r/AmITheA--Hole for Not Giving Up the House I Inherited?

[@rSlash]

I accidentally uploaded 2 vids today. Deleted the other one -- it was meant to go live later this week! Oops

[@superoriginalname2851]

Aww but I was already invested!

[@antoniouzi1]

You left me with blue balls I was in the middle of the trampoline story!

[@ConventionallyStupid]

Bruh I was just writing a comment there…

[@michaelgroff7309]

I was watching that

[@Threebear87]

Oops

[@Ifrit86]

Story 4 - Dabney, you're wrong on that. The sister chased her down and demanded her explain, so not her fault for telling her the truth under interrogation.

[@mindcraftyD13]

Exactly, she gets 0/5 but holes.

[@starlightdash4285]

Ikr, people who tell the truth after being asked a question aren’t in the wrong because they did what the other person asked. By that logic, should you think a police man is a asshole too because he caught you robbing a bank???

[@WyxienTheFox]

Not to mention OP said she tried to dodge the question but her sister kept pushing the subject matter. Her sister is the entitled one.

[@lemonbars1576]

Like he did read that part right is he dumb or ignoring it on purpose

[@dreamcast6456]

Plus it IS a family matter since everyone harrasses OP for the money

[@Reuraku]

4th story: The sister asked OP if something was wrong, OP said nothing was wrong and the sister pressed the issue so it's not OP's fault it got brought up when it did. 5th story: OP didn't out her EX he outed himself she just gave him the means to.

[@janibest7401]

I agree with you on story 4. If lil sis didn’t ask her what era wrong and OP was pushed into answering her then she doesn’t deserve a “0.5 buttholes” foe her response. Sorry Dabney.

[@fdm2155]

I agree with both these comments. The pregnant sister wouldn't let it go so she got what she got! And I think the mom is lying about the miscarriage risk in an effort to extort OP. Disgusting. The deadbeat dad got exactly what he deserved! He could have come up with some other cover story that didn't involve throwing the ex wife under the bus. Also how stupid of him to not realize grandma was gonna contact the ex wife about the kids! What a jackass.

[@kespeth2]

They were trying to blackmail her. Not only should she cut them out, she should gather evidence and press charges. Get the kids to a safer home too, while she's at it. I think the money the trashy sister was getting wasn't going to the kids at all, but to drugs. She...I mean IT fits the type of scumbag that would do that, and someday it and its belly rubber family will face the Karma.

[@Catnipatrick]

Exactly! I was looking for this! It’s normal build up frustration being young and the designated workhorse! She didn’t do anything wrong at all after being badgered over and over after not soliciting enjoyment over being an any once more. The sister should left her alone instead of pushing the issue. Let the proud grandparents support them then.

[@starlightdash4285]

I really hate this whole “It’s your fault that I got called out” thing because that’s like asking me if you’re a bully & then I say yes because you are a bully.

[@threegsgaming6959]

First story: honestly, no matter how much the brother offered, I never would’ve given him the house. First off, the grandpa didn’t want him to have it. Secondly, the brother didn’t care about the grandpa and left him at his worst. Third, I absolutely love my grandpa, and if anyone tried taking something he left me after he died, I’d go to war for it, no matter what it was.

[@AstolfoGayming]

I feel kinda the same way, but if he could make an offer at 10x market value, he could have the plot of land it was stationed on.. Not the house itself, no, I'd pay to have it rebuilt somewhere nicer, just the plot of land

[@GamerSisters]

I went through something very similar, although it was my grandpa's car (my grandmother is still alive so she lives there) and its my uncle and one of my aunts (my mom has 2 sisters) that are completely no contact up until my grandpa was near-death, caused a lot of drama and then expected to have the car. They did EXTREMELY shady things to have the car.

[@bestlaptop_psn]

Everyone has a number

[@RiveroftheWither]

Not to mention it highlights how they are the worst type of religious people, the cherry pickers. The ones who pick and choose what part of the Bible to follow based on what's convenient for them or can be used to push their views. In this case they hold fast to all the sexist beliefs of women being below men and needing to obey them but what about honoring your parents and elders? What about Jesus' call to show charity to the meek and infirm. They seem to have conveniently forgotten about that when the grandpa, her dad's father got sick.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

If the brother had that much money he'd just buy a random house

[@krbthewitch]

3rd story: Sometimes a parent can love a child but not like them, or how they act. To have to say it can be hard, but given that kid's attitude he had to hear it. He had to hear that acting like his shitty father was making him a shitty person who even his mother could love sure, but couldn't like.

[@mommabear1986]

Whoa, that story had a heavy twist. Both kids are victims of the father. The father's homophobia had a ripple effect through 3 people, maybe more.

[@PokeyPower]

Agree. You don't always like your kids. Would have been different if she said I hate you.

[@DarcOne13]

@@PokeyPower Exactly, she very clearly indicated that it was the behavior, not the child, that she was upset with.

[@StewPedassle]

@@mommabear1986 Yeah. That twist made me think that the mother's reaction may have been unfortunately what was needed. His father's likely unchecked homophobia was probably the only thing the boy experienced from his family, and may have worried that his mother was the same without being vocal about it. I think that he knew what he was doing was wrong, but wanted to protect himself from potential backlash from family. His reaction and admission make me think that he never questioned that she loved him, but instead was able to securely open up to her because he saw her defend someone for the thing within himself he was trying to hide.

[@KellyDVance]

I have told my 5y/o, on more than one occasion, "I love you and nothing in the world will change that. But right now, the way you're behaving, I don't like you very much." This is something kids need to hear when their behavior is unacceptable.

[@Lotuswalker]

Fourth story: But OP didnt turn the evemt into a fight. The sister did. She persisted over and over again to tell her what was wrong. She told her, so deal with it. I would say 0/5 Buttholes

[@eblckmn]

That’s what I came to say. OP didn’t start a fight. Her sister did. She kept pushing OP. Sister turned this into a huge fight.

[@kespeth2]

0/5 for OP, 5/5 for everyone else. In fact, they were all blackmailing her, so they all belong in prison. The kids should go to a safer home too, while we're at it.

[@fantum12000]

Yeah rslash dropped the ball here

[@TheDragolf]

Perfectly said. OP set the boundary and the sister kept pushing. She ruined her own happy news.

