Can You Be In Love With Multiple People? | Middle Ground

[@yuritzaruvalcaba9625]

That boy is madly in love with his wife, I respect that.

[@MegumiHayashida]

When he said he actually loves her more everyday... GOALS

[@TacitSwine750]

Man*. He has far exceeded that title in all honesty.

[@littleleah335]

Yuritza Ruvalcaba yep 100% respect

[@mahekdodani2351]

the fact that his wife is his first gf 🥺🥺🥺

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

I agree that's commendable

[@Ali-mb1zc]

There's a difference between loving the qualities of a person and actually being in love with a person

[@PETRICHOR_THRIFT]

How??

[@wakkozDeLaShit]

Laca-blud fam😂😂😂

[@freezingcoldcum5541]

@@PETRICHOR_THRIFT okay, so i love my boyfriend for example. I love his sense of humor, his voice, his face, you know qualities. BUT, I have always loved those things about him, once we started to date, there was just this different connection of love, like we can't be apart. I still find his face perfect, his voice amazing and his sense of humor funny, but if all of those were replaced, id still be able to love him and him love me back, because we don't love eachother for what qualities we have, we love eachother for the bond we share together.

[@PETRICHOR_THRIFT]

@@freezingcoldcum5541 got you♥️♥️

[@doggermcfluff5250]

Preach.

[@zachtrix8428]

The way that the polyamorous individuals spoke primarily of themselves whereas the monogamous individuals spoke more about their significant others was intriguing.

[@boostmymint]

People in poly relationships are more worried about self satisfaction, not to say they don’t care about their partners but people in mono relationships definitely care more about their partner than themselves.

[@asianbabygirl6646]

boostmymint trueee

[@CitsVariants]

boostmymint nice

[@chrisbedwards]

I know right? It speaks volumes.

[@iReturnV1deotapes]

Exactly. They all seem self absorbed and obsessed with their own gratification. That just isnt how I can imagine a relationship.

[@veronikailovepuppies9489]

The fact that they compare loving a romantic partner to loving your children or having more than one friend makes me wonder that maybe polyamorous people feel romantic love very differently from those who couldn´t do it

[@chester14rw]

it's just an example to explain that the different types of love can be applied to multiple people.

[@chester14rw]

so when it comes to romantic love, the same can be said for some. it's an orientation for some people,, so it's understandable when people don't get it... like I'll NEVER understand straight people

[@veronikailovepuppies9489]

@@chester14rw you'll never understand straight people and you're gay or what are you? I'm straight and I understand gay, bi or transgender people but polyamory is something I can really wrap my head around... Yet

[@sycamore0765]

Trueee

[@jecinhabibsaba5466]

Yeah

[@andibarefoot9766]

I love the girl with the reds hair perspective- she is so calm and peaceful and all of the things she said were so thoughtful and well worded.

[@bronoovian6070]

I agree! She actually had a good opinion and stayed completely calm.

[@heatherb8594]

I'm not poly-- but I really liked and agreed with some of her views.

[@haileyadkins8412]

Heatherly B she was on the monogamy side

[@giarichards1529]

fr lmk if you find her @

[@isabellalora6533]

🌹❤️🔥

[@emmasabanovic4760]

I love when people can just sit and share ideas and NOT argue it’s amazing

[@Z4.hn3]

Emma Sabanovic no, it’s boring and annoying.

[@flursfrost1152]

@@Z4.hn3 stfu

[@michaelbest7872]

Emma you are SO right about that ! I wish Govt today, (in the U.S.A), could be that way!

[@fiddyspenc410]

Magic of editing

[@eben7248]

Well they are technically arguing but in a healthy, peaceful and respectful way. I agree though :)

[@lepermessiah2011]

I can't even share my fries, how the hell do I share another human?

[@hariav1963]

Ikr

[@minalwaqasminalwaqas1504]

Same lol

[@user1927]

Lmao

[@lepermessiah2011]

@@stephie045 I own the fries in this scenario. If you want some, I'll gladly buy an extra order for you. Just don't tell me you don't want any and end up eating most of mine.

[@shantishalom1]

because humans don't belong to someone

[@sycamore0765]

15:25 "I feel like if sex was your first priority. You wouldn't really be in relationships." gosh she's so on point

[@bkw6329]

I left my ex because sex was one of his main priorities.

[@hodabeingextra8071]

@@bkw6329 that's not, emm ok

[@Jeffreyd337]

So true. The desire to be in a relationship with someone comes from so much more.

[@TmcJordan]

@@bkw6329 Men and Women aren’t the same Men view sex completely differently and it definitely matters significantly does not take away their love for the partner as a person but can’t act like sex isn’t a priority and for most men it’s the reason they deal with women to begin with if we’re honest

[@II-gg5my]

@@TmcJordan you acting like only men want sex and women don't 💀💀

[@kristystrives6979]

The point isn't so you get convinced into polygamy, the point of the video is to understand another human being even if their life choices are drastically different from yours.

[@DPJazzy]

THIS THIS THIS THIS!!! Thank you!

[@DisKorruptd]

Honestly, this is why I love this show, any time I debate things, my primary goal isnt to convince someone to agree, it's to help them understand perspective

[@Aggressive_carebear]

THANK YOU people are acting like we gonna make them have to be poly, we just want others to understand.

[@mekotan6106]

Yess! I'm in a monogamous relationship, but I have so much respect for my poly friends. It takes a lot of work and communication for those relationships. The point of these videos is to recognize that poly relationships exist and are valid❤

[@jake-id5wb]

no

[@rahera4236]

Guy: Why not just have one friend? Me as an introvert: B-b-but I only have one friend.

[@RellekEarth]

Lol this

[@beeweisberger7957]

That’s ok 👌

[@squirrmine4843]

I don't have any friends

[@e.2264]

lmao yes when that guy said '20 friends' I was like huhh how??

[@mrs.w8193]

Rahera lol this 💯 lol

[@nusaybahossain56]

The monogamous guy is a part of the world’s rarest 1% who are truly madly deeply in love with one person with all they have So much respect for this man and if you have someone like that you’re the luckiest person ever

[@_E_B_]

Theres plenty of monogamous men and women out there in the world. But I think alot of people have been hurt or have been let down by their past partner. That can make people more guarded on pursuing future monogamous relationships in the future. I was engaged twice. It didnt work out twice lol. I wasnt a perfect man and I still am not. But I did my best in the relationships. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. It sucks . I hope to find a woman to love and be in love with and have her feel the same way about me and have a family and life with.

[@trevorhelton6892]

Morals and preferences allow him to be the way he is. You'd be surprised to know that there is >1%. In fact, you are surrounded by them each day. I hope you find what you look for and have a beautiful life.

[@ihaveadegreeinmemes6377]

THAT'S still 70 million people

[@marvinradermacher5781]

1%? Are you high?

[@jjolive11]

My husband looks away from the tv when there is just girls in bikinis. I tell him every time that it doesn’t bother me and he is free to look. His response has always been “nah I’m good, I don’t want to.” He is always telling his coworkers about his “hot wife” and will get protective if any man is trying to get with me. I am an extremely lucky lady and I have eyes for no one else. I have had many terrible relationships and I don’t regret any of them because I know now that when you find a man like this you never let them go.

[@fienevandijk7224]

As an asexual virgin hearing about how sex was apparently vital to a relationship actually was one of the most interesting things about this conversation

[@darthbane5676]

The way I see it, it’s important that you and your partner(s) understand each other and are willing and able to accommodate each other’s needs. An asexual person who wants to be in a romantic relationship obviously won’t want to have sex at all, and it’s important that their partner respects and can handle that. I doubt you’d ever want to date someone who wants to sleep with you, assuming for argument’s sake that you’d ever want to date.

[@korkunge]

You can call yourself Asexual if you have not had sex, that like saying i dont like chocolate but have you tried it? "no?"

[@fienevandijk7224]

@@korkunge well it's more like Are you hungry? No But you haven't eaten anything yet

[@bayleaf2421]

@@korkunge I've haven't thrown myself into a cluster of cacti yet but I sure as hell know I don't want to

[@blurg2712]

Sex is just one aspect of a relationship and how important it is depends on the people in the association. It's odd to consider sex as the highest quality of a relationship, certainly when if you ask these people in any other context they will list things like "shared values, sense of humor, kindness" etc. When we start talking about open relationships suddenly people get VERY concerned about sex and only then do they describe it as the highest priority. I think people should take their finger off of the scale when measuring how important sex is.

[@SilverxWooz]

I love how totally mature and respective this discussion was. These participants came in with an open mind and genuinely seemed to be trying to find a middle ground rather than working to shut down the opposing view. Definitely one of my favourites in the series, thus far.

[@revaholic]

I enjoyed their discussion but I think if they are trying to win people over to ‘their side’ then it’s pointless. Especially the polyamorous people challenging the monogamous people about being jealous or not just having one friend. It’s like trying to convince fish that land is great. There’s little room for change here but a lot of room for understanding

[@brmay7375]

+revaholic they really aren't trying to pull them to the other side they're defending their own beliefs because the monogamous side is trying to imply that there's something psychologically wrong with the other side not feeling jealous

[@r0se1098]

BR May 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 somebody who gets it

[@daniellamoreno3616]

Yes agreed!!

[@akaurdad9790]

Double chin girl has left the chat

[@gracerossman3188]

“most of us have 10-20 friends” i don’t think so

[@Lady_Tee15]

😂🤣😂🤣

[@mackhayes8779]

My thought exactly haha

[@blessingashanti7039]

riiiiight

[@laceycole9100]

I have one... my fiancé 😂😂

[@disinfectingwipes]

I’m my own best friend lmao

[@RReid-xc8eg]

redhead: But, monogamy isn't easy . . . (everything she said after that = FACTS!!!)

[@laurad-l-m814]

Yes that was so powerful there was nothing more to say!

[@nuwanct3978]

yep monogamy takes a serious commitment in life & clearly that orange top girl is taking the easy way out

[@filtrations]

@@nuwanct3978 "easy way out" just stop please, if someone else lives a different lifestyle that you're not familiar with, it doesn't mean they're lazy...

