reacting to your parenting hot takes!

[@rhenaravanderhaar5414]

As an autistic person that anti vaccine argument is honestly a little upsetting. By not vaccinating your kids in fear they will have autism, despite there being no real evidence, is literally saying you would rather lose your child to an easily preventable disease then have then be autistic, like me. Hell even if there was heaps of backed evidence that autism is a possible side effects, it’s still crazy to not vaccinate them based on that.

[@gingerbooklover7263]

Yes!!! I say this all the time!! Being antivax because you’re afraid of your child getting autism is extremely ableist.

[@Biologistemmy]

That’s literally what they said they agreed with you completely?

[@katephilpott]

Omg this is such a good point, I’ve never even thought of it like this!! Thank you for sharing your insight ❤❤

[@rhenaravanderhaar5414]

@@Biologistemmy oh yes I know, I wasn’t refuting them, just the argument in general

[@Lynzeigh]

Same! Anytime I hear this argument, it just shows me you know nothing about autism except for Tyesha fear mongering “information” you’re repeating.

[@Dmimima]

Absolutely hate the take that people who don’t have children can’t have an opinion on parenting. There are millions of incredible teachers, doctors, nannies, nurses, caregivers that don’t have children but have WAY better opinions and tactics than people who actually have children. Also, I personally find this take offensive because I was parentifed as a teenager. My mother was a struggling single mother and so I took care of my baby sister A LOT. And not just the occasional diaper change or babysitting on a Saturday night. I potty-trained her, I took her to dance classes, I put her to sleep on nights when my mom worked late, I made all her bottles, I entertained her, I took her grocery shopping with me . I was 16 years old. Now at 29, I am hesitant to have children BECAUSE I understand how much work goes into having kids. The idea that people who don’t have kids “don’t understand” seems to come from people who had zero significant interaction with children before they had their own and became parents. many people seem to enter parenthood with rose-colored glasses and idealistic dreams. No one who has actually spent significant time with a baby thinks it’s easy. Also, it’s dangerous from a medical perspectives. A mommy who “knows best” because she thinks vaccines are devilish poisons does not know better than a doctor who has spent decades training and understanding the benefit of vaccines.

[@Dmimima]

But agree with every other point!!!!

[@amyriojas]

Unfortunately, doctors don't spend decades studying vaccines.

[@frostbite3507]

THIS!!! 🙌🏼 I’ve changed more diapers, made more bottles, rocked more babies, helped raise many more children than any of my friends who are new parents yet I’m still looked at as clueless. That mentality needs to go!!

[@khaoylel]

I’m a mom of 5 who was a former nanny, foster parent, and preschool teacher. Now that I’m on the other side of it, I feel confident in saying that people without children can have very valid opinions on parenting. Do some loud, obnoxious people run their mouths ignorantly? Absolutely. But that’s the case with anything in life. Have I changed a lot of my views since becoming a parent? Yes. But a lot of that was just personal growth.

[@sometimesyaya5110]

I think there are degrees to this because when I picture this I imagine it as people who have an idealistic idea of parenting without having had any hands on experience. Changing diapers and dealing with tantrums etc is in essence experience in parenting.

[@jesskuhhh4427]

Pretty crazy to hear someone with the mindset that if you’re not a parent you shouldn’t have an opinion (eff caregivers, teachers and medical professionals?) continue to express her opinion on multiple things she hadn’t yet experienced. Wild.

[@avahauge9552]

this is what I'm thinking too...

[@brittannb1194]

Not all childless people are childless by choice either. As someone with 7 angels and no living children, Rachel’s response rubbed me the wrong way. It’s a very entitled way of thinking. I have done so much research into parenting styles and absorbed so much media. I hate the, “you don’t get it because you don’t have kids” attitude because I would give anything to have children. I’m sure my opinions on certain things would change and evolve if I had children but that doesn’t mean I’m not valid in feeling passionately about certain issues around raising kids.

[@Amandalandxoxo]

Loved these hot takes but I’m disappointed in the BH sponsorship. The issues with BH are well known and have been mentioned here before, and I get that sponsors keep the channel going, but it’s disappointing coming from a channel where the cast advocates for mental health

[@cassb4678]

Ooh tea 👀, what’s wrong with BH?!

[@jaykaytherapy]

Surprise! the hot-take is the sponsorship.

[@StealingSunsets]

@@cassb4678BH are known for being a predatory platform with unreliable providers and shady business practices

[@Amandalandxoxo]

@@jaykaytherapy really disappointing they haven’t addressed it. I really thought they had more integrity and accountability than this

[@adelaaraceli]

Agreed! BH is trash.

[@aimteryx]

Trying to give you the benefit of the doubt with the BH sponsorship but a quick search uncovers how disappointing they are.. nobody should be using that service. I would hope you’re looking into brands before accepting a sponsorship

[@savannahblanch1991]

it’s been known for years now. She just wants the check

[@jaymap121]

Truely upsetting, honestly. I adore Sierra and the crew. But better help? Really?!

[@lillylupton420]

What did better help actually do? All I an aware of is that it wasn't as helpful as some people wanted? Pls let me know

[@ibethwilke]

Better help ad, that’s so bad. Why??? You have plenty of sponsors

[@ForForFro]

I was coming down her to say this! Sierra you are better than this qeeen!

[@jaymap121]

Right?! Ergh.

[@cianastephen]

Better help has been extremely positive for me. Someone who is a student and can’t afford a lot I found the perfect therapist for me. It’s not negative for everyone. Sometimes it’s people’s only access to help

[@ibethwilke]

@@cianastephen well in glad it was good for you because it is awful for most If US

[@jalapeno1119]

​@@cianastephenYou're right in that sometimes it's the only option for people. I wish it wasn't.

[@madelinekramp8554]

Not the better help sponser…

[@kellykim4515]

That’s a no with the BH sponsorship especially with the controversy surrounding BH

[@savannahblanch1991]

it’s so easy to look into. I guess the check is big enough to not care

[@ForForFro]

I was coming down her to say this! Sierra you are better than this qeeen!

