r/AmITheA**hole Telling My Ex She'll Have to Live Without Closure r/AITA

[@MarkNarrations]

Apologies for the lack of being about the last couple of days all. Been a bit full-on but tomorrow is my youtube work days, back to spicy normal. Much love all!

[@BRAINGUTZZ]

It's alright we'll love the videos just as much m8

[@katiesmith2031]

All cool 😀

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

It's fine we understand ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ ◡̈

[@rylashadow18]

Are you taking care? Getting food, rest and refreshments? We all know you got a lot to deal with so no worries as long as you're taking care Mark.

[@catandrobbyflores]

As long as you are healthy and happy everything is good!😀

[@catte.]

Mark listen, don't take this the wrong way, but nobody would be mad if you took a couple days for yourself to take care of life. Your well-being comes before the well-being of this channel. All the best.

[@TheNormExperience]

Agreed. Never need to apologize for disappearing if it’s what he needs to do.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Yes just stay safe

[@Mewse1203]

Agreed

[@badkitty4922]

Agreed💯%

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Exactly, we loveeee your videos, but if you need time, take some time. Just please warn us so we know everything is okay

[@kittenswithbows]

Story 3 - she didnt lose her 32 week baby. She lost her 5 DAY OLD baby. I feel he uses the preemie status as a way of belittling the death and making it seem like the baby wasnt born.

[@ChefBoiRLiik]

Let me catch Mark apologizing for being busy one more time and I STG I'm gonna show him love and affection.

[@missluciddreams3472]

That sounds dangerous 😳

[@J_e_s_s]

Right? If I hear one more apology I swear I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind and say that it's okay because life happens and WE WILL be here when he gets back and that we all hope everything is okay and are sending him love. 😠❤

[@rosie6821]

So help me god i will give him reassurance and support

[@zebnemma]

story 1: the ex had so many years to apoligize, and she chose to apoligize only after she found out OP was dying...Yeah she isn't really sorry she had no problem taking her sweet time and had no guilt for years and years... She had already not apoligized in 5 years. I bet if OP wasn't dying she wouldn't have bothered.

[@pippo17173]

Ya fuck that. You want your closure? Get there as early as you can and maybe the one you screwed over will give you everything you needed to hear.

[@t.matthies3049]

Yep. I do think it's good to forgive, but it's honestly up to OP. It's his life, and he gets to decide how he spends the rest of it.

[@JJerseyGirl]

👏👏👏👏👏👏. She is only trying to uplift herself.

[@hollystar24aj]

to me only time you should ask for closure is if the break up was abrupt and no reason was given OP's ex knew the reason behind the break up she's the one who spread out her legs to another man so she should know the reason behind the break up already so to me OP has absolutely zero reason to give closure she knows what she did.

[@sandracox4341]

@@t.matthies3049, we don't know that he hasn't forgiven her. You don't need someone to ask for forgiveness to forgive them.

[@Davtwan]

Rule of thumb: if you have to tell someone to “get over it” because it’s been x years since a tragedy, then YTA.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Kinda my thoughts Though therapy for the wife should also probably be considered, tbh

[@darkshadow5581]

Story 2 NTA. "I let my BF choke to death because i couldnt check on them a few times the 1 night in 20 years they were defenseless, AITA?" could of been this title if OP was unlucky.

[@leegraves8878]

Husband not boyfriend I was gob smacked my wife would be checking on me every 5 minutes. But my wife loves me op in that story cannot say the same.

[@leelee7731]

He chose his action to get blackout drunk. Gee what fun for his wife! Not! And because he did get that drunk he thinks, and you think, that it was he job to spend her night watching over this guy? Just wow. I’ve had plenty of friends get too drunk and pass out. It’s annoying as hell to even role them on their side after doing an uncomfortable halfhearted attempt to let them sleep it off on the floor with a rag towel under their head and a rag towel in front of them in case they throw up. Their actions are on their own heads and they have been obnoxious as hell to get that drunk. They chose their risk they get to wear or choke on the vomit. I go enjoy my nice bed at home. Why should I burden myself with watching over an unconscious drunk and miss my rest of game time or just twiddling my thumbs? Answer is I won’t

[@leegraves8878]

@@leelee7731 Ahh so you also hate whomever you're with got you. Or are just using them for a paycheck.

[@FelineFosterFamily]

@@leelee7731 it was a one off mistake. Accidents happen - I can go through a massive list of how it can happen without meaning to. It’s really not a big deal to make sure the person has a safety backpack or pillow so they can’t roll onto their back. Also leaving the vomit for them to cleanup during a one time mistake is pretty petty. And I can say I’ve definitely been in situations of having to look after messy drunk people, I don’t enjoy it at all. But I’d much rather that than they die/things become totally stained cause I’m being petty or spiteful.

