car five days ago, one of the rear springs just snapped after a decade or so of use; the damn thing wrapped itself around the driveshaft and could have taken a chunk out of it. There, I had to stop, and get a tow truck in - if I had moved that any more than needed, and it had damaged the shaft too much, then the cost to repair would have been ten times what it turned out as (replaced that drive shaft six years ago, not cheap), and possibly too much to do, writing the car off. It's always good to have a go, but also to know your limits, don't let ego get in the way of dealing with an issue in the best way. I broke a garden tool recently, having struck a buried metal fence that the housing developer had just rolled over rather than sorting out properly; if I had been more cautious, that garden fork may not have gotten a broken prong. But that's life, we have to tried to do things, else we end up doing not much of anything.

[@dracko158]

EX: **Cheats on OP** Also EX: **Complains to OP** OP: **Laughs at her** EX: **Confused Screaming**

[@timehunter9467]

The last one I’d give the sister a worse rating, looking down on her husband like that and complaining about things being bad when he loves her so much, only because OP chose a different path is absolutely disgusting. They both started with the same chance and she refused to take it, no one to blame but herself.

[@silverflight01]

Story 4: ALWAYS be careful with what you say, because it might be used against you in some way.

[@itsmilan4069]

Last one Salute to OP for calling out her sister for looking down on her own husband who loves OP's sister

[@GamerSapss]

Third story: I'm gonna be honest here, it was rude. AND WELL DESERVED, If she doesn't have the self-awareness to see that *she* caused it, then she's truly too far gone

[@antonyduhamel1166]

I love the sister who refused to do more schooling then got jealous that her college educated sister went on to have a much richer life (figuratively and literally.) I mean, I'm a high school graduate who never went to college. I know I'm going to spend my days working for $30/hr or less and I'm happy with that. We can't all be Elon Musk or Bill Gates, someone's gotta clean the toilets too (though thankfully I don't work janitorial.) There's no shame in not desiring higher education because, although the jobs are higher paying, they're also a lot more work and responsibility. But if you decide that you want to be a low income worker for the rest of your days, don't get upset when someone else you know has a much better life financially. This was your choice to make and you made it. Don't get angry at someone else for choosing differently.

[@Darkloid21]

Well the issue is that these days a degree doesn’t exactly mean a better paying job, and if you notice OP was in computer science which is one of the few degrees worth anything.

[@seraglioborneo2803]

Actually you can earn well WITHOUT getting a college degree. Search for the TV series DIRTY JOBS hosted by Mike Rowe where he has researched and participated in a lot of occupations and jobs, few of which require a college degree. Typically electrician/ painter/ plumber/ tiler/ landscape gardener, etc start working as an apprentice, get their license and start earning well. Many put down deposits for their house by the age of 25. ZERO COLLEGE DEBT! Search for a story from UK where OP started at 15 in his father's plumbing co and at 27 is earning well as a partner. His insane dad decides to hand over the company to his DEAD BEAT, COLLEGE EDUCATED, ACCOUNTANT brother who knows ZILCH about plumbing. OP decides to leave and start his own company at 27. Most of the senior staff also quit and join him. Can you say that a 27 yo college graduate can have his own successful and prosperous company like him? Disclaimer: I have engg and management degrees. I admire the hard working tradesmen who deserve every penny they earn.

[@seraglioborneo2803]

@@Darkloid21 You are right. But even in this field, the right experience is worth more than a college degree. I recently read about an OP who is a sys admin without a college degree. His $ 115,000 income infuriates his college educated teacher wife ( who earns around $ 40,000) and college educated waitress SIL!

[@Darkloid21]

@@seraglioborneo2803 How can you do that without a degree.

[@NEPAAlchey]

@@Darkloid21 Everywhere but burger land, it does. It's also 10x cheaper. We're just brainwashed to accept getting bent over at every corner of the career system.

[@humanoid251]

4th story: why is OP’s gf and parents giving him flack for asking a friend to help replace door hinges?? As someone who’s helped replace doors in the past, it’s very useful to have a second person to hold the door up so the hinges are on straight. Like I get the implication is the friend came over to do most of the work but even if OP was the one doing it, a helping hand makes the job a lot easier

[@zachstiles7441]

the first story OPs dad must have some gut feeling that the mother wouldn't take care of their child

[@apersonnamedkai817]

If I remember correctly OP in story 2 posted an update! (Or added an update?) she basically said once her father found out he and the GF fought. Which landed the GF and her daughter in a hotel (I believe, or staying at a family member’s house) then promised OP to take her out just the two of them. The relationship status of OP’s father and GF was strained afterwards. Mark narrations recently posted a video of the same story with the update.