[@ren16782]

Hot take!: using your kids for content is exploitation

[@acorbey]

Is this a dig at sierra? I agree with this with family channels etc but sierra never makes the focus of her vlogs about her kids

[@striketochill]

@@acorbey Is this a serious comment? lmao

[@acorbey]

@@striketochill yes? You’re welcome to have your own opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@luckylily1]

​@@striketochillain't no way lol

[@baileyhatfield6045]

@@acorbeyI love sierra and her channel but objectively she includes her children in every single vlog she posts! Not hating because I personally love it as a sahm, watching another moms days! But she definitely puts her kids in every video and all the videos are surrounded by that! :)

[@taylorcarmen5336]

Following up on the vaccination point as a lifelong disabled person. Vaccines do not cause autism in any way shape or form but even if they did you should want an autistic child over a dead one

[@westinhesse4245]

Beautifully said ❤

[@jasminelambert3753]

I’m disappointed in the BH ad, as are so many others. They have been investigated and proven to be a horrible and exploitative company for both their users and their therapists

[@morganhutchins4848]

Hi there Collective! I feel moved to chime in here because I have historically really loved this channel and all of its voices. First, I want to say I do not condone any of the comments that are mom shaming or being judgmental of your parenting decisions. However, as a childfree viewer I’m beginning to feel that this channel is no longer the place for me. I recognize that there are other videos and that a lot of moms really connect with these types of videos, but it’s starting to feel exclusionary especially with your take on opinions of people without children. Others in the comments have articulated that point better than I can so I will leave it at that. For my not so grand finale, as many others, I am very disappointed in the Better Help sponsorship. I’m sure it is true that it has helped many people but it has also hurt a lot of people in more ways than one and it’s pretty shocking, especially coming from someone like Sierra who usually does a really thorough job with research before accepting sponsorships or promoting any brands. With so many comments pointing these issues out I am really hoping to see some form of response from the collective. I will be really interested to see how this is handled and the direction of the channel moving forward.

[@isabelledestefano7407]

taking a better help sponsorship is insane. so out of touch and so damaging

[@mathquintogrado4554]

Not the better help sponsorship…. do you even care at this point?

[@darthsquiddy]

Sierra, I respect you so much. I’ve been a on and off viewer of yours since 2018, I cannot even begin to describe the amount in which my jaw dropped when it cut to a better help ad… they have been sued notoriously for leaking their patients private information to data brokers, it’s one easy Google search and you can see how controversial they are. I can’t even begin to explain the disappointment I had seeing you accept that. I understand you have bills to pay, we all do, but* your morals should not be at stake because of that.

[@aimteryx]

Agreed. It’s very well known at this point..

[@marysabelquintanilla3465]

Omg I was coming on here to say this but you said it way better!

[@elizabethmcbride1711]

therapist here and I can say that betterhelp is a tech company first and foremost and exploit their therapists and patients. they have been sued multiple times by the ftc for selling pt's data! for breaking hipaa! things that I and other mental health professionals would lose their licenses over (as we should). and they get away with it because there's no proper legislation and policy about tech therapy spaces.

[@Sophiswise]

Absolutely. literally came here to say this....

[@seesavannahsshenanigans]

Yupp I put a comment with the link to the ftc website case on one of the bh disapproval comments and they deleted it 😞

[@rachelm7592]

Pretty disappointing to see betterhelp as a sponsor.

[@samanthaabreu782]

You don't have to be a parent to have valid opinions about parenting, because you are a son or a daughter to begin with and as an adult you know how much your parents parenting helped or hurt you. It's easy to say, oh you don't have a child so you don't know, but sometimes is, yes, but I go to therapy for the exact same thing you are doing to your child right now. And I've met a lot of people telling me, you dont have kids so dont tell me how to be a parent, but at the end of the day, I have to deal with your kid, so, I think yes I can have an opinion and a valid opinion, that's called living in a society.

[@Janiz1998]

Yeah I heard what Rachel said and thought "RIP all the childless nannies and teachers". LOL

[@allisong2729]

You can have an opinion but it doesn't make it fact or valid. Only that child's parent knows what's best (in a healthy relationship)

[@ebonidt]

I think the issue arises when the opinion is presented as unsolicited advice or as a way of criticizing and belittling parents. I had a acquaintance chew me out for grabbing lunch in public with my 2 month old twins in between their doctor's visit and my postpartum follow up. I was being selfish when I could have went through a drive thru with my kids. I went to a mostly unoccupied restaurant with 3 other customers after leaving a packed doctor's that also had an urgent care, but the restaurant was the venue endangering their health. The unsolicited advice made me feel selfish, like I was a bad mom, and that every I did from then on was under scrutiny. That acquaintance had no experience working with kids and was childless, so when I reflect on things it's like her perspective came from a place of judgement and not support.

[@Brittanybavery]

You can have an opinion but opinions aren’t always valid. Emotions you have around them are valid, but it doesn’t make your opinion “right.” It’s also sometimes hard to take advice from someone who doesn’t have the lived experience, even if they are the most educated on the topic. It’s helpful to have someone who can really empathize with the dichotomy and pros/cons that you’re facing in making certain decisions.

[@Amanduhhpanduh]

I think their point was, you will never fully understand the process of parenting and how those decisions are made unless you are actually a parent yourself. As Kenzie, said of course there are opinions you can have that make sense even without children, but it’s not really valid in the experience of parenting itself.

[@kaitlynnogueira]

not every pediatrician, child psychologists, nannies, teachers, etc have kids, yet they are still qualified to have an opinion. probably better than other parents…

[@deeznuts218]

Do you have children

[@emilyfeldman8788]

agree

[@mandyboggs8086]

absolutely. I am surprised they made that comment. I have had a few education classes in college. I do not have a child but I was shadowing a teacher. Plenty of parents go to teachers for advise. They not only manage one kid but twenty kids at a time. I truly believe that some teachers are amazing parents. I have also had teachers who can not have kids that really do love their classroom like they are their own.

