Rabbi YY Jacobson & Rabbi Shimon Russel, LCSW: What Can We Do to Help Our Youth?

[@Michael-NZ]

Wow I wish I’d had Rabbi Shimon Russel in my teacher training. What a loving way to teach and be a example of great parenting

[@bracha987]

Teach the children starting at a young age that the way to have a relationship with HaShem is by talking with Him. Every day. Just like if you want to have a relationship with a person, you need to communicate regularly. Talking creates the relationship. Talking to HaShem like He’s your best friend. Telling Him about everything that’s going on in your life. We need to teach our kids that HaShem WANTS to hear from him/her in their OWN words each and every single day. Davening from the siddur is not the same as speaking to Him in your own words. This will help our children begin to feel that HaShem is intricately involved in our lives.

[@surikatz123]

Without davening, the relationship falls apart.

[@bracha987]

@@surikatz123 I was not intending that davening is not important. By learning how to have daily conversations with HaShem in one’s own words - this comes to only enhance davening from a siddur. It creates a truly intimate relationship between oneself and his or her Creator.

[@rutbrea8796]

You are so right. By talking-to HaShem, blessed is He, I found who I was and where I came from. He, in His infinit compassion, showed me the way of my ancestry and who I was in Him. To have faith is to seek the ALMIGHTY knowing that He, blessed is He, is there for you. B"H

[@Michael-NZ]

You are right, youth suicide is at very high rates in the secular world. Youth feel hopeless without a connection to G-d. Covid, climate change, unemployment all weigh heavily on young idealist minds but having a connection to G-d puts these in perspective and give hope!

[@shay8183]

I cried so much listening to this. I am 44 years old and this brings back such memories. We always came late and got punished. I was in first grade. How was i supposed to be in charge of getting myself to school on time? My parents fought a whole day long and we got punished for coming late .. one time the principal told me sorry u cant go to class and walked away.. i was in first grade and had no idea what to do so i left school and started walking home...then got yelled at for that. Another time i was told i cant go into class because i came late. I hid in the bathroom a whole day. :( if only someone would have been smart enough to have seen past a kid coming late to school. I wish someone would have seen me as worthwhile. I threw religion away because if this is Judaism i wanted no part of it. I hope u can influence schools today

[@surikatz123]

That's awful. Many people are in the Chinuch line that absolutely shouldn't be. My principal also did something awful. Many years ago. The rest of the staff was kind though. So were my wonderful classmates. I'm glad that Hashem connected me with Chabad. I learned what true connection to Hashem really means and how to get there.

[@1995yuda]

I've had similar experiences. Sad to here that's been your experience.

[@hfishman2147]

Shay, I feel your deep and most inner pain and turmoil. I too struggled immensely. However, I realized that Hashem put me through this Gehenim because of the opportunity that he gifted me to choose to love him. Many people connect with Hashem because it's the natural progressional flow from childhood into adulthood. When you are young, you rely on your parents. When you mature Hashem takes over. People who struggle and seem to not be able to heal, can create a unique, personalized, deep love with Hashem which otherwise wouldn't be possible. The harder the struggle the deeper the love. No one could take credit for your accomplishments and relationship with Hashem. You earned every bit of growth by yourself and became a Mench through your own blood and toil. I know neither me nor you would choose pain. However, there is meaning in pain. If Hashem chose us to carry the burden, it may very well be that it's because you are more pious than many people. You are 44 years young. Never ever give up! Embrace your history and turn it into a positive force for good. Hold Hashem's hand and keep on punching. As long as you are with him and try your best, anything and everything could and ih will happen. Never ever give up!! Hatzlacha Rabah!!

[@shay8183]

@@hfishman2147 your words brimg me so much comfort and are so inspiring! I will reread them again and again. Thank you ❤

[@hfishman2147]

@@shay8183 Absolutely. As you heal and become ever closer with your loving eternal Father, there will be nothing that could come between you and him. You are a part of him! Your life is the DNA contract that forever proves the connection. You chose him over the Primordial Serpent. The Gehenim and then the allure to save you through alternative distracting means, is all the same source. Once you realize the source, especially on the deep level that you have, no one and nothing could stop you from becoming awesome! You can and will ih be a source of light for the world because of the darkness he put you through. You are part of Hashem's Specials Forces. Leave shame, guilt, and any other distractive force behind and embrace your special Neshumah with love and kindness. May Hashem give you health and happiness! You still get to write your own beautiful path! Hatzlacha!! 😊

[@Michael-NYC]

Dr Russel. I’m aprox your age (a bit younger…). Where were you when I was growing up. You said……. If you confront your child, even with the best intentions. But you body language is of disappointment anger and negativity…. Then you’ve failed immediately…. Wow. What powerful words. Remembering my childhood difficulties and that body language that I faced……. 🙈

[@priyanka5316]

