r/AmITheA**hole for Refusing to Adopt BOTH of My Sister's Babies?

[@songohan3321]

For the first story, OP needs to run. Run like he has never ran before. His girlfriend is a legal liability.

[@thepotatogod2951]

@good one no it isnt

[@splendidpursuits8153]

Wife, and if most of the kids stuff is there does dad have primary custody? If so what's up that dad has primary custody (because biased courts, not dads)? I have to wonder if custody was intentionally glossed over and mom is more sus than OP lets on.

[@MyFiddlePlayer]

If he doesn't tell, he is aiding and abetting a felony. How is he even agonizing over this? Right vs. wrong is very clear here.

[@joimumu]

@@MyFiddlePlayer agree he can face jail time for this

[@charminglady2011]

@@splendidpursuits8153 he glossed it over because she isn't his kid. Listen closely. It sounds like mom doesn't let him have a step father relationship with her.. Wife is so controlling he doesn't even notice. You are right though, wife is definitely sus. As for custody, I dated 2 guys who had full custody of their kids. Both of them had good jobs while their exes didn't work. Both women lost their kids, and didn't have mental illness. (Then again I am getting second hand account so I don't know how true it is)

[@savagebear4374]

Third story: OP is a saint and a good sister for taking in her niece. She has had made enough sacrifices for her. OPs sister seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it as well. I dont blame OP for reacting the way she did. NTA

[@curtistic5724]

Usually in these cares, it's the parents that wind up raising their grandchildren. I know some people this happened to.

[@bridi0821]

First story: how insecure and hypocritical do you have to be to get mad that your ex is dating someone while YOU GOT MARRIED after your relationship? OP’s wife is concerned their ex’s girlfriend could abuse her daughter? How does their ex know OP isn’t going to abuse their daughter?!!?

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

Clair is jealous of Adam because they are frequently having intercourses behind OP's back

[@Tues48]

This happens way more often than it should. My parents got separated after I was born. I lived with my mother until I moved out at 18. My father came back into my life at age 17. My mom was so happy when she learned he wasn't in a relationship. Then he got a girlfriend and it pissed her off and I always asked her why when she dates other men. And she just goes on this point that he should be faithful to his first wife and then I just drop it cause then we'll go in circles. It never made sense to me. I'm happy when both of my parents are in happy relationships.

[@strikeforce1500]

I'm more surprised of how OP is like "Huh, maybe, maaaaybe, my GF is somewhat wrong in the head"

[@josephnorris4095]

This is a situation where that man could definitely do better, it is time to be masculine, set boundaries and take charge. If that does not change anything, time for a divorce.

[@annika5893]

"She might be a witch of a step-mom!" I'm thinking it might actually be better than having a bat shit insane birth mom.

[@ydrahkcin]

Story 2: Parents are freeloaders, and son is freeloader in the making. How convenient that they were not going to include you by default, but then had a change of heart and ALL THREE forgot their wallets at the same time. This was planned. This was manipulative. This was all because you are a Doctor and they feel like you owe them some of your money because you make more than them. LEAVE

[@doctordetroit1217]

It's funny that they all knew that they had forgotten their wallets without even checking their pockets, even more so when they are good Christian people!

[@michaeltelson9798]

I was brought up that if you invited someone out to eat, that you are the de facto host. Hosts cover costs, not guests. Also, how did they get there without D/L’s or paying for a Uber/Lyft or taxi?

[@ahstiasummers5583]

@@michaeltelson9798 Extension of this is that if you invite someone out, you pay. The guest pays either if 1) it was established upfront that they intended on splitting costs 2) the guest volunteers to pay

[@Bremend]

Whenever someone says they "will pray for you", what they really mean is they will hope you change your thinking to align with them in the future or they will curse you going forward. Seen it way too often from old school religious folks...

[@thestrangeriamo.o9829]

What I don't get is why couldn't one of them go home and get their wallet while explaining to the restraint that two of them will stay while one of them gets the money?

[@luvondarox]

The longer OP waits to tell Adam about Claire's super-sus spy game, the worse it's going to get. Claire is crazy, man.

[@joythefrankenfluffy1635]

Yeah...this sounds like there could be several civil and criminal issues here.

[@janputz4157]

@you know You people are becoming an epidemic...

[@JadeAnnabelArt]

Found the reddit post, he opted to tell Adam, even if his wife screams at him about it. Honestly sounds like he needs a new wife.

[@lduker9731]

@@janputz4157 it’s a bot just report and ignore.

[@luvondarox]

@@JadeAnnabelArt Ooh, thank you! And amen to that; Claire needs a reality check or OP needs to ditch her crazy and go find a stable, sane family to join. That MiL is on on it, too, is just... yikes.

[@emmac.757]

The sister definitely announced her pregnancy and front of her daughter so that she could manipulate OP more

[@DarkEinherjar]

"If I wanted an a-hole's opinion, I would've farted." I'm saving this for the future. Best response ever.

[@DarkFireElement94]

That got me laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe and listening to Reddit stories on KZbin always cheers me up whenever I feel down.

[@madisonmartin6747]

*999/10 response would and will use as comeback*

[@ronbucher3172]

Same can't wait to use this pure gold

[@loralunafantasy]

Story 3 makes me so frickin mad. This "mother" completely parentified her sister and plans to unload another child on her when she knew damn well she never wanted kids in the first place. AND she outright tried to trap OP into saying yes by getting the kid and grandparents all excited about it before even telling OP about the pregnancy! OP's sister needs to be sterilized if she ain't gonna take responsibility.

[@lostshadows768]

Story 1: Why do you want to stay in this relationship? Get proof, tell Adam, and talk to a divorce lawyer. Oh, and check your place for cameras.

[@velvety2006]

It kinda sounds like is a temporary solution until adam gets a revelation and thinks 'what am I doing, I love my ex she is the only one for me! I must have her back!''

[@tinydancer7426]

Good point about checking his own home for cameras.

[@GeorgeVCohea-dw7ou]

Your steps are in the wrong order. He needs a lawyer first to guide him through it! A criminal defense attorney who also handles divorce is what he needs at a minimum, but ideally, if he can afford it, a separate criminal defense and a divorce attorney from within the same firm. He needs to protect himself and his rights first and foremost!

[@merlinathrawes746]

Truthfully I'd want to see if there was some way to tell if my phone had been cloned so OP's wife would know if he'd call Adam. I would for certain LOCK my phone and not give her the lock code and be sure it isn't something she could guess.

[@tinydancer7426]

@@merlinathrawes746 Or ..... he could cover that issue by just buying a cheap phone at the grocery store, put just enough minutes on it to call Adam and have a lengthly conversation and then dispose of the phone ..... or get a safe deposit box and keep it there ..... and keep all only records of the phone in a password protected hidden file on that phone only.

