r/MurderedByWords

[@adventurerwithacoolhat2531]

My dad had Shingles and on a pain scale it ranked a “Someone please put me out of my misery every moment of my existence is pure agony.”

[@spookyscaryskeletonsmith2840]

Still nothing compared to living in Dallas, Texas as an Ohio fan

[@匚尺丂乇-k3v]

@@spookyscaryskeletonsmith2840 OMGGG I LOVE OHIO!?!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩🦫🤩😍😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩😍🤩🤩🤩🤩

[@Joe-y9t3w]

@@匚尺丂乇-k3v The random beaver emoji killed me 💀

[@sackboy1665]

@@Joe-y9t3w all i see is 01f9ab

[@kalebtewodros]

Is that a gumball quote? Sorry for your dad, but the way it lined was uncanny

[@stevewhite4080]

This may be the only time the views on the video correspond correctly on correct amount of likes. 23 likes, 23 views.

[@caiobarreto6550]

Not anymore

[@TheOfficialHattyHattington]

@@caiobarreto6550 Very much so.

[@ColonelBogey]

Yup

[@themobilearchivist2308]

23 minutes ago

[@skiiscott3812]

Not anymore

[@silverflight01]

I love seeing all of the tweets that just PROVE how bad their math is. $5B a person would just go to 8 people, not 8 BILLION

[@KidCypherTV]

i had to ask my aunt if I was reading it right because I felt like I had a stroke

[@uhohmemebiggestboy212]

44 billion devided by the population is $5.53 each with a bunch more numbers bet that person did use a calculator but doesn't know when your working with money you ignore the rest of the numbers beyond the first two after the decimal point so they saw 5 billion and not 5.53

[@fernandomarques5166]

@@uhohmemebiggestboy212 Most likely people who post stuff like that have no idea how many zeroes a billion has after the number, she probably just divided 44 by 8, rounded 5.5 to 5 and shoved billion behind that number because in their minds "billion ÷ billion = billion".

[@Jillickle]

@@uhohmemebiggestboy212 I did 44billion divided by 7billion and got 6 1/2, makes no sense I think I did it wrong

[@uhohmemebiggestboy212]

@@Jillickle you did a lower number I did the actual population taken on January 1st this year which is 7,948,118,521 billion, your almost a billion off giving you about a dollar more easy mistake to make even I was surprised how close it was to 8 billion when I looked it up I'd say by the end of this year will have made it to 8 billion humans kinda scary honestly

[@potahtwah9591]

I'll be real, Epilepsy is a serious and horrid thing to have, but I laughed like a dumbass at the idea of a convulsing bear

[@Nova_The_Second]

As someone with autism Idk what theyd make for autism, with it being a spectrum. Ive got no remark like the convulsing bear or anything as i just cant think of one lmao

[@dialaforawesome]

ADHD one should have foot tapping

[@potahtwah9591]

@@dialaforawesome adhd should have foot tapping and a sensor. If any noises happen around it, it will jerk its head to the noise. Cause that's how it be.

[@Adude1145]

Epilepsy is awful but imagining a shaking bear is gonna make me laugh I'm going to hell

[@universenerdd]

No. Epilepsy only bothers the people you care about

[@snipeyourdog2966]

"Deplorable verbal beatdown" had me dying

[@TheInvisibleCactusYT]

I love how Ailurus can go from a month long hiatus from KZbin to uploading every single day

[@screamingapple6195]

It's the way of ailurus. And I love him for it

[@GuyMcPherson69]

Haha, agreed.

[@stylishniggachannel4763]

His hiatus is his attack cool down

[@geekmyths]

@@stylishniggachannel4763 i think he’s said in videos that at least part of the reason is that he needs time to refill his video image folders, so youre pretty much right

[@Rhombusreal]

@@stylishniggachannel4763 bro is charging his limit break

[@notmedicine2220]

"Sir, this is a Wendy's" is one of my favorite roasts of all time. Any time someone makes a hot take on Twitter (something like that Stanford professor complaining that there was no depiction of slavery in Pirates of the Caribbean), all you have to say is, "Sir, this is a Wendy's" to point out how ridiculous their stance is.

