what happened... where I've been and how I'm healing

[@marissacruz5410]

All the mommies who didn’t make it through childbirth are in heaven taking care of all the babies who didn’t make it through their delivery❤️

[@ashlynnreader1499]

I love this thought 💕

[@jennl93]

This is a wonderful view of such tragic situations. Thank you for this comment.

[@rebeccawright9508]

What a beautiful thought.

[@dianekiko4504]

I love this!

[@Banks040]

Amen 🙏🏻

[@89kaitlyn]

I recently went through a major loss, different than you. My husband passed away suddenly due to a stroke, I was 6 weeks pregnant with our first child at the time. Thankfully my pregnancy is ok and I’m currently 21 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. My grief counsellor said something that resonated with me “I am only an expert at my own loss, no one else will truly understand my loss”. So don’t let anyone tell you how you “should” grieve or how you “should” move on. Do what feels right for you and your family. Im so sorry you are having to go through this trauma.

[@belindamcaleavy1942]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[@jaxxiet5851]

I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙏💖

[@georgiatayrac2404]

This baby is so lucky to hv you as a mom❤ good luck mama

[@katy9291]

Im so sorry for your loss 🙏

[@traceykerr895]

I am so sorry for your loss. Best wishes for when your son arrives

[@Aliadale]

Your baby girl didn’t know her life was cut short, she only knew warmth and love. We loved you then, now, and always. Heal you and your family. If you’re worried about putting out content frame it this way, you can’t give your all to videos if you’re not all there. You come first.

[@deendrew36]

I love the realization that this little girl did not know how short her life (on earth) was, but only that she was/is loved and cherished. I believe she has eternal life now. ❤️

[@bronwyngavin6076]

Rach, I'm so sorry. I lost a son at 23 weeks, and I'll never forget holding his tiny little body. It's a pain no one should ever have to feel. On top of the pain of losing a child, you have people who try to minimize your feelings and big emotions. Time is the ultimate healer. 💙💙💙 💕💕💕

[@kyliedunmire7280]

My mom passed away on New Year’s Day of 2020 and one of the greatest gifts I’ve held in my heart was her finally getting to hold the baby she lost before my brothers and me. As much as I her, knowing that she is eternally surrounded by love is everything.

[@prettyinpink9893]

I just lost my son at 24 weeks last Friday. I hope I’ll be ok. I don’t feel like I’m going to make it

[@bronwyngavin6076]

@@prettyinpink9893 I am so very sorry. It's a pain unlike any other in the world. I'm not going to tell you things happen for a reason bc I HATED all the well meaning people that said that to me. Time is truly the only thing that will help. My son would have just turned 15, and I still feel that pain every year. I'm here to talk if that helps. It helped me to share with other women that had gone through the same thing. What happened to us wasn't a miscarriage, and I had a lot of resentment towards the people that tried to minimize it to that by telling me a lot of women have miscarriages. I, as I'm sure you did, had to deliver my son and hold him while he tried to take his one and only breath. And I am NOT saying miscarriages are minute either bc I've had an early term miscarriage as well, and that tore me up inside, too. I will tell you that I have had 2 perfectly healthy normal pregnancies since then. My sons are 5 and 6. It took me a long time to get to the point where I was emotionally ready to try again. You feel all those feelings, cry, scream, whatever you feel at the moment allow yourself to feel it. The pain and heartache never truly go away, but you will be able to deal with it easier as time passes. And like I said, I'm here to chat if you need to. 🌈 💙 💙

[@gracealicious1]

I lost my first daughter at 23 weeks and it was so hard I wish I would have held her and looked at her but I was so hurt in that moment and didn’t know what to do I just didn’t even want to see her biggest regret in my life

[@aoyamiuriko5059]

Wow....I know i shouldn't be on here this is making me cry and my heart goes out to you and everyone on this thread. I had a daughter at 21 weeks on literal new years eve. I thought I didn't want to see her but im glad the nurses held onto her until I felt better, also never seen my husband cry like that ever and I thought he wasn't connected. My sister had a still birth 2yrs ago and I don't want anyone to go thru what we went thru. I can't imagine any of it and I went thru it. Hoping this time a rainbow 🌈 for all of us in Jesus name!

[@AmandaandlolaNL]

My heart breaks. Especially when you said “last miscarriage video” the fact that you are brave enough to talk about it and help people is inspiring. Thoughts and prayers are with you lady!

[@stellabarnard3623]

I went through a miscarriage, and was left to deal with it on my own. My employer at that time, wouldn't even give me time off, and so I had to go to work the next day. I never had the chance to mourn the loss. I felt so lost and alone, because everyone's life continued on, while mine fell apart. So I want to thank you for this video, and sharing your story with us. I cried with you for the loss of my little one. Lots of love

[@mandaleemilly6367]

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Time off should be mandatory when you’re dealing with trauma like that.

[@laurenzavicar9363]

I’m going through exactly the same thing right now. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you so much healing.

[@mygirldarby]

We need better laws for women. Employers shouldn't be allowed to do what they did to you. I'm so sorry.

[@brooklynphillips9514]

I’m so saddened and angered reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss and mistreatment

[@stellabarnard3623]

Thank you everyone. I feel miscarriage just gets swept under the rug and is a taboo subject. I'm glad Rachel decided to share her story on KZbin. Perhaps it'll enlighten others about the trauma of having a miscarriage.