[@cymbamcreynolds8838]

Story 2: Don't marry him! That was a set up for sure, especially since they've done that to op before. The fact they they also aren't living together because of her in-laws values also feels like they'll feel even more entitled to control op, op's money, and marriage. Run!

[@demondogmom7221]

Do not marry this man... this is just a giant red flag of your future...

[@analyticalchick3064]

So conservative the men think the woman should pay for dinner.

[@charleneblack2792]

When my daughter was 16, she was invited to a seafood restaurant for her friends bday. The mother took her entire $75 claiming she had to pay for her own food, which was $23. 2yrs later, she was invited to a cabin for a weekend, for the same friend, in which she was expected to pay $200 for the friends birthday. I told her hell no. They're no longer friends. Don't invite someone to something and expect them to pay. It's shitty.

[@wolcek]

Well, invite them, but if you want them to chip in, tell them beforehand. And don't be mad if they refuse - it is a transaction, after all.

[@annika5893]

Yeah, if an invitation to family dinner (or birthday party or anything) is always going to come with a huge bill then that's taking advantage. And to threaten with a damage in the relationship or not being friends again? Ouch, what a heavy loss for sure. To imagine you will no longer be invited to pay up for everyone.

[@AyaShan22]

I always ask my friends to chip in when it's a big event. When the bill for any event goes over 100 yea, people need to pay back. As long as you let them know before hand they can make the choice whether to go or not.

[@stepitup25]

So the friend’s mother stole her money. That’s dirty. They could have told you or your daughter beforehand that your daughter would need to pay for her own meal, at the very least.

[@fdm2155]

Any payment expectations should be made VERY clear in the invitation.

[@halfdemon4lifeintime]

Claire is controlling. Claire is hung up on Adam. That’s why she needs this control. And Adam should sue her for invasion of privacy and possible primary custody as I 100% believe mom will use the daughter as a pawn.

[@stoopingfalcon891]

Yeah I would love to find out if there is a follow up story about this, when Adam found out.

[@spydersoup8447]

There is. In one reply, OP stated that he is fully aware that what Claire is doing is illegal and had even tried telling her about it but he didn't have any success with it because she kept giving him the same response as in this story. And OP did add in an update where OP finally told Adam about it, Claire is upset at OP about it for going behind her back and OP told her that he's not getting involved in this anymore and is done. So, I think it's safe to say that OP has finally ended his relationship with Claire. Also, OP did give of hints that Adam has full custody of his daughter, which all of this is telling us about the reason why they've divorced and why Claire does not have any custody of her daughter at all.

[@NEPAAlchey]

First story is probably a felony. If he doesn't snitch they're all going to jail for a long time.

[@limiv5272]

He might get off easy if he can prove he wrote this post and it convinces the court he wasn't involved in installing the cameras, but yes

[@spaceduck413]

@@limiv5272 This post would only make him an accomplice - it proves he had knowledge of an ongoing crime and was complicit (assuming he doesn't tell the ex).

[@Wishphoenix1]

@you know that sounded like nails on a chalkboard! Why would you link that? Did you put a wrong link in by mistake?

[@lancerevell5979]

He needs to tell Adam, about HIS WIFE'S illicit actions. OP needs to let Adam know he had no knowledge his wife did this If Adam presses charges on her, so be it. She committed the crime. If OP loses his marriage, it's likely for the best, who wants to remain married to someone who would do this? What else is she willing to do against the law?

[@limiv5272]

@@spaceduck413 Yes, as opposed to being the actual perpetrator. I would think he would get a lesser charge and lighter punishment in such a case, wouldn't he?

[@GeekWeeklyReal]

Can we talk about how the sister who gave her daughter away is way worse because she proved she’s known for a while that she was pregnant. She specifically said brother, meaning she knows the gender, which is quite along, like many months(in a context of 9 month pregnancy) so she specifically waited for Christmas to spring this on them and legit tried to manipulate everyone to take care of her responsibility. I’d have given a 4.5/5

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: Giving OP the baby the first time because of teen pregnancy was understandable, but doing it again after becoming an adult is just not wanting to be a responsible parent in the worst way possible. She just wants to keep sleeping with other people, and having to take care of a baby at the same time would throw a wrench in that.

[@utej.k.bemsel4777]

Goddamn, USE A FRICKING CONDOM!

[@PseudoUematsu]

@@utej.k.bemsel4777 or even better, keep your legs shut

[@rennanoire.7342]

OP's sister needs to get her tubes tied or get an IUD. They cost less than hospital bills, childcare, and adoption fees. Did this woman fail Sex Ed.?

[@ccarlymartin]

We could complain all day about the sister, but the situation is what it is now. They need a solution. IF she decides to take on the baby, I suggest doing it under one condition: she get her tubes tied when the baby is born. Otherwise, she should give it up for adoption because this could become an endless cycle. Such a tough situation, I hope they are able to resolve it by making the best decisions for the innocent child.

[@ericwilliams1659]

@@ccarlymartin nope, you take to a visit to the stair museum. Wink, wink

[@Tustin2121]

There’s a difference between “brutal honestly” and “lacking tact”, and he’s using the former as an ‘excuse’ for being the latter. Thank you so much RSlash for tearing the guy a new butthole.

[@WolfgangDoW]

I had an ex like this, they would say they were being "blunt" but they was actually just being brutal and cruel, and refused to acknowledge or apologize for repeatedly shaming me

[@pixlbelle8081]

There’s a saying I live by: Honesty without kindness is cruelty. Kindness without sincerity is manipulation. I try to be as honest as I can, but I also take peoples feelings into consideration before I say anything because that’s what being considerate is. It’s one thing to be brutally honest, there are times when it’s best to be that way. But trying to be honest at any and all times isn’t good when there’s certain factors at play- sometimes you gotta swallow your pride and just listen and respond appropriately. There’s a wrong time and place to be “right”

[@DebtsofImmortality]

Let's make this clear, and I want to make this extremely clear. If you're invited somewhere, it's either split the bill or the person who invited you pays, but if you invite someone else, you pay. It's not that hard, but OP needs to shut Sam out

[@Juju2927]

Yeah. People really think that 'inviting someone' only consists of asking them to come to an event with you.

[@DebtsofImmortality]

@@Juju2927 It’s called not being an asshole. When you invite someone to dinner, make sure you have the funds

[@rameynoodles152]

I don't believe for a minute that literally EVERYBODY knows that the person inviting should be ready to pay, or be upfront when inviting that they can't pay for you. Anybody doing otherwise is just a piece of shit.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I bet OP paid for her own engagement ring, too. 🙄🙄 She needs to dust off her spine, find some standards, and take out the trash.

[@rameynoodles152]

Can't edit comments, but I noticed a typo. I meant I don't believe that there is any single person that doesn't know what the right thing is when paying for dinners.

