REAL TALK: Weaning a Toddler from Breastfeeding

[@dianeschmidt17]

I think it’s really great for moms to hear that YOU were ready for breastfeeding to be over and that you wanted your body back. Mothers experience so much shame in so many areas that lead them to feel like they can’t do what they want to do because they want to give everything to their children, but it’s important for people to remember that they are still their own independent person with needs and that their needs are valid.

[@HapaFamily]

Thanks for saying so! ☺️ I don’t think mothers need to be martyrs. There are plenty of ways in which we are giving of ourselves to our children each and every day. But if we don’t take care of ourselves, too, then we simply can’t be the best parent that we can be... we’ll find ourselves instead feeing burnt out and stressed. Plus, we wouldn’t be modeling for our children the importance of self care, which is a critical lesson for happiness in general. ❤️

[@elifdemir6127]

So true

[@JP.-_-.]

I agree, for me it was the opposite. My husband and his grandmother constantly bothered me about when I was going to stop. My daughter turns 2 in March and was only breastfeeding at night, mostly for comfort, but I noticed she wasn't sleeping as much as she used to because of this so that's the only reason I started rocking her to sleep instead. Now she sleeps almost through the whole night. She wakes up once or twice but that's a big difference compared to the 5 to 8 times. My son however, was much easier to ween. He basically weened himself so this experience was much harder and much different.

[@alexlg9521]

I don't see why a Mother can't continue breastfeeding AND continue to care for herself. There is so much literature and support on the subject of weaning a toddler but very little support for those Mother's who WANT to continue breastfeeding indefinitely. There needs to be room for that too x

[@DaniOchannel]

"Go with the flow"🙌

[@jeni2974]

My little guy is same age as Mia. We are loyal followers and love your channel. We are a Montessori family because of you! Great job with how far you have come!

[@odileidysbasanta]

Well, I'm PASSIONATE about breastfeeding and I'm really grateful with you for sharing your experiences having such a big audience. I'm still breastfeeding my 3 year old boy, but just a little bit during the day. At night time is really my choice to continue with the breastfeed because it makes our night routine SO EASY! I'm not ready to let that go... 😅 I'm doing a respectful weaning, which is "not offer, not deny"... It seems to be working well. Slowly... But well... 😅 I'm here if some mama wants to talk with me about it, because the ones that breastfeed after 2 years old are under SO MUCH PRESSURE! At the end, is a decision that envolves only the mama and the child... No one else should have anything to say about it... Sending hugs for you 🤗🤗🤗 I imagine is also difficult for you to let go that special moment with her. ❤️

[@adrchav8205]

Currently nursing my 34 month old and didn’t have any plans to Stop. It’s such a precious time to provide nutrients and comfort. This time in my life will soon be a fleeting memory so I choose to hold on a little Longer.

[@odileidysbasanta]

@@adrchav8205 exactly! We are in such a hurry all the time! And they grow up so fast! 😭

[@isabelfaith]

Love the respectful weaning!

[@mermaidanalise]

I'm still breastfeeding too at 3 years old and I'm feeling tons of pressure from everyone around me to ween him off but it just doesn't feel right so i'm still going 😅

[@diveenuh]

Ashley, I couldn’t help but notice many of the comments are women talking about how much this video was posted at the perfect time because I feel the exact same way. This subject has been heavy on my mind the past few days. I started watching your videos when Mia was around 3-6 months when you posted your activity video. My daughter is the same age as Mia so I have enjoyed following along with the Montessori at home videos as both our babies grow. I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for you and the efforts you put into this channel & how how blessed I am in the way that it’s impacted my life.

[@jessamys91]

Wow perfect timing, I have no idea how I’m going to be able to wean my 20 month old 😩

[@contessie]

I'm in the exact same spot with my 19 month old!

[@margheritap.1187]

@@contessie mine is almost 19mo. I fear I won't be able to comfort/calm her as fast as I do now. Also bed time could become a nightmare.

[@DaniOchannel]

Good luck, mommies! I timed my wean with a trip away from bub when she was 11 months. I can understand the anxiety if bub is closer to 2. Xx

[@nylabintkheem7305]

I've got an almost 20montb old too and I'm soooo ready to wean her. You and me in the same boat ⛵

[@CaitHoover]

I feel your pain, I've got a 22-month-old who's a boob monster

[@ourtinytownhome-stead]

Thank you! I so appreciate when people normalize breastfeeding into the toddler years and night nursing. I totally understand that it doesn't work for some people, but it very much frustrates me that people treat breastfeeding as something that needs to stop by one at the latest, and is absolutely not something to be given at night after 4 to 6 months, despite the fact that we know these things to be untrue biologically and anthropologically. And I very much appreciate how gently and respectfully you approached weaning. I will be night weaning my almost 2 year old very soon, and though I think I will be taking a different approach because my daughter is older and able to understand "mama's milkies are tired, they need to sleep at night," I still appreciated hearing your approach.