[@emilyfeldman8788]

@@mandyboggs8086 exactly! as someone training in pediatric psychology (in my third year of a phd program, and i did 2 years of a masters before this) with multiple research papers, 20+ research presentations, over a hundred hours of direct clinical* experience (i will have 500 by next year, probably another 300 by the time I go on internship, 500 hours during internship, and 1,500 hours after i graduate before i can even be licensed as a psychologist), and innumerable hours of trainings/time spent researching best practices. I feel that even without children, I will be qualified to support parents/families with health and behavior concerns haha. and no i won't be recommending supplements for your kid's behavior (a la mlm bs), fear mongering about food, or dissuading parents from "sleep training." *this is time actually spent with clients. the requirements are much higher if you include non-patient facing hours.

[@car17yn71]

I don't think you have to be a parent to have valid opinions on parenting. 1. Child care employees are often with children more than their own parents. We used to have some kids 5 days a week from 5:30am to 6pm. 2. Some people with no kids have actually helped raise kids. I helped raise 2 kids. If you ask the 22 year old, she will tell you that WE (my sister and I) raised her and not her parents and grandparents ... and we did a darn good job - high school salutatorian, graduated college summa cum laude, and she is now a nurse and a momma herself.

[@chelsearusso8560]

Meh. Would have been better with people who actually have their own different opinions than agreeing on everything.

[@avahauge9552]

right? huge echo chamber here. not a very productive conversation.

[@courtneygerhart9509]

Hi ladies! As a pediatric physical therapist and as a mama myself, I just wanted to kindly educate you all as well as others in the comments regarding milestones and the CDC. So, a few years back after COVID, the CDC changes all milestone timelines and even removed some critical milestones such as crawling (INSANE) and they DID NOT consult physical, occupational or speech therapists AT ALL in their decision making despite us getting doctorate degrees in these professions. For example independent sitting was pushed from 6 months to 9 months and like I mentioned, crawling was removed. They also pushed independent walking to 18 months. I think Sierra mentioned the CDC milestones are a great way for kids to get services. But actually, the recent update to these milestones for gross, fine and oral motor skills decreases the opportunity for children to receive early intervention. Now, when parents go to pediatrician and say their child isn’t sitting by 6 months (typically expected by 6-7 months), the pediatrician will say this is fine, the CDC doesn’t expect sitting until 9 months (this is SUPER late as crawling is expected around this time). Or I’ve had patients who have funny crawling patterns or don’t crawl at all and pediatricians don’t take concern since it was removed. This was also so insurances don’t have to pay for children to get PT, OT or Speech. The longer we push out milestones despite them being incorrect from a developmental clinical standpoint, the longer we can deny children services. Many insurances are now paying all time lows to clinic for reimbursement and prevent children from getting therapies together (same day)….its truly sad. Also, there should be no shame or anxiety in making sure our babies hit their milestones roughly on time. While yes it is partly true that babies will develop at different rates this is also partially untrue as there is a bell curve of early, on time and delayed. I expect crawling anywhere from 7-10 months or 9 on average for example. But if we are 10 months and barely sitting on our own, that’s a problem and a red flag that we need help because there may be underlying tension or weakness in the body. And that first year is so important! As a trained clinician, I can tell when an older kid didn’t crawl. I can tell when they had an undiagnosed and untreated tongue/lip tie. I can tell when they spent excess time in containers like walkers and jumpers. As moms, we have to be okay with admitting we aren’t experts in all fields and be okay learning from experts in each field without the stigma of it meaning it’s a reflection on our parenting because it’s not! If your child isn’t hitting their milestones relatively on time, getting a referral and early intervention is KEY and should not be shameful ❤

[@gabriellegeorge2648]

This is a very insightful and well-written comment! You seem very compassionate and attentive in your profession.

[@tracymeserve5627]

Thanks for this detailed response! Follow-up question: some babies skip crawling and move immediately to walking--at what point what that milestone then be expected?

[@Kitkat-fm5tu]

Accepting a sponsorship from BetterHelp is certainly a hot take. Disappointed in you guys for this. One second of research about this company would show how problematic they are and how much harm they've done.

[@jenjram]

Sierra, shame on you. You have so many avenues for income! As an advocate for mental health, I know that you have to know the reputation that BH has and that so many have documented that with evidence based proof. Really, do better. Think about all those new moms who are depending on your advice.

[@savannahblanch1991]

literally this. She doesn’t need to be taking the scummiest sponsorship. The better help issues have been known for years. You have a responsibility to your audience not to give platforms to harmful companies

[@savannahblanch1991]

I feel like this is just reaction to ragebait takes. Who thinks hitting children or only breastfeeding until you’re comfortable= selfish? hot take would be that showing your children online is exploitive

[@rachelm7592]

Oooo that would have been a good one! No way Sierra would take that one.

[@cc1526]

Seems like they only selected ones where they all agreed which literally defeats the purpose :/ That whole “showing your kids how people can have respectful arguments/disagreements” thing would’ve been really interesting to actually watch in real time in this video if they had chosen a take they weren’t all in agreement with.

[@alisha1377]

I agree, these were are all on the same page…

[@graceraven3423]

I live in Florida which is essentially the Deep south, lots of people still hit their children and justify it as being fine. Also there is a lot of pressure to breastfeed from many circles maybe you're just not familiar with them.

[@MissKathyG]

Glad to see the comments focus on the disappointment of the BH sponsor. I’d hope to see it not apart of the future videos. On the non parent parenting opinions is valid… therapist, pediatricians, teachers.. Some don’t have kids but they do have great advice sometimes. Sometime parents have hot takes and I’m like “Ohh hmm okay.” Like the “stopping breastfeeding is selfish” “hot take”

[@acorbey]

I never heard about the better help issues before these comments so I would hope they hadn’t either and will not work with them again

[@Suemesushi]

I hate when hot takes aren't hot takes like the "you don't have to havw expensive products to be a good mom" who is contesting that?!

[@averytroester7364]

fr fr. i’m not very far in but i wonder if the girls will offer any controversial opinions or if they only picked softball hot takes that they could cleanly agree/disagree with without any controversy

[@faithfisher5125]

not every take submitted is going to be "hot", but I've seen plenty of people who think expensive products *are* very necessary in order to be a good parent.