[@pokemonslayer3345]

Last story: OPs sister and her boyfriend are full of themselves, they were pointing out OPs infertility issues and saying it's for the best now considering her age, but as soon as OP stands up for herself and roasts the boyfriend, they turn into a crybabies and leave. I can see how the sister and her boyfriend found each other, they're exactly alike.

[@icedevil3795]

He also insulted her based on a medical issue she has no control over, which she could be sensitive to, he definitely should have got a higher AH score.

[@HatoHearto]

That’s the thing with those “brutally honest” people: they are the definition of “you dish it but you can’t take it”

[@midnightbeans2733]

Ya

[@VicGeorge2K6]

Then there are the women who can't take an "honest opinion" from a man even when it isn't delivered brutally.

[@gravyz2cute4u]

So true. I've never met one of those people who could take any form of criticism, even when you sugar-coat it.

[@powerpuff_avenger]

Yeah, you don't have this problem with Dutch people. If they ask each other whether you like an outfit, you can say no (maybe explain that you don't think the shape/colour looks flattering on your body), and you can be sad, but you take it in stride BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR OPINIONS. We don't expect people to only crawl up our asses so far that they come back out through our cake holes again when asking: "what do you think?". The key is to not be a douche bag about it and choose your wording carefully. "That eye shadow/lipstick/etc. colour doesn't really work with your skin tone imo." is fine but "shit you look like a clown with that make-up!" isn't.

[@justasentientmclarenp1879]

When I hear “brutally honest type” I assume mega douche bag until proven otherwise

[@SirXer]

I feel so bad for the woman in the 'once is enough' segment. That's so messed up, and so utterly cruel to do to her- she is her own person who deserves to live the life that makes her happy. She shouldn't have to have her kindness taken advantage of, and forced to clean up after her sister failing to take care of the consequences of her poor choices (not taking birth control, being reckless, being neglectful).

[@asterross]

Second story: HIS parents will pray for OP?? Yeah, nta, they planned this. They figured, hey she's a doctor, she can afford to pay for all of us. I think it's time to set your boundaries OP, that you are NOT a piggy bank.

[@velvety2006]

I wonder if it was also a test to see how submissive she was to her bf, can't have a dill who thinks for herself too much afteral.

[@dx1450]

@@velvety2006 I was wondering that too, if it was some sort of test. Or if the parents expected her to constantly support them financially after the marriage. At any rate, she needs to ditch her fiancee and stay far, far away from them.

[@velvety2006]

@@dx1450 Oh I can really see them get married and then him moving his parents in while she is at work and then expect her to wait on them hand and foot.

[@CountessJJ]

There's no way three grown adults forget their wallets. It was either a test of a set up. And either way it's rude as heck, hope she gets out.

[@dx1450]

@@velvety2006 Sadly, that happened to my wife's cousin. Her husband's parents moved in with them and she basically had to wait on them hand and foot. I don't know if that's still the living arrangement, though, that was quite a few years back.

[@TALKINGtac0]

I have an aunt who got pregnant by accident 3 times. What pissed me off is even though she's kept her kids, she's uprooted the lives of the people closest to her cause they're constantly having to help her take care of her kids. She doesn't have her own place so she stays with my grandparents in their small tightfit home. If she needs someone to take care of her kids, its usually my grandparents. And she'll get into arguments with them because she's ungrateful and for some reason cant stand her kids being disciplined by the same people that help take care of them. She had some court issues that my own dad was trying to help her resolve, since he's pretty savy with the kind of legal issies she was having. Even after all the trouble he went through for her, she rarely took his advice and got surprised when it didnt go her way. Most recently she crashed her car so she's been using my dad's car who now has to take my sister to school, an hour away, via public transportation. This has been going in for a month. She's an entire mess.

[@Ryan_2218]

First story: Even if you ignore the obvious problem with the cameras, OP’s wife sounds really manipulative to him. He needs to see a divorce lawyer asap and talk to Adam

[@ThePixel1983]

Exactly. If she does this to her ex, what will she do to you?

[@snake5solid]

What the hell, since when the invited party has to pay? It's exactly the other way around. OP was the only one who would be allowed not to bring her wallet since she was the one who was invited.

[@shadowfang269]

“No we invited you we’ll pay” interesting that they “forgot” their wallets as soon as Op insisted on paying her bit of the bill If you can’t afford one child, you shouldn’t spread your legs to have another. Even if you are on the pill the guy should still be using a condom.

[@alexandermccalla5098]

I think that their rejection to her splitting the bill was because they intended for her to pay the whole bill. Lol it's kinda funny because unless they walked to the restaurant, they had been driving around without wallets. All 3 of them.

[@sonicloser23]

Or just have an abortion shit I can’t afford one kid let alone 2 loool

[@dx1450]

I think they were probably lying about forgetting their wallets. I mean, what were they going to do if the OP hadn't joined them at the restaurant? From the way the story was written, sounded like they were already there when she joined them. And it would be one hell of a coincidence that all three of them happened to "forget" to bring any way to pay for dinner. No, it was either some kind of weird test or they had it planned for the OP to pay for their meal, probably not just then but would probably expect her to help them financially for the rest of their lives, I'm guessing. She needs to seriously reevaluate her relationship and ask herself if she wants those people in her life.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@dx1450 Well considering she said they "forgot their wallets (plural) **again**" and "expected her to pay, **again**", we can infer this is something they've done more than once to OP. That leads me to believe they feel since OP is "the doctor" that she is obligated to completely fund all 3 of them for life. I don't think it was a test, it just feels too planned and choosing beggary.

[@BusArch42]

Totally agree.

[@ggAsuna]

2nd story: I doubt they actually forgot their wallet, but if they did, I'd recommend them to pay with their phone, its 2022 after all (lots of options out there) OR, use your phone, transfer the money for the dinner to OP, and then OP can pay. They did have their phones after all.

[@alezot6141]

Story #3: the sheer AUDACITY of the sister and parents is staggering...

[@velvety2006]

not gonna be surprised if she get pregnant a 3rd and fourth time

[@skaarphy5797]

Not to mention the manipulativeness of it. Giving the niece this t-shirt instead of talking to OP about it? That's some fucked-up shit.

[@dx1450]

@@velvety2006 Of course, because she never learned from the first two times and always had someone to bail her out.

[@mr.satanas206]

Just tell them that if they love the kid that much they can destroy their lives for him

[@savannahs.5874]

@@mr.satanas206 exactly!!! If the sister and their parents want to gaslight OP about it so much then why don't THEY take of it?

