r/Comedyheaven | QUAGMIRE TOILET

[@yinyang1217]

Comedy heaven: If my funeral is happening at all, I ain't coming.

[@DarwinskiYT]

Ehh ehh my head hurts

[@mash3519]

I mean you’re gonna have to bud

[@punchyboi6915]

*Big brain time*

[@isssandwich391]

Ay, it’s your choice bud. Nobody ain’t gonna do a atom about it.

[@gagne6928]

you are addicted to crack

[@ogzephyr4166]

No one: Damien: “Starkingly”

[@KC-zc8ic]

OG Zephyr I want to die

[@shadowlikesbeans2765]

Stonks?

[@deviltriggers]

@Cupcake Gaming starks

[@aidangeraci9377]

Mr starkingly I dont feel so good

[@star_the_silly_real]

Ok

[@starryskies8445]

I want merch that says ‘they’re earbuds, damien’

[@kaydwessie296]

Same

[@kingpanguan]

Banana clock

[@korrinnie3847]

I want merch that says "emkay is a pro-bullying channel"

[@CardZed]

@@korrinnie3847 i want merch that says *"KONO DIO DA"*

[@averybatten2803]

I want merch that says *BONK*

[@bebobabooo268]

My name is Mark, with a c Starbucks employee: *C A R K*

[@gremlinteddy]

Juliette Zhang c L a Rk

[@ECWPlays]

When Mark with a c is dead Carkcus

[@ECWPlays]

@talha syed Carkcus

[@AbsoluteGeezer12]

Cark Curk Cumk Cum :O

[@blueinrealm65]

Carl with a K:

[@viomire9513]

"They call me short, I called Them An ambulance" Me, thinking the kid yells ; "YOU ARE AN AMBULANCE"

[@zoroarkdx4491]

Cark: *Posts When Cereal Has Milk meme.* *CallMeCarson wants to know your location.*

[@digi_edits]

Ikr?

[@TheeNero]

@@digi_edits That's.....not the proper use to ikr

[@MohammedSalman-gt7hw]

@@TheeNero ikr?!?!?!?!

[@MohammedSalman-gt7hw]

@Crimson Conflagration ikr ikr iKr IKR!!!!

[@prudylanuzajr4095]

@@MohammedSalman-gt7hw ikr

[@Xavocolypse]

The “Cereal when haves milk” meme was made By CallMeCarson

[@Cross42069]

Yup

[@bryanl6828]

@Juan Cortez Muro no

[@happyt_rex7897]

C

[@happyt_rex7897]

R

[@happyt_rex7897]

A

[@Talia_Foxx]

4:57 "Econony" in Comic Sans over a picture of Obama is the single most SBAHJ thing I have ever seen.

[@djsinister1216]

Because it is SBaHJ

[@XxXThiccoModeXxX]

@@djsinister1216 THE SOCK RUSE... WAS A DISTRACTION....

[@basilisk4848]

@@XxXThiccoModeXxX IT KEEPS HAPPENING

[@kvzu8543]

"Those eyes have seen more, they've seen war." *_intro song starts playing._*

[@CalamityTerra]

*Việt Nam war flashback*

[@realdeadlyyarns7302]

lol

[@arctohru]

Emkay the anime

[@urielseptim910]

They've seen r/vaxxhappened

[@wiktormusialik]

Do you know the channel

[@MINECRAFTGAMER-oy3yr]

No one: Nobody: Not a single soul: Quagmire: *TOILET*

[@star_the_silly_real]

Ok

[@wiliamenz966]

69 likes bro congrats

[@trafficracer124]

Condom

[@evildrkirby]

"I love Five Guys!" Damien: "This brings back horrible memories." Most people: "Haha, it's the white chick and black guys meme." Me: "Siddown son, ah'll tell yah the story. It all started in late 2014..."