[@axisdoesart4721]

@@leelee7731 I assume you don't understand how intoxication works and since I take a 3 - 6 month refresher course for work its time to educate you. Intoxication and inebriation is a result of many factors on a person. Things that can effect them and their intoxication levels are the following. -food in stomach -mental health/state of mind -dehydration -body weight -amount of fat versus muscles -age of the person -alcohol tolerance All these factors can effect you while drinking and since alcohol is a suppressant, it effects your judgement and impairs your thoughts. All of these factors combined makes for a possibly bad situation. His wife may not be obligated to look after him, but him potentially suffocating and dying on his own vomit would not be his fault either. When you suffer intoxication on that level your body literally can not register that you are dying. It is inhumane to will someone their own death because you couldn't take the 5 minutes it takes to see if they are breathing. And this is coming from a child who had both fathers as alcoholics. He didn't do this intentionally nor did he likely expect to get so drunk. Hearing your wife, the love of you life and person that you thought would help you in your time of need. Blame you for possibly your own death is gut wrenching and callous. Your lesson of the day everyone is compassion and empathy. Put yourself in his shoes after he wakes up in his own vomit. Would you be scared too?

[@RandomTrinidadian]

"My wife is completely on my side and gave my Father a piece of her mind. It was completely hot to see..." 😁 Yep, OP is definately at peace and is not obligated in any way or form to give the cheating ex any closure after he has clearly moved on. NTA.

[@indigokookaburra2459]

For Story 2: NTA I thought it was common sense not to just leave drunk person alone when at home? I doesn't matter if it was OP's responsibility to make sure they don't drink too much or watch what they're drinking, mistakes can happen, and usually people aren't aware of the stand drink rule. I can tell you after doing an RSA course, I was surprised of the lack of knowledge I and others had on the subject. The Wife should have made sure to check on OP every so often, you don't just leave a Drunk person alone to sleep. I can't tell you how many times I was warned to make sure I took care to whomever was in my care to place them on their side as they sleep, keep the door open to listen when I'm not in the room, keep a bucket handy, rug shampoo, water, snacky foods (not salty), pain killers. You can never predict what will happen, especially if they're drunk enough to black out. Have you ever seen, interacted or cared for a person too intoxicated to walk? To make sentences correctly? Hell, even recognise you? They can't keep care of themselves in that state, and 8 times out of 10 they will vomit, either in their sleep or when they're awake. In their sleep, they will choke on their vomit unless someone intervenes. Sure, OP could have been more careful, but he wasn't and made a common mistake. Big deal. Lots of people do that. You can't predict how much you can tolerate if you only drink four times a year. That's just nonsense. The Wife was in the wrong here, maybe she didn't know, maybe she did and ignored OP. I don't care. You don't leave an intoxicated person alone. And about the vows. Sure, in sickness and health, referring to cancers and flus. But being intoxicated doesn't mean OP didn't need help. Were they sick? They could have been. They fucking vomited. What if on the off chance their liver or kidneys cut out because of the alcohol and the wife wasn't caring for them? What of alcohol poisoning? They could have had a fucking seizure. Fucking hell, there are so many possibilities that could have happened, and they're both lucky those things didn't happen. But what if something did happen? And the Wife wasn't checking up on them? How fucking awful would that have been? "Hey, OP, sorry I ignored you for the night when you were intoxicated and I didn't realise you had a seizure from alcohol poisoning. But you see, I wasn't responsible for taking care of you, even if I was the only other person in the house to help you." Jesus fucking Christ, this is awful.

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

story 3 - What TF is OP smoking? Definitely TA, it's so insensitive and not everyone can get over someone's death regardless of age.

[@ZValerian21]

Story 2 NTA! I wouldn't leave (and haven't left) my friends who are blackout drunk alone without checking on them every now and then. It's not ideal but it happens. If you care about someone, you'd think you'd want to check if they're still alive. I'm pretty sure that "in sickness and health" doesn't have qualifiers, when you get married. If my partner of 20 years said "you're not my responsibility" or anything like that, I'd be seeing a lawyer to make that official. Also if the genders were reversed the response would definitely be different.

[@darkdancer46]

THIS! we (partners/friends) look after each-other coz we care...those that don't give a fcuk....can get out!

[@katerinaadriah]

And I can’t help but think if OP had choked and died or ended up with aspiration related injury, she’d have been the grieving widow/distressed spouse sobbing on and on about the unfortunate accident. Other wise, these same people would be calling *her* the ahole for going “oh well, he wasn’t *my* responsibility.” It makes my skin crawl that it’s so acceptable and “expected” to leave your spouse or loved one unconscious, in a dangerous situation because “it was [his] fault anyway.”

[@msredux]

If my partner of 20 years had a dumb night and drank way to much I would look after them, make sure they are on their side as to not choke if they throw up, it's just one night, is not as if op was an alcoholic

[@KingdomHeartsGame1]

Story 2: NTA marriage is a god damn partnership. How are you not going to take care of your other half? I would reconsider having a wife who wouldn’t take care of me.

[@petitmains]

I'd reconsider staying married to a lil bitch who can't hold their liquor.

[@TheFuri0uswc]

2 Story NTA, when someone is drunk your supposed to set them in a position so if they throw up they don't die. It is neglect to do otherwise. I don't know what reddit is on to think that if he died it was his own fault.

[@yourneighborhooddeadpool488]

It’s basically saying “Whoops, you died while choking on your own vomit when you were blacked out which totally could’ve been prevented” Blacking out is when a person has no control of their own body from drinking, how would OP know if he vomited and choked on it. People on Reddit are sometimes so damn ignorant. IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH ASSHOLES. Smfh

[@tonidambrosia7436]

Maybe they were going with the: you chose to drink, therefore you're to blame?