[@MusketeerGweneth]

The last story reminded me of this: I went to a Wedding where the DJ and the Bridesmaid were a married couple. I don't remember who said it but I had overheard part of a conversation that this couple didn't want kids. It wasn't until after they had already been together for 10 years that they had a child together. At the Wedding, they had a toddler son who was just getting the hang of walking. There was a moment that the little guy used my shoulder to steady himself as he struggled to make his way down the porch steps to go to his dad and that was really the only interaction I had with them that I remember. The Wedding took place in a back yard of a home where a family member of the bride was living. I thought that it was really beautiful that they chose to take those 10 years for themselves and go through all the couple issues before bringing a child into their lives. I remember those two well because they were so close and I just hope that one day I can have something like that, you know?

[@WolfgangDoW]

I definitely think that so many parenting issues are cos people get married and have kids way too soon Your 20s should be spent unpacking everything from your own childhood, so that you don't just repeat the same crap onto your own kids. Break the cycle

[@Nerobyrne]

You ever notice that when people say "stay in your lane", they're actually in your lane and trying to kick you out?

[@Ax-xo4ux]

So many times someone’s told me “stay in your lane” and I often reply “this IS my lane”

[@spydersoup8447]

First story: In the comment section, OP did say that he's fully aware that what Claire is doing is illegal and he tried telling her this, but she kept giving him the same response which is that she wants to make sure Adam's girlfriend is not an abusive parent. The story itself has an update where OP finally tells Adam about it, Claire is upset and OP tells her that he's not getting involved in this and that he's pretty much done with Claire, so, I assume he finally ended his relationship with her. Second story: Yeah, this is an obvious scheme. They want someone else to pay for them rather than paying it for themselves. How cheap are these guys? Third story: Uh, doesn't OP's sister know how birth control works? Does she not even take them and pay for it? I understand the first time she accidently got pregnant, but she's still this irresponsible at 26? And yeah, birth control is expensive, but it seems like she's a pro-life person, which explains why even when accidently gotten pregnant, she never even bothers getting an abortion and instead decides to carry out the pregnancy and dump the child to her sister. In that case, why not even turn to adoption either or look for families to give your baby to? Though I did hear that adoption is pretty messy. But still, it feels like OP's sister just doesn't want to deal with the problems she created, so instead of killing off the fetus, she gives it to her sibling. Basically, the only thing she views OP as is a get-out-of-jail-free card for the problems she created. Last story: One little mistake you made which actually got me confused, which is that you stated that OP is a guy and the bit where OP's husband is brought up, I was like "Ah, so OP is a married gay man, so it looks like OP's sister's boyfriend is going to be criticising OP for being gay and being married to a guy when he should be married to a woman. Sounds like a classic story about OP facing a homophobic". But when getting to parts about OP and her husband not having kids and OP having infertility issues, I was like "Wait, that doesn't sound right. Why would OP's sister's boyfriend criticize a married gay couple for not being able to have kids and having infertility issues?". I had to go back to the beginning to make sure I didn't miss anything and it turns out that at the beginning, OP is a female, not a male, and you read over it as if OP is a male. Can you please make sure you read the stories clearly and not just glossing over them just so you don't end up making these little errors that will confuse people?

[@ThePirateprincess23]

It sounds like OP in the first story made the right call and followed through.

[@jayzo]

The first story: Imagine being told to stay in your lane by someone on the wrong side of the damn road. Second Story: I have never _ever_ forgotten my wallet, I make a point to ensure it's either in my bag or in my pocket because I don't want to be stranded somewhere needing cash or to use a card instead of Google Pay.

[@fdm2155]

Well, I have forgotten my wallet (electronic payment wasn't a thing back then). I left it home and went to work. I realized I didn't have any money to buy lunch. So I called a friend who worked nearby and asked him if he wanted to go to lunch. He said yes. I asked where he wanted to go and told him he should choose because I didn't have any money and I needed to borrow enough for lunch! 😆😆 He just laughed and we went to a local Chinese buffet. I didn't suggest we go for a $40 lunch *then* say I forgot my wallet. People really are too much.

[@skaarphy5797]

Forgetting the wallet is one thing. Keep forgetting it at the most opportune moments is something else entirely. It's hard to see how OP is not being taken for a ride here.

[@dx1450]

No way is it a coincidence that all three of them just happened to forget their wallets. And the thing is that, from the way the story was written, it sounded like they were already at the restaurant when the OP joined them, and they apparently already knew they had no means to pay with them when they were ordering a bunch of food.

[@fdm2155]

@@dx1450 Yeah, that was *clearly* a setup intended to scam an expensive free meal. OP should reconsider her relationship wth that guy. Sounds like he's not working. Probably doesn't intend to work. 😅😅 Because hey, she's a doctor!

[@pandapuff4634]

Your point on how 'brutally honest' people dishing it but can't take it GAVE ME LIFE!!

[@JKSSubstandard]

"we're going to have a problem" - no, you're going to have a problem. Because depending on the state, she absolutely broke the law, potentially a felony. People take wiretapping and illegal recording laws seriously these days

[@black1917]

Even in single party consent states his is illegal. You can only set up and a recording device in a space that you own or can be logically inferred that you own, such as a minor installing a camera in their bedroom. You CAN NOT do so in some one else's property without their consent unless you are physically holding the device in some way and it leaves with you.

[@dx1450]

@@black1917 It varies from state to state, but I think in NO state is it legal to do what the OP's wife was doing.

[@black1917]

@@dx1450 It’s not. For the same reason that law enforcement needs a warrant to do it.

[@russgrunert4730]

Stand your ground, it's your life, and you've no responsibility to care for her babies

[@bobbyhinner3225]

Story 1: OP needs to file for divorce right now, tell the ex, maybe even get the police involved. If he doesn't and the ex finds out, he's assisting a crime by knowing and not doing anything. Story 2: OP also needs to get the heck out of there. Just because she's a doctor or whatever doesn't mean she has to pay for everyone's dinner. If her fiance doesn't work because he's going to stay home while she works, that's fine, but only AFTER you're married, it doesn't work like that foe dating or engaged. Story 3: I just cannot believe this. The sister needs to keep her legs closed and learn responsibility for her actions. She's 26 now, plenty old enough to get a job and raise a kid. It isn't OP's job to raise someone else's kid. Story 4: OP just should have responded "sorry, thats my brutally honest opinion" and that should shut them up.

[@FriedrichHerschel]

IANAL, but he is likely not assisting a crime because he does not have to accuse his wife of a crime. That said: I'd still tell that guy. Where I live, breach of privacy laws can cost you up to 500,000 € - and you can bet that hidden cameras inside someone elses home will not be at the lower end.

[@Mewse1203]

"Brutally honest" is code for "I'm an asshole with no social skills nor amyntact" "That's just how he is" is code for "it's easier to let him be an asshole to deal with it like an adult" It's also those who are "brutally honest" who can't take the same treatment in kind.

