r/HFY TFOS# 573 - The Sol Solution by ack1308 (Hfy Sci-Fi Reddit Stories)

[@Renegadebane]

Command: "Total War is authorized" Human soldiers: *lights joint wrapped in the Geneva convention* "hail to the king, baby"

[@KertaDrake]

Human 1: "Napalm in the morning?" Human 2: "Napalm in the morning." Both Humans: "Smells like victory."

[@donaldscholand4617]

Aliens: "No diplomacy!" Humans: "So ... you have chosen Death!"

[@TheJMPD]

They should have chosen cake.

[@Jason-sm4oc]

Human: "Diplomacy?" Draxian: "No diplomacy!" Draxian: "Why do I hear boss music?"

[@AgroSquerril]

brown pants time

[@hollyferay8131]

Haha

[@sans_theskeleton]

I have another question, do you wanna have a bad time?

[@danielwols]

@@hollyferay8131 it has a translation to English, the translation simply stating lol

[@CT-1035]

The negotiations were short

[@BrandonKing.]

There is a reason we layout Terms of War between factions. It is not to protect us from you, it is to protect You from us.

[@robertbemis9800]

Solians say: so you like to war? Let’s teach you why war is a bad thing Zeno say: why did I just Defecate ?

[@AgroSquerril]

bring me my brown pants!

[@dantreadwell7421]

It's called "Agressive Negotiations". War is simply diplomacy through alternate means.

[@AgroSquerril]

that it is

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

Star wars episode 2 refference?

[@greenrena8503]

@@veryangryduckpl2122 Carl von Clausewitz: "On War", if I remember correctly.

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

@@greenrena8503 Facepalms* You call this diplomatic solution? No, these are aggresive negotiations.

[@calvingreene90]

The answer to the last question is, "Made sure it is a very long time before another aggressor fails to respond properly to a harshly written note."

[@StarboyXL9]

SOLution has SOL in it. There are no mistakes.

[@Caldoric]

I was gonna say...

[@darth_dan8886]

The four words every alien diplomat or military official will regret ever saying to a human: "By any means necessary".

[@AgroSquerril]

run ruuuuuuuuuuuun

[@mr.k4918]

we launched nuclear ramjet missiles carrying MIRVs at the enemy didnt we? (edit plural it wasn't just one missile we launched a few hundred)

[@KertaDrake]

@@mr.k4918 And they are lucky we didn't feel like taking the effort to load up half the final stages with bioweapons and antimatter instead of the good ol' reliable plutonium that day.

[@mr.k4918]

@@KertaDrake i mean whats the point of bio weapons when the exaust from one missile alone is gonna spread enough fallout to contaminate half the planet?

[@mattbrown5511]

Unleash the Dogs of War!

[@firatsanliturk]

If force is not solving your issues, you're not using enough of it.

[@Sen81222]

So a dog an ape and a human walk into an office... that sounds like the start of a joke

[@prisoner6266]

The punchline is guaranteed to have the room explode into paroxysms of laughter

[@robertbemis9800]

Why no kitty kitties?

[@vincentvalashu]

@@robertbemis9800 They couldn't be arsed. Why send assassins for a pack animal meeting?

[@Sumzja]

So we elevated dogs and apes to sapience because we wanted friends?

[@robertbemis9800]

@@Sumzja yes we would

[@Velshard]

I love that the Terran Envoy consists of Dogman, Manman, and Gorillaman.

[@chrisdefresne3235]

Just to be sure here, ANY means necessary? *A few minutes of repeated confirmation later* Hey Hanz, get the flammenwaffer 9000. Also, charge up the BFG 10,000. The Space UN told us to do anything necessary to win.

[@Sentientcap]

Speek softly and Carry superior fire power.

[@AgroSquerril]

seems like a good idea

[@anthonymedina9425]

Speak softly and carry the biggest BOOM stick

[@dantreadwell7421]

Peace through Superior Firepower.

[@patricklechtenberg3173]

No problem can't be solved with sufficient application of high explosive

[@seiboldtadelbertsmiter3735]

Speak softly and carry a big stick. (Theodore Roosevelt).