[@clairejoyce86]

They have nannies who are not parents...but i guess that ok! Whilst i understand its not the same when its your own there are alot of ppl who take care of kids who dont have kids, professional people like doctors, teacher's etc

[@Salty-lady-cakes]

@@clairejoyce86 I just came here to say this. It’s so out of touch to be so adamant about people without children not having valid opinions on parenting, but they hire private childless nanny’s to come into their homes to watch their kids.

[@missmoviebuff19]

I helped raised my nephews and niece so yeah I can have valid opinions on parenting. There are tons of people who have raised kids and not given birth to children so it’s kinda ignorant to assume child free people can’t have valid parenting opinions

[@mushirahabib442]

Nooo! Why do betterhelp sponsorship? 😢

[@AllisonMarieMarshall]

As a kindergarten/elementary teacher without children, I think that I have an opinion on parenting that’s quite valid. We deal with parents and children that I somehow feel like a counselor haha Also I teach lots of only children and how they interact with others and how the children with siblings interact show a pretty big difference in sharing, and being around other children. It might be skewed due to these children being raised during covid forcing them to be more isolated.

[@alisha1377]

I was a teacher as well, but it does feel different when it’s your own child. I still believe that people without kids can give wonderful advice and encouragement.

[@acorbey]

Yes I think their view was very narrow minded and thinking of only people with no experience with children at all (who still can have a valid opinion anyway)

[@jillisenberg9704]

Love this style of video, but just some food for thought … there is not much diversity in this group of parenting in terms of kid age as well as parent race, SES, religion, politics, sexual orientation, etc. This lack of diversity makes the opinions pretty same-same. Might be more of an interesting discussion if there was more diversity in the panelists.

[@jesikafonseca6376]

I agree. From what I gather two of them come from a high middle class and from what I heard all their parents are still together as well. I think they should have done this with so much more diversity to really understand others who didn’t have what they had as kids or come from different backgrounds in all aspects. This video gave me a white privileged vibes. Also there all stay at home moms which is awesome but my mom worked three jobs with my older sister and was financially stable when she had me so I was raised and lived a different life than my other two older sisters.

[@RebaValentine]

Better help? Disappointing.

[@oryx6247]

you all would do well with educating yourselves and venturing beyond your bubble

[@avahauge9552]

for real man. not a very productive conversation when they all agree on everything.

[@shutupdori4206]

I can’t believe you would do a better help sponsorship. Unfortunately had to turn off after that.

[@madalynequi1120]

Hi! I’ve been a longtime viewer, and I have to say I am very disappointed in this video. Especially on the hot take that people who are not parents cannot give valid advice on parenting. I am a teacher who works with a VERY diverse population of students, I’ve seen it all. I love those kids so much, and I try my best to see growth from all of them, regardless of how much I have to put into them. I do not offer unsolicited advice, but I have gone through many years of study and have multiple degrees and certifications that were all focused on research based practices surrounding child development. If a parent is struggling with something regarding their child, I have been trained and am qualified to offer research based advice about working with children. I understand that no person knows a child better than their parent, but those who have been trained to work with children or who have worked with children for years may have a valid opinion to offer, so be open to the opinions of trained professionals. It takes a village to raise a child, and fortunately, our society provides trained individuals to help you when you are struggling or have questions that you can’t figure out the answers to.

[@melanieberreth3312]

Some of us raised & parented our siblings from a young age. Some of us weren’t parented by our parents (because our parents weren’t parented) - and had to learn parenting/how to parent ourselves as adults. There are people out there without kids who do have valid opinions on parenting. While I respect your opinions, I think it comes from a place of privilege. Love the channel & your courage to take on these kinds of topics. 🫶🏻

[@demiharper9817]

I think your opinion is valid and made me think back on my own, however - kind of like Rachel said.. Almost all of my strong opinions prior to having a child have changed since having my own. You don’t know how you will parent, until you’re actively parenting.

[@Brittanybavery]

I wanted to offer a counter perspective if you’re open to hearing, but please refrain from reading if that doesn’t feel like a comfortable option for you, as a sense this may be a sensitive topic for you (it is for me and others as well!). Parenting advice that stems from trauma tends to be a fear-based response that counters the trauma experienced. Obviously we all know not to abuse our children, but it’s common for people who experienced trauma at a young age to see things very polarized and have an all or nothing mentality around parenting. This mentality can lead to a lot of guilt and shame when these folks become parents and find themselves at times relating to their abusive parents, because even if in actuality they were displaying a 1% characteristic of the parent, it can feel like 100% to someone with trauma. I say this a mom who grew up in physically, emotionally and sexually abusive home who had to do extensive therapy to learn to not use my mothering as a way to cope with my trauma. I was extremely hard on myself about being a perfect mother I had planned on being before I had kids, that I had a hard time accepting the mother I really was (who is still a great mom!). Not sure if this made sense, but sharing to offer that how we plan to parent isn’t necessarily coming from a healed and healthy perspective.

[@Dmimima]

Absolutely hate the take that people can’t have an opinion on parenting until they have their own. I was parentified as a child. My mother was a single mother and I did a LOT of caregiving as a teenager. We aren’t talking about babysitting on a Saturday night. I helped potty train, I took her to dance lesson, I tucked her in for naps etc. I find it really irritating when people think that because I didn’t birth a child that I can’t have an opinion on it. I think too many people have children with extremely idealistic ideas because they never interacted with children in a significant way before having them. For those of us that did, I think it actually makes us hesitant to have children because we understand how much work goes into it. Also, from a medical standpoint, it’s dangerous. Mom (or dad) doesn’t always know best. Someone who is a medically trained professional has better insight to what could be a helpful medical intervention than you may have as a mother. Lastly, many many teachers, doctors, nurses, nannies aren’t parents themselves but are extremely better with children than actual parents themselves.

[@boringreviewvideos315]

@@Dmimima You can have an opinion on child-rearing as a non-parent, sure, but don't be surprised and/or offended if parents are uninterested in your advice or opinions. I listen to the advice of trained professionals and fellow parents only; it's just as valid for me to not want to hear your advice as it for you to have an opinion.