[@bridzs333]

This.... By the time I had my 2nd I have accepted they are biologically wired for some things and if I try to sleep train or wean too soon I'm just going against that. We coslept for that reason, fed to sleep until she fell asleep nursing, cuddled to sleep after that. At 3 she falls asleep independently in her big girl bed and doesn't wake until the morning. It was much easier to explain that we are all not sleeping well at this point, its uncomfortable, she can come to our room if she has any trouble during the night, I'm never leaving the house or closing the door, we will meet in the morning, and I'm not staying there until she falls asleep because I still havent showered, I have things to do still. Once she was old enough to understand these we had no tears or issues. Then I keep reading things like they don't born knowing how to fall asleep independently, so you have to teach them, and do it soon because its impossible after 9 months...

[@County7210]

Thank you for affirming this normalizing. I’m a first time mom and sometimes wonder if I’m doing the “wrong” thing by nursing to sleep with my 14mo. As of late, with teething & especially the molars, he’s been fussier and I’ve leaned into nursing to help him sleep when he wakes up at night. He used to sleep through the night, but at 13mo started waking up multiple times. I’m starting to get a bit anxious about weaning, though this video and reading the comments is a bit reassuring. Every mother goes through it and every child is different.

[@DaniOchannel]

After a while I learnt that if someone's advice doesn't sit well with me, I don't have to take it. Every mother and child is different from the next. Xx

[@sarahleahy663]

I’m 8 months into our breastfeeding experience. My son for sure uses it for comfort and I’m a little nervous for when we need to start weaning. I’m just going to take his lead ! Thank you for your tips ☺️

[@IsomFierce]

This was so helpful to me. I am currently still nursing my 25 month old daughter who is a comfort nurser. I am going to try these tips! Thank you for this!!

[@jijijiji7290]

👏 👍 Yes!!! Perfect timing!!! I’m weaning my almost 24 month old after her second birthday and check up doctor visit. You are awesome Ashly!! Thank you so much! I’m writing this even before finishing the video❤️

[@carmincor12]

I thought I was the only mom out there still breastfeeding my 23 month old daughter. People are always asking when are you going to stop breastfeeding honestly I hate when I get asked that question. It’s easier said than done. But little by little she’s less breastfeeding so hopefully soon she will be ready to let go.

[@jijijiji7290]

@@carmincor12 In my cultural background, nursing until second birthday is optimum and common! You can go a week or so afterwards if weaning gets too difficult. I honestly was not planning to go that far and only did it diligently because of the extra immunity and less doctor’s visits in these crazy days. Be proud of yourself mama! You are doing the best thing for your child. in my case, I believe that cold cut is the solution for weaning because my daughter is still nursing to sleep and throughout the day. I’m worrying about how this is going to go, so I’m planning to tweak her bedroom decor to help her sleep without me and having my husband helping through the nights.

[@carmincor12]

@@jijijiji7290 thank you for your kind words ☺️

[@tiffanytoorie2937]

How did it go how long did it take I'm doing the same thing rn and it's a draining

[@jijijiji7290]

@@tiffanytoorie2937 like Sue has mentioned. The cold cut is the way to go. If your supply is abundant, you may get some pain. I pumped the excess but not as much ( just to get a relief) and eventually the supply started to fade away. I’m surprised that my daughter only cried couple of days. I give her hugs and told her that she is big girl and boob is for babies. It works faster and easier than I expected.

[@briannae7012]

I needed this SO badly right now. My daughter is 14m and sounds just like Mia. She is night weaned but she wants to nurse every 5-10 minutes during the day! I was hoping to wean her by 18m because we are thinking of ttc baby #2 this summer. Thank you so much for this video it's been very helpful!

[@michellezevenaar]

I got pregnant while breast feeding and it dried up my milk. I've heard from friends that the same happened to them. It's like a natural end to breastfeeding.

[@briannae7012]

@@michellezevenaar I've heard that! I was just hoping I could gradually wean while I still have milk so she isn't just cut off but we'll see! I'm sure things will happen how they're supposed to! 😊

[@michellezevenaar]

@@briannae7012 it took a while to dry up, it wasn't in just 1 day.

[@sophieclarke02]

This has been the information I have been looking for! Thank you! My LO is 10 months and I’ve been trying to visualize the end. This is great.

[@philippapay4352]

It is good that you were careful to notice the nature of the girls' nursing habits so that you knew how to address the weaning processes. All babies are so different. Neither of yours was difficult. It is good that you shared with others how you knew when you were ready to wean. It made sense that the morning nursing with Mia was important for awaiting Kylie's awakening.

[@tlllastars]

This video made me so emotional. I'm in the midst of gently weaning my 17 month old, and I'm doing somewhat the opposite. I cut down the day feeds first because she's taking solids well, leaving her with bedtime feed, 1-2 night feeds and wake up feed. I recently got her down to 1 feed around 2am, and we're kinda left with these 3 feeds a day. When I'm done weaning the one in the night, I'll go for wake feed and finally bedtime feed. At the point when you are sharing about dropping Mia's bedtime milk, I actually teared thinking of my owns' as that feed would be the last breastfeeding bond between my girl and I before she's weaned for good. I both look forward to it and dread it at the same time. Thank you so much for the video.

