RAW + HONEST MILITARY SPOUSE Q&A | Deployment, Boot Camp, Getting Married, + What to Expect

[@xomarissalee]

Answering your questions regarding boot camp, deployment, intimacy, etc. Love doing these videos and y’all asked some GOOD ones! Also want to note that my answers are based solely off of my own personal experiences. My journey may look completely different from another spouse and because of that, I hope you always feel free to share your own perspectives and advice here!! The most beautiful thing about the military community is it’s just one big melting pot of different people, cultures, and walks of life. 💛

[@christinaorso2640]

I have been a marine wife for a year now (dating him all through his boot camp and schools) and I feel like you are so wise! I loved listening to this. We live in Norfolk and he is going to Quanico in August-October! I’d love to meet you if you are still around there :) thanks your this vid

[@xomarissalee]

Thank you! I feel like there’s always more to learn, but I enjoy sharing my experience as I go 💛 I’d love to meet!

[@LifeWithMamaanati]

Slightly want to touch base on two main topics you spoke on and give another perspective on it : 1) in regards to kids and moving home, me and mine actually had a conversation about this the other day and decided it's better for me the stay wherever it is we are stationed. Just like you made it a point to say that is where you've built your home and established a life for yourself, the children have as well. Especially if they are attending school, friends and so on . Unless you absolutely need to go home, the smartest choice would be to stay where you are for your children's sake and your own as well. Worst case, you can always book a flight home for a few days if needed. It's less expensive than having to pack everything and move home for x amount of time. 2.) In regards to family, pay attention to actions. Not everyone is in a position to book flights and visit constantly but FaceTime and video chats exist. Phone calls ... that's a big one. Do they call you on your birthdays ? For the holidays ? If you have kids, do they make an effort to check up on you and ask how you are every now and then. Do they call in general and what is the reason for the call? That's something to think about. When you go home, do they visit you or are you the one who has to visit them ? Everyone's situation is different but if people know where you are and just choose not to stop by for a moment to say hi and see you but expect you to go to them ... pay attention to things like that. It's a two way street, remember that. I stopped caring about people who don't care about us and only put effort into those who put effort into me and my family. Not everyone has the privilege to travel but distance shouldn't mean anything. Take it personal enough to know where you stand in their life but don't take it personal enough to let it affect your overall emotions. Dont worry about those who don't worry about you. The military life is a blessing in disguise bc it shows you people's true colors. Just bc they are blood does not mean you owe them any ounce of loyalty. Put effort into those who put effort into you.

[@LifeWithMamaanati]

Keep in mind, we are fortunate enough to live in the same state and only have one family member who visits us out of everyone else. At most (1-2x a year given their schedule) It's a drive we understand but it's still manageable and more affordable compared to paying for plane tickets . We understand everyone situation and we don't take it personal but we pay attention to who at least tries to keep communication with us. Who is genuinely wanting to still be apart of our lives as well as the kids lives even if we have a few hundred miles of distance between us. I don't really have 'friends' anymore for this exact reason . Those who love you and want to be around you will show it one way or another .

[@xomarissalee]

Thank you Nathaly 🙌💛 So blessed to have crossed paths with you!!

[@andrealor117]

Great tips! I love your share on individualism when your husband is not present. You fill your own cup without him and when you both are reunited, you both are strong together.

[@xomarissalee]

Yes exactly! Thank you 💛

[@megastitches]

This is a very great video! I love how you have agreement of not having your phones when you guys are spending time together, and I mean all the questions are questions that I have had or I am still trying to have answers to these, thank you for not making me feel alone. 🌸❤️🙏

[@xomarissalee]

Aww thank you! So glad you found value in my video!! 💛

[@RamoGezus]

Great advice! Beyond proud of how thoughtful and articulate you are. 😊

[@xomarissalee]

💛💛

[@Emma-it4wk]

your videos are so great!!! what do you use to edit?!

[@rileypart1]

Yesterday or weekend, I never got a chance to write question because I spend my time on Memorial Day and weekend reflect how many fallen heroes we have lost a while back and some not too long like 8 Marines and Corpsman was killed back in July 30th training accident. It’s really hit me hard, that I know hear and know about their stories before tragic accident.

[@xomarissalee]

That truly was such a tragic accident. Every Memorial Day, my heart feels so heavy for all of the fallen. The gold star families are always in my prayers 💛