[@connietankersley9514]

I’m currently going through my first miscarriage at almost 9 weeks. No one I’m close with really understands and I’ve felt so lonely. My son is 4 so I was already sad at the thought of them not being close in age. I watched your first video and was heartbroken for you. Now I have a whole other level of empathy for you. You are so kind and brave to share again. Thank you for making me feel heard. We love all the parts about you, happy and sad, and I hope you find peace in some way ❤️

[@ccurtis130]

It’s sounds cliche, but it does get better. It’s never going to be perfect and you will always think about it. But it gets easier to think about. It’s been 12 years since I miscarried twins, but this year I cried on the day I lost them. But I was able to move on after I cried. I wish you well and hope you heal. Just know it’s ok to cry about the loss and grieve. Sending love and prayers.

[@zozoeliza]

i’m so sorry for your loss. sending you love ❤️

[@yektaangel1234]

You are never alone even if it’s not with people close to you just know there’s always someone out there who cares for you even if it’s a stranger. So sorry for your loss👼 your baby will always be watching over you

[@crystalbarfoot]

I'm sending you love and caring. You aren't alone. It's real. And it's ok to grieve. ❤️❤️

[@kathrynduprey3744]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It can feel so isolating especially if those around you don't understand.

[@xpeekabooqtx]

Almost identical situation here-I was due in December and I also had a missed miscarriage. I was pregnant with twins and babies had stopped growing at 9w3d. It was such a horrifying experience, both physically and emotionally. I am also still struggling. Sending warm thoughts your way. You are not alone.

[@Mcmom14]

Hey hun, you’re not alone either. I just went through it too 😢 The most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m sending you lots and lots of love!

[@godstendermercies6394]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I was wondering if you had any covid tests or injections before the miscarriage. 💧♥️

[@brookhall8142]

She is and was your baby. A precious life. We grieve with you.

[@toodlebug8852]

I’m so sorry for your loss. My daughter Chloe was stillborn at 6 months gestation. It’s been 23 years now. I still think of her every day. 💔

[@monanana-04]

I’m so so sorry. How you treasure her and her short life shows what an amazing mother you are❤️

[@saras.6641]

💜

[@dinky..]

I'm so sorry you went through this Michelle 💕 Chloe is a beautiful name 🙏❤

[@foreverNwonder]

😔 I’m so sorry for your loss… my little sister had a miscarriage pretty far into her pregnancy, and her daughter’s name was Chloe too ❤️

[@ItsJustLisa]

My SIL lost our niece at 5 months due to a heart defect. Josie would have been 20 in November.

[@MusicLover7545]

You are a whole person, Rachel. We love the sunny, bright Rachel that we usually see in your videos, but we love this Rachel too. Thanks for sharing your whole self with us

[@brittanymomto4]

I’m rewatching this and wanted to say I lost a baby and it’s been 18 hrs and I’ve learned that you do and can heal. You have to learn to live in a new normal.

[@JuliVibme]

I often watch your content as a safe space, where I can look at this happy woman with a healthy relationship, great husband and kids and a beautiful house. It's a comforting dream but this video reminds me that real life happens when the camera is off. Thank you so much for sharing, take your time

[@joannapenn878]

I just want to hug you through the screen. Can’t imagine what pain you and Chris have gone through. Love to you both. 💗

[@lauren3596]

To everyone in the comments (and Rachel), who have been through this, I am unbelievably sorry. You are truly so strong. Your experience is valid and we see and love you❤️

[@mandypdx]

🙌

[@jenhulslander9084]

I started watching this last week and had to stop myself halfway through because I was so overwhelmed with the fear of losing my baby. I was 11 weeks when I watched it. At my 12 week appointment I found out my baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. I'd already miscarried when I watched it and I think I subconsciously knew already. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and I understand what you're going through as I'm going through it right now. There's nothing worse then trying for a baby and wanting them and not getting to hold them. I've had you in my thoughts a lot, I hope you're continue to cope in healthy ways. ❤

[@meganbaum8832]

This is one of the most difficult things we can go through as women. It isn’t talked about enough and you feel so alone going through the process. Sending hugs your way!

[@amberpitman4163]

Miscarriage is such a tragic, indescribable experience. My heart truly aches for you, having been through it myself at 10 weeks. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. ❤️

[@misSimplicityXx]

I also had a mc at 10 weeks end of May. Currently 9 weeks pregnant again so early after and I’ve been a nervous wreck. Ugh!

[@Glim246]

@@misSimplicityXx Wishing you all the best for a healthy pregnancy. I realize that it is incredibly hard not to worry but if you can find it in yourself to be positive it will help you both stay strong mentally and physically.

[@jacquelineclark9783]

Thank you for sharing. I had a stillborn baby girl three years ago and EVERYONE treats these topics like taboo. No one wants to talk about and it’s heartbreaking. But thank you for being brave and sharing your experience- I believe that sharing these experiences is a way of celebrating that there IS another part of your family. ❤️❤️

[@Belcheryl]

Bless you. I’m sorry sorry that you had to go through that♥️

[@Wiggsalot]

So very sorry for your loss

[@mygirldarby]

I'm so sorry. My best friend had a full-term stillborn. The umbilical cord wrapped around the baby's neck during her labor. When she got to the hospital to give birth she was told there was no heartbeat. They made her give birth naturally. It was her first baby and she was in labor for over 17 hours, knowing he was not alive. I thought it was torture what they did to her. Later the doctor said that had he known how big the baby was he would have done a c section...it was such a nightmare. It was a long time ago but she still grieves and I still grieve for her.