[@dx1450]

That's what I was thinking, "brutally honest" is just another way of saying, "an asshole." I can't understand why anyone wants to date anyone like that.

[@akl2k7]

@@dx1450 And then say that everyone else has to accommodate their "brutal honesty"? Like, there are so many better fish in the sea.

[@squee7997]

Exactly. The only people that counter this are ones who add 'if I say something that upsets you, please make it clear so I can learn"

[@niyathompson6539]

also "brutal honesty" is like "tough love" sometimes it's necessary but you can be honest while being empathetic too

[@Fenronin]

to be fair he could just be socially clueless

[@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00]

The only apology I'd give for that last story is "I'm sorry I gave a brutally honest douchebag a taste of their own medicine."

[@DevilMayCry3162000]

The story with the pregnant sister just blew my mind. So the older sister does this incredibly selfless act by going against her personal choice to be child free to adopt her niece when she was a baby and raised her. This wasn’t a favor for a sibling this was a huge sacrifice on OP’s part. Her family had to have known about the missed job opportunities at least. And the younger sister/actual mother gets pregnant a second time near 10 years later and without even thinking about talking about it with her family ya know to discuss options on what she can do decides to keep it to herself and waits until Christmas Day to tell everyone basically putting OP on the spot like that. Then OP’s parents who at this point should know what OP HAS SACRIFICED ALREADY!!! Team up with the sister to get her to take in her unborn nephew......OP take your niece and leave them! Cut all contact and just go live your life far away from them.

[@dx1450]

The sad part is that she gave up on her relationship in order to raise her niece. And then the selfish sister drops another bomb on her and expects her to be her permanent babysitter? Fuck that bitch. No, on second thought don't, that's what got her in the situation in the first place.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@dx1450 A better thing to say would be To Hell With Her. At least that wouldn't be doing her any favors :) Women like that are the reason I'm grateful I don't have sisters. I'm an only child.

[@CatacombD]

And on top of it all, the sister is so irresponsible, that she doesn't even know who the father might be. She's already forced OP to be a single mom without child support once, and now she wants to do it a second time. Man, what a piece of shit.

[@DevilMayCry3162000]

Yeah I mean seriously when does it end? Imagine if you will OP meets a guy who is really a great guy who not only wants kids but will help raise the niece as his own. As soon as word gets back to the rest of the family I’d bet every dollar I got the sister and parents show up with not only the baby she refused to take but a set of recently born twins! Sis would be like “oh now that you got a man to help you raise my oldest daughter you can now take my son and the twins and be a happy family! Kay bye😘!” I’m just saying at 26 years old if the sister wants to sleep around like that then that’s her choice but at that age she should already know about birth control or even getting the tubes tied so no more kids, but apparently she missed sex Ed that day.

[@gravyz2cute4u]

@Wolf-dog Cat-dog Yes! Omg let the stupid sister take financial responsibility at least! I feel so sorry for OP, sacrificing her career, relationships and life for an ungrateful "family" member. It's unbelievable that her parents are not supporting her. Maybe she should just throw the baby at the parents because being a single mother with no support is hard! I wonder how often the sister actually comes to visit or support her child anyway. At this point, just cut them out completely, slowly distance yourself at least. I hope there are some other extended family members that support her. The sister needs to learn the reality of her irresponsible decisions. I mean, OP still technically could just leave - it is awful, but it's still an option.

[@MatthewSmith-pv6gd]

How can anyone invite someone out and expect them to pay for everyone, and only saying anything about it AFTER an expensive night out? At absolute minimum, that's tacky as hell.

[@emmawatkins2844]

“Trust me, if I wanted an assholes opinion I would have farted.” Wow, a beautiful line.

[@frost.bytten2023]

That last story 🤣🤣 Op PLEASE don’t be lying about what you said.

[@VicGeorge2K6]

OP's sister really needs to get her tubes tied. That's very irresponsible of her to bring forth another child and then dump it on OP, thinking she can live fancy free while OP gets stuck with being the perpetual substitute mother.

[@dieCG]

I would agree: however, women can’t just “get their tubes tied”. At least in the States, women are seen as breeding cows, and it’s impossible to get that procedure without a bunch of MEN agreeing to it. Mostly strangers, at that.

[@VicGeorge2K6]

@@dieCG Well, those men who permit that stuff are enablers of those women like OP's sister.

[@sannevanschie7993]

Even getting your tubes tied can fail! the only thing that fully works is getting a hysterectomy, which is impossible to get unless you have a medical condition.

[@lahlybird895]

If only it was that easy

[@TJDious]

As Chris Rock said "STOP F****IN! PUT THE D**K DOWN!"

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

R/slash's impression of that last guy was SPOT ON. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tuckershuff1441]

The third story has me absolutely FUMING!!! Just the absolute evasion of responsibility and disregard for her sister's livelihood and wellbeing.

[@billy9144]

"Brutally honest" people aren't honest, they are just unnecessarily mean and use that as an excuse to talk down to others and not take any backlash. Funny how he gets completely shut down and then acts like a baby that can dish out insults but can't take them back. Dude is toxic AF.

[@augustaseptemberova5664]

So I've googled it. In the US, installing surveillance on someone else's property without their consent counts as trespassing. Surveilling someone without their knowledge on their property goes against several laws, the "Expectation of privacy laws" and the "one party conscent laws". Punishments vary by state .. at worst it's 2000$ fine and 2 years of prison.

[@fitmotheyap]

That punishment is waaaay too little

[@bridgetbenson6291]

In some single party consent states they have eavesdropping laws. So you can't record unless you are part of the conversation. A good prosecutor will be able to add some other things. And op in that story need to run far away.

[@AnnaK101]

Expected to pay: THEY invite you out and YOU have to pay? and conveniently "forgot" their wallets. Who forgets their wallet??? This was done deliberately. OP needs to ditch this sponge of a human.

[@thunderflare59]

"She doesn't know who the father is." Well, she needs to fix that problem first.

[@goldengoalie28]

"if I wanted an asshole's opinion,I would have farted..." Que me pissing myself from laughing so hard 😂

[@cassandrahoward4532]

For the second story, didn't the finance and the parents drive to the restaurant ? If so then why the hell are they driving without a license, which is usually in THEIR WALLET. I think they lied about not having their wallets and just wanted op to pay since she's on a doctor's salary.

[@BusArch42]

Yup

[@meowlorda]

oh yeah the finance drove the money can now drive cars guys

[@carolynjohnson6213]

The retort of OP in the last story was brilliant. And that's what she should inform her parents and sister of: she was only being brutally honest right back at him. If I were her, I'd also inform my sister that henceforth every time he says something "brutally honest" I'd be "brutally honest" right back at him and she should inform her man child of said new conditions.

