Random Grab Bag of D&D Stories

[@SpenceSession]

Thank you for turning down the advert at the end. I ment to mention that in a earlier video but forgot.

[@BrianVaughnVA]

All the love!

[@atomictomfoolery4400]

Here’s a story from a mini campaign one of my friends hosted. Party was 2 elves, one ranger one mage, Goliath artificer, one Dragonborn ranger and myself as a tiefling paladin. My friend intended to have this campaign loosely based off doctor who, something about cult evil things ( I never watched doctor who). As the party enters the main mine, they overhear a dwarf being rude/racist to some other workers, who just so happened to be elves. We couldn’t do anything to him at the time, being railroaded to find who the villains were and what their schemes were, but everyone kept on thinking about that bloody dwarf. After the clues were found and all mine workers brought before a round table to discuss who the mind controlling evil was, we immediately pointed towards the dwarf. He wasn’t of course, but he still got executed. Best part was that if dm let us roll to say after we had him killed to pick the actual evil, and then we killed 2 birds with one stone

[@philurbaniak1811]

Lol at Space Walrus! 🤣 Also Lovely Walrus on the same channel 😁👌

[@BrianVaughnVA]

SPACE WALRUS....

[@amberslime3683]

So this isn't Dungeons & Dragons, but I'd like to share the story of what I'll call "Bucket% World Record." So I used to play in a GURPS campaign that was kind of like The X-Files in that there's a lot of aliens, psychic phenomenon, and general hidden spookiness about. My character, Jack Carde the Astral Projector, and the rest of his team took a trip down South to a strange city populated by living skeletons. The really weird thing was that Jack Carde couldn't see the city while in the Astral Plane, and another member of the team, a possibly-alien cyborg/android, couldn't see or interact with the city at all. Now, we're at this strange city to look for... a guy. I can't remember his name, but I do remember that we were looking for him. After nearly getting into a fight with some burly tough at a suspicious orphanage, the team then decided to visit a shop after scrounging up some currency. Furthermore, earlier we noted a well that had a rope, but no bucket. So, Jack Carde had the Intuition Advantage, meaning I could ask the GM to secretly roll against my IQ score: if I got a success, the GM would steer me in the right direction. Now I don't know the result of this roll, but what I do remember is the GM mentioning a bucket that was for sale in the shop. Remembering the well from earlier, I had Jack buy the bucket and head to the well to see what was going down down the well. Guess who was down there. The guy we were looking for. He was somehow psychically generating *an entire town* while he was *dead.* Presumably it was due to the alien doo-dad lying right next to him. Oh, and there was also a chupacabra sleeping there. A minute or two after Jack absconds with the alien doo-dad, the false city completely vanishes, revealing that the bottom of the well was actually a flooded cave, thankfully one that had an exit. Thus, the mission was completed! Looking back, it's honestly kind of hilarious to me if I look at it from the perspective of the characters. Jack Carde has a reputation both in-game and out of being "not all there" mentally and having dubious-at-best levels of self-preservation. I can just imagine all the other characters going "Oh God, what now?" As Jack buys the bucket and rushes to the well, only to be incredibly confused as the city vanishes around them minutes later, with Jack soon reporting "Hey, I found that guy we were looking for in the well. Also, that chupacabra from earlier is here too."

[@disableddragonborn]

Yami should've kept in mind a very good bit of advice that everyone ought to heed. "Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead."

[@karno6679]

Dm here- last week my players summoned an ancient eldritch god by doing the hokey pokey in a pentagram shape- for context I was running a homebrew modified version of Frozen Sick for a group of new players. Minor spoilers for that. On their way to Saulsvault they encountered a revenant. The party was made up of Rouge, the personification of a kleptomaniac magpie with a hoarding disorder (dragon heritage made him hoard treasure), Fighter, an ex bandit NPC who the entire party decided they wanted to be an actual adventurer, Cleric, a rather interesting dwarf who liked certain... substances if you get my drift, Ranger, an exiled dwarf who had some sort of need to befriend everything he saw and finally, Warlock, a 2 meter tall tiefling who was extremely attractive but had no social skills and spoke broken common. His patron is a planeswalker from a much more advanced world ie ours, who uses technology to be on the level of the gods, and accidentally transported himself here a long long time ago and hasn't been able to get back. So they approach this revenant, and the rouge is the first in initiative. He rolls a 6 on his insight check, so I tell him "The creature looks as if it enjoys a good song and dance" as a bit of a joke. You know what rouge does? Rouge says "Ok! I begin to dance". I ask "What... are you going to dance" He replies "The hokey pokey!" Cue hysterical laughter from the rest of the table. After a discussion explaining how he knows the hokey pokey I allow it, and he rolls performance, getting a 16. For the memes I decide this is enough for the revenant to simply sit there, amused. But then its rangers turn.... ranger does the exact same thing, rolling an 18. Then Warlock, who actually knows what the ritual is, rolls a nat 20. The revenant still hasn't attacked and the warlock yells for them to make a star. Everyone else is confused but does so. The fighter joins in, getting a 15, and finally our cleric goes whatever I'll join in too, and rolls a nat 1. Doesn't matter though because Warlock then slips me a note. Before the campaign, as a joke, I said that warlocks patron could be summoned by any and all dances from our world in a pentagram as long as there was a soul in the middle who was not dancing. The note says "The hokey pokey is a dance" I start to crack up, and the party looks at me like I'm insane. I say "The sky turns red around you. The ritual you have unwittingly performed sucks the revenant into nothingness, its screams echoing out through the ruins. Emerging from the centre a demonic face shows and you hear WHO DARES PERFORM THE SACRED RITUAL!? WHO DARES TO SUMMON ME, THE CAST OUT OF THE GODS, THE LORD OF- oh hi Warlock! Meant to ask, you can still do Mario party this weekend right?" Everyone breaks into hysterics again.And that is how my party of level 2s defeated a revenant without taking a single point of damage and summoned an eldritch god by doing the hokey pokey.