[@filtrations]

@Gargee Basak monogamy may be hard but that doesn't mean someone who CHOOSES a different lifestyle is choosing that lifestyle just because it's easier... everyone has their preferences.

[@filtrations]

@Gargee Basak and youre talking to me like im not in a monogamous relationship myself, im just saying don't be so condescending just because you're not familiar with it.

[@HeyThatsInteresting97]

Having multiple marriages over time is not like “polyamory over time.” It’s more like monogamy, over time.

[@greyhood2564]

More like monogamy for the time.

[@Lili-ee7fu]

They were talking about when people marry again after an other relationship

[@HeyThatsInteresting97]

@@Starl1ng. monogamy is loving one person, at one time

[@Th0tSlAyErIII]

@@Starl1ng. Whenm you move on or when you fall out of love. The mind adapts (it has to). Polyamorous people can lose interest in their partners as well. It isn't exactly exclusive.

[@ja-ddoesitall9860]

@@HeyThatsInteresting97 the definition has evolved. It used to mean loving one person in your life. Now it means loving one person at a time; the term for that is serial monogamy. But even to that point, you can see that the definition needed to be expanded upon to incorporate more of who we are as people instinctively.

[@times8358]

When Ryan said “I love her more everyday”, it melted me. Like, I evaporated.

[@khae_g]

Duuuuude, me too. 😭

[@jacobhood5703]

That guy is doing it right.

[@bluephionex7119]

He's a real man. Ladies I hope all of you get that one day, it's hard to come by. Anyone else a hopeless romantic that thinks about love more than sex?

[@ameenahthomas9697]

He was raised the right way 😢💯

[@user-pv9pv4xf9c]

Yeah, good for him taht he had one gf that became his wife. I bet their relationship will last even into old age. Honestly that's what I truly want. But it's so hard to find a virtuous Christian girl that's at least cute. I'm sorry but physical attraction needs to be there to some degree.

[@yakob1248]

7:48 “... but monogamy isn’t easy... loving someone 10, 15, 50 years is hard... you have to find ways to love your partner for truly who they are, for all the good and all the bad... you have to find ways to spice things up...” There is wisdom in her words.

[@emagajdosova6627]

Tirsit Enbackom I don't agree. Everyone is saying that she is well-spoken etc. But if you truly love someone it is easy. You love them for who they are not what you like. I think people nowadays think you pick up a partner but it doesn't work that way. I love my partner with my whole heart. Yeah, we have ups and downs. But it is perfect. Love should not be hard. Polyamory is hard but in a different meaning. I said it in a very short way. I agree with both sides because both of them are right. For everybody love is different and it should be like that. Also, I hate the fact about friendship. Because you can have a stronger friendship than many perfect relationships. It is not the same thing. But the connection is the same in a very different way.

[@yakob1248]

Ema Gajdošová I sort of agree with you. I believe loving someone is easy, but keeping the relationship going is what makes it count. It’s one thing to love someone, it’s another thing to still love them that way 10, 15, 50 years from your youth, keeping a relationship together and always being there for your partner is an admirable thing to do.

[@emagajdosova6627]

Tirsit Enbackom I agree but at the same time if you truly love someone you will not want to spice things up because it seems perfect to you. But you always want to better the relationship. It is hard to describe. I am 28 and been married since 20 and in a relationship since 15 with the same person. Every morning I love him even more. And every day I think it is impossible to love him more but I still do. I always want to be better for him and give him more and more. To give him my last. But I also think there's no need to spice things up.

[@yakob1248]

Ema Gajdošová Alright, there’s not much to argue about there, thanks for your wisdom:)

[@gent0069]

Im not plyamorous...but that seems to me like a forced marriage or relationship...loving someone should come from within by itself, i mean thats true love...what she says seems to me like forcing yourself to love that person no matter what and that just sounds unhealthy lol...if you love someone you love them, if you dont you just dont...you feel it, you shouldnt have to force it...and it shouldnt be hard.

[@dina-dw8gp]

I don’t like how they compare friendships and relationships. There is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone.

[@itsamemoria1]

Exactly they're confusing platonic love with romantic love and love with lust

[@sandrah5229]

That's just the thing though, it's not like that for everyone. Some people can feel romantic love and be in love with more than one person. And the comparison to friendship is just a way to make others sort of understand what that would be like. Imagine if someone claimed with certainty that people can only share platonic love with one person at a time. You'd be like; No, that's not right. Because YOU have experienced feeling platonic love for more than one person at a time. It's the same with polyamorous people and romantic love.

[@MiguelSantos-kc6vw]

@@sandrah5229 not the same.

[@sandrah5229]

@@MiguelSantos-kc6vw You're entitled to your opinion but I find it odd to claim to know what other people experience. Just because the 2 types of relationship aren't compareable to YOU doesn't mean they aren't to others.

[@Anotherguy1st]

@@sandrah5229 I don't doubt that but because your dealing with another person I don't see how you can love multiple people, share yourself with multiple people, and also be fair to all of them. In my mind It's a contradiction, the only way for me to be in love is to only give that love and affection to one person. Of course you can love friends and family too but it's expected to be a different type of love.

[@vicsolimo]

A partmer should not complete you, but rather compliment you. There are going to be things your partner or you don't relate on, things you don't have in common, "needs" you won't be able to meet, but at the end of the day if you can accept each other for who you are and be "enough" for each other despite all that, then that's what matters.

[@TheScarletteWhisper]

Very wisely spoken.

[@emirilmacayaon7233]

No balls?

[@Desireeanimates]

somebody has been watching cinema therapy😉

[@mimi.w667]

I disagree you should be able to have all your needs met. Even in monogamy.

[@vicsolimo]

@@mimi.w667 You misunderstood what I meant by my statement. Your partner is supposed to compliment you, not complete you. It is not anyone's job to make you feel whole, but yourself. There are some needs we need to meet for ourselves like for example, doing things that make us happy. Our whole source of happiness cannot come from another person and we can't rely on someone else for everything. We are our own person. Yes, when we are with someone, there are needs that are the responsibility of our partner to meet and vise versa. But that's not what I meant.

[@frenchtoast4342]

“Why don’t we have one friend? why do we need multiple friends?” Jokes on you I have none

[@Ahyawnah]

looll

[@shoneden]

I'll be your friend french toast

[@primeraptorZ]

So me ....

[@DemonLord_D]

I only have one :/

[@DemonLord_D]

@XxLaponzoxX don't brag 😂

[@doubleminte8369]

These are pretty young people. Id love to hear this discussion from older people who have been poly/ monogamous longer. They would have more insight i believe.

[@space.404]

Yes!

[@himikotoga4752]

There aren't really any poly older people cuz cheating didn't really happen back then

[@josephine.mp4]

Yesss

[@T-wreckz]

Did both. Love is abundant, but being is limited. It's about balance and everyone is different

[@luckywithpaint7773]

@@doubleminte8369 woman were also severely punished if they were the once caught cheating

[@caleb4048]

“but monogamy isn’t easy” that hit different

[@someundeadtalent2016]

No relationship ever is easy, let's be honest 😂

[@Zeitics]

I wonder why if they are only attracted to one person and are happy

[@christopheramador6743]

I would of liked it better if she said love isn’t easy because monogamy itself is every easy I mean what do you think getting hitched is

[@MiCocinitaMX]

Because you're not really in love or you're not ready for commitment

[@bornofsource9419]

this subject is so complicated. but the simplest way for a successful civilization is majority monogamy . because it creates an inherit network of caring and protection. however, these days. things seem to be changing dramatically (technology). and what lies ahead can not really be known. but there are some decent projections

[@to_ru_kw]

Is it that hard to admit that both are okay? There are always going to be people who don’t fit the “norm” and shaming and projecting values is not going to fix anything. If it doesn’t harm anyone then go for it. Monogamy can work, non-monogamy can also work.

[@fans-ed1td]

Yes i agree with this. In the comments especially, a lot of people are projecting values. I've said this before. For example, you can't project your feelings to justify why non monogamy isn't a valid type of relationship. It may not be for you, but it certainly is a valid and legitimate type of relationship. But I see ppl completely trying to dismantle non monogamy and say it can't be real or valid.

[@marinadelocean]

This 💜

[@BirdsAndWhales]

I agree! I feel like the poly people were honeslty way more judgey (or at least just that one girl) because they saw the monogamy people as "unenlightened" or "stuck in society's norms" when that's not true, they just have a different preference.

[@yuri611]

I agree too. Monogamy, polyamory, open relationship or even a harem can work as long as all the parties are consenting adults and you know the consequences of entering such relationship.

[@rebecatj8494]

Discussion is the only way we progress as a society and it is completly fine, otherwise we'd be like "everything is ok, lets not question anything". I feel like for example, this discussion allows for certain unhealthy behaviours of classic monogomy to be questioned for the first time ever in a lot of people's minds. It is most definetly the norm and the norm is not always whats best. My point here is not to "convert" people to polyamory by discussing, but opening people to new ideas so they can truly make informed decisions and formulate more critical opinions. Someone could also make a similar observation about polyamory and point out what they think are unhealthy behaviours. We can (like in this video) very respectfully discuss that so that everyone can take their new learnings and apply them to their life as they see fit. We can all learn from each other, which is the beauty and necessity of discussion.

[@scaryguppy1071]

The married guy is what I would consider perfect husband material, what dedication.

[@krystalharris1259]

I think that the dedication and the responsibility I would have many people that have turn to polygamy don't actually have anymore. It's something that they did not have in their monogamous relationship. Like the lady in Orange and the guy in the black shirt the white man, like they had both been in monogamous relationships. But maybe they chose the wrong person to be in a relationship with, and that made them answer the question the way that they did. About going to the other side and becoming monogamous again.

[@basicpenguin3844]

Idk he seems like your typical christian guy. Dont know if I'd want a guy like that.

[@koral-xv8mg]

Ikr

[@scaryguppy1071]

Basic Penguin yeah I couldn’t be with a Christian. But i don’t think people like that have to be Christian. I’m like that and I’m more Buddhist than anything. I didn’t know that guys like him even existed

[@peterdo1513]

hey ;^)

[@hussainzakir1]

In the love question, I noticed the mono group talked about the other person and the poly group talked primarily about themselves.