[@PumaPants248]

“I forgot my wallet!” She’s marrying into a family of con-men

[@Silverx721]

Second story; if for some reason OP decides to stay with that crazy family, she should demand he sign a prenup when they get married... We know they won't want to, but it'll be fore her and her money's safety. Prenup or walk imo (if she doesn't leave him already)

[@TheWolfHound7777]

1:50 So the person who installed cameras in someone else's house to spy on her ex husband and his new girlfriend is telling someone they should mind their own business. Oh the irony.

[@computernerd1101]

7:45 They weren't gracious enough to invite you. They invited you with an obvious ulterior motive. If they hadn't invited you, then they would have had no hope of paying for their own extravagant meals.

[@bellerain381]

That first story is super suspicious! Claire sounds like she wants to be the only happy parent and possibly trying to estrange her daughter from her father!

[@kodacha72]

Sounds like Claire can’t get over the fact that her ex has finally moved on

[@songohan3321]

Well the bots have come.

[@bellerain381]

@@kodacha72 I agree!

[@dx1450]

No, she sounds like a complete psycho woman with total control issues.

[@nightigal]

@@dx1450 I wonder why she's divorced

[@aschmidtbrille]

A point about the story of the sister: when the niece was born, OP was 26. And OP was willing to adopt a baby although OP didn't want children, which is really a huge thing. Now the sister is 26 and is not able to take care of a child. To expect OP to adopt the other child as well is irresponsible. It would have been much more mature that the sister educates herself, gets a good job and maybe even takes her daughter back, so OP isn't responsible for her anymore.

[@ravent2631]

I love the op's response in the last one. I also entirely agree that saying someone is "brutally honest" is basically code for "I'm an asshole".

[@stefanpariyski3709]

Wow, all the stories were insane, but the third one takes the cake by some margin. The biological mother ruined the life of her sister and any chance of happiness the sister had, instead of having her own life ruined and now has the audacity to spring another child on her? Wow...

[@Derael]

About the last story, OP should say "I'm sorry for telling you the truth in front of everyone" as an apology. And there is a difference between "brutally honest" and "insensitive". What OP did was actually brutally honest, she pointed out someone's else fault without sugarcoating it. What he did was incredibly insensitive, because it's not OP fault that she can't get pregnant, and even if she could be pregnant, it's up to her whether to have a baby, and none of his business. "Brutal honesty" is e.g. constructive criticism of the food "it was nice, but I personally prefer it less salty". If the cook is interested in improving his cuisine, they might or might not take your opinion into account. But talking about things people can't control is just being rude for no reason.

[@christopherwilliams1042]

Story 2: they definitely set you up....who tf goes to an expensive restaurant KNOWING they didn't have their money. Being invited to dinner mainly for YOU to pay is wild AF. Run from that bum and his bummy ass family.

[@theavatarofinsanity]

She doesn't even know who the father is? I'm sorry what? How stupid, selfish and irresponsible can one person be?

[@TheGamersfolly]

The type who didn't have a dad.

[@theavatarofinsanity]

@@TheGamersfolly So ... girls that grow up without a dad are bad at keeping track who they slept with?

[@TheGamersfolly]

@TheAvatarOfInsanity from my personal experience, yes. It's not called "daddy issues" for nothing.

[@TheGamersfolly]

@@theavatarofinsanity but in all fairness, guys without dads can be even worse because they have even less of a role model.

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

@@TheGamersfolly My son does not have a dad, through no fault of mine, and it turns out he's a better and more clued up person than you.

[@TheWererapter92]

"if I wanted an Assholes opinion, I would've farted" That's genius! I gotta remember that one

[@silverflight01]

Story 4: If you're going to dish out something, you'll need to handle it being thrown back at you. If you can't, you're a hypocrite.

[@dracko158]

Seriously! The BF can dish it out, but couldn't take it in. If you can't handle someone throwing something back at you, maybe you shouldn't be a bull--I mean, "brutally honest" type.

[@isachan0o844]

It was so much tamer than what he was dishing. His comments were on a whole other level of assholery

[@PassiveSmoking]

"If I wanted an ***hole's opinion I would have farted" I'm SO stealing that one

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* While I understand OP's wife's concerns, her execution is way off. I also agree about the double standard. *Second OP:* Yeah, time to call off the engagement. *Third OP:* I would say f*ck OP's sister, but that might make things even worse... *Fourth OP:* OP's clapback was _chef's kiss_ . Also, rSlash's fake crying was hilarious, lmao

[@dracko158]

Honestly, that fake crying is so good it actually make me think that that's his actual voice, which I am sure isn't far off. XD

[@mask938]

@you know Stop spamming the comments with this.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

@@mask938 I just keep reporting them.

[@mask938]

@@MaryTheresa1986 I do that too.

[@skaarphy5797]

OP's wife's concerns in the first story could be alleviated by just, you know, talking to her fucking daughter. These are not the actions of someone who is concerned over the stepmother potentially being the one from hell, these are the actions of a control freak. It's also possible that she's simply still in love with her ex-husband. Either way, OP has been dealt a very shitty hand.

[@JMemski]

"Honesty without compassion is just brutality"

[@SenailCooledge]

Just a little side note for the 3rd story "Once is Enough" you CAN still get pregnant while on birth control. It's only between 90-99% effective, and that's if you're taking it correctly. That 1% is still in the realm of possibility. The sister is still very much in the wrong. You can't expect someone else to just take over your life choices, because you don't want to/aren't equipped to.

[@friendlyneighborhoodhater]

Yeah but most people don't get pregnant twice unless they're being careless. She probably wasn't even on bc or wasn't taking it appropriately

[@SenailCooledge]

@@friendlyneighborhoodhater I'm not saying she was or wasn't. just simply pointing out that RSlash wasn't 100% correct in what he was saying regarding birth control.

[@CountessJJ]

Oh its definitely possible to get pregnant accidentally twice. Even if you're responsible. But that's why there are ways to take care of it. And it is irresponsible of her sister not to be on my perminate birth control, tubes tied etc. But she already knows the babies gender so she's known for a while. She seems like a very selfish nassisitic person. I feel terrible for her responsible sister.

[@SenailCooledge]

@@CountessJJ A lot of doctors, in the US at least, won't perform permanent birth control methods (for women) unless you've already had a number of kids before hand. And even then they'll still deny it, because "What if your future husband/partner wants kids?" It's super difficult/expensive to find a doctor willing to do it.

[@CountessJJ]

@@SenailCooledge I don't think its only america, but yeah I know. And that's super shitty. And maybe the sister doesn't want her tubes tied. But she can't then expect her sister to parent her kids. That baby is coming into the world unwanted, and that's horrible.

[@TawnyRoyal]

The first story: that’s not a concern for her daughter, that’s blatantly a control thing against her ex. Run, don’t walk, and if you stay in the marriage, get snipped before she does this same thing to you, OP.

