r/AmiTheA**Hole For Refusing To Apologize For What Was Found In My CHILDHOOD DIARY?

[@schnebot]

i wish markee made timestamps for the stories. especially in these long videos.

[@amberlexicon]

Me too! I really like this video and other videos of his that are similar but I dont like EVERY post so it'd be nice to accurately skip around

[@shadesofjade]

At least three years on, he does time stamp now.

[@lesleykruijt8580]

Imagine overstepping the boundaries of the person who is housing you for free, a d expecting an apology from them 😂😂

[@heididietrich9800]

She snoops through your house and you have to apologize? You were TEN YEARS OLD! My sister digs up stuff that happened when we were kids and I am so tired of hearing it. I blocked her from contacting me. It's ridiculous to drag that stuff out. It was a new situation for you. Apologizing at ten if you had a fight, I could understand. But not now. I don't like sharing food either. It grosses me out.

[@wheelsndealz]

If she "can't control herself" around his food, then others must do it.

[@kirstenornelas881]

Lol I one stabbed my younger brother, 2 years apart, in the hand for trying to steal my brownie 😆

[@feraltaco4783]

Let her try to swiping my food a couple of times. OP won't have to worry about that valture again. I feel that one lesson may not be enough. I want to make sure that I really drive the point home.

[@feraltaco4783]

@@kirstenornelas881 chocolate must always be protected. Chocolate is life! 🍫

[@Decaying_bacon]

@@kirstenornelas881 def deserved

[@kirstenornelas881]

@@Decaying_bacon you would think he would have learned 😂 he never did.

[@astonjanuary]

What is it with all these people who read diaries and getting upset about it? It's the same as eavesdropping, don't be surprised if you hear/read something you don't like!

[@badkitty4922]

Exactly. " Put not your ear to the door, nor your eye to the key hole, lest ye be vexed!" I can't remember if that's the exact quote but, it was an old standard growing up.

[@notalwaysthere25791]

I know, right!

[@UberOrange712]

IMHO readings a diary is worse cause with eavesdropping ur going behind someone’s back with a diary ur literally just keeping 2 urself

[@briarrose6442]

My mother did this to me, then had the audacity to be a bitch when I got mad at her, asking why I wouldn't talk to her

[@keramorgan9339]

I feel like reading a diary is worse too because you can accidentally eavesdrop, but you can't accidentally read someone's diary

[@andthatsshannii]

With the n-word story, a close friend of mine was in a similar situation because she’s Korean and the word “I” in her language sounds like the n-word. People can’t just change their language because English speakers decided to create a racial slur

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

It’s a very American-centric way of thinking. THE WORLD’S LANGUAGES DO NOT REVOLVE AROUND ENGLISH, you dolt!

[@tinydancer7426]

regardless of OP age when she wrote in her diary (that could very well have been a diary/journal she was writing in as an adult while reminiscing about the past) , the step sister over stepped boundaries and violated OP's privacy. this situation is right up there with the concept of "if you are going to ask a question, be prepared to deal with the answer" ...... so, if you snoop and pry where you shouldn't, be prepared to deal with what you find.

[@trashcan2748]

If I had to live with someone like that I’d be tempted to make fake journals to see how much I could convince them that made up things were real. Like “I saw XYZ doing something outrageous”, “I laced the frosting I made last week with laxatives to spite everyone”, “I saw snooping person’s SO do something really messed up and unbelievable”, or “Snooping person doesn’t know it but I overheard XYZ say (insert gossip here that would start a ton of drama)”. I think it’d be funny to watch the reaction and it’s their fault for snooping anyway lmao

[@tinydancer7426]

@@trashcan2748 oh, how deliciously vicious. Mwah - ha - ha - ha - haaaaaaa! 😄

[@minagica]

Yo, the dude blaming his wife for the unexpected miscarriage is a HUGE AH, WTF??? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Him being "nice" is a facade he chooses to put on when worth it to him, by the sound of it 😖😖😖 I totally understand why she is now hesitant to tell him, poor thing. Also: her body is not stupid

[@bellajaid]

Pretty sure I directly asked my parents to sell my brother when I was 10. Ffs. You know what, still sounds like a good idea. I'll ask again. Maybe it'll work this time 🤣

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

Reminds me apparently my brother the day I was born tried to convince another mother if he could swap me with her daughter because he was told he was getting a sister he was 4 at the time

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Who the heck gets $30/hour to babysit? If all babysitters charged that amount no one with kids would work because getting a job would cost them more than they earn!

[@sherrimiller5258]

More like $30 a day! However, teenagers who babysit for date nights actually get paid more than I do watching children while their parents work. They do get about $10 an hour. I charge $30 a day per child.

[@___LC___]

Depending on the conditions for the job, I would charge $30/hr if it was a difficult job. Also, my education and training go well beyond “babysitter”.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

@@___LC___ No one would be able to afford that! It would cost more than most people’s entire income!