[@tabbbb15]

How crazy I was literally just thinking about this and was going to ask you to make a video about this!!! ❤️❤️🤗🤗 thank you so much! You are amazing! Such a beautiful family!

[@emiilionaire]

Stoped when my dauthter was 21 months, but only reason is that I am very pregnant and there was no milk left. Would have loved for her to contiue till two years but we had a great ending though.

[@kelleyryanvlogs]

You did an amazing job getting her that far!!!! Impressive mama 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💕💕

[@pagerkyma]

I have a 21 month old and am getting pressure from family to stop. I feel like in this COVID environment, I will continue. Will refer back to this later though!

[@JustKaelah]

Same! Mine will be two in a week. My original plan was to stop at 2. But with covid and me being home, I feel like maybe I should keep going? My boobs are already ruined so 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[@bridzs333]

It blows my mind why it even interests anyone beside mom and baby.... Also I breastfed my then 15 month old when we had covid and she had it the easiest of 4 of us. It was really draining for me though since I could barely ate as it was but we so got through it :)

[@TheNerdyAro]

@@JustKaelah you think? people say that about their boobs and their body... I think mine have changed, but I still find them beautiful. Only weird right after a pump if I use a flange that's too big for me. But I love my post baby body. Am I gifted or maybe just immune to society's picturesque ideals? Real question. would love to know other's thoughts!!

[@odileidysbasanta]

It should not be your family's decision. Your breastfeeding journey is something that only concerns you and your child. Do what YOU feel is best for you and your child. ❤️

[@ashleyanastasia7779]

Because of covid, I chose to continue to cosleep with my baby (I observed safe sleeping practices up to 1 year old). We are already in isolation from family, friends, and the outside world. I don't want him to feel lonely, alone, isolated, scared, or anxious at night. I don't think it would be good for him given the circumstances, and I did it in spite of the judgment and pressure from family members who didn't raise their babies from covid.

[@davidmicu3359]

I watched this weaning my first child 3 years ago-and now I’m back for my second child 🥹~Laura

[@divleb]

I'm so happy you made one of these Real Talk videos, they are very insightful and reassuring for us as mothers as well. As the title says is Real Adult Talk on issues that concern our little ones, and you are also so very well spoken the message comes across great. Thank you for that. On the topic, I'm thinking about weaning my 22 month old soon, and this gives me an idea on how to do it, my little girl is as you mention with Mia, she goes "keke" "keke" all day long (that's how she asks for milk; leche in Spanish). Timing is great for me on this one! On another issue, I'd like to ask you to make one of these Real Talk videos on how do you cope when you as a parent are about to losing it due to the huge amount of work you do, that being waking up early with the girls, keeping a schedule running, the house work that is never ending, your actual work for the KZbin Channel, and the e-course you created, the education of Kylie, being that you are the one that needs to create the resources for her lessons and you have to organize all her curriculum. I know you know how to find the time to do all these things, but are there times when you are so overwhelmed with the amount of work that has to be done, that do you lose it and some things just fall of the cracks (my personal projects are the ones that suffer most of this). Is there something you do to get back on track?

[@sallybee3560]

Could you do a video with your tips for the first weeks at home with a newborn and a toddler? (e.g. how to prepare the toddler for the arrival of the sibling, how to breastfeed and supervise a toddler, how to support a good relationship between the siblings)

[@staciemae44]

Super helpful. Going through this exact experience, and not sure how it should look since this is my first (she's 18 months now). All articles online seem to repeat the same things, but it was so insightful to simply hear how your experiences have gone. Thanks for sharing!

[@michaeldnolan]

Thank you for sharing! I’ve been wanting to wean my toddler but needed support. Your other videos have been my lifeline thank you! x

[@meganball8394]

Thank you for this! Anytime someone asks if my 20 month old is still nursing I say "yeah, I don't really know how to stop at this point" lol i'm jk of course but our journey seemed so different from what other moms I know experienced. It's an incredible and exhausting experience and I'm ready for it to end soon! Lol thanks for the breakdown. My take always from this: every baby is different and do what works for you and your baby. Thanks for the encouragement that what I'm doing is right cause it's working for us! ❤ love your videos!

[@kelleyryanvlogs]

This all speaks to me 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 good job mama! You do you too- whatever you do is best for you and babe 💕💕💕

[@laurenecday]

Hear Hear!

[@elifdemir6127]

Perfect timing 😲 Literally today i spoke with a friend about this. Your videos are really life saver. Thank you ❤

[@rachelmoya8676]

I remember being three years old and still getting breastfed. Until one day my mom came home from a day trip and I asked for milk. She told me she wasn’t able to give me milk anymore, and she showed me that her breasts had bandaids over them....and that’s how I quit milk cold turkey. 😂

[@HapaFamily]

Oh my! 🤣

[@vivianpolikar4446]

How do you feel about this method? Do you remember what was like for you back then? Thank you!

