Raising Healthy Masculine Men | 10 Things Modern Parents Forgot

[@morganleroyer2251]

Thank you so much for talking about this! I have four boys as well and the constant push that boys and men are bad is absolutely heartbreaking! I would love to hear more of your take on raising boys to become wonderful strong men!

[@HiFamLife]

@@morganleroyer2251 🙌 four boys club 🙌 totally heartbreaking, I agree… let me know which aspects you’d like me to expand on!

[@OrianaOsta]

Girl! You are on fire! So spot on.. I have 2 baby boys and just yesterday my husband and I were saying that we don't really know how to raise them as good men. I grew up with 2 sisters and my husband is amazing but he was raised also mainly by women.. So we need methodology, specially in this crazy upside-down society we live in.. Thanks again for your hard work and your decisiveness to share light💪👏👏

[@HiFamLife]

@@OrianaOsta oh I’m so glad it hit right 😊 the in depth step by step methodology is what I teach inside the Studio membership - but hopefully this video is a good starting off point! 💪

[@sabrinarigodanzo1016]

I love this video. I’m sick and tired of this “woke” influenced parenting style. Thanks for the tips, I have definitely learned a few new techniques that I’ll be using with my boys. My husband, who’s the best man I ever met (I lost my father when I was a baby), is a masculine, respectful, chivalrous man and I chose him for those qualities. He also became an amazing father, and that’s what I’d like for my boys too.❤ Anyway, I’m sure this is not for everyone, but as a more “olf fashioned” kid of woman, this definitely hit the spot! Thank you so much! Xx

[@EmilyDawn6]

Yes!! Don't just make a Part 2, make this a SERIES! I have 1 son (firstborn) and 3 daughters. He's almost 9yo and values his guy friends so much bc he can play rough with them better as his equals. Our girls play fairly rough, too, but totally not the same. We are raising our son with every one of the things you mentioned, but it's really good to be reminded and supported that we're doing right by him, by his future family, and by the world he will impact! Thank God he has an incredible roll model in my husband, his father 💙🙌🏻

[@HiFamLife]

@@EmilyDawn6 awesome!! 🙌 🤩 💪 love to hear that. Let me know what topics you would want covered Jon that SERIES idea 😉

[@MissEricaAnn]

Wow. Spot on! thanks for being a voice for common sense in the craziness that is the parenting world these days :)

[@HiFamLife]

@@MissEricaAnn ha! Common sense - that’s the biggest compliment these days!

[@LinaSaroza]

So brave to put this out there. Felt like it somehow gave me permission to so many things that were blurry

[@HiFamLife]

@@LinaSaroza so cool to hear that Lina! Would love to hear examples if any come to mind? 🤗

[@messas3406]

In a world where knowledge is exhaustive ,thank you for taking us back to basics

[@HiFamLife]

@@messas3406 aww what a lovely way of putting it 🥰

[@analynroiz6570]

As a mom of twin boys, I feel like this video was a breath of fresh air. I learned a lot and am sharing this video with my husband ❤

[@Eeevvee]

this kind of advice is everywhere already. And so is air.

[@sonjawinkler6023]

This was very interesting, especially the point with guns 🔫 I never saw it that way... I would love to see the same videos about girls❤ Thank you Avital for your amazing work❤

[@HiFamLife]

@@sonjawinkler6023 a feminine girls video is coming your way soon 😉 and yes, we love nerf guns and water guns in our house!

[@krissycus]

I've struggled with my middle boy, who is so highly sensitive and so hard on himself. He does wallow and complain more than my other kids. We've done gentle parenting of sorts throughout, and I"ve seen some good fruit. But it has fallen short for us. Recently, my husband listened to him complain about being cold, and then said simply, "Man up." I was shocked , we never talk to him that way. But that was an aha moment - we need to be intentional about raising this whiney boy into a man.

[@angelinebarlas2941]

Loved this! Thank you for sharing, I would love to hear a part 2!