I enjoy Rabbi's teachings immensely. So much wisdom and compassion, especially for young people who are really given such a hard time today. Adults focus on themselves so much, and our society has become so materially driven that there is little patience for the true heart and humanity children still have. I do question one thing, however. This maintaining a relationship no matter what, even to the point of "giving the child poison", is this really the Torah way? Yes, parents are much too quick to attack a child who they feel is bringing shame to them, but when you work with the child and yet he/she goes into full rebellion, keeping them near can be detrimental to the other children, even the whole household. Even HaShem set limits-not just to punish the rebellious (and even the punishment is meant to help those rebelling to see the error of their ways) but to protect those from the influence of a rebellious person. I know the Jewish population is so very small and we desperately want to cling to every member, but there are those who for whatever reason decide they don't want it, and you can't always blame the parent and make the parent responsible for what a child grows up to choose. This is seen in Torah, for instance, with Yaakov and Esav. The father you speak of who changed the locks after his son refused to obey the rules? Well, no one can live and not sleep for 35 years, and I don't understand why such an illogical condition is presented. So the son married out and had children, but what is his life like? Is it the end of the world that he did that? How do we know there isn't hidden good in that? At least he married and had children, he could have done a lot worse. I have seen families develop further severe problems by keeping a rebellious family member amongst the other children, leading them astray also, tearing down the trust in the parents among their siblings and drawing all the attention to themselves to the point where the other children get neglected, or worse. Children indulged in their "poison" just to keep them near have deteriorated, to the point of death at times, because no limits were considered. Only Hashem knows the complete outcome and is in control of the outcome of every life- every child belongs actually belongs to Him. Protecting family from rebellious members is also a mitzvah, and to let the rebellious one go isn't always a rejection but letting them find their way. HaShem is still with them, and you can still love and pray for the one who really is doing the rejecting. Parents of course must always examine themselves carefully and make sure they do everything with love; the outcome of a life, however, is ultimately between that person and HaShem. It is a very difficult line to walk, so we can't claim any absolutes on either side of it. Its not always a parent's fault if a child rebels, and it's not always the end for that person who rebels. Shalom.

[@yehuditrosen4871]

Thank u so much for giving us excellent food for thought!!! educators need to hear all your words of wisdom that u have shared with us !!ישר כוח!!

[@Michael-NZ]

That’s beautiful making a compliment instead of a criticism to late students

[@snadi-villaneumann7592]

I am so tucht by this....

[@hdonstraight]

Teens have always struggled since the beginning of time. Our Avos had their handful with some of their kids. So did Dovid Hamelech. In retrospect we should count our blessings. And let your child know you are on their side. Parenting stops after bar and bas mitzvah in my opion guidance counselor and loving parent even more now steps in imho.

[@bracha987]

Rabbi YY’s story at the very end of the man who asked “where were you 30 years ago?” With simple Emunah we understand that this was all Hashem’s plan. Now it is crucial for this man’s healing to do hitbodedute everyday, to speak to HaShem to truly feel in all of his being, physical and spiritual, that it was all with HaShem’s love It is going to take hard work with daily hitbodedute, speaking to HaShem in his own words, but he can be healed through these conversations

[@d.rothenberg8295]

Wish this talk were in Hebrew & mandatory for all Israeli mechanchim !!

[@ליקסל]

I totally agree with you.

[@shlomolawrence6695]

Best way to bridge adolescent or child care is to utilize each child's strengths to support them and to make sure all their emotional, physical needs are being met. Genuine care therapy. Zeh hoo.

[@tiffanymarks4577]

Perfect

[@shlomolawrence6695]

It's about tangible connection for a child.

[@estherrachelrichtig8148]

excellent!

[@apostlepaul3363]

If someone is born wonderful counselor Mighty God Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace then how can they not be The Moshiach?

[@estherrachelrichtig8148]

its about relationship with Hashem

[@rutbrea8796]

Asking for money when you don't know what's happening to a young person for being late for class it's the wrong approach. There could be so many reasons for certain behaviors that not trying to find out to help, is narcissistic behavior and is not going to help the situation, instead woul make it worst, because you wouldn't show compassion and a desire to help out of connection.

[@user-bo8nb2mi]

Drives at young age if not accommodated will see teens accommodate it outside the fold. If shidduch isn't done early enough then well forget about it. Especially in Golah atmosphere where there's considerable temptation, bait in false Noah's ark. And highest marks and tuition is only thing really ever wanted. Parents have their own severe problems. Aliya atmosphere and not talking telephone numbers is the cure.

[@user-bo8nb2mi]

Economic and intellectual exigencies allowed only the select to continue beyond the initial stages of education: "...1000 students who enter the study of mikra, of whom 100 continue on to mishna, and only ten advance on to talmud..."

[@figward]

If that is the case kids will start coming later and later on purpose to get bigger and bigger danishes and larger big gulps. I would. Me and my stomach love the idea. My soul appreciates it also. Love them to death. A novel idea.

[@jaimeciero3485]

Becouse a lot of chabad people promise blessing instants good thinks and worrie about dinero $$$ so when the face the true is shocking for them ! Plus a lot child abuse and cover up! Don’t prepare to Love G-d with the reallity of life ….