[@lefishe5845]

It kind of reminds me of who the hell asked, but better.

[@royalhydra9790]

@@lefishe5845 Who the hell asked gets amplified by how many variations can be made of it. Like, "I hacked into a satellite, and still couldn't find who asked".

[@VylaisSophia]

I think the "Sir, this is a Wendy's." statement is so good because it's just that, who would say this in a public area, out loud, and not expect ridicule? This needs to be an internet rule. The Wendy's Rule or something.

[@htpgracekb]

@@VylaisSophia as in “if you wouldn’t say it in a Wendy’s, you probably shouldn’t say it online”

[@VylaisSophia]

@@htpgracekb yeah exactly

[@JakeMckay1738]

Anytime I feel stupid I can go to twitter and feel like a genius

[@brianpatterson2789]

smae

[@oneofmanynone5082]

It never fails

[@typical-typer]

works all the time

[@petitecarrot]

AC

[@GabeSlayer]

I AM actually stupid as hell, but then I open Twitter and I say to myself "at least I'm not that stupid" Pretty relatable

I had some stupid laughter when Wendy's pulled the ‘‘Sir, this is a Wendy's.’’

[@stylishniggachannel4763]

Aye, when I liked your comment i got a ad. Damn you

@@stylishniggachannel4763 I have no say in that.

[@Keaton0801]

In actuality, if Elon musk were to take the money he spent on twitter, and hand it out to everyone in the world evenly, then everyone would get $5.50.

[@doxi0863]

I would like to receive 5$ from musk

[@enderb0t]

thats liek twice my monthly saving

[@justsomeguy1275]

Still pretty insane

[@Mate397]

Yea.... still it's 5 and a half bucks from Elon, that's still something.

[@senko---san]

which like 75% of the world cant even use 😂

[@weirdassenbychild7452]

5:44 that 'Uh Oh' sound Ailurus made sounded like genuine concern and it forced a laugh out of me

[@silverflight01]

6:27 Imagine getting roasted by the DICTIONARY

[@crowfather5013]

Love this guy he calls out b.s in all forms being fair to all racism is racism,sexism is sexism and bigotry is bigotry

[@helton1812]

I think all the people genuinely enjoyed Morbius are just people who turn their brain off when they watch movies to enjoy them more (so they don't notice small stuff that's just annoying), that's what I do most of the time

[@AaronJLong]

I don't watch movies often, I'm rarely in the mood, but when I do I usually enjoy them, even most of the "bad" ones. My grandfather was obsessed with sailing so I've lost count of how many times I watched Waterworld when visiting him as a kid and to this day that movie still brings back those sweet childhood memories. Same with watching the old Dune movie with my mom. It wasn't until much later that I learned that those movies were "bad."

[@helton1812]

@@AaronJLong this is mostly how I feel with movies like shrek 3 and shark tale, they are "bad" but I just tend to turn my brain off and start watching the funny green guy try and beat a young owen wilson in a fight

[@mincraffkoolistgam4557]

Ailurus be like: How DARE people enjoy morbius, a film MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES

[@ultimaterecoil1136]

Nah it was just the people who went in expecting a so bad it’s good movie rather then caring about oh they lied about Spider-Man stuff being here. Basically everyone who enjoyed venom would if they didn’t go in with false intentions probably also enjoy morb.

[@maomaomi5434]

@@ultimaterecoil1136 oh... guess I'm gonna like it then, since I never cared about lore or canon anyway.

[@valmanway1844]

Epic video, the part where he reacted to the "teen girls" thing like "oh shit he went there" was gold in its purest form.