[@Dmimima]

@@boringreviewvideos315 personally none of my friends have children. I live in a very metropolitan city where it’s not uncommon for people to wait until they are in their mid-30’s to even early 40’s to have children. Therefore, my need to give my opinion or advice on parenting is extremely limited. However, I think there is a sense of superiority from parents which can lead to missing out on helpful information from others (like teachers or doctors or psychologists) just because they didn’t birth a child. It’s giving JD Vance saying that teachers shouldn’t be educators if they don’t have children themselves. That take is wild. Personally, I think the advice from a well-seasoned adult who has lots of experience with children is far more valuable than someone who is a bad, lazy or irresponsible but happens to actually have children.

[@jenlyon4774]

BetterHelp?? Seriously?

[@alecw3874]

I want to agree with everything because I love all of you so much, but I really don’t. I grew up in a completely different culture. I know that friends are going to feel similarly, but it would be nice to hear differing opinions and perspectives.

[@acorbey]

That’s what the comment section is for! What do you disagree with? I agreed with most but definitely not with the part about non parents having opinions

[@mrs.e3909]

Discipline can be teaching, setting boundaries, talking about rules, setting routines, guiding, modeling expectations, manners, or situational actions, redirecting and many other ways of walking through life with a child. I think "parenting" is a personal, private relationship with our child and no one else needs to be in that relationship except two parents and the child

[@rachmarie55]

As someone who works with abused children I can confidently say that not all parents are “doing the best they can.” I really hate when I hear people say that. I agree that a lot of parents are probably doing the best they can, but I wouldn’t even say most parents are doing the best they can because it’s just not true and it’s really sad. I think so many people idealize having children and just don’t think about how hard it is, which is incredibly selfish. But I think you 3 are probably really great parents 😊

[@rchlhcr]

But even those parents are doing the best they can with what abilities and limitations they have. It doesn't mean they're doing a good job of course, but what those people need is support and restoration, not shame.

[@Emily_Rose47]

Long time viewer and love this video and recent content. However, I am deeply disappointed by the Better Help sponsorship. I would expect that better research would be done before becoming involved with and supporting brands, especially when it involves something as sensitive as mental health. Please do better on topics like this for your community and do not take money from horrible and unethical brands.

[@jaymap121]

Totally agree. Not only taking money but also promoting it to thousands of viewers. It's not only a bad company but really harmful.

[@lalakass9041]

Sierra I hope you listen to your viewers and don’t take another sponsorship from better help.

[@abigailhoughton3814]

I love this video style, but this video concept was a hard one for me. I would have loved to hear some differing opinions or more open minded conversation from other parents or non parents. I work with children on a daily basis, so while I am not a parent, I do learn a lot of techniques and "do's/don'ts" that I want to take with me when I do become one.

[@pooja1994-j7k]

Highly disappointed with the choice of sponsorship!!! Get that coin but I miss when you had morals, Sierra.

[@jaymap121]

This.

[@melodycollins2903]

See the thing is I’ve worked with kids and been around kids for over 10 years of my life and currently as a daycare employee who is around kids all the time I have my parents that genuinely thank me for parenting advice to help their kids and it helps them succeed throughout their day- and IM NOT A PARENT 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@PaytonTaylor02]

Better help ad hurts on a video primarily geared towards moms :(

[@lisas.2902]

I do not like the take „you have to experience something for yourself“, because that’s not true. I’ve worked and helped addicted people for years as a social worker. And now I’m working with kids and families and I can do that very well too, not because I have children, but because I’ve learned my job and take it very seriousl. You say please respect doctors, I think that should go for other professions as well. And by the way, what’s being a parent anyway? Where does it begin or end? Are you only a parent if you have a biological child? No, you can also adopt? What about all the people with foster children?

[@jalapeno1119]

Disappointed in the Better Health sponsorship.

[@annawebster9881]

Honestly curious just cause I’m out of the loop I guess - what’s wrong with the better help sponsorship?

[@blaah9999]

Dangit. I just clicked OFF a video for BH sponsorship

[@pineapplepapercrafts]

Some people actually have used better help, and it's helped them. So i don't know the issues. 🤷‍♀️

[@smolexfundie6458]

@@pineapplepapercraftsthe issues i’ve heard about is that they’ve allowed unqualified therapists to join, and they severely underpay the therapists.

[@abbiejohnson5223]

Better Help was my gateway into therapy. No shame

[@rubeusswagrid6039]

Betterhelp though? Like I get it, but no.

[@hannahmckenzie]

Definitely enjoyed the candid-ness and authenticity and the long form content! Would love more videos like this! Echoing the sentiment that bh isn’t great but always a good opportunity to learn

[@r_27P]

I don't need to have a broken arm to be empathetic with someone who does. So yes Anyone can have a valid opinion about parenting. we were all kids once and most of us remember what things made us sad or stuck with us forever. There's also the way you express this type of opinions. There are a LOT of people who deal with children everyday without having their own. The hot take that you can't even comment on children because you're not a parent sounds extremely immature, clique like and excluding.

[@kropka8259]

No one said you cannot comment, have your opinion, but you will never really know, so your opinion is not based on experience. And you do not need to live with the consequences, so it is kinda less important. You have to know your place when it comes to someone elses children.

[@r_27P]

@@kropka8259 EVERYONE needs to know their place when it comes to SOMEBODY else’s children, not just childfree people!

[@demiharper9817]

@@r_27P I’m open to hearing people without kids give their opinion, advice, suggestions - I’ve never turned my nose up to it. However, I think of it like this… If you hear of a rain storm coming, who are you going to listen to? The weather person on the screen giving the forecast, or the person standing in the storm? Both have valid information, but different takes based on their perspective/privilege, etc.

[@kaleighwilson]

Honestly, they probably didn't put all that thought into it before answering. I bet if someone was there to say what you just did, they might actually agree with you.