[@DarkEinherjar]

The twin sister apparently thinks she's entitled to OP's wealthy life because they have the same DNA or something like that, completely ignoring the fact that life choices matter, and now she's angry that OP slapped her with the truth.

[@Stormy_Slime]

this subreddit makes me depressed sometimes case 1: not the A-hole Case 2: Not the A-hole Case 3: Im the kid to a home situation like this, OP is certainly not the A-hole Case 4: not the A-hole, just because youre a man, doesn't make you good at handiwork. Gender stereotypes are stupid Case 5: No way, Op is not the A-Hole, Your sister is just snobby and selfish. She wants good stuff without actually working for it.

[@Prebuilt_Room901]

True

[@rigoalvarez3836]

For story 2 there was an update that the dad was furious at the girlfriend and decided to take a day off work to spend time with his daughter and put the girlfriend and her daughter in a hotel until her mom comes back from Sweden

[@meekaa7010]

Thank you.

[@Cynsome1]

Last story: there’s an old saying my great grandmother used to always say; “you made your bed, now sleep in it.”

[@Ash-mo7oc]

Story 4: when you expect patriarchal roles for your man and yourself (she believes she doesn't have to learn how to fix things because she's a girl), you can't live the life of a feminist as a woman. You can't work, you can't drive, you can't vote, you have to do all the cooking, cleaning, learn to sew, knit, crochet, you can't ever discuss politics, science, math or history with your husband, you must always say agree to his opinion on everything even if you actually dont and the only thing you're allowed to read if even read at all (it all depends if your husband allows you) are magazines about keeping your house clean and welcoming, how to look pretty for your husband, romance novels (that aren't explicit because women shouldn't read porn) and a religious text of his choosing. Feminism isn't just about gender equality, it's about taking down the patriarchy which is often confused with taking down men (not the same thing). The patriarchy is what imprisons everyone into certain roles that are dehumanizing towards everyone. Ask yourself this, why is it ok for a woman who is a stranger to go up to a small child in a playground to tell them how cute they are and ask them how old they are but it's not ok for a man who is a stranger to do the same? It's because men are assigned as the gender who is "predatory" while women are assigned as "prey" so women are by proxy safe individuals for kids because they could never hurt anyone (they totally can, my vag isn't going to stop me from murdering or kidnapping anyone if I really wanted to do so). Give men equal gender rights if you as a woman expect equal gender rights. You can't mock a man for learning how to sew, you can't call them unmanly for baking a cake that dethrones your grandma's recipe, you can't laugh at men that wear sunblock for wanting to not get burned, let men be stay at home dads without suspecting them of being kidnappers, don't laugh at them for knowing how to apply makeup better than you and a male nurse is just as nurturing as a female nurse so stop belittling him for "not cutting it as a doctor" because they intentionally chose to be a nurse.

[@Threadnaught]

Feminism is about power, not equality. The Feminist ideal of that relationship is that the man is the breadwinner for the household while the woman is able to make HER own money, and the man also does the cooking, the cleaning , the dishes, the repairs/maintenance, the gardening and takes out the rubbish. As in, the woman gets to have everything with no sacrifice. While the man must make all the sacrifices and is allowed to receive nothing. What you call a dehumanizing patriarchy, is freedom of choice. You want something? Better make a sacrifice for it. A man makes his sacrifices and gets his rewards, a woman makes her sacrifices and gets her rewards. When they work together, they will even make sacrifices for each other and even some for any children they have. For a woman to be able to have everything while in a relationship with a man, as is the Feminist ideal. She doesn't have to have any accountability as he is expected to put in the work to make her comfortable at all times, like a good slave. Right now, there's still Feminists campaigning over a certain defamation case for a woman's right to be treated as the victim even as they cut up a cowering man. Men being treated as paedophiles when around children is a victory for Feminists. Men are expected to be vulnerable on command to appease Feminists, while not making themselves vulnerable as Feminists despise and aim to destroy men who show any sign of weakness.