[@___LC___]

@@eph2vv89only1way that’s why when people need that type of specialized babysitting, or respite care, it is part of insurance or a government program. It depends on what level of care the children require.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

@@___LC___ ah ok. I get it now

[@kittenhero568]

wtf, nobody takes someone else food off their plates unless they're in a relationship

[@charliefinnmichael4770]

Even in a relationship, if not given permission, I'd say don't take others

[@Claire8483]

Even then I don't let my bf take from my plate lmao... I'm protective of my food :)

[@Roseismyboxer]

A few of my more moronic family members have been stabbed for trying to take food off someone else's plate. (Mostly stabbed with forks, but there have been a few steak night fiascos)

[@akagamenokyla1042]

I have two people that I will allow to take food off my plate. One of them is my girlfriend and the other is a friend I have known since we were what 10 I think. Everyone else has to ask or be offered. They're only allowed to because we have similar dietary restrictions ie allergies that we share.

[@briarrose6442]

My ex quickly figured out something was very wrong with me if I let him steal my food, because I actually bit him once for doing it

[@badkitty4922]

As for OP who took step sister's mom's urn, NTA. Given what the step sister did with OP's dog, it was wise and tactical of OP to not only get her beloved dog back (because clearly, the parents are useless enablers), but also to ensure step sister wouldn't try pulling any more B.S. I like to think of it as fighting fire with napalm.😉👍

[@tegantalks9612]

Honestly I blame the mom and step dad most in that one. Clearly there have been issues there since they got married and it sounds like they took no steps (ie. family counselling) to help prevent this escalation and now they’re surprised when something like this happens? I know you can’t force people to like each other but it sounds like the father didn’t discipline his daughter properly and set boundaries and expectations. My spouse is my son’s step father and we have made it clear to him that he is also a parent and my son has to listen to him as well.

[@badkitty4922]

@@tegantalks9612 sounds to me like you and your spouse are doing actual PARENTING, unlike a lot of incubators and donors out there. Good for you!😘❤👍

[@tegantalks9612]

@@badkitty4922 honestly I am thankful for the resources my community has available. It’s been very helpful in my parenting journey having the support of professionals and being able to have an objective third party to help us put things into perspective.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

1st Story: OP is NTA. Private thoughts in a diary are NOT up for discussion or judgement unless we are talking about someone who murdered or got murdered, or in the investigation of other crimes. A 10 year child's thoughts are usually not the same as once they grow up. However, it appears the step-sister hasn't matured much and OP's dad is still enabling this behavior. OP has every right to get them all to leave. I am so sorry for the step-brother who really does like OP.

[@tinydancer7426]

OP's age at the time of writing in a private diary/journal ...... that could just as well have been a diary or journal she was writing in as an adult ...... point here being, it's private ..... it's right up there with the adage of "don't ask the question if you are not be prepared to deal with the answer" ...... if you are going to snoop and pry, be prepared to deal with what you find

[@sandragarner2912]

Young chef: I have always had a severe dislike for anyone asking for, or taking food from my plate. Even a french fry. You did right. You cooked, You were not notified ahead of time that a guest was coming. Not your problem.

[@feraltaco4783]

The dog story at one hour. I greatly approve. Mom and dad are more upset that op stole ashes as a last resort of the others daughter's theft of a living, breathing animal. Just damn. OP needs to get therapy then file for multiple restraining orders. So NTA op.

[@notsure7874]

If my work calls me on my time off to come in and help them out - and then writes me up for not being there within an hour - I'm finding another job. That's crazy talk.

[@bellajaid]

I'm finding the number for the labour board. That is very illegal.

[@TheIndigoLion]

Smh my one of my managers likes to change my schedule without telling me. It never works though cause I screenshot my schedule soon as they are posted because I share a car with my mom and we have to plan around our schedules. She's tried to do this twice. She can't write me up though because I have proof. And its dumb because if she'd just ask I have no problem making some extra coins. Smh

[@shootingcomet082]

Step-mom getting photos of her step-kids: If they are old enough to drive themselves to step-mom's house, they are old enough to decide what photos they are and aren't comfortable being in. NTA

[@gloriaanderson8123]

Mine would spit up and have upset stomach unless it was cold. Surprised the whole family

[@deanfort6403]

³w smkk .ko .7.l7.i9mk K..m

[@dtester]

I think we know why the Ex is an Ex, am I right?!

[@bellajaid]

Honestly that story made me so sad. If anything happened where my husband and I split up, this is the relationship I would hope my kid would have with a step parent. They love her and visit her even years after their father passed, that is incredible.

[@kathieoray2990]

Fine, she charges. I was a caregiver for many years, $30 an hour is an absolutely rediculous fee to charge. I charged $40 for an entire day. Her sister is incredibly greedy. Her boss I'd an a$$, and expecting someone to be at work within an hour or there will be consequences?? Absolute BS!

[@badkitty4922]

Story 1 sounds like me when I had to tell my step parent "Don't go snooping through my private shit, and you getting pissed over finding something you didn't like is more YOUR problem, not MINE". So yeah, people can suck.