[@JordanHeil-jp9wu]

I feel like the "if you're not a parent, dont comment on what i do with my kids" had an * by it of "if you havent raised a child". Im 23, no kids, but almost entirely alone raised my nephew and little sister from newborn and 4 months to roughly 3 and 7. I know a lot more than most people expect, and when im allowed to actually just help instead of being told i don't know what I'm doing, 9/10 times, the parent(s) thank me and tell me they will be using the tricks i know again. I dont think that any of these ladies wanted to upset the people who know kids, they were more talking about the people who have know clue what its actually like to take care of children but yet love to spout their bs about how this or that is better or wrong.

[@acorbey]

If you raised your nephew and sister then you have kids. They never said bio kids

[@lowkeylola88]

the better help sponsorship is a red flag girl, come on now...

[@allisong2729]

This is the second similar comment. What's wrong with better help? ( I don't use them anyway)

[@boringreviewvideos315]

@@allisong2729 genuinely i'd recommend googling, but they have had leaks of private info + their therapists aren't actually helpful

[@thelittlronan]

@@allisong2729 They have sold private information (HIPAA) in order to advertise to you, but it's a therapy platform which is bad. Also they underpay their therapists by a lot but expect them to work so much for the mediocre pay.

[@Sophiswise]

@@allisong2729a quick google search will tell you.

[@tarynriver]

@@allisong2729they’ve had a ton of controversies with fake therapists and other issues

[@laurakoelling]

As a mother of an autistic child, the CDC milestones really mattered in getting him interventions. But I would just talk to the pediatrician about them. They have a purpose. But I agree with you that people use them to worry too much about their children’s development or to try to brag about their kid’s development. Our children are not defined by a timetable, but in my it helped define an issue as he never got the verbal skills.

[@britt905]

I think anyone who has to deal with the fallout of your parenting (I.e. teachers, daycare workers, etc.) get to have an opinion on your parenting. Teachers are having a rough go right now and I feel for them.

[@kestradarowski3439]

As someone who doesn’t swear (personal choice), and my husband is the same way, I really felt strongly not to say “these are bad words” and hide them from the words. They are words and I don’t want my kids to feel awkward when a friend says it. So we call certain words (and not just swear words) “strong words” and explain a bit the meaning behind them. I personally don’t want them to say certain words, but I don’t want them to feel weird about them.

[@ashleyann4154]

I have to say the only exception to people who aren’t parents having valid opinions on parenting are people who work with kids. I’m a teacher and you can tell how kids were raised and treated at home both by academics and behavior. Parents constantly ask me for parenting advice when I don’t have kids myself. And for the love of everything please teach your kids to be bored and not be on phones.

[@japjap_jule]

I think the only thing I disagree with is the your opinion isnt valid if youre not a parent. Im not a parent . But Ive been parented. And sometimes badly with repercussions to this day. So I can have a opinion on what not to do as a parent (what my parents did with me)

[@jasminelambert3753]

I think a lot of the avoidance of the word train comes from the association with the book To Train Up a Child which is a book that advocates for extreme sleep training and something called “blanket training” which involves inflicting physical pain onto a child who is too young to communicate because they have rolled or otherwise moved off of a very small blanket. It “trains” them to be too scared to move because they don’t want to be abused

[@ren16782]

Wow been watching for years and years and very disappointed with the better help partnership. Can’t believe you would disregard any morals for $$ at the expense of your followers ESPECIALLYin regards to mental health exploitation

[@ShaeJohnson-g3m]

Hmm, better help sponsor and telling those without kids we do not have an opinion, I’m not sure how I feel about this channel anymore. Super disappointed.

[@morganhutchins4848]

I’m with you

[@jaymap121]

Totally agree. People who don't have children... we were still children once and we can have an opinion on parenting because we were once... wait for it... parented.

[@StealingSunsets]

Your parenting opinions change (often as extreme as 180°) when you actually have a child. As much as you might feel entitled to have an opinion on parenting, it’s not actually an unreasonable requirement that you BE a parent before you judge one.

[@StealingSunsets]

@@jaymap121 I often visit zoos but that doesn’t make me a qualified zoo keeper. I fly on planes all the time but I still can’t tell a pilot how to do their job. Parenting is a 100% life altering experience. When you have a child you are changed in every single way. Chemically, physically, emotionally, lifestyle, for many women nearly every single part of you is 100% different when you have kids. You don’t even know who YOU will be, much less who your child will be and how you will react to who they are. There is a reason every single parent admits this: “before parenting I said I would never xyz, but here we are”. So whether it offends yall are not, your opinions on parenting are not worth anything until you can actually grasp the sacrifices and hardships of BEING a parent.

[@PresleyNicole66]

My parents never spanked either my brother or I. Because they didn’t want us growing up thinking that it was okay for someone who loves us to hit us.

[@PresleyNicole66]

@@wlsncthrn just because they didn’t spank us didn’t mean they didn’t discipline us. You don’t have to hit people to get them to do what you want or to behave a certain way.

[@PresleyNicole66]

@@wlsncthrn dangerous? So hitting prevents “dangerous behavior”? Spanking is literally hitting? That’s like saying that slapping someone isn’t hitting. The intent is to hurt the child to get them to do what you want.

[@HeyItsDariann]

came right to the comments as soon as the BH sponsor was revealed. glad everyone else is feeling the same disappointment.

[@boringreviewvideos315]

it's wild that calling out abuse as abusive is considered a hot take

[@SmileySynne]

I Know, right?! I live in Norway, and corporal punishment towards kids has been illegal since 1972... ❤

[@victoriamontoya8569]

I’m a new mom as of 3 weeks ago and I loved watching this and hearing your opinions. It’s so intimidating being a new mom with everyone’s intense opinions and it’s so nice to hear all of your opinions in such a kind way. I wish everyone spoke about parenting like this. Love your channel! ❤

[@KarolinaHolst]

The fact that spanking is still a debate and that some people still think it’s a good idea is baffling to me. Hopefully more parents are doing the same kind of reasoning you all are! Sincerely, mom from a country where spanking has been illegal for 50 years.

[@blaah9999]

In US - hospital coworker was boasting about spanking her kid.