[@alexj4j]

Wow , I didn’t even notice that 🤔. That’s put a lot into perspective

[@ChibiKawaii3]

It shows a lot, imo

[@bcsscooter]

Why should I love you if you don't love you? You know yourself better than anyone. But I do agree with your statement.

[@hussainzakir1]

There is no suggestion that people in the mono group don't love themselves, I mean that's what Snapchats for. A more interesting reflection would be reviewing the levels at which people love themselves.

[@jnguyen1752]

Interesting perspective .. I didn’t catch that

[@rayaann8626]

I couldn’t imagine having an open/polyamorous relationship but it’s really interesting to hear the other side

[@pnikitapurple8660]

Yesss we stan respectful comments

[@terrinarobinson7781]

You had us in the first half, not gonna lie

[@myacole1272]

@@terrinarobinson7781 how

[@terrinarobinson7781]

@@myacole1272 I thought Raya Ann was going to say something negative about open/polymerous relationship but she didn't

[@dollarchange2917]

Hi, where are you from?

[@AubreeSueArt]

I’ve always felt like there is something precious and sacred about being special and the “only one” to my husband. It’s beautiful to be loved so deeply and be so committed to that there are things we only do and have with each other.

[@SomeOutsider]

I agree, it is precious to have your person and want to nurture and be exclusive to them. Imho poly relationships disregard everything that’s sacred about monogamy. I find that mono people tend to think about the other person and their happiness whereas with poly it’s more so how it makes the recipient of poly feel.

[@1camry]

nerd

[@youtubecommentator6023]

I agree with this as well. I feel like there is a lack of commitment with polyamorous relationships and that there is a lack of self-control/self-discpline. Personally it feels to me that polyamorous see people more as objects. They like a few things about this person so they sleep with them, they like this thing about this person so they sleep with that person. The one woman talked about having an open relationship with her partner so that they both are free to go out and find people that cater to THEIR wants and needs so they don't have to cater to each others wants and needs. But how do they progress or further their relationship if there are no expectations of any kind? For a relationship to get stronger, you have to go through difficult times. You have to talk to each other and work through things. There doesn't seem to be much that is difficult in a polyamorous relationship so I don't know how their relationship progresses.

[@jordy_nn]

​@@1camry I pity you

[@JB-mh5xy]

@@youtubecommentator6023 Yep. It really feels like poly people are constantly asking "What can this person do for me? How can I add them to my life so that I benefit?" With monogamous relationships, we value what we can do for each other. We value how we can help uplift and support our partner. It's not "me, me, me". Poly people just seem very self-absorbed.

[@raymondmorehouse]

This reinforces my suspicion that our society has lost track of a valuable category: friendship.

[@richwedge4377]

Raymond Morehouse brilliant point!

[@lar.8168]

That's so true, unfortunately. Good point tho

[@TheBoeboe]

... how??

[@XxxX-yq9we]

@@TheBoeboe because people don't value friendships like they do with romantic relationships. People believe friendships are lower than romance simply because they think friendships aren't as intimate

[@sydney6818]

i personally like friendship more than relationships. friendships have the opportunity to truly last forever.

[@funguslord8202]

I don’t think I will ever understood polygamy, but I respect someone’s ability to choose.

[@lunar.lullabiess]

Polygamy is slightly different to Polyamory. Polygamy is the act of marrying several people, so one has more than one spouse. Polyamory is the ability to form deep, meaningful connections with more than one individual; these dynamics can manifest in many ways. As they stated here, you can have a Primary to whom you are married, but you might also have an asexual relationship with someone else, or an emotional & physical relationship with someone else, or maybe you form a triad. There's a million different possible dynamics, but the underlying fact is that you share a meaningful connection.

[@ifiwsaflowridbearose]

@@lunar.lullabiess Probably should also point out that Polygamy is illegal in the United States. Polyamorous relationships, on the other hand, are not.

[@neko7936]

Polyamoury is in nature selfish. You are diminishing the other person in some way. You can't have as much love for the person if ur dishing out some to the side...

[@sebastianmartinez5508]

It isnt selfish if everyone is in the same. If we are a throuplr we are on the same situation, we are dividing our love in two, but we are also receiving two divide loves. Everyone is giving two halves and receiving two halves. An equivalente exchange like in monogamy

[@neko7936]

@@lukekneubuehl3109 I b eleive that if you are not giving 100% to the person you love even if there is another.... giving 50% is not all of you're love to a person... doesn't someone have a right to 100 percent of someone's love?

[@freshpinoyboii1707]

I’m sorry, but the Matt guy reminds me of the stereotypical guy in the rom com movie where he cheats on the main character and makes some weird spiritual reason why and he would consider it not cheating lmao

[@INC408]

LOL accurate!

[@pepcidbaby42]

exactly

[@tshepiibanda7768]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@coffeepandacat]

he seems sleazy and empty on the inside

[@Femme99]

The difference with polyamory though is that there’s no reason to cheat. It’s already out in the open and okay, no reason to lie

[@complicatrix7602]

sex isn't 100% necessary for a relationship. it is for some people, but not for all. you just have to talk about it.

[@finthehuman3649]

I think the red head woman and the curly haired woman spoke very sensibly and really thought about their answers. I truly understood what they were saying and they made me think about things I wouldn't ordinarily think about, despite being on two different sides. These talks really open people's minds and bring completely different perspectives into light. Its really nice.

[@zinov3]

FinTheHuman I kind of get the feeling that the two males were followers.. they hesitated a lot on a lot of things.. they didn't know what they actually felt.. they just didn't want to look like the odd ones out.. they were never the first ones to move.. always the last.. The woman in orange seems like she thinks she is there to mediate.. she is well spoken, she sounds intelligent.. but she wants to be in charge and always has something to say.. though I do have to say that she earned my respect by knowing exactly who she is and what she is about.. however, she missed the mark with the animal comparison.. some animals mate for life and if their partner dies, they stay solo until they also die.. Both sides have good points though.. but as they say, you have to work hard for the best things in your life.. the whole open relationship thing seems like an excuse not to commit.. and that is what it is.. a commitment.. to one person.. to love them above everyone else.. yea, you can love multiple people.. and be attracted to multiple people too.. but it says something about how strong your love for that 1 person is when you allow them to be your whole world.. it's all about commitment.. some can commit.. some cant.. their choice.. but I feel that those who can't are missing out on knowing how deep the well of love runs when you focus it all on one partner..

[@makaylawade1527]

The curly haired lady has a youtube channel (Shan Boody) she talks about her open relationship along with her partner..you should check them out I found them interesting..

[@awizard9835]

shan boody!

[@iamamused]

zinov3 You are saying those who "can't" as opposed to those who choose not to. If someone can't commit then they don't have a choice. Some people are willing to commit and some aren't. Two of the polyamorous participants in this video showed and expressed a willingness to consider monogamy in response to the "go to the other side" question. To me, it's inane for someone outside of a relationship to judge the depth of love felt and given within that relationship, and even more so to then compare it to that of other relationships. If two people are in a monogamous relationship for 6 years (married or not) and one of them dies, is the depth of their love greater or lesser than that of a polyamorous or open relationship that lasts 18 years? Is it even worth it to try and measure? I would say...not really Life is certainly about making choices and with every choice we miss out on something. Polyamorous people are missing out on knowing how deep that well runs but that simply means they will not know for sure. The well of love in their polyamorous relationship might run just as deep. It's all quite subjective and so it's impossible to tell However, I think the hope would be that the members of the relationship, whatever its structure might be, are not worried the least bit about what they're missing out on. That's usually a good sign

[@writersblock26]

Meh…she’s mostly thoughtful and well-spoken, but she also made some unfair assumptions about monogamous people, such as suggesting they engage in monogamy primarily because they were taught to do so. Do some partners in monogamous relationships operate the way they do solely because of societal expectations? Sure, obviously. But to imply that monogamy is only a social construct is somewhat dismissive. As an ace myself, I think polyamory and monogamy can better be thought of as orientation instead of mere practices.

[@lunaoliveira7965]

Woooow loved the redhead answering how monogamy isn’t easy

[@stratocheese]

They are all very eloquent in how they express their thoughts and feelings and I learned a lot from this discussion because of how they all speak

[@onzah3515]

If it isn’t easy and we must put in effort doesn’t that indicate it’s not how things are supposed to be? Since the dawn of time, even in the animal kingdom STILL “polygamy” rules. It’s just the way it is and will always be we can’t change human instinct. All we’re doing is suppressing it. But for what? Simply to not hurt feelings that’s why. But that doesn’t subside the fact that polygamy is how biology intended things to be.

[@TheBunny04]

I was like Yass girl!! hahah. It was just so well said. I do see the point that the other girl had, but the redhead's response just really hit home for a reason

[@DoodleDoo2]

Onzah if we were all “suppressing” our want to be in a polygamous relationship don’t you think there would be high suicide rates and depression among everybody because we are repressing a part of ourselves and don’t you think there would be riots and discussions regarding this? Oh yeah and to poke holes in ur argument, there are many animals such as penguins who have mates for life, which means being in a monogamous relationship for the rest of their lives so no it’s not normal in every animal kingdom. I don’t care if you believe polygamy is the next thing since sliced bread, but don’t go around telling people who don’t want to be polyamorous that we are “suppressing” a part of ourselves and we are naturally meant to have many partners. You aren’t helping your case.

[@onzah3515]

Rubaba Rehman it is wired into mans brain. You can’t “unwire” that. That’s why people cheat. You can’t suppress animalístic urges. They will always remain

[@shling3226]

Jealousy is a valid human emotion, it shouldn't be stigmatized. Its healthy to feel jealousy just as it is to feel sadness.

[@hadassah6563]

I agree. Envy is the bad one. It means that you want to TAKE somthing that someone else has, because you want it. Or maybe just because you don't want them to have it. But jealously is wanting the same thing, or somthing similar, someone else has.

[@krystalharris1259]

Agreed

[@aquilaaltaire]

Agree. It's how people process jealousy that can make it good or bad.