[@ashleighmryd]

I’m so sorry 😢 sending you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

[@cab102361]

I am so very sorry dear. It is most heartbreaking. I cannot understand not having going through this myself. But my heart hurts for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take your time to grieve and don’t rush the process. We love you and you will have many people praying for you.

[@singwithjoy91]

I've never commented on a KZbin video before, but I wanted to say thank you for this. All of the moms who have even an inkling of what you have just been through are standing with you and crying with you. You have kept me company through a military move away from family and two rounds of post partum mood disorder and I am so grateful for the brightness I feel when I see you post a new video. We are here because you are real with us. Much love to you and Chris on your journey.

[@roxannemarie7513]

take your time healing, there is no "correct" time frame we will be here whenever you get back

[@cherylmorton2316]

We lost our little boy at 20 weeks and have never really recovered, 12 years later. I kept all my emotions to myself and found it very difficult to talk to my friends and family about it for fear of upsetting them, with hindsight I should have been brave enough to show my emotions as I feel this would have helped with the healing. My heart goes out to you and Chris, you are a beautiful soul with a beautiful heart and I admire your bravery in speaking up about your experiences in losing a baby, I feel if I had listened to your words when it happened to me, it would have given me the courage to speak up, God bless you and your beautiful family and I pray for happiness in the future xx

[@ashleybartels3355]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's helpful for me to remember "grief is love with nowhere to go". Your grief is all the love you have for your girl over flowing.. sending you and Chris all the love.

[@gailflora1835]

Your comment is so true. I gave the love I had for my stillborn baby to hundreds of women by reaching out after their own pregnancy loss.

[@mrspokitstheriot477]

That phrase speaks to me and I hope I never forget it.

[@crystalillig20]

Oh Rachel. I'm soo sorry that you've gone through this twice and had to make this video twice.💙❤ We love you! From one angel Mama to another, all the thoughts in the world!

[@delilamartinez9633]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my son back in March and I sometimes feel like I haven’t fully grieved. I had him at 23 weeks and I got to watch him grow for 2 months before he passed. I love and miss him so much.

[@debbieversteeg2407]

Sorry for your loss. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

[@kristinraeee]

I’ve had 2 miscarriages. It’s such a hard thing to go through. I waited to try and miscarry naturally but wound up having to have surgery both times. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Much love and support to you ❤️

[@ThatBetchEllie]

I waited too after having 2 missed miscarriages and it never happened so they gave me these pills to stick up my vajay and that moved it along within 24 hrs

[@viciouslady7482]

I’ve had 1 miscarriage and thankfully it happened naturally. I had no idea these type of complications could happen. At the time, I was also oblivious of how long it took to miscarry. I thought “either you’re pregnant or you miscarry” it felt so awful being in that grey-area stage for 2 weeks waiting for my body to let go.

[@CLOUDTHOUGHT]

I was told my baby did not have a heartbeat during our sonogram appointment for the gender reveal. This was 8 years ago this August and I have never been able to get pregnant again. I still cry silently about it because everyone thinks I should have “gotten over it”. You never get over it; you just learn to live with the pain. I am so sorry you went through this. My heart goes out to you my love. 😔💓🦋

[@gelarehmohebbi]

Ugh gosh that is so awful, I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. It's the most painful thing and no one should tell you otherwise.. I got pregnant in 2019 but at the time I didn't tell anyone- except the father, of course - bc my sister had finally gotten pregnant after trying for 4 years and I had gotten t pregnant after only 2 weeks of being off birth control when my BF and I weren't even wanting kids at that time... So I felt like it would be cruel of me to announce that I was pregnant since it'd happened pretty easily for me even though I wasn't trying when it had been so difficult and painful for my sister. Idk why I thought that though bc I know my sister would've been SO happy for me and she would've loved if we were pregnant at the same time. Unfortunately, I miscarried at 19 weeks and it was sooo much harder than I ever could have anticipated. A part of you dies and then there is a void in your heart and soul. Anyone telling you that you should be over it has got to be ashamed of themselves! None of my family told me to get over it BUT if I ever bring up my baby that has passed my mom will tell me not to say anything around my sister bc it will upset her... I'm like okay but what about me and my upset feelings??! It's just not a nice thing to ever minimize the trauma and pain of a mother who's lost their baby. I hope you know that you are always justified in your feelings of grief, even if it's a lifelong grief, which sadly for parents who have lost their babies it most definitely is. 🤧🤧 (Luckily my sister had her miracle baby and two years later another bundle of love and I'm the happiest aunt in the world!!! Those two are my entire life and the love I have for them is immeasurable!!)

[@rileyrodgers3758]

My heart aches for you. I’ve had a full term still born and a miscarriage. The grieving is some of the most intense things I’ve ever been through. It’s been 2 years since my daughter passed and I’m still grieving. Sending you so much love right now 💜

[@traceyleeherrera5247]

So sorry for your loss, full term still born breaks my heart for mothers/parents 😔

[@wendyraye]

My heart aches for YOU too - I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to suffer such a loss, yet still having to “live life” and keep going. I imagine feeling guilty for feeling any sort of happiness and for the split second your mind is not dwelling, almost like it’s somehow a betrayal to their memories. I feel like they are looking down from Heaven and saying, “It’s ok mama - don’t be sad, it’s not your fault - we chose you and will love you forever.” 💕

[@79Kallie]

I’m so sorry for your loss! I had my daughter at 34 weeks 5 days. She passed away the day after she was born. This has destroyed me.