[@minagica]

The 19 y/o girl with the dead twin: her parents need to get an effin' grip. I understand they lost a child but they then decided to sacrifice their living child's childhood to it and that is HUGE AHness on their part

[@Roedygr]

NDA : Your mother gave you her password. That was tantamount to giving you permission to access her account. You did not hack anything or do anything illegal. If her blabbing persists, report her to the family who insisted on the NDAs. What is a DM? How does it differ from an ordinary text message?

[@Roedygr]

BACON : The guy was not paying attention and accidentally ordered bacon sandwiches (He could have just picked it out,) and decided to lie and make a scene to get free replacements. He fully deserved to be kicked out and banned.

[@carterpitbull7366]

I also had a Muslim friend in school who didn’t completely follow her religion and had even eaten pork once or twice herself. There are plenty of religious people who don’t follow all the beliefs.

[@Hiimreggie]

The person not scared to say they was a helper in a certain political candidate party,has balls of steel

[@topazcoyote5482]

"Am I the A-hole for telling my brother he got exactly what he deserved--" Ad: "Pampers!"

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

Fits the dude is a massive whiny baby

[@solitude8439]

If someone took my dog, they wouldn't be alive for long

[@___LC___]

I feel like the mom who is forcing her child to eat a big, heavy breakfast is a bit of a feeder. I don’t think the child is spoiled at all for wishing to choose and prepare their own breakfast. I personally prefer to eat in the morning, but not after 1630. Having to eat all of these heavy, greasy meals through the holidays, as visiting family and disabled takes a lot of my choices away…but I am sick every night.

[@minagica]

The Muslim dude that ate most of the sandwich with the bacon: he knew exactly what he was doing and just wanted to scam crying mistreatment to get a second free sammich 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@Cassandra765]

Babysitting story: Even though I'm against feeling entitled to free child care, the fact that the sister has never been expected to babysit before and it was an emergency situation I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a family member would help out if she could. Trying to gouge money out her own sister in a desperate situation is an AH move. If I were OP, I'd remember this if sister ever expected any help from me in the future. NTA.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

Yeah, I agree that maybe the sister should have done it that one time at least....but man it seems like OP would be out for 10 hours as they mentioned...like at the very least the sister should get a free meal for caring for a child at last minute. What if she already had a busy schedule? What if the sister wiuld have to drop everything, all her plans...to do last minute babysitting...the world doesn't revolve around moms in tight situations, other people have lives and plans. 30 bucks an hour is way too much...but the attitude of OP seemed kinda entitled. Using the one time she watched over her sister's dogs...which is nothing compared to caring for a child for hours at a time....this is coming from someone who used to semi frequently petsit for neighbors with several different animals, including a dog. It's not the same, and it seems like OP is trying to use her CHOOSING to do that for free, as some form of punch card to get what she wants. And sure....maybe the sister should have done it for free that one time....but OP was acting like it was atrocious of someone to expect to be paid for their time and work...family or not. Sounds like a choosing beggar to me. Just because you are family....doesn't mean you owe someone your time and work...unless you actually agreed to it, or this is something that has happened frequently...like a family member continuously helps you out when you need it for instance.

[@Cassandra765]

@@Chiller-pc1dv I agree with certain aspects of what you're saying. It's really only the circumstances that change the situation for me. If this had been a thing where OP regularly dropped her kid off on the sister without pay or any compensation then, yeah, I'd be more annoyed with OP. And yeah, she shouldn't be opposed to compensating her sister for her time, but the sister has never babysat before, never been asked to babysit before, and, judging from this story (of course I'm open to the possibility that OP could be leaving certain things out), it doesn't sound like OP's sister had anything special that was going on, but is demanding 30 dollars an hour? And she's doing this knowing the tight situation her sister is in? That's messed up, IMO. I'm always torn on these stories because, no, I don't believe anyone should feel entitled to someone else's time and work whenever they feel like it, but I also think it speaks volumes when you see someone you supposedly care about in a tight situation, in need of help, and your first response is to try and gouge money out of them. That's why I'm more annoyed with the sister here.

[@ultimatewolfexists2378]

Out for 10 hours? It’s very strange. I still think OP is an ESH. But the parents are the real Ahole for chewing out the sis.

[@Cassandra765]

@@ultimatewolfexists2378 That's fair. I can certainly see why it would be an ESH situation for other people.

[@bellajaid]

@@ultimatewolfexists2378 When you get down to the nitty gritty, ESH, but the boss is by far the biggest AH and likely did something illegal (depending on the area)

[@danielsmith1602]

I think the tree story is not about free access to the property, but it was her way of possibly rebuilding the relationship. Basically her way of having her foot in the door back to him.

[@glenniefrederiksen2305]

Yes it is a sad story people didnt hear how sad she was. He has a girlfriend he broke the mariage. She do not want to live in their old home because of memories. He is an asshole let her move om before he moved the tree

[@ttscrafts6765]

About raising your child your way - I was repeatedly told and practically harassed by relatives to not breastfeed my child, while just about every doctor on the planet confirms that breast milk is the optimal food for babies.