[@enfant00x]

I love these videos of yours! ❤ I also love you referencing Jordan Peterson’s advise for raising mentally healthy boys - both encouraging rough-and-tumble play, as well as teaching them to ”tame the beast”. Boys and young men need to embrace their inner darkness, to control their innate aggression so that it does not control them. At the same time they need to know that they can and may still use those aspects of themselves to protect the people he loves if it ever becomes necessary. As a clinical psychologist I also completely agree that we need to teach our boys how to handle their negative emotions in constructive ways, which is just another reason why fathers are so important in young boys’ lives. It is difficult for us as women to teach them this when there aren’t any positive male role models in the home; the boy will know he should not emulate his mother’s female way of emoting, but if there is no one there to teach him a healthy male way of emoting, that’s when you get an unhealthy male way of expressing emotions, whether that be shutting down emotionally and/or suppressing emotions entirely, or being overly emotional and acting out. Having more than one son really does make you appreciate just how different they all are as individuals. I think part of why we have these problems, this crisis of masculinity if you will, is because families are not as intact, nor as big as they used to be. Almost every woman used to have a present father and at least one brother. Growing up with a mother and a father, as well as at least one opposite-sex sibling is probably the best way to understand how men and women differ from each other, while maintaining respect for both sexes. I would love more videos like this. ❤

[@HiFamLife]

@@enfant00x 🤗 another beautiful piece of feedback, thank you 🤩

[@karolinagawinska8658]

Yes and no for this video...while many of the concepts are true, it is also true that "men should protect us from crimes" that mostly men cause.. While discipline and self-control are crucial these days, I don't think that being a soldier is the best way to learn it. There is a bit too much military world and patriarchy for me here, which sounds like "old-times" nostalgia. It could work well in some circumstances, but it is also what mostly shapes the world we live in. And I think there is space for improvement.

[@donnamahon8579]

I am completely on board with these ideas of encouraging the particular things. I'd love to hear more about the nuance of some categories, and how you feel they relate at different ages. I remember you did a big explainer of play schemas at different ages once. Risk, for example... Aside from all the age appropriate risks (IMO), my son is encouraged (by another adult guide) to take risks to a level I'm not comfortable with and dont believe his skill/maturity/brain is ready for. The conflicting approach confuses him. It leads to a lot of conflict with us. He wants to be left alone to just take any and all risk and deal with the consequences later. My new perspective is that navigating these differences will be an advantage for him, and I'm hoping he can choose then which he feels is right for him. This has come from reflecting on a recent deep dive you did and it really has helped me be able to sit with the differences, rather than fight them. I'm leaning into my role as a leader to mentor my values and life skills and away from the internal conflict over which is right or wrong and the temptation to cave in and allow the things that I don't agree with. Thanks for the great thinking points and positive influence, Avital 🤔 🦋

[@lisas2359]

This was (as usual) a fantastic video, with truly thoughtful and important insight. I would love to hear more on this topic!

[@HiFamLife]

Thanks so much for the feedback, let me know if there's something in particular you'd want to know more about 🤗

[@saralouise9341]

Ok I know this is an old show and may be hard to find but I love the dad in Family Matters. He is caring and masculine and a police officer and shows a good model of a father and masculinity. It is a stark difference from most sitcoms where the dad is kind of seen as the dufus that the mom has to manage just as much as the children.

[@jennanichols3159]

Loved that show and that father!

[@Rorise28]

I follow your work with interest and I appreciate the way you explain basic truths that modern society seam to have forgotten. Thank you for this video!

[@HiFamLife]

Awww, thanks, what a lovely way of wording it! Appreciate this 🤗

[@greenhills6168]

Thank you! Keep the subject, please. It is of highest importance for both genders

[@jenniferdouglas-craig1095]

This is spot on. Thank you!

[@HiFamLife]

@@jenniferdouglas-craig1095 🙌 thanks for watching

[@2snipe1]

Avital, my recommendations for great male role models: Nick Freitas, and Jocko Willic. Awesome guys!

[@amandalynch9567]

As a mom of 5 sons, I love to hear people lifting up these positive male qualities! I want to raise my sons to be godly, kind and gentle while being brave, protective and strong. It is such an honor to see my sons turning into amazing young men! My prayer is that they will be the kind of men that make people feel respected and safe. Thank you for the encouragement and advice.