[@totallyseriousgamer]

Don't have an epic story for the subject yet, but there is one being made as we speak. Last session was a hell of an experience and the next session will probably be just as wild. If I remember, I'll post the full story here later

[@totallyseriousgamer]

update: one extra session was not enough. P.S. What the fuck.

[@volksdude1970]

Status update? I gotta know!

[@BrianVaughnVA]

The subject for this is just - a grab bag. Stocking stuffers can be anything from anywhere, so fire off whatever you want always.

[@thedarkbard]

This is a long one. I’m DMing (first time) Lost Mine of Phandelver (very small spoilers) for a group of 2, also first time, players. The first try is a whole other story, but, when confronting Klarg, the party got TPKed. When prepping for attempt 2, I found that it was a 4-5 player adventure, so even with me playing a DMPC, we were short, but I decide to try again, and maybe give the party some early magic items. Here’s the party: Chinnok, a surly teifling who’s a draconic sorcerer. Therian, (DMPC), a happy go lucky half-elf wizard who dragged Chinnok into this. Brok, a mountain dwarf paladin So we defeat the ambush somewhat easily, then after a long rest head down the trail. I, taking point, spot the snare but not the pit trap, but avoid both. We got to Cragmaw Hideout, and I investigate to see if there are any sentries. I don’t get noticed at first, but I do going back of the stream. Two arrows in the back, bringing me down to 1 hp. The two sentries are cleared out, with the only other dmg going to Brok. So we take a short rest, and I reason that the shift change would happen around midday, so we get it done. I’m now at 8 hp and the rest are at full health. As we enter the cave, the goblin on the bridge sees us and runs off. Four rounds later, we’ve defeated the wolves, and the first flood hits. Brok gets swept away, the rest of us are fine. (Here Chinnok says, “We’re here fighting wolves, and you’re taking a lazy River ride!”) The goblin, back at the bridge, misses a shot at Brok, then calls for another. Therian moves out to check on Brok, realizes what’s going on, but is out of movement, so I have him brace himself, giving him advantage on the strength saving throw against washing away. Chinnok throws out a rope, but Therian stays holding onto the rock. Brok gets in front of Therian and grabs onto the rope. The flood hits, and Brok looses his grip, banging into me. I somehow manage to hold on and grab Brok. At this point, Brok and Therian are at 3 and 2, respectively, and Chinnok is at full health. Just as we are going to hole up in the kennel, we hear the rest of the goblins approach. Now I have to plan a chase scene. To:DR. A new DM has to add things to a premise campaign when playing with too few characters.

[@Jessie_Helms]

Back in June I floated the idea to an ex-player of mine (good vibes, just had to stay up too late cause of time zones) of how we might get the character out of the campaign. We decided that if the Owlin died by Strahd or the Hags he’d be turned into an Owlin down pillow. In _August_ the party fought a coven of hags and the PC went down. The cleric shouted, “You won’t turn into a pillow yet!” I _died_ laughing. The whole party were killed or knocked unconscious by the hags. The barbarian, the one who initiated combat, woke up on an _incredibly soft_ pillow… a down pillow… an _Owlin down_ pillow. I then sent the screenshot dated like 2 months prior to PROVE that I hadn’t just stolen the cleric idea lol

[@great_icosahedron]

Just watched your first video on FakeOut. Dude I still can't believe that. Hell yes Did take me a minute to figure out it was you tho ;)

[@BrianVaughnVA]

Thank you!!! I've been branching out as a voice actor to get as many places as I can. All the love mate.

[@blakeetter280]

I’ve played a fair number of characters over the years but my favorite will always be Talon Dark-Hunter, the eldarin wild magic sorcerer. Yes I stole the name. Talon had a rogue-like backstory in that his family was killed by an evil cult of Cyric and he was the only survivor because he was out of the village hunting. Except that was three hundred years ago, talon had gotten his revenge and was over it. Despite being a sorcerer talon was actually from a village of paladins and clerics who followed Helm. However because his clan died early he didn’t know much about helm and wasn’t a super devout follower, just getting the basic idea of chivalry and helping others. Now there was a lot going on but basically the demon king was sending his demon lords/generals to conquer and/or just fuck up the various kingdoms in the world. Talon started off pretty average, we fought a necromancer in a haunted bog at the behest of the guardians of the forest (think dryad wendigo) that talon had befriended in a one shot set a hundred years ago. Interesting but not super impressive, until it started a running gag. See the necromancer was carrying a corrupted staff around and talon decided to purify it, seems like something a follower of helm would do. But I didn’t have any way to transport it so I’m just holding this evil staff like a walking stick. Later found out it’s a legendary magic staff called the staff of the master necromancer. I couldn’t use it tho cuz it was cursed. Later we had to fight a cult working to summon a demon lord into our world (first time we learned of that as a party). When the demon arrived he did the whole Ben ten thing and yelled his name. So talon grabbed a piece of paper he had on him (took a spell book off a wizard a few sessions ago) and wrote some gibberish in the form of a circle on the paper. Used his own blood for effect. Then he wrote the demons name in the middle, lit it up with a cantrip and declared “___ I banish you back the abyss from whence you came!” I clarified to the DM that the magic did not work this way and my ‘banishing scroll’ was powerless. He asked me to bluff the demon, 19. Dude fell for it and just left of his own free will. Whole party is dying. However I noticed something; when the cult had summoned this guy they’d done so with a giant crystal and blood sacrifices, and then the demon had crushed the summoner on his own crystal when he appeared. I asked if I could take the crystal. DM said sure but it’s shards, how you gonna carry that? I wrapped it in the dead summoners robes and made it a hobo sack with the aforementioned cursed staff. DM was kinda scared cuz that’s a lotta evil being toted around like my lunch. This trend continued throughout the entire campaign. I killed eight demon lords including that last guy, took a total of eleven artifacts from various sources and went down in history as one of the strongest mortals to ever live. At that time I was the strongest. My favorite artifact was the cursed sword. For those who’ve read Drizzt it’s basically cutter, a sentient sword that tries to make the wielder go on a killing spree. I turned a bag of holding inside out and picked up the sword like dog poop. Never touched it, not affected. DM was laughing. Later that same session I pulled the sword out and chucked it to the NPC right next to the latest demon lord, as he caught it I used dominate person to control him. I pointed out that the sword now had no way to control him, I owned his mind, and no way to control me because I wasn’t touching it. So I used the sword of a demon lord to kill another demon lord. I also had that same guy on hand to break the first staff over his knee in case it was needed but it never was. Talon completed that campaign having killed the demon king’s second form solo by straight up hijacking the giant magic engine he was using and turning the raw magic into a beam to seal the king away forever. Needed a 20 to succeed got a 17, bend luck, 19. DM says it works but I die in the process. Everyone’s bummed out but we can’t do anything as we don’t have a healer. Until Bane walks in (not the god). See sometimes our rogue can’t be there so we have a second campaign in the same world, Bane is my wizard (much less powerful). Talon and bane had teamed up a few weeks ago because I wasn’t able to make it to the main session. In that time I got the first staff purified and usable and gave it to bane. That staff had the lvl9 spell true resurrection which was then used on talon, bringing him back at lvl20 for being one with the wild magic of the universe (also the party was lvl17 anyways). Being high level gave him access to the wish spell which he used to cast clone, and obtain the various materials needed. I said his next plan is to become immortal somehow so he can help the world forever. And as the next campaign takes place in the same world a thousand years later that’s well on its way to happening. Talon is still alive and kicking and the world has reason to fear him XD. I told the DM that he would have had at least three hidden caches of clones around the world and items to equip them. So the guys who finally ‘killed’ talon are in for a very nasty surprise. What’s really impressive about talon is nothing is homebrew, no rules were bent, everything he did was RAW legitimate in a setting that was more home brew than not. He got the party through just about every situation through creative magic or problems solving and despite his sleazy reputation nobody could actually fault the guy because he really was chaotic good throughout the whole campaign. I just had so much fun playing him, dude was just the ultimate power gaming moment for me and I loved it.