[@rachelmoya8676]

@@vivianpolikar4446 It worked! I’ve told so many of my mom friends that story and they’ve tried it as well... with success! I remember feeling sad for a bit, but I wasn’t too worried. It was definitely a comfort thing, because I clearly remember standing and being breastfed.😂

[@rachelmoya8676]

@@JamiesLife Hahaha, omg! Tell me how it goes!

[@vivianpolikar4446]

@@rachelmoya8676 I read sometimes kids can get impressed with this approach or think they hurt their mother. Glad it work well for you

[@queridasantos]

Thank you for sharing. I am an exclusively pumping mom who didn’t get the chance to have that breastfeeding bond. It’s good to get perspective from a breastfeeding mom. My little one who sleeps through the night (thanks to sleep training) is 10 months but I still wake up through the night to pump. It’s helpful information to know that you continued middle of the night feedings up until one year old. Now I have something to reference for the next baby. Thanks again!

[@lisap8800]

LOVE THIS REAL TALK VIDEO! I need to watch your others. Thank you for all of the detail you go through describing your experience- very helpful!

[@vermeergirl863]

So glad to see you add to this miniseries! My first just weaned about 13 months so similar to Kylie. Interested to see how any future kiddos will do. Thank you for sharing your experiences!!

[@BethanyMeyerWebDeveloper]

I love your honesty about this because you did a lot of things that are "controversial" (eye roll). I was unable to nurse but I still found this interesting!

[@HapaFamily]

Thanks! I don’t think that’s everyone can do everything in the “perfect” way... life is not a textbook and you have to make it work for you in the best way that you know how. ☺️

[@jadelightsword]

What did she do that was "controversial"? The only thing I noticed was that it's prob better to brush teeth after nursing instead of before, for dental hygiene reasons, but hey, didn't seem to cause a problem for the girls. Otherwise, things seemed to flow naturally for them. I'm just curious bc I haven't experienced any of this personally yet.

[@ourtinytownhome-stead]

@@jadelightsword many people consider nursing a toddler and night nursing past 6 months to be controversial, so that may be what she's referring to. Also there have been studies that show that breast milk alone rarely if ever causes tooth decay, so as long as the teeth are brushed well before bed, nursing shouldn't be an issue.

[@BethanyMeyerWebDeveloper]

​@@jadelightsword Many consider it controversial to admit you want your body back or to let your child fuss. Bed sharing is controversial as well. Let's be real.. every parenting choice is controversial. 🙄😂

[@jadelightsword]

Oh goodness me. Every choice every parent ever makes is wrong. That's why we are all messed up and humanity is doomed. 🤣🤣🤣

[@LukjanovArt]

I'm still nursing my 22 month old, I'm a first time mum, and I'm still feeding on demand (constantly because he enjoys the comfort especially during teething) So perfect timing with this video, I only really trust you and your advice 👐

[@nadikstrizheus5815]

The book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is really informative and covers weaning as well. It's by La Leche Legue, so very scientifically backed up.

[@mazayashah213]

Lol I feel so blessed your videos are so helpful to me ❤ especially with covid and not seeing people your vlogs make life more fun. Thanks Ashley!

[@feebaby88]

Thank you for sharing. I have a 6 month old rn and she’s waking up like 6-7x at night to feed. Great to hear that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel lol

[@HapaFamily]

Agh, hang in there! 😜

[@td5489]

Perfect timing I have a really rough almost two year old that we need to wean.

[@mirelisbetances5883]

Awww, I wanted to hear more about what it’s like nursing a toddler. My son is 10 months and he is obsessed with the boob so I’m already expecting weaning to take a while. Also, how did YOU feel? I hear the shift in hormones can make women feel a bit wonky after weaning.

[@srawn12]

My 24 month old comes to me whenever it feels bored,sleepy,... nursing making me stressed. Day by day its getting worse, as pandemic is restricting kids movements. I've reduced weight and my aunts(very elderly ladies in 70s) are asking me to wean off. Back pains, I've tried with dairy milk and it worked with a bit of nursing as a topping. But the toddler realized that it's a plan to wean, stopped taking the dairy milk. I dunno how to wean off and here comes your video. Thank you Ashley

[@Withinyoga1]

Thank you, I have a 16-month-old on two breastfeeds and I am starting to feel like the time may be right to fully wean.

[@jazzlynnelizabeth6189]

My son just turned 18 months old and I'm getting to the point where I'm ready for him to be weaned. I wasn't sure where to start but instead of looking into all the 100's of other ways women say to do it, I decided to follow my son and do what felt natural. This is almost exactly how it is going for us. I now feel like I'm doing it right and I"m not so worried anymore.

[@kelleyryanvlogs]

You made it so far! Great job mama!!! You’re incredible and have done so much good for him 💕🙌🏽👏🏽🤍

[@cassandrayuan3731]

Thanks for sharing, I feel better about nursing my 14 months daughter now and it is ok even I have to nurse her for a longer time.

[@nadikstrizheus5815]

It's very normal and scientifically proven that it's good for a child to be breastfeeding beyond 2 years old day and night. Get this book: "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding", and it has lots of information on breastfeeding!

[@anapunkt4418]

Was totally hoping for this kind of video! 😍

[@gingerbop157]

Can I just say, your hair is so lovely, so healthy and shiny!!

[@midorisour2844]

My baby is named Mina and she is similar to Mia! I'm going to try and night wean her in the next few weeks. She is two years old. Thank you for all of this advice!

[@FilmGeekLover]

Thank you for this. It has been really helpful. My daughter is 17 months and has quite a similar nursing story as Mia. I’m looking forward to weaning and I found your tips helpful.

[@elifdemir6127]

Do you do sleep time routines before naps too or just before night time sleep? And what do you do to get them ready to naps? Thank you so much for everything ☺❤

[@HapaFamily]

We aren’t doing naps anymore, but it was basically just a fresh diaper, sound machine on, closing the curtains, and a kiss! :) Almost the same as bedtime, minus all the bedtime-specific stuff.

[@floraresl]

@@HapaFamily First Time i Ready some Comments hahaha and whaaat!? Do nap time anymore? Mia is not even 2!!! Really? What time She goes to bed then? Mine do naps for like 1-3 hours and then go to get between 7 and 8 and get up around 6:30/7...

[@elifdemir6127]

@@HapaFamily Thank you! 😊☺💜

[@sarahchen3749]

You are so lucky to have babies who can be so tired during night and easily accept the change. My baby is so sensitive and he keeps waking up 5 or 6 times at night and for each single time he cries and screams and stands up in his cot and waits for me to pickup.

[@AmyLarien]

Thank you for sharing 😊 I'm curious, did you use bottles or pacifiers? The induced weaning doesn't seem to be a topic in English speaking countries while is always considered in many European countries if the baby stops before they are 2.5 years old as the natural weaning window is between 2.5 and 7 years old.

[@GildedButterfly]

Thanks for the video! Your hair is looking so shiny and healthy 💁‍♀️

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

Yeess again perfect timing i was just reading up on the topic a year in advance lol thank you for making these videoes.

[@constancemaymiller]

I'm curious, you don't mention using formula as a substitute to replace the breast milk, was this deliberate? I wonder because I used formula to cut out the final bedtime boob. I didn't get any advice to do it, it just seemed right... But maybe there is a good reason not to, I guess because now at some point I will have to wean him off that too!! Would be interested to hear your thoughts

[@viv419]

omg...i have been waiting for this video from you!!

[@melody_shmelody]

Love the hair color! Thank you for this-I am trying to plan ahead.

[@phae2518]

Thanks Ashley. My son is just shy of 19 months and he's always been a comfort nurser. Right now we nurse mornings, before and after lunch nap, and bedtime. I'm looking to stop the before/after lunch session. He does randomly ask throughout the day for "ham ham" (its an onomatopoeia word in my language for the sounds made while eating. Lol). But I just redirect him with a bottle of water or almond milk. I'll try to stop offering during his lunch naps. But ill be honest I'm not all too fussy about it because I see it as a break. I just get so much relief and calmness when I nurse because I'm mostly on my feet during the day. So it is relaxing for me. But I need to plan ahead and prepare for him to be fully weaned by 24 months. I need a break before the next baby. 😪

[@syd5350]

i’ve read and watched so much about independent sleep but i’m still confused, what do i do when he cries? there’s nothing on that, just place him down and say goodnight?

[@kaelatwede155]

It depends on the age. After 5 months old, they are developmentally able to handle crying (or as I put it, fussing) to sleep. When they are screaming, some parents like to calm and try again, others like to reassure their baby but let them figure it out. Each parent wants to do it differently.

[@syd5350]

@@kaelatwede155 Thank! Baby is 10 months old and last night cried for an hour while i was trying to comfort him. I’m just really confused. Should I keep him in the crib?

[@nadikstrizheus5815]

@@kaelatwede155, I don't think the science backs it up that they are able to figure it out on their own until probably preschool. Their brain is not developed enough yet to control their emotions and self soothe. So, they rely on us to regulate it for them.

[@kaelatwede155]

@@nadikstrizheus5815 I've heard both sides. The side I'm looking at comes from doctors and nurses. I'm not saying they are always right and I do feel some push an agenda but the other side is predominantly mom's who didn't like to hear the crying. I know there are always exceptions (doctors who don't agree with cio and mom's who didn't like the crying yet still believe in training). I think it's pretty hard to draw a hard line on this. I'd love to see any research you could link though :)

[@sazzyb1982]

I’m still breastfeeding my almost 3 year old, and am planning on natural term weaning her, although if I have another child I may feel differently! My daughter sounds like she’s more like Mia- she’s always wanted her “mack” and she likes the comfort of it more than the milk I think. Although I am still feeding on demand, i do tell her to wait when I’m busy, and she’s fine with this. We don’t feed out of the house now (mainly as I’m in UK and it’s too cold to whip it out on a bench!), and she only wakes once in the night now. Very occasionally she’ll sleep through. I can tell though it’s gradually reducing, even though it is a very slow process. If she stays with my mum overnight she doesn’t seem fussed she doesn’t have it, and she won’t always ask me when we get through front door now. So we’ll get there eventually!