[@danielae.9894]

Very helpful and 100% important in society nowadays!!🔥

[@BSmeansBlueSalad]

This was amazing and inspiring! Especially the role models part. Great ideas. I have a 6 year old and 1 year old. Both boys. I was raised in a house of girls so I’ve been seeing so many things that were different when it comes to boys as children versus girls. Thank you.

[@HiFamLife]

@@BSmeansBlueSalad so glad it’s helpful!! Those are some lucky boys 😉 💪 🙌

[@natashyas4149]

Yes plz do a part 2! I have three kids - two girls and a the youngest is a boy. It's definitely a shift! Please share your wisdom! ❤❤

[@MichaelaŠancová]

I have 4 boys as well! Could you please sometimes expand on how to deal with feminized school environment where any of the things you mentioned are prohibited?

[@SarahMarie-j2n]

I hear an undertone of extreme anxiety in your voice. It is your job to make food for your children & drive them around, it is your job as a mother to do those things until you can no longer claim them as dependents on your taxes. Sure teach them life skills, but don't put your responsibilities as a mother, on to them. I agree that raising strong confident boys is important, but I don't think I could ever allow a 12 year old child to jump out of an airplane & I don't feel that a 9 or 11 year old child should ever be going anywhere by themselves. Just because your boy does taekwondo does not mean he could actually protect himself against someone who was trying to abduct him. There is a healthy balance between teaching a boy to be strong & independent & happily throwing your child to the wolves. If your son gets married someday and his wife becomes very ill, you don't want him to look at her without any compassion, & declare that shes already had 10 whole minutes of care from him and that's "more than enough" You want him to be gentle & patient with her & help her heal, no matter how long it takes. You have to let people feel their emotions to the degree that they need to feel them, not just until it starts making you uncomfortable.

[@charmainebock3079]

Hi Thanks for sharing❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@elgabenedicta]

💯💯💯💯💯💯 As a mom of 3 boys and 1 girl, I agree with you 100% I want my boys to be a good and brave and courageous protector as they are created by God to be!

[@HiFamLife]

@@elgabenedicta love those goals! 🙌🙌🙌

[@angelagokool9514]

Thanks for the video! Now, I know that in this day and age, there's been a lot of emphasis on encouraging girls to be strong, confident, independent women, but we also need to encourage boys to be strong, confident, independent men, as well. I have a bachelor's degree in Sociology, with Honors, and I took a Feminist Theory class, and one of the things we learned is that feminism isn't just about women's rights; it's about equal rights. Males are as equally important as females. Also, there are plenty of male feminists, these days. And men and women can be strong together, by forming equal and loving relationships, with their partners, families, and friends. Children of both genders should also learn to be respectful of others, as well.

[@honorbailey]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟vídeo.Your four sons are so blessed to have a beautiful and bright mother.They should teach this in schools for emotional intelligence.So sad to see men in their 40s and 50s unemployed living with their aging mother and no proper life of their own.Those young little boys are our future leaders….like you said…..we need them …. as confident doctors,soldiers, teachers…..we need them to understand their own self worth and reason their here for their happiness and ours.

[@gabrielakarl3859]

I have 5 kids. The last two, boys, are 6 and 8 and know how to start a fire in 4 different ways. They know the rules and are supervised, but id rather teach them how to learn things in a safe environment than feel incapable. They take thinga apart, and they love tools. They refused to play with Legos and they feel those are for babies. It's much harder to parent this way, but it's worth it. I teach them to cook (my 6 year old makes his own smoothies and has his own appliances 😂), to do laundry and to clean. I want my boys to make excellent partners one day.

[@tamekah9848]

Great video. Thanks!

[@carlyvgates]

Lots of thoughts. I agree that we should discontinue the narrative that men are 'bad' and potentially 'punishing them for the sins of their fathers', as you can see that alienation just pushes them into accepting arms of those with unscrupulous intent. However, I do think it's worth them knowing how it's been in the past. Perhaps there's a way to neutrally share how we've gotten to where we are. Pointing out situations where sexism or racism occur (even without using those words if you prefer). Teaching them to stand up to bullies (as you suggest) even when the bully looks like you and/or the bullied doesn't. It's obviously worthwhile teaching young men how to treat others, I also think it's worthwhile to point out when some men/people don't and what that looks like as well as the potential short and long term consequences. These are great entry points for meaningful conversations and critical thinking/mindset work. Thanks.