[@Ash-mo7oc]

@@Threadnaught you should read about feminism and their waves. What you're talking about is the extremist, vocal minority group of feminists that believe misandry is necessary to achieve equality for women, that if you arent born with a vagina then you're not a woman and that women are superior in some strange way. The rest of the waves of feminism (there's several) has nothing to do with these values. Which is why if you look for the definition of feminism in any official dictionary, it is defined as a movement that seeks gender equality for everyone (yes including men and non-binary people). There's even full length studies and research made by the top universities in the USA such as Harvard that delve into the topic of feminism and their waves. I'm more than happy to provide links to these studies and official definitions of the term feminism.

[@Ash-mo7oc]

@@Threadnaught also the patriarchy is what keeps men in the set role of "predators", that's why even long before the movement existed men weren't seen with children in public because everyone would assume that they kidnapped the child. Especially if it was a black man that was just walking in the same sidewalk as a white girl. The patriarchy is what also kept women from being punished of crimes until a woman demanded to be treated like any other criminal and be jailed for her crimes because she worked hard for her street cred and they were just letting her go because she had boobs. It was a pretty famous court case and was one of the first feminist icons in history before the movement ever existed.

[@Kelaiah01]

I'm curious to learn a bit more about the arranged marriage setup in the last story, mostly because it sounds like a surprisingly good system: nobody's forced into the marriage (both OP and the sister asked for it), couples are matched based on how compatible they are, and the fact that wealthier men want wives with more or less an equal standing, means that women are encouraged to pursue an education before marriage - WHICH IS A GOOD IDEA.

[@theflerffyburr7919]

It sounds like an Asian community/country to me! Matchmaking has always been huge in China, Japan, and Korea during their medieval periods AND early modern periods! I wouldn't be surprised it'd survive until today, especially with the tech booms over there.

[@GamerSisters]

@@theflerffyburr7919 yeah i was thinking the same too.

[@carlwebinar1571]

I think in the "non-handy" man story it is very much malicious compliance to drop all the chores he was doing for his GF, treating her like a queen, to be the 'man' she and her parents want him to be. If he kept doing those things, I think your comment would apply. PS - he should also tell her to make him a 'samich'

[@IceAgePrincess1]

The first story is absolutely an example of abuse/neglect, and OP should be informed of that. Abuse victims have a really difficult time acknowledging when they've been abused, especially when the abuse comes from someone they have an established relationship with.

[@Dewdrop365]

Hello Rslash! I was waiting for the clock to turn, so thank you for being on time as always!

[@BenoitRAG3]

It's an a timer to publish at 9AM be does y sky ever

[@grizbear4115]

When the AP was complaining to OP and she was laughing I just thought of Rocket's laugh in Guardians of the Galaxy. Also, it's such a refresher to see that the in-laws aren't taking any of their crap.

[@thathumangiraffe6548]

first story: is it me or does anyone else think the OPs mum could of been cheating on OPs father while he was still alive considering that it took her 2 months to move in with her new parther, not meeting him for the first time or going out on a date (which still is too soon to be meeting someone in my opinion) but moving in with him, like if she knew her new partner for sometime. even you meet someone in 2 months you wouldn't just move in them that quickly.

[@SerenaSilverMoon]

Well seeing as OP's mom and dad weren't married, I think that she was stepping out on him for quite sometime. If you want proof, then OP's dad had to have either known or suspected something was going on seeing as he made sure that the mom couldn't get anything of his through OP. Though I don't think that OP would have given her anything anyway no matter his age.

[@glennrishton5679]

No cake pops for you: One small thing that caught my attention, The mothers spoiled daughter accused OP of being greedy for asking for a cake pop. In my old and maybe outdated understanding of the English language she, the spoiled daughter was being the very definition of greedy.

[@jnmsks6052]

Geez, if I had a man who did all the housework, and cooking, and outside work, and grocery shopping, but couldn't fix anything, that would still be a HUGE win.

[@foremanhaste5464]

ex's wife complained: I am not sure what the route from "You cheated with my husband for 18 months" to "We girl talk some times" is, but that woman isn't even in the correct hemisphere.

[@jelly_4_brainz]

3rd story: uh, which is ruder, laughing at the woman who broke up your marriage and is now expecting sympathy, or cheating on your spouse with a married man for 18 months, getting that man to leave his wife, remarrying that man, and making the children he shares with his ex wife call you stepmom? I think it's the second one that's ruder.