[@RobertFrost10]

I'm glad others have thought the same thing. It's not as if OP went looking to tell her.

[@laciereinheart9490]

To the young lady who's having to pay for her sister's kid: Don't apologize. You are not the A**hole. I wasn't used as an atm, but I was used as the free babysitter. I had to babysitter 5 kids that didn't belong to me for 6 years, and I couldn't go out with friends, have fun, have me time, or get a job. I only got out because I applied to college at the advice of my therapist. Never again. They'll use you for as long as they can get away with and as soon as you have a backbone, they'll fault you. You're innocent, and that's YOUR money, that YOU worked for. Don't apologize, because they don't deserve you or your help. Go live your life, and ignore your family's radio silence. They're toxic, and they won't change. Go out and find your own family, like I did. :^) Your brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and cousins. Possibly even partner! Live for you, and not for them. Family is what you make of it; not just blood. Have a blessed day!

[@hunnykun101]

Preach!!

[@Leslie58]

Huge AMEN!

[@pungetello]

Exactly! People need to realize their kids are *their* responsibility.

[@MrJerichoPumpkin]

yeah, and after they will contact you (because when money will start running low, they will) just answer "nope, God will provide"

[@Magnarmis]

@@MrJerichoPumpkin "My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family"

[@moggiye]

For the third story, I think mom handled that well with what info she had at the time. I’m glad she’s not trying to force her teen son to keep a relationship with her homophobic ex

[@DoctorOaks]

I will say as the story was going on the idea that OP's son was actually interested in/projecting on the other kid popped into my head almost immediately.

[@Lexi-vv3yl]

I feel like "i dont like you very much right now" is much better than many other options of what she could say given the context. Its on the level of "im very dissapointed in you and your behavior right now" especially given what she knew in the moment.

[@RiveroftheWither]

I do have to give her some kudos, even though she did say something harsh that obviously hurt him, she still had such a solid foundation of a relationship that he felt comfortable and safe enough to come out and talk about his feelings. He kind of needed to hear that not even his mom, who is probably the most accepting person he knows, will accept that kind of cruel behavior. He needed that wake up call.

[@aaryadeshmukh8262]

@@Lexi-vv3yl at some places saying ya dont like yo offapring is a taboo

[@Lexi-vv3yl]

@@aaryadeshmukh8262 some places its also taboo to hold hands and be gay. No one is gonna like their kid 100% 24/7. Same goes with just anyone in your family or even friends. The statement doesnt imply permanence of that feeling just a momentary one.

[@jimmyrittmann8208]

Related to the mom of the 16 year old bully- personally, I think it's ok to tell your child you don't like them right now when they act like bullies, as long as you are clear that you will always love them. I don't always like my daughter, because she's 7, and can be a brat sometimes, like any other 7 year old. I will always love her, and nothing will ever change that.

[@Donnerwamp]

A big thing my mom taught me is that liking someone and loving someone are completely different things. Just because I like you I don't have to love you, and just because I love you I don't have to like you. Most of the time both feelings overlap, but then those are still two distinct feelings that don't need to be felt at the same time. Funnily, she hammered that point into me when I was 7 and a total brat in public.

[@aceistheplacewithunhelpfulaces]

The “ I don’t like my son story “ made me kind of happy because it is nice to see accepting parents, or at least in this case one parent

[@xxTC-96xx]

there needs to be a law against people who keep pumping out babies with reckless abandon but clearly can't afford it, those poor kids

[@rangergxi]

Hm... I think that was called eugenics.

[@IdealIdeas100]

After a certain amount of babies, you drive your poverty line up high enough that the government steps in and helps pay

[@abccba4889]

@@rangergxi eugenics is about reproducing in a way that produces offspring with “desirable” traits. While yes limiting the number of kids lower class families can have could be used as a form of eugenics, the reasoning is not. Eugenics would be “this family is poor meaning their genetics are bad so they shouldn’t have kids”. What op said is talking about how people shouldn’t have more kids than they can support as this could lead to negative effects on the existing children. Children don’t have a choice in who their parents are so it’s up to the parents to make good decisions that won’t negatively impact the child. Of course however laws like that would be hard to enforce and could quickly turn to a form of eugenics in modern day countries.

[@1fingerblaster69]

@@rangergxi lol wut. Not having kids because you can't afford them is not eugenics 😂😂😂😂😂

[@velvetdarksoul8741]

@@abccba4889 look what happened when China did that Also their getting rid of abortions so be prepared for many babies no one can afford

[@jovindsouza3407]

Oof, the third story really hits home. Internalized homophobia is absolutely horrible to deal with, I personally struggled with my identity for years thanks to the effects of a Catholic school and family. I'm really happy that OP and her son are working this out properly.

[@DarcOne13]

Totally, and I wasn't one bit surprised to learn he'd asked the other kid out. His behavior just felt jealous, if that makes sense. I'm so glad Mom was there to help him through that.

[@DarcOne13]

@@francescaperron2003 Ew, that's almost as bad as people who think they can "fix" asexuals.

[@francescaperron2003]

@@DarcOne13 Yeah I know, it's disgusting

[@KazzleTheDazzle]

Me too! I’ve dealt with internalized homophobia myself, it was something that I didn’t express outwardly, but kept very bottled up. It’s difficult to get over, and I’m glad that the kid has someone to help him through it.

[@Ikajo]

@@DarcOne13 Yeah, my thought was that he himself were gay, struggled with it, and lashed out. I wasn't far off.

[@justlikethewizard]

The last one, the wife didn't ruin his life. He did that. Also wow, him throwing her under the bus after abandoning his kids? Yeah I'd disown him too.

[@woppagangnamstyle]

I want bring attention to the wife's friend,too.That friend just straight up says "Don't tell their grandma that it wasn't your fault she couldn't see her grandkids." dafuq kind of logic is that?Either that friend didn't know the details or is a complete moron.

[@ThatGuySarabia]

The fact this this guy had the nerve to tell his ex wife that his mother loves him more than his children that HE abandoned is utterly disgusting. I have no other word other than that. He ain't a man, he's a coward little boy.

[@AzraelThanatos]

@@ThatGuySarabia I think he was trying to disappear his old family, that kind of stunt is normally a sign that he knocked up a mistress and wants to make a completely new family with her while finding a way to separate his old family from his relatives.

