r/AmITheA--hole for Not Giving My Son $400,000?

[@rSlash]

I kind of have faith in the kid 🤷 I think if the entrepreneur kid presents a good business plan and shows commitment, then its very reasonable for his parents to give him like $10-50k of his 400k college fund. If his business fails, he still has plenty left over to go to college. What do you think?

[@MLWJ1993]

I'd definitely support that decision as you described. At worst the kid learns something by losing that money.

[@jck-nrtn]

i do disagree with ur take on the business management classes thing. a youtube business is very different from the type of one that i presume their son is talking about, a start up of some kind. those classes aren’t useless in any way. Even if they aren’t “relevant” they are never useless

[@GoldenSunAlex]

I don't know, he sounds like a wastrel, and you mention in the video he grew up thinking he had a college fund - that's a college fund, not money to be spent on other things. I mean, if he asked his parents to LEND him some money, then it would be fine, but he's basically just expecting for his parents to fund a business for him. And you say 'maybe all he needs is a few thousand'. In reality, starting a business needs a LOT more than that. If he wants only a few thousand, his business is likely to fail. If he wants even more, then it's going back to him basically just asking his parents to pay for his lifestyle.

[@SpecialKail]

I don't think the parents are making an unreasonable request. I'd do a lot for 400k. Going through a few courses FOR FREE is cake. Also this kid sounds like he's probably a spoiled brat considering it sounds like his parents make about a half mil a year

[@lahlybird895]

@@MLWJ1993 agreed

[@peytonbond4886]

For the sons college fund, I think saying to someone who has never ran a business “hey, I have a few courses for you to take that I’ll pay for in order for me to feel comfortable giving you 400k” is completely reasonable

[@rachelranderson]

Agree. I'm especially on board with the "Write out a business plan" part of the proposal. You don't have to use everything, but considering an 18 year old kid has probably never done taxes or dealt with copyright or employee law, I can't imagine that having a cursory knowledge of that stuff wouldn't be somewhat useful.

[@missemmays6886]

That was my thought! Like show me you are putting some work into it

[@Jazzisa311]

Exactly. The majority of businesses fail. He's gonna blow through all of that fund. Even the examples Rslash gives: 'if he becomes a social media influencer, or a musician' etc. Yeah, every business does need some accounting. You have to pay taxes and see what comes out. But also, if the kid is a teenager who wants to 'start a business' with no idea what to do, he's gonna lose all of it. Seriously. At least a businessplan. 18-year-olds may think that they can become influencers, but you only hear about the teenage multi-millionaires. But seriously, for every success story, there are at least a couple of hundred failed ones.

[@MoncheriRous]

I completely agree..! Even though if you have business experience, 400k is a lot of money. Imagine an 18 year old with 400 k in his pocket an no restrictions. Besides, this was his college found to give him higher chances in life, if he blows it all, would he expects more? Having in mind he has no degree and no money in that case..!!

[@chosenuwu]

i feel so too D:

[@gilded_lady]

2nd story: I feel like the classes are a maturity check more than anything. Make sure the kid has his heads on straight before he gets the money, and that he is actually going to use it for a business. If he's serious, then waiting a semester or two to get the funds shouldn't be a big deal. Yes, there are teen millionaires but you also well know those are the extreme exception and not the rule.

[@HRZNEclipse]

Also, it’s not like they are making him pay anything for the classes. You know how many people would kill for that opportunity. His parents are footing the bill for the classes and are giving him a near half a million dollar cushion. And if the business doesn’t succeed he has something to fall back on.

[@TJDious]

A college fund is for college. It's not a "pay for your lifestyle" fund..

[@ToxiqueTrone]

I think that the law classes are business classes are still really important. We just all saw the pink sauce problem and we all know tons of social media influences who scam and practice shady business tactics. The kid needs to know how to be ethical and moral before he starts hiring people and creating any type of product. Y Everything is useful if you go in with an open mind.

[@LoudAngryJerk]

100% this

[@braidygal]

I agree. I thought the op’s proposition sounded very reasonable. To me it sounded like the son just wanted the money and didn’t actually have any plans for it.

[@Hybrid301]

Seriously OP? How is this even a question? Do you think your wife would have wanted to give this precious heirloom to her daughter or some random girl she never knew? The heirloom goes through the wife’s bloodline, therefore it goes to Claire. Giving it to Sara would alienate him from every other family member.

[@alexsmith319]

It's hard when people close to you pressure you. You start to doubt yourself, and it sounds like OP is trying to make sure he's blending families the right way. He's being manipulated by the person closest, and it makes everything feel crazy. I agree with your judgement. I just want to point out how harmful gaslighting and manipulation can be and make someone ask questions that look insane from the outside looking in.

[@thememer6844]

Yeah

[@locusxe1411]

@@alexsmith319 too bad people like Op fall for it. Op should do what he thinks is right.

[@annika5893]

Current gold digging wife is trying to pull every excuse she can out of her butt when it comes to the heirloom. "Claire wouldn't mind, Sarah will share it with Claire for sure". Easy enough to find out the first: ask Claire. Second, even if Sarah would be ok sharing it for a while, Claire and Sarah aren't going to live in the same household forever, happily sharing the heirloom of Claire's mom.

[@DPHAngelPookz]

Why y’all so harsh they are trying to emotionally manipulate him

[@SwanofWar]

Hey rSlash, I'm a small business counselor, so I feel equipped to commend on the story concerning the young man who wants his college fund to start a business. I can't tell you how many times I've had people walk into my office with stars in their eyes and having NO idea what they are doing. I do what I do because not many people truly understand the risks, complexities, and demands of running a business. So it's definitely fair to expect the young man to prepare somehow before starting his business. Now, depending on what that business is how he goes about preparing varies. There are tons of free resources - I am one of them - to help small businesses out there. So college classes may not be necessary. But I think it's kind of the parents to want to ensure their son is prepared before he dives head first into whatever business he wants to start.

[@rachelranderson]

Kudos to your work. It's important for their to be resources to point people in the right direction. Thanks for all that you do!

[@THEDubbleHelixx]

The wife in the first story was totally trying to steal their entire inheritance. Taking the necklace puts the heirloom in her family and leaves Claire with nothing. Selling the house to buy one in her name literally takes any right out of the children's hands, robs them of the financial benefits, and places it in her family's hands instead. I hope OP updates soon, as he promised he would.

[@maddiekoester7785]

A solution to the first story. Since the wife is trying to put claim on something that is not hers, or will ever be hers. OP can give his stepdaughter a new necklace so that she can start her own tradition of passing down an heirloom.

[@KillJoy_Since2017]

Exactly

[@lexalina132]

I love that idea!

[@blade5521]

I hadn't thought of that but that's actually a pretty good idea.

[@charminglady2011]

Good idea. I think this is a fair plan

[@8Spikey]

Although logical, it's not the point. The wife wants to erase any memory of Kate and push OP's daughter to the sidelines while stealing money from her. I bet she would sell the heirloom the moment she had a chance.

[@ismae-rienne4991]

College story: the parents make sense. If the son starts a business without knowing the ins and outs, he's gonna flop. Now, R/Slash does make a good point that not all businesses need that info, so I think the parents and their son should sit down and talk about the type of business the son wants to start. That way, a proper plan can be created.

[@KazeShikamaru]

But rslash is also projecting as he just got lucky one of his KZbin channels took off. I like him but I wish he stop taking pot shots at college since it didn't work for him.

[@vayelan]

@@KazeShikamaru Yeah. Rslash and those "multi-millionaire teen content creators" are exceptions, not the rule. The majority of content creators, much like many traditional businesses, never see significant success.

[@multitaskingmom9802]

I think it is good to have some of the classes. I do think think accounting is needed as he could go have that done through an accounting firm. Business law is great though especially since you are liable for things that can potentially go wrong. Yes you can have lawyers but still you need a bit of basic understanding. There are many types of entrepreneurs but if he wants to do a startup with physical products then I would hugky recommend the classes.

[@af22man]

@@KazeShikamaru but college is worthless nowadays in a lot of ways. Trades pay way more than other jobs just starting out.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

@@af22man Yeah, but many trades don't have good retirement options, and most people work into their late 70s. So unless you work your way up to running your own business, you’re stuck doing a physically demanding job at 75.

