Reacting to r/CrusaderKings, the best reddit page ever

[@HeyCara]

yello! i hope y'all enjoyed me looking at some posts that stood out to me from r/crusaderkings for.. a *number* of reasons xd lemme know what y'all think about videos like this too! it's my first time really doing anything like this, so give me your feedback pls uwu 🥺

[@VonBlade]

I love all your videos. The only thing I'm not keen on is 9pm PST is 5am BST for a live, even my insomnia isn't that good. Obv not asking you to move to a less convenient time for one follower.

[@ericng5374]

Do a ck meme review video!

[@shacklock01]

funny

[@TheBc99]

Reddit is overwhelming to me (I also have ADHD hi) so videos like this making the posts digestible are hella ideal.

[@TheBc99]

@@VonBlade Mate try living in Australia XD

[@alexbattaglia8297]

In regards to the 'Rice' of England, 'Rice' was the Anglo-Saxon (or old English) name for realm/kingdom, similar to German 'Reich'

[@mixter1257]

The more you know

[@kindadumb916]

It’s weird though, I am pretty sure that not a vanilla mechanic

[@alexmuller6752]

in ck2 it is, iirc you can activate sth like cultural title names in the game rules

[@Kevin-zv6ds]

@@alexmuller6752 This

[@DanksterPaws]

@@kindadumb916its a mod im p sure. I dont remember which one though.

[@xionkuriyama5697]

"just keep adding romes" is basically exactly how the Third Rome claim happened

[@keltongillanders5736]

Its also how the next rome will happen

[@DavidSmith-mt7tb]

When you think stuff that happens in CK is unrealistic and then you pick up an actual history book and it's like on second thought, this would totally happen.

[@user-gn6wz9fe1c]

Sauron getting debated to death isn't too far off how early German reformation debates went, The Leipzig debate was truly the theologians' youtuber boxing match.

[@mahatmaniggandhi2898]

@@user-gn6wz9fe1c wasnt one guy thrown out the window?

[@user-gn6wz9fe1c]

@@mahatmaniggandhi2898 I don't remember it happening in Leipzig during that debate but it wasn't an uncommon occurrence lmao, I remember defenestration happened a lot in Prague and one of the Zwingli debates defiantly lead to a few deaths .

[@mahatmaniggandhi2898]

@@user-gn6wz9fe1c 🤣🤣🤣

[@Zacharoni4085]

@@mahatmaniggandhi2898 That’s a Czech thing. Happens every decade or so.

[@sapphoarnold2610]

R/ crusaderkings is a ride always no matter the day or the time

[@NoNameAtAll2]

/r/FoundTheMobileUser

[@kurosu-samaklipleri7090]

*Ride* 😏

[@wallyvargas-rios9305]

Barons in Crusader Kings, both 2 and 3, have always racked up ridiculous amounts of gold, having so little to spend hundreds of years of inherited income on. This is a problem with Court Chaplains in CK3 especially because they hold EVERY temple in your demesne at once (if you don't have Lay Clergy in your faith). This is why they made it so much harder to invite characters to your court. Every time someone lost a holy war in Iberia, that'd be be a half dozen cities and temples getting revoked all at once and, consequently, that many random lowborn characters with tons of artifacts and thousands of gold running around Europe you could invite to your court for basically free, to banish or execute as you pleased. CK2's exploits were goddamn ridiculous: who needs to actually develop their country when you could just RP as the British Museum and let other countries' wars funnel all the wealth to you?

[@aw2584]

I have a recollection of having my bishops or rather barons imprisoned and executed in CK2 as it would cause the geltz to be inherited by mua; I think it required me to revoke their title first as otherwise the inheritance would go to the next autogenerated baron but after removing titles, prisoners with no family would lose all their money to you; with adequate crown authority revoking baron titles would not cause any negative penalties so... free money basically. Such a dumb exploit lmao

[@shawnb1649]

In CK3. Create Christian(or other) faith that allows clergy to marry. Matrilineally marry a rich clergy near death dude into your court with a past fertility woman . Give him a barony and wait for him to die. Profit. In CK2, find way to get rich lowborn into your court and wait for them to die. Profit.

[@viroshanargiri4641]

Too bad paradox has nerfed then to ground.