[@ThatGuySarabia]

@@AzraelThanatos that could make sense given his attitude towards his children.

[@ThatGuySarabia]

@@AzraelThanatos I'm honestly glad that his mom disowned him and I hope the rest of his family look down on him til the day he dies. Big respect to the grandma. In the update OP stated that the grandma will be involved in the children's life

[@MetaDragoon]

OP did NOT turn things into about them. Sister refused to drop the issue and got yelled at. Entitled brat got what THEY asked for by not leaving things be. It is not OP's fault if they explode when they tried to extricate themselves and others wouldn't ALLOW it.

[@phobosaresiana6215]

Exactly. The sister should have dropped it when told everything was fine. It sounds like she was waiting for OP to gush and maybe go "oh I wish I was you with a baby blablabla", but at the end of the day the SISTER made the holyday meal about her, and then made a mess by getting into an argument. OP is not at fault here.

[@PyroWolfofEarth]

Thank you! I wanted to say this exactly! If you keep pushing and poking someone when they don't wanna talk you can't blame them if they explode on you.

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

"I was raised in a Christian household. With that came gender roles that were ingrained in me at a young age." Were my Christian parents the only ones who were like, "Do what you want as long as you're not hurting anybody?"

[@Alverant]

Probably. Or at least in the minority.

[@majoratwili7312]

I was raised in a Christian household where this was the philosophy too. Very supportive family tbh

[@deithlan]

I have a friend who was raised like that as well. I have many many other friends, however, who haven’t :/

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

​@@Alverant Should also point out my mom was a stay-at-home mom, but always emphasized that it wasn't due to gender roles, but that it had been strictly her choice to stay at home with her kids (she says she missed being away from us), that as a female I'm not obligated to be a homemaker or even a wife and could choose whatever career I wanted.

[@adamb89]

Meh all Christians just make it up anyway. The concept of a "Real Christian" doesn't exist. Either they all do what their pastor/priest tells them to, or they make up their own interpretations of the bible. Either way, they're just cherry picking whatever crap they want to justify their own choices (and prejudices/bigotry, where applicable).

[@confettiveda2460]

Pregnancy Story- I wouldn't even give OP the 0.5/5 on the basis that OP didn't want to talk about it, but the sister pushed. If you make an announcement, someone doesn't seem happy about it, and you push them for an explanation in public or really anywhere else, don't blame the person who _tried_ to keep it to themselves when you hear something you don't want to.

[@kelsmister]

Esp since op seems to be used as an atm. They were pushed to their limit I don’t blame them. Another mouth more drainage out the funds.

[@moonprincess500]

They should just cut the entire “family”, disappear to another part of the country, and change their name!

[@silverflight01]

Story 5: OP finally showed her ex's true colors to his mother. He ruined his own life by ruining his kids' lives and not wanting to do absolutely anything with the kids.

[@HboskO1982]

and her friend is on ExHusbands side..?. "ruin his life" , he did this himself.

[@heidtb6746]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

[@thetruth1816]

@@HboskO1982 if that was "my friend " I would slap the taste out their mouth before cutting contact with them forever..

[@starlightdash4285]

@@HboskO1982 Exactly, I hate when people support the bad guy for no good reason.

[@LLandS18]

Professionally, I work with people, in or leaving domestic abuse situations. In a lot of times, I'll work with the abuser as well. Do you know how many of them go on about how their evil wife took away their baby and the court system favours women so much. When in reality they sign away custody of their own free will or all the documentation of them abusing their children are why they don't have custody. I'm going to say rough guess anywhere from 90 to 95% of men say that our clients I work with. I'm not saying that's not all the cases on or in a non domestic abuse situation. But when you hear something so much and you see it happened so much in your professional life you wonder how many of these men whining about not having their kids because the wife took full custody how many of them didn't fight for their kids how many of them couldn't show the court that they were fit parents. How many of them just sign away custody, and because they don't want to look like a bad guy, they blame the ex. Also I hear the exact same thing from other people I work with and other professionals I speak with all across the country and into the United States. Just makes me wonder.

[@dracko158]

OP's family: "LOL granddad is gonna leave US with the house!" Granddad: **Gives house to OP instead** OP's family: **Surprised Pikachu Face**

[@Ambidexter143]

"Hi Sis. I just wanted you to know that Granddad made a mistake and I'm supposed to have the house. You have until next Tuesday to move out. Have a nice day."

[@MrJerichoPumpkin]

it's like Gran Torino ending, when Clint leaves nothing to his good-for-nothing sons and grandkids over the priest and a viet kid he barely knows

[@SaikiKFann]

“We’ll I don’t like you right now either.” Sometimes people need to hear how crappy they are being at the moment. it will open their eyes.

[@starilvara]

Yeah, it sounds like it was what he needed to hear, and like he was able to understand that what she really meant was 'I don't like the person you've suddenly become, the behaviour I'm seeing' not 'I don't like YOU, permanently' (which at 16 I wouldn't really blame him for struggling to really see that difference). It seems like he heard it, got a nasty shock, and realised he needed to change who he was being. Well done to him, honestly!

[@SaikiKFann]

@@starilvara i agree! And thank you for explain it better then I did.

[@prynkya]

Lmao. Thats nothing. She didn't say she didn't like him she just didn't like him in that moment. He was being an asshole.

[@AtotehZ]

I hope Denise, grandmother, continued to see the kids as much as she wanted.

[@adamdubin1276]

And I really do hope she writes her idiot son out of the will, I mean really talk about shitty parenting.

[@RisingRevengeance]

Sounds like they get along well enough so she's probably still in their life. At least it doesn't sound like OP dislikes that idea.

[@condorboss3339]

I think grandma will be a good influence on the children.

[@DoomsdayR3sistance]

it's not stated, but if OP is basically supporting the children alone, I can imagine having somebody who is willing to look after the children every now and then is a godsend. My personal experience of having a father that left to never contact again, I have only ever seen my grandparents from that side of the family once and they also made no effort to see me, which wouldn't have been hard since following the divorce, my mother and my aunt (her ex-SIL) have remained friends still on this day, around 36 years later; when growing up, my mother would take me to see my aunty and cousins. I believe my mother was busy one day and she asked my aunt to take care of me. My aunt was planning to take her kids to her parents that day, which is why I got to meet them. Thankfully they seemed like pleasant people, they just never made any effort to see me on their own, as far as I can tell.