[@ashleyanastasia7779]

Thank you so much for sharing. I think it helps to show how individual babies are! My baby and I had a rough start, but we now have a great breastfeeding relationship at 14 months, though he does less of it than he used to. I hope it continues to lessen naturally, and I don't have to actively wean him. I'm not sure if that ever happens, but who knows. Breaatfeeding is like a miracle to me, and I expect that I will be sad when it's over with!

[@thendralnirmal]

How did it go? When did you stop breastfeeding and how

[@acmc126]

I'm only 4 months in & I'm already struggling. Nothing is wrong on his end, but as my PPD gets worse my tendency to have sensory overload increases, especially at night. I've been told not to quit on a bad day, and I won't. But instead of setting a goal of one year like I did before, I'm just going to go as long as it's a healthy choice for BOTH of us. And hopefully not feel guilty if it's more because of my needs than his. 😥

[@mazayashah213]

You are a strong person and a great mom. You're doing the best with what you've been given. You deserve to be happy and healthy too. Sometimes I like to think about when my son will someday be 21. The fact that I didn't nurse him for as long as I wanted to when he was a baby kind of fades as concern for who he is as a person and his morals and values takes over.

[@FlutterFlies22]

I totally agree with the sensory overload! There are days when I don’t want to BF because I just don’t want to be touched. My skin literally feels like it’s crawling. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone in that ❤️

[@michellezevenaar]

It doesn't matter how you feed your baby as long as they are feed. For me BF was the lazy choice because i didn't like boiling all the bottles (i accidentally melted a few bottles by letting the pan boil dry, ooops) or pumping so it was the easy option. Near the end i did definitely have times that i was over touched and didn't like BF anymore. Thankfully she was already drinking normal milk so i didn't need to bottles.

[@vageeshas60]

Thank you! This is so informative! Have you got any advice on if the child does throw a tantrum when you are dropping a feed? Do you just help them through it but stay consistent and remind them they can feed later? xx

[@HapaFamily]

Yep! Empathize and offer support until they feel better. :)

[@floraresl]

@@HapaFamily I tried weaning at night but uf... she cried so much (18 months) that I couldn’t bare it... 😬... my little night booby girl... during the day I stopped nursing her around 14 months... but for bed time and durning the night ... I don’t even know how often she nurses... we cosleep so that helps but might also be the reason hahaha booby bar open 24 hours! Why should I not get some! Hahaha uf...

[@odileidysbasanta]

@@floraresl At 18 months it is still very small, you must be patient. The child does not understand why suddenly he no longer has the breast at his disposal. Remember that breastfeeding is not only food, it also offers calm, comfort, it is a time in which both disconnect from the world and create a very beautiful bond. We are thinking "until when? 😩😩😩" but the child does not understand what is happening. In Spanish there is a book entitled "La teta cansada" which is perfect for night weaning. You can look it up, but I don't know if it will be translated into English. Maybe I can help. 🤗

[@floraresl]

@@odileidysbasanta maybe her... but my first daughter understood it very well at her 15 months... I was very pregnant and wanted a break in between... but I’m fine with my little one nursing a bit longer ;) when winter is over maybe! Hahaha

[@autismenlightenment]

My first child will be born in a few weeks. I personally dont want my period to come back and I hope to not become pregnant again so I plan to feed on demand and then pump once they are older. That way they still get milk just not from my boobs directly. Breast milk in a bottle or incorporated in other food preparations will hopefully be a happy medium for us both.

[@emilyallen8436]

I'm open to any and all advice. My 2 and a half year old son may be nursing at his college graduation. Hahaha. I'm over it...if I'm being honest. We only nurse when he sleeps. He isn't giving me any cues that he is over it. I'm also a single mother and don't have any family to speak of so having someone else put him down isn't an option.

[@mazayashah213]

I feel for you 😢 sending lots of love your way.

[@zk.13]

My daughter weaned herself when i got pregnant, but now my other baby is 6 months she just started breastfeeding again, i think in my case its normal because of the jealousy, i don't mind it, but if i feel like i can't keep breastfeeding two kids , i might just ask her if she wants chocolate milk or strawberry milk before bed, or anything she might like (milk helps her sleep so even with some chocolate she won't wake up) i think this would work with you My parents told me to put something on my nipples so they look they hurt so my daughter stops, but i would never do that

[@zk.13]

My daughter weaned herself when i got pregnant, but now my other baby is 6 months she just started breastfeeding again, i think in my case its normal because of the jealousy, i don't mind it, but if i feel like i can't keep breastfeeding two kids , i might just ask her if she wants chocolate milk or strawberry milk before bed, or anything she might like (milk helps her sleep so even with some chocolate she won't wake up) i think this would work with you My parents told me to put something on my nipples so they look they hurt so my daughter stops, but i would never do that

[@svet_kv]

I wish there was an advice for twins parents too 😅 we are exhausted and with no help from family since covid started. It seems easier to continue breastfeeding especially at nighttime but maybe if we made some effort for some time we would have more rest at night. Not sure how to approach it though...