[@thetruth1816]

The level of hypocrise from that lady is just funny A F

[@jelly_4_brainz]

@@thetruth1816 really yeah I mean you wouldn't be complaining about your in laws calling you a homewrecker if you.... Weren't a homewrecker??? Like lol you get no sympathy lady

[@thetruth1816]

@@jelly_4_brainz truth does hurt for the hypocrits..lol

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Third story: NTA. What did that woman expected when SHE MARRIED THE CHEATING HUSBAND OF THE WOMAN SHE IS COMPLAINING TO. She made that choice, now to cry to someone who care.

[@babydragon1234]

Last story can be summed up to "how DARE you work hard for a better life, now we can't be equals"

[@SentientCatfish]

For rental prices it entirely depends on what part of the country you’re in, my family rented a massive Manor House for £800 a month in the northern part of England, yet a shoebox in London can be thousands.

[@DrewciferJ]

Story #1- By that point, you are a landlord and you just locked someone out of their house without any prior notice. To me, 2 weeks is too short of notice to move out. Minimum set up a rental contract and then if they don't want to sign, they have 1 month to be out.

[@the_rachel_sam]

The sketchier apartments where I live in a small coastal town in north Florida start at 1600/mo 🫠 moving out is getting more and more difficult. If they were $1000 I’d be gone already lol. That first story is wild.

[@BrandonsGamingCorner]

Yeah, you really need to look into updates more. The one for the cakepop shows the dad does have OPs back by kicking the two out, and vouching to return the items that were bought with the 300. Personally I would've given him 0 butts for that update. Updates can clear a few things, add more info/context, so it would be worth it to cover them as well.

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First story, NTA: The fact that they tried to kick OP out of his own house insane. That being said, its OP’s property he can do what he wants with it Second story, NTA: That lady is a horrible person and from the comments I seen here I’m so glad the father stood up for his daughter and got rid of the trash Third story, NTA: Not going to lie I would laugh at her too if I was OP. Imagine expecting sympathy when you slept with someone’s husband for a year and 5 months and ruined a family and marriage. Fourth story, NTA: OP’s girlfriend is wrong. So if a man is expected to be a handy man and be able to fix everything then a woman should be expected to know how to cook right? To answer that: No because we are in the year 2022 and shit like that been died. Not knowing how to fix anything doesn’t make a man any less than a man and not knowing how to cook doesn’t make a woman any less of a woman. OP’s girlfirend should drop those stereotypes Fifth story, NTA: I smell pure envy with OP’s twin.

[@OriginalAsherella]

The Starbucks story… The update let us know the dad was a champ. Once he found out what happened he made the girlfriend return all of the clothes she bought her daughter. I think he even moved the girlfriend and the daughter out at least temporarily.

[@calebmorrow96]

Why wasn't the dad-in-law's reaction offering to teach OP how to do the house repair stuff? It's a practical skill and it could have been a good bonding opportunity

[@DHTheAlaskan]

These stories about step parents make me grateful my stepfather is a great guy who went out of his way to make me feel loved and welcome.

[@Maedean-Shepard]

I hate stereotypes of women do this and men do that. I do the cooking (not restaurant-level but I'm pretty good at it ngl) and basic electronics troubleshooting, my wife does the cleaning. My wife's grandmother does the laundry. She gets driven around for groceries, gets to eat with us once or twice a week (but I wouldn't mind if it were more) and gets to go on vacation with us in exchange. My father is doing lots of repairs and gardening around my house. I never asked him to do so but he can't help himself helping around when people don't think they're entitled to get said help. I'm happy about it cause I'm not handy at all. In exchange he gets the occasional extra food I cook and I help him with the occasional paperwork or electronics troubleshooting. Proposed to pay him for his time since I think that's not nearly enough but he adamantly refuses to get paid... 🤣

[@isiaadiel3468]

Imagine cheating for a year and a half, never being sorry, marrying the AP, and having the nerve to ask the wronged spouse "why does everyone hate me?" I would've laughed too! Heck, I would've been crying, kneeled on the floor laughing!

[@Negativ3sc0r3]

Last story: op, if your sister ever comes back into your life I would not leave her alone with your husband. Ever.