[@RisingRevengeance]

@@DoomsdayR3sistance It's nice that you can at least be civil with that part of your family even if they don't want a proper relationship for some reason. I went NC with my dad and his whole family cut me off. I thought I had a good relationship with my grandma but she was quick to make it clear she's never speaking to me again.

[@gilded_lady]

First story: What a bunch of hypocrites. Grandpa did right by giving her the house. I'd give/sell brother nothing. Not her fault he assumed that it'd fall into his lap. Last story: I hope OP lets the ex MIL see the kids. MIL clearly isn't toxic and the kids shouldn't be punished for dad's douchery

[@spydersoup8447]

I imagined the ex-MIL hasn't been able to see her grandkids because of the dad trying to separate his family from his old wife and her kids.

[@stefaniliu8912]

yep there's an update that said she planned to let denise see her kids

[@maieen2665]

-An rSlash Double Feature!? Heck yeah!- Nevermind, lol *First OP:* OP's grandfather left the house to _OP_ . She should not feel guilty for that, nor should she feel obligated to give the house to her brother's family. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* OP has every right to sell her late husband's home to someone other than her in-laws. Why should she pay two mortgages for someone who _might_ buy the house? OP is NTA. *Third OP:* _Reads title_ Here go hell come... I was _not_ expecting that plot twist! So OP's son was lashing out because the kid rejected him. it doesn't excuse his actions, but it definitely explains it. I'm glad OP taught her son not to be a Nice Guy™and to accept that not everyone will like him. As for the original question, yeah, OP saying she doesn't like her son at that moment is harsh, but it got through to him. OP is slightly TA, but it's understandable. OP's ex is a major AH. *Fourth OP:* Just from the title, I thought OP might be TA because it's her sister's choice to have other kids. The only way OP wouldn't be the butthole is if the sister has poor parenting skills, or if OP is paying for the kids' needs. Since it's the latter, OP is NTA. Since her family isn't speaking to her unless she apologizes, she might as well go NC with them. OP's mom gets 5/5 BHs for putting OP's sister's hypothetical miscarriage on OP. Also, rSlash, OP didn't want to say anything after the announcement; her sister prodded OP to share her thoughts. *Fifth OP:* OP's ex has the right not to remain in the kids, and OP has the right to defend herself when her ex lied on her. OP is NTA. The irony of OP's ex being disowned by his parents is not missed by me, LOL.

[@myopinion69420]

the other one is gone, its showing up in the recommended on this video but has been removed, I'm guessing it was meant to be a future video. (rSlash tends to record a fair bit ahead)

[@buzzoffthischannelisdeleted]

Yea I was in the middle of the video and it was removed

[@arbogli]

First story: We don't want your sinful person around us.... But we want your sinful house and money, thanks Riiiight.....

[@songohan3321]

And they ended up hurting themselves in their confusion.

[@ninjabluefyre3815]

Interesting, this is almost the plot of Knives Out but without *SPOILERS REDACTED*.

[@shame2845]

“Oh my god, u literally ruined his life over abandoning the kids and lying about it”, OR here’s a suggestion, MAYBE if he wasn’t such a shitty person to begin with then NONE of this would’ve happened. Crazy revelation, I know.

[@russlehman2070]

Yeah. He ruined his own life, by abandoning his kids, and then lying to his mother to make his ex look like the bad guy. I have no sympathy for him whatsoever.

[@achalanshridhar6473]

Interesting. Entitled people are some of the most intriguing people on this planet. The childhood required to reach such an attitude is mind-blowing. How does one gain such an ideology aspect such as "everyone should serve me". I always hate having to bother someone, I don't want to be a hassle to anyone else. I don't know how someone can be weight on someone else's shoulder and not be bothered by it.

[@mleskoyeah1464]

I like your mentality I have the same thoughts myself. What kind of life these people must’ve had to lead them to believe that they can get whatever they want without consequences. I honestly think it’s a genetic predisposition kind of like how people are genetically predisposed to be extroverted versus introverted

[@Sterncold]

First story : NTA. Maybe they should have tried to take care of him instead of getting rid of him ? they reap what they sow that's all. Second story : NTA. If they wanted the home they should have bought it immediately. Third story : NTA. Originally i would have said YTA but when i read about the father no wonder it was the only way to calm him down and make him apologize. Fourth story : NTA. If you can't afford to have a baby don't make one it's as simple as that and she has 5 of them now. Also is OP even forced to pay for the child she isn't the one who made them or even agreed about it. Fifth story : NTA. OP didn't ruined his life, he did it himself. Maybe next time don't lie because it's going to bite you in the ass one day.

[@DarcOne13]

As far as the third story goes, the most important part is how she phrased it. "Right now, I don't like you very much" is a system shock, but it doesn't mean she's abandoning him. The love is still there, but his behavior is frustrating.

[@nils920]

Story 4: Wow. Just... WOW! Hasn't it ever crossed the sister's mind that having kids takes A LOT of money to provide for them? Of course not, because my older sister will take care of that bEcAuSe We'Re FaMiLy. Give me a break! NTA.

[@reflex9238]

What makes me feel bad for the kids, is the fact that it looks like she doesn’t even like being a mother as OP said she wasn’t drinking. This is raising massive red flags for me, as chances are she probably isn’t even raising them herself if she drinks pretty often.

[@Xolivas1]

I mean I was genuinely getting pissed off for OP just listening to that. I mean, why have kids when you are basically living paycheck to paycheck? And she's not even working either!! I mean sure, giving birth to a child is a beautiful event, but once that's over...it's time take care of the child. She's digging herself a hole for herself and her children...which is sad because they didn't ask to be in this situation. Remember people..." All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children."

[@spydersoup8447]

What's worse is this all started when she got right out of high school and OP said that she was brilliant and could've gotten a free ride at a great university. But she instead choose to have more and more kids over university. I do wonder if her boyfriend and the rest of her family are the ones who insisted on her not going to a university and instead have as many kids as possible.

[@thebaldcat6708]

“My grandpa wouldn’t want my brother or my father to have it.” The story ends there.