[@cheese_inspector]

Yes

[@tarrenr8159]

Can someone explain the white chick and black guys meme? I think I know maybe kinda what it means, but I'd really like someone to explain it

[@blehh_mae]

@@tarrenr8159 its a sex/rape/orgy joke

[@blehh_mae]

isnt this,also the cannibalism joke

[@RaighBlack]

69 likes nice

[@cricket1289]

1:53 Callmecarson: laughs in gamer

[@shiruko_1647]

Cricket lmao I was hoping someone would mention this 😂

[@midnightgamer2158]

**Laughs in Bowser**

[@eco8988]

Carson’s “Cereal when no milk” meme is becoming popular now. I’m so proud of him 😔

[@emiloliosos5606]

Cereal when no milk, cereal when haves milk.

[@clydearnold1931]

*_Cereal when haves milk_*

[@thanospope704]

He clearly likes it!!

[@mehjustf2218]

CallmeCarkson

[@nuc5042]

Not so proud now.

[@ArcticArca]

r/Emkay: *exists* People with pets: It’s free real estate

[@West_Coast_Mainline]

Help the fbi is here

[@gluk8838]

* sounds of war and death * Damien: *jazz music continues*

[@littlepotato5525]

Me: looks at thumb nail. Lord forgive me for what I'm about to do. Giggity.

[@luvely1062]

Sigh *puts on heels and unzips pants*

[@XerneX127]

Please don't

[@fitnessgrampacertestmoment]

@UwU okay thats to mutch

[@franbacak7025]

Oh god,NO! PLEASE NO!

[@Cheezebox725]

Little Potato ah yes, thumb nail.

[@karatesan2120]

Comedy heaven: *Hi, welcome to Emkay Gaming*

[@Narthvader.]

@s3w3w pu3s r/youngpeopleyoutube

[@alexp5569]

@@Narthvader. I don't think you get it.

[@65v]

@@Narthvader. erm don't think ya get it

[@Narthvader.]

@@65v i do but im saying it cuz the guy who said it told it to soneone thatbaint a girk sooo ye

[@65v]

@@Narthvader. that baint a girt?

[@Subpewds-kb9ku]

that is not “kark” it’s “Mark with a c”

[@lyonking1820]

Lol

[@greatooglymoogly]

Cark?

[@Wonderfullism]

@@greatooglymoogly no, its marc

[@amberstar2832]

...are you serious right now? Please tell me you actually get the joke.

[@booty_hunter4207]

@@amberstar2832 dude, *you* dont get it

[@milanakik1539]

Damien: It's the ocean, there is no parking for anybody. Titanic: Am I a joke to you?

[@Superchicken_36]

7:20 Emkay: we must censor porn so we don't get demonetized! Also Emkay: *says it out loud*

[@foxicecube]

Its called *loopholes* All millionaires ans billionaires use it

[@goldencobra9781]

the middle isle at Aldis at least in the uk is full of random items so its common that people go in wanting dinner and come out with a whole new set of cutlery and a lawn chair.

[@codster76]

Can confirm that it's the same in australia as well.

[@mrmeatman9948]

Same here in the States.

[@mfree80286]

Wonder where they're getting their recipes for lawn chair, seems like it would be impossibly tough and stringy...

[@Jenner_IIC]

Some shops in Poland got that too, middle aisle is often dedicated dedicated to whatever tat they had in the magazines.

[@Karmy.]

Yup

[@chiccornsstuff]

"CONVERT your CAR into a FERRARI with this Invention" the thumbnail is someone sticking a pringles can to the back of a car

[@ghostie-8089]

A man is on trail for cannibism He looks at the jury and says "If you are what you eat than I am an innocent man"

[@TheMythicalFireChicken]

I feel disturbed by this comment

[@ghostie-8089]

@@TheMythicalFireChicken :)

[@girlysoap9031]

I always knew I was a cute baby

[@wellyesbutactuallyno3366]

princess larry wait that has nothing to do with thi- OH GOD NO

[@ghostie-8089]

@@wellyesbutactuallyno3366 OH GOD YES!

[@FewVidsJustComments]

0:54 peach: "Mario you have some explaining to do!" mario: "mama-mia!"