[@murakumo65]

For reddit, 90% of the time if OP has a penis and didn't act like a fucking paladin, he's the asshole.

[@yourneighborhooddeadpool488]

@@murakumo65 It’s sexist. Reddit is basically one-sided and if you have an opinion, you’re basically just shunned from Reddit. Basically socialists or commies; you can’t have an opinion. Such assholes

[@terramarini6880]

Why is everyone assuming she hadn't put the op on their side, hadn't checked once in a while, op certainly was in no shape to know. My husband did that crap several times and there is no way to move a grown unconscious human to change a bed I would have to throw a towel on it so he didn't roll in it and we'd deal with it in the morning. No one is a sphincter muscle here, op got caught off guard, wife got op home and in bed and probably did make sure it was safe, probably looked in every time she got up to pee, vomit may have happened after she retired for the night herself thinking op was settled and safe.

[@epicXtrollface]

*MARK, GET SOME REST, YOU DINGUS!* Your health, mentally and physically, is your number one priority. Nobody would ever blame you for taking some time off, however long that may be, to focus on yourself and the things and people around you. You don't owe us anything, and we are forever grateful to just have you around, even if it's not 24/7. Something extremely nice about this community is that it honestly kind of feels like a big family, and because of that, we care about you in that way, too. Don't ever feel guilty for missing an upload or two; don't overwork yourself. The last thing we want is for you to have a burnout. Take care. :)

[@louellacharlton4425]

Yes you are your first priority!

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

Precisely how I feel! I’m sure many of the Waffle Gang feel this way, too! We love you, Mark Narrations!!

[@foresttrees3128]

Wtf is wrong with the guy in the 3rd story. The way he talks about her "dead kid" is absolutely disgusting. She loved that baby and lost it. I hope he one day understands what it feels to loose something precious, that's the only way he'll learn how to be a decent human being.

[@EverlieS505]

Story 3: YTA Women don't become mothers after the birth of their child, they become mothers the day they become pregnant. They spend 9 months loving and caring for their child and creating a bond. My friends first child was stillborn and she and her husband still honor her birthday every year and would never act as if she never existed. ❤

[@t.matthies3049]

As long as the mourning isn't negatively impacted their other children (if they have them), and the aren't harming themselves, parents can mourn however they like for as long as they like. From what OP described, she's handling it reasonably well and is doing a good job of balancing remembering her child and other stuff (I'm assuming if there were any worse behaviours than described, OP would have mentioned it, and none of her behaviours seem unhealthy to me).

[@Monada79]

My so is like that with the 3 babies we lost. Does not want to talk about them and tells me I need to move on because I have 2 healthy daughters now. He doesn't get it. It's a culture thing. Even his siblings and his mum don't want to touch the subject and his mum has also suffered 3 miscarriages. The only person besides my brother in law's wife who actually asked if I was OK was her mum. Because she said she also lost a baby. Seriously I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, we need to raise awareness so we can get help to deal with the loss no be shamed into silence!

[@koolkittykat04]

How long ago did your friend have the stillbirth?

[@EverlieS505]

@@koolkittykat04 About 6 years ago

[@thedestroyasystem]

You are a mother the moment you see your fetus as your child. Then it becomes your baby. For some this is immediate, others it takes longer. Others, never. My mom didn't bond with me until months after I was born, but by then of ourse she was a mother lol. If a woman has carried a fetus that she sees as her baby, she is a mother. If she actually births the kid, there is even less of an excuse to claim she is not so.

[@MartaTarasiuk]

Story 2: NTA. I am shocked and appealed with the amount of YTA answers. Like... what? What kind of person doesn’t even check on their pass out family member and lets them lie in their own vomit for the entire night? And all those comments about OP deserving to die for drinking too much. Disgusting.

[@simonO712]

I know right? I know Reddit tends to be a bit biased at times, but that response was honestly shocking.

[@philwill0123]

Tbh, it was wife who had to deal with public embarrassment of a black out drunk, and getting him out of a restaurant and home. Then, OP tries to guilt-trip wife, when not addressing his behaviour. I would have lost my shit with OP too. Wouldnt be surprised if OP is severly editing his behaviour in this story.

[@MartaTarasiuk]

@@philwill0123 Deserving to be yelled at =/= deserving to die. If OP's wife resents her enough to let her sleep in her own vomit and not caring whether she lives or dies, then they must have much serious marital problems going on.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 2: I'm gonna go with NTA seeing as it's a first offence and an accident. Checking every now and again to make sure you don't DIE doesn't seem like that big of an ask to me. Be more careful, OP. Story 4: NTA. He should be on a list for walking around naked in front of kids. He's a leech and he takes advantage of everyone's kindness. You'd be stupid to set yourself to be used like that again.

[@izzlebizzle9581]

Story 2: NTA. It’s the first time that it happened in 20 years of them being together so I don’t understand why the wife is so blasé towards him. If it was a reoccurring event then yeah leave him be, he’s obviously used to getting himself into that state. But that’s not the case. If I were the wife, I would be checking in every half hour or so and would make sure there was a nice cold glass of water and a note to come find me when they’re awake so I can make him some hangover munch and laugh with him at how smashed he was

[@Koji-Alistair]

How sweet 😊😊😊

[@purpleiguana208]

"Mike, put your balls away." Quote of the Year.

