How do you make it happen without a fight ? 😅

My daughters are adults now and the only time I have ever loathed them was when they tell me that they hate their children. And I say...why did you have them? If other people’s children have annoyed you then why did you think it would be different with your own? It’s not the children that have issues, it’s you.

I always just dismiss all those things that don't fit with authoritative parenting as being not authentically gentle parenting, but you're right there are a lot of people who really don't want to place those boundaries. And truthfully it is a huge struggle for me too, both my parents were permissive, and I find it so hard to set boundaries at times. I am blessed to have a highland who leans the other way though, so we help each other to do better. Thank you for your common sense!

She has alot Of experience

Good advice

OMG!!! The last part of your video is exactly what i felt about gentle parenting can result to. And the reflections in the comments section reiterates that clearly there are a lot of parents who have the same feeling and that I was not alone in my opinion.

LOVE!

😇✨✨ Thanks1000🙏💐💫

I ended up on your channel while browsing trough other videos, and I didn't realize until now that you were the author of how to talk to little kids so they will listen! I really like it

Needed this reminder, but also important to share the responsibility.

Avital, I love you for confronting this issue as often as you do. I hope they don't come for you with torches and pitchforks because you're so right!

We are basically at the mercy of how our kids decide to behave. This video didn’t change that, for me at least.

Half way through the video you said exactly how I've been feeling. I want the experience of parenting to feel intuitive and to basically have to learn a different language to communicate "effectively" with my kid just doesn't feel right. It doesn't make sense evolutionarily for sure and I have enough on my plate already

All parenting strategies are futile/meaningless. The (most) important point is whether society has collectively come up with a just, fair, safe and correct way to run itself. Also, no kid should belong to their parents, all kids (all people) should belong to himself with his own autonomy, and belong to a society in which he would agree to and be happy living as a part of. All parenting guru out there have only ever discussed is whether whichever way to control/manage their kids is useful in achieving the goal of "kids obeying their own parents". Yet we see society having more and more problems. The existing population should at one point sit down and discuss every problem, come up with solutions to them all first, before creating more kids. The act of parents simply duplicating him/herself and make another mini-me with their own idea instilled in the kid is not gonna make society better, the kid will also eventually rebel if he doesn't agree with his own parents anyway.

So hard to stay calm when i am trying this process for one year😢😢😢

Simply put, it doesn't work for everyone. I don't think its that great tbh. My sister has tried , all 7 don't listen until she's raised her voice . Her oldest will argue "but i don't want to do that, this is how i feel" In adulthood, there's going to be lots of things you need to do that you don't want to do. Your feelings won't matter. You think in a job you can have a paddy and never be given consequences? Your boss won't hug you.

Respecting boundaries is the key. If a mother has no boundaries or if she does not communicate them they will have no awareness and logically be respectless

Are there any video breakdowns? I love the content. I wonder if there is a practice equivalent to the theories presented.

Again, coddling your child by protecting them from ideas is not helpful. They may agree with you while you’re able to shelter them, however once they are able to be out in the world where they’re exposed to other viewpoints, they’re more likely to go against your views if they feel like they’ve been manipulated by you all along. It’s much more important to teach them critical thinking skills and to teach them that there are different ways of looking at a subject and that while you try to give them the best information you have, it’s important for them to be able to think for themselves even if that means coming to a different conclusion than yourself. And that’s okay if they end up thinking differently than you! As long as you’ve taught them those important critical thinking skills, at some point you have to trust that they will be able to make their own decisions on how they view things 🤷‍♀️

Coddling of the American mind… I prefer to take the Julie Bogart route of raising critical thinkers. It’s not our job to protect our kids from different viewpoints from our own. But it is our job to teach them critical thinking skills so that they can learn to thoroughly evaluate things for themselves, even if that means that our children end up with different viewpoints than our own.

Kids need to learn about emotions and how to deal with them so they won’t become problems later on. You can still understand emotions and be a man. 💜🙏

That’s what I’ve been missing.

Oh my gosh I love this SO much!!! Thank you for encapsulating everything I have been feeling especially as a parent of a child with autism and ADHD. I try and balance between warmth and firmness. I find that when I err too often on the gentleness I get resentful inside and then eventually THAT will lead to yelling. When I am more assertive from the beginning I am less likely to yell. It’s also been helpful to identify what things are non-negotiable vs what is negotiable. If my son is calm I am willing to compromise on things that are negotiable. It seems helpful when he has to meet me halfway on a compromise.

Oh my gosh I love this SO much!!! Thank you for encapsulating everything I have been feeling especially as a parent of a child with autism and ADHD. I try and balance between warmth and firmness. I find that when I err too often on the gentleness I get angry inside and then eventually THAT will lead to yelling. When I am more assertive from the beginning I am less likely to yell.

💜💜💜

I wud like to hear more in elaborated manner.. Hi Avital.. i m from India.. we too face all these with my kid.

☮️ These videos really help me when I’m feeling like a complete failure, thank you so much 🙏🏼

Its crazy we spend so much energy finding a partner, the breakups, the weddings, the does she love me, or does he love me.... then end up dealing with a child. A child then gets into troubles at age 16, some even end up in jail at age 18.

Great video- thanks !