[@aradiati0n]

4:57 i literally screamed when the sweet bro and hella jeff obama popped up

[@mitsuadia7809]

hi rosw lalondw

[@XxXThiccoModeXxX]

@@mitsuadia7809 hello twisted siblings

[@creekunderscore]

Emkay: *laughs* [Everyone liked that]

[@dylancline721]

Star Struck silence furry

[@thereal_SEV]

OwOh no it's you again, I can never forget those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes Cause baby tonight, the creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff again Cause baby tonight, you grab your pick shovel and bolt again, bolt again, gain And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn' Cause baby tonight, the creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff again, stuff again, gain Just when you think you're safe, over here some hissing from right behind, right, right behind That's a nice life you have, shame it's got to end at this time, time, time, time, time, time, time Blows up, and your health bar drops and you could use a 1-up Get inside don't be tardy So now you're stuck in there, half a heart is left but don't die, die, die, die, die, die Cause baby tonight, the creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff again Cause baby tonight, grab your pick shovel and bolt again, bolt again, gain And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn' Cause baby tonight, the creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff again, stuff again, gain [CaptainSparklez:] Ha, Creepers, ya mine Dig up diamonds, craft those diamonds, make some armor Get it baby, go and forge that like you so, mlg pro The sword's made of diamonds, so come at me bro Ha, training in your room under the torch light Hone that form to get you ready for the big fight Every single day in the whole night Creeper's out prowlin', (Whoo), alright Look at me, look at you Take my revenge that's what I'm gonna do I'm a warrior baby, what else is new And my blade's gonna tear through you [CaptainSparkles, TryHardNinja:] Bring it Cause baby tonight, the creeper's tryin' to steal all your stuff again (Get your Stuff) Yea, let's take back the world Yea baby tonight, grab your sword armor and go (It's on) Take your revenge (Whoo) Ohh so fight, fight, like it's the last, last night of your life, life show them your bite (Whoo) [TryHardNinja:] Cause baby tonight, the creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff again Cause baby tonight, grab your pick shovel and bolt again, bolt again, gain And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn' Cause baby tonight, the creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff again, stuff again, gain

[@barbarianblades8154]

@Juan Cortez Muro not funny did not laugh

[@GhostSwiss]

@Juan Cortez Muro JESUS, can U SHUT UP

[@splattim3180]

Quagmire Toilet totally sounds like a top text bottom text meme

[@mushroomboar4299]

Splat Tim Splat Tim

[@Rabbitstarman]

[WUT] member here

[@midnightgamer2158]

Quagmire Toilet Bottom Text

[@batgh0ul]

I think the "Chipmunk version" was the Nightcore of 2005 .-.

[@roxassora2706]

2005*

[@batgh0ul]

@@roxassora2706 fair enough- 2005 it is

[@taylorbritt499]

Ye

[@BinglesP]

I just realized "I Peel Good" is a pun on "I feel good" and not just some out-of-touch Engrish

[@nonyabisness6319]

Damien: you're a eraser you don't need to be here Australians: (Laughs in ooɹɐƃuɐʞ)

[@jorrynchui]

Nonya Bisness I see kangaroo is upside down

[@painfulguess9429]

how the hell-

[@emiloliosos5606]

Shh

[@Prism-Dragons]

how tf.......you know what never mind

[@the711devin4]

Carson’s image on Emkay’s server on r/comedyheaven? This is the ultimate crossover

[@minayeonni670]

omg yes

[@thebananarepublic7255]

Love the profile pic

[@kirkt3970]

We need an r/ultimatecrossover

[@tiky5393]

The 711Devin hank?

[@barbarianblades8154]

@Juan Cortez Muro stop this this is not funny

[@beanmann000]

7:57 The middle aisles are usually where all the unhealthy foods are.