[@starlightdash4285]

Story 4: I’m sorry, but OP doesn’t deserve any butthole score because he or she (I honestly can’t remember) is a victim of their family’s favouritism & toxic abuse. Story 5: Ah yes, the classic case of “If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen” situation because this man child couldn’t handle the fact that OP ruined his life; which he was alright with doing to her.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Just because that sixteen-year-old was in between a rock and a hard place does not give him the excuse to respond the way he did. No means no.

[@sabersz]

Exactly, I'm not one to care about hurt feelings, especially if it's some menial stuff, but that kid is just a dick. Like, why? I absolutely cannot understand his logic of turning to homophobia when he himself is homosexual. Like... What?

[@Magnarmis]

And his mom taught him that.

[@luciellawliet]

It doesn’t, and you’re right. But it sounds like mama is teaching him that and that they’re working through it. I feel bad for the guy, he’s still a kid and it sounds like he’s on the path to changing and has a supportive mom so that’s good. I hope he gets better and I’m sure he will, especially with a good mom like his

[@erikmckoul2478]

Well it's not like he was pushing the other kid into dating him so he understood the no part he was angry, unfortunately some 16 year olds don't have good self control although it's still messed up to bully people like that. But saying you don't like your kid is messed up too, I bet she didn't say the whole story to make herself seem like a better person or something .

[@luciellawliet]

@@erikmckoul2478 she only said that she didn’t like him in that moment, she didn’t say that she didn’t ever like him and they worked it out. Sure it was harsh, but I wouldn’t say it was abusive

[@kalimaxine]

The story with the sister with 4 kids and another on the way, OP did not start the fight. Her sister did. OP tried to tell her it was nothing. Her sister persisted. That is on her sister, not OP.

[@irogt]

Yup. He literally just read the story and forgot that part. Also if I was OP, I'd be grateful for the radio silence. Like what? If I don't apologize you won't ask me for money anymore? YES PLEASE!

[@starlightdash4285]

Exactly, Rlash seems to forget a key part in these stories & instantly goes “OP is kinda a butthole” without realising he or she aren’t.

[@chastitymarks2185]

@@irogt Exactly!!!!

[@sa4ru328]

Im honestly glad they are going nc with OP, thats a fucking blessing! They are absolutely toxic and god, i feel for the sisters kids. It seems like they dont understand that it takes thousands of dollars to raise a kid, imagine 5 of them! They needed a reality check and i hope her pregnancy goes fine

[@velvety2006]

@@irogt nah they won't stay silent long, pretty soon they will tell op she 'forgiven' for the rudeness and now that is out of the way the sister needs x amount of money for both the existing kids and the new baby. If the sister believes god will provide she should as the church for help.

[@BiggerinRealLife]

Literally the second I heard the kid wouldn't apologize even though the kid was in his house, I knew he was gay. For the record, I'm gay too, so that level of insistance that "no one likes that f----- anyway," was internalized homophobia 101. I wish that kid a lot of love, compassion, and therapy, which is sounds like his mom will probably be great at. Well done, mom OP. He'll be better off without his dad around. I think his mom actually ended up doing a major intervention here, and probably changed the course of her kids' life for the better.

[@Invinzible001]

Parents and brother: “Your suffering is payment for your sins. It’s what you deserve” Also parents and brother after abandoning and neglecting the grandfather: “why is the house not left to us? Clearly you manipulated him”

[@erikstephens6370]

You know what, the suffering of the parents and brother is payment for their sins. It's what they deserve.

[@myroc1]

In the 4th story about the sister pregnancy: She mentioned that she tried to play it off, but the pregnant sister kept pushing for what was bothering her. So, I mean, it's kind of on the pregnant sister... I would apologize for the outburst under the condition that my sister and her family apologize for never paying back the "borrowed" money.

[@LLandS18]

The only thing I'd change about that is instead of an apology she can pay me back to

[@Rj-ij6ko]

**Parent abandons/abuses a child** R/Slash: it seems you have chosen…death

[@franl155]

If the golden child wanted the house, he should have been there when grandad needed support. And even then it's unlikely, as only being there for the inheritance would have been pretty obvious. If grandad had wanted him to have the house he'd have left it to his son who would have passed it on. In keeping the house OP is honouring grandad's wishes. [] "God will provide for the new baby" - well, better tart praying cos this ATM is closing down. [] Good on ex-MiL for going off on her son for not only abandoning his children but for lying about it to extent of pulling sob-stories about how much he misses them. Hope she continues to be a presence in their lives "Mommy loves me more than my children" - how much do you want to bet? your cushy7 home and your inheritance?

[@tully6648]

4th story: "... and basically I've been banned from my family unless I apologize." This here is the embodiment of the phrase "Don't threaten me with a good time." I hope OP never hears from them again, and I hope OP never falls for that stupid guilting tactic. Her family can go sit and spin.

[@breezy3392]

Story 3: I think the son needed to hear from someone close to him that that kind of behavior can make even though close to you dislike you. That being said, the tough internal conflict he was in with a toxic dad, get this kid some therapy and I hope he continues to talk to his mom

[@threegsgaming6959]

Final story: NTA. The Ex-MIL deserved the truth and deserved to see her grandkids.

[@velvety2006]

I think he was sleeping wth the friend that said op ruined his life, they are probably ware worried he wants to stay with them now lol

[@Lestaticate]

Last Story: DAMN, right in front of his mother! I feel bad for the ex-MIL for finding out her son’s true colors that way, but that butthole was trying to accuse OP for “keeping him away” from their kids! As for the so-called “friend” who’s upset at OP “ruining” her ex’s life … um, he did that himself. Cut them out, and continue being the best damn mom you can be. Edit: Kudos to the ex-MIL for cutting her son out … you know, like he did to his kids.

[@thetruth1816]

I would've slapped that "friend"that cut contact with them after that...

[@spydersoup8447]

Honestly, I imagine that if OP's ex knew that his mother was going to contact OP about seeing her grandkids, he'd probably try to stop her from contacting OP, like he'd say "She's going to be ignoring you anyways and never contact you ever again because this is how she is. So, there's no point trying to reason with her about it", and that'd be the moment when she'd spot the red flags. Honestly, I wish that happened instead because who would OP's ex be blaming for that? OP, even though she had nothing to do with his mother spotting the red flags from the lie?