[@dragolia1603]

time stamp?

[@purpleiguana208]

@@dragolia1603 18:11

[@dragolia1603]

@@purpleiguana208 thxs!

[@wickedgreen1784]

For the last story, the classic "Fool me once: shame on you. Fool me twice: shame on ME."

[@dune3001]

The 3rd story is heartbreaking....losing your child and then your husband telling you you are not a mother...that is unforgivable in my eyes. Such an appalling lack of empathy from this POS guy.

[@JootjeJ]

Note on a very drunk spouse / friend / family member from an event first responder: Tie a big lumpy knot in the back of their shirt before laying them down on their side, with the top leg bent at 90° angles. That way the bent leg stops them from rolling onto their stomach and the lump in their back stops them from rolling on their back and staying there. Easiest way to stop them from chocking on their vomit.

[@PrinceThomasART]

Hot take: Mark is cloning himself to get all this content out. It’s the only possible way.

[@werdpankuen9183]

hotter take, mark made a clone make him the clones so he can help his dad

[@PrinceThomasART]

valid take

[@-mokerly-5984]

Clones himself savvily with a waffle iron.

[@starxiaz]

Biggest YTA for the 3rd story. The amount of love I felt for my baby when I first saw him is incredible, I can't imagine losing him. She is a strong women, and I hope that she continues being strong.

[@direwolf8703]

That's 3 not 4

[@starxiaz]

@@direwolf8703 thanks for the correction

[@Acidfunkish]

My step dad finally went into a coma, on Saturday, and then passed away on Monday afternoon. 😔 Trying to remember to be thankful that he didn't suffer for long, at least. Cancer is TA.

[@FelineFosterFamily]

My Nanny passed away last year 😔 it’s very hard. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you are doing okay as you can be ❤️

[@Acidfunkish]

@@FelineFosterFamily Thank you. ❤️ Sorry about yours, as well. 😢 It definitely hurts, and I miss him, already, but... At least he doesn't have to suffer, anymore. He's free, now, in one manner or another. 👍🏻

[@FelineFosterFamily]

@@Acidfunkish ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

I'm so sorry for your loss 💔😢 Hugs and Prayers

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Yes! Cancer is the evil YTA.

[@siaskies1704]

Story 1: NTA. Can you imagine the absolute balls it takes to demand time from a dying man, much less one you crushed brutality? Story 3: YTA, I genuinely hope she leaves him, holy shit. What a monster.

[@Commenter839]

It's not AITA without a story on random people trying to guilt OP to house someone they don't want. Mike, put your balls away!

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: No one owes anyone closure or forgiveness. This applies to every situation. If she cared about OP, she wouldn't be pushing it. She's only doing it to feel less guilty. If she didn't want to live with the consequences, she wouldn't have cheated. That doesn't begin to get into tge famoly making some of his last time negative because she wants to feel less guilty.

[@MGP2210]

Story 04. OP was being a platonic simp for Mike.

[@riceracm]

*Story 3:* That husband is so grievously insensitive I am beside myself...it is _very_ clear that man has never experienced any kind of loss in his life...guys, I’m struggling here, that man is so hurtful I really can’t even fathom it...😧😡😒🤐

[@KE-hr4sb]

Story 1: NTA. She cheated and left/ended the relationship by doing so (even if he was the one to break up with her after finding out), which means she was the one that "closed it" by doing so. The only reason she's suddenly not "come to terms with it now" is because he's dying and she feels bad/guilty, but really it's just her (still) being selfish needing his acceptance of her apology. She's taken enough from him, and he wants to spend what time he has with happy thoughts and pixie dust.

[@snow2267]

Story 2: NTA This is obviously not something OP was trying to do on purpose. Mistakes happen, the safe thing to do is to allways put someone on theyre side. You needed a bit of help that evening and she just left, she should know it was something you didnt mean to do if it never happens. its not that hard to just put someome on theyre side and check on them ocasionally.

[@Kendy2337]

Story 1 NTA its your decision and you should not meet up with her

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

Story 4: I was actually a little freaked out because I thought I knew the guy in this post LMAO. Last year, we had a guy named Mike stay at our house and do pretty much the same thing. He ended up staying with a friend on their couch after we kicked him out. Insane.

[@JSainte17]

I don’t believe he was kicked out for being gay based on his track record. Bet he was kicked out for being lazy but needed to be a victim so someone else would take on the job of caring for a grown man.

[@songohan3321]

This story is like alot of them. Family and friends are telling OP to let him stay with him but they are not offering anything themselves. Why should OP be the sacrifice?

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

@@JSainte17 Probably both tbh. I've met people from where he lived and they are violently homophobic. He wasn't even an unpleasant guy, he just seemed to have zero idea how to live with other people. It was a really strange experience.

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

@@songohan3321 Definitely in the case of this story. With our Mike, we volunteered first, but it was a decision we started to regret a lot as days turned into months. I still wonder why his BF never picked him up, though.

[@smallblueangel]

Story 2: its the partners job to take care of eachother. So NTA

[@DaZebraffe]

For story 2: Very clear-cut NTA. When somebody's that drunk, they're basically like an over-sized toddler. They can't take care of themselves as effectively as they should be able to, because they're not at their full mental capacity. And all those people saying it's not the wife's responsibility? Bullshit! She agreed that it WAS her responsibility when she agreed to the "in sickness and health" part of the wedding vows! Just like it's OP's responsibility to take care of her if she's in a similar situation.