[@weewoo6722]

this is the earliest I've been! funny it's because of an all nighter lol- tysm for uploading these videos Dabney, these videos always make my day, and my morning, a lot better

[@owl7072]

"How would she feel if she went to lunch with your family and then you all criticized her for not being a proper woman who cooks and cleans" she would have a hissy fit and cry misogyny while dragging his name through the mud and screaming for his head and for others to set him on fire for the audacity alone. Because y'know, she's a hypocrite who will belittle you and your efforts at every opportunity but don't you dare even breathe in her general direction in a way she doesn't like.

[@MrsShocoTaco]

Any apology or expression of love followed by a "but" is neither an apology nor an expression of love but an attempt at placating the person. Never accept either of those followed by "but" "I love you...but.." "I miss you....but..." "I'm sorry....but...." No.

[@DamianFloresRF]

In the last story I appreciate OP for making a point to defend her sister's husband.

[@RokoFireFox]

2nd story. Ops dad actually deserves 1000 outta 10 dad score with the update to story 2. He told the girlfriend off, sent her and her daughter to a hotel while op is still living with there, returned EVERYTHING that the girlfriend bought that day. Ops dad is great.

[@rogercline5377]

First story: I think you have to give tenants some notice before locking them out. Dunno the laws in the UK though.

[@whatbucketart]

mom: "i need to keep the peace in my life so i'm kicking you out" OP: "i too need to keep the peace in my life so i'm kicking you out also"

[@Luna-iq2op]

For the story about OP being told he’s not a true man, I hate that. People can be so obsessed with ‘gender specific roles’. My dad taught all his daughters (4 of us) everything he knew. He taught us how to put furniture together, he taught us the basics of doing little repairs like how to change a tired and fix a flat, taught us how to fix things around the house, etc. Screw your ‘gender roles’!

[@jimbobjones9330]

That's how I am with my daughters. Taught them to cook, draw, use a sewing machine... and also how to use power tools, build stuff, and program a computer. (Though I definitely need to teach them to change a tire since they both need cars soon)

[@SpruceOaks]

First story, may not be the AH, but is going to be in legal trouble for violating her mother’s tenant’s rights, should she choose to exercise them. In the UK, tenants have rights whether they pay rent or not.

[@jessicamorgan3568]

It's funny how people can think that matchmaking for an "arranged" marriage is oppressive, but don't realize that dating sites do the same thing with algorithms.

[@neilprice513]

Generally speaking: Rich businessmen usually want a 19 to early 20's woman for romantic flings, but when it comes down to marriage material they usually go for someone who wont financially dependant on them and they have their own decently paying job (doesn't have to be as much or more than the man, just that they have their own revenue stream and can survive without them). Rich businesswomen want a husband, mostly, of a higher economic or social station than them (which severely limits their dating pool)

[@Jacdk]

That first story seems a bit fishy, he might have owned the property but there are laws in the UK, like Squatters rights. Also it´s illegal to change the locks for a "renter" no matter if they paid rent or not, he would have been charged with harassment / illegally evicting tenants.

[@Hybrid301]

OP: “Look at me. I’m the man of the house now”

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Fourth story: A toxic family. OP needs to get out of that toxic relationship, or at least ask which his girlfriend's priorities are.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

5:35 NTA you literally told the truth. Edit: Also, rSlash is right: you ARE entitled to a drink and a cake pop. Your dad gave the woman *$300* to spend on ALL of you. That's a lot of money to share and end up with zilch.

[@FoxLosst]

On the one about changing the locks. NTA. I'd go one step further. I'd tell them that if they hadn't vacated the premises in two weeks I would arrive with the Sheriffs Office and have them forcibly removed as trespassers

[@miss.halfcrazed4167]

Last story, I didn't think of an elitist when I listened to this. I thought of a realist.

[@ktybo7815]

AITA for stopping everything to listen to rslash every morning? Lol 😂

[@shadowmewfred09]

NTA sounds like you've got your priorities bang on the money lol 🤣

[@ktybo7815]

@@shadowmewfred09 pretty much! Some people need coffee or the morning news...I need my dose of laughter before dealing with life :)

[@janew5550]

I don't get the 4th story about being a "man". I would rather have a guy cook for me every day than fix something maybe few times a year. GF sounds like she's taking him for granted and not appreciating things he does.

[@eganiac]

Bro I pulled another all nighter to animated like 6million things lmao Im early! Yay!

[@robertlowther6979]

Second story, how do you figure if something bad happens to a child in some way it's always the parent's fault? That statement alone is literally one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard in my life

[@SpruceOaks]

RE “Ex’s wife complained”: Have you tried not being a homewrecker?