[@traceyleeherrera5247]

@@79Kallie my heart goes out to you, such a tragic loss 💔 wishing you so much love, support & healing

[@wendyraye]

@@79Kallie I’m so sorry 😢 💔

[@lynnctodd]

This was heart wrenching and I can’t imagine how scary this was to go through. Please take all the time you need. I am so sorry you went through this.

[@Catglittercrafts]

@@youssefhachicha49 miscarriage

[@jessm1309]

@@youssefhachicha49 dude wtf? People don't choose to have a miscarriage. Maybe check a dictionary and delete your stupid comment.

[@nicolacarr1519]

@@youssefhachicha49 dude no need to harsh and disrespectful grow up

[@jessm1309]

@@youssefhachicha49 no, it doesn't. But I can guarantee you already knew that and you're just trolling. One day maybe you'll grow up 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@roxiek888]

@@youssefhachicha49 I’m going to assume you’re a child. A miscarriage is something that the body does on its own, there is no choice in a miscarriage. You’re talking about an ab0rti0n

[@alim3222]

I’m currently going though a miscarriage and your story has given me a sense of comfort knowing other women have been where I am. I am so sorry you are going through this. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this.

[@nikkis7375]

Sending so much love to you. ❤️

[@elliefoust]

I’m so sorry Alice. My heart is with you. Just know that you will get through. It will never be easy or normal, but you are strong and will get through.

[@gnyng88]

Unfortunately this happens way way too often and is not being spoken up enough. I also went through a long miscarriage and the only thing my doctor said we could do was waiting to be over. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you feel better and recover soon.

[@CarmenMc007]

❤️❤️ so sorry.

[@theroadnottaken7]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[@kamimaertz4401]

I’m so sorry you are going thru this. Prayers to you.

[@kaylairwin7044]

I lost my daughter last month… I had went into labor and everything was absolutely fine until two pushes before she was out. Her heartbeat was lost. She had aspirated on meconium. I pushed her out and for 28 minutes they fought to get her heartbeat back and succeeded. Meanwhile I’m bleeding out and nearly died. She was in the NICU for 8 days before it was determined that she wouldn’t recover. Saying goodbye to her has been the hardest thing in my entire life and the grief is unreal. I know exactly what you mean by one day is tough and the other is fine. It makes me scared to try again, she was my only child.

[@sabinajoh]

I’m so sorry

[@caseyg535]

thinking of you and your family! Sending hugs

[@angieto24]

I’m sorry for your loss 🤍🤍

[@HealthNutNutrition]

my heart truly broke when you talked about holding your baby.. I only have one daughter and I cant even imagine going through that experience and loss. I truly wish you and your family so much love and healing.

[@girlandhermakeup4629]

No I’m we

[@dixiehull7192]

I just stopped and prayed with my 13 month old daughter over you and your family. May you seek God in all this. Remember He can handle you screaming, crying, and being mad at Him for allowing this. May God be with you. And what a blessing He gave you to hold your beautiful angel.

[@weetz1992]

I'm just now seeing this and just wanted to say I have felt the same way with my miscarriages. I buried my emotions and just tried to move on since I had so many. I'm currently 6 months pregnant and worry everyday something is going to happen. I wish I had seen this a year ago when I had my last miscarriage it really would have helped me. I love your videos and your personality and I'm so happy that you were able to cope with your loss.

[@baileycornell2189]

I always get upset when creators feel the need to thank their viewers for giving them peace when they are inactive. There's nothing you owe us. There's nothing you have to say regarding your absence, as long as you don't want to. You are allowed to not be there. You're allowed to not put out content. We, as viewers, are not entitled to your life. I can't imagine the trauma of all of this. It's heartbreaking and the fact you were able to sit down and film your story is amazing. There's nothing that can be said or done to make it any better, just know you are heard.

[@Artliker1234]

I think it's because some creators have created a community. Some people likely checked in on her when she took the break. I don't think it's meant necessarily negatively or pressure

[@baileycornell2189]

@@Artliker1234 I understand, I just can't imagine having that much investment without respect. It's awesome to check in, but sometimes space is needed. You know. It's a horrible situation, and I hope her community support helped

[@amydee0074]

I know what you mean, I feel the same way about recession lines at a wake 😞 Having to thank all those people when you feel so heartbroken just doesn’t seem right

[@itsmirandalouise]

All of this. I totally agree. God bless her. 🙏🏻😢💗

[@BeckyA59]

Thank you for saying that, I feel the same, KZbin creators do not owe us their lives!

[@sroo07]

My first pregnancy ended exactly like this, went in for an ultrasound and there was no more heartbeat. It’s the worst feeling in the world when you’re so blindsided. I’m so sorry this happened to you too I wouldn’t wish this on anyone 💕

[@stonesatglasshouses3477]

Recently, I came to terms with the fact that I will never have another child. My son is 15. I’ve suffered from 7 unexplained miscarriages. My last I lost twins at 13 weeks. Having gone through this, I will say the only thing anyone should say- I am so sorry. You are not alone and everything you feel is valid. One thing I have found is that fathers don’t get enough support when a couple suffers a miscarriage. There are some really great books for men to help them to support you but also process their own feelings.

[@anabobana20]

Wow, I'm so sorry you've been through that. I wish I knew you because I don't want to come off as offensive in anyway, but a lot of times miscarriages, especially multiple ones, come from generational curses. Not sure if you believe in that but it's usually demonic. That wasn't the portion the Father had for you at all but the enemy looks for doors to come in to kill, still and destroy. My husband and I cast out demons, and a lot of times they hold on to generational curses and wreak havoc in people's lives.