[@hacktrixapii]

Your voice is the absolute optimal voice for this reddit reading business. Thank you, Ailurus

[@supernate760]

0:00 the first one is surprising, Qrow being able to roast while drunk is surprising

[@coolfloridian9348]

The roasts in this subreddit are absolutely hilarious!

[@cherry__Soda]

1:31 as someone who has had shingles recently I can confirm it’s terrible, I’m vaccinated too! I can imagine it’s a lot worse for those who aren’t.

[@nullskull6860]

science moment

[@justintaylor2745]

That vaccine wasn't FDA approved for distribution till 1995. The women was 38 at the time of the post. She's still an idiot but the vaccine would have done nothing to help her as it doesn't treat nor cure shingles.

[@justintaylor2745]

history moment xD

[@kingvsa8430]

i like how everyone says "if elon gave everyone xx money everyone would get xx $," without taking into account not everyone even uses USD

[@33SportsOffical]

@@TonightTheMusicSeemsSoLoudd my exact thoughts

[@saucevc8353]

@@TonightTheMusicSeemsSoLoudd Wait really? I thought inflation only happens when the government prints a lot more money, wouldn't Elon Musk just be redistributing money that already exists and thus wouldn't cause inflation? Sorry I'm not an economics expert.

[@chieftainmk_11]

When you get roasted by RYANAIR you should just get off the internet,This event will be cemented in history.

[@pipeqez911]

Ryanair really are a goated airline

[@bei.-.o]

@@pipeqez911 the landings though… maybe not so much lmao

[@AnAnonymousAuditor]

@@bei.-.o smooth landings involve a premium fee also called flying with another airline

[@eltecatoconundrocity]

@@AnAnonymousAuditor best thing about Ryanair is when you get off the damn plane

[@seantaggart7382]

Ryanair: hey your nfts crashed harder than our landings!

[@Saturnz_Rings]

Alirus, please do r/murderedbywords again in the future, it's so damn funny

[@alexiacorbin3052]

2:47 man's mad cus she's more caked up than his future prospects as a human

[@guts2048]

You killed him

[@Error404jsisidu]

You murdered him

[@koirakuu]

hello Ailurus, I just have to tell you this: You're my absolute favorite reddit KZbinr, you have a nice voice, great humor and a really good personality! I am currently studying for my finals and your vids help me calm down from the stress and offer a nice escape.. thank you so much for creating content!!

[@thedrunkenoutlaw]

Ok i did the math for the post at 3:49, around 44 billion divided among 8 billion people (gross estimate) would be $5.50 a person, which would be about two Wal-Mart Hersheys bars a person. That is way off from 5 billion

[@crossbones1960]

i’d take the wal-mart hershey bars tbh

[@extremearron]

Don't forget that not everyone uses the dollar, Some of us use monoploy money.

[@666Vampirefromhell]

"The fact that anybody enjoyed that film is baffling." I haven't watched it. Haven't had an opportunity yet. But I don't judge people who like it. Opinion isn't fact. Like what you like and stop crapping on people for what they like. As long as it's not immoral or illegal, let them be.

[@badatgaming9905]

Ye

[@eggman3908]

Sir this is a wendys (Fair point i guess)

[@maomaomi5434]

I haven't watched it yet so idk how it's gonna be like, but I personally enjoy low budget movies with bad acting and cheesy dialogue, but that's mostly because they do it on purpose. If Morbius is anything like an exploitation film, I'm gonna love it. But if it's anything like a cra- ppy Indian drama series, then heeeeeelllll no.

[@Raptorworld22]

Yeah, I watched it twice in the theatre, same day in fact, it was on my birthday because it was legit the only thing I wanted to do on my birthday. Just wanted to watch Mobius in the theatre with my friend. I know the movie is bad, but I still enjoyed it, might even buy it on KZbin to watch it again in my spare time. I view it similar to Twilight, in that it's an objectively poor quality film, but there's someone somewhere who likes it.

[@seantaggart7382]

Its like that for me with last jedi I liked it Its not the best but i enjoyed it

[@QuietRage]

1:08 I didn't even know that was possible! This right here is why we DESPERATELY need to reform education, *especially* in the health sector.

