Reading My Journal From When I Had An Eat*ng Disorder.

While filming one of my "getting rid of 1/3 of my things" videos, I came across my old journal. It had an entry from over 5 years ago when I was struggling with disordered thinking and body dysmorphia (a year after I stopped acting on those thoughts).
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[@ddcjenn]

It's so brave for you to talk about this....I think so many people with disordered thoughts and eating let alone an eating disorder.. Thank you for sharing 💗

[@mallarirader5411]

Speaking of you singing down the isle, I saw it when you first posted it and absolutely loved it and watched it all the time. I can’t sing but I knew I wanted to walk down the isle to that song because of you, last year I walked down the to this song. -Mallari

[@jennathebookworm]

I can relate to this so much! Thank you for sharing. This time last year I was regularly not eating for sometimes 48 hrs at a time, several times a week. I was thin, but not thin enough for anyone to be concerned. I look back now and recognize that my thoughts and actions around food were 100% disordered, but at the time I would justify it in any way I could. I found out I was pregnant in February of this year, and it was SO hard dealing with the increased appetite and pregnancy cravings. Suddenly, I had to eat for the health of my baby. I could no longer punish myself for eating too much by starving myself for days. It was hard. Seeing my body change so quickly was hard. BUT, it helped me to face my disordered eating and to eat more intuitively. I haven't 'fasted' or punished myself for eating in almost 10 months. I still struggle with body image and dysmorphic thoughts. I don't love my body most days, but I'm working on it. If it wasn't for my baby boy I don't know if I ever would have admitted that I had a problem, or taken steps to fix it. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Not a lot of people talk about pregnancy and eating disorders, but I think disordered eating and body dysmorphia are things a lot of people struggle with during pregnancy and they deserve support!

[@ariannapflederer]

You are 100% right!!! A lot of people don’t talk about disordered thinking in general let alone during pregnancy. It’s a struggle so many people face!

[@mistysweirdlife510]

You are amazing for sharing this. ♥️ You have come so far and you should be so proud of yourself.

[@naomikroeker8653]

I think everyone’s journey with God takes time and true healing can be found just little steps every day. Excited you can look back see what God has done!

[@kriswood1256]

This has helped me feel better about my self and my Cerbel Palsy. Love you guys. Have a blessed night.

[@jibilo4]

Hi Arianna! Miss you guys! Still keeping you and your family in my prayers!! Love you guys!! 😊❤️❤️❤️

[@chaosofmommylife6348]

This was a super brave thing to do. Thanks for sharing.

[@jackiebohannon322]

What Brave Dean to do thank you for sharing that took a lot of Courage

[@jenpeltonen1716]

You are beautiful!!! You are an inspiration to so many people who do have those thoughts! I, personally, do! I am struggling hard core! Thank you for being open and honest!

[@tayylor026]

Thank you for sharing- what a brave thing to do!❤️

[@littlesawa61]

Thanks for sharing❤

[@Ninetales_1989]

keep up the good work your so much more then that keep pushing on the lord has ur back

[@beckyontour7417]

You did good with it. I so refuse to reread my diary from when I was like 16 to 19. I still have it but I know letting the thoughts out of back then, I might not cope well.

[@ariannapflederer]

Honestly I’m glad I didn’t journal back when I was acting on those thoughts. I am sure I would not have taken it near as well! It’s rough for sure!

[@tayylor026]

Thank you for sharing- what a brave thing to do!❤️