[@Darkloid21]

I remember seeing a comment on Reddit that said “honesty without kindness is just cruelty” and that’s what I think whenever I hear someone is brutally honest. NO, you just want to be an ass not honest and are trying to hind being saying your telling the truth.

[@Tokuijin]

For the aunt situation, I feel like it's an ESH. Why? By taking in her niece, Op set the standard, enabling her sister to pull this stunt again. Had Op not have taken in her niece the first time, this probably wouldn't have happened.

[@mariposa9506]

Lol that's an interesting take. So no good deed goes unpunished?

[@Tokuijin]

@@mariposa9506 No, but Op shouldn't have taken in the first one. The first one should have been placed for adoption but, because she took in the first one, the standard has been set and now her sister hasn't any reasons to take responsibility for her actions.

[@skorpiongod]

Telling the truth is a good thing. Giving your "Honest Opinion" at every available opportunity is just being an asshole. Some people need to learn things like boundaries, minding your own business and when to stay silent.

[@ericjswindle]

Especially when you have shitty opinions to begin with.

[@sabersky1134]

And honestly the asshole comment wasn’t mean at all. Being mean would’ve been saying something along the lines of his mother clearly didn’t follow that same advice when she had him.

[@julieann2454]

Yeah "that's weird u don't have kids ... oh you'd probably produce defective babies anyway, you know, cause you're over 30" like EXCUSE me?!?

[@CountessJJ]

That guy just likes to be cruel and mean and get away with it. It's like the 'it's just a prank' excuse.

[@christopherwilliams1042]

OP from story 1...the fact you know about the crime and don't report it you'll definitely be in prison with her

[@Nekomata_Hybris]

Did anyone else notice at the first story in the title he said "new York eve" ? I had to rewind it a little because I wasn't sure if I was hearing right the first time. Just a little thing that made me laugh ^^

[@HerHollyness]

Story 3: OP’s sister is now the same age that OP was when the sister got pregnant the first time, i.e. OLD ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF HER OWN DAMN KID. If she can’t or won’t, then she should have got an abortion. Expecting the OP to simply shoulder the responsibility for her mistakes all her life is just disgusting.

[@annasstorybox7906]

Well... What about adoption? Those programs usually allow contact with grandparents and the kid would get a loving home likely with parents that are for some reason incapable of having their own children.

[@dshoultz6110]

I think that she deserves a 5/5 on the butthole score. Being an unplanning/unwanted/neglected child is an awful thing to experience. I know this because I was one. I'd hate to see that baby go into the foster care system, which I've been in

[@toritori2299]

"When I was your age, I took care of a child.... YOUR child!" 😂

[@littlemau1360]

@@annasstorybox7906 in the US the foster care system isn't the best. It's not uncommon for kids to be abused and neglected, and age out of the system instead of getting adopted. There's too many kids in it already that don't get the proper treatment.

[@Gothymothmoth]

@@annasstorybox7906 honestly tubes tied/better BC is needed and yeah could adopt it away but the care system isn't good

[@anonymouslyopinionated656]

hate it when parents are enablers that make the good sibling feel like the bad guy

[@spicy_shumai]

Oh my god, that third story, it sounds like nightmare fuel. I admire OP, if that same situation happened to me, I would board a plane to the other side of the world and cut ties with everyone. The fact that they're so entitled that they cannot see how much a child can ruin a person's life is astounding to me, AND IT'S NOT EVEN OP'S CHILD. OP, if you're reading this, do the selfish thing, you only live once, get the hell away, it's not YOUR problem.

[@velvety2006]

exactly op should just leave the niece with her parents if they think it's such a blessing that the sister can't keep her legs closed. and they can either force the sister to grow up or the kids can end up in the system.

[@TheFuri0uswc]

@@velvety2006 op said there too old and health problems they can't physically take care of them

[@maggiecampbell883]

The meal issue is that the in laws literally could have had one of them run home, grab some money and come back! So selfish!

[@SGHmemories]

"Brutally honest" guys only say that to make excuses for being bullies. I've known friends who really do have no filter, and they actually have a sense of humor and can take what they dish.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

EXACTLY

[@SamWeltzin]

That "brutal honesty" one was hilarious. Wish I had that kind of on-point wit.

[@kanadino2558]

First Story: Op needs to divorce this lady yesterday but first he needs to tell the ex husband. This is a Lifetime movie level of creepy. Second Story: I have a strong suspension that Op's fiancé and his parents planned the whole thing cause yea that's super sus for three people not having wallets. Third story: I don't blame Op for not wanting to take in another kid, raising children is not an easy thing to do. Her sister needs to get her tubes tied or something if she's this careless about birth control. Plus that's hella manipulative to do that at Christmas. Fourth story: Waaaaaah poor wittle man baby. Brutally honest equals I'm an asshole so deal with it. Also where the fuck did he find the audacity to ask Op that in general let alone during dinner. I would've snapped back too and the people saying oh you should've just let him be because that's how he is, well if that's how he is I'm going to bring the same energy.

[@dx1450]

Yeah, it doesn't matter if you're "brutally honest" or not, you just don't ask people you just met about fertility problems. I wouldn't have even brought up the fact that they didn't have children. If I was curious, I'd have asked the sister about it later, in private.

[@pasmas3217]

the "if i wanted an asshole's opinion, I would have farted" line was HILARIOUS!!! i havent heard it before and i burst out laughing. It was THE best suited answer possible. Still thinking about it and smilling even minutes later

[@madambutterfly1997]

Brutally honest does not mean he’s incapable of keeping his mouth shut.

[@Quinntus79]

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, then to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." Or to paraphrase another quote, "If you don't have anything nice to say, shut the f*** up."

[@justsomeguywithoutamustach3978]

OP on the first story posted an update: “I’ve decided to tell him….there’s no way this is going to end well for Claire no matter how hard she tries to downplay the situation. Yeah I’m a coward but that is her opinion. I told her that I was not going to get caught in the middle of this whirlpool but she insisted I was the one trying to get involved, still ignoring bow messed up her actions were. She can go ahead and turn every argument into a screaming match where I’m the one to blame but I’m getting sick of it” OP also said in the replies that Claire was harassing Adam’s girlfriend and Claire also always blames things on OP and claims he’s never supportive

[@catthe_hoffman6794]

Anyone else laugh every time he says "New York Eve" instead of "New Year's Eve" 😂😂😂😂😂 also I love listening to these because they make my family look a little less insane😂

[@heckinggi6034]

Instead*

[@mask938]

@good one No we didn’t.