[@mercisweetfyre9927]

As someone who married into a wealthy family and watched my partners older brother blow through his college fund I totally get where the parents are coming from. Their eldest also didn't want to go to college, go into a trade or even get a job. He did take his entire fund, try to become a drug dealer and is now in jail with 2 felonies

[@gilded_lady]

I work in insurance and had a case where they didn't want financials on final contract forms because they were concerned the kids would try and just mooch until they died if they knew what they were worth.

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

LOL drugs? I just became a pimp with my mama's collage fund

[@D64nz]

The kind of people that can make a business work with no schooling already have money to start a business by the end of school. The rest, and that's most of us, will just blow it and walk away heavily in debt. If OPs ltd want a business loan he's going to have to put forth a proper proposal to the parents detailing his plans in full before he sees cent 1. Sidenote - Rslashes ideas of businesses are actually all just gig jobs. That's not a business, that's an independent contractor.

[@KHTimeProtecter]

Who wants to bet that the wife wants the heirloom because she doesn’t know the actual value and thinks it’s worth more than it does?

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

nah, she just want's to put her dirty hands on anything that's possible

[@Axio_matic]

Why can't it be both of those?

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

@@Axio_matic because... YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!!!

[@lazymaster949]

@@Axio_matic you make sense

[@benry007]

Its also a way to isolate OP from their family.

[@666Brago]

That first story was just insane. OP should divorce his wife immediately and Claire should get the heirloom plain and simple. It's her right to it through her biological mother.

[@toysruskid5074]

Greedy witch would probably file for custody of Claire so she can spend 2 years directly manipulating her to get the house.

[@tameelah3839]

I wouldn't be surprised that his wife married him for the money, but I am jaded.

[@guitarbass22]

First story: I have no words. It got more and more insane. I’m still trying to process it. Second story: RSlash is 1000% biased in his opinion. I’m actually with the OP here: the classes may do nothing, but they may give the son just the advice he needs to make his business a success. Plus, they’re free of charge to the son, and a business plan is essential regardless of the business type to know what direction you want to go in, so I see no issues here. The son gets 1.5/5 buttholes. Third story: straight up child abuse. Why have the authorities not been called yet. That’s my big question.

[@dragoncubes1074]

Agree, agree, agree.

[@joannamyers1268]

And the sad thing in the third story is OP's mom and her husband are both drug addicts. So, he feels safer with his dad, abuse and all.

[@phoenix72999]

@@joannamyers1268 Oh my god, some people really won the lottery of misfortunes... That poor lad

[@yonpark6245]

Authorities being called might mean he gets thrown to the foster care system, which is NOT good for OP. So I agree with rslash: use this time as a safe-ish harbor to plan an exit strategy, but know the witch of a stepmom and the useless dad aee going to be impediments. At least he has boarding for now.

[@CallsignEskimo-l3o]

I agree with you on story two. In any business, cash flow is king, even if you have a strong capital base because it will eventually be exhausted. Rudimentary accounting is important in any business.

[@BordrKing]

If OP gives gives that heirloom to his adopted daughter he'll be a total monster. It was always destined for Claire. The OP is simply a steward for the heirloom.

[@sandracox4341]

Exactly. Sarah has no connection to Claire's mom. OP said it has little to no monetary value. It does however have sentimental value to Claire and gives her a connection to her mom and her female family before that.

[@JasonConlan75]

I think he's pretty sure now what will happen if he does hand it to his step daughter after his son gave him the "fuck around and find out" warning about severe consequences......

[@nadinesharp9766]

@@sandracox4341 Actually the story says the necklace is highly valuable, which is why I think wifey wants it to go to HER bio daughter. Then, if they ever get divorced, the necklace will be in her/her bio daughter's possession. I can't believe OP is even considering giving the heirloom to Sarah. The necklace is from and for KATE'S bloodline, not OP's and certainly not wifey's. Sarah is no relationship to Kate and never will be, so she has no right, nor does her bio mom, to an heirloom from Kate's family.

[@pureteddybear_]

@@nadinesharp9766 the story literally said it was of little financial value wdym?

[@ked49]

@@pureteddybear_ yes

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: Worst part to me is that the father is just letting this happen and is just defending the evil Stepmom. He won't stand up for OP. Both of those parents are bad

[@joannamyers1268]

Yeah, that just sucks. OP clarifies that his dad pays him back for the money he spends, which his stepmother doesn't want him to do even that much. His dad's still an asshole, just less of one.

[@thelordstarfish]

I do disagree with rslash giving the dad a *higher* A-hole score than Stepmom but... they both deserve one. It's just that Stepmom is a rock-solid 5/5.

[@xeedflarian9748]

OP is just in a tough predicament. His mom and step-dad are horrible and his dad and stepmother are horrible. It's a lose lose situation.

[@PhysPushscale]

Story 4? Cause 3 is about college fund. I know caunting to 4 is hard but no worrys many have this problem here.

[@epicsnail4614]

@@PhysPushscale the second part of the video was going further into the 1st story. Just reading comments from the post

[@SamiMichelle]

The one about food: You said that it’s not the child’s responsibility to mend the relationship and you SO right! But when I was 16 and moved out, my entire family expected me to make amends even though my mom was the abuser. This is way too common.

[@Monika-ou2pz]

College story: I totally agree with the parents. The kid needs to learn first. It doesn't necessarily have to be those specific classes, but something related to his business idea, maybe an internship or even working in a field that he wants his business to be in. Maybe I am just cynical, but I personally think that if he is just given the money, he will waste it on unnecessary things out of ignorance.

[@weareallbronies9031]

I'd even go so far as to say that the first story is a divorce worthy issue. The new wife is showing her true colors and OP needs to believe her.

[@johnclose2925]

If a spouse can't make a reasoned argument to convince you of their position, and resorts to manipulation, then you should divorce them. Massive red flag.

[@lista2308]

Or the son can tell the new wife in no uncertain terms what will happen if Claire doesn't get the heirloom

[@bloke2034]

100%

[@chrisreed26]

I said the same thing! Such a shame she showed her true colors after they were married!

[@agentmaryland1239]

@@chrisreed26 That's usually what happens lol. A lot of times in situations like this, the person only shows you their true colors after they believe you have no way out (aka marriage and/or kids being in the picture) so they let loose and you find instant regret. Though it's usually because they want money rights, inheritance, ownership of this or that, those are usually the reasons they marry into your life.

[@alexanderhenby1362]

I'm going to hard disagree with RSlash here on the college fund. A college fund should be assumed that it is for school, OP is willing to change that into an investment in his son's business, which is great. However he needs to see a plan on how his son will run his business and what he's going to do about things an investor could also be on the hook for (Like taxes, which are a bitch to file if you are not only self employed but employ others.) Its not "held hostage" it's an investment and those arent handed out as freely.

[@skool999]

I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve had side hustles and ran or helped run small businesses, and there is only so much you can fail and learn from on the front end. Part of owning a business is knowing the ins and outs of your business and being able to show others, especially if you’re seeking capital. Dad was just prepping his kid up for the real world if you ask me. And besides, virtually any business knowledge is helpful to most entrepreneurs, even if it’s not immediately applicable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Edit: spelling

[@Arc3752]

Soon as I hear RSlash say "I'm an entrepreneur myself" I knew it was going to be a "Look at me, I'm an expert!" moment. For a dude that has read so many of Choosingbeggars posts to suggest he should use 400K to try and be an influencer? LOL

[@agentmaryland1239]

@@Arc3752 Yeah, no offense to rSlash, but sometimes his takes don't just miss the mark, they completely go flying off into the stratosphere. Whenever it comes to relationships, kids, or being self employed, I feel like he takes a step too deep in the 'I'm knowledgeable enough in this to give a completely unbiased and viable opinion' territory. Every person's problem comes with its own baggage, circumstances, and consequences. You can't just boil it down to 'it's this or that, no in between' as problems are never that simple, even when they appear to be on the surface. Things he needs to remember when reading these stories is that: -It's reddit, some stories will be intentionally misleading, fluffed up to gain your favor, and overall just don't carry the entire story for one reason or another. -He may be in a relationship that is healthy from his perspective, but like everyone, no two relationships are the same. Some have their own set of expectations and rules to be followed and it's not really our place as a 3rd party looking in to judge some of them. -He's a new father, his kid likely is still getting the hang of walking (or at least is still considerably young), so he can't give a reliable, unbiased opinion on say a fully grown child (5-10 yo) or teenager in certain circumstances. He will readily defend certain children's positions out of the love he has for his own child, but sometimes it's not as simple as saying 'well there is no problem because (x) is being completely reasonable'. -Because he is a new father, he will find certain circumstances where he thinks the parents are being unreasonable when that's not the case because he hasn't yet gotten to the point (if he ever does, it all depends on what his own child is like growing up) where the child may be trying to manipulate him into giving them what they want. -KZbin is a wild place, I am not successful on KZbin so I don't know what all you really need to know about it. However, I do know that just because you are self made and have been making it fairly well, doesn't mean you know all there is to know about being self employed. Some business models will require you to have certain degrees of understanding or else your business will flop face first into the concrete. So while he has more of a leg to stand on than myself, it's always best to remember that one persons success doesn't mean another will find the same level of success.