[@Koji-Alistair]

Exactly

[@MrMrSockhead]

Day: 91 of telling Mark that he is wonderful and deserves the world

[@tobybarnett7147]

Story 3: it doesn’t matter how old the baby was or how long the baby lived it probably hurts the same. She lost a CHILD she carried for nine months and birthed. She is a mother. Her baby didn’t live long but she’s still a mother. Total YTA I’d leave over that tbh

[@groofromtheup5719]

Sounds like the guy isn't capable of carrying around that much baggage. They should separate. He understandably has no attachment to someone he never met, and isn't comfortable around her constant grief. No, she's not going to just get over it, but he is not the emotional type to deal with it, with her constantly. There is a reason dead babies mess up marriages. It sucks all around.

[@songohan3321]

I am glad Reddit tore hom a new one. Looked through his comment history and he is a piece of work. From how he was commenting, he will never understand and is not trying to understand.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@songohan3321 like I said, they should separate. What you say agrees with my initial assumption. He isn't capable of the empathy she requires.

[@redditsloth7782]

Mark: "Say it with me guys, Mike put your balls away" bwhahahah

[@TheNormExperience]

Story 1 - NTA. This kind of closure is to make the EX feel better, NOT OP. Just because he’s got a nearer end date than her doesn’t mean he’s required to forgive someone he doesn’t want so. He’s already moved on and gone through it. It will do nothing but hurt OP...how rude for her to want to shove herself into this time when you need people surrounding you that care about YOU, not themselves!

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Story 3: OP is a HUGE AH! Speaking out of experience with premature babies, one of them being at 32 weeks, I can tell you how much I wanted nothing more than to get him home. My son is now 11, he's also my first born; can sure as bet I would have been just as devastated today if I lost him. I've also had miscarriage, and I sometimes wonder what if. OP needs to get a clue 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@tonidambrosia7436]

Story #3. Is anyone else grossed out about how OP refers to his wife's child as 'it'? That baby was a person and no one should be referred to so disrespectfully. He doesn't seem to have the empathy necessary to be a parent or even a pet parent. I know that someone in the comments said his wife needs therapy but I think he could also use it.

[@vickyflores8124]

They need a divorce, you should see his responses to the comments he's a fucking monster

[@pippo17173]

holy fucking shit man. The wife needs to leave him asap. Its already looking to be a horrible marriage here.

[@pippo17173]

@@vickyflores8124 Any examples? Curious how heartless he can be.

[@phoenixwaddell6093]

@@pippo17173 can you link the original post

[@Someone-or8tp]

For anyone that wants to see OP's awful comments... - apparently he thought that because the mother never took the baby home and it was born outside of the utero, the wife can't be considered a mother. Because she never took the child home she's not a mom. Even though the baby lived for 5 days in the hospital. - he referred to the baby as an it but stated the comments he knew the baby was a boy. Literally someone asked "Op - was the baby a boy or a girl?" and his response was: "It was a boy." not "HE was a boy". - he states in a comment that his wife is in therapy and that the therapist supports her behaviour. So basically he thinks he knows better than a lisenced professional and was encouraging her to drop helpful advice in favour of being a spiteful dickhead and was totally apathetic to her grieving process. - another person asked "Op do you even love your wife?????" And his response was: "Of course I do. That's why we're still married *despite this little hang up of hers* " Showing insensitivity to her situation and invalidating her grief. - he says "She's not a mother so unless she tells me she's pregnant, she won't be celebrating Mother's Day" In the same thread someone comments: "don't you mean 'unless she gets pregnant, carries the baby to term, gives birth and comes home with the baby', THEN she'll be celebrating Mother's Day? Or are you saying she's get to celebrate it while pregnant because the baby is yours?" OP's response was: "Bingo." - apparently in another comment he calls her trashy for getting pregnant as a teenager. - OP replied to a comment about a hypothetical where the commenter asked that if his own child died in the same way his wife's child died: "you would say you never had a kid?" His reply was as follows: "Yeah. Because I wouldn't have a kid. They'd be dead and its not a stranger's problem" - he states his issue is: "when she calls herself a mother when her kid was alive outside of the womb *for like 5 days before it died* " In the same comment he referred to his wife's kid's birthday as his "due date". He also deems that her visiting her kid's grave on his death anniversary and "due date" is "excessive". Notice how dismissive he sounds...

[@missluciddreams3472]

Story two: I disagree with the verdict on story two. NTA...OP slipped up once and his wife couldn't b bothered to check on him once or twice during the night. 😳

[@Speireata4]

About the story of the drunk husband: My first thought after the edit was that maybe somebody put something else in his drink, like a drug or something like that. I don't know why someone would do that, but if you never get that drunk and know your limit, there may be another reason why he blacked out.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Last story: all those saying OP 'has to take him back in' need to open their homes and let him move in. OP already put in her time and was massively taken advantage of by this idiot. OP is NTA and 'NO!' is a complete answer to this.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Mark please take care of yourself, it's ok to take a break from this. Do whats best for you please. Remember to do self care ok, don't work yourself to the bone.

[@debraluxford2793]

Much love to you Mark. There is no need to apologise when you need to take care of those you love.