[@stalwartteakettlepotato9879]

Fun fact, "Blitzkrieg" is a made up term mostly used for propaganda purposes. The actual military term for such a doctrine is Bewegungskrieg which translates into "war of movement".

[@N1korasu]

Lightning War sounds cooler though

[@dantreadwell7421]

Hence propaganda.

[@angrydragonslayer]

Nerd

[@lordpfeiffer8490]

BlitzKrieg was what the usa offical called the german war of movement. as well hitler himself refer to it as blitzkreig and acutally didn't like the older name for it which is Bewegungskrieg. Because it wasn't catchy enough. And forced his generals to use the word Blitzkrieg when dealing with him.

[@angrydragonslayer]

@@lordpfeiffer8490 NERRRRRRDDDDD

[@ArchonSG1]

The Sol Delegation are missing Catgirls. You need Catgirl liasons / secretaries dammit.

[@MournfulTyrant]

Catssassins.

[@garysprandel1817]

The kitties are more comfortable with the black ops wet works stuff not so much diplomacy. Well diplomacy that isn't the sitting somewhere up to a mile away with a rifle, scope and spotter kind.

[@neorandomizer]

Good old gun boat diplomacy

[@hollyferay8131]

Never .... EVER give cart blanc to the beings who are the masters of war to resolve a situation.

[@Gilhelmi]

Xeno leader: We........ We didn't know......... How could we have known? They have always been so peaceful....... How? How?.................... Why didn't I ask more questions? I should have asked me questions. (Excerpt taken from the psychologist notes after his mental breakdown.)

[@KertaDrake]

@@Gilhelmi "How could we have known that they had been stockpiling nuclear weapons by the tens of thousands every year since they made their homeworld a radioactive wasteland, let alone design their entire military force around using them all in an alpha strike?!"

[@Madesic]

Don't normally comment but this has to be my favourite hfy story I've heard, great narration too!

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@kellyknowsdayway6517]

​@AgroSquerril is there more?

[@Inufan2005]

Terrans gonna Terran.

[@GuukanKitsune]

The reason Sol Natives are so good at diplomacy, is because they are far, far, FAR better at war... and so they developed their diplomatic skills to match to avoid war by speaking first. Because no Sol natives WANT a war with other Sol natives. They know how terrible they are. The last big Sol Native war cost them their homeworld.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

Diplomacy, with full phaser banks and all torpedoes loaded.

[@warrmalaski8570]

Do it our way or else. Is the very foundation of diplomacy. The or else can be military, economic, or cultural.

[@budpope2790]

Off to engage in humanity's favorite psss time, blowing shit up...

[@AgroSquerril]

kaboom

[@OooXxx-ol4vi]

We all like the kaboom

[@calvingreene90]

Humans make peace because we are very good at war.

[@badjer4328]

Man I hope we get better at diplomacy before our planet becomes a radioactive wasteland

[@williambarnes5023]

I'll settle for being on Mars when it happens. There's a lot of Earth governments that need to go.

[@mechadrake]

in 2022: welp...

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@LaughingD3mon]

March on for the algorithm!

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

if i can do it from my chair then i agree!

[@ianhogben3472]

good species do not need rules today is the day to find out why we need them

[@seamusfinnegan1164]

So doggos, human?, not sure what the third species is.

[@beingsneaky]

Gorilla?? Chimp??

[@johnnyrotten3175]

Since it's described as larger than a human, must be a gorilla or an orangutan

[@curiousangel6321]

Why in the algorithm am I still awake? 😴

[@Gilhelmi]

It has been over a year now. You should get some sleep. (I love dad jokes)

[@hanzzel6086]

​@@GilhelmiOver 2yrs, I really hope he's had at least a nap.

[@atathesteelcrownedqueen8070]

Yeah, I should be in bed too, this is three years later.

[@josmeijers2818]

that was one hell of a story ! FTA !

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@stalwartteakettlepotato9879]

What are the 2 other teran species? I think one of them is an uplifted chimpanzee but what's the other one?

[@notafrisbee5907]

Dunno, but all 3 could be human. Couple hundred years of seperate development in a time when genetic engineering is advanced can change the appearances a lot.

[@stalwartteakettlepotato9879]

@@notafrisbee5907 that's also possible

[@shadowstalker130666]

Id suspect either unlifted wolf or dog. Definately canine.