[@minagica]

Being demanded to apologize for the feelings you had and kept private at 10 15 years later!??? Sheesh, even some actual crimes have statutes of limitations (though some be really shouldn't), stepsis needs to get an effin' grip

[@canadalovesanime3137]

I have 3 kids, all 3 refused "warmed" bottles. Two would only drink it at room temperature, 1 wanted it straight from the fridge. This caused my mother to harp on me about trying to"make the baby sick, because a cold bottle "can't be digested". My ex's mother told me she was going to call child welfare because I was "freezing them to death" with the youngest ones. Well they are all VERY much alive and well. No one froze or "starved" to de*th. I was also told that doctors and health nurses only tell mother's to do stupid unnecessary things like sterilising bottles to see how stupid the "new"mother really are. "They get paid by the government/formula companies to get mother's to do all those useless things. One of my kids needed special formula because of a digestive issue. MIL flipped and said they just wanted mother's to waste most money, but it stopped the colic almost instantly. MIL tried to get me to, "do what I did when mine were 'fussy'. I gave them a bottle with some whiskey. It quieted them right down." WTF!?!?! Are you insane woman???!!? Needless to say I didn't listen or leave her with the kids alone EVER. Just because you have XXX amount of kids, doesn't make you a medical, or parenting expert.

[@yolandab2290]

About the "N" word, Your roommate is wrong. And she is also putting you in danger by having other people attaching you for your language. I would report her because for your own safety. You tried to educate her in your language. To no understanding. I feel/believe your roommate is 100% wrong? She needs to respect you and your languages. Just as you are expected to respect her and her languages. You need nothing wrong.

[@Adameia_]

In my family there is a running gag of "if you wanted ___ then you should (get your own/ordered one)" we would share drinks or bites plenty but this is used as teasing or as a back off thing if we aren't willing to share this time.

[@phoenixsky6124]

If you don’t report your mom about the NDA you are as guilt as she and I hope you’re fired and sued for not telling the family immediately.

[@debc6260]

I was thinking that I'd heard these stories before, then realized it's a compilation video. lol

[@michaelagainstme]

Bruh xd

[@nicolasschmutz7556]

H099ih09h9ib80h00ubb7h89urlu062rhphi89huo96bh0bhbhu9bhoh,0ib9hh

[@sassysavageshannon6205]

I have a nephew named Emiliano after Emiliano Zapata-Salazar, leader of the people’s revolution of the Mexican state of Morelos. And a grandstand named Emilio. Beautiful male names.

[@tinydancer7426]

Being cordial and kind to one's neighbors does NOT equate to doing anything for them ..... it simply means you don't go out of your way to be rude and nasty ...... and declining a neighbor's request that you render a service for them (e.i. delivering their ballot) is not being unkind or uncordial.

[@gamefreak2383]

Wow, her kids can't see her their father on Christmas for spite. I wonder how surprise she's gonna be when they go no contact with her.

[@kmbaldwin5325]

Ummmm, why does the wife need to write on the walls in the most used room (by both the house occupants and guests) in the house???? Get a notebook, whiteboard, chalkboard, or pick a more private room. FFS. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@flamelily2086]

Taking food off somebody else's plate is disrespectful and gross. The aunt was very rude.

[@FirstIsa]

My middle brother tried to take food of out oldest brothers plate and my dad didn't even get upset when his hand got nailed to the table with a fork. decade later and he still has to explain the set of four round scars on the back of his hand. Me personally if I cook food for me and you decide to help yourself to it? Don't be surprised if I point a knife at you. I have smacked my mothers hand with the back of a chef knife because she kept taking food off my cutting board while I was prepping my own dinner after saying she wasn't hungry..

[@Roseismyboxer]

@@FirstIsa Mom still gets her hand smacked with a spoon when she tries to take cookie dough out of the mixing bowl. (I set aside a separate bowl for her with raw dough)

[@emmahenrysoprano1253]

Babysitting story: NTA, bordering on NSH. I understand wanting to little compensation for your time, especially if OP has a long shift at work. But $30 an hour?! That's ridiculous.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

What's NSH?

[@FreshlyCrackedSpine]

@@shadowrosegaming3566probably “no one sucks here”

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@FreshlyCrackedSpine makes sense

[@kristenswaim4534]

The miscarriage story just enraged me so much. There is no coming back from what he said. Words cannot be unsaid and no amount of apology could make him be trustworthy again. I would have left him immediately. I can’t believe she was willing to have another baby with him. The fact that she can’t trust his reaction to this new pregnancy tells you he’s not a safe person.

[@raayvenwolfgirl5539]

For the picture one, I have a feeling that the mother of the kids is expecting, now that the husband is dead, the kids are not related anymore, expecting that there ties of growing up siblings are absolved and 'just friends' at this point. It doesn't work like that, but she's diluding herself to that being the case. Oh. And taking advantage of free babysitting.