[@chichizekitty5694]

Story 1: giving them 2 weeks notice really sucks after 8 years.. Kicking them out aint wrong, giving them no time and leaving them homeless sucks Story 3: Yeah OP kind of sucks here.. She might have a broken family, but you gotta do EVERYTHING to not let the kids see that..

[@seraglioborneo2803]

Last: Our choices define us. But I guess OP's twin doesn't want to wake up and accept that! AND she got good advice from parents and OP. Not their fault.

[@MarkoArillius]

Wealthy single men ABSOLUTELY want single college drop outs. They just don't want them for long. Terrible as that is the match makers might even screen for it so she might never have had a chance to be a trophy wife, which is what she seems to have wanted to be.

[@bladerunner3314]

My dad was a carpenter and I learned a thing or two from him. My ex's parents looked down on me because of my heritage and that I never went to university ... while my ex only had a bachelor on old egypt and book science, two fields you basically get no job with, none the less, she was at university but had problems with basic math (7 x 5 was already taxing on her) and needed thrice as long to assemble any IKEA furniture. For her parents it was all about the impression, the prestige, well, now they have the prestige of a daughter who can't keep her legs together.

[@Andi-ex1js]

If it was such a trivial thing to change the hinges, why didn't the girlfriend do it herself?

[@DeadlyFroglet]

Omg thank you rslash for posting right now, I just had a not so good encounter with my mother so this is just what I need. Perfect timing 🌈

[@scxiao]

I sympathize so much with the 2nd last story (the not-so-handy man). I am NOT good with tools, renovations or even simple "manly" stuff but I am a great chef and I help out as much as I can with cleaning, doing the dishes, laundry etc... So when there is something in our apartment that needs to be fixed, we tackle it together. We look up instructions/guides and whatnot on KZbin, we borrow or buy whatever tools and supplies we need, we often fail and laugh about it, then we try again, together. Do we joke about me not being manly and/or my girlfriend not being "womanly" (is that even a word?) Yes, of course we make jokes about it, but when getting serious criticism like OP got in that story, we are very quick do defend each other. Because that's what a healthy couple does.

[@samwinchester9362]

Fourth story: YIKES! Aside from the fact that EVERYONE should know how to fix a few basic things around the house- if you CANT for one reason or another or even just dont like to... OP still gets it fixed- he just calls someone to do it for him. That's what those jobs exist for. Toxic masculinity so dumb and I'm glad it's not natural to op in this circumstance, I hope his gf and her parents get over themselves.

[@dominiklis6261]

the worst part about Story 4 is that he gets nervous around tools because his father yelled at him and insulted him for "taking too long to learn".

[@lt530]

Wow the cake pop story made me so sad. It also reminded me of the first Harry Potter book, when they're at the zoo and the uncle and aunt only buy him a lemon thing because the shop worker noticed them blatantly ignoring him while getting their kid a massive ice cream. I remember that making me want to cry when I was little, and I just really really hate adults sometimes because this kind of shit happens all the time.

[@cherokeeirishman9612]

I would’ve pointed in her face and then laughed as loud as I could! She and your X broke up TWO HOUSEHOLDS! Her “suffering” is karmic retribution at its finest

[@bmljenny]

1st story: ESH. Yes OP has the right to kick them out but two weeks is not enough time unless they live in an unusually affordable and easy rental market.

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Second story: If OP's father marry that woman he will be doing a grave mistake. The got two golddiggers who just showed their true colors. I read a comment with the update and OP's father saw the light, let's hope it stays that way.

[@boogiebear3095]

Glad op’s dad stood up for her. As for the op laughing in her face, it’s deserved

[@jdg-igh2937]

Kids with cheating parents should to see how cheating destroys. Hiding things won’t helps and only make things worse. Never give cheaters a pass on the consequences of their actions.

[@bddb9239]

In the "manly man" story i agree with the girlfriends parents. Guys should know how to fix some stuff around the house. Heck, everyone should; useful skills are useful skills. And having changed the hinges on several doors in my house, its a way easier task when done by two people.

[@dnisey64]

He has anxiety using tools. Not that he's not handy.

[@bddb9239]

@@dnisey64, im being a smartass. No reasonable person with a functioning brain should agree with them.

[@gaveintothedarkness]

1st story, Rslash so mad, he forgot to give an A hole rating to the mom.