[@jondawson7911]

Best story I have is from LMoP. It was one of the side quests, the orc and ogre encounter. They're encountered in a cave with a narrow entrance. Basically, a party member threw ball bearings down, I (playing the Barbarian) provoked them into coming at me. The first orc to charge fell prone on the ball bearings. The second one succeeded on the ball bearing but was promptly tripped by two party members pulling a length of rope taught. It went on like this for most of the combat. Orc charges, falls prone, me, the other Barb or the paladin wreck their shit 😂

[@matthewjarvis7577]

I once let my players create a massive shield surf like in zelda with rocket power. A warforged bard with firebolt and shape water created an ice path and propulsion system. The dragonborn warlock/druid used create or destroy water to supply the water. The half elf bard placed the shield down to ride on and used the rope around the warforged to attach. It cut a few hundred mile journey from 2 days to 30 minutes. That was fun to make

[@MitchT97]

I think I’ve posted this before in less depth in a different thread but myself only having been in a few one shots and one long campaign until now (2 1/2 years and still going) I have many stories they just overlap a lot or are back to back as my group is all kinds of Chaotic. We needed to get to the bottom of a mountain with all due haste as we potentially had a horde of vampires, two eldritch beings, and an avalanche on our tail and little time to spend going down a mountain that took us a nearly a day to trek up with a cart. Ours got destroyed and the npcs was stolen when we came back to our camp. Did we cast fly? No too many people. The Druid summon giant owls to fly us down? No still too many people. We had probably 10 people including all the npcs and just not enough spell slots left to do much with. We couldn’t hope to run down the mountain either because even if we escaped our pursuers we’d freeze before we got to safety. Then another party member and I had an idea. I we turn to the Druid in our group “Barry what’s the biggest thing you can turn into?” “A sperm whale.” Our goblin friend replies. (We’d misread the CR rule for Circle of the Moon but our dm was willing to rule of cool it). Next thing the party knows we’re feather falling down into the river below on a sperm whale. I’ve never felt so much like Jack Sparrow arriving at Port Royal before.

[@utubeiskaren7796]

One time I was playing a campaign. My character was kind of OP, I had at least a +3 in every skill check except for Strength ones, and I had +5 or +6 in many skills, including a +6 in the skill used for lockpick checks which came in really useful for the first part of the story which was to escape a prison. We came across a wall at one point, and a gate, but the lever to open it was on the other side. I decided to climb the wall. The DM told me that the wall was practically impossible to climb as it was just a brick wall, so it probably wouldn't work if I tried even with my insane stats, unless I rolled REALLY high. I went for it anyways and rolled a Nat 20.

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

PANR has tuned in. How are you all doing?

[@justtj8085]

Was wondering when you'e comment

[@billcox8870]

About to go to work and earn some money 🤑☺️👍

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

@@billcox8870 very nice! Go earn big friend

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

@@justtj8085 sometimes I can be late, but I'm always here sooner or later.

[@billcox8870]

@@postapocalypticnewsradio as a food delivery driver in canada, I make over $1,000 a week average in an electric car

[@Onkelcuno]

Hey Team of MrRipper! Thank you for making the metal in your ad more silent. Love your vids!

[@BrianVaughnVA]

You're welcome!?

[@Onkelcuno]

@@BrianVaughnVA Given the questionmark i'll elaborate. I watch these videos before sleeping, watching what i missed (if i fall asleep) during breakfast. the metal music in the ad for their shop woke me up a few times. so i asked the ad to be a bit more silent, and it is super now. Thanks!

[@NexeL_NKC]

I’ve got a hilarious story. This happened in the latest session I played the previous weekend as of writing this. I and the rest of my party were in Wave Echo Cave, taking care of business. I had found a mysterious set of gauntlets that belonged to a long dead small creature, like a goblin or halfling down in a pit deep inside the cave. I made my way down and took the guantlets, intending to give them to another party member, but I was rudely interrupted by two Red Slaads and a group of 3 bugbears. We are lvl 6, so there’s the reason for the overkill enemies. The group was split in elevation, five were atop an escarpment and I was down in the pit with the Slaads, fending them off. The group on top of the cliff were dealing with the bugbears, and our group “drunk monk” pulled a series of maneuvers. Driving a 2x4 into one of the bugbear’s chin, knocking one silly, and then tossing another one off the cliff. Through some insane rolls by my DM, a 90 or so on percentile die, the bugbear landed directly on my lit flametongue sword, skewering it, and doing enough damage to kill it. It was the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced while playing.