[@kmbaldwin5325]

I was a little confused by that. Did the OP ever state whether her kids were with her husband or from a previous relationship? I know she made a comment about the kids not sharing DNA, but the way she talked also made it seem like her kids were from her husband, which if that is the case, they do share DNA and are actual siblings and not friends. 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️

[@raayvenwolfgirl5539]

@@kmbaldwin5325 I know, right? Either way though, the other mother is a total Ahole.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@kmbaldwin5325 she has bonus kids and kids from her husband

[@ladyofshallott5005]

About the name mispronunciation: I actually think OP is TA. I work in an international environment.There are teams with people from 4-5 different countries,Asians,several European countries etc. I myself am German,but I have a quite rare,old Germanic name.Even other Germans mispronounce it all the time. My colleagues from Belgium,France,UK,Japan,Thailand mispronounce my name and I probably don't pronounce theirs correctly either.Getting hung up on the exact proper pronunciation of your name to the point of lecturing people like that is just incredibly annoying and we wouldn't get any work done at all,if everybody on the team would lecture people on their name. People with different mother languages WON'T get your name right and sometimes can't even form some of the sounds needed to do so in their mouth. I expect no English native speaker to learn how to pronounce the German "ch" or "ü" just to pronounce my name perfectly without an accent.And yes, I think OP is TA for getting so hung up on it in a professional working environment.

[@sacilexi231]

She showed up to funeral because she's a victim...poor poor me.. I'm so hurt, I need everyone's attention and pity.

[@Silverhineko]

Showed up to the funeral with her affair partner * You forgot that key detail that's the Icing on this disgusting trash cake.

[@TheLilyMustang]

“JOEY DOSEN’T SHARE FOOD!” Yes! I am so glad it was the first comment because it is all I could think of.

[@wubbalubbadabdab420]

"Step away from the plate mam, before I kabam" lmao 🤣

[@TheMelbournelad]

1:09:30 100% someone in HR/legal/PR office watched the zoom call and had a panic attack that this was law suit/PR storm in the making about the ethic name stuff up. Had a word to the CEO to nip it in the bud ASAP

[@kellyk6652]

To the babysitting story, if your boss called you in on a day off, he cannot legally tell you that if you aren't there within a certain time you'll receive a consequence. That is discrimination against single mothers and ILLEGAL! Fight that. Your sister is the ahole for wanting such a gouging rate as well. Please make a secondary emergency plan. What if some day it's your parents that need you in that emergency? Are you going to let sister charge them $30 an hour to fill your shoes?!

[@kellyk6652]

To the lady getting married and the ex being the jerk, KEEP THE KIDS! My ex used to pull this crap all the time and the only way to stop that power play is to pull your ace. Keep the kids, screw his wishes, stand by the formal agreement. Just realize that you don't get to change it later. You don't suck. He does. He was the one who broke what would have worked. Invite the in laws over to see the kids. Punish the ex, not the in laws.

[@notsure7874]

Ohhh the NDA mom ... she wanted to brag SO MUCH! I'd tell her straight up - I now have to tell the family and resign this greawt job because of your big mouth, and it's also now costing me legal fees. So now I'm jobless, and it actually cost me money to take that job. Great work Mom!

[@katieb.1184]

oh my god. no. you have EVERY SINGLE RIGHT to demand your name is spoken correctly

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Honestly, I 100% support the OP that took the ashes. Those are just remains, the dog is a living creature that needs care. It was justified just like Markee said

[@pixiegirl131415]

Re: engraved engagement ring - I really hope they aren’t getting married if this is how she handles conflict. She even says later that the name isn’t that big of a deal, but that she doesn’t like him assuming. Then take him aside later and talk about it, no need to have a scene in front of his family. Also, we live in a society where the default is for the woman to take the man’s name. It’s not unreasonable for him to assume that, though checking before engraving would be a good idea.

[@Fightingforthelost]

First, it's a cultural thing. In Japanese families, it doesn't always go with the woman taking the man's family name if he has older brothers and she has none - in that case, he might take her name to carry on HER family. I know this because my husband is part Japanese and when we got married, he opted to do this (as in, he took my last name). Second, this is something that should always be discussed FIRST, and just assuming is wrong on his part. She might want to me a Ms and keep her last name, or even get a hyphenated version of their name. There are problems on both sides there - one with her reaction, and two with him not discussing things like this before taking action. As an aside, I know the husband taking the woman's last name is rare. I hear about that all the time. My husband and I did this because he didn't like his last name, and there aren't any sons in my generation to carry on the family name (all the cousins are girls, too). He asked my dad if he minded, and my dad literally teared up and told him he'd be thrilled.