[@prestonjones1653]

7:55 In both CK2 and CK3 I always loved to find a random fucking peasant and start giving out titles of high nobility to them. It was always hilarious. "But your Majesty, he is not a noble!" "I will *make* him noble."

[@asriellian]

Best way to have loyal nobles under you tbh

[@jeffersonclippership2588]

Kings literally could do that. Joan of Arc's family was granted noble status. In the late Medieval period nobles would sell their titles to wealthy merchants. That's why you have events like that in EU4.

[@prestonjones1653]

@@jeffersonclippership2588 It's especially a great slap in the face if the established nobles if I rescind the titles of a rebelling vassal, give them to said peasant, and force them to watch. Then execute or banish the rebel.

[@oscarredfearn3492]

Literally Stannis Baratheon

[@Lampoluke]

Poland peaked with 12% population being nobleman. Basically you would see a strong breadmaker and ask him if he wanted to fight pagans with you. If he accepted then younwould have to promote him to nobleman so that he could fight alongside you.

[@StalwartTirith]

10:45 "Is this Henry VIII's burner account" has to be the best response ever.

[@sandercohen5543]

Your court chaplain will spend his gold on improving church holdings in your personal holdings (will not build new churches), but usually he has way more income than he can realistically spend. Since he doesn't really have any other expenses, his wealth just accumulates to rediculous proportions. In a game i played as coptic abyssinia, my court chaplain had over a million gold by the end of the run. One. Million. Gold. So yeah, if you wanna trivialize the economy of the game, you can just imprison and banish your court chaplain every 50 years or so.

[@mateuszslawinski1990]

I made custom character once, married a woman from far away and after couple of years my court priest accused me of incest: "your wife is your cousin! Divorce her now!" He didn't like me, so it was obvious slander, but still hilarious.

[@Zacharoni4085]

The funniest is when your character’s wife/husband is not even the same race. My Nestorian Christian, Mongol character married a Nubian woman and my court priest accused me of incest. I think it’s obvious to everyone they are not siblings, but I guess not to the AI.

[@garak55]

@@Zacharoni4085 "I don't see race" energy.

[@itmkoeln]

Starting a war over a toy boat is not so unrealistic... I mean in Italy they had a war over a oak bucket in Emilia-Romagna between Modena and Bologna

[@Ajvt-ux4ec]

Not true.

[@-landon931]

True!

[@HungMantis]

@@Ajvt-ux4ecit is true some kids stole a bucket from a town that town asked for the bucket back the other town said no so they went to war the town got another bucket stolen from them in spite

[@domesticcat1725]

1 man besieging 1 man feels like a monty python sketch

[@ConnanTheCivilized]

“Does anybody else have a problem with MARCHING DOWN THE SQUARE!?”

[@calimerohnir3311]

a random unrelated vassal once threatened me with war unless I give him my firstborn milktooth

[@harakiri8219]

14:00 Dude straight up got Lady Dimitrescu in his court

[@Prauwlet213]

0:44 I'd imagine the siege is just them two yelling at each other, or the one laying siege just trying to tear the walls down with his bare hands

[@cardboardking577]

I was imagining the seiging guy running around the castle walls and screaming at anyone carrying supplies

[@amadeobordiga8464]

I mean, the Sauron debate one is kinda canon-compatible. In the Silmarillion, he did debate an elven-king to _his_ not-quite death. (See: Beren and Lúthien, when Finrod Felagund loses a rap-battle against Sauron). The part of the lay (epic poem) describing his death reads (very much abridged): _He chanted a song of wizardry,_ _Of piercing, opening, of treachery,_ _Revealing, uncovering, betraying._ [...] _The captives sad in Angband mourn._ _Thunder rumbles, the fires burn -_ _And Finrod fell before the throne._ So yes, Saruman could absolutely kill Sauron in a debate.

[@Pikkabuu]

I was had a similarish case of that 1v1 siege. So in CK2 I brought a large army to besiege a castle held by ONE guy. Moral would have dropped to zero in about a month and I still had to wait for 12 days to assault the place. Thankfully didn't lose any troops assaulting the place.