[@utubeiskaren7796]

One time, in a very low-level campaign, we were in the Astral Plane and went into a restaurant run by a Beholder named Luigi. Because this was my first time playing D&D (Not the first session, just the first campaign) and I was in a silly mood when making my character I kind of did many things for no reason. (The entire reason we were in the Astral Plane is because the party put a portable hole in a bag of holding, and I successfully rolled the check to know what was going to happen but I just said "rift time" instead of doing anything about it). Naturally I tried to get into the employees only area under a trapdoor, though I was unsuccessful because the NPC that I had to get past was surprisingly strong likely because the DM didn't make the area I was trying to get to. The Beholder named Luigi came in and was very pissed that I was trying to get into the employees only area. Keep in mind that we were Level 3 or 4 or something like that at the time. Prior to this my character had asked the Beholder about Mario (Remember, this character was really crazy) and the Beholder just said "You do not want to know about Mario" or something like that. Anyways, when the Beholder got upset, the Beholder's alternate personality Mario took over and almost killed my character but the Luigi personality came back just in time. I'm pretty sure the DM improvised this entire part of Luigi's lore.

[@ElementalAngelKashi]

i don't know if you guys remember the homebrew game where a dwarf used heat metal and pulled a guard thru to his death but this is another one of his antics, had a siege mission which was suppose to take maybe 3 to 4 session, well the castle they were suppose to take had a river run around it forming a flowing moat, well the party when upstream to divert the river to flood a nearby plain and blocking any attempt of reinforcements or escape. the dwarf then goes a bit downstream with some NPC allies and sticks his combat rod into the slight drained river and started making a few deep holes, (rod was a magic item that could extend up to 100ft and would only apply force to one end). well after making a few holes he stuck the rod in one last time and uses heat metal. the water in the area started to boil then steam then the river was all dried up, but he didn't stop the kept going and steam kept coming out of the holes. What the party had planned if they ever had to take this castle was to drain the water table so the wells in the castle would be useless. they had this plan as this castle they passed by many times was mentioned to be important and a strategic point. on top of the drying water table the castle was also surrounded by the allied NPC army. in one session they were able to take the castle without damaging it and on top of that if the enemy tried to use the same trick they most likely would have flooded their own camp, Allies were on the west side of the castle and enemy forces would have had to come from the valley in the east. the taking of this castle prevented an all out war as the castle was a fortress overlooking a chokepoint of the valley. This was one of the few times the players were able to use past information about a location they visited before to outright outsmart me the DM. I should be angry about it but it just shows how invested they were into the world as i was. after that terrain was taken into account when setting up more army sized adventures.

[@Avila975385]

I've got a story about Christmas one-shots. So, this started 2 years ago, with this Christmas being the 3rd time we do a Holiday one-shot. 2 years ago, we started a holiday one-shot where we had to save Santa in his own workshop, don't really remember the name of the actual campaign/one-shot we were playing but there was also some sort of evil crown involved(?). Anyways, this isn't so much about the story, more so about some of the things that happened during the campaign. One of our friends played a half-orc cleric. This half-orc actually switched bodies with someone from the real world named Kenneth, a neck beard, basement-living, 30-year-old... No one knows how this happened, but this half-orc throughout the whole campaign thought this was just a dream. In comes my character, an artificer gnome Alchemist named Mort Tician. At some point in our campaign, Kenneth looked to my character and called him a little person. Mort was pissed off at this and I looked to my DM and asked if I could kick him in the nuts. The DM told me to roll to hit.... Nat 20. What concurred was nothing short of excruciating. I nut tapped, no I busted that nut with the point of my shoe and we had to look up how much force it would take for a nut to burst. I can't remember what it was, but I dealt enough damage because of that nat 20 to bust his nut. Kenneth passed out and when he woke up he had an artificial nut that I created and attached to him. This arti-nut is the same size as a normal one but has gears. Well, Mort still pissed at the name that was used decided to implant a ticking bomb in that arti-nut that he could detonate whenever he wanted. It kind of sounds like the ticking that the alligator makes in Peter Pan. Our campaign ended and we got a weird ending, but it doesn't end there. We made it cannon now that every year Kenneth from the "real world" inhabits a random DND creature's body during the holidays and in doing so also brings with him the arti-nut (artificial nut) with ticking and all. Can't wait to hear it again this upcoming holiday one-shot.

[@knutandersson4606]

Slight bit of context for this very recent story. I and the groups i play in love to include the, Merchant of Not Exactly What you Asked for but within Legal Limits Magic Items, Bobby the Goblin and his Ogre henchman Lenny. Thing is, Bobby isn't restricted by the limits of mortals, I think in level of influence the fat bastard (which i say amicably) equals that of a lesser trickster god. So oftentimes I would narrate the goblin being selectively perceptible, selectively corporeal, selectively logical, being a mystery is part of the charm. But this story is about his henchman Lenny Klunk, who is all of these things as well, but unaware of it. In my ongoing campaign, Bobby had sparked the ire of the more chaotic party members with his Passive Perception of 27 when they tried to pickpocket his Pepper of Disappearance which they eventually bought. Bitterness in their mouth they had set out to _uncover_ his hidden operation to the world and bought paint.The plan was too have a member of the clergy witness Klunk's form covered in paint to gain the trust of the local church in their crusade, i suppose. So they did, and the legend of Invisible Ogres began. You might have noticed a bit of a theme already, but the main point is: if a Neutral Evil church of a War God hears "we're under attack" they go on lockdown. Big guns are called in, if anything to hold the gates and increase patrols. But Lenny wouldn't hurt a soul that his boss says he shouldn't so time goes on. Eventually, inside the gates they come to a warehouse they need to infiltrate, much activity heading in and out, they go snooping but are spotted, all engage deception protocols aside from one, he sneaks away and aces the stealth check to do so, heads down an alley to check the back but then turns back. Hey! The problem is the guy asking questions, let's just get rid of him! So he stabs him, twice, in broad daylight, on a busy street. Dust of Disappearance goes up in a panic and suddenly a street full of witnesses see a group vanish above the gutted body who proceeds to get puppeteered and flung across roofs. THE INVISIBLE OGRES RETURN. The barbarian attempts intimidation at some point, and the horse gets frightened and starts *invisibly mowing through a crowd.* So now we've got a hearsay threat being semi confirmed and is actively causing havoc throughout a sealed city with guards and paladins on the tail and that's where the last session ended and I am dreading the follow up.