[@mirvannascythes1764]

@@Arc3752 They're being extremely biased. It would be a different story if Rslash's youtube career had been unsuccessful. The reality is that most of us need training to succeed in business, small or large. And with or without training, you need a lot of luck to be successful- and a hell of a lot more luck if you didn't undergo that training. But none of that actually matters. What matters is that the money belongs to the parents. It's their right to gift it how they choose. They could decide to spend it all now on a cruise and not be the butthole, because they earned that money. The son is by definition a choosing beggar.

[@Lunch2391]

I think the "holding hostage" refers to them demanding him to take college classes expecting a business plan is just what any serious investor would do and really is the right way to start a business no matter what you are planning on doing imo them demanding him to go to college makes the buttholes but expecting a business plan does not

[@bananachickenboo]

If the son wants to be a musician, a real estate agent, or an influencer, he doesn’t need 400K. His parents would be investors and I think they’re trying to protect him by making sure he doesn’t open a business selling shitty pottery and loses the 400K

[@fdm2155]

Right? I have visions of the kid opening a store front or restaurant and thinking the money is gonna roll in with no work! Or 'launching an app' with no real idea of how unlikely that is to succeed. Parents are correct to insist the kid demonstrate a) willingness to do some prep/work b) requiring a business plan. What if the kid wants to buy $200K in high end sneakers to resell? What if he wants to launch a social media site? Who would hand over $400K to their 18 year old?

[@DanielJones-mq7oe]

I agree. I feel like r slash is a little biased. You work the least conventional job in the world. If he wanted to start youtube or music career he wouldn't say "I'm gonna a start a business". to say business classes won't help with a business sounds crazy to me.

[@estebanaguirre965]

I agree with the parents too. That is a large ammount of money and their son should learn how to manage it first

[@summonedtentacles6778]

Tbf, real estate you need a licence typically Musician you need talent and skill Influencer is a meh

[@velvetdarksoul8741]

@@estebanaguirre965 yep, you give a 10 year 100$ they'll spend it fast imagine how fast he'd spend 400k at his age

[@silentj2k9ross3]

2nd story: Honestly, I’d give the son a minor a-hole score like 0.5. While I get that many people can start a business with little to no schooling, just as many if not more fail when things don’t work out the way someone imagines. Especially considering that OP offers to not use the college fund and pay out of pocket for those classes, the son is acting a little entitled and bratty.

[@CidVeldoril]

Nah. The son wants to start a business to AVOID going to college. Maybe he doesn't work well in a school-type setting. My great uncle flunked out of school here in Germany and despite our rigid rules he went on to become an artist, a scholar and a businessman holding multiple patents in the automotive industry, even being created an honorary craftsmaster despite never going to tradeschool.

[@lovingdove9511]

No way the sun has no entitlement to that money at all. The money was saved for college they didn't know how much college would be so if you only use $200,000 the other 200,000 is theirs, even if they told him he had a college fund in no way is that money the kids. The parents have no obligation to give it to him it sounds to me that the kid just thinks oh I have a half a million dollars I didn't have to work for I don't want to call it a college so just put it in my bank and we'll call it a day.

[@tamaradelsohn5493]

Story 2: I'm not deeply intrenched in influencer culture, so correct me if I'm wrong, but... aren't there a ton of failed "influencers" for every successful influencer? Just because the kid tries doesn't mean he'll succeed, and the classes would give him a head start if he needs a plan B, or if he's not planning on going into social media business to start with.

[@CallMeFi]

12:24 Those kids are a massive exception and most definitely not the rule. The same goes for you, rslash! Entrepreneurs have a massive failure rate and it's insane to chuck money at an 18 yo with no plans or skills. The parents want the kid to have a safety net and employab skills beyond whatever business venture he wants to embark on. I think that's fair. Plus basic law and accounting are good skills for anyone to have regardless of what they do! Know your rights and where your money goes.

[@BeefMeisterSupreme]

And Rslash is basing the efficacy of the classes on his very niche, very specific business model. Rslash went choosing beggar

[@LilDevyl17]

I was about to say the same thing! Sometimes, I think Rslash is little too out of touch b/c he did make it with the KZbin Channel. But at the same time, he has his own business, so why is he shutting down the idea of Business and Law Classes. When Rslash himself actually uses some of the basic ones with KZbin? I mean think about it? With the Copyright Laws and (now I can't think of that Government Branch name) chopping down the door. Several KZbinrs either put in their "I Quit" Forms or actually struggle a bit. But even then, it's still a good idea to do those so the son has a good idea of what the actual Business World is truly like and just b/c Mom and Dad have a niche bank account all set up for him.

[@bridi0821]

@@BeefMeisterSupreme I know. It’s so irritating to watch him shit on college degrees over and over again because it didn’t work out for him and he got lucky with his KZbin channel.

[@aoiterasu]

For the second story, I wouldn't say the son wrong to be upset about having to take the courses, but I think it's absolutely necessary to start your own business. Definitely sounds spoiled by calling them AHs though, he sounds like he wouldn't even stick with his business plan and decide to just live off of the 400k til it's gone

[@threegsgaming6959]

Third story: NTA. This is a classic case of “You reap what you sow”. Also, why aren’t OP’s parents sticking up for her against the awful step parents? This is abuse, clear and simple, and OP’s parents and steps are horrible.

[@thetruth1816]

They're parents in name not any other way..

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

That poor kid has awful parents! I can't believe that useless dad just stands by and lets it happen. I guess he's too busy sucking up to his new wife

[@GalaGrinsArt]

I checked the original post and it looks like the dad is giving the kid money to get his own food, but is a doormat to the terrible step mom. The kid can't live with the bio mom because her and his step dad are actual drug addicts. Supposedly step mom has her own kids that she hates and is presumably abusive to as well. That poor 16y/o kid is stuck between an abusive step mom and literal drug addicts.

[@your_local_questerian]

my heart goes out to op :( it seems like she's the only person in that family that isn't toxic, tbh. i haven't even read the story and i already know she is nta.

[@Ra88ful]

Cps

[@kenyahail5380]

I started raising my step son when he was 16 years old. I didn't get the young years to build that motherly bond with him, however I am his go to parent when he has something he wants to talk about or get advice on. I am honored to be the parent he trusts with his feelings.

[@snailsedis]

what absolutely blows me away /neg in the 4th story is that this is his preferred living situation, like he’s rather deal with this then living with his mom. i feel so bad for this kid

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* OP needs to listen to his gut and also his son. His wife sounds hecka manipulative with her reasoning as to why Sarah should have the heirloom. As OP pointed out, Kate intended to give her heirloom to _her_ daughter Claire. If OP gives the heirloom to Sarah instead of Claire, he WBTAH. *First OP Replies:* Holy heck, this story got worse! OP married a gold digger and needs to divorce her yesterday. *Second OP:* The money _is_ for OP's son's _college_ fund. This may be a controversial opinion, but I'm going to say OP is NTA. I predicted some soap opera stuff, like "marry this girl, or you won't get access to the college fund" type thing. It looks like OP and his wife are helping out their son. I'd take advantage of the offer if I were OP's son. *Third OP:* -How is OP supposed to cook dinner if he can't use the food his stepmom buys?- I misremembered some of the details, but my point still stands. OP doesn't owe his stepmom anything because she is not OP's problem. OP is NTA, and I hope he has enough money to move out ASAP. Both of his parents let him down. I disagree with rSlash on the ratings for OP's stepmom and "dad". If they're abu5ing OP, they deserve the full 5/5 BH score.