[@Curtis006]

Imagine your supreme religious leader destroying you with a letter like that

[@dr0g_Oakblood]

11:18 - it happened to me with good ol Haesteinn and the *historical son he starts with* in my first long ck3 game way back when. I was just confused and was like, wait what legit how this is a historical character how was he fathered by a vassal that generated after game start? Fun times. I failed Family Circle for similar reasons and had to just play a matrilineal game in Iceland.

[@aestheticsbyanna]

the picture at 1:52 always freaks my out, but not because of the assassin, because of the SHEER AMOUNT OF OPEN FIRE NEXT TO A BED WITH A NEW MOTHER AND A BABY. WHO APPROVED THIS

[@YungKilogram]

0:44 King Arthur against the French

[@abzabza2]

Omg, that's so genius yet obvious, giantess dlc! How come I haven't thought of that before

[@ianhoughton2426]

I once added concubines to my culture. Pope didn’t like it and asked me to change the culture and I said no. Kept my concubines. Several years later a new pope shared my culture. Didn’t have a wife but had 2 concubines and several kids.

[@prim16]

Ngl, 10 feet tall is barely gìantess... make her a thousand feet tall, and I'd buy that DLC

[@ВикторЙорданов-н3л]

brazil moment

[@anthonycarver971]

“I’m pretty sure something like that has happened with a pope before” just about anything imaginable has happened with a pope. One forgot what religion he was a part of, one died from jumping out of a castle window after having ‘relations’ with a lord’s wife (there is also a statue to commemorate him), and the majority of them often took bribes from lords to legitimize their claims on territory. Just to name a few things recorded in pope history.

[@ctdaniels7049]

Don't forget that there *was* technically a Pope from Africa... but that was during the Roman occupation of Africa so he was still Italian. :P

[@andyhx2]

10:02 I don't remember in CK2 but in CK3 it so happens quite often I'd say that there is fairly young pope - like 30 to 40 years old. I once actually got a 20 year old guy. I was bullying the poor lad by taking all of his holdings, kidnapping him and murdering all of his family (his mother and sisters) to excomunicate me because I was going for Basque in my glory and wanted to reform Iberian religion and he didn't even do it...

[@SiodogRehane]

The castle man is like that movie meme "Come out to fight coward!" "No!"

[@TheBasedTyrant]

I once got an artifact demand from my brother for my sister's baby tooth, of course I rejected him and he later claimed my throne throwing the entire empire into a civil war.

[@Fobiusz]

Personally i think your summary of reddit about ck3 was quite intresting. Long live pharaoh from Kiev!

[@ragnarian]

I find giving vassalages to family members, whether kids, cousins, uncles, whatever as long theyre in the list of inheritance is the best way to ensure succession No matter what, you wont lose the gsme, and dying can help sometimes

[@drakan4769]

10:24 I take it you're not familiar with the Borgia pope?

[@Punaparta]

0:46 "Mornin' Radulf." "Mornin' Samuel."

[@TheBc99]

My favourite / least favourite CK2 quote is, "But she's such a little morsel!"

[@ulysses9488]

0:43 Can you even call that a siege? It sounds like 2 people who really just don't want to be sent to a more dangerous battle, if they weren't then they're both incredibly lazy since the other would be asleep at some point

[@paulolucero9864]

I dropped my doomstack against an at least 3 times as weaker stack of muslims in a crusade and they beat me by having like 100 times more knights than me and everyone else. I don't know how but maybe the sheer amount of weak countries participating led them to have just so much knights.

[@andrewgreenwood9068]

The PDX community scares me. I never know when they are serious.

[@macezunner8559]

"Never make your realm to big." Me, planning to turn Prussia into Greater Germany and commit lebensraum: "I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that."

[@prestonjones1653]

Idk who this woman is, but I saw the title and knew I needed to be a pary of it. Subbed.

[@AlexS-oj8qf]

Dude, there should be an event on Crusade where the top 5 most powerful contributor get to debate over who got to lead the whole army and they will spawn at Rome and the strongest guy will have control over it, but as the weaker guy you get to create dissent and walk away or split the crusader army through duel-like event and if you won you get to lead an army or you can just leave the crusade but will risk being excommunicated, unless the strongest guy is completely a buffoon and get excommunicated himself like 4th Crusade.