[@nullskull6860]

conform everyone

[@plxlnnt]

i love this subreddit, i hope there are more videos of this one

[@hawyadoin1175]

Kevin Sorbo played Hercules. He can have a grandma haircut.

[@Raptorworld22]

He also makes terrible Christian-Netflix-Knockoff Xmas movies about how the gays are bad iirc, so I think that removes all "Grandma haircut" privileges he may have once had.

[@DarknessIsTheTruth]

I'm not saying that one guy was right... but having News stand for "Notable Events, Weather and Sports" almost-kinda-sorta works.

[@joaovitorbarianimeirelesmo5686]

I agree it would work if the word "new" was not already tied to the concept of... well, novelty events

[@dislikebutton9838]

I love this, this subreddit is very funny, plus your commentary, this should be a banger.

[@joshuahilliker2364]

1:52 “you’re the one who’s watching their work. No one’s watching you work.” Two sentences. 12 words. Straight to the point. Best of all, it is a blunt truth that can be easily observed as an objective fact. The perfect insult.

[@PoisonIvory088]

I like how Ailurus does new subreddits to keep things fresh recently :)

[@bravewater5737]

"The most brutal, vicious, and deplorable verbal beatdowns on the internet" - Ailurus He's right.

[@gbennett9297]

That Bugatti video is great. Not only do they make a mold out of clay, they fiberglassed the mold and then made it run and drive. Amazing

[@gunsandroses896]

The fact that Qrow made the comeback about bitterness. Hoo boy. Get 'em Uncle!

[@faiyathefirebnuy170]

You know, NFT is already a bad thing when even Ryanair roast your NFT.

[@Cman04092]

I love this sub. Some people say the stupidest things ever, and they need to be called out for it.

[@TheLuuman]

morbius was pretty good, but i enjoyed it with the homies so maybe its a different experience than watching it solo

[@neppyneppynepu]

I think it was like Mid for a marvel movie, good if it wasn't, but got way more hate than it had any right getting

[@saucevc8353]

@@neppyneppynepu I think a big reason was probably how Jared Leto is a massive POS and no one feels sorry if the movie he stars in bombs.

[@lefishe5845]

The best experience is having friends over and just dogging on any movie good or bad.

[@Shifty-t5z]

my attraction to minors is major i cant even play hopscotch without popping a rager

[@kujojotaro1395]

This is just a G.I. Jane joke right

[@Shifty-t5z]

@@kujojotaro1395 ikd i just know it from a song

[@RealSleeepyK]

This subreddit reminds me of this historical story, idk if its actually real but, Wang Liang/Lang went up against Zhuge Liang, basically having a debate, and Wang Liang got so badly defeated he died due to it, he died from talking

[@petagriffin9883]

4:52 he looks like Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2 💀

[@guts2048]

Damn

[@okknahh]

Wtf he actually does lmao

[@gambit_sfm]

5:39 caught in 4K and ohm y fucking god that reaction was priceless

[@Magicaid0]

Just gotta say that I love the pokemon HeartGold background music

[@nomm6564]

7:37 this comeback hit harder than their landings lol

[@leeswan6876]

I'm loving all the new topics your covering man keep up the good work homie

[@Thomasynthesis]

im surprised this is the first installment of this series, this subreddit is a perfect fit for this channel

[@nuggie3905]

"Kids app? It appears your perception of TikTok has been warped because 60% of the people you follow are =goofy laugh= UH OH"

[@SummaryNine26]

We now live in a world where a fast food restaurant can roast Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

[@theone8873]

I have adhd and I don’t want to be represented. I want the show to be good because of a good story and likable characters not just because of “representation” *cough* *cough* Steven Universe

[@caramel_frappe]

"Bring back Masculine Men!" Keep the ones we got right now PLZ! I'm liking this batch here! We got talent and humor and good facial care, hell we got some that are willing to cry and actually tell you how they're feeling instead of holding it in!! I don't care too much but i really don't an all muscle, no feelings, angry dude. I already have a brother like that, and I'm tired.