[@Dawnmaxx1976]

Mark I just wanted to say good luck with your dad in bad health. I lost mine a year ago and it's been rough. Hope things go as good as they can for you both. Love and peace to all!

[@savageinkstudios2969]

Dead baby story- i seriously would have left that guy.

[@harrypotter2700]

Mark, please don’t overwork yourself because of us. If you need to take some time to breathe and focus on yourself then we’d all understand. You deserve to take it easy if you need to. Much love from the entire waffle gang!

[@feiruznoxravenus2093]

Listen to Harry Mark he got a point 😁

[@justjenny5437]

You thought you were sneak a video in on me when I thought there wasn’t gonna be one today... but BOOM! I was ready for it!! 💜💜💜

[@CL-lx2pm]

Ah yes, it's insensitive for the victim to not give the cheater her closure because she feels guilty that he's dying. Guilt over your own actions must be so much harder to cope with than being cheated on and dying. (/s)

[@simonO712]

_Wow_ people were callous for the second one. What, you live with someone for 20 years, they make _one_ mistake and now it's all on them whether they die or not when you can easily prevent it?

[@reinwolf534]

Story 2 is nta. She didn't really do the bare minimum. Everyone knows to check on a blacked out drunk every so often just in case. It's the first time in 20 years too. Sounds like she was hoping he would choke honestly and I would be worried about that

[@toothless3835]

No. Everyone doesn't know that because not everyone grew up with people who get black out drunk. Personally, Id have left him on the bathroom floor. My mom has left my dad on the bathroom floor when he's gotten stupid drunk because it's a safe place. Easy clean up. And he'll be fine in the morning. She might have checked in on him, I don't know, but I have never thought someone who's drunk would choke on their own vomit. That isn't a thing that would've ever crossed my mind.

[@kendallann4444]

Don’t apologize on busy days when the video comes late I immediately start to think about and pray for your dad. I hope all is well with you and him❤️

[@z0mb1egutzz]

Story 1: NTA. You want to know what is actually insensitive? Cheating on someone. She doesn't deserve fucking closure. Story 2: NTA, I feel like there is a certain responsibility in relationships. She doesn't have to baby you but she should make sure you're safe and not in pain. What if you did die? It sounds like she didn't care. Story 3: YTA. She has every fucking right to her body and her life, she had a child who fucking died. That isn't something you "get over" Story 4: NTA, especially since he is going out in a pandemic.

[@Josku2411]

Ok so Story 2 can't decide a judgement maybe ESH and like if someone has been to the point of black out drunkness i feel like almost any person would check up on them sleeping to make sure they keep on their side atleast personally i'd absolutely do that because well...i'd have it engraved in my head i mean i've checked up on random drunks at my job before no connection to them and also i have friends who were checking up on me multiple times(when i had a sudden surge of pain in my knee and hip so bad i couldn't walk and was in tears at a point) and i was fully concious and talking but they were still worried if i was handling it ok enough(for me not handling would have been if i couldn't have talked from the pain because that's when it's the point of it is fuckedup painfull) so i feel like it is a bit odd if she didn't check up on him occasionally even if she was annoyed at him

[@darkshadow5581]

I was thinking ESH to until i thought, " is 1 mistake in 20 ywars worth an AH title?" Some would say yes still, but thats the only reason i say NTA

[@Josku2411]

@@darkshadow5581 Hmm makes sense

[@志瑜杨]

Story 3- will be ex soon, for a good reason.

[@janmots2829]

Story 1: NTA, The commenters hit the nail on the head in that the ex is just being selfish to want her closure so she doesn't feel bad about what she did. I wish the OP all the best and send my warmest regards to his family.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@BRAINGUTZZ]

Do I have to say it again :)

[@jennilynne1977]

Peace, hugs and love to you. Thanks for posting this as often as you do.

[@TNTMAN360]

Always remember You don't fear the dark you merely fear what you cannot see but you can see so there is no fear

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@TNTMAN360 thank you for that ill keep that in mind 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@jennilynne1977 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@bokkanb8209]

Story 2: NTA. You messed up, and she got you home, that is taking care of you, she did alot. However, she had the right to be mad at you for causing her to have to do that for you. That's not a situation you should be putting your wife in. HOWEVER, these things do happen, and they are part of a partnership. I would be hurt if someone told me that too, as I'm sure they would be. Part of a good partnership is knowing that you have someone to rely on if something bad does happen. Please note, her actions were that of someone taking care of you, therefor she did what she should. You shouldn't expect someone to watch over you all night, if you need that kind of care, 911 should be called. BUT, getting you to bed, making sure you're not in danger of alcohol poisoning (to the best of her ability) and putting you on your side so you don't choke on your vomit, that's good care. However, it's her words and mindset that were hurtful, and you're right to be hurt by them, and perhaps be worried about your partner's mentality. All of the people in the comments telling you to grow up, that you're an adult, are mostly right, about the actions leading to you getting drunk. however, life happens, and if that's the case, perhaps you should grow up, and plan on being alone, because with that mentality, in many ways, you are.