[@svenkrules9855]

12:30 It's the same in CK2 as well except it was for the Mayors/City rulers/vassals. I once managed to get around 2k+ gold during the reign of my first ruler at the start of a new playthrough.

[@94Aegir]

This was great fun to watch.

[@ctdaniels7049]

The spooky sound effect at 1:44 made me pause the video and check if someone had turned on the sink. :P

[@austincantswim3383]

The thing about hyper rich court chaplains is specific to temporal clergy. The biggest faiths that have temporal clergy at start are Catholicism and Orthodoxy. I believe all Muslim sects are lay clergy, so that’s why they don’t inherit an absurd amount of money.

[@Fuer64]

7:08 That's what I love about being a catholic ruler. The pope becomes your sugar daddy.

[@95Tanner]

You can also take the gold from a realm priest from a different realm, just kidnap (which is almost impossible), recruit, then imprison and finally banish.

[@F1fan4eva]

I usually don't like react content but this was funny and wholesome all at the same time

[@jinxedfates]

im so glad i found you i love this hfhxb

[@eielanhyacinth3307]

Okay but Sauron being debated to death actually happened in the book, but in reverse. He had a rap battle with Finrod Felagund (Galadriel's brother) and the poem essentially describes it as a conflict between different ideologies, but Finrod loses in the end due to his guilt over the First Kinslaying.

[@PaulKettlebones]

14:00 minute mark, the girl turns and fourth wall break stares at the player. Approaching the monitor like Pennywise. 😈

[@TheAgamidaex]

3:27 actually not a bad idea "I saw this mobile ad screenshot... and made it real"

[@Cyril86]

6:15 Alot of historical Popes were quite powerful. And some of them were fairly young, too.. With special mention to Pope Benedict IX, who was about 20 years old when he became Pope.

[@zombieoverlord5173]

Shout out to pope John XII. If you know you know

[@Lazarus7000]

14:53 basically that "Fuck you. Strong letter to follow." telegram.

[@StalwartTirith]

Okay yeah cool video and all but can we talk about that shark plush in the background and how I need one?

[@theslayn1049]

Hey I did manage to vassalize the pope. Memory is a little fuzzy but if I remember correctly I fought a Dejure duchy war when the pope only held one county. Because of how those wars work the pope became a vassal in my realm. Weirdly because the pope is a kingdom tier title it automatically made him a king but I couldn’t make him my priest.

[@000Dragon50000]

Halsin from Baldur's Gate 3 making a cameo in CK2:

[@Harime]

we definitely need more of these lmaoo

[@baabaaer]

5:38 Wang Lang moment. Just another chat for Zhuge Liang.

[@fatty3383]

This games absolutely hilarious if you want it to be.. especially when you can switch characters of different kingdoms and cause painful chaos..and go back to your own character and press on like nothing ever happened 😂

[@pawtistic]

1:43 scared me so much i almost had a heart attack...

[@whiter0473]

I love these new videos, you have really come far in your videos!

[@j0hncarp]

1:42 jesus that woke me up

[@Inryaat2465]

One time, i was so stressed as Heastein that i turned my Religion to Hellenic. well, who doesnt know about the greek Vikings that lived in France

[@ashutoshtripathi.]

12:36 I repeatedly get over 100k gold in my world-conquest playthrough of my Indian king.

[@chriswillis713]

The siege: how did you get those coconuts?

[@largesmh7294]

good job baby c:

[@Tommy20136]

This video was a great idea lmfao

[@robsright4256]

Rice is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent to Reich, basically. 5:29

[@ferretman6790]

7:37 this has happened to me multiple times 😂

[@Ajvt-ux4ec]

5:35 hey that’s my post!

[@TheKurtkapan34]

r/shitcrusaderkings say is literally my fav sub

[@Biomirth]

This had me rolling. Been awhile but the memes check out.

[@shacklock01]

Ohlawd Id allmost forgotten about epic ck2 trait stacking.