[@donnyreiss1180]

in n.z after ur third in a row miscarriage they take u for specialised tests to c what the root of the problem is.

[@MsBkboom]

I’m sorry for your loss also. I just want to say my mom miscarried 8 times before having me. I guess you could say I was a miracle baby for my parents. My sister and I have a 6 year difference between us. While isn’t isn’t the biggest we aren’t close. Bit of a shame.

[@MomNTraining]

That is incredibly intense. I’m so sorry you had to deal with such a scary medical situation on top of your grief. I think taking a break was the absolute right call. ❤️

[@nataliaanne5193]

Throughout my years of following you, I've looked up to you like an older sister, or another aunt. Women are so strong, and you sharing your grief and healing journeys is a testament to that. Your baby girl and Michael are surely in Heaven, watching over their beautiful family. Sending lots of love and prayers, and gratitude for opening up like you do ❤️

[@garbagegirlglam8783]

We missed you and my gut told me you were going through it. I’m praying for you and your family if you are ok with that.

[@mrsbird2952]

I just want to say I’m so sorry to hear of your loss of your daughter. The fact that you are brave enough to share such a personal story and struggle…how you got through the pain both physically and mentally gives is a wonderful message of hope for all of us who watch your channel. May God bless you and your family and be with you through this time.

[@bpishner333]

Very well said ma’am god bless you all

[@DoveOfFlames]

Little did I know, 2 months after you posted this, my fiancé and I would lose our first baby. Thank you for posting this. Miscarriage is horrific and it needs to be talked about.

[@tovethecat]

I’m so sorry I hope you are feeling better

[@jessicaw7185]

I am heartbroken that you and Chris have had to go through this again. Thank you for using your platform to help the rest of us learn more about miscarriages. They are more common than we are lead to believe. Thank you for being so open and brave with sharing your experience ❤

[@heatherlynn1016]

You’re right! When I had my miscarriage I thought “what did I do wrong” “what’s wrong with my body?” Because you never hear about miscarriages and how common they are and there’s nothing that we did wrong and our bodies didn’t fail us!

[@stephaniepeebles6350]

@@heatherlynn1016 so true...until u have one and then everyone tells u that they have had one too.

[@CarlaKariott]

Rachel, this is the most important video you’ve made. This will help so many women heal. This is such a hard topic because most women grieve in silence but you have given this the attention it deserves. I’m sorry to you, Chris and your family for your loss. I hope you heal physically and emotionally.

[@KalynNicholson]

I'm so sorry Rachel. You are so strong and resilient in sharing your story. I pray the healing process held you and is still nurturing your heart and soul in all the ways you need ♥️

[@memelondon79]

Ppt ppppppp poop poop poop p poop pppppppppppp poop ppp poop poop pp the best thing to keep me up to

[@memelondon79]

Oh wow I was so sad I missed the last one of you and you

[@jessicaann9027]

Beautifully spoken. ❤️

[@sponton89]

I am so sorry for your loss!

[@hayleydonohue2921]

@@memelondon79 lll

[@rachelgill7579]

I’m so sorry Rachel. I’ve had two miscarriages, but I was never hospitalized. I can’t imagine dealing with the grief on top of the fear of everything else going on.

[@dinky..]

💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@ciaoobelllaxo]

I’m so sorry to hear you went through this. 😢 I absolutely could not imagine how traumatic that must have even .. praying for you during this time! 🤍

[@aneishalopez6669]

Love you so much! I’m keeping you all in prayer and I’m so glad you are in a place where you could share.

[@gillypiexo]

@Miles Doyle well said 👏

[@nicolebeck8997]

We love you ❤️

[@FlorPortas]

Oh god rachel im so sorry, i was here the other time it happened and it just completely breaks my heart to see you like this again. You are a beautiful person and an amazing mom, and you are SO strong. My mom went through something like this before having me, and as far as i know she completely shut that whole experience down, so the fact that you actually held baby and are talking about it now speaks of your incredible strength. Im sending you so so much love♥️

[@meaghanjames2419]

It is so important to increase awareness of these topics, but it’s so hard and awful that people have to go through these challenges and heartbreaks at all. I am so proud of you for putting your mental and physical health first. It’s extraordinarily difficult and doing so can feel worse before it feels better. Thank you for speaking on this heartbreaking topic, and I am so sorry you’ve gone through it twice. I’m sending all my love and positive feelings your way 💜

[@kelseybright9763]

I'm sorry for your loss. That's not an easy thing to go through and you are remarkably strong for going through this and then sharing it with the world. You are 100% correct in that it's ok to not be ok. That's a really hard thing to come to terms with. I appreciate your videos soo much they always make me feel good after a long day. I'm glad you've gotten the help you needed and wish you all the best on your healing journey.

[@wendyschnapa7582]

I am so sorry for your and Chris’s loss. Your baby girl is in God’s loving hands and with Michael having fun. When I had my miscarriage, I had a DNC and didn’t get to see my baby or hold it or find out if it was a boy or girl. I didn’t get to grieve but today I did because of you. So thank you Rachel for helping me grieve and to get through it as I should have then.

[@dinky..]