[@stevetreloar6602]

Both my sisters kept their own name and the one with a daughter shares her moms name while her brothers have their dads name

[@vincentlucario5450]

@@Fightingforthelostop literally said she didn’t care

[@lunaticbz3594]

This story takes place in a very small military base in Iraq. The cafeteria was serving Chicken Cordon Bleu!! which was amazing we didn't get the best food usually. One of the local interpreters who worked with us asked someone what the food was and they said chicken. A minute later, luckily my mind finally clicked and I remembered that Chicken cordon bleu has ham in it, and luckily the interpreter had just gotten to his seat and hadn't eaten yet. I very quickly tell him "I'm sorry but just so you know there's ham in it." He stands up lucking outraged and goes "Ham!" Then looks around the room sees its just other soldiers and no other locals or Muslims around sits back down and goes "It's just Chicken" and digs in.

[@tegantalks9612]

With the dog story I think it’s an ESH. 1. Sis sucks for stealing the dog. 2. OP gets a light AH for stealing the ashes in retaliation. 3. Mom and step dad get the biggest AH of all for not nipping this sibling rivalry in the bud years ago and getting help for sis when she needed it.

[@zashgekido5616]

I mean... Back someone into a corner and watch what they do honestly. Considering the alternative was get police involved I give her points for creativity

[@judithgockel1001]

Never knew I had a ‘my food’ issue was when a dinner mate reached over to take an item from my plate. I stabbed his hand with my fork without my brain ever engaging. And did not care.

[@dragonladyfink4685]

What kind of man blames his wife for a miscarriage. Ugh. I HATE HIM! Nope out. Run! Take a fast car! Train! Plane! Just out and be gone with the kids or change the locks. This Is ABUSE.

[@randomshorts6862]

I hated when people read my journals or dairy's as a kid that's why there's a lock ppl mind ur own business.

[@JasmynSundayrose]

By the time my niece had her baby, my twins were almost 19. I told her that I wouldn't give her any advice bc everything I was told, were probably not valid or they changed things. When I had my twins, they had just changed it that they want babies on their backs at sleep time. They are always changing things.

[@Witchyprinxe]

Listening to your videos while reading "debbie doesn't do it anymore" which is turning out to be one of my newest favourite books

[@BurroughsProductions]

"I said horrible things to my sister but I'm sad. Am I the asshole?" Seriously??

[@MadameMushroom]

The wife should get a poster board or diary, or use a closet and write on post it notes but the bathroom isn't the place to write in the walls for the exact reason that ended up happening.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Or get swathes of butcher block paper (white) and hang it on the walls. That way if anyone needs to use the bathroom they can just take down the paper.

[@GreenAirSheep]

​@@GrumpyOldFart2Or she could just a large sketchbook or notebook. Portable and private.

[@nuyabuisness7526]

I worked food service for years. The expectation is 1000% on the customer to convey dietary restrictions.

[@shootingcomet082]

OP asks sister to babysit: ESH. OP's job sucks for calling her in last minute and penalizing her for arranging child care. The sister sucks for charging such a ridiculous amount to watch the kid and if this was her way of saying no, then she should have just said no. But, IMO, OP sucks more (than her sister, not her job). OP's sister has never watched her niece before and has probably never watched any children before, but she is expected to do so for the first time with only a few minutes heads up, a very young child and for 10 HOURS; no less do it for free and with a smile on her face because of some favors that OP chose to do for her a few years ago and because "family". We are also missing some critical information. Seeing as she lives alone, I feel that its safe to assume that OP's sister most likely has a job. Would she have had to call out of work to watch her niece? Was it her day off? Did she have other plans that she needed or wanted to do? Did OP know that her sister was free, or did she just assume that her sister would be free or willing to drop everything to watch her niece? Did OP even care? IMO, all of these things matter and OP comes off as maybe being entitled for just assuming that her sister would and should drop everything and help her.

[@boooo13]

Plus the dog favor that op pointed to was when they were living together which feels like a different situation that asking someone who doesn't live with you to look after a dog

[@shootingcomet082]

@@boooo13 And dogs are a lot different to take care of that a child. A semi trained, house broken, adult dog does not need constant supervision and can be left at home, alone.

[@katieb.1184]

it is NOT NORMAL to expect someone to give you half their already dished plate underr you're under the age of 6

[@Thebigbubba]

Ah, yes, the solution to being offended by someone saying something that sounds similar to a racial slur is....more racism with racial slurs, the hipocracy rivals the irony.

[@bryanmatson5164]

Actually I had an issue with an old friend from high school that had a habit of trying to steal food off my plate. It took me actually stabbing him with a fork before he realized I was absolutely serious about taking a finger off if he touched my food again. They got to learn somehow.

[@frogking6416]

Reddit really says "therapy/ call the cops/call CPS/ sue" like have any of them tried any of those options it's not gonna go out smoothly as they think

[@MissSimone02]

Before even hearing the first story, NTA. It doesn't matter what was written in that diary she violated your privacy period. That happened to me and I've tried to keep journals over the years but I literally cannot do it. Ever since my mom beat my ass for what I wrote in my diary I can't do it.

[@missflowerpower8724]

😢😢 I’m so sorry… happened to me, too.

[@MissSimone02]

@@missflowerpower8724 I'm sorry that happened to you. I have like 4 half written journals in my bookcase right now. And I live alone. It's still a fear that someone will read it and get mad about my personal thoughts.