[@gabrielamcb9157]

Great subject ❤

[@crystalsharp7370]

A book series that has positive undertones of masculinity, adventure, sacrifice, and responsibility is The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson.

[@gdoski]

You mentioned you were part of the military..out of curiosity did you serve the IDF?

[@SwissMissSD]

She’s Israeli. Appears to have moved safely back to the U.S. 🧐

[@gdoski]

@ kzbin.info/www/bejne/l2nRhZR4aKdrmZYsi=SRNDjfHfp1j9n5fM shes a zio

[@samu6874]

Why would anyone discourage boys looking up to soldiers, 1st responders? The values are spot on! What else do you want for your kids?

[@Ganylil]

Great topic

[@jasminevandelaar2672]

My son is 7 now and I've used gentle parenting since he was born. But I'm noticing he is 'fragile'. And I feel so regretful that I have caused it with the way I have been parenting. Do you think it is possible to help him now even though hes already through his core developmental years?

[@HiFamLife]

@@jasminevandelaar2672 yes it’s absolutely still possible! This is a great time to start holding high expectations and firm boundaries - much easier and more possible than when he’s a teen…!

[@woodstocksdiys8158]

Great great Video 🎉

[@missclover7781]

16:58 i cant find this video! I would love to watch it! What is the name of it?

[@HiFamLife]

Oops! My bad, sorry! It's being published soon.. stay tuned!

[@Michelle_Westdam]

I love this video and I would like to share some excellent positive male-role model films to consider: - Follow me Boys - Ol' Yeller and Savage Sam - The Adventures of the Wilderness Family - Where the red fern grows - Shenandoah - Life is Beautiful - For greater glory

[@Blazenkakolacic1229]

when someone says that children should not be given a toy gun and that they should not play thief and police, for example because it's cruel, and those same people who say that let children play TV games that are much crueler and that have a lot of sexual content, for example where the girls are practically dressed in bikinis (which reveal more of the body than hides it) and are armed to the teeth, it gives me a headache!

[@sabahnichole]

Any christian books or videos that inpire masculinity for boy's?

[@aeneas116116]

💯

[@Eeevvee]

I'm gonna be that one commenter you knew you'd get... what about "how to raise healthy sensitive, kind men"

[@nothinglikeburntvag]

If you watch ANY of her other videos her parenting style is basically catered to being kind and healthy. She already has that down.

[@surlespasdondine]

that is a no brainer especially coming from her.

[@HiFamLife]

@@Eeevvee lol but did you watch?! I honestly think those ideas are embedded in this video too.

[@Emirichan317]

If you're the one commenter, perhaps it's not something that needed covering in this video. This video is how to raise healthy men. Overly sensitive men will leave on a whim, cheat on a whim, hit a woman on a whim, do what their feelings tell them. You don't want that. She is correct that boys need the things she's talking about, and what is healthy for women is NOT always what is healthy for men. But if you have ever watched her channel, you know your concerns are what the vast majority of her videos have been about. She is very much about connective and emotionally aware parenting.

[@donnamahon8579]

Really interesting points about overly sensitive men​@Emirichan317, Thanks for sharing. That really has me thinking.... I guess in your examples, they are men who cave into their fears and desires rather than tolerating them and choosing a path that serves them/others better and fits with social expectations.

[@bgranger_842]

The approach of this video pisses me off. These features are useful for both boys and girls but your idea of encouraging this on boys but not doing it on girls is just disgusting.

[@Genie519]

Quoting Jordan Peterson….this video is not for me. Pass.

[@Emirichan317]

Bye. Don't let the door hitcha on the way out.

[@zubeidafester1173]

Yeah. Me too .totally not a fan of JP..cringed there for a moment ..yuck..but i still like her topics tho...

[@katie8325]

@@ack153I have kids. Jordan Peterson is scum. Hope that helps.

[@katie8325]

@@Emirichan317mature

[@stevesayers2471]

She's quoted him So shes a fan of Jordan herself