[@spacetechempire510]

@@notafrisbee5907 may be. We may of uplifted the chimps and gene edit our selfs with knine dna.

[@firstnamelastname7124]

@@spacetechempire510 so we made furrys real time to make an AI to kill all organic life so that shit doesn't happen

[@waynecampeau4566]

So, you think your good at war and think our rules are foolish? Prepare for a very, very bitter lesson. Learn why we have so many rules.

[@Gilhelmi]

A good man does not need rules. You don't want to know why we have so many.

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

4:15 Quooooote

[@cameronknox7567]

I say Gorillas. Human, Chimp, Gorilla.

[@haroldwilbert4377]

For the algorithm and its profit.

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@grossteilfahrer]

@@AgroSquerril Cheers!

[@mattbrown5511]

Nice knowing you Dranaxian. Hope to see you on the other side with a better attitude.

[@k.dl.p6461]

At first I thought my headphones are broken thanks for the scare😅

[@rainbowchaser73]

Well I hope we don't do that to our Earth

[@pavelZhd]

Well... We kind of are. Firstly - our total disregard to climate change Then there are nukes. Our current total nuke count is estimated to be enough to glass the whole planet half-dozen times over. And don't be fooled by the idea that a country can shoot down all enemy nukes and thus survive. A desperate enough nuke-wielding nation can detonate enough nukes on its own territory to carpet the whole planet in radioactive ash and trigger century-long nuclear winter. That being said, we are unfortunately becoming less and less likely to use restraint on this kind of weapons. The main cold War rivals are starting to poke at each other... Plus we are starting to see nukes in the hands of religiously motivated nations. Fat chance those would be deterred by feat if MAD if they feel like their belief are being hurt...

[@calvingreene90]

@@pavelZhd Your estimate of the power of nuclear weapons is ludicrously high.

[@tidusffx1147]

@@calvingreene90 it is high but he is correct that there are still more than enough nukes out there to F us over

[@calvingreene90]

@@tidusffx1147 But not enough to render Earth uninhabitable or drive humans into extinction.

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@Speed001]

All is all -A Space Dandy song (and a pretty good highschool musical-esque episode) Viva viva viva all

[@Jordy120]

1 thumbs down....I think someone may need a hug.

[@ΒΑΣΙΛΕΙΟΣΠΑΠΑΔΑΚΗΣ-γ6φ]

I kove the stories where humans just start using the geneva checklist

[@theskeletoninthebasement9688]

For the algorithm my friends

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm.

[@ironworksdragon6843]

bob the dragon

[@Lsr2380]

Thank you :D

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@AgroSquerril]

kept going

[@Monster_Ink]

For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@allenmorgan1007]

FtA, FtA(s), FtDV!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@ufoe20011]

In how many universes are the dunake going to have to get their asses stomped. Before they learn. DO NOT FECK WITH THE TERRIANS. See " we thought the humans were weak " also narrated by agro

[@ChaosLierLen]

BAMN for the damned!

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm.

[@johnnyrotten3175]

4 D algorithm 4 D 🐿️ ❗ ❗

[@garrettmasarik8012]

Ooooo... the audio on this one is clicky buzzy...

[@Elyseon]

Dranok delenda est!

[@johnnyrotten3175]

Shaka, When the Walls Fell

[@arakheno4051]

FTA

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@grossteilfahrer]

a bit of clipping in the right channel, unfortunately

[@TheRealInscrutable]

100K

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

what is the sol species there.....i cant decide if its uplifted feline+canine+gorila ? horse?....or just various gen moded humans or something else hmm also..refer to the star.....oh no... you dident.... you scorched it dident you! you butchered your own mother garden over some childish reasons!

[@johnnyrotten3175]

Human, dog, and gorilla

[@merlinwizard1000]

163rd, 10 December 2023

[@zoro117]

The story seemed good, but I couldn’t finish it. You felt really rushed and it made me think at first that someone was reposting it at a higher speed but it is just you.

[@beingsneaky]

hmm? yes... the author Cleary does not now how to tell a story There is no conclusion to this story.. where is the rest of it?

[@HoNkYforLiFe1]

Most boring story yet

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm