Real Talk About Open Relationships

[@darksavior1187]

The issue I find with being open is that while I agree you can have multiple loves (emotional and/or sexual) there are only so many hours in the day, and only so much of a person to go around, and so devotion and balancing partners can be an issue. That can be tough to navigate and not feel overwhelmed or neglected. So while there isn't love scarcity, there is time, attention, and resource scarcity, that's just logistics. Also, it can be difficult to feel special to someone when you are one of many.

[@shin-ishikiri-no]

Then limit the number of subsequent lovers until both partners are comfortable? Polyamory doesn't necessarily mean 5+ individuals. You set your own rules, and negotiate until the formula works. The monogamous model is just excess drama from what I've seen, but in a different form. (e.g. lying, hidden feelings, resentment, etc.) Contrary to popular belief, most monogamous couples *don't* tell their partners everything... Many risk losing their lovers if they admit to wanting relationship arrangements outside the status-quo (hence cheating). Even minor things like food habits and pet preferences are lied about in relationships to avoid conflict or losing a lover.

[@iridescentsquids]

it's not just available time. It's how much time you MAKE available, or how much time you WANT to spend on relationships. There's very often a high degree of personal preference and choice. So while it may seem tiring to you to have to make time to spend with more people you love, others may experience an embarrassment of riches and affection.

[@priscillam8903]

@@shin-ishikiri-no so monogamy is the problem now? People are the problem I have read many open relationship stories and people cheat on those too Monogamy is NOT the problem

[@shin-ishikiri-no]

@@priscillam8903 There is no "The Problem" in any of this. It's about what actually works versus what doesn't. Reread my comment. I think you missed the point.

[@priscillam8903]

@@shin-ishikiri-no The monogamous model is just excess drama from what I've seen, but in a different form. (e.g. lying, hidden feelings, resentment, etc.) go to the polyamory page in reddit and see why I highlight this I mean c'mon if we are really talking about POLYAMORY and not just sexual fling here and there then yeah we are all human More relationship = more people involved = more drama = more insecurities = more this and that HUMAN are the problem not a relationship model there is people who THRIVE in polyamorous relationship. There is people who THRIVE in monagomous relationship. There are people who lie, cheat in BOTH. There are people who didn't tought one partner could fulfill their needs and then surprise surprise they fell madly in love and since then have not look at other people since. There are people who tought one partner was enough and then...they were proved wrong. Polyamory is excess drama as it is involving more heart, more soul, more being, more connections

[@DimitriTechOfficial]

Openening up my relationship made me figure out that i didnt have a friendship with my partner. He was just using me as a trophy. Once he got me he wanted other trophies. I guilted myself because i was the one who brought up opening it. But Honestly it was just an idea and wanted to take things slow and start by sharing our love together with others first. But he wanted to just straight up do other people and hated the idea of doing stuff together. that was the first major flag i ignored.

[@aikitherese]

Where are the couples over 50? or 60? Whatever works for you, that's great. I'm curious about the statistics of long term polyamory over the course of a lifetime.

[@macbookproearly2011]

I remember watching about this on discovery health as a child back in the early 2000s...it doesn't work long-term. humans are possessive, I love how people try to use science to justify their animalistic behavior. It's hard enough to manage one partner. I remember this woman saying she only likes sex with one of her partners so the other man was just...support? it was weird. Why partition your love and attention, why not put forth to make your singular partner better? redundancies....

[@aikitherese]

Interestingly, I have a friend who is in his early 60's and he and his wife of over 30 years just added a third person to their relationship. Now, this happened organically and the person was a good friend who's husband had passed away a year or two ago. Maybe for older folks, it's possible such an arrangement might add security as one ages and an extra intimate relationship can add some stability. Not the norm, though, for sure.

[@macbookproearly2011]

I've actually seen this happen a lot, and your reply has made me think back to all the elder people I've seen shack up like that in my life. But it is very hard on someone who has been in one relationship all their adult life and have that person just disappear(pass on). It's harder for older people to readjust, I think. The stress of finances, the loss of routine, and loneliness.. Thank you for sharing this was thought provoking!

[@amjsolstice]

I've been in a three-person relationship for almost 12 years now. Raising two kids between three adults. It requires work, but... none of us can imagine a life without the others in their life. It definitely CAN work long-term... but not a lot of relationships do, full stop.

[@macbookproearly2011]

I hope it works out, I personally wouldn't do that, but I also don't think any less of people who do. If nobody is being harmed I can't hate.

[@whosscottgreen54]

Couldn't do it. Different strokes for different folks.

[@Jeffreyd337]

How's it working for you?

[@amberwilson4620]

Right?!!?? Me either!!!

[@jibsssss]

I'll stick with monogamy. Having one partner for life gives me sentimental value that one person is all I need ♥️

[@75egcg]

I just said this on another video and got so much hate for it everyone was calling me a sexist.

[@squaeman_2644]

​​@@75egcgUp is down, left is right welcome to the 2020s! Now just shut your brain off and partay!!!

[@bencastillo415]

Did it and now we’re not together anymore. Literally different strokes for different yolks.

[@alexbourlis]

No one can own a person. But you have the right to own the story you live with someone.

[@Jeffreyd337]

Big facts.

[@BERNARJE]

Speech 🎤

[@陳韻如-k2o]

Love this sayings!

[@ashley_brown6106]

It's not about ownership, it's about commitment. Let's be honest, when you're in an open relationship you're not 100% invested. It's impossible. That's why most people want it in the first place, they either have fear of commitment or they want to minimize the risk of getting hurt by detaching from their emotions, and an open relationship acts like a safety net for them in case the other person leaves -they didn't get fully invested and have other people to run to.

[@DimeFx]

@@ashley_brown6106 that's one way of seeing it. That's lack of self-awareness & unworked insecurities. But based on your take, what's "100% invested" even mean? What's commitment to you? Do you think if a Monogamous person enjoys being with their friends/family/coworkers 70% of the time & their partner 30% of the time, it takes away from 100% of their commitment? Don't we all fear rejection, being left out, or things not working out? So what if non-mono couple/thriple separates their time with fam/friends/lovers/work etc. and COMMIT to everyone, and these people are in a sweet place of Contentment/trust? How do you even quantify it? U do not know the needs/wants of each person, as it varies sporatically. Monogamous or not, Individuals do not all desire children, a family home or be with their loved ones 100% of the time, they grow & cherish each other at their own pace - so again, fear a commitment? What's commitment? A break up is a break up regardless, you can't minimize the hurt from honest connections, unless you work on self. Exclusivity is not synonym of commitment.

[@wiidiwii]

Live and let live is what I think when it comes to how other people choose to live their lives.

[@acreknight6789]

... said every moron since the beginning of time

[@mindscraped]

I agree but why broadcast it on youtube? Life is depressing enough already. So you ask. Why did i watch it? Morbid curiosity i guess.

[@HackGar]

Live and let live, judge and let judge muahahaha

[@PseudoPseudoDionysius]

Why’s the title about open relationships if the video is only about polyamory? Like this kind of relationship is ultimately very different to physically open relationships.

[@darksavior1187]

I agree, but for some reason poly is the darling of being open, because I guess its more noble to desire more love, not just more sex.

[@curlycakess]

It’s because it’s actually impossible to enforce a rule that you’re not allowed to fall in love with your sexual partners.

[@iridescentsquids]

@@curlycakess lol. Holy moly that's not true.

[@ItsSoulRealPodcast]

Cause monogamy is the norm and media caters to that while not understanding polyamory to even know that open relationships aren't polyamorous

[@lindayang3188]

People don't understand that there's different types of an open relationship. It's different for every relationship. It could be poly, it could just be you and your partner having sex with completely other people or being open emotionally. Or only have your partner open, or just you open. There's always rules. To keep things under control. You might not agree with it and is strictly monogamous, and that's okay. Just like how being poly is too.

[@petewinslowofficial]

Someone is always getting the short end of things in open relationships. They aren't what they seem

[@downsjmmyjones101]

How so?

[@brauliosalcedo5418]

I feel that is true in any relationship though.

[@sandipansadhu872]

@@brauliosalcedo5418 then that relationship is toxic

[@ItsSoulRealPodcast]

Open relationships are ethically nonmonogamous, but not polyamorous. This video seems to actually be about polyamory.

[@NadiaVenice]

Aren’t non-monogamous and polyamorous synonymous?

[@IronicallySell]

Not necessarily. While all polyamorous relationships are non monogamous, not all non monogamous are polyamorous. This is because there are actually different approaches to non monogamy. You get open relationships who is while ROMANTICALLY monogamous, they aren’t sexually exclusive. There’s also polyamory, which is when someone is in a ROMANTIC relationship with two or more people. Non monogamy is an umbrella term to refer to different types of relationships in which it doesn’t practice monogamy in some way.

[@matthewweflen]

John Stuart Mill advocates the "liberty of tastes and pursuits; of framing the plan of our life to suit our own character; of doing as we like, subject to such consequences as may follow: without impediment from our fellow-creatures, so long as what we do does not harm them, even though they should think our conduct foolish, perverse, or wrong." He was a pretty smart guy.

[@alvincyt]

Translation: You aren't good enough, and I was just settling in first place because the wall was around the corner and I needed that big day in my life.

[@Thoughtcorner224]

I have a date who expressed he would like to explore polyamory but when I tell him stories involving other male friends he often gets jealous. I feel he’s not really polyamorous.

[@independentjessy1634]

stumbled upon this because about an hour ago the guy I've been seeing couldn't accept what I believed. we broke it off and It hurts so much because I like him alot...I was damn near falling in love..but its also unfair of me to bring him along this ride and risk getting hurt and not feeling good enough in the end (even though that isnt what it is at all). I'm just learning that this is a part of me and it scares me. Maybe the universe will reward me soon for being courageous..but right now I just feel like a monster. And I can't believe its over.

[@agladman194]

Independent Jessy, I know someone just like you. List someone she loved as they couldn't accept her as she is. Fast forward 7 years and she's now found her open soul mate. Have faith girl, and continue being you.

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

What Alan said 👍👌

[@mariagutier8372]

I feel for you. I am in a committed 11 year long relationship and find myself very curious about trying this out. I feel bad for my partner and I feel monstrous for wanting a different lifestyle. But if I'm honest I know that this curiosity isn't going to go away no matter how much I will it to.

[@u4ealistic]

Human beings are not monogamous by nature. That's a cultural thing, and not part of our biology or instincts. Where we get in trouble in this world is in not having flexibility in the systems we use to relate to and support and take care of each other in various ways. Monogamy may be the cultural norm, but it is *not* the biological norm, which is why cheating in relationships is such a huge problem. Having an open framework and honest communication not only prevents this from happening, it helps both people grow, psychologically and spiritually. Plus, there is a huge benefit in having other people in your life in that way. If something happens to one, you have other people to support you and help you through life whereas with monogamy, you're screwed if you lose your partner-- I'm not talking about being financially screwed, I'm talking about being screwed on a heart level. Love is something that never decreases by being shared.

[@stealth797]

"Love is something that never decreases by being shared." Exactly. Just like having a second child doesn't mean you love the first one any less. The science is pretty clear, sexual monogamy is deeply at odds with human nature. I'd recommend people read the book 'Sex At Dawn' to get a better understanding of our true primal evolutionary sexual nature.

[@theopenmindedtruthseeker9747]

John M.+ Thanks for making me lose hope in humanity

[@tiffanykershpalmer2143]

John M. Showering and wearing deodorant and flushing the toilet isn’t natural. It’s not in human characters to do that but the behavior is taught to you. Monogamy is a behavior you learn over time. So your comment sounds really ignorant. Open relationships are situationships. There is no relationship in an open relationship that’s wanting the idea of a relationship and still holding on to wanting being a thot.

[@theopenmindedtruthseeker9747]

Rob Schartner+ Um in what way?

[@jaguarandi2]

People are naturally jealous, naturally possessive and while monogamous relationships may not be natural themselves, the consequences of jealousy and possessiveness are clear. these are simply waters that are too dangerous for most people to swim in.

[@MaxOnePercent]

I cannot imagine being in an open relationship with someone that I actually cared about. I can could see an open relationship being a good way to transition out of a shitty relationship and search for someone I actually care about. Certainly, as soon as I found someone better I would want monogamy with that person. I have a feeling that is what is really going on in these relationships, but no one wants to be honest about it.

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

MaxOnePercent no, it's just you and I know you don't see it but it's a pretty shitty sounding thing to use one person to support yourself until you find the next "real " relationship. You haven't considered that much like being straight or gay, that there's people who are "wired " for one or the other with others in the middle who can be happy in either relationship structure

[@darkcherryorchid]

A lot people express the concern of there only being so much for a relationship with so many. I babysat for another polycule, a gentlemen and the two wonderful individuals who shared his home. The three raised their kids with so much love and attentiveness that could melt away my own concerns and insecurities about this. It can be jarring from the outside looking in, but the reality is that the limitations of time and energy do help to keep a maintainable relationship with all involved parties. It's all about knowing what you can balance and manage really. Nobody is trying to have a real, deep relationship with 10 people at a time bc that just isn't realistic. Three or four is what appears to be most common in my community at least.

[@paull.rogers4562]

I'm an aromantic asexual. Not kidding. When I watched this I was wondering why aren't people talking about my group? Anyway, I don't think they are weird. They are just different.

[@matthewweflen]

I initially read this as "aromatic asexual" and it gave the comment a totally different meaning. :-)

[@renepedraza2311]

WHat is an "AROMATIC" asexual...you sniff underwear?

[@IAmEmber]

How do you come to this idea w each other? Oftentimes it’s one person who broaches the subject and the other that goes along w it because they don’t want to lose their partner.

[@CactusJack60]

This is for a very low percentage of people. Let's just be REAL.

[@downsjmmyjones101]

The same number of people that are gay.

[@BobbyTMF]

With that logic marriage also is for a low percentage but most marriages end in divorce and the remaining percentage aren’t all happy. Statistically monogamy and marriage does not work. You can’t argue that.

[@ashley_brown6106]

How about talking about the other, very real side of open relationships. Not wanting to fully commit, wanting to have a safe place you can always return to but also explore your options. Minimizing the emotional risk, since if the person leaves you, you'll always have other people to go to. Needing constant reassurance and validation (emotional or sexual). Having an unhealthy/uncontrolable libido. Not being able to put limits to yourself and/or control your urges. Using a non monogamous relationship as a "safety net" to not get too emotionally attached. Not wanting to do any sacrifices for the persom you love like denying other pleasures or experiences. Like he said, wanting to "have your cake and eat it too", signifying a person who's greedy and doesn't want to make any sacrifices. Or masking insecurities like the uncertainty of cheating that can lead someone to agree to an open relationship so they don't give the other person the "power" or even opportunity to cheat on them. Not feeling good enough to deserve a partner all to yourself, feeling unworthy of exclusivity/feeling like you couldn't possibly be everything someone could ever want or need. These are by no means something people should be judged for, people should just understand that there are many unhealthy reasons a person could want to be in an open relationship, just like there are unhealthy reasons people want to be in monogamous relationships. Sometimes the decision to engage in an open relationship is a red flag that some deeper issues need to be worked with...

[@andrewm8426]

The world already judges non-monogamy enough, they need to hear the positive side much more

[@maumiceli]

Thank you for saying this. I believe it's possible to have a healthy open relationship (and we're trying to pull it off with my partner, after a hard period with some of these things you mention from her end and then closing the relationship, now opening back but very very slowly, carefully and mindfully) but it's really difficult and these issues have to be on the table in order for it to be healthy.

[@alexbourlis]

WHY do young people talk about how to see relationships?????? I want a fucking 70 year old that has lived some stories to tell us about that.

[@BunnyBun82]

Because it’s still new.

[@alexbourlis]

@@BunnyBun82 nothing about that is new, polygamy is here since human beings exist

[@CloakedC]

Why are ALL the guys bearded 👀

[@Expl0rati0n]

Facial hair isn't a fad... that's like saying having hair on top of your head is a fad.

[@fatherleo4603]

They're overcompensating for their lack of masculine energy.

[@yourfutureexhusband2232]

I have a beard. I think a beard is a mans version of what makeup is to a woman..... it changes your look 100%. I look like a 30 year old man with a beard and I look like a 11 year old boy with a shaved face. Just like women look beautiful with makeup caked on their face... and look like burnt rubber waffles without any make up on....

[@iridescentsquids]

@@Expl0rati0n Being bald was a fad for a time.

[@sbo6477]

YourFutureExHusband 22 how can you compare genetic facial hair to chemicals fabric made. Lmao

[@immanuelngonge4527]

Let's be real, Just stay single

[@Brickinasock]

Translation: commitment issues.

[@aidanbearor6190]

Everybody is gonna have a stroke in the comments and be super over critical of these people.

[@stealth797]

To be fair, the people The Atlantic choose for this video aren't exactly the best representatives for the polyamory "brand"... Here's a much better example: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fHKrhmWVhN6DmMk

[@metatechnocrat]

Burn them all! Burn them at the stake!!!!! Oh wait this is about polyamourous relationships?? Sorry thought this was the one about witches. my bad.

[@rhyothemisprinceps1617]

Many find the idea of other people having polyamorous relationships threatening, for some reason.

[@shin-ishikiri-no]

@@rhyothemisprinceps1617 A lot of them are jealous and secretly want everyone else to deal with the same mundane problems they have. It's the same reason people at work get bent out of shape when you game the system even a little bit and "report" you for things like taking perfectly good food that's already on its way to being thrown out... Yes, this is from personal experience. lol

[@HoHhoch]

@@shin-ishikiri-no That's pure speculation and projection. Some people just aren't comfortable with the idea of a polyamorous relationship, and has absolutely nothing to do with what they can't have. And resturaunts tend to not let employees eat "perfectly good food" that's being thrown out because that food is usually the result of wrongfully prepared food. Now you've given employees a reason to mess up orders if they get to take home food. Terrible example.

[@A94-c5z]

That comment the lover made about how repulsive it would be for them all to have dinner together is so unacceptable. Polyamory or not, that is so disrespectful and I could only imagine how hurt his primary partner was after hearing that. She looks like she's still hurting a lot and he doesn't seem very compassionate. Repulsive? That is such hostile, malicious language. If he had full respect for his primary partner, he would be equally offended by a comment like that as she was. Did he keep seeing the woman after she said that? Shame on him if he did.

[@socalstreets]

Agreed. That would be the kiss of death for one of our outside playmates.

[@post-leftluddite]

In my opinion, an "open" relationship means you're not in a relationship

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

Brynden Rivers thankfully your opinion and a dollar will buy you a soda .

[@smmm5559]

@@firstlast-ql8gn you know he's right that's why you're triggered

[@neurospicypisces]

1. the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. 2. the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other. 3. the state of being connected by blood or marriage. No where does the dictionary definition say that a relationship has to be between just 2 people. You can have a relationship with Jack, and then you can also have a relationship with Jill. Jack and Jill might decide that they want to be in a relationship too so then you, Jack, and Jill are in a relationship.

[@coburgkid]

Open relationship = Let me look for someone better while I have you at home until I find it.

[@allbushnocraft3031]

what I find interesting is none of the males look like they are an alpa type male

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

moonie 70 you mean toxic masculinity

[@henatatorplays]

What I find interesting is that we’re still trying to define a human social structure in terms of a pack of wolves

[@stealth797]

I'm actually a proponent of non-monogamous relationships, but I agree the dudes in this video look like pussys. Look up Aubrey Marcus, a good example of a masculine dude successfully practicing polyamory with his girlfriend.

[@fatherleo4603]

What I want to know is how the children of these people will grow up to be like.

[@shin-ishikiri-no]

Possibly far, far better off. Possibly worse. It really depends on who the kids are surrounded by growing up as to whether or not there's a negative impact. My prediction is that kids of monogamous parents will definitely be assholes to kids of polyamorous families. Monogamous parents themselves will also be condescending assholes, and probably try to get law enforcement involved to break up the family... The fix? Limit their interaction with assholes until old enough to deal with, or better - explain to them why they are unique/special and build their confidence, or, alternatively tell them to lie about the family situation. lol

[@yourfutureexhusband2232]

I’m sure these people aren’t telling their children who they are fucking. Get real

[@priscillam8903]

@@shin-ishikiri-no Why do monogamous people always have to play the devil here? Poly people can cheat, lie and assholes as well if you think this is not the case then you are delusionnal

[@joanaborges9450]

Exactly. This is terrible on every single level.

[@glitchboi3537]

@@shin-ishikiri-no I bet you would disagree with this comment of yours the moment you hit 40 with no stable marriage or kids.

[@zabylurt]

Every girl will eventually get bored of being with one man, then will secretly start chatting with other men online and meeting them, to which they will say "he's just a friend" and the jealousy and toxicity that stem from this will lead to a breakup, and she will actually start dating the other guy for realz. In an open relationship this isn't the case, nothing is a secret, and she wont have to make excuses, but instead she will keep you in the loop and tell you where shes going and who shes chatting with, this is an exciting time for her, shes finally found a mature boyfriend who she can be with for a long time while still having the freedom to do the things she enjoys in life

[@herrpicard7906]

sorry that you had this experience. you just met the wrong women. Not saying you are a bad lover or anything but what you say is simply not true. There are plenty commited monogamous women. It's education not nature to cheat.

[@phoenix3996]

Interesting people

[@anetabrlikova8454]

I mean, just be single and explore your field or whatever you call it and be just friends with no sex with the person you want to have the open relationship. Is simple. I find all those ppl hypocrites. For me it sounds just terrible.

[@herasean5720]

Honestly, agreed... Why in relationship if they can be devoted? Be single and go out with whoevever they want without commitment

[@maralinemanahan9012]

Polygamist should consider this

[@moonglampers]

polyamorists are totally different from swingers because they're so much more in touch with their emotions

[@superNowornever]

good one

[@mindscraped]

Bullshit

[@proudy015]

Mhm they are ignoring emotion at best.

[@monke473]

People don't have other aspects of life anymore, everything is about sex and relationships in their lives. I am not saying it's not important but people do stress over relationships too much. I am doing masters rn, i literally don't have time for dating and people here having multiple relationships or cheating each other. Do not start getting angry on me😂😂maybe it's me who doesn't understand how to live a life🤡.

[@michaelaberry1276]

'People in poly relationships are just greedy' - yep, and I love being greedy (works really well for my bi bf too)

[@amberwilson4620]

Riiiight ?!!??? I cannot even begin to TRY to understand it!!!

[@SandraShani1]

They look like they are on the verge of crying lol.

[@joanaborges9450]

Exaclty. This is emotionally abusive. That's basically cheating with extra steps. People are getting insane nowadays.

[@bismuthrainbowunicorn6383]

Guysss. Please help me. Im in a very stable relationship with my boyfriend. Lately he was aking me to consider an open relationship. I really really love him. But I don't understand it, and Im still hesitant of the idea. Can you please guys explain it to me. P.s. im gay.

[@joanaborges9450]

If he asks you that, he doesn't really love you and/or he is a low value man afraid of commitment. He doesn't deserve you. Leave him and cut your losses.

[@katypodbielski]

Watch Kat Blaque 💜

[@samuel.t.basilio]

Ask him why and try to have him explain it to you. Communication is key. If you can't reach a consensus, one of you have to make a choice.

[@maralinemanahan9012]

Make a choice. If your not in the same page it's not gonna work but at least try to work that if you can.

[@stealth797]

Shout out to Chris Ryan and his seminal book "Sex At Dawn"... definitely a paradigm shift for me.

[@vitekprchal8608]

Mybe its just me. But I see one extremely agreeable person and the second person whose psychopathic enough to exploit that. Which is probably not that bad.... But anyways...

[@MichaelRe-c7q]

This might sound odd but I feel as if theres a cold war of sorts thesw days in relationships between monogomy and polyhedonism. Two ideologies that both bring up good points.

[@jvhamby5]

I do not believe that this is ever a good idea. I’d leave my partner immediately because they betrayed my trust and lit my feelings on fire

[@tamimalam4787]

Non monogamous people will regret it when they are old..

[@SusannaPowers]

A monogamous person could easily regret only having been with one person for so long as well. It’s all about picking the right partner(s)

[@tamimalam4787]

@@SusannaPowers yes so always pick the right partner...who loves you for you..

[@tamimalam4787]

But only 1 ...

[@SusannaPowers]

@@tamimalam4787 whatever floats your boat, dude

[@zerodark30hours]

I've been seeing someone for like 4 months now. We aren't exclusive. We've been on dates with other people. I'm kinda over dating other people. I'm starting to have feelings for her and I don't know what to do. I feel jealous when she's seeing someone else but I don't let her know. I think I want to be exclusive with her but I know that's not what she wants. Does anyone have any advice?

[@comelearnsomali4511]

Talk it out. Figure out what you really want. If you two don't seem to want the same, let go. Or waste your time being unhappy and uncertain. Your choice.

[@LabGecko]

Counseling can be an option too. There are professionals who specialize in these sort of relationships. Dr Doe has a lot of good tips. kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZoeueIWohN-Aesk

[@ArawnOfAnnwn]

'Primary partner'...*sigh* Disappointing. Also all young. And fairly good-looking, especially the men. And none of the third parties were ever shown. The only thing that made this vid interesting was the statistic on bisexuality in the middle. For the curious who can't be bothered to watch through it to see - "50% of polywomen are actively bisexual, in contrast to 5% of polymen". That (along with the number of such people - 1.2 - 2.4m in the US) is genuinely interesting, unlike the rest of it.

[@mindscraped]

You might find it interesting to look up some information where they did studies on women and found that 40% of the women claiming to be strictly heterosexual have had at least once tried Lesbian sex..