[@thebaldcat6708]

Son: “Dad, this is really hard to tell you, but, IM GAY!” Dad: “Oh, ya plum done gone daggone did it now, son! No son o’ mine is gunna be one a’ those ‘home of saxuals’ !

[@A_Demon_Doggy]

Nice TFS reference 😂😂😂👍🏽

[@novamarpo3]

@@A_Demon_Doggy TFS gang

[@philip8498]

"god will provide like he has so far" damn, OP missed the biggest compliment of the universe right there. all hail OP! god of the universe and provider for crotch goblins.

[@Joe-rz3fd]

I volunteer at a camp for abused children. "I still love you, but I don't like you right now" is a phrase we are taught to say. Yes, it hurts the child's feelings, but that's the point: we're supposed to make the child feel bad about their behavior so they will change it willingly, without the need to punish them.

[@moshy2931]

Glad to hear about it it seemed pretty reasonable to me regarding the kid's behavior, while also kinda reflecting back the kid's logic to him (not so sure abt that?). And mom didn't say that she didn't love him or that the dislike would stay for ever, she said "now". Which is much better than my parents saying I made them regret what they did for me (that was pretty scarring). Anyways I think the son needed a declick to understand what he was doing, I'm happy that it resolved well and that his homophobic dad is out of his life.

[@Joe-rz3fd]

"Homophobic" is just one of the insults that mental patients use to describe sane people

[@immasnakeee6460]

@@Joe-rz3fd 🫤😐

[@sneko2860]

@@Joe-rz3fd elaborate

[@moshy2931]

@@Joe-rz3fd you need to elaborate cause his dad litteraly is homophobic, and depending on your intent behind that comment you might be too lol

[@itzashouthere240]

First story, OP should tell her parents that its a punishment for their sins. Infact it is more true then the time OP's parents told it to her Grandpa

[@tashacooper1753]

That was always my least favorite part of being in elder care having people just wanting the stuff

[@jennysmith38]

That's, sad. I don't know why people are like that, I've got some relatives that had asked my nan for stuff to be left to them when she passed, and she wasn't even sick and was living on her own, they put their names on tape, and taped them to the items they wanted, my nan actually asked me if there was anything I wanted, I just told her no.

[@tashacooper1753]

@@jennysmith38 it is hard my grandmas like that going I’m 84 pick your inheritance

[@katie6731]

My mom used to say that she loved me, but didn't like me very much when I did whatever bad thing I had done. I always thought that was a pretty normal thing for a parent to say. It reminded me that it was *my behavior,* not *me* that had upset her.

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

Ok for the first story: OP is in no obligation to help people that clearly played favorites

[@Tiewaz]

1st story: I wouldn't even sell it to brother or father if they were that way. And obviously, neither could afford fair market value. 2nd story: Not at fault. It doesn't take that long to do paperwork to sell a house. In-laws were milking OP and waited too long. 3rd story: You don't have to like someone you love. Glad OP is a better parent than the homophobic father. 4th story: If the sister is so stressed she miscarries because OP isn't stepping in to cover God's child support of sister's spawning, that's on sister. What if OP got hit by a bus and was no longer there? (Of course that family would likely blame OP for getting killed by a bus to get out of paying sister for spawning.) 5th story: Yeah, OP's ex made his bed. He just didn't want to lay in it. He knew his "I'm done being a parent" would look horrible to the rest of his family, so a lot of "oh, my wife was so mean, took my kids and won't let me in their lives." Basically, he wanted pity and people wanting to do things to 'help make up for the horrible treatment.' The reaction was probably worse because he lied.

[@velvety2006]

story two: i wonder if they were hoping that if they waited long enough op would just 'screw it here is the deed' and give them the house for free

[@Tiewaz]

@@velvety2006 If that was their mindset, they were dumb as well as lazy greedy bastages. A mortgage is essentially a lien against the property. I know no sane not-filthy-rich person who'd be willing to continue making payments on property no longer in their name. If transferring the deed into the in-law's names without the attending mortgage being paid off were even possible. And even filthy-rich people are too greedy to have that level of generosity.

[@TinyGiraffes]

Can we take a moment to appreciate how evil putting someone in a home for not having the same religious beliefs is.

[@kat1722]

My mum and I have had conversations about this, especially looking back at a really difficult time during school, she told me (after) “I may not always like you, but I will always love you” and it helped me with a lot of (especially family) relations and making sense of them. I may not always like my older sister but I will always love her.

[@Damaaskrose]

Story 4 - Dabney, listen to what she said. She didn't start the problem... the sister pushed. Also just to say that miscarriages happen to approx 10 to 15% of pregnancies, so if she loses the baby that is not on OP. It's just a fact of life.

[@Meringuesnake]

Not to mention, the way OP says it this is at LEAST the third or fourth kid, which greatly increases the likelihood of miscarriage

[@scottkendrix6231]

It'll be the fifth. Op said her sister has 4 at the age of 24. Unless op is counting the one on the way, which I doubt, that will make this one her fifth.

[@kaec8658]

The third story, I honestly was worried the son was starting the makings of an incel from bullying someone who's rejected him. Glad the mom taught him better when she learned why her son was such a bully. It's understandable but not excusable.

[@Nebraska60]

Yeah, it was weird hearing rSlash making excuses for incel behavior.

[@JBonkerz96]

Totally called it! The story about the 16 year old bullying the gay kid, I just KNEW it was going to turn out that he was also gay. I dont condone the bullying, but I feel for him. My father is also very homophobic and, while I am not gay, I was worried that if one of my brothers was, my dad would never speak to them again.

[@sailorstar3148]

Now I feel bad for judging OP‘s son too quickly

[@majoratwili7312]

Third Story: My parents used to always tell me "I love you but I really do not like you right now." That's the feeling I get with that mother. She loved her son despite him being a bully but she didn't really like him at that time. Loving your family and liking them aren't the same thing in my eyes.

[@Hybrid301]

Bro can get the house just like OP did. Over the former owner’s dead body.

[@eksboks148]

dayyyuummm

[@erikstephens6370]

The r/murderedbywords vibe is strong in this one. I fully agree.