[@florinaschilean6143]

1st story: NTA, ex is 100%. cheaters so selfish, they wouldn't let a man die in peace. she got her 'closure' when she let other d in her p. and his father and aunt, do they love him? 2nd story: ESH, not much but they both could have deal with the things better. The answer she gave to him is pretty cold. 3rd story: YTA, she was a mother even if for a short time. I am worried about her, i think she needs grief therapy because she seems to be stuck in that event, she won't be able to live a fulfilling life. Poor mother that had to bury her child! 4th story: NTA, and their talkative friends are TA, with Mike in the lead.

[@crystalmartinez6036]

I recently strum led across this Chanel and I love it! I’ve been having it in the back ground non stop bc aita are some of my favorite stories

[@gretchenmyers1279]

take all the time you need, we will all be here whenever you are. much love to you, your dad, and the whole family!

[@nobinary2296]

Hey, I am going against the grain for the drinking story. NTA. People never set out to get that drunk. The reason I know OP wasn't one of those? I have a family of alcoholics on my Mother's side of the family. We don't visit them much. I know what people like that act like, sound like, and text like. I happen to KNOW people who have nearly died from the situation OP describes. When you put on that ring you made a VOW. "In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer." Even if you didn't get married. It's common decency and morals. Victim blaming is still hot on he market I take it? He admits to only four times a year. He obviously didn't know his limit or maybe like that other person said. They underestimated a drink. They didn't space out the drinks. They didn't eat enough. But his wife was the only person able to look after him. 20 YEARS?! Is that how little you care for someone you know for 20 years? I grew up watching full blown adults getting drunk at CHILDREN'S birthday parties. Every holiday. Cook outs. Everything. When I was little even I knew it wasn't right. I watched cousins I had grown up with follow their example. Luckily my family moved away. Nor were we ever like them. They aren't bad people though it's just not a healthy way to live. I know people who have died from it. Drunk driving, dares gone wrong, stupid stunts, and choking on their own vomit. So I don't take this lightly. She made a VOW. OP has a right to be hurt. Imagine your SO saying that to YOU. Someone you have loved and cherished for 20 years. Don't make light of it. I hope OP sits down with her and explain how it made him feel.

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

I've said it before about stories like this, they only get in touch and "want to talk" to benefit themselves. It's all about drama and their own guilt. They're not sorry, they're not looking for forgiveness they only want to be able to brag about "we made up in the end, he gave me forgiveness and I'm so happy I could talk to him in his final moments" bragging bullshit. They're looking for a story to tell, not forgiveness.

[@indianspartan76]

Story 2: I'm willing to bet YTA wouldn't be the judgment if the genders were reversed

[@missalii4792]

As a woman, I really think it's NTA because hearing your partner for that many years just saying I don't care in this situation where you talk about your possible death is kind of frightening.

[@FelineFosterFamily]

@@missalii4792 plus it was a one off mistake! Really not that big of a deal to ask to help for the ONE NIGHT!

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Eh. As a women if my boyfriend did what op in that story did to me I wouldn't blame em. Like I would be kinda upset but I understand that not everyone wants to take care of a drunk person

[@AngelaMerici12]

I'm a woman. I don't drink. I hate drunk people. They are just expecting others to take care of them. I do think is an ESH because she should've checked on him. I personally hate purple that just can't stop.

[@blifefamilyadventures6994]

I agree

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Also....."Mike, put your balls away"....died laughing

[@Dan_Hazard]

So you Cheated....there that's it, that is Closure in itself, it's not like they ended it amicably they broke up after cheating so she needs to know that the closure she seeks is not an option so yeah NTA

[@fcold9402]

The baby existed. A child was born and died. If you have kids, yes, she will have one child that died and however many living children you will have. Her first born will always have died.

[@ekjamesable]

Ok I will admit story 3 actually did get to me. I went through the same thing 32 years ago, he lived 8 days. My husband, not the father of that child, when asked how many children we have always counts him as part of the family. For him that child is part of me and as we are one also a part of him. Just to say on his birthday and for the next 8 days after I am a little sensitive, even after 32 years my arms still ache for him. So yeah he's the AH

[@sammyk.6457]

Back in my financial management class my teacher says it’s not a very good idea to be roommates with your friends

[@bonniehuh]

18:13 - I loled. Bless Mark. He's a delight.

[@Gingerycarrotkitten]

Say it with me guys "Mike put your balls away" I am dead!!! LMFAO

[@santanachalais8884]

Don't need to apologize! Will be here for you no matter what just like you're here for us. I can't thank you enough for the peace you bring me daily~ much love Mark

[@wakeupchristians4836]

Unforgiveness is a cancer that destroys.. anyone who has unforgiveness can not be truly happy until they face that unforgiveness and truly let it go.

[@nerdy_evy]

Story 4: notice how his bf broke up with him after he moved in? That's not a coincidence. He was doing the same to his bf that he did to op

[@jgw5491]

Definitely. And everyone has a couch, right? So someone among those critics of OP can park poor Mike on their own couch.

[@zagorkupski9836]

In my experience of these videos and redit AITA stories in general most throwaway accounts tend to be a YTA verdict.