[@thembamabona9809]

…..let’s see a video on longterm open relationships, 10yrs plus 😅

[@anthonypalermo6385]

All the "monogamous" people commenting in this thread and passing judgement: have you ever cheated on your partner? And if not, are you so sure they havent cheated on you? o.O

[@yourfutureexhusband2232]

Anthony Palermo i want to bring this up to my wife. But have no clue how to do it because all these monogamous poliphobes make people out to be “already cheating” simply for bringing up the subject..... my wife is my queen.... but I think her and I have explored past our comfort zones and we know what each other like and we are comfortable with our crazy nights... I know she is a very jealous person and so am i.... but I think this could be way more than just booty on the side... I think that it could connect us on a whole new level..... I just wish I knew 100% that it wouldn’t ruin our marriage to try :/

[@odemata87]

That doesn't justify. Cheating as the word denotes is something wrong. Oddly enough, in these sorts of relationships you still have cheating so having multiple partners or however its defined doesn't solve that. To me personally it seems a lot like a bunch of confused people who have issues with mono relationships and that's okay.

[@ybnfatboi2656]

i have a better idea let’s talk about me

[@RiseUpToYourAbility]

These people only love themselves. They only care about their own happiness and not the happiness of their partners. You only have a finite amount of time, and attention. There is no way you can love 5 people the same way as you can love one person.

[@joanaborges9450]

In my opinion, this whole trend of "open relationships" was created by low value men, so they can have a woman there for them, but also sleep around and be unfaithful. And then the woman cannot get upset, because it was an open relationship and "she knew what she was getting into since the beginning". This for me it's a load of crap.

[@feikes1878]

Not liking or understanding how other people love is okay, but to call those people 'Low value' seems a bit extreme.

[@thetechlibrarian]

You got it backwards

[@heartspacerelaxations6924]

I disagree. It’s created by elites as Aldous Huxley predicted, as part of social engineering. The whole of hunn my amity will lose out. Check out brave new world.

[@Jeffreyd337]

This video is beautiful to see.

[@amberwilson4620]

How is this “beautiful?!!??!!????”

[@ZenPoet]

@@amberwilson4620 … because he thinks it’s beautiful. it’s beautiful to him. beauty is subjective, not objective. we don’t all find all the same things beautiful.

[@DoveLady]

talk about going to extremes to kill the boredom

[@andersbeth6786]

That thumbnail lol

[@brettmarrow8419]

We Are Just Getting Started! 😂👍🏽

[@shin-ishikiri-no]

Normies and NPCs can't understand this lifestyle.

[@Dustwitch]

Oh, the idiocy...it's usually one partner (usually the guy) who wants sex on the side. If you know such a couple keep them away from your partner, they have no boundries or respect for other relationships and work to undermine them.

[@ribbongraph_old]

I'm sorry that your experience of poly folks has been bad. While that may happen sometimes, it's definitely not universal.

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

Antoinette Demarie you are fake news

[@Cinnabar_and_Chalcanthite]

Better this way for those that can't really commit fully to a relationship than lying to yourself and others the way so many do, resulting in one of the partners always having sex with others outside the relationship. I've played the game. Did it in my mid 20's, back in the 90's. Often it is a biological thing that is more common in men that women but culture also plays a large role in it too. With a man out sewing so many seeds, lol... is he gonna have enough money to pay for all the children that might result or the horror of passing one STD to the other and more...There was a study one, or a hypothesis in the scientific community years ago, if I remember correctly relating testicle size to monogamy or lack there of and the genetic variations needed to secure the species in case one was wiped out or there was wide scale population decrease...

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

WhiteTigerForever25 monogamy = exclusivity. Monogamy does not equal commitment.

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

Those are two different things and you don't have to be monogamous to be committed.

[@Cinnabar_and_Chalcanthite]

Lol, then I prefer being committed to being committed and sexually exclusive, XD! I tried the players game and nope, wasn't for me. In other tribes, times, cultures, maybe but not in this lifetime. :) Edit: I meant swingers not players.

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

WhiteTigerForever25 "players game " 🤦‍♂️

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

WhiteTigerForever25 really not understanding what I thought was a simple to understand concept.

[@glennweber9290]

Look at all those fun, young, naively doomed relationships. Good luck folks!

[@LabGecko]

In an open marriage for 15 yrs, and we're both in our 50s. Add that to your bag of statistics.

[@jessejameslatimer8686]

@@LabGecko My parents met when they were 12 and still together... they are now pushing 60.. 15 years is nothing compared to them.

[@LabGecko]

@@jessejameslatimer8686 in an open marriage? Also, grats to your parents. My parents have been married for 65 yrs, but that doesn't diminish what my wife and I have.

[@illusionist1872]

You have no eyes. Its not even that you refuse to open them, you have no eyes.

[@basiclee5770]

ughhhhh....

[@rocketgirl327]

I think my issue with o.r's is that I connect with my partner through physical touch and emotional vulnerability mixed together. If there is not a type of exclusivity then the sacrifices I make for the relationship feel not worth it to me. It immediately makes me not want to be emotionally available to them or do anything for them. It's the "coming back home" problem for me. I'm suppose to coddle your emotional baggage and all the tiring complexities that comes with being in a relationship with someone, while someone else just gets to share and enjoy an intimate sexual moment with you and get none of the work that comes with a relationship. I get to open up my temple (my body) for someone who just copied and pasted an experience that they recently had with someone else? So I'm basically a fuckable parent, I might as well be a doormat. I'm not like putting this idea off put this is my problem with o.r's. Does anyone disagree?