[@averym7068]

I deeply respect you all and have watched this channel for a long time now, which is why it is extremely frustrating to see you take a better help sponsorship. I understand if the issues with them were not known to you, but there needs to be accountability taken for supporting a business who sells patients private information, underpays their therapists and hires unqualified people who pose as therapists and give bad advice to people in need. I realize that this was a mistake, and I urge you to make a video apologizing, stop working with them in the future, and to do better research on the brands who want to sponsor you. All the love ❤️

[@jennamillerhernandez8304]

Better help was horrible for me. My therapist ate lunch when I had eating disorder related issues to discuss. Kind of weird

[@Amanduhhpanduh]

What I love about this is that although I might not share the same opinion on certain topics, I learned a lot about each of your perspectives.

[@marieguagliardo4936]

This would have been better if instead of 3 people who mainly agree with one another have a discussion with someone who doesn’t see parenting the same way. This was all one sided and felt close minded to parents who don’t see it the same way you do.

[@trichardson6824]

I agree with the comment with the comment “people who aren’t parents can have valid opinions on parenting”. If someone has pretty much grown up looking after children, tending to their needs then I think that they can too have valid points. Some parents have never even looked after a baby before their own, and they know less than someone who has spent nearly their whole looking after kids

[@Chey521]

First, I’ve LOVED this channel for years. But…this video didn’t hit. I don’t have kids right now; but I always consume the kid/parenting content, because it’s fun and easy to consume content in some way. But goodness. This was very boring. I think it’s the first video I couldn’t stand to watch. Also, you guys pay attention. You know your audience. These weren’t “hot takes”. Feels like clickbait.

[@ANA_youre_enough]

Yes they are hot takes 😂 I’d love to hear what you consider a hot take if these aren’t

[@Diademischief]

Related to the unconditional love of children. Something I would encourage younger women to make sure they ask of partners is why they want kids if they want them. I met so many men in my early 20s who openly admitted to wanting kids as a legacy to pass on some idealized version of themselves. DON'T HAVE CHILDREN WITH THESE MEN. They don't actually want kids and this is one major way you end up with unequal domestic labor. You can keep asking questions and it'll become pretty obvious there would never be unconditional love. Just a piece of advice. Idk if er vet this enough sometimes as cis women who want families and understand the real responsibility associated.

[@candy-ow1rz]

This is so funny! I had the same experience. I was shocked by the amount of men who said they wanted to pass on the family name as their main reason for having a child... what 🤯

[@karolinawogurkova3635]

I would have appreciated if you briefly explained some of the things you were talking about (sleep training, CDC...) - I really enjoy your content but I don't have any kids and lack the context on this. Fun video nevertheless 💛

[@brittanyp9334]

🔥🔥🔥 While I know this comment section is VERY heated, I really hope this doesn't deter y'all from talking about these topics again, talking about parenting, discussing hot takes and having an opinion, or just posting in general. But I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable anymore. The internet is such a weird place. One day you love someone, and the next they make one small mistake and everyone blows it up. Do I agree with all of your opinions? No. Do I agree with Better Help? No. But I can still respect, appreciate, and continue watching y'all. No one is perfect. I would appreciate a video addressing the issues at play, as I am not on any other platform, but I TOTALLY understand if y'all are scared to say the wrong thing and get dragged through the mud. I wouldn't blame you if you read the comments, reflected, and just went on your merry way and kept posting like normal without addressing anything.

[@flor6392]

I definitely over entertained my baby due to healing my inner childhood. I always want my baby to feel seen ,heard and loved

[@mistymetz100]

Me sitting here watching wishing I had mom friends when I first had my daughter to help me the way Rachel's getting all this good advice! 🔥🔥🔥 Nobody really talks about being the only mom when your friends don't have kids. Soo many moments I wanted to go out but couldn't or tried and had to cancel. It did put tension between us at times. I wouldnt trade it for anything!❤

[@jessicajaso4639]

I have to disagree with the idea that anyone who isn’t a parent can’t have valid or important opinions on parenting. I’ve worked with kids for over a decade and want kids of my own. I’ve formed so many of my opinions from all of the time I’ve spent with children over the years. I’m wondering if perhaps these opinions are coming from the perspective of people who haven’t had much experience with kids prior to having children. I worked with kids with moderate-severe special needs and when I know so much now about motivations and how to deescalate stressful situations for kids. I get that I’m not with the kids 24/7 but when I worked at a school, a lot of the time the kids were with me more than they were with their parents during the week. Early drop off and late pick up meant I was the primary caretaker for these kids. Teaching boundaries, respect, self care, friendship, etc. they learned that from me because I have strong opinions on how children should be raised and parented. Not because I was “just” a good teacher. Good teachers are excellent parents regardless of whether or not they end up having children of their own. I think a lot of my opinion on this also comes from the fact I was parentified as a kid. I was actively caring for my younger siblings from the time I was 8 onwards especially while they were little. I also think that being a parent extends past having biological children or children that you raise in your own home. I was a nanny for three years and when I stopped working with my little friend I genuinely cried for years. It felt like I’d lost my baby. I told my friend that it felt like my baby was out there without me and if she needed me I couldn’t be there for her. It was heartbreaking. (She had a complicated family life, mom wasn’t present, raised by extended family- so I was largely filling that roll even tho she had loving extended family). But that being said, I felt like she was one of my kids. I’ve had that feeling for so long for her and for other children. And I love them dearly and they’ll always be one of my kids. One of the kids I GOT to parent and love and teach how to be a loving kind human. I was a kind of parent for a short time in these kids lives. Just because I wasn’t THEIR parent doesn’t mean they weren’t one of my kids ❤ (Hope this doesn’t sound creepy and possessive?? I just don’t have great language other than my/mine- I don’t feel like I own them or they belong to me, just that I got the chance to love them and parent them in some way)

[@elladowning9352]

love this style of video so much! helps me miss the podcast a little less🥲

[@erogers2687]

Kenzie is so well spoken

[@erinstevens4351]

Literally never been this early, but thank you guys for sharing what you have regarding pregnancy and parenting. As someone who is currently pregnant with their first, I love listening to all of the different perspectives and experiences. ❤

[@anicesunset2022]

People without children can have opinions on parenting merely because they themselves were likely parented.