[@UncleIrohpnw]

We were traveling through the sewers of a city and we encountered a couple hook horrors. I was playing a dwarven sharpshooter with a crossbow well at the beginning I tripped losing my crossbow so I wrestled one of the hook horrors and used my ever fill mug of Dwarven ale to waterboard it until it drowned

[@misterhyde2817]

Jekyll aren: here spindl your fry buffalo chicken double with four strips of bacon while sitting in between two slices of bread whole wheat buns complete with two fried eggs over medium with a blue cheese burger sauce what a side of curly fries any extra large lemon meringue milkshake.

[@madbro8848]

A story from a mega one-shot as a far future one-shot after our heros had died. I was playing a paladin and there was an assassination attempt against him. He was poisoned by a dagger to the back and he turned around to stare down his assailant before he silently interrogated the anarchist guard. Later that session, he rode a wave of rats down a long stairway on his shield into the big bad's basement.

[@dagger1-140]

Here’s a story I think about alot when people ask me how my DnD experience has been. I’m a new player and have only ever made one character thus far and I’m in a solo campaign with a friend who’s played DnD for awhile. I play as a lawful good Fire Genasi Rouge and my friend the DM plays an NPC elven Ranger. In the second session I was tasked to go and warn a bunch of dwarves about a dragon that been terrorizing the region. We arrived and did the job but the dwarves asked if we could help them excavate the ruins they were in and help them reach some deeper parts of the ruins that had some monster. Some digging and a fight with two slime things later and we had reached the deepest part of the ruin to which my DM told me this: DM: “you reach the deepest part of the ruins and enter a room. In the center of a room on a giant pedestal is a large green gemstone. What do you wanna do?” Me: “I wanna investigate the room” DM: “roll for investigation” I roll pretty high and he says that the room apart from the pedestal and gem is empty Now, prior to this we received some smaller gems from the dwarves after discovering a hidden treasure trove so I was content with what I collected but I also felt like this was a scene straight out of Indiana Jones Me: “ehhhh Nope, I don’t like it, we’re leaving” NPC Ranger: “you sure? We could easily carry that.” NPC dwarves: “well if you guys don’t take it we will!” Me: “yep. I’m sure, I’m out” The Ranger and I leave and we hear the dwarves laughing away. Then I heard a sound that I learned would instill fear in me. My friend the DM rolled, but, much to my surprise (and I guess his) he didn’t say anything for a moment before saying DM: “…the dwarves catch up to you and gloat about the massive gem” It turns out he decided that he knew I wouldn’t take the bait and the gem was booby trapped with explosives and other bad stuff that would have for sure killed my low level character and the dwarves. Except that’s not what happened, somehow the dwarves BOTH rolled High enough without modifiers to get the gem without setting off the trap. We laughed for like 15 minutes after the session talking about how crazy that was

[@The_Great_Butler]

So, my first campaign of DnD was as a Knowledge Cleric of Eldath, a combat-avoidant goddess. My character was that of a changling that had been raised as a pacifist and wanted to find peace in valuing both the good of tradition and of modernity as one and share that with others. Basically, trying to break an oath of pacifity to protect people's way of life (Or me just being a passive person who had never played a TTRPG in their life). Almost every single time I would roll for an attack or charge at someone that wasn't undead, I would just completely miss. Even when I attempted to charge at the party's hydrophobic Lizardfolk Druid to get them to take a swim, I rolled a NAT 1 and slammed face first into the surface of the water. The words "Sorry, Eldath. Thank you, Eldath." still give me a chuckle and was the quickest way to get rid of "Non-combative Syndrome" for a new player like myself.

[@LocalMaple]

Shared this on Reddit post upload: _The time the phone playing Ranger knocked out a fellow party member._ Be me: a Fairy Rune Knight. Not me and important to this story: a Tortle Monk, his backstory BBEG, the Goliath Barbarian, and the Kobold Ranger. We had finished a combat when the DM told me to roll a Wisdom saving throw. I failed. The DM said “you feel a command, no a compulsion, in your mind: the Tortle must die!” The party groaned; the Rakshasha was back. When my turn began, I did every attack I could on the injured Tortle. He wasn’t yet bloodied. The Goliath, having been subjected to this before, knew what was going on. “I know you’re in there Stardust. Don’t worry, I’ll get you out!” He then proceeds to hit me nonlethally as many times as he can. However, my -1 Wisdom Save against a DC 18 wasn’t helping. The Kobold, seeing the mind control, chooses a different tactic. “You can’t kill the Tortle if you’re unconscious. I attack!” DM: “Are you sure?” Kobold: “I’m going to stack on every bonus I can… let’s see, there’s the dragon’s reaction, sharpshooter…” Goliath: “Don’t!” Kobold: “I CRIT!” The Tortle, as he begins doubling and counting dice: “No…” The Kobold: “47 damage!” I raise up a finger, and begin swiping on my character sheet. The DM finally catches on. “Oo-OOOOH! You have to do it!” Meanwhile, the Tortle is double checking their HP, and the Barbarian (and others) are glaring at the Kobold. The Kobold: “Do what?” Me: “It’s over half my remaining HP, I have to!” The Kobold, finally noticing the glaring: “DO WHAT?” Me, [evil grin mode activated](tenor.com/upUf.gif) “I raise my gauntlet, and the blue stone flashes. The Cloud Rune redirects that arrow from me to the Tortle.” The DM laughs, and the rest of the party groans. The Kobold: “SINCE WHEN COULD YOU DO THAT?!?” The DM: “Every combat, since session 2, at level 3!” Me: “Remember when you were being drowned by the Water Weird, and when you escaped the grapple, I used this to redirect its grappling opportunity attack at a giant octopus?” Kobold, a bit slow but with a dawning of realization: “Oh. Ooooooohhhh…” The Tortle: “I’m unconscious.”