[@priya-kf7yb]

im here for school year 9 rs lol

[@gravyfan]

sex is bad, end monogamy and poly now

[@somecuriosities]

😂

[@rdtx2049]

Polyamory and open relationships are things of those who are fallen from the moral values. It's just disgusting. Morden terms and shit...

[@eyztravel5582]

open relationship should be illegal!!!

[@socalstreets]

ethelbert Zamora in what country?

[@eyztravel5582]

@@socalstreets philippines bro..

[@eyztravel5582]

oh did you mean what country should it be illegal? if that is your q? then my answer will be any f'n country where humanity exist...

[@socalstreets]

ethelbert Zamora ...and where would that be?

[@johnconroy3180]

♾💙💛🖤

[@blomegoog]

bottom line, no marriage, wake up, its a business

[@maralinemanahan9012]

Monogamy is sooo hard yet polygamy is hard but more easier then Monogamy. What makes monogamy so hard ? 1. Being exclusive 2. Restricts Choices and options 3. The quantity of Jealousy in monogamy Is higher than polygamy

[@ukog6048]

That's just toxic..

[@cavv0667]

(from the Thumbnail) Sooooo, Polygamy = Bad word... Non-Monogamy = Good? word... If this isn't "spin doctor" shit... am I right?!? I don't particularly care as long as it doesn't involve me, but why hide what it is?... You're not going to erase the stigma! People that are against, some vehemently so, will remain against it. Should you really give a shit???

[@RaveYoda]

Polygamy is the practice of marrying multiple spouses. Non-Monogamy/Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners. One involves marriage while the other doesn't or isn't nearly as such.

[@matthewponder3800]

Polygamy is defined as a *marriage* between more than 2 partners. People use "non-monogamy" or "polyamory" to talk about any romantic/sexual relationship, married or not :)

[@agladman194]

Non-monogamy covers a multitude of relationship types but polygamy isn't one of them. Polyamory however (which IS a type of non-monogamous relationship) is frequently confused with polygamy by the uninformed simply due to the similarities in the spelling. If you "don't particularly care" why are you even commenting on this?

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

Polygamy is usually steeped in religion, patriarchy, placing men and women etc Nonmonogamy/polyamory is egalitarian

[@superNowornever]

Alain de Boton exploring his sexuality (finally) in middle age? This is so deeply immature.

[@jaguarandi2]

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, but hey if you can pull it off, congrats.

[@Alex-dn5hi]

Hard pass on this...

[@thevoid8948]

What the fuck does "actively bisexual" mean?

[@macbookproearly2011]

it's a made up term people claim to feel apart of a social group and to feel accepted. They need to justify their odd behaviors. example: Furries, never heard of that shit until I saw it...But somehow there's an entire community of them...The internet is the new TV, but the internet cannot be regulated, only manipulated.

[@jasperwilliams3154]

*_. . . good question, but so would an inquiry into what the hell is: _*"ethical non-monogamy"?_* What we've been witnessing, here, and for the last nine years, is the resulting consequences of we the people, allowing, for eight damn years, the most unethical, immoral representative who proved himself to be consumed with one dark and deviant sexual obsession after another, and therein, perverted, demoralized and shit stained our presidential seat of these United States.*_ We can only hope, for whatever time the Honorable President Trump is in that office, he can continue to return a sense of honor and dignity back to it and our nation, therein, causing a trickling down of morality to be allowed back into the public spotlight for our young people to absorb. Soetoro has so disgustingly flooded us with every form of sexual indecency, sodomy and barbarian behavior via every one of his heresies [demands] that he and his equally deviant administration, appointees and the entire democrat-communist party, forced everyone to "tolerate" and live with. From corporate and government entities to private citizens families and lives, his violations of privacy, his willfully forcing forcing every grotesque act of sodomy toleration down the throats of what was and still is, a majority against public sodomy and or explicitly designed protections and outright propagandized government glorification of sodomy. We've always known his falsified polls and statistics were all concocted by criminals, perverts and diverse communist operatives, for the expressed purpose of deceiving an otherwise unwilling citizenry. He did likewise to a likewise deceived and unwilling military, by using falsified and conflated polls and statistics, again, created by equally perverted communist NGO's and communist media operatives, to further demoralize and make mockery of our nation, its military and the entire populous of private citizens. Meanwhile, we sat back and watched our nation tumble into this present chaotic ideological error that is responsible for more death and misery around the world than all the world's wars and communist DICKtator operations put together. The communist operatives who've designed this act of demoralizing the citizenry for the purpose of turning everyone against God and Jesus Christ in their lives have been functioning since Kinsey, and Kinsey's most disgusting work, including, baby-adult sodomy propaganda, beAstiality, polygamy, group-sex, you name it, ALL OF IT, exploded under the vile leadership of Barry Hussein Soetoro, or, as he is known in his Chicago Sodomy clans, Bathhouse Barry? The real question must be, what do we do to assure, no propagator of sodomy is ever granted so much power again!