Sending you love ❤❤❤

[@tofumasterlee117]

Memory Eternal. Baby girl is where there is no more pain, sorrow, or suffering. ♥️

[@jaimedill2467]

Having experienced my own traumatic miscarriage that felt like I was dying (ectopic that burst), I'm happy to hear that you're putting yourself first and valuing your grief because you have every right to that and you need that. All my love, Rachel. I'm sending you the warmest hugs ❤

[@daniellemeverden5382]

My heart breaks watching this. After my miscarriage, I became a different person. It benefited me and I am a better, more understanding person. Me and my newborn rainbow baby send you love and hope during this difficult time

[@michellemckinney8968]

I agree I’ve had 2 miscarriages and 2 healthy babies I haven’t ever been the same one day we will see our 🌈 babies

[@ohgeezhannah]

I resonate so much with this. I am a much softer person after my miscarriage. Grief can do that.

[@nikkiburchett635]

I was so scared you were going through this again when you said you were taking some time off and I hoped and prayed so hard that that wasn't the case. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. Please take your time to grieve and heal. We all love you and want nothing but the best for you.

[@ashleymckenney1197]

I needed to hear this today. I needed someone to tell me that it was ok not to be ok...that it's ok to.feel the big emotions. I lost my grandfather yesterday and I've been so focused on caring for the rest of my family that I've been stuffing down my own feeling about the loss. Thank you for sharing this with your community. We love you. 💙💙💙

[@barbaraveloz1730]

BIG hugs to you. So sorry for your loss

[@ashleymckenney1197]

@@barbaraveloz1730 thank you!

[@gillypiexo]

💙💙💙💚💜

[@rashimomaya567]

Take care of yourself! He may not be with you today but the ones who we love never really leave us. They’re with us everyday, unseen, unheard but so very loved, so very dear!

[@donnalayne2395]

So sorry for your loss I hope you are doing ok💕

[@karadorsey2300]

The strength you have for posting this is amazing. From a therapist, you'd make a really good therapist. Youre so open with your thought processes and feelings and how you're coping. I am so sorry youre going through this again but i hope you know how amazingly strong you are. Take all the time you need, any breaks, you are the most important.

[@truthseekr9115]

First, I want to offer my condolences on your loss. I have lost 2 myself. I won't say that I know how you feel, because everybody's loss and pain is individual to them. I just recently come across your channel this last week and have watched several of your videos. So when you thanked viewers for watching your channel and hearing you get emotional, i got a lump in my throat. I'm not sure if I was subscribed before, but I'm hitting that now. Sending prayers for continued healing and hugs.

[@heather8632]

Oh sweet girl. I’m crying with you. I had a very traumatic ectopic pregnancy a few months ago, with internal bleeding and emergency surgery. So I very much can relate. Please take care of yourself. Allow yourself the time to grieve and heal. ❤️ Thank you for this video. There are many of us, unfortunately, but there is comfort in knowing there are others with similar stories

[@ukomdesign]

I had an ectopic pregnancy 7 years ago and it breaks my heart every time I think about it. I had a surgery. We named our baby althought it didn't implant in the right place it was still a baby. I feel that this topic is not spoken about at all because I have never heard about it before it happened to me.

[@maithileekajale5176]

I'm so sorry Rachel. I recently lost 2 people who were really close to my heart and honestly, I shut everyone out. I haven't opened up in front of anyone, I just couldn't, and I have been feeling lonely. I cried with you throughout the video and now I realise how much I needed this. Sending you all the love Rachel. The RachhLoves fam laughs and cries together ❤️

[@GreenVenus]

I feel the need to clarify that my "like" on this video is purely to help your channel stats. My condolences to you and your husband, may you find healing and peace in your own time.

[@latetotheparty4785]

Thank you for saying what happened, and thank you for coming back to us.

[@MurrAnDur]

I’m so sorry that you went through this. I lost my first baby in a similar way that you did. I was traumatized and searched out videos like this as a way to feel understood and not so lonely. They helped me process. It’s such an important thing to talk about. Often women feel like they are supposed to push it down to not make others uncomfortable. Thank you for making a video on such a difficult topic and helping women that are also experiencing a loss. I pray for your healing and every woman suffering through this.

[@valeriesue2011]

I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. I experienced and missed miscarriage last year, I was 19 weeks along and it’s something that no one should have to go through. I wish you healing in your heart.

[@jessicad.2937]

My heart goes out to you. I have two angel babies. My social support was non existant both times, even from my doctors. To this day, I still don't know the gender of babies and was never able to see and hold them. Thank you for making this video and being a voice for all the moms and dads who lost babies too soon. Your first video helped me so much during my last miscarriage because I watched and felt like someone finally understood and validated what I was feeling. Sending love to you and Christopher in this time of your loss. ❤

[@kristykushmaul2917]

I’m praying for you and Chris. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heartache. We love you! Take all the time you need!! We will be here when you’re ready!

[@juliamcgrath5623]

I wish I could hug you! I had a missed miscarriage with twins at 12 weeks and had to have a DNC and again just over a year ago and went through the process at home and it was the most painful experience on earth mentally and physically. Know you’re not alone ❤️ you’re such a strong empowering woman

[@TinyTaco14]

I lost my daughter when I was 7.5 months along so I know your pain. Sending you all of my love 💜

[@Laurel608]

Awe, you and Chris have my love and support❣️ Michael now has a sibling in Heaven❣️

[@samanthasellers7473]

Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this. I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks in May, and man is it soul crushing. Our friends’ who were pregnant with us just had their baby, and I’m so excited and happy for them, but it brings big feelings as we won’t be welcoming ours earthside. Another announced their pregnancy last night. I woke up to this today, and it reminded me I’m not alone and it is okay to feel all the big emotions while celebrating for others ♥️

[@danikathomas1559]

As someone who is trying for another baby this breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing this part of your life, sending you all my love and 10 thousand hugs

[@brettcorten]

I feel so connected to you right now. I had a missed miscarriage this week.. we’re healing and grieving right now about our first baby. All our love to you and your family Rachel. I feel your pain ❤️

[@BSWVI]

Hugs to you both.