[@SarahSnow99]

creating a russian polar bear dynasty was definitely my favorite memory of CKII

[@amadeobordiga8464]

Once, when I was very new to ck3, I got the option to convert to Judaism as stress relief. I didn't realise that it was converting me to any religion -- I just saw that it didn't give me a negative trait & that I'd lose stress, so I picked it. All of a sudden the HRE was demanding I convert religion. I was confused and said "no". Then he tried to strip me of my title. At this point I'd worked out I was Jewish now, and I was insulted by this demand and refused to get a game-over. So he invaded me. As tiny baby Bavaria or Steyermark or something I ended up losing the war spectacularly, but managed to escape from prison. The entire process started up again, and I ended up losing the game. But hey, at least it wasn't as bad as the time my 11-year-old son, the King of England outed me as gay to all of Europe, because I decided that seducing an Irishman (as the King of Munster) required going on a trip to London, for some reason.

[@gindrinkersline3285]

0:15 Someone should alert Vaush to this.

[@raptorcell6633]

Oh I've sat down and now I've fucking died

[@VonBlade]

10:16 - kzbin.info/www/bejne/eHimm6Swd5edhqM in case anyone doesn't know the reference (which given it's one of his lesser known films, is possible)

[@Steven-ly9ei]

Really big lakes are such a rome thing 😂

[@Belks1453]

3:46 Allat land and the ai still cant form rome because the papal states exist

[@swagsolotl]

One time my heir randomly had 5000gold. Idk why tho he just had it.

[@EkoFranko]

LE REDDIT LE INCEST LE FUNNI MEME OMG. What a clownfest Paradox had become.

[@a_lethe_ion]

Well that was Habsburg & co for you. Chins, bleeder...

[@AprilSBarnes]

Im so jealous of your makeup skills omg

[@TheUnspeakableh]

Holy shit, my own comment in a KZbin video. Nice!

[@DLLW93]

Pope can I get a divorce from my wife? Pope: Our wife* No.

[@hellmes1826]

Sorry but that noise at 1.48 made me think a demon had emerged from the floorboards of my house. Why would you do that.

[@DaRoachDoggJR.]

9:34 Cara...Did...Did you just try to downvote the post in the screenshot

[@turdferguson7140]

I was 38 years old with the best player I ever had my 16 year old son ambitious / callous / Impatient elusive shadow 😢

[@SleepyLazyPanda]

ok that was hilarious lmao

[@joshdavis3743]

I hate how they call it r/Crusaderkings the games are so different. They need one for each!!! The OG is still the best.

[@Makarosc]

Honestly the thing about the crusades getting overrun by much larger Muslim armies is what happened most of the time they just got lucky the first few times

[@TekEffekt]

Does she have a twitch?

[@therainbowconnection6813]

Wait you mean people don't actually die of heart attacks after debating Ben Shapiro?

[@Leverquin]

once i got son in ck2 and he was bastard. not sure why. first child with wifu. i had to legitimize him

[@zignik2213]

I wonder if it's possible to get rid from a weird fetish.

[@keltongillanders5736]

Oh.. oh no.. to the outside world R/CrusaderKings is probably terrifying but it really is a fun game 🤣🤣

[@Selesto1]

There is stuff ike this, and than there is the stuff i entcounter...let me tell you a story Kids! Started a New Game, created a new charakter, Norse etc etc, young lad, 16 years old, without wife/Family. So I looked for a suitable Wife, found her a few years later, me now beeing 18, she 16, we fell in Love, became soulmates, did basically everthing together. She got a place in court, she joined me for feasts, we went Hunting together. On one such hunting Trip, insteat of Hunting She an I started to fool around insteat, on the way to a secluded area I picked a Wildflower a gifted it to her. Lifes goes on, we grow older, first kid is on its way, its a boy, two more follow, both girls, perfect. We grow older and older, the realm prospers, the family is at peace, She an I always support one another. We are now both 88 and 86. She dies of old age before me. I look trough stuff, open a book, and what do I find? The same, now dryed Flower I gifet her more than 60 years ago. Ngl. I was close to shed a tear there. Needless to say, I kept the Flower as a family token for the hole game. Also Alexa, play "Bersek- Guts theme"

[@EternalVirgin]

Damn bro you can write a novel with that

[@J0krswy1d]

Subscribed.

[@smasherlol351]

Can you make a mod list if you have one...

[@farmersuiticles]

Love your content, but especially this which opens up millennial meme porn to an old fart like me which is actually pretty funny. But publicly I'll tut and wag a finger of disapproval.

[@space__idklmao]

The thumbnail is u/brazilianestophile right?