[@macbookproearly2011]

You need to take your meds

[@MrAidanFrancis]

I think it means a person currently dates or has sex with people of multiple genders.

[@drekfletch]

Contrasted with monogamous bisexual people who could be said to be "actively gay" or "actively straight" depending on who they're dating. Personally, I think it's a silly distinction. But then again, so many people think bisexuality doesn't exist.

[@macbookproearly2011]

We aren't animals, but at the same time we are. Rome fell and converted to christianity for a reason. America is falling.

[@post-leftluddite]

Rome's collapse, as with quite literally every civilization in human history, was largely due to environmental destruction....are you one of those idiots that believe, despite absolutely no peer-reviewed scholarly research to support it, that homosexuality and debauchery brought the empire down?

[@macbookproearly2011]

you said that, not me.

[@acreknight6789]

You are the only brainwashed idiot here - misusing the word "literally" in every sentence & going on & on about environmental nonsense every chance you get. You have never had an original thought in your life; you are a clone

[@post-leftluddite]

"You've never had an original thought". First, I'd like to point out, that by attacking me, in no way do you refute my point at all, in fact, attacking the messenger is the last desperate act of a scoundrel who doesn't have either the intelligence or the information to refute the message, so I'll take you're immature bleating as a compliment. No, I haven't used "literally" incorrectly, because quite Literally, every single civilization in human history has collapsed due to environmental degradation, and while I could site here an cite numerous peer-reviewed, scholarly articles from academic journals such as Nature (to which I subscribe) the work I am citing, since I'm sure you don't have the intelligence or patients to read through scientific studies, for that is "Guns, Germs, and Steel" by Jarrod Diamond, who knows infinitely more than you could ever on this topic. You are not an expert, or a researcher or anything really, you've done no in depth research into this area, so your personal opinion, which has absolutely no backing from any empirical data or evidence, is completely worthless. Despite why your mommy told you and what Fox & FRiends tells you, your opinion doesn't mean anything and everyone's opinion SHOULDN'T be heard. Once you're able to cite a peer reviewed source, then maybe I'll start to take your bleating as something worthy for attention. Should I be offended by you saying "you've never had an original thought"? I'm not sure what that even means...are you referring to your "original thoughts" of passing your unrehearsed opinions off as facts? I suppose I could have as many "original" thoughts as you if I didn't care about research and evidence.

[@macbookproearly2011]

you need to take your meds bro. You use a lot of fancy words but can't accomplish your point in one paragraph. you're ranting. get a therapist also.

[@adhocsophist]

This is why you shouldn't drink soy kids.

[@firstlast-ql8gn]

Benjamin .Kent everybody costumes soy 🙄 Vegans eat soy and so do meat eaters.. So? 🤷‍♂️

[@stealth797]

I'm actually a proponent of non-monogamous relationships, but I agree the dudes in this video look like pussys. Look up Aubrey Marcus, a good example of a masculine dude successfully practicing polyamory with his girlfriend. Also a lot of masculine "alpha" men in the Pick Up Artist community in non-monogamous relationships.

[@bobdole991]

2nd dude is a stoner

[@heatherann4390]

People obviously dont love their partners.

[@thebigboofint8834]

FIRST

[@boyfrienddick]

thank you for this video!

[@Thiccwaifusinc]

"Well there was that comedian" bruv, if you knew that why didn't you leave? 🤣 Going out sad

[@then35t18]

Am I the only one who thinks these people have mad cognitive dissonance?

[@rigostarr5455]

Oh hell no

[@JonnyBeoulve]

Polyamory is not the solution.

[@SusannaPowers]

It’s not, nor does it claim to be. It’s not as if monogamy has ever been a solution either

[@Nathan411466]

Polyamorous isn't me for. I'd get too jealous. But I don't want people telling me how to live my life. And I don't think polyamorous people would want me to tell them how to live theirs.

[@maralinemanahan9012]

Hahaha they also make monogamist jealous and possessiveness is bad. Thank God that I know nihilism. Avoid extremes

[@youtubefans510]

indeed thats exactly the problem with monogamy exclusive and absolute monogamy for a lifetime is expected and thus imposed you cannot always for a lifetime ignore feelings for others but you can be open and honest about them WITH THE RIGHT PERSON and that creates trust rather than you feel you have to hide things in fear of judgement , confrontation or even fear of divorce and the stigma as immoral or untrustworthy we are all human capable to feel different things for different people dan savage idea of monogamish as long as you can be open and honest with them but that is exactly the whole big problem in practice with many people you can read any you tube film about cheating and read the judgemental self righteous unforgiving and even sanctimonious attitudes of people particularly from people with religious doctrine who are supposed to be more tolerant more understanding more forgiving but they are often the exact opposite I am not surprised that people hide things and lie the whole subject is still very much a big taboo at my former work place rumours you hear a lot of cheating about but in public siilence colleagues collegues of partners colleagues it would be like opening a can of worms (british expression)

[@Johnny13Tube]

The hell is this harp music?

[@heartspacerelaxations6924]

HSP’s, people with anxious or disordered attachment, plus those with challenges fully empathising such as learning difficulties / neuro divergent seem to suit non monogamy better. People with secure attachment can handle monogamy with less challenge.

[@prettyhollypolly7553]

thats patronising