[@mazayashah213]

@@svet_kv everytime my kid has me exhausted I just think "omg I could never handle twins" 😭 I don't know how you do it

[@mariaalejandragomezgiglian4886]

Great video!! Does mia drink other kind of milk now? And if she does, at what time of the day do you offer? Thanks for the honest real talk!

[@Tashi-tect]

I will cry when I'm done weaning. I planned on doing baby led weaning but it is not ending that way.

[@ashleyanastasia7779]

Hugs I'm so sorry... I hope that it is peaceful and there is a silver lining.

[@HotnColdTV1]

I am going to try your steps. Just like you said “i fee like i need my body back again.” My daughter needs to learn since she is now 34 months old!! 😱

[@Jumvlbunny]

Hi Ashley, this video came at a great time as I'm trying to wean my 13 month old but I've hit a mental roadblock. She nurses to sleep so I've dropped every feed except her nap and bedtime feed. I know I just need to bite the bullet and change our routine but I just... Haven't. There's just one question that wasn't addressed in your video, do you know if I need to supplement her diet with cows milk when weaning? In my case she's a really good eater and doesn't like cows milk so it's causing me hesitation on moving forward.

[@HapaFamily]

There are lots of acceptable alternatives to cow’s milk (soy, almond, kefir, etc) that can be tried instead... but I don’t know much about those options and how they compare (with regard to serving sizes) to cow’s milk. I also know that there are many people who don’t consume dairy at all, or the child has an intolerance to dairy... and I’m sure there’s something that those folks are doing... I’m just not sure exactly what that something is! 🤷🏼‍♀️☺️

[@lisap8800]

If you search " Solid Starts Milk FAQs for Babies & Toddlers" you'll see a good article on whether your baby even needs after 12 months. Essentially if your child is growing well otherwise, your 12+ child may not need milk at all. It's just important to make sure other nutrient/calorie needs are being met. Solid Starts also has a lot more resources of how to serve solid foods to encourage eating- they have a great instagram page.

[@lucyblack8527]

OMG, how timely! I was just reading about this as I have been planning on weaning my toddler when he turns two, but really not looking forward to it. Guess it will be kind of bittersweet. Thanks for the video, can’t wait to watch! ❤️

[@HapaFamily]

It’s definitely bittersweet. 💕 Best wishes for you both on it going smoothly!

[@ankitaverma998]

Did you substitute breast milk by cows milk at bed time when you started weaning for either of your girls? My baby doesn’t like cows milk (only takes it as banana shake) and I can’t give him banana shake 3 times a day as it can lead to constipation.

[@harksontheloose6447]

Nursing #4 over here and I bet Mia would have been that way even if you hadn't "enabled" it. All of my babies have been different styles of nursery day and night. This baby is my first sleeper. But even my not Sleepers nursed different at night. (#1 @ 13 months #2@15 months #3 @2.5years. #4 is 3months old)

[@makinmehnurvous]

Do you offer cows milk in place of Breastmilk? I’m struggling with finding how to do this transition

[@SharonSolisw]

thank you so much for your honesty!!! did you need to pump at all when you were weaning?

[@HapaFamily]

Nope! It was such a gradual process, I never had any issues with supply.

[@kateg8658]

I am due going back to work 1st of February. All my daughter knows is a breast milk. She wakes at night 5-8 times and nursing all through the day. I have no idea what I am going to do 😭 she’ll be going to a childminder from 07:30-17:30. I want to continue with morning and night time feeds. God help me 😭

[@HapaFamily]

That definitely sounds like a tough position! I wish you and your little one the best of luck in finding a way to make it work. :) Try to give yourselves and the process as much grace as you can. 💕

[@kateg8658]

@@HapaFamily thank you 🙏

[@ANC_505]

I've been in a similar situation. I had to return to work and my son wasn't one to take a bottle, so that left me quite anxiety ridden. Good luck to you! You may already know this but be sure to pump milk during the day while at work so that your supply doesn't decrease or you don't end up with a clogged milk duct. 😊

[@swethajoseph97]

This video came at the exact time I needed

[@rayraya4840]

Can you please record how you read for bed time story. Sometimes kids get excited when I read

[@choriamanah]

My first was also a smooth weaning journey. I totally weaned him when he was 22mo, but the process started when he was 18mo by eliminating his night nursing. My second one is now 18mo but, just like mia, she more of a comfort breastfeed. I'm also trying to distract her whenever she asks for milk or not giving her right away. It's been a few days and she starts to notice that she can't always get milk anytime she wants it

[@jeannemarievitalicio2494]

Hi thank you for this video ❤ can i ask once you weaned did you need to replace the breastmilk sessio with formula milk? I feel like when i lessen her breasfeed session that shes losing the nutrition that she should be getting and must replace it with milk. Hope to get a response.