[@alexmoseley2962]

Aisling Duff I don’t think polyamorous people want to invalidate jealousy, just call it what it is: a negative and destructive emotion. It’s okay to feel it, it not okay to let that feeling hurt those you love.

[@tamtamr9081]

thank you for this!

[@gabrielmedina2480]

The monogamous guy is awesome! It's really inspirational to see someone constantly strive to more perfectly love their spouse! I'm a college student -- I hope I can love like he does one day

[@ltr1745]

Get as much as coochie you can. Don't waste time on one.

[@Arniqua]

I am a very monogamous person but hey, I do feel complete by myself.. like come on, you don't have to have a partner to feel complete!

[@wildflower9921]

Agreed! Btw I love your profile pic :)

[@ARMYFOREVER-ez5wc]

Good point! I couldn't help but notice your pfp. Do you have a favorite song from the album?

[@JourneyToJustice-withT]

Fact

[@bangtwitterandtwicetagram830]

Love your pfp 💜

[@Ninoky]

yes!!! thank you I was searching for this comment!

[@addheading]

the guy is completely enamored with his wife and it's so wholesome

[@ayla_i_think]

Fr like I want a guy like that🥺

[@meghanachauhan9380]

Gay

[@darkxkitty000]

Cringy

[@amosp9411]

Ikr xD

[@tbdoriann7619]

@Redrustyhill what's codependency when you're in love with someone?? So men cheat by design?? A man isn't secure in himself if he doesn't have multiple partners?? What the fuck??

[@averageningen6188]

I think people should learn the difference between lust and love

[@ildikojuhasz3861]

There is such an important difference tho... i can be attracted to one guy so much that adrenaline starts to over take me when he gets near but his personality stinks and i just can't

[@blahblooh3007]

Exactly

[@yungmun4155]

Love is so much work and effort to build a long unique and lasting relationship! Definitely not love if you’re willing to multitask

[@judithfurmston3731]

@@yungmun4155 I beg to differ. Why limit your capacity to love?

[@yungmun4155]

Judith Furmston we all have different desires and needs, if the “lust” of polyamory or polygamy is what you feel comfortable with, then that’s great. As long as it fulfills you. It’s just not love. Not trying to value one over the other, they’re just two different things

[@chelseytk98]

There is a big difference between attraction and feelings. You can be attracted to other people without having feelings or wanting to be with them. Like, people are attracted to celebrities, but that doesn't mean anything significant. It's not a bad thing if you find another person attractive.

[@space3555]

Well said

[@eyetoeyez411]

I have feelings for multiple people. That doesn't mean all my feelings for people are equal.

[@annaj5095]

Loving multiple kids and friends is NOT the same thing. Lol

[@nathanhollow0]

@@benjeesilv1596 It's a discussion. Why does it bother you so much how other people live their lives?

[@cupcake7684]

Facts

[@breecamila6815]

Anna J lol I thought the same thing .. I’m like wtf ? Lol

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

Maybe not for you. More power to you. I don't see polyamorous people telling you that your perception of love is faulty.

[@marylinesperance6796]

Yes!!!

[@wiilover07]

If you are on you're 4th marriage. Something is clearly not working.

[@laurapenaloza9151]

If the person is happy, then what isn't working?

[@gaby6008]

or you're Ross Geller which is okay!

[@lg3153]

True. My cousin is 33 and on her 3rd marriage

[@kekw5153]

@Todd Jones too much details lmao

[@benugomez]

You can be on your 4th marriage and be monogamous. In my opinion, Monogamy and having just one partner in your whole life are not the same thing.

[@therealyayaa00]

Loved the redhead, she spoke so confidently and was spitting straight facts.

[@Naviineo]

Simply A. It couldn’t be straight cuz she’s gay/bi..... Okay i’ll see myself out😅

[@therealyayaa00]

Darkrai Gamer2907 so unnecessary.

[@Naviineo]

Simply A. It’s just a joke

[@Emma-kn6gp]

Simply A. omg it’s a joke..also being called gay/bi is not an insult girl

[@therealyayaa00]

Emma • never said it was an insult and never said it wasn’t a joke. i said it was an unnecessary comment.

[@peoplesrepublicofunitedear2337]

A friend of all is a friend of none. - Aristotle You get my point.

[@bidhilamsal6707]

"You've to find a way of making conversations even when you know everything about each other." The red head girl said some amazing things🔥

[@rizzamaeong]

You can really tell the monogamous guy loves his wife. He trained himself to not look at other women for her. Such a keeper. I hope i find someone like him..

[@evenmorenonsense]

For me, witnessing a variety of the different types of beautiful women helps me place my partner in my mind as a unique individual. It contextualizes my view of her and keeps my attraction to her fresh. I was with someone who could not get this concept at all, and she'd throw jealous fits if there was someone else attractive in the room - I had to avoid looking in that direction and even had to look at the ground if a pretty woman was walking towards us on the sidewalk. It was ridiculous. That said, it's healthy for a guy to break his habit of mentally "shopping" once he's with someone.

[@rizzamaeong]

@@evenmorenonsense that is so true specially nowadays. Romantic consumerism is taking its toll on people's faithfulness, sanity and happiness.

[@camomiletea7357]

if that person is willing to date you for 6 YEARS they're beyond a keeper

[@rizzamaeong]

@@camomiletea7357 what do u mean? i don't get it.

[@camomiletea7357]

@@rizzamaeong he said he had known his wife for 8 years and they were married 2 years ago

[@blahblahshutup6024]

How is nobody talking about the monogamous guy? He's literally so sweet and his partner is so lucky to have him!

[@chichi6768]

I’ve seen several comments and from like months ago

[@chichi6768]

But I agree haha

[@meghanachauhan9380]

Gay

[@blahblahshutup6024]

@melly nelly Ikr? If I don't get a man like that, I'm not dating lol

[@roy.shrestha]

So true

[@shhh.im.thinking3069]

Speaking of why you only have one partner, well the difference here is a partner that you truly love also has more time spent with you. Time teaches you about the other person and allows you to bond deeply. You can't physically spend a lot of time with multiple partners, which is why, personally, I think those other "partners" would be friends.

[@Tomb-Wraith]

You can't? If you can't, that sounds like a skill issue on your part. I spend as much time with one partner as I do the other. I also don't treat my partner in the same context I would a friend.

[@maude.]

i think this video mistakes poly relationships with open relationships which are both completely differents

[@beatrizpaz367]

This channel is just what youtube needs , it has healthy discussions and that's something that's necessary in general, talking about these issues and subjects really makes you think

[@tyrasaffy3906]

"we dont just love one kid, we love multiple children" ugh i dont think thats the same thing....

[@demydevil]

It's not. It's better so say that we love people differently. There's no levels of love, only nuance.

[@assyrianprincess3]

Exactly like you automatically love your children, like its not even a choice. You however CHOOSE to love your spouse

[@RomanZolanski123]

Tyra Saffy a better example might be how we can love multiple friends. Of course one can say everyone has a best friend, a primary love. But that goes for a lot of poly people too. For the record though, I have a mate who said clean out he doesn’t have one best friend, he kind of has a lot.

[@assyrianprincess3]

Antonne Turner Well than they aint good people

[@DiabolicalAngel]

It's not the same kind of love obviously, but you can split your love between different people.

[@DianVx]

Finally a video without arguing Comment section: hold my beer

[@enidmasai9384]

Lol have you watched the men's rights vs feminists video??? Omg I didn't even listen to the video the comment section cracked me up 😂😂😂😂😂😂..... *Check it out if you haven't*

[@dominickkamssu6790]

Enid Masai lol I just watched that and Everyone was hating on Derrick

[@dominickkamssu6790]

florence pugh is so beautiful ikr

[@Tiffany-ov2jf]

@@enidmasai9384 yes I just came here from that video lol!

[@chxrry_bomb3564]

The KZbin comment section is extremely toxic.. I hate going to the comment section because, even though I don't comment on anything, I still feel severely hurt to see these people say these hurtful things because someone doesn't agree with their opinions..

[@MaxJ77777]

Meeting a person who gave the ideal of being monogamous but in actual reality behaved polyamorous or created excuses not to be monogamous or created excuses to deny actually being polyamorous was one of the most painful experiences to my self esteem I've ever experienced as a monogamous woman trying to understand it and be patient to think his excuses were real.

[@maruwu7614]

True, there is no shame in either as long as the people involved are in an agreement and respect it

[@raissa2606]

the wife of that monogamous guy is so lucky :( his love for her is clearly seen!!!! i wish all the happiness in life for you two!

[@justanotherview3243]

I think he's secretly gay... 😅

[@Diana-dd4dt]

The redhead girl is extremely smart and I absolutely agree with everything she said! She’s very well spoken and communicated her views beautifully.

[@Bmolikeme]

Da Queen I agree! I would love to have watched her debate with the green eyes black woman. Both of them communicated their views very well.

[@adachiselas3675]

Da Queen that’s how I feel about Shan

[@toddlatham9807]

I agree. Its a shame she likes women now I have no chance siigh.

[@summercoles8168]

Da Queen when they asked the friend question I wished she would have responded with, "you dont have sex with your friends or get stds from you friends"

[@2junieb]

Summer Coles it's not common, but I mean... you can? You could have sex with your friends if you wanted to. Additionally, you can also have a relationship without sex, even if that's also uncommon.

[@yamahrahda]

Polyamory is not for everyone but I think monogamy isn’t for everyone either so just be yourself and live your truth!

[@noobslayer6915]

love isn't for everyone either, so go be alone and happy....well still have friends.

[@dalonfrench789]

There is no such thing as “YOUR TRUTH” that’s a made up term. Which makes truth subjective, truth isn’t subjective if it was there would be no real truth.

[@kimetsunoacademia3528]

That still does not give someone a right to give your partner a heartbreak

[@kimetsunoacademia3528]

And polyamary is one of the main reason people do divorce in India because people are too scared to come out to thier partner or society rejects them

[@notyourbruh]

@@kimetsunoacademia3528 I mean open relationships are not cheating as the other person know/may also be polygamous.