[@emibaka309]

Again commenting here what im doing while listening: Im just eating some traditional food called “Karjalan piirakka” and relaxing. Nice to hear stories ❤️ I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

Actually a very cute and nice comment 😊 Joining in: I was walking my Dog for the last time before going to bed (it’s late at night over here 🇳🇱👈) while drinking iced tea ^^ Also curious about the food (I like all kinds of food from around the world). Are google recipes good? Or did you order it? Have a nice day! 💜

[@emibaka309]

@@NewGothOnTheBlock ooh! I love dogs 🥺❤️ I have one too! She is mixed breed and adorable. I hope you had fun! Warning: Im going to ramble on for a moment. Karelian pastries are traditional Karelian food. My dads side of the family is Karelian which is a minority in Finland. His mom had to evacuate her home town during winter war because soviets attacked. Long story short: Finland had to give away basically the whole Karelian area and everyone had to escape as fast as they could. They never ended up getting their homes back and a lot of people basically lost everything due to that. My grandma from my dads side makes wonderful Karelian pastries and I attempted to make my own. The google recipe turned out fine but was missing that grandma feeling ya know? 😂 I definitely recommend making them if you want to try out! They are great for breakfast or snacks.

[@digitalharmony26]

“I didn’t expect her to clean up vomit.” Complaining that she didn’t clean up your vomit. What?

[@fhuber7507]

1... NTA. EX was a cheater. She knew why he didn't want to help her "get closure."

[@leaflet1686]

Me who has emotional ranges of a brick wall: Story 3 weeks is so cruel, you don't say that to a woman, who lost her baby... That is just cruel!

[@windowdev]

Hey Mark, just wanted to say that you were the only youtuber I have ever donated to, you always make my day and I am always happy to click on your videos and take a listen.

[@abigailhornibrook2470]

1st story, all else aside its very simple "I am married, meeting with an ex is inappropriate."

[@benry007]

Story 4: I've had a free loader like with me for a bit and it can be difficult getting rid of them when they have nowhere to go. That said you'd be an idiot to let them back in after you know their MO. I've also been in the position of staying at someones house for a few months and I couldn't imagine eating their food and being a layabout when someone is doing something so kind for you.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 1: NTA. She hurt him. She’s not entitled to forgiveness or closure just because she’s sorry. Also, why not before? Why now? It’s only because he’s dying. It should have come sooner

[@somedude685]

I think the comments in the second story are weird, around a month ago there was a story when OP’s wife got drunk with friends, and Op was not there and did not pick her up and bring her home, the comments called him a A hole, but now when Op blacked out and nearly chocked on his own vomit, the comments called him a A hole and said if they were the wife they would have left him at the bar. For me both story’s are nobody’s a Ahole

[@AngelaMerici12]

Cheaters are a very special kind of people. NTA. 🙄

[@DaZebraffe]

Story 3: YTA, not just for the reasons already listed, but also for not stopping to consider that somebody still grieving that hard an entire decade later is not normal and probably not very healthy, and suggesting therapy.

[@lizcatty9281]

Put ya bloody balls away Mike! Much love all! xo😘 💝🇦🇺

[@jeaniebee3657]

story one, that ex is gonna crash the funeral and make a scene please ban her from it ...blessings to the op and hugs to their loving wife and family

[@Droptheworldghost]

Thank you so much for the video upload Mark you're a National Treasure

[@snowflake-lord8872]

I always love listening to your videos while doing art

[@novabrilliant4510]

Listening while I make a chocolate cake. Thanks for the video Mark. Hugs to you and your Dad.

[@scousemouse9566]

Don't worry about being late to upload, you have a lot on at the mo, take care of you, we will still be here. Love ya Mark

[@beckyhartley9502]

"Dad's dog" *Time to pay the pupper tax*

[@louellacharlton4425]

Stay healthy and safe Mark!!

[@queencars802]

This one really ticks me off. When I had my son he got pneumonia. Every time I fed him at just about 10 min on the dot he'd turn purple and start screaming. I was terrified to feed him, not even bringing in the heartbreak of attempting to breastfeed and having a mental breakdown thinking I was a terrible mother that couldnt even feed her child. Multiple nurses that saw it said it was normal, I may of been a first time mom but even I knew a newborn turning purple wasnt normal. Finally an experienced nurse saw it and whisked him away for tests. This was only about 24 hours after he was born. They didnt tell me anything for almost 8 hours, I couldnt see him or anything! Finally a nurse came in with forms for me to sign, he had pneumonia and had to be transferred to the big hospital 5 towns away. The kicker? Even tho I had severe bloodloss they couldn't transfer me too so wanted me to stay there while my baby went to the other. I signed myself out immediately and we went down. Tried getting the ER to admit me, they wouldn't. Tried to get the maternity ward to admit me, they wouldn't. I had to drive down there for 5 days just to see my baby. Seeing him in the NICU hooked to multiple tubes and machines, seeing the multiple marks on his tiny arms and legs from IV lines, best yet having the nurses refuse to give him my breastmilk so I couldnt even do that! Finally I collapsed going to the doctors and they had to admit me for an IV saying I need to stay. I refused but luckily since it had already been so many days the big hospital admitted me so I could stay with my son out of the NICU. As if being a new mom isnt hard enough having the nurses come in every 30 or so minutes to check on him, dealing with the stress of not having my bf with me, and being in a hospital far away from family and friends? The whole situation was a mess and one of the traumatic and emotionally draining situations I've ever been through. I was lucky enough to have my son recover, I couldn't even think what if he didnt make it. To go through all that just to lose him? The fact her BF would even THINK its okay to say any of that is bs and totally insensitive