How To Be Alone After Divorce (Without Freaking Out)

[@xFatal4]

This is me right now. Not sure how to navigate life and be alone in a house with my thoughts

[@ScottGoesHiking]

Same. It’s hard to sit alone with my thoughts so I try to keep busy. I started volunteering and exercising.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Being alone with your brain post divorce can be one of the hardest things to navigate. I'm hosting a free workshop starting this week that's going to give more details and tools for doing just that. I'd love to have you join us! You can register here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop

[@dale116dot7]

To be quite honest, it would be much better to be able to turn off the biological urges. Everything else I found to be pretty easy. If we could just shut off that biology, we could just ignore women so there is no urge to enter the next relationship. Then we would not be drawn into dating again, because being alone “forever” would be much better, and much easier.

[@VirginiaBoy703]

Going through a divorce for no reason and if there are reasons she wasn’t clear to me.

[@happy11111100]

Bottom line is this no one gets divorced through no reason if she was not clear about things do not try and work out why you will go mad if i were you say to yourself why would i want to be with someone who does not want to be with me leave her go and value yourself God bless Bro and good luck

[@NormallikePeter]

The nervous system adjustment is very disrupted. Lose of a primary relationship is shocking to the core. The being alone after 25 years. So disorienting.

[@TimMillernapavalleyfilmworks]

This is me 1.5 years post divorce. It’s grueling but I’ve found a great church and friends.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Hi Tim, I'm glad you've found a good support system. That can make all the difference in the world. If you'd like more tools, this week and next I'm hosting Live workshops going deeper into the emotional regulation and healing work. It would be great to have you join us! You can register here: ources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop

[@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx]

Get used to being alone it's gonna be a while

[@Karina_Engr]

Mostly men and some woman are in their Findout season. When you thinks the relationship is going great because she’s not putting up a fight is when she’s just given up. Listen to him/her. The may be nagging, but you taking it as personal attack isn’t helping either. You both need better ways to communicate to each other.

[@Skiboy3333]

I know blame can never be apportioned entirely to one side or the other (both sides are usually culpable in some way) but can we agree that if the vast majority of wives/partners from whom we are now separated had even half the depth of empathy, openness, understanding, introspection, and focus on practical solutions that Rachel has, that we may not even be grappling with these situations in the first place? 😂 (i.e., they mighta been just humble enough to try to work things out b4 pullin' the chute).

[@dannwhitehead6193]

I will be 2 years divorced in November. At first it was a hard adjustment. The weekends I didn’t have my kids, I didnt k ow what to do with myself. I was so used to not having time to myself when I was married, that I wanted to go crazy and do reckless things. But then I was also really broke and struggling financially. I have found meet up groups helpful as well as giving up alcohol. I drank a lot because I was unhappy with my situation. Journaling helped a lot

[@VirginiaBoy703]

Rachel your really good at this and it’s helping me thanks

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm so glad it's been helpful. Thanks for being a part of this YT community.

[@donatasbagavicius689]

Just divorced. I am broken

[@kimora7964]

Psalms 83:18

[@steveos5112]

Everybody is different. It took me 6 years to finally breakthrough after my divorce and marriage of 28 years. MGTOW and channels like yours helped me answer the questions I had running through my head the “why’s, how and when. I still listen to some content for tuneups but guys I made it through to the other side. I have peace, solitude and happiness. You can too!!

[@urbanart7325]

She will also be alone. I wish her all the best

[@sessionvoice]

Rachel is legit for real. For me the key is me focusing on me, something I’ve never really done and believing emotionally that I deserve to feel good and then making the time to do things like she is saying

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm glad you're able to take this time to focus on yourself, your healing and meeting your needs. Thanks for the kind words! I'm hosting a free workshop this week that goes deeper into emotional regulation and working with strong feelings. I'd love to have you join in! You can register here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop

[@ericmoresea6461]

Yet another helpful video, Rachel - thank you. I use your advice every DAY. Side note: I LOVE at the 7:55 mark when you get serious and say, “DO THEM ANY WAY.” Yes, Ma’am. No questions asked. 😄

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Hi Eric, I'm so glad you're using the tools in these videos and have found them so helpful. That's awesome. If you want to go a little deeper with me, please join me tonight and next week - I'm hosting a free live training series on emotional regulation for men during divorce. You can register here to attend the lives and also get access to the replays (I won't be publishing them on my normal channel): resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop Thanks for watching and for your kind comment!

[@steveholden9139]

The negotiation book is by Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. It’s a great read.

[@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx]

There's the loss of any future period, women hear the word divorce and immediately run

[@andrewdoyle3238]

Great content Rachael, this helps

[@smiles7631]

Subscibed thank you. 3 years and I'm starting to accept it fully and be ok. I tried to get on dating sites to fill in the hole quickly after the divorce but that lead no where quick. Just more pain. I am doing ok now though. I would like to see your videos to help cope and move on. Thank you again.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

You're welcome. I'm glad the videos are helpful. Dating right away often backfires, unfortunately. The inner healing work can be scary, but it's well worth it in the long run! If you'd like more support, check out my free masterclass - resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register It has more specific coping tools and gives a step by step process for moving on. Thanks for subscribing! It's good to have you here in our YT community.

[@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx]

Yeah it means get used to being alone, cause that's the rest of your new life, it's been 4 years since my x left me for a drug addict and became one herself and I'm still paying for it, I have no one and it's not looking like that's gonna change

[@smiles7631]

@@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx That is heartbreaking. So is she still coming to you for money? If you have kids together that makes it even harder. I would say you would have to cut her off somehow. If she has your kids and is getting high that is a super bad thing. I will talk to you about if you need someone to vent to. I was caught up in self medicating years ago when I lost a child to a sudden illness. I just found this channel myself, and Racheal seems to know what shes talking about.

[@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx]

@@smiles7631 no, she doesn't come to me for money, I haven't seen her or my kids in 4 and a half years now. She lied to me about breaking up with the guy while we were still legally married, I think the 2 of them planned to use me to get them a house away from the drug dealer they owed money to, I moved with her from Tennessee to new York closer to my family and once I got us into a place she snuck, the shit bag up from Tennessee and into my house at 1 in the morning. I just got out of prison about a month ago for beating the hell out of him. Trust me when I tell you when you get punished for that long and it's associated with losing everything, there's no coming back.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

@@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx that is horrible. I know that when you've been hurt in such a brutally painful way, and especially when it is on-going, it can be nearly impossible to imagine a happier future. You deserve to be happy. To be loved. To be held and supported. If you're not already I hope you'll consider talking to a therapist. This is serious trauma you've been through, and it takes a toll on your nervous system, causing it to shut down in ways that leave you isolated and often physically ill. A trauma based therapist can help you gently heal those injuries to the nervous system so you can start to have meaningful relationships again, with healthier partners.