[@barrewithkiirsten]

It’s about loyalty. To give yourself intimately to someone and have it be intentional and meaningful and not just passing and then to have them look you in the eyes and say you’re not enough to satisfy me, I can’t imagine anything more crashing to the human spirit then to be so vulnerable with someone that you’ve given your body and your soul to you and to have them turn to that you and say with all the love and rhetoric they can come up with that they need more that they have to get outside. Human beings are at the end of the day spiritual and intellectual people and they cannot tolerate that kind of anxiety. We don’t simply mate like animals do we create lives together. And that is what makes our monogamous experience so important

[@marshclem2255]

I think you can be loyal to multiple people. Any sort of an serious intimate emotional relationship takes work and commitment, not just monogamous ones. It’s not that one partner is not enough, it’s that there are so many amazing humans on this earth and I want for me and my partners to be free to explore the ways in which they can connect with others. No one can meet every single one of your partner’s needs and desires. Knowing this, getting so hurt by that I think really comes from a place of codependency. The idea of an all-in lifelong monogamous relationship I think really glorifies codependency (since this one person has to be your everything forever) and makes people lose themselves. You become so enmeshed with one person that your entire ego and sense of self comes into question if they don’t dedicate all of themselves to you. I think that’s really unhealthy. I don’t think polyamory is necessarily the only way to counteract this glorification of codependency, but it’s certainly one way.

[@NadiaSeesIt]

@marshclem 22 it seems like a person who would think this hasn't felt the glory of long lasting and deeply held love. No offense but it's not codependency to be loyal to one person rather than being greedy

[@baoxology9958]

@@marshclem2255 Is monogamy truly a ‘glorification of codependency’ or is that simply your own unique experience and personal beliefs & feelings?

[@selfproclaimedesper778]

@@marshclem2255 if you can be with multiple people sexually and intimately than you are not loyal. Ya'll poly people are just lazy bffr. Want all the benefits of being in a monogamous relationship without actually committing to one person is wild.

[@doycookie]

Well I've learned what I should ACTUALLY stress about & wat I SHOULDN'T!!!!. Don't put/have UNNECESSARY pressure or expectations on things u CAN'T CONTROL!!.

[@sifsaabye2602]

I don't really understand people with multiple partners, but I also don't care. It's not my life. Do whatever you want if it makes you happy and doesn't hurt others. I don't want more than one partner, but if you want that go for it. Why should I care about what anybody else do with their life?

[@sunmirror6075]

We need more people like you

[@sunmirror6075]

@@eduarddavid7116 well if they say that they have multiple partners, you should support them and respect their decision

[@sifsaabye2602]

Eduard David I don’t think I would care if my relative said that. Yes, it would take some time to get use to, but in the end it’s not my life, and it’s not my decision.

[@pas-kal6823]

Then why you commenting on a video thats about this particular topic

[@emii5336]

The closest thing to me having multiple relationships is all the kpop groups i stan calling their fandom their gf/bf

[@FedericaGalli89]

As a monogamous, I don't feel incomplete without my partner and I do totally agree with what the woman in the orange dress is saying: I am whole by myself and my partner, althought he's extremely important to me and I'd die for him, only adds more to my life, but he doesn't complete it

[@exioz99]

ur a fuck up

[@elijahdavila3684]

@@exioz99 Boy if you don't shut your fash ass up

[@FedericaGalli89]

@@exioz99 why?

[@declanism]

i'm poly and couldn't have said it better myself. people in the comments keep making arguments about how the polyamorous people talked about themselves whereas the monogamous people talked about their partners. it's because with poly relationships, it's so important to be in tune with your own needs before you treat anyone else's.

[@secretlyclever4062]

That’s really how it should be too.. everyone should be able to say “if it’s just me from here on out, I’m okay with that”. That’s when you know your complete and then finding a partner and being with them is just gonna make your happiness that much better, but it’s not completing your happiness. Very well put!

[@evadim8446]

Redhead girl is just a very rational sweet and smart person.. that's what i can see..

[@zineba2368]

I just commented bc this comment is not showing

[@godislove6445]

Which redhead the chubby one?

[@w.j.castellanos8879]

Wifey

[@owenf2835]

@@imiguifurr uhhhggggg no lesbians are just like everyone else they arent superior or perfect or anything. im sure a lot of lesbians dont want to be called perfect or superior to everyone else

[@ballerinaem3024]

I could totally be taking this the wrong way but I felt that the polyamorous side was trying to push the idea of having multiple partners like that’s what you should do. Like being monogamous was bad or selfish in some way. That’s what I read from what they were saying. Maybe they didn’t mean it that way and there were probably things that were cut out of the video that addressed that. I’m monogamous because that’s how I naturally love, I can’t imagine giving a similar kind of love I give to my partner to another person at the same time. I can’t handle that emotionally and I feel that is an okay feeling to have. I am not against polyamory it’s just not for me. I can and I do love multiple people in my life but it’s all different forms of love, love is not just romantic or family related. There are many many layers to love. And I believe that every human has the right to romantically love one person only or many partners. It does not matter to me…love is love

[@azure9124]

this was exactly how I felt

[@maxsiehier]

it's cool to see how everyone got their own reasons for living a certain way. All of these people were open-minded and I think that's really the only thing you need; communication.

[@therambler3713]

There are objective ways of living, that's why we have laws against cannibalism for instance. Polyamory is absolutely horse shit idea that's been tried, tested and failed repeatedly.Only an infantile adult that's trying to skirt responsibility and commitment would try to resurrect the idea.

[@maxsiehier]

Yes there are certain actions that are objectively wrong to do, like murder. But I don't regard polyamory as objectively wrong because it has worked for humans when we were hunter-gatherers, which is 95% of our history. Once civilization became a thing it stopped working, many civilizations have fallen with the help of hyper polyamory. However to say that anyone who has the urge to become polyamorous is objectively wrong is to deny part of our natural human tendencies or urges.

[@therambler3713]

bravebeing I wasn't necessarily implying moral objectivity, that's a little more complicated. I was implying rational objectivity. Early hunter gatherers lived under crude and archaic laws that lead to high rates of disease, wars and death, the global population barely grew until the earlier times of philosophers like Socrates that started promoting more critical thinking. "However to say that anyone who has the urge to become polyamorous is objectively wrong is to deny part of our natural human tendencies or urges." The possession of a proclivity does not justify its expression especially if that proclivity is destructive. Just because you have an urge to have sex with kids doesn't mean you can express it.

[@maxsiehier]

I see. "Early hunter gatherers lived under crude and archaic laws that lead to high rates of disease, wars and death" that's simply a false statement, yet a popular one. I invite you to read a bit more prehistory. Yeh I understand your point here, but pedophilia is far less rampant than promiscuousness and pedophilia is far more destructive, it's almost inherently destructive and promiscuousness actually has no negative effects on a personal level, studies show. Having said that, I'm also against polyamory on a societal level because history shows it doesn't work. Which is your main point as well right.

[@plaidplatapus]

The Rambler lots of adults skirt commitment, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. i think for the people who know monogamy won’t work for them, not getting into a monogamous relationship is a responsible choice.

[@samanthajo1593]

That monogamous man, I didn’t catch his name, but it’s refreshing to see someone so faithful to their partner :)

[@vicolenaba223]

This... a bit surprised that not so many people are talking about him in the comments... his perspectives are the total opposite of how I have always thought of American culture in general, like how it is portrayed in the media or real interviews/debates. *English is not my mother tongue, sorry*

[@samanthajo1593]

Vicole Naba I live in America and I will be honest, I don’t know many men like this. Not saying they aren’t out there, but yes it is nice to see, especially since our culture definitely goes against this. I feel like the typical American man would try to make him feel like less of a man for living this way.

[@vicolenaba223]

Wait what, making him feel like less of a man because he does not have other sexual partners to boast? To people in a culture where sexuality is barely even discussed, seeing an American man being that monogamous to the core, not to mention always making effort to repress temptation, is just really surprising. His thoughts even sounded as if he was a guy from my neighborhood. LoL

[@EM-ch9uq]

I absolutely fell in love with his loyalty.

[@monteiro1345]

I feel like some of the things he said were bs tbh

[@fairyonice9504]

What I’ve learnt is that trying to force people into boxes hurts everyone. A poly person won’t thrive in a monogamous relationship and a monogamous person wont thrive in a poly relationship. But both ways of living are valid.

[@lvrsnfrnds8118]

Preach!

[@sweet_sheida16]

I disagree there are mono-poly relationships

[@gulpgulpgulpgulp5417]

Exactly

[@ghost-zw8rj]

@@sweet_sheida16 lol

[@ghost-zw8rj]

yeah

[@liu.calazans]

as a demisexual i roll my eyes hearing someone say that a relationship can't work without sex. Okay, this is it for you, but don't gale like it's a rule for everyone

[@justynjonn]

wtf is demisexual?

[@featheroml]

@@justynjonn some made up notion that someone made, its basically that your not se xually (spaced because of youtube filters) attracted to someone unless you know them personally. im not sure why it needs a title though just say your not interested unless i know the person

[@mittag983]

@@featheroml Saying this is way too long

[@featheroml]

@@mittag983 ok, how about i dont like you sexually till i know you.

[@eg4441]

@@featheroml they just need more of an emotional connection is all. some people can't just have sex with a stranger, they don't feel sexually attracted to people they've just met or recently met. takes some time. nothing wrong with using the term if it makes someone happy

[@amalasiri]

Those polyamory peeps must have MAD time management skills lol

[@doycookie]

Hahaha haha!!!!.

[@micaela5461]

I LOVE the red-headed girl. She’s extremely fair and intelligent.

[@basicpenguin3844]

You love her because shes pale?

[@micaela5461]

Basic Penguin nooo lol fair as in her arguments are fair and the way she respects others’ opinions is fair Not fair skin 😂

[@ZundelArt]

I feel like she was a bit off the mark with the sex life question, but that may be just my personal stance on the matter. I like how well she prestented her arguments though. She was not offenicve but did well at defending her point.

[@arianaalmeida7425]

Micaela Wearne or maybe cause y’all look alike

[@monica9070]

@@arianaalmeida7425 😂

[@kenna711]

The redhead girl is speaking facts beautifully. Love it

[@Blossom702]

I agree 👍

[@davidclinkenbeard6865]

kenna rose truly valid

[@blahblooh3007]

She is smart and sensible

[@albred5051]

No

[@mileywhite5384]

It’s not facts its opinion love can’t be defined . Just like gay may be wrong to straight people but to gay that’s who they are

[@abigailnicolekorte]

Monogamy is stability and thats what is so great about it and you cant fully embrace someone as your partner if you are stepping out

[@niharikar8097]

REMEMBER!!!! just because you don't understand does not mean you get to disrespect it.

[@euphoria7372]

Yesss

[@leleyang3088]

Poly is a disrespect to real love itself

[@euphoria7372]

@@leleyang3088 that's kinda unfair to say that don't you think? I mean I'm poly and I love every single person in my relationship, it isn't for selfish or sexual reasons at all. It just works better for me, it also makes me feel saver knowing if someone in the relationship has a child we'll all be able to care for it, It might be due to my trauma that I feel a child would be saver in a big family. We love and care for each other more then anyone else. The people in the video weren't the best at showing how we really are.

[@niharikar8097]

@@leleyang3088 it works for them?

[@humanishdevil6173]

@@leleyang3088 i found you in so many comments section, why hating on polyamorous?

[@Euphoricbryanna]

Honestly, I have nothing against polyamorous relationship, but it sounds so damn exhausting and I can only focus all of my love and attention into one person.

[@jakemiller270]

Bree To me it is the opposite and I can't talk to one girl for too long before they want to know who i really am. I hate opening up to people so closed relationships tire me out. Also I refuse to ever share a place of living with any girl cause that is an invasion of my privacy. So it's cool to see how people can be so differint

[@Euphoricbryanna]

Jake Miller that’s actually really interesting. Never thought of it that way!

[@emilymazer6170]

Fair enough! Like they said in the video it's not for everyone. I've been in poly relationships, open relationship, and monogamous relationships. And at each point in my life that's what I needed idk what I will have next but here's hoping love comes my way soon!

[@mackenzie3118]

That’s totally reasonable! I’m am personally Poly but that is because I am very much Career driven so being in a monogamous relationship wouldn’t be fair on the other person. Since I am devoting time to my Career, I shouldn’t force them to feel as if they are forced to be with me, when I am not putting as much time into them as they are to me. That’s why I personally believe in Poly relationships in my situation, so they are as happy as I am :) but your opinion is totally valid and reasonable.

[@nassira0508]

You kinda look like Miranda Cosgrove lol

[@lydia6452]

i love how they didn't just have straight people for the monogamous relationships. Jubilee, you go above and beyond working to make your videos full with diverse and interesting people! thank you

[@jubilee]

Aww we really appreciate you saying that! Thanks Lydia!

[@jacobstar2631]

lydia grace Though I do have to ask. What is the purpose of sex?

[@lexieboyd1074]

yeah I really loved that especially about this video!

[@gugutenberg]

Jacob Star Depends on the person?

[@octograp9603]

Jacob Star the original purpose of sex was to reproduce

[@complicatrix7602]

humans aren't "naturally" polyamorous, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing either. it's like a sexuality, you just feel how you feel, some people want a fully monogamous relationship because that's simply how they are, same thing for polyamorous people. no side is better or worse, people just live different lives. it's not because sOciEtY tOLd YOu tO bE mONogAmOuS!!! :/

[@DaSkyz]

What is natural? Or do you think there is no natural inclination? Genuine question.

[@mossywoodscraftco]

true except humans are naturally polygamous but only for breeding purposes so if they want to use that argument then they also have to admit it is only sexual

[@MsTriangle]

Scientists agree that people are POLYAMOROUS

[@jessicahernandez3090]

@@mossywoodscraftco then humans are naturally straight, and we are all meant to be straight and polygamous

[@thnkgodimanatheist]

Actually, society did, and does. You just have to know a bit of history

[@user-hb4zz4gh5e]

I love the redhead girl! She was so composed and well-spoken

[@starchannel123]

She looked like she was getting upset half the time

[@GoldenBoyDims]

@@starchannel123 looked like she was about to cry most of the time

[@pinkiesmidge9252]

"Why don't you have one friend?" Me: 👁👄👁 I do..

[@chrisevans6716]

Loyal

[@synth-_-5093]

damn dude thats so sad i have none

[@sana5426]

There is a difference between wanting to pipe it up with multiple mf's and wanting play legos with the homies/homie

[@meghanachauhan9380]

@@sana5426 it isn't tho. I've got 3 only 3 friends and every single one is my best friend. I have 6 wives, married them in the most beautiful ways possible and I'll probably be having more. Life has been an adventure with them. And I'm just 25 ffs. I dunno what I'd be without them, they're just so perfect in every way. My life would be a terrible boring mess without them. And no I'm not arab or muslim, I'm hindu. Stop stereotyping people smh

[@sana5426]

@@meghanachauhan9380 Dude I was not stereotyping you. I just said the love you have for your friends is different between the love you have for you so. You do you. If you want to have 6 wives go ahead. I do not understand why you brought in religion tho. No where in my comment I mentioned anything about religion.

[@talooshh]

people act as if jealousy only exists in romantic relationships. it exists in all forms of relationships, you can be jealous of a random person on the street or someone on instagram or your best friend. it's about finding ways to sit with those emotions and talk them out, and figure out solutions that work for everyone. at the end of the day, monogamous and polyamorous relationships are both valid, as long as there is open communication and trust, the relationship(s) can flourish. different things work for different people.

[@julesa1754]

@talooshh why are you not the top comment???

[@CatsEyes13]

Envy and jealousy isn't the same thing. Jealousy is the fear of loosing something or someone. You can't be "jealous of a random person in the street"

[@endritshala30]

Cat's Eyes jealousy has the meaning of not having something that another person has for example: I’m jealous of my friends shoes or new t-shirt. I have learned in my psychology class that jealousy can be good and bad, being jealous of someone when he does something better than you but using that jealousy as a fire to start doing better it’s the good side, but when someone does somethinf better than you and you just try to do things to make him look bad that’s the bad side and this works in relationships as well, jealousy that leads to more conversation and understanding is the good side but jealousy that leads to insecurity, no understanding and just blaming your partner it’s the bad side.

Beautifully said.

[@kuntrybumpkin8539]

Cat's Eyes But envy is a form of jealousy

[@DarkAquaVII]

As a person who believes in monogamous, from my experience in the past has ruined my sex drive, same goes with my partner. We don't really have sex that much. But the love, faithfulness, activities we do together, friendship we have and kindness towards each other is what is more important to us. I know it sounds crazy, but sex isn't important to us. Of course it's great, when we get that sudden urge and we feel comfortable about it, but its rare. I think every person is different, I don't really like the sound of polygamous relationships... but as long as it's not hurting anyone and not being forced on people (like my ex partner tried to force it on me), I'm happy for those people. Life is too short for us arguing over each other with what's better and what's not. We're all individually different.

[@jeanniemaycrawford4466]

I'll be real with you, being a family with kids drastically changes you priorities. Once kids go to college and you're financially "free" you'll feel like newly weds again.

[@hithere8140]

I think people confuse sex with intimacy. Sounds like you have intimacy and that can last a lifetime.

[@hithere8140]

​@@jeanniemaycrawford4466 i agree, i relate!

[@Guys_Love_Each_Other]

yeah, it should be discussed before engaging with other people.

[@bubbles4897]

Are you asexual?

[@sudhavani323]

Honestly, i was waiting for more questions like, 1. How would poly ppl feel when their partners have other ppl too 2. What makes poly ppl to break up. How far do they draw the line. 3. Does mono ppl really love their so's. If so why do we have cheaters or fall out of love 4. What is considered as cheating for poly ppl 5. If mono ppl break up and move on to next, is it considered as poly, why only many partners at a time is considered poly And so on so forth...

[@Tomb-Wraith]

1. That depends on whether the polycule is open or closed. If one my partners wants to add a metamore, then it must be approved by all parties. Otherwise, thats cheating. 2. Same thing that makes monogamous people break up. Differences. 3. People cheat because they want to be satisifed. 4. Same thing as monogamy. If you are with someone else without knowledge or consent. 5. Because words have established definitions.

[@DisKorruptd]

Dishonesty is when it's cheating, if you say you're going out to one person's house then go to someone else's instead, that's dishonest, that they feel like they need to hide that they're going to a place shows that there is an issue

[@nnisalrsn]

to answer your 3 and 5: mono ppl are just people that love one person at one time, they can fall in love deeply but can also don't work out at all and just ends it there. cheating is done when you didn't end the relationship but go out w other people. so yes, mono ppl can have a relationship with other person but after they end the previous relationship already.

[@andreasanwillis9871]

cheating is breaking a set boundary they both establish. in monogamy boundaries are set by society, like you cant kiss or have sex. in poly you guys have to establish it

[@mansimatalia9296]

Fab questions!

[@stephaniehugo552]

I don’t like to share. Never have. Never will.

[@stephaniehugo552]

Satisfactory Bagelfreund hahahahaha good one 🤣

[@medd0ws]

Amen

[@r0se1098]

And that’s cool for you, but people should be allowed to be polyamorous if they choose to be as well

[@eliza1826]

Lol I can tell, you don't seem to be sharing your food either huh?

[@mannyisgay8717]

Elizabeth Gomez I’m glad to see your troll face scrolling through the comments, it’s refreshing

[@razzytack]

I'm fine with polyamourous people, I just hate it when they treat being polyamourous as an evolved version of monogamy. some people are polyamorous, some aren't, one isn't objectively 'better' than the other. For some people, poly is best, for some people it's mono. It depends person to person

[@blackngoldcuttlefish3390]

Yeah. I liked the divorcee polyamourous dude. He seemed to get that it had more to do with his own specific personality and that it wouldn't necessarily work for everyone

[@attoooh]

Sooooo true!