[@bumblebee560]

The "I don't like my son" story reminds me of a story my friend told me. Apparently when he was a teen he had a phase where he was just acting like a real shit. His mother enrolled him in a summer camp just to get a break from him, and when she dropped him off she said, "I'll always love you, but I really don't like you right now." He said it really shook him up and set him straight.

[@CrimsonRevolutionary]

On the 4th story, the OP isn't worried about her sister's finances, but her own, as her sister's decision to get pregnant has become the OP's financial burden, according to the family anyway

[@jorgevazquez4181]

7:32 I would like to add that the statement "I dont like you very much right now" if said exactly in this manner, both states that the mother still cares about her son but is angered by his action and the son's behavior is why shes upset and not the son himself. So, this statement to me is great because it is a near ultimatum stating that she still cares, but if he continues, serious damage can be done to their relationship.

[@p.unintended]

It's so sad that there are so many stories of inheritance wars. Shows me that humans basically invented greed.

[@ovni2295]

My late grandmother had a saying: "Just because you love somebody doesn't always mean you like them," meaning that you may always have somebody's back but you won't always be able to handle their antics or BS. That's what sprang to my mind in the middle story.

[@spencerleifeld7517]

To the first story listed: "You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep. The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them." -Ezekiel 34:3-4 Enough said, enough said.

[@Ikajo]

Doesn't this summarise most of American politics right now? At least the Republican party and their shenanigans. I'm not American myself so I'm seeing it from the outside.

[@spencerleifeld7517]

@@Ikajo Aggreed

[@JokesInBase13]

HA! 16:26 no grandparent in the HISTORY of grandparents has EVER loved their child MORE than their grandchild 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@A_Demon_Doggy]

I can definitely relate to the 3rd story. When I was 17, my dad used a moment that I confided in him me possibly being attracted to boys (I am, but was in denial for a while after 😂) against me by telling my stepmother, which they both used against me when I called them out on some other bullshit they were the cause of. I have since cut them out of my life permanently

[@aliencat11]

My best friends ex husband also decided not to be a father anymore. He even refused to take the kids to see his family anymore, telling his parents his exwife wouldn't let him. She was a wonderful woman and contacted my friend to ask if she'd consider letting her grandchildren visit and explaining her what her son told her. My friend responded and then started forwarding the children's father's nasty emails to his mother to show her what was actually going on. It helped the kids and my friend, but not her ex.

[@CristinaFrank]

The story that has OP with the sister who keeps popping out kids; when was the best time to say what she did? She tried to avoid people after the announcement, but her sister kept pushing for a response. And she got it. Point blank. OP can't be expected to constantly put on a smile and open her wallet to her toxic "God will provide " sister. You know she has NEVER thanked OP for a single dime.

[@SkyeFyre2131]

I love stories on this subreddit, MC and ProRevenge where someone just nods calmly because it's usually the rumble of thunder before a big flash.

[@iPLAYtheSTATION]

I absolutely hate fathers like the one in the last story. Do you have any idea what growing up without a proper father figure does to a child? It's very damaging. Take it from me, I grew up without a dad after he died when I was young, and I have suffered as a result. The audacity to lie about his ex, abandon his children, then insult and blame OP when his own mother abandons him. What a piece of human filth.

[@toysruskid5074]

There are worse things. Like knowing your shit mother tears up your birthday cards from your dad and keeps them in a drawer and never let's him see you because shes bitter he wouldn't marry her after 2 whole weeks of dating.

[@iPLAYtheSTATION]

@@toysruskid5074 That too. Mothers who alienate their kids from their dads just to be spiteful and vindictive and use them as a weapon are absolute scum.

[@Kamanchuisdabomb]

I swear theres been so many posts about people asking if they are the AH for not giving away their home for free, it's ridiculous...

[@SryBut]

Story 5. He: I will abandon my children. His mother: I will do the same thing. He: Suprised Pikachu-Face

[@emiemigamerz2352]

💀

[@IFBBProYeo]

3:06 It's amazing!. The gas lighting is so strong that this person actually feels guilt and is questioning the actions and wishes of their own grandfather at the end of his life, even knowing the truth about everything. I agree that if the sun/ brother wants the house he should buy it. He's been told his whole life. He's going to get something for nothing and when the tables turned, BUY A GROWN MAN AND HIS SUPERIOR, He can't handle it.

[@soulgazer11]

For the last story: I'm honestly SO GRATEFUL that OP revealed the truth to her ex MIL. Like 98% of the time, family drama is covered in lies and secrets and it's about damn time we start being honest with each other so that we don't have to ponder over these issues until we die without the satisfaction of knowing the truth. Being honest takes no effort, unlike lying.

[@kiddfaith4397]

We all know that apology the parents want comes with an unspoken “now pay up for another 18 years” attached to it.

[@722lovemonkey]

Last story: There's something i just don't understand. What could the "father" possibly have to gain by throwing OP under the bus? What was he expecting to happen when he tried to play victim to his mother and making up a sob story that he misses his kids when he actully wants nothing to do with them? Was he trying to come off as the "depressed single father forbidden from seeing his kids" so he didn't have to look for a job or a place to live? Was he planning on subsisting off his mother's pitty like a leech? Was he just looking for pitty points to look like a better person? What could he possibly have to gain aside from being petty?

[@spydersoup8447]

You wanna know what I wished happened instead? If instead of the dad's mother calling OP to confront her about what her son told her, she instead spotted the red flags he's giving out and how she'll call OP about it and her son would say something like "Don't bother, she'll never reason with you, it will only be a waste of time" or something like that, and that's when she'll realize that her son's excuses into preventing her from ever contacting OP again. If that happened instead, would he still blame OP for this, for something that his own mother figured out? If she was this spinless to believe her son first, think he would never lie to her and confronting OP about the lies he told her, granted, she did come to her senses during the conversation with OP, but it's pretty stupid.

[@JeneenRose-Osborne]

Our mom has told each of us at times “I love you but I don’t always like you”. Kids can be assholes n it hits different when a parent or other family who you expect to like you no matter what doesn’t. Hopefully that will help him learn to be a better person.

[@sazanafadoju7350]

i really can't stand when I hear abusive parents using Christianity as their reason for abuse, such parent would hate me and I'm a believer.

[@Ikajo]

Same.