[@adrew3267]

Anyone recognize Banana as Matt from Supermega’s cat and that Ryan just has his contact under “My Wife’s Boyfriend”

[@v_maex]

jsjdjs yeah

[@kingapollo886]

Alex Drewello yes! thank god someone else did

[@vortex-7225]

8:38 I literally got a i peel good ad before this picture

[@Lizabeth.5951]

I was a bit tired, so I took a nap and this made me smile while I drifted off. Thank you EmKay :) I wouldn’t have done it without you

[@MidnightGamingAllGaming]

I'm here to say that Carson made the when cereal has no milk

[@HellF1re24]

Yes

[@gagne6928]

Yes

[@auguslan1515]

Yes

[@spiritokami2969]

Yes

[@barbarianblades8154]

@Juan Cortez Muro not funny did not laugh

[@suborgtfo.4433]

_Right here Peter_ _ _Quagmire : 2019_

[@thereal_SEV]

Nice

[@Amfunee17]

Nice

[@StupidlyAnxious]

Nice

[@achilles-_-9808]

Nice

[@theslimiestsnailinthesouth]

Nice.

[@ulquiorraamv759]

0:18 Anybody else think this seems like a joke Matt Watson would make? Everything about it lines up a little too perfectly.

[@jam_l99]

Its totally Matt

[@ulquiorraamv759]

@@jam_l99 Right? The orange cat named Banana with the joke of "my wife's boyfriend". That's one of his favorite jokes to make.

[@darksongoftheshadows9263]

I can't believe more people haven't commented about it lmao

[@barbarianblades8154]

@Juan Cortez Muro you gay

[@Pyro-et9vs]

1:00 cheetah ready to attack and destroy “Um, chief, thats not a cheetah” *thats a leopard*

[@midnightgamer2158]

Lol

[@RedKobalt]

He should switch his Joe Swanson voice to Kronk from Emperors New Groove. It's so close to it that I sometimes think he's actually imitating him until he makes a Family Guy joke. There could be so many "Logically it makes no sense" and "poison for Kuzko, Kuzko's poison" jokes.

[@harlzgpro8603]

EmKay when he shows the first meme *Jazz music stops*

[@kitkatty52211]

When you actually have "i peel good" on your phone...

[@auguslan1515]

Peelsgoodman

[@ClingyCrab]

Peelsbadman

[@Eternal_Tardis]

I don't peel so good

[@Ben-tg6ov]

@@npc6817 Nope even better, it's a bot advertising an unfunny Instagram meme compilation.

[@npc6817]

@@Ben-tg6ov great, I cant break his legs. guess I am going to remove all annotations and indentations from his code and make it unreadable then

[@SabertoothDeathmouse]

I think Damien accidently read comedycemetery instead of comedyheaven.

[@Intrspace]

Same, I don't get how are these supposed to be funny

[@stardy8131]

This joke is so bad its funny

[@funnymeme1847]

The jokes are so bad that they’re good.

[@thechadsoutherner3155]

Yea

[@tidepodpadthai2633]

@@Intrspace I thought some of them were funny

[@Lime.7242]

2:14 that was the soulless "bruh" i ever heard

[@midnightgamer2158]

Lol B r a h

[@RedKnightBuh]

Son: Dad I’m hungry. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m dad. [5 years later] Dad: Son call me an ambulance, I’m dying. Son: Hi ambulance, I’m dying, I am son. Dad: Touché...

[@zainewolford3995]

nobody: emkay at 2:16:*the most high pitch brah in the universe*

[@BeatlezJuiceB3aTlezCircl3JeRk]

(4:21) Damien: "You know Oliver Tree?-" *S C O O T S O U N D S*

[@carbonphantom1]

Callmecarson clout with that cereal when haves milk. Emkay: you're demoted cark

[@applesthecat]

11:33 the hero we didn’t know we needed

[@funkyfish7153]

"His eyes have seen torture and pain from The War™"

[@kimishou]

Oh no, we lost damien to the ad littered games.

[@asurashun9695]

3:39 now the spray and pray prestige mission is literally Impossible to complete

[@Sillymoment910]

Emkay: *mentions I Peel Good* Me: *sweats and looks at phone* I'm playing that right now.....

[@highbloodpressure2476]

6:38 It's ALWAYS, ALWAYS gotta be a guy called Dimitri. Always. XD

[@speedyspeed8178]

Quagmire is honestly a legend for doing that

[@midnightgamer2158]

Lol

[@sinandcyanide7505]

The middle aisle at Walmart has all kinds of random seasonal and sale items. You can get lost in there.