[@atarimaster2213]

1:15 You know, my grandfather scoffed at the doctor when he found out the shingles shot would cost him $75. He got it bad, and later said he would pay $10,000 for a time machine so that he could tell himself to get the dam shot.

[@LiquidSoapDrinker]

6:51 put one of those gyrating motors used in dog toys so it starts flying everywhere for ADHD

[@theamazingbagel-man9684]

I love Ryanair since we use their flights to visit out family in Latvia so seeing them dunk on crypto bros is fun

[@disappointed_motha]

I’m sick, so whenever I laugh, I die from coughing (of course I’m being dramatic), so watching this video is very dangerous, worth it but dangerous

[@isntabelle]

Ailurus can make any subreddit entertaining

[@SirFailsalot91]

After all the depressing and enraging videos beforehand, I'm happy to get some schadenfreude to make me feel better - thanks, Panda Daddy, this is just what I was needing today.

[@Gabwien]

4:43 why does Justin Bieber look like Elis from Left 4 Dead 2 as an alcoholic step dad that just watched his step-son miss a fly ball

[@NeedForSpeedMostWanted2K12]

hi ailurus! I love to watch your content while I play tom clancy's the division 2, but recently youtube stoped recomending your videos, at lest for me, but i'll check daily if you posted or not because I love your content! keep up with the good work panga boy!

[@drxpgodxx487]

The most surprising thing I’ve heard all day is that Ailurus doesn’t like morbin

[@Echo_Kenji]

I already loved cyanide and happiness animations, now I just love them as a whole

[@SomeRandomPangolin]

"exotic sports car" ailurus says describing a super car

[@MrBell762]

If I wanted something TRULY vial, I wouldn't have a convo with the first girl I'd state a fact to my mom

[@jucool5]

Same with my mom. Though she would probably beat tf outta me after awhile.

[@MrBell762]

@@jucool5 oof

[@incineroar9933]

Treated shingles is an awful thing. I got the shingles at 16 and lost a whole month of my life. All I remember is pain and vomiting. Chicken pox also hit me hard, I had to be forced into a bath that felt like it burned me and held down naked and screaming as my parents applied this freezing cold medication to my screaming, painful lumps. I couldn't understand why my parents were doing that to me, and struggling only made it worse because it agitated the pox all over my body. Clothes hurt, no clothes hurt, lying down, sitting up, even standing hurt they were on my feet, between my fingers, on my fingertips, in my freaking ear. I wish we had the vaccine when I was a kid. I couldn't hold books or toys, couldn't focus on tv, just misery.

[@vi0let831]

HOLY SHIT I HAVE ASTHMA AND THE "there's so much air in the world" ONE KILLED ME 💀

[@Ayrora-]

7:45 holy shit breathe Sarah had me laughing

[@krychur4956]

seriously, the last one is so accurate. yet if you say "increase earnings" to the government, suddenly they get reeeeeal quiet... wonder why that is.

[@statera5854]

8:30 they doing that taliban logic

[@Sinc3r3ly]

How would a bear represent me being Autistic? Do I press the button in its hand and it infodumps about cats for 2 and a half hours?

[@enjoyingend1939]

Cyanide and ryanair shitting on crypto bros killed me

[@Masochistickoala]

4:20 I enjoyed because it felt like one of these old 2000s Superhero movies. My uncle used to lend me those on DVD all the time when I was a kid until he died in 2012.

[@DanielQuan97]

7:55 Yeaaaah, go tell that to the Mayans and Aztecs

[@Wor_u15]

4:20 my mom enjoyed the movie, is my mom trash?

[@JP-dt5sv]

Yep

[@limenine7410]

Yeah he just acted like some people can’t enjoy some other stuff, but In previous iamapeiceofshit videos, he says how bad people don’t allow others to have their own opinion.