[@omarborrero1486]

My thoughts exactly.

[@NobodySoldier]

I'd say, OP's son in the second story is an AH. He acts as if he was entitled to the money when he was entitled to the education this money would provide initially. He's being childish.

[@thomasparsley8195]

Those three classes are the bare minimum he can do. Rslash has a bias from his own experiences. It's spoiled thinking to expect 400k without any prerequisites. Having to take three very basic classes is the least he can do!

[@richardperez6945]

A business plan is the bare minimum, technically. I do agree that there should be some college classes taken, but all he really needs are entrepreneurship and accounting classes - not law or management.

[@thomasparsley8195]

@@richardperez6945 understanding certain laws and management are important IMO, but you're free to yours. Breaking a law that you don't know can ruin a company depending on the area you live. America in particular has some of the most ridiculous laws! The laws about water collection is a good example. Depending on where you live, collecting rain water can actually lead to a fine and even arrest. There are many many examples of laws you wouldn't think exist. Best to be informed.

[@nopoatato]

agreed my jaws on the floor listening to his excuse

[@psrando]

It's a COLLEGE fund.

[@samanthaferris4976]

Completely agree. EVERY business owner should have basic accounting knowledge. How can you price your offerings accurately to cover cost, overhead etc without it? The son is an entitled butthole and having to take 3 classes free of charge in order to receive $400k is bare minimum

[@piper1711]

Rslash, you can't compare your business to the sons. He would most likely be starting the standard business type and in the real estate, law and business classes WOULD help! He needs to prove he can see something through and the classes would be free!

[@Avrysatos]

He's probably wanting to invest in crypto.

[@GamerSapss]

@@Avrysatos That is a very high likelihood, my thoughts where gravitating there immediately

[@rontheauraknight9606]

I mean if he wants to do a business it’s not like for Rslash a lot of businesses need for their bosses to know at least the basics of management like for example Rslashs only budgeting would probably be time, editing/paying an editor while say if he wanted to produce things he would need to worry about Profitability, Overhead costs, etc Rslash can’t compare a KZbin business who’s second pot in the pie is merch to an actual business who has to worry about more specific things. And having a business plan is common for investors which his parents now are

[@Avrysatos]

@@rontheauraknight9606 oh youtuber IS an actual business that's where some of the new ones fail at it, they don't realize it's an actual business. But it's not a traditional one.

[@velvetdarksoul8741]

@@Avrysatos this is why I prefer Mr.Beast he's the nicest KZbinr

[@Jesi310]

For the college fund story: I disagree with you on one thing rslash, business management and accounting are very important for ANY business. It isn't a waste of money if you learn how to do it for yourself and when the business is doing well enough then you'll be able to afford using a service where someone else can take care of all of your accounting needs. Buisness management is something that should be learned if someone is planning on be in management, how else do you think some managers are awesome?

[@qiralyncassette]

Heck those sound like good classes no matter what job you even go into, learning to manage your money, the basics of the legal system and how the law works, helpful stuff.

[@Commanderbones]

Rslash, you're a KZbinr. Comparing the requirements and things that would've made your business easier to any other is like comparing a boat manufacturer and a seafood restaurant

[@userasdf]

Yeah. And op at least said the kid was planning on having his college fund. Not $5k or something. He wants that 400k. Rslash is just in a biased position

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 2: I’d say NTA. It sounds like they’re genuinely trying to help him with his endeavors. Even if he takes little away from community college, he gets to learn something for free. He doesn’t lose any of the money promised to him and just has that much more time to plan out his business. If anything, he could even get a job during college to pay for small things to get started, then he has extra money to support his business after college. There are only benefits for the son here. I think he overreacted without thinking about what this could actually mean for him.

[@funkytoasts4768]

Honestly on the first story I'm glad OP did go to AITA for this. Even if it's common sense to us outsiders he knew he had conflicting thoughts

[@willowway3349]

And in the top comment he luckily confirmed only Kate's daughter is getting the heirloom

[@imQaif]

I don’t think he deserves a score tho. If he was forced to post in the Reddit by someone then maybe but he was getting other opinions. It’s obvious his wife is financially and mentally abusive and when your in a relationship like that, better judgment is a lot more rare.

[@funkytoasts4768]

@@imQaif I reckon the driving factor for him posting it was probably the black and white opinions of the people he held dearest to

[@cherenkov_blue]

That last story... wow. That is peak gaslighting. "You are _forbidden_ from using _anything_ to cook in this house that you don't buy yourself" but ALSO "Wow, you're a _terrible_ person for not cooking when it's convenient for me!" I guarantee that if he had cooked a meal, he would've been yelled at anyway. I know from experience how abusive relationships like that work.

[@your_local_questerian]

i remember reading and commenting on that story and i was FURIOUS

[@gamerz1172]

I swear third story makes me feel like we need to get a system in place for children of divorced parents being stuck with terrible step parents that their biological parents are too spineless to deal with

[@titanvsgames4]

The kid with the college fund SHOULD go to the classes his father recommended because even though alot of those classes aren't required, they do help in some areas. You don't go to school thinking everything you learn will be applicable to everyday life, you go knowing that there could be moments where that knowledge can come of use and give someone some idea of what they are getting into. Not only that but he also doesn't have any life experience in the regards from the sounds of it so it would be beneficial in that regard as well

[@iridescentsolace]

I have to disagree with not going to school for business and such when you’re trying to open a business. Yeah, lots of businesses open without some kind of education but I don’t think the dad was being unreasonable. He just wants to assure that his son has a plan and knows his field that he’s going into business for, and the son is understandably upset but if you’re truly set on opening a business and your only requirement was to take some FREE classes to help you understand it better than it’s not difficult at all.

[@Ayaforshort]

Agree. R/slash went to school for something completely unrelated and now has a business. But he probably would have more success in growing and diversifying his business if he was educated in entrepreneurship not English. It's arrogant to think that you know everything, there is always more information out there that can help you do even better.

[@patrickshields6954]

Not to mention that the fact he's being defiant over such a simple request doesn't speak well to him following through with the difficulties of being a business owner. He'll probably get the money, fail after a year, then laze about for a decade of his nest egg.

[@SuzanneRush]

It does depend on what the business is, how long the classes take, etc. Some things might be time-sensitive (say a particular ideal location available now, or a fund/incentive with limited availability), and if he has to delay for classes that could undermine the plan. But at the very least brining the business plan and then doing any training/studies that the plan shows are needed - either before or part time while doing the first steps - shouldn't be unreasonable at all.

[@nikitatavernitilitvynova]

Second story. I disagree. I've seen someone start a small businnes and they found out the hard way their mistakes. For example this lady said she didn't file her taxes correctly and got fined for it and now is slowly getting back up from that. I feel like the parents are doing the best in the son's interest. They're giving him money to study for it, so they can be ready to start a business, and asked him for a plan on the businnes so they can see if it's going to float or not. Because if he ends up spending all his money on a one time hobby and make absolutely zero profit than that money is gone. And that means he'll have to find another way to make money. Maybe even go to college which is more money on top. The parents are making sure he's doing the right thing and taking the right decisions for his benefit which is what parents should do.

[@snpingghost]

2nd story: I disagree with RSlash because we don't know the type of business the kid wants to run. The parents are 100% in the right as parents who don't want to see their child struggle, he'll be getting free education for running a business. The son is probably someone that heard of success stories from content creators, influencers or other business owners who got lucky and thinks he can pull it off, so it's better to get the bases covered by getting the knowledge needed for it.

[@vayelan]

Agreed. If his business plan is to become an online content creator, he will not need nearly that much money to start his business. Plus, those "multi-millionaire teen content creators" and even RSlash himself are anomalies, not the norm. The vast majority of content creators probably never see any income or acquire a significant following. Appropriately enough, this skewed ratio of success versus failure is also true for traditional businesses, which is why it's all the more important that OP's son take those recommended classes. He needs to actually know what the heck he's doing, especially when the amount of money on the line is more than most people ever see.

[@shykorustotora]

In 2022, he probably wants to dump $50K on a hardcore gaming setup and another $20K on setting up his online space because he's going to be a professional TikTok-er

[@zaphyrae]

2nd story: Your situation is pretty unique. It feels like the kids just wants play money. The money was there not for the kid, but for the kid to be able to support himself in the future. As other commenters have said, those classes are a maturity check and to make sure the kid has a solid plan. If he just needed 10k to go into social media, the parents probably wouldn't be making the post and just hand the kid the money.