[@Xolivas1]

It makes me so mad when fake Christians use their religion as an excuse to get away with their attitude. And they always say, "Ohh don't worry, God will forgive me. He always will." Heck, even the Bible explains that whoever uses their religion falsely, are not deemed religious and should be silenced.

[@mysticove9697]

Regarding the "I don't like my son issue" My mom says that to me sometimes too When she doesn't like when I refuse to share things with my siblings, when I argue about being forced to do activities, She does say things like that

[@ArcherR135]

I disagree with the 4th story breakdown. The sister and her husband are barely scraping by, but they want to bring more kids into poverty? No. They honestly should miscarry. It’s horrible to say, but if they want to birth more kids into poverty, they get 5/5. It’s not OPs responsibility to save them from their own mistakes, 0/5

[@liladance3506]

My Sister Keeps Getting Pregnant 10:34 - Whether OP finally told her sister, only after being pushed to do so, that she was the one providing for her newly pregnant sister's 4 children and not 'god', her sister's answer to OP's question "How are you going to be able to afford another child?" at the party that night or privately the next day, the family response would have been the same, flying monkey group chats on Facebook and a barrage of angry text messages and indignant phone calls demanding OP to continue to pay for each and every one of Golden Child sister's kids.

[@vintagecameragirl]

Op you have to stop thinking of it as a house, and rather your grandfather's home. Your grandfather wanted you to have his home. Where he made his memories, where he loved his wife. Keep it op.

[@rmansfield6]

9:17 as a bi guy with a racist, sexist, and homophobic dad, yeah it really makes an impact. I am still deprogramming what he taught me almost a decade later

[@ShadowSorcerer]

No. OP in the 4th story isn't an AH at all. Her sister started the fight by pushing OP to answer. OP didn't want to talk about it at all and even if she did she still wouldn't be an AH who cares if it was a "special moment" not really a special moment when it's your 5th kid and you don't even have the money for it an expect your sibling to pay for everything in your life.

[@samanthav.7002]

How do you leave all your money to your parents, but nothing to your young children?? What the heck? Sell the house and put some money away for the kids when they turn 18!

[@foreignweaponn]

Love the consistency always in time for me to listen to it while I’m eating lunch

[@eksboks148]

kewl

[@andreaskalley3534]

I’m also eating lunch!

[@freezycastform]

1. OP, do NOT give them the house. Your grandpa saw you were worth his time, and not them. 2. Sell the house. It's yours, you're paying for it, they are dragging their feet: cut that line and move forward. 3. Man. Poor kid; stuck between a homophobic dad and his own feelings. 4. Good lord. Sister needs to chill until she can actually afford to care for her own kids. And OP TRIED to not bring it up, but sister kept pressing and pressing until OP snapped when she got snotty. OP, you're probably better off throwin' the whole family away if this is how they react. 5. HAH! HAHAHAHAH. When HE does it: it's fine. When he gets abandoned: Waaaaaa this isn't faaaaaair!

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: That was a rough story. At least things were fixed in the end (except the husband. See ya!)

[@kimnah4713]

To hell with that almost 50yr old baby I'd say record whatever he and his "friends" says over the phone and report them to police for harassment then apply for a restraining order lol

[@halfdemon4lifeintime]

Now I may get some shit for this, but you can LOVE your son but not like the person they are becoming at the moment. And honestly, had OP not expressed her dislike of his current personality then they would have never reached the conclusion that he was upset after rejection.

[@starlightdash4285]

Ikr, you can easily love/take care of somebody without having to like them. Seriously, I actually despise some of my family members; but I still care for them because they’re family.

[@hannahelyse2671]

I've seen this Reddit story with the bullying son all over KZbin, but, this is the first time I've gotten anything past the apology to the mom. I'm so glad things are getting better. Although, the ex is a terrible father, hopefully the mother's loving and honest communication will help give this kid the maturity to move forward with more empathy and dignity and less ignorance. Thanks R/slash for giving me closure.

[@L1K34PR0]

I disagree on the 4th story's judgement. Op's sister pushed op to speak up and op couldn't really do anything but be honest

[@AluniGaming]

2nd story: Why the hell weren't their 2 CHILDREN put as the beneficiaries?????? But his parents were, what BS!!!

[@josephnorris4095]

First story, if everything she said is 100% correct, that was a Christian home in name only.

[@kevinmencer3782]

Proverbs 23:22, anyone?

[@josephnorris4095]

@@kevinmencer3782 I am looking at that and wondering, what is your point?

[@kevinmencer3782]

@@josephnorris4095 literally says not to hate your parents?

[@auberginebear]

Story 3: NTA; there is a difference between loving and liking people, and you can love someone you don't like. I definitely feel that way about some of my family, and I've heard from others that they feel the same about family. And honestly, being told that one of your parents don't like you (and how you're acting) can be a good wake up call to someone acting up. As for the update, it's nice to know that things have been ironed out, especially what stopped the bullying.

[@maplecake]

Double feature today? Heck yeah!

[@eksboks148]

happy accident lol

[@katietravadi2362]

in the first post that’s so heartwarming that op’s grandpa left so much to op he must have really appreciated her true love for him

[@nocturnalwinter]

Two videos in one day~? o: Thank you rSlash!

[@ArmedPotat0]

He deleted the other one

[@asterross]

Being homophobic while being gay yourself is always directed from a parent/guardian/peers being homophobic themselves. You struggle with being true to yourself, and wanting to be "normal" so they don't stop loving you. I'm sure the boy's father made him feel terrified of being open about his preferences, and the fact that he was rejected was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. It doesn't excuse his behavior, but it does explain a lot. I think he should talk to a therapist about the internal homophobia he has, and why he feels the need to hurt the boy who rejected him.

[@auberginebear]

Story 2: NTA; the parents dragged their feet, if they truly wanted that house, they would have been on the ball and bought it right away.

[@marinaelliott8668]

OP from the first story's relationship with their grandfather was so wholesome, it made me tear up!

[@warningthetacohasagun8562]

I feel for OP in the first story, because a similar situation has been happened to and my grandfather. I took care of him and stayed with him for the last 10 years. I quit working and went into debt to stay back his side and care for him. I really hate how family can act so different after a loss.

[@victoriael-sabbagh9423]

That last story is exhausting. I hate that "How dare you expose me!" mentality that I see stentching up that subreddit.