[@caseyg535]

thinking of you and your family! Sending hugs

[@sherryryniak4506]

You’re an exceptionally strong woman for talking about & realizing taking care OF YOU is such an important part of the grieving process, understanding that crying is okay, laughing is okay….yes, we have to move forward for the sake of not only our loved ones but mostly the sake of our own well being, not moving “on,” but forward in our life’s journey 😊 I lost my daughter at 32 years young couple years ago & I guess thru witnessing others that had that same tragedy happen in their lives get “stuck,” not dealing with this emotional roller coaster of the grieving process, I realized there truly is nooo easy way, we must go through, NOT AROUND, our grieving, there’s no other way to heal healthy unless 😢 as I said, you’re a beautiful, strong woman, sooo important you take care of Y-O-U & it’s a testament of just how much strength you truly have down deep to be able to share your heartache with so many others 😊 I’m sooo truly sorry for your loss, I feel your pain 😢 many blessings to you & your family 😇 you go girl, you’ve got this 🙏🏼

[@Emmagarden2]

Sending you good energy Rachel! Take all the time you need, we’re here when you’re ready. Never be afraid of taking time.

[@karahope8249]

‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." ’ Numbers 6:24-26 Praying for you in your grief and healing process Rachel. 🙏

[@danielleebert2466]

I had a miscarriage in July and it was the most painful and heartbreaking experience, it was my first pregnancy as well 🥺. Thanks for sharing your experience, it makes people like me feel heard and validated 🥺

[@abbigailsmith7412]

My first pregnancy was in 2014 and it resulted in a miscarriage as well.. one of the most painful and heartbreaking things I have ever been through and till this day it hurts just as much as it did back then.. so I know how both of you feel. Much love to you both and hope you guys heal💕

[@nicolebailey5201]

I miscarried in February and it was also my first pregnancy. My due date was October 18 and as that’s getting closer it’s getting harder and doesn’t feel real. I’m so sorry to every one who has to go through it.

[@AllanaLeigh]

Huh? I'm going to say thank you for your kind words to rachel, even though I just recently started watching all of her videos. Thank you also for reminding me that the internet does not have to be a place full of gossip and hurt and it can be full of kindness and love. I haven't been on the internet in years we've been on the internet just not on social media, and all the love outpouring towards Rachel and the way that she's hoped to me without knowing it; may be teaching me a lesson. Thank you kindly.

[@JessNV]

Oh Rachel, I’m so sorry. I completely relate to feeling uncomfortable feeling intense emotion and grief, been going through some hard times and this is a great reminder of how important it is to let my body feel that emotion. My prayers are with you and your family.

[@brittanytate3234]

Thank you for sharing so many intimate details of your life with us. I hope this video finds the kindness of others. We love you Rachel! Thank you for being such an inspiration always!!

[@KrissyBug91]

Praying for you and Chris during this season. And I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this twice. I had a miscarriage back in 2017 and we still thank God for him in our prayers every night. Your little girl will be there waiting for you 💜.

[@Deanna417]

I had a friend who miscarried a few years ago and she still struggles with it but refuses to go to therapy. It’s hard watching someone hurt like that and not know how to help them. And knowing that they won’t help themselves. I’m glad you figured it out and are doing the work. And I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s astounding how common miscarriages actually are but it feels like nobody talks about it or like it’s not that big of a deal. But it really is trauma, physically and mentally.

[@mlchris]

I’m so sorry for your loss Rachel. I was truly hoping this was not why you took a break. As someone said below, grief is like the ocean. There’s not always strong waves of grief, but ride the waves when they’re there and they will get easier to ride. We love you. Take breaks if you need to. Focus on your family!

[@robynleeanne6165]

I’m so sorry for your loss Rachel. I lost my daughter at 6 months pregnant and it’s not an easy thing. You’re so strong for sharing your story! Sending much love towards you and your family ❤️❤️

[@bettydangelillo1141]

I went into premature labor at one week shy of 6 month with my son and he passed after 3 hours of being held and loved by his dad and I

[@karmelalaydi6722]

م

[@Inna_98]

As a very young person this has always been a big fear I've had, miscarriages have always been present in my family, my grandma went through the same experience and she recently shared the full story with me, but I still can't imagine the pain and grief that you must have felt, so I wanted to thank you so much for being able to share it and talk about it, you have been a role model for me as a very strong and persevering woman and this just solidifies that belief, sending you all the love and strength to you and your family ❤

[@dianaw4072]

I hate that you understand it as a witness to the grief and pain. I'm so sorry your family has gone thru that. Please don't let it stop you from becoming a mommy, though:) You can always do testing before hand to rule anything genetic out. Insurance typically pays for those kinds of tests. If you don't have an obgyn you love, find one that will listen to your fear and will help make sure your body is ready for when the time comes. Sometimes it just happens, but if it's prevalent in your family, it might be something that can be remedied ahead of time so you can enjoy the experience without the fear. 💓💓 My heart goes out to you.. my boys that were born 1st, aka my sunshine babies, are in your shoes. I know it affects y'all, too. 💔💓

[@amieparham7657]

I had 4 wonderful pregnancies, and then lost one. It was one of my absolute biggest fears and for a while I was so terrified. The thing is, we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, and although no one wants it, or wishes it to happen, if it does, you will recover. Not easily, maybe not quickly, but it does get better. Don't let the fear of a loss prevent you from trying for a child when the time is right. ♥️

[@dianaw4072]

@@amieparham7657 so true! Even though our hearts will never be the same, they can be stitched back together and healing can happen. 💓 I'm sorry for your loss, Amie! It's a shock to the whole mind, body and spirit when you have one after having had healthy babies, isn't it?