[@ghostrecondelta1741]

For the second story, I honestly think that the parents just want to make sure his business won't fail and for that money to disappear. Yeah, those classes probably aren't needed, but it wouldn't be a bad idea for the son to learn how to run a business (Assuming he doesn't already know.)

[@Kelaiah01]

UPDATE ON THE FIRST STORY: OP didn't post an update in the original post, but he did say this in the top comment: "People here are unanimous and seems like my instincts were correct. I'm going to reject my wife's request and suggest if she loves the tradition she can give something of hers (or her mother's) to Sarah. That will mean a lot more to Sarah anyway. Kate's heirloom is going to Claire and Claire only."

[@thetruth1816]

Why do I think op is just saying things to appease the online community and not what he's actually gonna do..

[@pugmcmuffins9282]

@@thetruth1816 I mean, he might now that he remembered that his son is the only thing keeping him, his wife and adopted daughter from being homeless.

[@bernhardprziwara2392]

at least that is good news, but it should have been obvious anyways, what was there for OP to think about, his brain must be so smoked out and his wife is the one causing it with her pollution.

[@thetruth1816]

@@pugmcmuffins9282 I hope his son stays on him and stands up for his sister..

[@NothingIsWrongToday]

Thank you!

[@DarkOsprey28]

Thankfully the OP from the first story had decided to give the heirloom to his son for safekeeping until Claire’s 18th. He’s also reconsidering his marriage.

[@kagisosilindane6632]

That last story (no lie) makes fathers that leave the family and come back out of nowhere look like dream, abandoning a child without their knowledge or them seeing you is one thing, but to have them see you ignore their pled for help and them struggle through life in the same home wtf mans deserves an actual 5/5

[@Arob4343]

Story 1: clearly the wife is the one playing favorites with her daughter. Zero concern for op. Zero concern for Claire’s feelings. Just wants Sarah to be spoiled. My solution: start a new tradition with Sarah, but something similar and pass it on to Sarah. But only give that original to Claire

[@trinitythetrombone]

on the college fund: i do agree with most of what you said, however i personally feel that it is pretty fair for the parents to require some college level classes before turning over the accounts because a.) thats what the money was originally intended for and b.) they offered to pay for the classes out of pocket so that the son wouldn't lose any money.

[@KillJoy_Since2017]

Um no OP should give that heirloom to HIS ACTUAL daughter like he intended, like dafuq the step mom has no say in what OP does with his heirloom

[@Lunch2391]

it's not his it's his late wife's and supposed to go to her daughter so even if the older girl was biological his she would not have been able to claim it as hers as she's not the late wife's daughter

[@silverflight01]

Story 1: Wow, what a pecking mess that is unfolding. I just hope that OP makes the right choices and make sure Claire gets that heirloom. That new wife is a mooch as RSlash says.

[@NobodySoldier]

He stated in a comment that he will give it to Claire, and no one else.

[@Rj-ij6ko]

OMG loool, anyone else just LOVE Op’s son in that first story? “Yeah, we aren’t selling the house, but feel free to move out” 😂😂 Dude is savage and i’m glad he has his little sister’s back.

[@carmenyang56]

For the college story: yes u don’t necessarily need to go to school for business. But it’s is very handy to use it. When r/ is explaining that there are 16-17 millionaires out there they still have managers or parents who understand business, and can or will make decisions on their behalf. What I think op is trying to do is set him up with success so incase like the business doesn’t go well there’s still at least some tools that the son can use to get a job. It also shows just how serious and passionate the son is. Bc let’s be honest if ur not passionate about a project or business it’s just going to fail and money is just going to go down the drain.

[@janis7077]

You are wrong about the kid with the college fund, there is a reason it's called a college fund, you can't expect your parents to give you nearly half a million to throw away because you want to start a business without any business knowledge.

[@shykorustotora]

In 2022, he probably wants to dump $50K on a hardcore gaming setup and another $20K on setting up his online space because he's going to be a professional TikTok-er

[@WishGender]

yeah and usually with a college fund you have to prove that the money is going towards education in order to use it (or at least to use it tax free)...

[@janis7077]

@@WishGender Yeah I don't know how it works since I'm not nearly rich enough to have one.

[@KHFN_YT]

@@WishGender I'd say give him 10k to 15k because who needs 400k to start a small business also what if he doesnt want to go to college it's his money do the parents keep it or give it too him so dont give him the 400k for a business but its a waste if he doesnt go to college.

[@WishGender]

@@KHFN_YT it’s not his money. They said it’s in his parents’ names. plus it was created for the express purpose of higher education.

[@IljaHordist]

What really bothers me in the last story: Who the hell did OP's mother marry - a mass murderer? If the abuse and neglect OP suffers from his stepmother is so clearly preferable to what he would go through at his mother's place, I imagine that his stepfather would at least severely beat him...

[@jacobparkes5144]

Someone in another comment mentioned that they were drug addicts.

[@Sorchia56]

@@jacobparkes5144 Ugh! That’s awful!

[@spydersoup8447]

So, basically, OP has no choice but to live with awful family because regardless if OP either chooses to live with his dad or mother, he can't have a good life with any of them.

[@PseudoUematsu]

Second story: there’s nothing wrong with having strings attched to college funds. In fact, it’s vital to ensure the money goes to a good place. You don’t immediately become a smart investor on your 18th birthday. If the kid isn’t willing to go to classes that his parents would pay for separate from the fund anyway, he IS being entitled and shouldn’t get the money til he grows up a bit

[@danielhounshell2526]

It also shows that he isn't mature enough to make smart business decisions yet. Any competent business person would lose their minds at the mention of free education and a 400k investment at only the cost of going through the free education and drawing up a business plan.

[@Dondizle]

Yeah, at 18 with no money managing skills, giving him the full $400k would be a huge mistake. Fair enough he has a business idea, but there's no plan for it and no skills, or experience to help him, just his Dunning-Kruger mindset. Also, with that kind of money his friends would take advantage until it's all gone. The money is there for his future, and if he allows his parents to help him get on the right track then his business could take off and be successful. As of right now, he's too young to make any major decisions without wanting help, without experience and without any knowledge of how to run a business.

[@mckenzie2423]

1st story: Op should divorce his wife. She is picking her daughter over her step-children, whilst accusing Op of favoritism. And she is blackmailing him with their relationship. It sounds like she was looking for a guy with money, saw that Op ‘had’ that money, realized that it was originally his late wife’s money, assumed she had willed all of it to him, saw he was probably still in a bad place, mourning his wife, and took advantage.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: YTA Op needs to reevaluate his whole marriage. This CAN'T be the only time his wife has been this manipulative to play favorites and dismissive of OP's daughter. He should talk to her and find out if she's ever felt like his wife has made her feel 2nd class. And I bet she did what she could to erase Kate from existence. Behavior like this doesn't just show up out of nowhere. Edit: Holy shit. I was...unaware of that further context. OP gets 5/5 buttholes for letting this woman stay in his children's lives. How has he not seen ALL of that as the massive red flag that it is. She doesn't give 2 cares for Claire. It's ALL about the money. Thankfully the brother is there. OP would have rolled over as he almost did here Edit 2: So I went to see if OP had posted any further updates and found this(amd similar comments) from 23 days ago. Someone asked for an update about how it went talkimg to his wife: "Not well. Will post an update this weekend once everything settles." "It's been a roller coaster. Lots of old issues about the kids and my wife have come to light." My guess is OP ignored their concerns about stepmom's behavior or dismissed them "growing pains" of their new family but now he's I'm a place to actually HEAR ...and it didn't go well.

[@Clairski3]

Hi! Do you have the link to that update? I found the archived thread, but no one is able to edit it anymore. Was this in the comments?