[@KazumaRuchi1]

There is a story in this where a husband is super unsupportive after a pregnancy loss and OP doesn't trust him with the info even after he "improves". She is scared of his reactions because he was blaming and venomous in the mourning period but I wanted to say. Don't tell him till your sure and also after this kid, DO NOT HAVE MORE KIDS WITH THIS MAN. Please.

[@minagica]

Piggy aunt demanding food off of OP's plate is the AH, NOT, the OP, WTF???

[@TheVeggiekat]

Who writes on bathroom walls? Wife is an AH. She can buy a journal

[@TaterKakez]

I can’t imagine going out to dinner then demanding half of someone else’s dinner

[@_Fizel_]

The breakfast story: Honestly seeing the update and edits, Mom is an utter witch. Doesn't take mental health seriously. Doesn't take OP's request seriously. Then after OP making it super clear after the main bit, she makes a large heavy breakfast. She's just being too much now. And she only makes the breakfast solely for OP so she's getting extra points for wasting food in the façade of it being a 'nice gesture'. The same name ('Tom vs Thomas'): NTA. SIL just wished her baby dead. NOPE. I don't care if the post was about the name, SIL just lost all empathy. There are indeed a million names, and a lot of them are similar! And you have no rights over a name, even if your child who had that name died. That doesn't make it right to WISH AN UNBORN BABY DEAD. The breast cancer story: ESH. Crazy lady was just pulling the cancer card to justify being a witch. She straight up a nasty crazy witch. But OP was harsh. (Not wrong though... Just shouldn't have said it to her face.)

[@debbiehines6803]

To the guy in the restaurant, the guy was trying to get free food. I've worked in restaurants and people try this stuff all the time.

[@SH-qs7ee]

Yes, muslim food restrictions are well known. However, unless the customer either says he's muslim, or has 'I am Muslim' tattooed across his forehead, wait staff are not allowed to assume.

[@kellylee4696]

I couldn't even imagine charging someone in my immediate family to watch his/her child. If that's the case, I would be a millionaire by now. I was the sibling who chose to be childfree and if I could get $30/hour per child, I'd be able to retire by the lake. YOU DON'T CHARGE IMMEDIATE FAMILY WHEN THEY NEED HELP! If it becomes a common occurrence or abused, then I could see charging, but this was literally a one-time emergency situation. OP is not the A-Hole but sister is a major one.

[@stephjovi]

For the nanny: YTA not for hacking but for telling your mum all those details. You made them sign NDAs? It's your job don't tell her details she must not share

[@TheIronwil]

Lost in translation: NTA. Words from other languages sometimes sound like bad words in others. I married a Thai woman. The Thai word for "pumpkin" sounds almost exactly like the F word in English. One of my relatives was here visiting from Thailand in late October, and there were more pumpkins than she'd ever seen. In the middle of a store, she exclaimed loudly and repeatedly how many F's there were all around. Customers were wide-eyed and my wife was nearly in tears laughing.

[@carissaconway2802]

$30 an hour ? CRAZY!!

[@kaitlyndismuke9966]

Worked at a restaurant where the manager REWARDED disrespectful customers. One customer who was screaming in my face over something that was not my fault at all (told him it would be a 45 min wait for a table at the first, and he then decided that “45 minutes” was actually like 20 and that he’d waited long enough at that point) was offered a big smile, an apology for the wait he knew perfectly well about this whole time, and even a round of free drinks. I was near tears from the yelling and what not, but eff me I guess. Good on that guy for standing up for his staff. Doesn’t mean they’re always right, but they should always be heard and considered before a ridiculous customer.

[@opalglass8101]

"Step away from my plate, ma'am, or I kablaam!" 🤣

[@jakeking3859]

I know im a bit late to the party, but I've recently been going back through these. I'm at the 2 hour mark, and I've just gotten so mad that I can't hold it in, though. How is no one sticking up for the woman how has been trying for 9 years to have a baby, going through all that heartbreak and turmoil, with no emotional support from her sister? Her sister knew, her mother presumably knew, that she had been trying 9 years for a baby. That's a constant up and down of hope and then depression, of hormones messing with her systems and emotional health, of lost time and money, probably both physically and emotionally draining circumstances for 9 years. A prolonged, constant battle. Her sister then chose to, in front of a person who she knew had been struggling like that, say that she'd had an abortion. I saw a comment that she was 'sad'. Sad doesn't even begin to cover how it must feel to be trying for a baby for 9 years without success. And then her mother jumps in, in front of her daughter who has been struggling for 9 years, to say how brave her other sibling is. It makes me so angry to see that no one saw how provocative that behaviour was. And yes, the woman shouldn't have said those things about her nieces, but I just find it so awful that everyone's piling on top of her to say she's the asshole in this situation. Why did her sister say in the open instead of quietly, later? Why didn't her mother, after the announcement, take her aside to comfort her quietly? There were things they could have done to prevent any of this from taking place and causing the rift.