[@brandonkinney5850]

This was from an older 3.5 campaign set in Eberron. My character was one of the unnamed sons of Boranel ir'Wynarn, king of Breland. I was on bad terms with my family, and since I didn't follow my male siblings into knighthood, my character went to the Warmage Academy. The only family member I got along with was one of my older sisters. Throughout the campaign, my father, the king, kept sending people after me to bring me home. When I did eventually make my way back, I was welcomed home by an uprising; hence why my father tried to bring me home sooner. I tried to placate and listen to the masses to resolve their issues. Whilst doing this, the people began to jeer, very proudly, that they had already lynched one of the royal family. What was to stop them from doing it to me? Well, not really caring about the rest of my family, I told them this. That's when the mob told me it was my sister, the only one that I truly cared for. She had tried the same as I did, tried to help them with their problem. It's at this point that my aloofness turned to pure rage, and I snapped. As they're laughing and jeering, I cast a Flaming Sphere and, without skipping a beat, began bulldozing the mob. Men, women, and children; my rage knew no bounds. And I kept casting and rolling spheres throughout Wroat. When my rage was sated, and I lost count of how many I killed, the uprising was ended. When I was finally arrested and brought in front of my father, he was mortified at the actions I took. He exiled me from the kingdom, never to return upon threat of execution if I tried. TLDR: Mob uprising, killed sister I loved, massacred scores of people to exact vengeance.

[@mdalsted]

During the side campaign I attended with my brother, my character -- a goblin based on Max from Sam & Max -- noticed the unhygienic smell of my brother's character -- who is literally just Strade from Boyfriend to Death in a fantasy setting, and made a champion of the goblin god despite being a human. One roll later (I forget what the roll was for or whether it failed or not), Maxim the Goblin thinks Strade smells great. He asks him how he bathes himself. Strade's response was something along the lines of, "...Bathe...?" Maxim understood immediately, and in a tone akin to having discovered the answer to one of life's great mysteries, said, "Note to self: Never bathe again!"

[@theofficerfactory2625]

That time I delved in TTRPGs and forgotten about it and how I rediscovered it. This is a long, long, LONG story and one I feel I have to tell and there is no other TTRPG group where I can tell such a story other than here. So please, allow me to tell you all a tale of discovery, woe, hardship and heart ache and recovery. A bit of a background; I am a model railroader, an avid wargamer and new to TTRPG and I love cats. Years, years ago; maybe 6 years ago, I took my first dive into TTRPGs. It was the pathfinder starter set and at the time, I started my commission mini painting service so I had some fantasy minis already painted up. I knew that with time and circumstances, I would probably never get into playing with anyone so I had the idea to use the pathfinder system to write a story. basically, I would solo play a campaign and in a composition book, write down everything that has happened but with the idea of maybe I would have to fudge a roll or two to keep the characters alive if I felt, as a writer, is not a proper time to have them killed. Knowing this and knowing that there was far more to pathfinder than what's in the starter kit, I began to explore pathfinder and there, I was stopped dead in my ambitious trek. The price of the books stopped me cold and my jaw hit the floor as I saw all of the books that there was to pathfinder. I estimated there was maybe $500 in books to catch up on and I decided to abandon the plan and my first foray into TTRPGs was lost to time. Then came 2020; the year of tears. In the months of April to June, we lost 2 cats and three kittens and depression was hitting hard and on that June, Warhams started. I became aware of If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device or TTS (Text to speech) and I loved it. It helped rekindle an interest in Warhammer 40k which I also abandoned after being priced out of it and when Warhams was launched, I was watching every episode live as often as I could and then August came and my dad died. Warhams was there to help me get through that rough time of my life and also another cat of ours gave birth to six kittens. It was many a sad day as each of them were adopted out but I am glad to say they are all doing well. The summer of 2021 rolled around and that company turned hostile to content creators and Warhams was announced to be wrapping up but at the time it was on, it re-sparked, not sparked as I found out later, that interest in TTRPGs and this was quite accidental. I went to my sisters house and my future brother-in-laws home to help "break-in" two new dogs of my sister after loosing yet another cat (RIP the great and epic Mr. Gibbs) and this workation was welcomed. During this time, I discovered on KZbin people who read reddit posts and out of the three I started to watch, I only follow one nowadays but during this time, I discovered MrRipper and I ritually began watching 5 videos a day and boy, that took months to catch up on. Somedays I watched 6 or 7 videos. I loved the stories on the channel and I was soon watching others such as Critcrab, AllThingsDND, critical kunic, crispy's tavern, the Crowe's perch, den of the drake, dnd doge among others and so, I bought the players handbook after reading my BIL's copy. I should add that before this time, during 2019, I was backing kickstarters that involved minis that interest me and the steamforge games Animal Adventures had me hooked and so I backed it. I received my minis (cats and catacombs) and I backed the next one; the adventure book and when that arrived, I had a book but was missing the main rules; DND 5e. When I bought the PHB (players handbook), I made Briask, my awakened ragdoll rogue. Yes, I am fully aware that ragdolls are perhaps the worst kind of cat to have as a rogue and although the rules don't cover specific breeds, I am going to role-play Briask as needing help to get to high places as jumping is not a ragdolls thing and if he is ever flipped and held, he would be automatically proned but I misread the way the stats were being rolled up and thought the modifiers were the actual scores. It wasn't til I found up JoCat's crap guide to DND that I realized my mistake and correctly redid Briaks's stats. It wasn't til November that I played my first ever DND game with Briask at a gaming/ anime convention and had a lot of fun. I wish I knew the name of our DM so I can thank him. He was an excellent DM that allowed me to play the animal adventures mod and with that, Briask. In January, we lost another cat and this one has been the hardest yet. Abby our blind Russian Blue. RIP Abby, our little Tsarina. Her loss affected me badly. I began making work related videos on May 2021 and after her death, I stopped making videos, stopped writing and stopped TTRPGs as a whole until this past March where I begun playing in my BIL's dnd campaign as Tascus; a tabaxi rogue and begun watching the Belkinus: Necrohunt campaign. What an amazing campaign that is as Rotgrind began streaming too. Last year, I backed another 5e mod called The Delver's Guide To The Beast World on kickstarter and on their discord, they announced play tests and in April, I played in two of these. The first one was the first time I played a female character. Eris; the warrior nun. A lv 3 fighter, lv 2 cleric and she played far better than I anticipated. I kept her character sheet and hoping I can play her again. I also discovered that firearms hurt; a lot. Our DM for this used the beginning scenario of Historia, another dnd mod that I never knew about. The 2nd playtest had us test out the wagon rules and I begrudgingly made it at first but soon had fun making our parties wagon. Yeah, that has a ways to go as I also created Bael. Bael is one of the smaller feline races of the Delver's Guide when compared to lions and jaguars; he was a fluffy ragdoll ish character. He was a lv 9 gunslinger fighter, lv 6 inquisitive rogue and he had two rifles and a pistol. Judge, a +1 hunting rifle, Jury, a six shot revolver and Executioner, a +3 hunting rifle. I flavored the rifles to be revolver rifles and the cartridges being a waxy ignitable paper with the primer being a form of alchemist stone imbued with magic to create the bang to send the bullets down range. It also excuses his ability to rapidly reload his weapons as they are stiff cartridges. I still feel that he could fire the rifles single handedly and go all John Wayne but eh, it is what it is. Abby's death still weighs heavily on me but it seems that I have moved on as I started making work related videos again and this time added my content to include product reviews and build along videos. Due to circumstances, I had to partially move out of the shop that I inherited after my dads death to continue working and me and my brother redid our rooms after 14 years of stagnation and during this, I found my pathfinder starter still intact. With Pathfinder 2e being a thing now, I may try again and write the story of the Knights of Entrise or continue with dnd with what I hope will be my first campaign; titled The Age Of Shattering. I hope I can explain the story behind this and my ideas of this potential campaign one day. Also, this Friday, I am going to run my first ever one-shot. And that is that. Thank you for taking your time to read this and I wish you all a good day.