[@Mewse1203]

@@Clairski3 just do what I would: Google the title

[@Clairski3]

@@Mewse1203 that's what i did, but i could only find the archived version of the first story, not the one you found. Thanks though

[@JadeAnnabelArt]

Story 1; There's a similar story where someone DID give an heirloom that wasn't theres to give to their step daughter. The heirloom was inherited by the eldest daughter after her mum died, it was in the will that it belonged to her. The daughter is now no contact with her dad. Story 2; I actually agree with you on this. The money was put in the fund for college, which in america, is SUPER freaking expensive. While the son is entitled to not go to college, and is entitled to make his own choices... it's also reasonable for the parents to not be willing to sink money they spent years saving on a 'maybe successful, maybe not' business. Story 3; Seems like the dad needs to take a parenting class. The mum clearly doesn't understand 'what goes around comes around'

[@CidVeldoril]

The daughter whose heirloom was stolen should also go scorched earth and sue and report both the sister and dad for theft.

[@BlueberryBlanket]

Gonna have to disagree with you on the college money, RSlash. While a lot of the info in those classes aren't applicable to every business, taking the courses and getting good grades shows 1. Being able to commit to something 2. Having a basic understanding of what it takes to run a business and apply information 3. A willingness to learn and do the less fun, hard work side of growing a business. He doesn't need a business degree to be a good business owner, but I think the parents are totally reasonable in wanting him to take a few classes before burning that money.

[@Ramtamtama]

They'd also help him a lot if his business were to fail for any reason

[@GingerDangr]

The other thing I want to point out is about rslash's comment about seeing rich teens. *Of course* you're gonna see rich influencers. That's their job, to be visible. it's important to remember that for every successful influencer/teen startup you see is 100 more that failed that you don't see. There's no guarantee that OPs kid is gonna succeed, and if he doesn't then that's lot of money down the drain. The classes at least give him something of a fallback.

[@jamiec01222]

I agree, and I am thankful for the business management class I took in community College that gave me good insight even for my business of 1 person

[@gamingsnake1769]

And they offered to pay for it so it wouldn't even be his money. Just a little effort for 400k? Easy math. Oh and it's a collage fund. He isn't doing collage so no fund seems pretty basic

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

Agreed. And it's always a good idea to have a basic idea of how taxes work. A surprisingly large number of people don't, including one of the directors at my workplace and if it wasn't for me they could get themselves into trouble.

[@pattyhenry3637]

The story about the kid wanting his college fund.....I get what you're saying and the reasons behind it, but I can see why the parents are wanting to make sure he has a solid plan in place before handing over money. Maybe he's already proven that he isn't good at budgeting money. Maybe he needs to prove that he's not going to just quit whenever things get hard. Idk. BTW, I LOVE your channel ❤️

[@karenneill9109]

A college fund is for COLLEGE. My sisters and I all had college funds, and it was very clear that it was to pay for school. If we chose not to go to school, we had to wait until we were 25. Because 18 year olds have a habit of not making choices in their best interest.

[@vidhead85]

I remember someone lamenting that "All you ever tell someone to do is break up" I countered with "Sometimes we get a window into relationships and sometimes the backstory is even worse than the post suggests" The Heirloom story is a great example of that very thing

[@VaellinTheBard]

I disagree on the house part--the renting part. Most likely he was there with his kids before his wife passed away. Staying there (and likely paying the property taxes and whatnot) with his kids is fair. The fact he wants to move out when Claire turns 18 makes sense.

[@princessatellaluma]

i agree, also he’s presumably paying for utilities and groceries and everything claire needs so i think it’s fair for him to stay there wo paying rent

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

I guessed that the house belongs to Claire and both kids want their father to have a comfortable life in the home he shared with his wife, which is why they let him move their stepfamily in.

[@fdm2155]

Once the son wasn't living their, dad paying "taxes and whatnot" was not necessarily a fair renumeration for living in a luxury property in a desireable area. It was a gift from his kids, frankly. If they continue to live their after Claire moves out, dad and stepmom need to pay a reaosnable rent.

[@Dekubud]

Seriously. Maybe it's just my distaste for landlords, but I think family staying in someone's extra property rent-free (as long as they cover the bills and land tax) when they don't own a house themselves is a no-brainer. I actually hope I have the opportunity to buy or build a house with an in-law suite so I can offer my mom housing since we grew out poor and I'm tired of seeing landlords gouge everyone out of their hard-earned money. IMO, withholding free or at the very least reasonably priced housing from family who needs it is as disgusting letting your family go hungry when your garden grows more crops than you know what to do with.

[@missluciddreams3472]

Right? Like what was RSLASH going on about? His rant sounded a little unhinged.

[@Avrysatos]

For the second story I think he should go to a community college to learn the basics of accounting/book keeping class. So he knows how to keep his own accounts. The plan is a bit much though.

[@jennifert8542]

Was it ever said what the business was? I'm kinda curious.

[@DarcOne13]

I'd even let it go without classes if he at least has a business plan. he can hire an accountant with that money. An idea is WAY more important.

[@charminglady2011]

I agree. We have seen so many businesses go under in less than a year. At least to show how hungry he is. My brother runs a mobile barbershop. He went to school for business management courses.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

I agree with your first part, but disagree with the second. I don't think having a business plan is a bit much. As a former small business owner, yeah, it was only me and under 100k a year in profits, but writing up a business plan changed everything for me. All a business plan has to be is an outline of the steps needed to get the business started (Like necessary licensed, certificates, registrations, etc), necessary equipment, cost outlays, marketing plans, budgets, etc. Even the most unconventional business needs something like that. If you have no idea what you need to do, or where you need to go, then how do you get there? ESPECIALLY when an 18 year old is just expecting 400k to be handed over to them. That is especially stupid to do so without at least a general layout of plans. If he has no experience, no knowledge, no desire to gain any knowledge or experience, and refuses to even write down a plan, then OP would just be lighting that 400k on fire handing it over to an unprepared yet cocky and demanding teen. It's a college fund, not an "I want to spend it how I see fit without any accountability" fund.

[@dominicwehrmann8515]

It's a COLLEGE fund, not "get your life started" fund

[@goblinhero2900]

On the college fund story I have a sinking suspicion that the kid has a friend that wants to start a a business and is trying to get the kid to throw the full $400,000 into it. This sounds like if they give all this money to their son their son will be taken for a ride and be left flat broke. If we knew what kind of business we might have a better idea of exactly how legit or shady this all is.

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Second story: I understand that the son is angry, but OP literally wants to put a safety net for him. And Rslash, those clases aren't useless, they prepare you for what you want to dedicate, the fact that you never used your college knowledge doesn't make it useless.

[@PugGrumbler]

The definition of stealing. Getting express permission by one of the co-owners and being roommates with the other without complaint

[@SonicPrimus]

That last story...let me say that if that were my father and he grounded me for something like that, I'd be saving up money to buy an apartment, getting all my personal documents in secret, then at 18, I would straight up cut my father out of my life without even saying goodbye. If he's going to choose some neglectful bitch over his own kid, he doesn't get that courtesy, plain and simple.

[@charminglady2011]

It seems like another issue here too. He apparently is disliked by her step dad too. I am really concerned that neither parents seem to want him. Where are other relatives?

[@SonicPrimus]

@@charminglady2011 Right?! This poor kid has little to no support network! I hope OP can stick it to these jerks and make his father's life just a bit more difficult, but that's just me being petty.

[@vixievulpixie]

i dont think story 1 should get a butthole score just for being conflicted, thats a fucked situation to be in you're not an ass for being manipulated

[@uwwwort3862]

Agreed. The wife should get a butthole score. But he should not, he is asking for advice...

[@Godzilladino]

EXACTLY, I'm honestly annoyed at everyone calling him the AH. He isn't. He's just being manipulated and that's not his fault. First OP is NTA

[@notbudging]

Totally agree with you. Felt like he was asking for help and advice on his choices not making a decision.

[@Godzilladino]

@@notbudging Yeah, I can't rlly believe everyone calling him the asshole. He did nothing wrong, he's asking for help

[@Avrysatos]

If my dad dies the house goes to my sister and I with the stipulation that we must let my stepmother live there until she dies or (unlikely) remarries. I would have done this without the clause in there but I'm happy its there for her peace of mind. my stepmother isn't a money grubber and is a genuinely nice lady I call friend. Same with my stepfather. I can't even begin to imagine the sense of entitlement that this stepmother in story 1 has as my step parents are both just awesome people.

[@Nebraska60]

It’s bizarre to me that anyone would consider their college fund their money for anything other than college. It’s a college fund, not here’s a ton of money for when you turn 18.

[@Cccc123c33]

First story...if the new wife wants something special for her older daughter she should make a new heirloom for her bloodline. Thus both girls would get something special on their 18ths. Claire deserves one of the last bits from her mum irregardless.