[@anele0822]

“I wish people would refer to age as levels. Being level 43 sounds a lot cooler than being an old man.” “My son died at level 4” “Noob” Edit: yes I did take this, stop bothering me pls

[@ZackSantiago]

Im saving this just in case r/cursedcomedy starts to exist

[@abdouxdabico615]

My parents had to level me up to lvl 18 till i can play by myself

[@ryodwun]

Stolen

[@whynot4921]

@@ryodwun that's why there are quotation marks

[@barbarianblades8154]

@Juan Cortez Muro 😂😂😂 so funny

[@bloodrose7587]

Damien saying, "I'm baby" is pretty much as great as my life is going to get, I'm sure

[@meulinleijon4974]

Wow, thanks Emkay. That, "I'm baby," made me shoot Pepsi out of my nose.

[@Dementia_Springtrap]

I Was Watching The Video When It Got To: “Is That?-“ *Buckley’s Ad*

[@BasementBoyStudiosGaming]

I legit just pronounced comedy "quamedy," well imma get my caffeine now. XD

[@yagirl177]

Crash nobody asked

[@kingslayersshallrise1440]

@@yagirl177 nobody asked

[@yagirl177]

kingslayers shall rise exactly, thank you for agreeing with me :)

[@kingslayersshallrise1440]

@@yagirl177 you're welcome

[@yagirl177]

@Brent Peterson good one

[@Soda_Drunka]

Damien: 1:43 Me, a Carson fan: Sure my super hot Cheeto

[@y0lmz]

Me, a fan of watching price is right weird internet edition.

[@jellsies]

DELICIOUS PANCAKES

[@Rabbitstarman]

y e s

[@daxsyntax]

When people make a meme about KZbin being drunk *i have achieved comedy*

[@Euoplocephalus]

Nobody:

[@kono9509]

When people make unoriginal last time i was this early joker ｉ ｈａｖｅ ａｃｈｉｅｖｅｄ ｕｌｔｉｍａｔｅ ｃｏｍ ｅｄｙ

[@plebisMaximus]

@@kono9509 comody lol

[@auguslan1515]

When people make 69/420 jokes *I h a v e a c h i e v e d n i c e*

[@barbarianblades8154]

@Juan Cortez Muro nah

[@TheGreatHalberd]

In-app purchases: exist (literally everywhere in-fact) Damien: *visibly impressed despite it being on every mobile app out there that's free*

[@benayakuntaadjie1051]

9:55 FINALLY, a toilet I can sh*t at

[@jupiterscallie]

Haven't had fight or flight from seeing homestuck in an unexpected place for a while. Thanks, image of Obama saying 'econony' from SBAHJ

[@shinypie1111]

Juan Cortez Muro Stop advertising on another guy’s video

[@barbarianblades8154]

@Juan Cortez Muro stop it get some help

[@buissnesscat5735]

Ive seen multiple ads for i peel good and they missed thr chance to say "I peeeel good" to the tune of the song i feel good

[@afnzz]

When Damien Said "Bruh" That hit me

[@SSukibug]

Not funny

[@top2not2___]

6:36 as an 11 year old that loves linkin park i approve this

[@5-1-2ricers9]

Everyone at my funeral gets a stun gun and the last one standing gets all my s**t.

[@luden13]

9:58 made me laugh more than it should've of

[@chekinemi951]

1:52 I will not stand for this! This is Call me Carson’s meme

[@the-cv3kg]

2:09 why did my post end up on r/comedyheaven

[@KestrelDC]

The Mario one is actually adorable and the total epitome of the weir-but-also-wholesome elements of the internet lmao

[@Aspen72]

3:28 WHY DID I LAUGH AT THIS

[@justagirlconstantlychangin7134]

No one: Absolutely nobody: Damien: People: Me: Everybody:

[@Some_Shark]

No one: Damien:QUAGMIRE TOILET

[@eve6528]

"ayo" Damien: *Dying sounds*

[@gitgud6361]

I’m on a quest to put “poggers” on every video I watch from now on. So, thus... P O G G E R S