Gentle parenting sucks!! Kids need discipline and boundaries and respect for not only themselves but othets! As a teacher I saw kids that felt so entitled that saying Good Morning was difficult for them along with asking questions about work in Reflecting on the work! Being your kids Friend should be set aside and teach the babies ! Teach them to tie their shoes, tell time, and teach them cursive writing and to love themselves. Teach them Right from Wrong and above all Don't curse their teacher out infront of them!!

Lack of resources a big issue for a lot of families these days

This is way past the corona period… but I really needed a video like this one!! I am 36+ weeks along expecting baby number 3. I have a toddler and an older child. I work from home part time and one of my children is in an intensive therapy program they have to be taken to every weekday. Sometimes I break down crying because I haven’t been doing the things you’ve mentioned… lots of hikes, planning the week in detail, the Pinterest activities and the Montessori setup… Yes, we must match our expectations and resources!

I think the Bible verse gets misconstrued. The "rod" was used to gently guide the lambs...not hit them. I think people use that verse how they want to.

It would be AMAZING if you created a course based on biblical lessons related to family/parenting. It is so interesting to hear from someone who speaks the original language.

I needed to hear this today!!! thank you

Honestly, my dad was authoritarian and my mother permissive, I'm a very fucked up adult.Don't have kids and don't want any, so idk why the algorhythm put me here, but I'm so grateful parents these days have people like you to turn to online. Don't want any more little ones to go through this mess, thanks for the good content

New subscriber. I'm a 42 year old first time mommy. I'm only 4 weeks and very nervous 😢. My insomnia is worse than ever. It's 3am now. In the past, i used melatonin and valerian tea. Im reading this is a no. Any advice? Please and thank you.

so, you came to your senses, good

Yes, watching this was much needed after getting out of the gentle parenting borderline permissive parenting echo chamber that is reddit

LOVE

Screentime is the opposite of helpful for me. I've been in survival mode for years. I use screentime to procrastinate, numb and escape.

I don’t follow any gurus but from what I know gentle parenting is supposed to be authoritative parenting like you said in the beginning. I agreed with most of what you said but you surprised me when you mentioned politics. Wasn’t sure what you meant by simple truths and I don’t think I want to find out haha but good work on rest of the video! No one can be a perfect parent. Mistakes are part of the human experience but I encourage people to be able to admit their mistakes to their kids as well! I’m embarrassed to admit to raising a hand to my kid when I was really young but I have since apologized and told her what I did was not okay and she did not deserve to be handled that way. I think it can also send a powerful message to your kid about taking responsibility for your actions bc you truly are modeling the adult you want your kid to become. If they see you grow as a person, they know they can grow as well.

My single mother was very permissive. Her mantra she actually repeatedly said to me was "you're going to do what you want anyways so I'm not even going to try to tell you differently ". As a teenager I thought it was great. Now, as an adult I'm pretty annoyed with her that I dropped out and lived on the streets at 15 for 5 years and messed my life up. She barely did anything to stop me. Thanks, like I really knew what I was doing at 15.

Great points!

I very much disagree with some of the things you say. My parents stayed together and that wasn't a good thing. I never saw an example of a healthy relationship from them and I suffered because of them staying together when they we're not happy together. Also if you are in a relationship and you are carrying a lot of the weight on your own and your partner doesn't see or understand that and is unwilling to work on it, it is good for no-one. Also when you choose to create a life together, often times we are still very young. A lot can change in a life, we evolve and grow and that can mean that 2 people no longer fit together at some point

Thank you, this was really useful!

What if your toddler isn’t talking yet? It’s a wee bit difficult if you can’t have a conversation with your child yet

I never have, never would have done this "trend" because I could see it was garbage (even as a teen). Glad to see other people catching on to it!

Avital! You have changed ao much over the 8 years tht ive seen ur videos! You had scripts of wven what to say to others for not giving gifts . I am so happy that we are growing together 😂 and its see how ur more relaxed!! I am hoping to get there too!

Parents create these entitled monsters and then complain about the child⁉️🥴 I have seen this many, many times. I do not sit and listen to the bashing of the child.....I gently point out ,”What did you expect?” When you teach them nothing about the joys of work/ accomplishment, responsibility,appreciation etc. Yet indulge their every little whim & desire.... and then you think they are going to turn out to be a decent human being😱⁉️ NO‼️ It doesn’t work that way AT ALL‼️ I used to let people tell me how “lucky” I was as our girls were sensible, appreciative etc. THEN I decided “NO!! ....The way they turned out had little to zero to do w/ luck!!” So, I would say so. It took a lot of prayer, clear logical thinking and deep love & dedication towards their well beingto have the desired result. NOT being their ‘friend & cash machine. We made mistakes, no doubt, but overall we did ok for becoming parents at ages under 20 yrs old. One thing we would do is more study of God’s Word and how it applies to everyday living. Also, more practical information on $money management$. Otherwiswe we feel we did a decent job of raising 2 real responsibe,lovable ladies. Comon sense,firm boundaries, a solid establishment of mutual respect, and accountability, and lots of love. When all of this comes together there will be minimal need for “clashes”, disrespect and discipline. Put the effort in up front, then sit back and enjoy your adult ‘children’ and wonderful grandchildren❤️🥰 God bless .☮️❣️