[@hannah-mary]

This video was not it :( so judgy

[@walliss09]

You should consider that it's judgy of you to judge their opinions. Lol. It's their individual opinions. Everyone has one, and it's perfectly okay. If you're a parent and you feel differently, your opinion is your own, and you can parent your children the way you choose. Parenting and kids is a controversial topic on any platform. This is their channel and they can choose to post whatever they believe in. I'm not meaning this to be offensive. I'm just pointing out that this comment, among others, is not constructive. If you don't agree, explain what it is that you don't agree with in a logical and open-minded point of view.

[@hannah-mary]

@@walliss09 Hey, you actually have a great point. I definitely could have gone more in-depth. Sometimes I feel that people aren’t really allowed to have different opinions - that’s what I felt like this video was portraying. They were stating their opinions in such a way that seemed to say that anyone who believed otherwise was a horrible person. I have the opposite view on almost every one of their topics, which is totally fine, but their video made me feel like they would hate me for that. I unsubscribed after this and I’ve been a fan for like 5 years. Thanks for your reply, I get what you are saying.

[@ShaeJohnson-g3m]

I feel the need to express how left out I feel, I have watched Sierra since I was 17, in 2018. I loved the content, now I feel like this has become “woke” and shaming any ideas that don’t align with yours. I am child free and a size small, but always loved the content for the honesty and realness. No other reason, I never had a lot in common with Sierra. But I loved who I thought she was, honest and a real person to watch. But I think this is my last time watching her videos. I can’t get behind the judgment for a Channel that preaches other wise, and a Channel that she is open about her mental health and supports and takes sponsors for a company like better health. I’m sorry but as a 7 year viewer, I’m unsubscribing.

[@selena5522]

Oh yes, this channel is extremely woke haha. I barely watch anymore but I am also a long time subscriber and it’s sad to see the product of what happens when you hang out with people that share the same opinions. It’s not surprising though, I grew up in california and a lot of the people I grew up with are like this. Once I left california and met people with differing opinions and experienced life outside of california, a lot of my opinions changed. People like this aren’t usually open to hearing other people’s perspectives.

[@saraaye8856]

My hot take is the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby is deleting social media. I promise nothing that comes up on tik tok will help more than the comparison and over cunsumption harms you. If you need information you should seek it out from professionals not an influencer who claims they no everything

[@siaaniboo]

i’ve been a loyal subscriber for like 6-7 years now.. and this video kindaaaaa has me looking at them a lil differently. 🙃

[@AmyBC123]

Re: “stopping breastfeeding early is selfish” I stopped bf selfishly and proudly and I don’t think it has to be a negative thing. Self care for new moms is something we can reframe and reclaim. It was the best thing for me, my baby’s health, our relationship, and her relationship with other caretakers.

[@astormofsalsa]

I'm exclusively pumping while watching! Been going strong for almost 9 months 💪

[@jollylittlefox7449]

it’s important for kids to learn and understand the word no to help them understand boundaries. It’s an important concept that children learn to understand when someone is saying no and it’s serious as well as understanding when they may have to say the word no themselves to others.

[@ceciliamiy4764]

Well I am a very pressent aunt, my sister moved with me when she had her baby. And 7 years later she still ask my opinion on many things ❤ and my nephew spends three days a week with me. I also have other nieces and necesito, godsons and their moms always ask me what I think about a lot of things ❤ and I love that they validatte my takes ❤

[@Murburns]

So interesting to hear Rachel's standpoint and experience with swearing as a child. Appreciate the input!

[@madisonh.9921]

How is it insane to say that stopping breastfeeding before the baby is ready is selfish?! I mean, it's one thing if the mom is incapable of producing or has some sort of condition that prevents her from breastfeeding. But to stop breastfeeding before the 12 month mark simply because "it's hard" or "my body isn't my own" is a 100% selfish decision. It IS selfish, because you are prioritizing your own wants/desires over the nutritional benefits for your baby. Yes, formula will do and its an amazing alternatives for moms who cant produce, but we all acknowledge that breastmilk is substantially healthier for a baby. The argument shouldn't even be "is it selfish", it should just be "can you justify this selfishness?" Because yes, it is selfish. but how selfish and how justifiable? thats the question and i think it varies widely among women. but "my body doesnt feel like my own" may be one of the weakest justifications ive ever heard...

[@americafarias6448]

I’m loving the longer videos!

[@kathrynahdunko]

Loved this! Felt so validated and also learnt so much ❤ 🔥🔥🔥

[@AndreaRThurlow]

I think when people say screen time they’re mostly thinking about iPads and just letting your kids sit on an iPad playing games. I recommend reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. I am a teacher and a see a huge difference in the kids who were “raised by” an iPad and the kids who weren’t.

[@alecw3874]

What a blessing that you all think the same way and live in California....

[@Jo-vu1me]

What do you mean? Lol

[@annabelledaniel2561]

As a nanny, I have a little bit more of a strict view of screen time. I think in moderation it’s totally fine but I think it’s really important to not give them unrestricted access and I would argue no personal iPad/other device until they are teens. As a caregiver, it makes our jobs so much harder if they’re screen addicted. I have interacted with kids who have no screens, limited screens, and pretty free range/their own iPad. Limited or no screen time in my experience is best, it is just better for their development. Also, as a gen z adult I wish my parents regulated screen time more when I was a kid! In terms of content ESPECIALLY. In the early 2000s iPads weren’t really a thing middle class people had but like I was looking at weird shit on my iPod touch and the family computer. I wish my parents, bless their hearts, knew how to regulate that better. But hey, this is one non-parent nanny’s opinion!

[@sirsha15]

I don t have kids and I enjoyed this thorughly !! 🔥🔥🔥

[@alyssia7239]

I want to recommend the podcast Childproof to every parent out there who want to think more about their parenting (or anyone who want to think about it even if, like me, you don't have kids). Gwenna and Tori have such interesting takes on everything parenting related ! 🔥

[@justchelsea2010]

Oooo I'm so excited for this, I got my popcorn ready!