[@adrisan88]

I am not even halfway through, but I’m really, really sorry you had to go through this. My heart goes out to you and your family. You have brought fun and laughter to many of us during hard times; I certainly missed you on your break, but was hoping you were doing ok. I wish you the best in your healing process and hope you take all the time you need to be surrounded by the love of your family.

[@jeepersjava]

Eight months ago I had a miscarriage that lasted three weeks. It was the most painful and scary thing I’ve ever experienced and I went through it in secret because I hadn’t told anyone I was pregnant. Miscarriage is a trauma not talked about enough. Everyone needs to know that it’s not like it is on TV and different for every pregnancy. We are all thankful for you being brave and sharing your story.

[@Stephanie-vq7yr]

I’m so very sorry for your loss. I had an ectopic pregnancy this spring and was due in December as well. I’m crying with you right now. I had emergency surgery after my Fallopian tube burst and I started bleeding out. You are not alone. I’m still grieving, it still hurts. But it does get easier every day. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. You are so strong. ❤️❤️❤️

[@RebeccaBrysonMUA]

I’m so sorry Rachel, I hope you and Chris are grieving and healing together 💕

[@kaylahutchings5685]

I’ve been in similar situations with near death hemorrhaging, hospitalization, miscarriage, and trying to cover up the pain and fear. Obviously, I will never understand exactly how you feel or what you guys personally experienced. But I just wanted to add my voice that feeling the sorrow, occasional “okayness” hate, happiness, despair, etc randomly is healthy. And therapy was a literal lifesaver for me and help in figuring out how to process these various emotions. Love to you and your family 💕💙

[@lizziesopp]

I'm so sorry for yours and Chris' loss of your baby girl, Rachel. You're so brave and strong to share your story to help others. Sending lots of thoughts and love to you and your family ❤

[@lizzielose]

i’m so sorry you had to live this again, take all the time you need!!!

[@littledoe1617]

This was something I needed to hear today. I’ve had a lot of trauma as well and when you describe “the brick” it just clicked for me. Because, I am someone who just wants to move on and carry on as well. The vulnerability and honesty you showed today is very important for us all. You’re human just like us, and deserve to grieve in your own healthy way. Thank you Rachel! Sending much love to you and your family!

[@pigglepower]

I remember when y’all had the first one and when y’all shared that. It’s definitely important to make space for the time you need to heal and mourn. The whole community you’ve created over the years will still be here for y’all when you get back. We love you 💙

[@gracesticozzi242]

So sorry to hear about your loss and experience 🙁 I too had my own experiences and yes you are right when you say " it's ok not to be ok or to feel ok at times". From one stranger to another, from one women to another, I send you a big hug. 😊

[@vicvickyvic]

Rach, hearing this was unbelievably hard, and I can’t even begin to imagine what you and yours are going through. Just hope you know we’re all here for you, sending you all the love and good vibes possible. Hope you can heal and feel better soon. All the love from Uruguay 🇺🇾

[@sarahpoitras85]

Oh Rachel my heart breaks for you and your family. I've been there, although not nearly as scary as yours ( I thankfully had a smooth delivery of my 17 week gestational little girl), and the healing process is so important in experiences like this. Thank you for sharing your story. It's ok to not be ok, and it's ok to be ok. ❤️

[@donnalayne2395]

I am so sorry for your loss as well I hope you are doing well.

[@VictoriaBC610]

This is truly heartbreaking.. :( was crying with you.. But so glad you're on the road of recovery both physically and mentally. This is definitely a very traumatic experience and good for you, for taking the time to grieve and heal (also very scary for Chris, I'm sure! I work in healthcare and know too well how things happen REALLY quick when someone goes down like that!.. and super scary for the family member witnessing all that.. So I hope Chris is doing well as well).

[@ThruTheLukingGlass17]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is one of the worst pains a parent can experience. Losing a child through miscarriage is no exception. I understand what you’re going through. I’ve had multiple miscarriages (I had D&Cs) and then I had a stillborn son at 8 ½ months along. I didn’t grieve in a healthy way. I turned very bitter toward other pregnant women. I had had so many pregnancies and nothing to show for it. The doctors told me I would most likely never carry a baby to term. Then when I was 29 I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, baby boy. He’s been the absolute light of my life and I thank God every day for him. When I was 32 I had to have an emergency hysterectomy and that was hard as well bc I would’ve loved Grady to have a sibling. However, I’m so grateful for him and cherish every moment of being a mother. He’s 11 now and he’s an amazing child. ❤️❤️ I’ll keep you in my prayers!

[@shelbidickson8244]

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You are a truly powerful woman and momma to have made it through all of that!

[@dianalavric8621]

😂😂😂

[@morgs81001]

My heart breaks for you, Rachel. I remember when you shared your story for sweet baby Michael with us, i’m so sorry you have had so much heartache. Thank you for having the courage and strength to share your story. I am covering you, Chris and your family in prayer for healing, strength and peace🤍