[@jonnydjackson]

The middle aisle in Aldi is where they put the random limited run items. Once week there could be craft supplies, the next week there could be garden furniture. You never know until you go

[@quantumblauthor7300]

[has been doing the J. Jonah Jameson laugh his whole KZbin career] "I can't do the laugh"

[@mrmeatman9948]

_bruh I was gonna comment this_

[@quantumblauthor7300]

@@mrmeatman9948 git gud

[@gnomegguy69]

"The sad" By da vinki

[@nidhalsormali3051]

"To err" "Color of firetruck"

[@thenazigamer6938]

Bruh Damien is the one thing holding my depression back. Its that one meme where there are weapons, someone shilding this one girl. The girl is me the person shileding me is Damien, and the weapons are my depression, anxiety, my addiction to listening to Linkin Park on top volume so loud that no one cn hear my screaming and crying and begging for the insane numbness and emptiness to stop, my sleeping roblems, my socail anxiety. Thanks m8

[@jacksongrantham4848]

11:37 Garp! What the hell are you doing!? I thought Akainu had sent you to the new world!

[@wellyesbutactuallyno3366]

I changed this comment

[@aidendean9375]

Moskou moskou moskou

[@chunkiegreenhunkieslugmanm3041]

FDWAEGYUHHBBNNJIOOKKJTWS

[@cynniethia]

Wait This isn’t meme review 😭😭

[@luvely1062]

I'm so late I dont get the joke

[@____3243]

🍞

[@Jinnox]

We may have seen Quagmire toilet but just wait for Obama to find out his last name

[@DiAna-ft8qs]

He is in the comments, I asked him allready

[@DiAna-ft8qs]

Btw idc about your name

[@keeleymcmanmon]

Me when I realized that theo killed himself for miles: HELL YEAH

[@seatbelt05]

"No your full bodi pig" Emkay: *EXTREME OINK*

[@midnightgamer2158]

Lol

[@lb21a]

Me at 1 a.m with my brightness at minimum: ugh, my brightness is too high

[@twitchymgitchy9587]

Thumbnail of this video: *exists* Me: WhEn ThE wEeD wOrKs ToO wElL

[@katherinewilliamson9125]

callmecarson originally made that "cereal when no milk" meme edit: why are people liking this its literally just me being a youtube nerd please stop

[@somerandomguywithatelescop2273]

no i won't stop

[@dawidkrzyczkowski4289]

I am a nerd myself so stop me

[@anactualotter6216]

nO i WoN't

[@joelthemetalhead9444]

I L L N E V E R S T O P L I K I N G

[@Volupir]

@@joelthemetalhead9444 I usually stop liking after i like that can't only be me

[@hunterj8530]

Callmecarsons milk meme that took him a whole 30 seconds

[@ameliacarlson5580]

5:09 the pigeon is referring to that one meme “the birds work for the bourgeoisie”

[@MeteoraZero]

No. The joke is that he is useless

[@arithespacenerd4739]

4:20 DUDE DID YOU JUST FRUCKING SAY OLIVER TREE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

[@DHAdArchivez]

"Don't have a bookmark? try Using Chex Mix instead" *N O*

[@obama9125]

please talk in my voice for a whole video it’s really good

[@DiAna-ft8qs]

Wahts your last name?

[@garbonator]

@@DiAna-ft8qs I think Joe knows

[@garbonator]

@@jowellhernandez8444 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@mahmedhosam1895]

@@garbonator Holy shit you fucking about to kill him dude

[@ailinmcgee1743]

@@jowellhernandez8444 never ask who joe is.

[@blah_blah81]

The snow is snowier here. -Mojang 2019

[@kdpincushion]

14

[@katty6983]

Ur the first skeppy fan i found on here

[@minecraftplayer6557]

We recently learned about Greta and i know its bad i find this funny but the way she says "HOW DARE YOU" in the interview video is hilarious

[@idcgaming518]

7:56 it's because the middle aisle, also known as the 'power aisle' is where all the best deals and promotions are. This is done so that people's impulses take over and they buy what they do not need.