[@raizin4908]

A lot of polyamorous people probably tend to talk about polyamory as an evolved version of monogamy, because that is how many of them experienced it. There are a fair share of people that start out monogamous and find that relationships don't work for them until they found polyamory and it just clicked, while there is, by comparison, almost no-one who experienced it the other way around. Just because monogamy is the default, and finding polyamory requires a journey outwards from the norm. With so many polyamorous people having to constantly fight the more "traditional" values and preconceptions of love, I think it's very understandable that some accidentally start seeing monogamy as old-fashioned, and that as a result some get a little more preachy than they probably should be. But you are totally right that one isn't better than the other.

[@katieanne4052]

blackngold cuttlefish no he was more like saying it was better for him, not that he was better because he was polyamourous

[@blackngoldcuttlefish3390]

Katie Anne, right. You're agreeing with me, right? Because what you said was my point. I liked him.

[@paperpenn9923]

This was really nice to watch. I think both are true and authentic lifestyles, I think monogamy and polymory are a spectrum. I personally am monogamous, wouldn't even be open to a slightly open relationship, but I 100% think polymory can be beautiful and is a valid way to love.

[@ReflectorCara]

Your comment is beautiful. Thank you - I agree.

[@queenawo8433]

The red haired girl is talking so much sense she honestly knows what she's talking about

[@whyistherehandlesnow]

Queen Awo yeessssss

[@BrunaSantos-dz8en]

Queen Awo right!!!

[@alialopatonok]

thank you very much for the kind words! you're all so great!

[@lilylocke3556]

*i personally only want to be in a monogamous relationship myself, but i don't have a problem with other people being in a polynagamous relationship as long as everyone in it is perfectly okay with it, it isn't my relationship, why should i care as long as no one is in harm ? it's not any of my business and they can do what they want as long as no one is in danger.*

[@kittyg1035]

%100 agree

[@janderson947]

So true in my opinion it could messy but I respect it just be careful it's something I'm not into but whatever makes people happy...

[@mela3889]

Cool but this is a public discussion meant to create dialogue so everyone is going to comment their thoughts

[@janderson947]

@@mela3889 exactly I just said mine and whatever makes THEM HAPPY as an individual i just discussed my view and I c nothing wrong with it.

[@TheBongSauce]

@45 Year Old Virgin I believe vastly majority do share; however, they don't want to be part of a poly relationship.

[@sarahfender1762]

When they talk about monogamy, they talk more about the other person’s value. And then I feel like with polyamory, it’s all about getting your needs filled and it’s a little more self-centered. No hate, people can do whatever they want. It’s just interesting to see.

[@koboldmaki6014]

That's interesting, because I felt like it was the other way around, especially with the conversation about openness and saying: 'What do you want, what can I see myself agreeing to, let's talk about it' instead of 'This is what I know and can do and you have to either take it or leave it.' But, as you said - just an interesting observation, no hate :) Cool concept either way, Jubilee.

[@ShayneScully]

Sarah Fender totally agree

[@catsclaus]

I don't think it's just about meeting your own needs but recognizing your limitations. I'm in a monogamous marriage and there are times that it is hard to be my husband's "everything". I love him dearly but I am not perfect. We are not planning to open our marriage but I can see the appeal at times; wondering if someone else could help to meet all his needs.

[@shimmeries]

I'm not poly, but I have several friends that are. I find monogomy to be much more selfish, and I admit that as a monogamous person. With monogamy you are putting a lot of pressure on a single person to fulfill everything you want out of that relationship. That one person has to satisfy your physical, mental, emotional needs, match your time, match your effort etc etc. It's a lot to ask of a person. And if they are not meeting your needs in a specific area, you have conversations and disagreements that place pressure on them to change what they are doing and how they are functioning to satisfy YOUR needs. Of course, the same is expected of you as well, it's equal parts BUT it is still two people putting a lot of expectations in one another. Polyamory takes off a lot of that pressure. You can still love and care for someone deeply, but maybe they work long hours and aren't satisfying your need for company. Rather than trying to get them to change their work life, you just find someone else who can fill that need. Maybe you are deeply in love with someone, you care for them like no one else, but the sex is unsatisfying for both of you. Maybe you just don't physically FIT together. Why ruin an otherwise perfect relationship because just one thing isn't working out. Take some pressure off of each other to be perfect in every single way.

[@Madithemuggle]

Koboldmaki Koboldmaki same here! They see value in multiple people and being open and trusting, and it’s such a beautiful thing in a different way. Also, “no hate” while calling someone’s lifestyle “selfish” is hateful, Sarah Fender, whether you mean it to be or not.

[@RelaxingUnderYourSkin]

Just because you “can’t” express jealous emotions in every situation doesn’t mean they are not there. A personal relationship is the only area in your life where, if expressed in a healthy way, there are no repercussions.

[@GrowGlow]

I love the way the one girl explained that monogamy is not "easy". It requires intention and effort but it's fulfilling because you get to put in the work because you want to. It's selfless ❤

[@654Tennis]

Very well said! It's certainly harder but more fulfilling in the long run IMO!

[@FaerieElethia]

@LowLinK big facts

[@FaerieElethia]

monogamy isn’t selfless, you literally don’t want to share your partner because it’ll affect your self-esteem; make you feel jealous, insecure, less Loved, etc. Not shitting on monogamy or anything, just wanted to clarify bc that’s definitely not accurate. Polyamory is selfless in nature, it’s the main reason it exists, to be unconditionally Loving and selfless towards your partner; allowing your partner to express and navigate their needs and desires without shame, without control, without guilt, so that you can see THEM be happy and healthy, whether it’s with or without you 24/7.

[@GrowGlow]

@@FaerieElethia But you kind of are.

[@dyavolo8448]

@@FaerieElethia I don't think every monogamous person feels that way. I for one just feel polygamy is wrong, for me at least. If you are polygamous and find that fulfilling, then good for you. I just personally don't like polygamy because of how much more effort it takes and how I have to focus on all these different people, on top of that I don't want to share my partner or be shared by different people. It just feels wrong for me, feels dehumanizing, I dunno, I get that it isn't just sexual and that's it's also emotional and personal, but the idea of 'sharing' a person doesn't sit right with me. Again, if you're polygamous and enjoy that way of life, good for you, I've got nothing against you personally. I'm also a very introverted person. I have a few close friends and that's it, and having a polygamous relationship just feels like way too much given how much effort you already have to put into one person when in a monogamous relationship. It also conflicts with my religious beliefs, so there's that reason. My God doesn't necessarily like me being in more than one committed relationship.

[@nat-oi2fh]

I think people use the term "love" very lightly. edit: everyone has different views on what love means,, but i said what i said. stream all night and epiphany by bts

[@soramakizushi]

Exactly!

[@uniqueanartist6792]

Yes to this

[@nathanbuford9263]

You should look up C.S. Lewis's book the four loves our watch the lectures on KZbin. He gets into the four greek words for love

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

I think people police the word "love" too much.

[@wcpjhs3022]

Nightcore Natalie so true and i guess u r an army and im here like “i love my fam 💖💓💕”

[@madisonlane9903]

I think it’s unhealthy to have your partner “complete” you. Two COMPLETE individuals make a relationship. Codependency stems from the idea of being “completed” by another individual.

[@crs7461]

I think that during our lives we made "more" by any loving relation we have I would be devastated losing my best friend and it would hurt just as much as losing a loving partner

[@soulsearcher7077]

crs I fully agree! Your partner is never going to make up half of you, but they will be an important piece in your life, and like any important relationship in your life (long-time friends, family, etc), their presence would feel fulfilling and their absence would make you feel you are missing that important piece, that your life has been made incomplete.

[@youtubeaddict5663]

Totally agree with you there Madison! I became a stronger individual from being in a long term relationship but I was born alone and I will die alone

[@veronicar5453]

Yes, at that last question Shan was so right. "Romantic love" is not a good teacher. I am in a monogamous relationship, we are two people that are together because we choose to, but we are NOT two halfs. I will be always completed by myself.

[@nnaranji7195]

well yeah, not to a toxic level but aren't relationships essentially about survival (speaking from an evolutionary point of view) and that would obv mean emotional support and dependency etc amongst partners

[@chunkycowgirlyeehaw]

I love how throughout the video they got more comfortable with each other and everything just eased up a bit. Everyone here is so mature and I loved hearing their input.

[@reichan5395]

I understand the monogamous guy so much. Since I've been with my boyfriend, I honestly don't find anyone else attractive. Like yes, I can say "He's good looking" and stuff. But that's as far as it goes. I don't feel attracted to anybody else like that now. I love my boyfriend and just want to be with him. But all respect to the polyamorous people out there. I personally couldn't do it but you're all valid and this video has made me understand it more :)

[@hummingbirdcake1902]

I am that way too. I don't feel sexual or regular attraction to others. I thought it might have been weird, since every time I have seen or read porn I don't feel anything until I pretend it's me and my boyfriend, and I don't get crushes on others anymore.

[@apenguinwithasign7572]

Hm wonder if he feels that way about you, who knows

[@nextbigthing2917]

Jimmy Is Tired I’m sure they have talked about this and expressed each other’s view points

[@thesubstitutescene]

Anni Anxiety same!!!!!

[@ryleeturk5207]

I feel the exact same way and growing up, I always thought I was weird wired wrong because I was never sexually attracted to anyone, even when I watched porn. When I started dating my boyfriend and we formed a strong connection, I grew sexually attracted to him because of the emotional connection. I would get jealous when he would watch porn or look at other women because I never understood why I wasn’t enough. We talked about it multiple times and he told me that I might be demisexual, which I didn’t know existed. When I read about it, I got a little emotional because I realized that is exactly how I am and how I feel and I was so happy to know that I wasn’t the only one to feel the same way.

[@i.nedelcheva697]

I like that they didn't try to change each other's opinions too much , they just showed the positive about both sides.

[@theresasmiley2236]

Hate how they compare romantic relationships and regular friendships. I love my friends but I'm in love with my fiance, there's a difference.

[@tawanakombora_19]

There's a difference but that doesn't mean your view on it is the only valid one

[@lizythewizzmeow2621]

Amen I agree with you even tho I don't have a boyfriend I believe in love even tho I consider myself bisexual I love whoever makes me happy with myself ❤️ and doesn't want me for sex .

[@theresasmiley2236]

@@tawanakombora_19 I didn't say my view was the only valid one. All I meant was they're totally different types of relationships, It's like comparing apples and oranges.