[@maieen2665]

I missed that! I was too distracted by him reading "arguing" as "laughing", lol

[@catthe_hoffman6794]

@@heckinggi6034 Thanks 😂 didn't even notice

[@Annie_Annie__]

I did only because that’s how I always read “NYE”. I think my brain figures if NYC is New York City, then NYE must be New York Eve. So, every time he said it, I was like “yay! I’m not the only one!” Lol

[@joannamyers1268]

Third story: one would think that the sister would be eternally grateful to OP for adopting her child, sacrificing so much in her life to raise her, and letting the sister establish a relationship with her to boot. But no, by manipulating the family, it's clear the sister is completely ungrateful and entitled. It sounds like their parents spoiled her, since they they took her side when she got pregnant again. OP is not a babysitter. It's completely selfish to demand more from her than she's already given.

[@digigalbytes2445]

I’ve always found that with people who are “brutally honest,” the emphasis is always on brutal, and the so-called honesty is just their self-important opinions.

[@augustaseptemberova5664]

Exactly. Like, if I _ask_ someone to give me their honest opinion, being brutally honest is fair game. But just going around giving "brutally honest opinions" _nobody_ asked for, and about someone's private issues no less, is just being a pr*ck.

[@craigbolton2231]

There are people who are honest and there are people that use "just being honest" as a mask for being a bitch. I'm honest, brutally so at times, but there's a time and a place and some people can't grasp that.

[@testtickles7648]

#3 I feel bad for the OP and her niece. The sister should have talked to OP privately before she announced her pregnancy to anyone else. You can't just get pregnant and say "I'm pregnant and you're adopting this one, too!" Can't just drop a baby in someone's lap without talking to them first to see if they can or even want to take in another baby and it sounds like OP is a single mother to her niece already. Being a single Mom is hard! VERY hard! And she's sacrificed so much already to be a single Mom to her niece and stay close to her parents for her niece and parents to keep a close relationship. I would have burst into tears, too. But I probably would have burst into tears wanting to take this baby in, but knowing I couldn't. And she took in her niece and her sister obviously already expects her to take in another...when will she stop? How many babies will she have and drop into OP's lap before she starts acting like an adult and takes responsibility of her own life and actions? If she expects OP to take this one in, too...especially with that kind of announcement...she will expect OP to take any babies she has in the future, too.

[@josephwisniewski3673]

First OP needs his own lawyer, now. His wife has just made him an accessory to a felony: a good lawyer will yell him what he needs to do to keep himself out of jail. Second one: "New York Eve"??? Third one: that poor OP has to stop this precedent while she's only a single parent of one kid, or she is going to be the mother of 6 in another 10 years. Grandparents get what they want, sister gets to play auntie for to her own brood without investing time or money, without losing her sanity dealing with kid after kid. Fourth one: only way to make it even better would have been to go "well, to be brutally honest, I'm getting sick of you hiding your rudeness behind the label 'brutal homesty'."

[@Wizborg]

Was looking for someone else who noticed the "New York Eve" bit. lmao. Poor RSlash, can't go a video without a slip up that gets noticed. lol

[@bargainbinredhead]

My English professor once said that brutal honesty isn’t honesty. It’s honesty with intention to hurt which no decent person should think is a good thing.

[@arenburns9032]

First story: OP needs to run. Both of a divorce lawyer and to his wife's ex bc that is super illegal and a major violation of privacy. She screams red flags. Being controlling, possessive, the way she is towards her ex being obsessed w his relationship statues when she's married? I think dad needs full custody

[@kevinmckenzie1312]

The entitlement of the sister in story 3 is astounding. "Whoops I'm pregnant so you need to raise them" not once but twice. That whole family needs to get in the bin for expecting OP to just keep sorting out the messes.

[@asterross]

Fourth story: NTA. Don't dish out what you can't take. If he wants to be brutally honest, then he should get a stronger backbone so he doesn't cry when others give him a taste of his own medicine.

[@eliahr11]

First story Update (verbatim): I've decided to tell him...there is no way this is going to end well for Claire no matter how hard she tries to downplay the situation. Yeah I'm a coward but that is her opinion. I told her that I was not going to get caught in the middle of this whirlpool but she insisted I was the one trying to get involved, still ignoring how messed up her actions were. She can go ahead and turn every argument into a screaming match where I'm the one to blame but I'm getting sick of it.

[@SailorMya]

The real reason they wanted to "pay for her" was so they could clump the check together before they "forgot their wallets". Expressing their remorse for not being able to pay for everyone hits differently then "We didn't bring money to pay for ourselves! Please! Pay for us!". I don't understand how the "mother" from the 3rd story can't take care of her new baby... Her family seems really supportive in raising her other child and would help her all the same. She knows that if OP says no her "free" life is over and she'll have to grow up. Sounds like she is still 17 and never grew mentality after giving birth so she might need therapy to find out why she thinks it is okay to abandon her babies. Too young for first one I understand but the second one is a second chance at being a real mother for them but she just wants to dump them???

[@Volkaer]

Holy crap - I feel sorry for the OP in the first story. He needs to run. Fast. That's grounds for instant divorce, no ifs, ands or buts. Claire sounds like the person who would lie and put him through hell during the divorce, but it's still a better option than staying in that... uhh... "relationship"? OP needs to document everything, get a divorce lawyer on board, and try and figure out how to get out with the least amount of pain to himself out of there.

[@ArinaCoryn]

Last story: I'm Dutch and others usually see us as brutally honest, but we're not. We say what we think if its appropriate, yeah. We don't like the whole frenemy thing and will tell you if your butt looks big. But what this guy did is next level, part of being honest and realizing how to say something so you don't actually offend people. The brutal part always means you're just an asshole with 0 social skills.

[@littlesongbird4566]

There is a massive difference between people who are brutally honest and people who are just assholes. People who can be very brutal when they're honest know when to not share their opinions and they try to soften the blow a little bit. In other words they have class. This guy doesn't have any class. He made Digs at her because he wanted to boost his own ego and that was proven when Op's "mean comment" hurt his feelings so easily. I'm also so pissed at Op's sister who the fuck gives out someone else's personal medical information without their damn consent. If Op wanted the sister boyfriend to know she was infertile she would have told him herself. I've honestly would have slapped my own sister if she did that to me. Honestly Op should cut them out of her life.

[@rooroolaboo]

It's not just a breach of privacy, it's a crime. By knowing about it and not doing anything, OP is also breaking the law.

[@Jozzie1987]

I agree. People who describe themselves as brutally honest is just a way of saying, “I’m a douchebag and enjoy being mean to others,” but packaging it to look like a positive personality trait.

[@ScooterBond1970]

And even more so when they add "and you just need to get used to it!" Which is code for "you're not allowed to criticize me!"

[@StephanieGarcia-bn6nf]

That sister has no right to ask her sister to take car of her baby especially if she already raised her other daughter. I honestly would move away to prevent them from trying to off the child on me. I'm extremely mad at that post!!