[@Cerinaya]

This would be an everyone sucks here. She didn't need to say that about her nieces but her sister and mother could have discussed it later not in front of the person they knew had issues with the idea of pregnancy and abortion.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@Cerinaya ESH but the sister even more so than OP because she DID know about OPs struggle and was left to low contact by OP because of how callous and unsupportive she was

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@shadowrosegaming3566 I think that sister did it deliberately. She could have given ANY excuse, like she had a stomach bug, or a really bad headache, or something, and then told the mother later, privately. Then the mother could have told OP later, in private. Is Op wrong for saying all those things? Yes. But if the sister didn’t do it deliberately, then she’s one of the most callous shitheels on the planet.

[@Slithery]

The aunt who wanted the spag bowl being called a ‘piggy aunt’ in the comments made me think of a female Vernon Dursley

[@QuayHollywood]

I just have to say, my father converted to Islam before that he was a huge red meat lover. Even after his conversion he said the only thing that he does thats against his religion is eat red meat. It's your job to say something not the person serving you

[@spriken]

Story 2: The only way OP could have been the AH for not sharing food would be if the person had not eaten that day, there was literally nothing else in the house and the person was having a medical episode.

[@jessicathompson236]

Second story; I'd be questioning why you aren't allowed to eat.

[@TheVeggiekat]

Nanny story - OP is also the AH (along with the mom) OP shared that info with her mom. If OP hadn’t told mom. Mom wouldn’t have been able to share.

[@ronamayday]

The story near the 1 hour mark where OP’s ex won’t let their girls go to her wedding. OP wasn’t the AH. Her ex is exactly like my aunts ex. Her last comment cemented in that he’s the type of man that if it’s not his idea it’s aimed to hurt him so he has to reject it even if it hurts the kids. My aunts ex told her to her face he will do what he can to punish her for leaving. That’s what happens when you leave a narcissist.

[@xraikeneo]

For the babysitting story $30 an hour is ridiculously high and possibly more than OP would actually be making at work

[@eph2vv89only1way]

I would say nta for the babysitter sister story if it wasn’t for the fact that they had a relationship where they did favours for each other for free and op had no reason to think it had changed. That makes op nta

[@charmaintrout174]

The missing dog story...."GO NUCLEAR!!"....Yes. This. Totally agree!

[@nickibrewer-mann9898]

This is a message for the OP who is being forced to celebrate with your dead sister. This might work or it might not. A suggestion is sitting down with both your parents and gently explaining how you feel about been forced to celebrate your late sister. When you do sit down with your parents you could let them know that you don't feel comfortable having to celebrate with a sister that you never met. You could suggest taking baby steps and that you both agree on a plan of action that you all agree on. But before that you need to let your parents just how you feel. Because if you don't say anything and that your parents don't know then they wouldn't now just how you feel.

[@missflowerpower8724]

Story with the non-babysitting sister… seriously, $30 per hour is $9K PER MONTH! It’s not like the mom has asked for “help” every day!!I I would NEVER give that sister any favors again!!

[@tinycrimester]

i had so many wtfs over the food story, both the aunt, the mum and the goddamn commenters asking if OP is fat??? eat my fist!!!

[@bethking9830]

If OP signed an NDA, that should have included her mother

[@rubymeaddle]

Babysitting OP: at the risk of getting dragged NTA. It was an emergency.

[@dragonladyfink4685]

Next time the wife should use the back of her closet or keep a bucket of white paint nearby.

[@laurenjones9924]

How hard do you have to snoop to find a 15 yr old diary? That’s like digging through boxes in the basement snooping.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

For the babysitting one....is nobody going to say anything about the fact that OP was trying to compare the one time she took care of her sister's dogs...to watching a child for...several hours and caring for them? I've pet sat before for several different animals...and considering how close OP and the sister live...yeah she's not going to have to be there all day, just check up on them every few hours to let them out to do their business, make sure they have food and water... unless the dogs are known to be destructive...or are very young....there really is no reason for OP to spend all day there. And caring for dogs, when they are already trained, and know not to destroy everything....is NOTHING compared to CARING FOR A CHILD for what....I think OP said 10 hours?? Like yeah the sister shouldn't have asked for 30 bucks an hour...but ffs OP you just expect childcare for that many hours to be free? Anf holding the one time OP watched the sister's dog, over the sister's head....really gives off some serious choosing beggar vibes. And it also seems like OP left some things out....like if the sister had plans that day, that she would be dropping to do last minute babysitting. Family or not...you pay someone for their WORK. Just because OP was ok with doing pet care for free...doesn't mean everyone else should be ok with doing unpaid childcare....

[@Roedygr]

CHAOS : What is infuriating is Mom refuses to make an effort, never apologizes, and does not even acknowledge the problem. Where is the lock on your room to keep the brats out, ditto the gecko enclosure? I presume they were not paying rent. You would expect them to be aware of what an imposition they were, and tiptoe about. There are 6 billion other people to potentially take them in. You have done your shift.