[@rustyshackleford1697]

The epileptic teddy bear made me cackle so loud omg.

[@ampstudios4169]

8:25 I heard that eclipses are not going to be around for a lot longer due to the earth and moon moving.

[@oilybat3269]

6:09-6:22 FINALLY AN INTELLGENT HUMAN BEING THANK YOU

[@benjamina6618]

I'd also like to point out that if everybody suddenly got billions of dollars, prices would inflate accordingly and nobody would be "rich"

[@challengeaccepted5613]

You know what? I'm gonna say it: I liked morbius, not the best but it was good enough for me. The effects were good and Matt Smith is a welcome sight anywhere anytime. That is a hill I am willing to die on.

[@goroakechi235]

6:23. I thought it stood for North, East, West, and South. Like covering everything in those directions.

[@Hans140]

6:32 idk why but the fact Merriam-Webster added a period at the end really sells it for me. Like it’s more serious with the period there. Idk why but I find that funny

[@joshuahilliker2364]

I just came up with an insult while doing nothing. “I’m sorry. Sorry you have parents to disappoint, I mean. Siblings, too.”

[@anothernobody5396]

I would absolutely just buy a “Go To Work Ass” because imagine actually taking your ass off like it’s Lego. “Ope, I’m going to work! I need to switch my *whole ass* before I forget!” Like, that actually sounds funny to me.

[@carlnl0t650]

4:59 dont buy no weed from the gas station bruh

[@UnderSuperior]

I had never seen morbius and the trailer looked rather cool making me want to see it and when I told my dad he looked baffled "you want to see it?" "yeah it looks cool" "I wouldn't recommend it but ok" I never went to see it but now I know why the trailer was so dark

[@kc3630_]

5:44 bro that "UH OH" was so funny xD

[@TheAutisticOwl]

Not even 30 seconds in and I'm already loving this

[@deona267]

Sir , this is a Wendy’s, I laughed so hard.

[@Josh_the_jester]

It's kinda like rare insults but much more passionate

[@DogeDragone]

6:23 I mean it makes sense but that’d be something a broadcast teacher would tell you to try and get a 5 year old to remember the word “NEWS”

[@Natalietrans]

“$5 a gallon, people just walking places” You know that doesn’t sound that bad

[@NutsItch]

“and if you ask nicely, they’ll sell you some weed” DAMN THE ACCURACY 💀

[@chrispyynugget1537]

Pretty sure that whole "NEWS" revelation predates tiktok. I definitely remember seeing the post many years ago and I'm sure it just gets retold every once in a while because people lack original content to post sometimes.

[@rajder656]

Fun fact about the most stupid acronym ever. There is something called wine which stands for and I AM SERIOUS "wine is not an emulator"

[@DerpDerp3001]

I own that software.

[@manurz1]

Doing a clay car is impressive is also a curriculum for companies that they first made their prototypes with clay

[@thatbloodyrisk]

4:09 your opinion is invalid morbius is a masterpiece

[@Deedoo_r]

4:53 infact, statictically given that none of them is actively dying of a stroke (or really any condition which limits the movement of the facial muscles) , they're all actually BETTER that beiber

[@Firefrei]

The last one about not being able to save because you choose to go to a college you knew you couldn’t afford and complain how your wages can’t pay it off is a classic skill issue. I’m out here with free tuition and paid hourly while I’m in class. My job’s salary is equal to that of an emt and is in demand all over the world so I can pretty much move to any country file for citizenship with my employer

[@TheJonkler1]

I love how he said "Wiped out humanity"

[@RobertDecker417]

My brother had shingles around his left eye and all on the left side of his face at 20. His eye was swollen shut for almost 2/3 weeks. He has never been in more pain. Also acronyms can use the first letter of two connected words, sometimes it's even three.

[@CatchTheMarmosets]

I also like how the people who say “he could give everyone 3 Billion Dollars” that would destroy the economy