[@T4N7]

I hadn't seen thst greasy tales episode yet so thx for the Space Walrus

[@WhyNot-ez8gf]

Heres a story that happened just 3 days ago. Good part of the party couldnt make it, so just me (artillerist artificer) and one other pc (wizard), we both being lvl 4 were slightly lost without any tank or any healing but a first lvl artificer cure wounds and a healing potion, so the dm used this sesh to introduce a new pc. We were supposed to enter a bandit camp to defeat two low lvl easy af bandits that were just there to signal us that we should enter a hut which concealed a dungeon with the new pc, we could have easily clapped thise bandits in direct combat, but we chose violence, so we did the only logical thing, we first tried to force them out of their basenand then lock them out by using 2 cards from the deck of illusions, well, one card was a goblin with a spear and the second was a priest and 2 deciples, wizard made the priest chant about the world ending usinf minor illusion. The guys figured out they were illusions by schokring the goblin card on accident, so they started igniring the priest aswell. So we did the only logical thing, i was walking around the perimeter using firebolt, a flamethrower eldrich cannon and some good rolls to light the wooden walls on fire while wizard was zipping around the forrest makeing illusion fire appear on random other wall segments while casting toll the dead on the bandits. The first bandits head immedeately exploded due to a high ass damage roll on toll the dead, then the second bandid got hit by a low rolled toll the dead, he now was seeing everything around him burning, was hearing random bells from seemingly nowhere and a priest chanting about the world ending shortly after his friends head just blew up, so he fell to his knees and started praying, but the wizard illusioned the priest shouting in a loud voice that the bandid will have to pay for his sins, so the bandid just started crying and shot himselfnwith his crossbow, we psychoterrord our way thru a really easy encounter because we are stupid.

[@disableddragonborn]

"30 lbs of powdered bones" if that's 30 lbs of intact bones, that's badass. 30 lbs of powdered bones, that's terrifying. Where would you get enough bones? Graverobbing? 🤣

[@robertpowell9982]

A grick managed to grab ahold of my halfling rogue, next turn it tossed him across the room into another player's dwarf cleric who kind of succeeded an athletics check to try to catch him but I got a nat20 acrobatics so my halfling basically landed on his shoulders striking a pose like cheerleaders in the middle of combat! Meanwhile in the same battle another player's human fighter tossed a nothic he befriended on top of the grick (btw the grick was on fire the whole time) and the nothic went up in flames as well (he just finished devouring a goblin covered in oil). And the grick managed to squirm around and grab the nothic in its mouth while both are on fire. The fighter then sliced the grick's head off and the nothic, still on fire, freaks out and runs off, with the fighter running after his now fiery friend. It was certainly a battle...

[@abcdefgh-wi7kr]

I LOVE TEACHING DMs ABOUT DUST EXPLOSIONS

[@LordDukane]

So, our crew decided to try out a 3rd party Fallout TTRPG. I basically made Healy McDoctorson the 4th, but the rest of that cast would be, our hilarious gm, a psycho robot that would make Bender from Futurama look like a kitten, a deathclaw doctor, a super neurotic mechanic, and a mechanodog professor. We were exploring ruined steelworks west of Chicago when we come across abandoned auto steel mill. Our psycho robot mentions the Rock-It Launcher we found on a previous mission (for those not in the knew, it's a Fallout launcher that will shoot ANYTHING that will fit down the barrel). We all could smell the horrible idea bubbling to light as it was shared among this table full of insanity. Our mechanic sets up the milling equipment as the robot and mechanodog find vehicle grade steel ready to be worked. The party spends hours milling metal penises specifically to shoot at the enemy. Our GM asks the famous question "Are you sure?" That was when the party passed the point of no return. The GM joyfully tells us we have effectively renamed the weapon, and on that day we gave birth to the most demoralizing of weapons, the PHUKKER CHUKKER!