[@Anthonydu01630]

Theresa Moore Yes but its still love, its still a relationship, so why you can love many friends and can't love many boyfriends ??? The same way your love for your best friend is different than your love for your mom, your love for your primarly boyfriend can be different from your love for your others boyfriends. Personaly i cheated on everygirl i had a relationship with, i caused pain in people i loved and i hate myself for that, because i really feel guilty . And i sincerly love my last ex, still today after 5years, and she know that, but im just different i think, i need others women in my life. She left me and i understand, and its still hard to this day when i think of it, so don't tell me i can't love many girls.

[@theresasmiley2236]

@@Anthonydu01630 I was only speaking for myself, not you.

[@loza.-.]

the monogamous dude is absolutely adorable, i love him

[@maribelle7626]

a lot of arguments for polygamous were, “i love multiple people because some fulfill different interests or needs others can’t” and i get that but i feel like that’s more of loving aspects of someone rather than loving the actual person themself

[@JustWhattaRuLookinAt]

It all make sense to me now reading this. Most people don’t know how to love someone for what they are NOT and mostly love what they can provide.

[@zain4019]

maribelle morales That’s a really great point.

[@devrenee7223]

For starters, polyamory is defined different ways by different people just like monogamy can be defined differently by different people. (Some couples think watching porn is cheating while others don't, for instance). I don't identify as polyamorous per se, I identify with more of a free relationship structure which basically means I'm open to polyamory, monogamy and everything in between depending on the partner and where we are in the relationship. The way I think of it is that polyamory is the ability to love multiple people. Love not necessarily meaning sex but love as in an intimate emotional connection. I have the ability to fall in love with people because we are extremely diverse as a species and there are things to love about any partner that you're with. I've noticed that people in the comments don't like the example of friends because platonic love and romantic love are different, but I think it's a good analogy for the ability to love multiple people. I have two best friends that I've been friends with for 7 years and if someone were to make me choose which one was my "best friend" I couldn't pick because I love them both equally. I don't feel like one friend makes up in the areas that the other lacks and that's why I have two, I love the positive and negative aspects of both of them. I love the differences that they have because they are both unique individuals (as all humans are) and that I feel like both of them enrich my life in different ways but neither is more valuable than the other. I apply that same logic to partners as well. For poly people (or people on the poly spectrum) you can love more than one person and it doesn't make one less significant than the other and because you also love someone else, it doesn't make your love for, a primary partner for instance, any less valid or real. People are beautiful and there are different things that one can love about multiple people and that doesn't take away from the positive attributes and the love you feel for any one person. I hope this helped to explain a little better, but I understand that it's a difficult concept to grasp if you don't think this way.

[@devrenee7223]

@Oceanovo94 Mysia Like I said, different people define polyamory differently. Shannon (the girl I the orange) said that she identifies as being in an "open" relationship because she has a primary partner and others on the side. That's a little different than polyamory if you look it up cause polyamory literally means "many loves," so another partner would actually be another relationship, not just a side piece/hook-up, but they're both under the umbrella of non-monogamy. And I respect your opinion but I have to disagree with you about loving more than one person. YOU might not be able to love more than one person but I, and many others are able to. The same way that you might be heterosexual (sorry for the assumption if you're not, it's just that statistically most people are straight) and not be able to see yourself with the same sex but that's not the experience of all people. On the note of friends, when you remove sex (and possession/exclusivity in a monogamous relationship) what is the difference between romantic and platonic love? I compare the two because they are very similar of you remove sex from the equation. (love for kids... not so much lol)

[@ktellusastory1403]

Modern day monogomy (marriage) is putting several roles of an entire community on to one person. This person is supposed to be your lover, your caregiver, your child-rearer, your support system etc. Polyammory allows for these roles to be spread across multiple people. You are not necessarily dependent on one person, you are self-sufficient but also can rely on multiple people. Obviously, people who choose to have polyammorous relationships are critical thinkers about all these questions and aspects that you have. It isn't for everyone, but the least you can do is respect their lifestyle choices.

[@katmcc6804]

Monogamy is not “easy”. There will be days where you look at them and feel like you don’t love them, there will be days where you can barely stand to be in the same room. Love over time becomes more of a practice/commitment then a feeling. It’s saying I love you and I made a promise to you and I’m going to keep the promise. Monogamy is hard because it’s all about selflessness and caring for someone else, and in return you get someone who cares for you. If monogamy were easy almost every marriage would work out

[@sarahkilledaboy]

I think it's a huge misconception that what you describe in the beginning doesn't happen in open/poly relationships as well. It's not that poly people just say "next" when they get bored, they also work things out. I think what "easy" actually meant is that you have a set of rules and a definition coming along with a monogamous relationship. "We are a couple, because we are sexually exclusive. Exclusiveness shows committment." I think both can be true, but besides that there is a variety of other indicators.

[@diorbutterfly2558]

nah that’s not love then that’s just settling lol

[@sarahkilledaboy]

@@Allireallyneedisspace If you're single and try to find out which person out of a couple of people you're dating you like best, you're trying to put an end to you single status and gather information and impressions that help you make a decision. If you are in a poly relationship, you already have made a decision in the way that you allowed certain peopole to be part of your love life. Now you spend time with them just to enjoy it and not to find out whom to dismiss. You are in love with all of them and show commitment just like in monogamous relationships (minus the monogamy part :D ). At least that's what I get when I talk to poly friends or watch vlogs; I myself "only" have an open relationship... But I hope someone who actually IS poly can jump in and add their two cents.

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

Thank you for your honesty. I think the thing is that none of it is supposed to be easy - whether you choose to share or not. None of it is simple and effortless. Our only journey on this earth is to learn to love effectively. I truly believe my husband is the man I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life. He is my actual heartbeat in this world. I could never live without him. He has given me the gift of being loved and loving myself, and continues to do so every day. Does that mean we haven't been through the roughest times I've ever been through because we were together? Does that mean I've never questioned if I'm missing out? Does that mean he's never done anything to make me want to leave? No. Love is meant to be hard.

[@r0se1098]

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ can’t believe so many people missed her point. she CLEARLY meant monogamy is easy to choose. it’s easier to be monogamous than polyamorous. she’s saying it’s easy to choose monogamy and have monogamous relationships because that’s what society teaches us and accepts.

[@Ana_Lev]

Ryan seems very kind and humble.... his wife is very lucky.

[@kate4th149]

I really liked the polyamorous dude. He was super open-minded and I could tell that he wanted to make sure that everyone is comfortable and heard

[@beepboop4285]

I respect both polyamorous and monogamous relationships. To me, someone who is in a monogamous relationship, I never understood how people can not get jealous of knowing their partner is with other people. Then a friend I have who is poly explained how to him it seems crazy to only want to be with one person. I think at the end of the day it really just comes down to preference and what feels right/true for you.

[@romicor9]

You assume poly people don't experience jealousy when most of them do. They just take a deep breath, count to ten, and don't act on it because they don't want anyone to suffer because of their negative feeling. It would be great if monogamous people could do the same, but there are couples out there who think that being jealous is the same as showing love.

[@toobad9295]

nahh it comes down to fear of commitment lmao

[@kenbang466]

You deserve more likes. 😂 I have been in a poly relationship twice. I tried it and it annoyed the heck out of me. It didn't work for me. If others want to do it, fine by me. But please tell someone who you want to be with beforehand. And it's not just about jealousy, honestly jealousy happens in poly relationships too. Me, I just rather be with one person. I don't even feel attraction and so on to people until after I'm with them usually (probably weird). And being with other people 😂 just wouldn't make me happy. Might be a weird reference. But in a game the person I wanted my character to be with split into two. They were completely the same and so on. And immediately I'm like um...no thanks 😂 can they just go back to being one. And if not, sorry other one that just popped outta nowhere. So even if it was just me being shared and them not being shared I don't want that. It made me know where I stood and it's not just based off jealousy like many like to say about mono relationships even though everyone can get jealous. And I'm sure those in poly relationships feel the same. So they do what they want and I do what I want. As long as nobody is getting hurt, do you.

[@toobad9295]

Macaroni and cheese you do realise that not everyone on this planet is a jealous type or insecure enough to be a jealous type right?

[@USMCLP]

@Romi C Are you in the most people’s heads who do polygamy to know how jealous they are?

[@sugarfreeXcandy]

I love my partner and I don't even find other people sexually attractive anymore. Yes, I can like someone as a person, but that's it. I also just love the feeling of being all his, and him being all mine. Being loved and giving love back. Simply being somebody's favorite person. Sharing all our deepest fears and secrets with each other and not allowing anyone else to know them. Crying on his shoulder, him crying on mine. Being completely vulnerable. I don't want to share these moments with anybody else, ever. That's why I'm monogamous.

[@priscillam8903]

this is beautiful. That's what I want as well.

[@colbyebnet5085]

Priscilla M that’s what most people want. It just sounds like an amazing thing

[@micaela5461]

That’s so beautiful and I completely agree. I think it’s because you build a life together that is so much more than sex or physical attraction. You know everything about each other and you have a connection that can’t be broken by simply seeing an attractive person. I feel sorry for people who don’t get to experience that feeling.

[@meganp8766]

I think this is important in protecting people as well. Imagine being so open with everyone and having prices of yourself walking around in all directions. It makes you extremely vulnerable in a bad way.

[@kekw5153]

Ive been single for 20 years but i want my first to be just like your relationship cus it sounds very sweet

[@toutito2298]

Then why don't we just have one friend? *Well, I do-*

[@sparkle-face2993]

toutito22 introvert squad

[@kimjendeukie9529]

Same 🙌

[@Xteaart]

I have no friend

[@i.4498]

toutito22 I have zero! Lol

[@toutito2298]

@Valerie Rose well duh

[@katherinep1010]

There's a big difference between acknowledging that a person is attractive and actually being attracted to them. I'm surprised that didn't come up during that part of the discussion.

[@dontmindme.imjustafraidofe9327]

True. I have a type, but there’s plenty of POC’s I’ve found attractive as heck; I just wouldn’t date them. I can’t see a future like that happening.