[@robertterrile5432]

This for story #2... My step father passed away when I was 13 (I'm 33 now) and he left me $90,000 in a trust fund (my brother got the same and my sister both got $60,000 each), it was set up for when I turned 18 I would get the whole thing well my mother knew I wasn't good with money so she did a test, she gave me $10,000 and I blew all of that money in 2 months. I believe the reason why OP wanted to do this is to see if there kid was going to make good use of the money.

[@BrooklyKnight]

That last story... gee. I'd have responded to my dad in that scenario with "It's your responsibility to love and care for me but clearly you have no intention of doing that"

[@thetruth1816]

Just because that's facts then op "Dad" would kick him out right then and there..

[@cherylsorrell74]

It later came out in the comments that the necklace was in Kate's will to be given to Claire on her 18th birthday. Op gave it to his son for safekeeping.

[@elizabethsterk1561]

Third story about the parents holding onto his college funds, definitely NTA. My parents have a similar system with us and although we don't have $400,000, we have a little more than enough to get through college. The whole point of having college funds are to help get through college, paying for classes, uniforms, books, equipment for lab classes, stuff like that. If he doesn't want to go to college then technically he doesn't need it. This newer generation feels so entitled to money and things that aren't theirs and it's ridiculous. My dad told me that if I don't go to college he would give it to my sister because she goes to college and I was perfectly fine with that, my brother on the other hand dropped out of college and all of his college fund went to my sister (she goes to a more expensive college, so I don't mind). After two months he said he was ready to go back and my dad told him that if he wanted to get back into college he would have to pay for the classes that he dropped and prove to my dad he was ready to commit to college. He's still not in college.

[@numeristatech]

Also the first story reminds me of how my aunt was almost screwed out of her flat by her own daughter, who wanted her to put her flat up for sale and chip in with her daughter’s family to buy a bigger place… but tried to get her to sign paperwork that my Aunt’s funds would pay for the house no strings attached and she would be allowed to move in - as a renter/lodger. And if she does not pay the rent requested then she can be legally expulsed with zero recourse for her investment. And knowing how conniving and evil her daughter is…. That was very possibly the end-game…

[@everlasting9292]

I’ve heard the first story so many times. It’s this simple: the heirloom was Kate’s, and it goes to Kate’s daughter.

[@Raaslen]

Story 1: YTA, and we can include this story in the book "how to make your children go no-contact with you at 18". Story 2: NTA, the point is in the word "college" that comes before "fund", and since it appears that OP made it clear from the start to his son that it is a "COLLEGE fund" he can deny it for anything that isn't college. On the other hand, I agree that the classes are a bit executive, a well-made business plan should suffice, and depending on what his son wants, OP could give the money in 4 installments of 100k each to make sure it isn't all going to waste.

[@djwolfenstein]

That last story my god. OP needs to gather all his important documents and plan an exit strategy then cut all contract with his father and his witch because they are the most despicable people on this planet

[@thetruth1816]

Agree 1000%

[@BeanManolo]

Second story: I feel the son NEEDS the classes. Even if it's to show they're really mature. Like other comments said, starting a business without the minimal knowledge and being succesful, specially at that age, is the exception not the rule; That and I must say: the son IS being a bit spoiled. It's not like the parents are trying to force him to use the college fund for what they want first. OP explained: he and his wife wouldn't touch the fund for these classes, but pay out their own pocket, the money on the fund would still go 100% to their son; So the son doesn't want to go to college or anything similar, wants to use the money to start a 'business' that he doesn't even told what is about, and when his parents say "okay, but first least do this classes we're gonna pay with our own money so you have at least some base" he says they're trying to force him? Sorry but that's being a spoiled brat. The parents are offering to pay for him even extra than the money they already added to the fund, and he acts like that; He's lucky they're even still considering to give him the fund after that, because they could very well take the money back.

[@trebled9314]

rSlash, you don't know me, I don't know you. All you need to know is thank you for uploading every day consistently for so long. You're one of the few channels in existence that upload regularly like this. Keep up your content man, you're the best youtuber

[@lacko623]

Another great collection of stories, good Sir! Story 1: If that family heirloom belonged to the side of the family of your deceased wife, then her only daughter has the right to inherit. Period. It's nice, that you've adopted your step daughter, but she has no claim. Your current wife is a mooch as is simply terrible. Story 2: I kind of disagree, it was a COLLEGE fund after all. If you don't want to go to college, some would say, you forfeit the right to that money. Plus I highly doubt, that an 18 year old fresh out of high school has any real knowledge on how a successful business is run. He doesn't want to go to college, doesn't want to go to trade school. Heck, he doesn't even want to join the family business to at least have a chance to learn a thing or two about running a business. He just wants the money and start a business with (presumably) zero fundamental business knowledge. Recipe for "success". Story 3: OP needs to either call CPS and/or depending on whether that's a possible option, then file for emancipation. Or try to endure the next two years and save up to be able move out, the moment you turn 18. Hopefully, stepmom won't expect you to pay rent in the meantime. She's terrible and your dad is a straight up douche for not having your back. I agree that it shouldn't be your responsibility to mend the relationship. Especially when stepmom already declared, that she doesn't want you around.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

I think its illegal to take rent from minors, so lets hope OPs parents aren't that stupid/mean

[@black1917]

@@Scarlett.Granger It is and needs to call CPS. They likely remove OP from the home but they WILL CRACK DOWN on the dad and stepmom.

[@akl2k7]

@@Scarlett.Granger Yeah, it's illegal, but there are quite a few stupid parents that do it anyway and (try to) get away with it. Of course, those parents are idiots who are setting their relationship with their kids on fire just for a little extra cash, and who'll never see their kids again once they move out.

[@anndownsouth5070]

I am so happy that you gave the dad in the last story such a high butthole score, because although the stepmom is a crazy BH, the dad is doubly abusive because he should protect his child from abuse even if it's from his wife. (or especially if it's his wife)

[@Sorchia56]

I agree! The dad is just as wretched! I feel so bad for that poor young man!

[@Rseaxlt]

But what if he is being abused

[@Ljtaw]

I think they both deserve 5/5. Forcing a minor to fend for themselves is despicable. Then expect said minor to help feed another family member and get mad when he doesn't. Though my imagination is running wild with how bad his stepdad is if he prefers the abuse from his stepmom. It looks like OP is essentially an orphan at this point. And at 18 he definitely needs to go no contact for his own sanity.

[@spydersoup8447]

@@Rseaxlt More like he's an ambulator and doesn't see anything wrong with the step-mother's actions. He's also hinting that he's sexist as well and expects the women to do the shopping and cooking for him.

[@njcheddar]

Literally, where has been all this time when his wife is abusing the 16 y/o minor? And when he gave the wife the taste of her own medicine then suddenly its unacceptable??? I personally would give the wife 4 bh points and the dad 4.5. I feel so bad for OP. None of his "parents" are even decent human being.

[@cakedUraniumMuffin]

Story 1: OP’s 2nd wife has got to be doing some wild “thangs” for him to have married this woman and even considered screwing his kids over financially…🤦‍♀️

[@leovonlion]

For the last story: A few things are completely unforgivable and unredeemable to me, child abuse is one of them, no matter what. 5/5 Buttholes for both the parents from me.

[@Clairski3]

Story 3 - if the son prefers to stay with this abusive stepmother over his mom's new husband, then how bad is this stepfather?!

[@arirose5887]

Binge watching rslash videos while I wait to finally go into labor ✌🏽 Edit: due in 4 days, only 6 cm to go 🎉 been listening to rslash every morning the whole pregnancy to have something to listen to while I throw up every morning from having HG. Thanks for being apart of the morning routine for the last 9 months rslash!

[@Avrysatos]

I hope it goes quick for you and you have a wonderful time after with your new family member!

[@arirose5887]

@@Avrysatos thank you!!!😁

[@kamaucreque9566]

Good luck and Congratulations

[@maieen2665]

Best of luck to you and your baby (or babies)!

[@SparDanger]

Hope you have a healthy baby!!

[@samhainnc9416]

The college fund story. That money would be gone in less than a year if they hand it over to him to start a 'business'. The fact he has not told them what he wants to start is a good indicator it would be something foolish or to invest in a friend's grand idea. They saved it for school and have no problem still giving it up IF he gets some education in money mangerment. Something ALL jobs, businesses ect needs. So you don't have to hire others to manage your money.