[@bigg_chowder7655]

My Yuan-Ti Abomination Paladin’s Backstory The Yuan-Ti raided a town looking for new slaves and civilians to do rituals on. They ended killing half the guards and running off with more than half the towns teenagers and newborns. The person you know now as Quetzal was one of these newborns. The Yaun-Ti decided to do the transformation rituals on the newborns so they can grow their army. Quetzal’s body took extremely well to the ritual and he was transformed into a baby Abomination. The Yaun-ti surprised and amazed by this took extreme care of the newborn and raised him so he could join the army. He was given the name Quetzalcoatl after the Snake God of War. As Quetzalcoatl grew up he was trained and taught the way of the Yaun-ti. He would have nightmares throughout the years of a burning town and black figures that were bigger at him just staring, then he would wake up in sweats and on some occasions screaming, he would ask why he is having this nightmare but the elders would not answer him and the ones that did would vaguely answer the question and/or lie to him so he would leave them alone. This went on for as long as he can remember. As time went be he grew into a formidable soldier and would be trusted in going out to do solo missions. On one such mission as he is returning to the temple he called home he decides to take a nap under a tree. The nightmare had returned and for some reason that he cannot explain he found them to feel familiar. With this knew knowledge he decided to head back to the temple he called home and tell the elders what he felt. As he was coming into view of the temple he saw it was burning and when he got the the base of the temple he noticed there was no one around. He does not know if the Yuan-ti that captured him are dead or if the abandoned the temple and sent no one to tell him. With so many questions about the nightmares and no one around to answer them he left the temple and decided to find someone who can help him. With his new found freedom Quetzalcoatl had to provide for himself and went into the only job that fit his skills, along with being the only thing he knew, mercenary work. He did this for some years and still having the nightmares plague him, he is still looking for someone who can help him.

[@toddhoward6659]

While playing a Goliath barbarian, we encountered a group of orcs. Since my character wanted to know why they were there before he made them leave or stay forever he obeyed their command to "drop your weapons". he did this by just unbuckling his war belt (a thick leather and fur kilt/skirt thing) which was all he was wearing. for fun my DM says "Roll for dick size" we decided in the end that a Goliath would roll a d12 and add his CON modifier for length and CON mod would be with. with that settled and one roll later I was also rolling intimidation for revealing my third leg which was 13 x 3 inches. this took nearly an hour at the table because we couldn't keep a straight face.

[@geoffreyperrin4347]

I am playing a knowledge cleric triton in a campaign for my best friend where magic byproducts mutated aquatic animals until they became the new humanoids of the world replacing the old. My character insists humans used to exist. My friend's friend made fun of it by claiming to know about hoomans. He described it as this horrid creature... And my best friend made us fight a Hooman. My friend's friend said "it was a joke! Hoomans don't exist!" And he said "you thought they were a joke. Roll for initiative."

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Fun fact about my Dragonborn Barbarian: He’s manhandled every bard he’s come across This wasn’t planned, it just turned out this way The tiefling gets punted, the variant human gets grabbed by the face and tossed around And his kobold gf? She gets manhandled the most, if ya know what I mean 😏

[@kwildspirit]

Quickie story: My party spent 20 minutes debating on how to break into a cat shelter, broke both the door, and the window, got 2 cats before an alarm sounded, which resulted in me and a cleric went to blend into the crowd as the two of us were standing outside the shelter, leaving 4 of the party members in the shelter, while a halfling, who worked for the shelter asked if they broke into said shelter, resulting in a competition. One of the party members rolled Deception, and DM rolled, I call a 20 and, what do you know, a 20. I get told to look at the die, and begin slowly clapping, with the rest of the table clapping alongside with me and the table erupts into laughter, and after all the hysterics, four of the party members are banned from the shelter, after paying 245 GP (I joined a few sessions late), 150 covered damages, and 95, as a donation to the shelter. TL:DR We lost 245 GP while trying to get an amulet because most of the party wanted to get cats.

[@disableddragonborn]

What the fuck did that pirate do that made him a wanted criminal *_in an area that is a safe haven for pirates_*?! It seems like you'd have to violate the Geneva Convention!

[@NightMare-og4hx]

Its pretty hard to find a Group in 2022 ( online) so....

[@charliehandfield8649]

So my dm made me birthday one shot campaign where we were in chicly cheese. And it was amazing i our party’s bard decided I wanted to be a fighter apparently so I tried to fight thing that were annoying me. It started with fighting some of the animatronics that we’re playing off tune sacrifice my flute as I smashed it over one their heads like a moron. And then there was the minions that sing you happy birthday it’s surrounded me and we’re singing quite often lead to be honest . So I drop kicked it at this time another one of our members who is playing a druid decided to go look in the kitchen as we were receiving quite nasty food to her surprise she found a cake mimic and rather than call us or anything she decided to say set the place on fire so I thought minions and a burning Chuck E. Cheese while I am monk who had been late to the seshion and was just starting decided to help me out now this was all good until the building was too much on fire for us to continue Friday which we drop kicked as many as we The Minions as we could and booked it for the exit. We ended the campaign by fighting the cake mimic which was quite enraged for being set on fire and everything. It was an amazing birthday gift my DM gave me and even with me leaving out stuff like the Rogue that decided to screw this and head to the tavern across the street well I know all this chaos happened and the birthday duck which are druid tamed and hoarded my duck. Anyways I have to say thank you to my dm because it was amazing

[@disableddragonborn]

The only way someone could get me to play as a bard is if I could seduce the Tarrasque.

[@arandomguy7886]

Hi

[@BrianVaughnVA]

Hi