[@rylo2795]

Op of the last story needs to have a plan together for when he is 18. He is 100% getting kicked out the day he turns 18. And this is absolutely a no contact situation. It sucks to say, but, in 2 years he will be completely alone and needs to be ready for that. Edit: ok, so I hadn't actually finished the story when I wrote that and rslash said the same. Whoops.

[@Bound4Earth]

A college fund is meant for the child to attend college. I am with the father on this one, it is not the child's money to just throw away or spend on whatever he wants.

[@Nope148]

I honestly think evil stepmom and the father need an extra 0.5 added to their score. Allowing this neglect and abuse to happen is nothing short of inexcusable, and this teenager's father has failed him beyond redemption.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- YTA, I'm glad Claire’s big brother has her back and that their mother left a will behind that they can use to protect themselves. 2- NTA, Rslash buddy! For every successful entrepreneur, there are 100 of people that crashed and burned faster than you can say WeWork. Learning business literacy and having a backup career to fall back on is a smart move.

[@notbudging]

Disagree with the YTA here. I viewed it as he was looking for advice on his choices; since he hadn't made a decision and it felt like looking for help. 100% agree though if he did give the step daughter the heirloom, he'd be a huge asshole and I hope the son would kick them all out of the house except his sister.

[@bridi0821]

@@notbudging i hard disagree with you. he’s TA for still staying with his wife after she’s repeatedly tried to steal money from his children. Money that was given to them by their DEAD MOTHER

[@notbudging]

@@bridi0821 That point of view I can get behind. The post about the Heirloom itself makes it seem likes he's fighting against his new wife's wishes at every turn and that's why everything is coming to a head more, at least to me. I personally think he's just confused and if he stays with her any longer he's gonna be the asshole too. Totally get your point of view.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

@@notbudging OP is the AH for not noping out of that marriage the second his new wife tried using his children’s inherents. He knew the kind of person he married, and Claire would've probably had everything taken from her if it wasn't for her older brother, who kept standing up to the stepmom.

[@notbudging]

@@MorganVsTheInternet I'm not gonna call him an asshole without more information on when this started. It sounded like he shut her down constantly and now she's grasping at straws to try to take control. Kinda like "you don't really love me if you don't do this ". Some of those things don't start coming out until later in the marriage/relationship. I don't think he's an asshole for asking for advice in his confusion since it also feels like he's being manipulated to me. He standing up to her and is feeling guilty, probably being pressured to "make it right". I think the wife is an asshole and I think after this if he stays he's an asshole too, big time. If he follows through with giving it to her I hope they all get kicked out of the house and brother helps his sister and goes no contact. Right now though I'm giving the dad benefit of the doubt since he sounds like he's asking for help. These are red flags to us but so many people don't see them without outside assistance. He will be the asshole if he stays with her. I think he needs a divorce yesterday to get away from them and be with his kids.

[@Snak3mast3r]

A college fund is a fund for college. If I was gonna essentially pay for my sons business, I’d want them to know the basics of business. They aren’t talking about getting a whole degree, just getting a plan set. The kid is kinda bratty for just expecting money when it was set aside for education.

[@deirdredraginoff3760]

Third story: I think holding the boys college fund until he has some business classes under his belt is a good idea. First of all, if he really wants it, he'll do what it takes. It sounds like the parents are also in business so they have an understanding of what it takes. I'm an entrepreneur, coming from two parents who are entrepreneurs, with lots of family who own and operate businesses. You could be holding someone's livelihood and life in your hands. If you mess up, someone might not be able to pay their rent. A year of classes at a junior college won't hurt.

[@Pizzalover7199]

I belive that it is the second story not the first.

[@sandy1148]

First story. Have a conversation with your biological daughter warning her about your wife that she may try to manipulate her into signing over the house or giving her some of her inheritance.

[@RadiantAngel]

As a lot of people pointed out, successful teen business owners are an exception, not the rule. And most of the successful cases had other resources like wealthy parents or parents with industry knowledge/network the kid benefited from. Even the success stories without all that are affected by a simple yet unforgiving thing: luck. As someone who wants to invest and start my business one day, I have seen so many cases of adults more knowledgeable and experienced falling while another succeeded just because of it. Look at what COVID did to a lot of businesses recently. A lot of businesses that were doing well before the pandemic had to close their doors by the end of the lock-down.

[@angellawless1548]

First story: OH HELL NO. Your son is right OP, its his mums not yours or your new wifes. Its thats familys heirloom not your new wifes or her daughters. Give it to the 16yo for crying out loud, it belongs to her

[@1Kapuchu100]

Story #2 seems... very simple? Son - "I want to do X with the money." OP - "Okay. You can do X with the money, but I want you to create a solid foundation for X first, to give you the best chances of success." Son - "You're a Butthole!" What OP is doing is supportive, but setting expectations. I think that's overall rather healthy? 400k is a CRAPTON of money, and if the Son doesn't know how to run a business, that money can disappear near instantly. So expecting him to get a few classes that equips him with the bare minimum to actually DO what he wants to do, is a completely fair expectation. The thing is, if the Son currently (presumably) doesn't know how to run a business. It's easy to say "just start a business" or "I'm gonna start a business!" The lay person doesn't know what that entails. I had NO idea what that entailed, until I took a course that introduced me to it. Expecting someone to be able to make something with even a shadow of a chance at success, without the proper knowledge, is reckless. So yes, rSlash, I think you're off base here. OP is trying to help his son succeed, not holding anything hostage. It's like the difference between giving an infant and icecream, and a toddler. The Toddler has learned how to hold on to something, and so can enjoy their icecream on their own, but the infant will just drop it on the ground, because they haven't learned/aren't strong enough, to hold it on their own.

[@DarkusZarvix]

The son wanting to start his own business right out of high school story. The classes are not controlling nor are they implying that he has to have a brick and mortar place. The classes are probably just a way for the parents to make sure their son knows what goes into running a business before dumping tons of money into it. It sounds like the son isn't just wanting to do a KZbin channel type of business that starts out super simple and is inexpensive to get going. The cost to enter that field is cheap. It's hard to know the type of business since it wasn't given, not every business is the same in terms of start up and what you need to get going. Is it the type of business where he'd need multiple employees, or something he could do by himself until it takes off? It's not like he has experience in managing from years of other jobs since he's only around 17 years old, I assume. These classes will enforce his business if he sticks to it or he will learn how hard it is then opt to try and be a manager, with the classes he took as experience to put on a resume to gain experience before starting a business later in life. Maybe a compromise would be to argue away some of the courses depending on what type of business he goes into but leave basic business classes with a business plan as requirements so they're meeting him in the middle but making sure to be a guide so it isn't' a waste of money. I don't think this is at all unreasonable. The son being 17 should have known that the parents won't just give it to him. It was a "college fund", implying there's inherent structure of an institution and knowledge. Starting a business that fails is a waste of money and you don't really get much out of that. Lost time, money and experience compared to being patient and starting it well infortmed. The parents aren't asking he get a business major degree or anything, just a course or two. And honestly, he could maybe find some online accredited courses to streamline the process instead of needing it from the local college. I run a business on Etsy and have been doing so for a few years; solely by myself with spare money, basically as a hobby. Would having these classes helped me? YES. Absolutely. I'd probably be more successful than now. However, I wasn't fortunate enough to have the funds to take classes, after already getting a degree in something else and needing loans for that. I learn most of what I know online through searches but that pales in comparison to a well doctored course.

[@crichtonbruce4329]

Regarding story one: If there is an award for "Most manipulative SO/Ahole" it MUST goes to OP's current wife.

[@notbudging]

She sounds like a real POS.

[@rabbidrabbitgaming1485]

Wife story: I'd honestly probably give a tad bit of leniency towards the father in that story for considering giving it away, mostly for the reason of, if I got two threats and had to take a pick on how I'd lose, I'd definitely want an unbiased opinion from reddit. Especially since the mother seems to be pressuring him a bit more and that might make him question his common sense. And from what I'm hearing, it's not like he would have really considered giving the step-daughter the heirloom considering he refused to sell the house and stuff like that. I honestly think the mate saw he was put between two very real threats and just wanted to confirm that he was thinking straight when making the decision. But that's just my opinion, take it as you will.