[@bluuprojectbaby9389]

my mom is kicking me out in two weeks with my little one, pray for me. i’m trying to learn how to wean and start working to provide for us

[@minnie156]

Thank you so much for the ‘real talk’ series Ashley! They’re super helpful. I’m trying to night wean my 14 months old now. I totally feel you when you said you thought you’re going to die functioning on zero sleep 😂 Just wondering one thing though. My toddler is also nursing for comfort and she seems to be teething and needing extra nursing at night now. (Like 4-6 times a night 😭) Do you think I should wait until after this teething session?

[@HapaFamily]

I would - it certainly sounds like she’s benefiting from the extra comfort right now. 💕

[@minnie156]

@@HapaFamily Thank you so much 😃❤️❤️❤️

[@kelleyryanvlogs]

We are trying to night wean as well! It is a lot of wake ups but I honestly feel like my babe is just doing it for comfort too 🤦🏽‍♀️ just trying to comfort and console and snuggle as much as possible and hoping she starts to connect sleep cycles and not need it anymore 🙈🙈🙈

[@minnie156]

@@kelleyryanvlogs Totally understand 😭 I feel like when she’s comfortable, no teething or anything, she can sleep pretty well. But when she’s teething or in my case, dry itchy skin, she’d wake up and would only settle down nursing at least 4 times a night 😭 zombie mama 🧟‍♀️ 😂

[@kelleyryanvlogs]

Minnie Sakuntala oh my goodness you got this mama! Praise the lord it’s just a phase and one day we will miss the wake ups and the snuggles more than anything 😭😭🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@kylapfan]

So glad you had such a wonderful experience 💗💗💗

[@hannahmoyer1455]

Wow, I needed this! I have had a beautiful easy journey breastfeeding my daughter for 18 months but now I am ready to start slowly weaning her. This video helped me boost my confidence that it's ok to want your body back. All we need is for you to make a book for our toddlers about weaning lol

[@tiaratran]

Thanks for sharing this! My baby is 16 months old and still nursing. I love it and want to do it as long as she wants, but sometimes I feel so done. 😂 no idea how things will play out

[@tiaratran]

Update she’s 2 + 3 months and here I am searching for tips again 😂

[@mmrice5688]

Curious as to the kind of bed you have that Mia would be able to entertain herself without falling out while you snooze. I’d love to try that in the mornings.

[@b2h316]

I clicked so fast! Trying to wean my 14 month old, and it is tough!

[@HapaFamily]

Hang in there!! 💕💕💕

[@xtnabcn]

Same here! So far I haven't managed...

[@juliehawat6735]

How did u put kylie to sleep after reading a story? My baby don't sleep without nusring.

[@siminkazi7980]

I want to start Montessori school is there any online certified course you provide? Or you suggest any institute for same .

[@rachabeff3212]

My son's three soon. Idk if we are done but, I know his dad is getting annoyed with it. Idk what to do. He just stopped nursing asap after waking up and some nights he doesn't nurse until he falls asleep if he gets comfy he'll just roll away and fall asleep shortly after. He nurses a lot. Idk what is considered too much.

[@odezamae]

I just weaned my 17 month old. We had a rocky start due to latching issues and ended in the NICU for jaundice. It breaks my heart that he ask and cry for it but i was just so done. It was so painful already and i always dread when its nursing time. They say it takes 3 days for them to get it. If it wasn’t that painful i can totally see nursing as long as he wants it. But unfortunately it wasn’t working anymore.

[@laniehrlich9271]

I stopped nursing my first nearly 2 weeks ago! - she’s turning 2 later this week so nearly made it to 2 years 😅

[@floraresl]

And how did it go!? How did you stop?

[@Sadiyatou]

This was great. I appreciate your honesty.

[@bluebear2301]

Good info. I would do the same but my 22 month old doesn't enough solids during the day for me to remove nursing sessions. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[@erinaa9486]

Whole milk unsweetened yogurt, fruit and veggie smoothies, milk, cheesy toast, roasted veggies (lots of oil--potatoes, sweet potato, radishes, beets, broccoli, brussel sprouts, butternut squash etc), homemade pizza, meatballs, pasta with some sort of protein (or protein pasta), lentil soup. Feed a protein-carb-veggie/fruit combination every 3-5 hours.

[@caitlin9823]

Do your girls have cows milk at all? At 1 we stopped nursing and switched to cows milk in a bottle and now I’m wondering if that was right 😂

[@mazayashah213]

I think I switched my son to cows milk at a little older than 1, he's almost two now and he's doing great 😊 i know dietitians want young children to get the fat protein and calcium from either animal milk or pea milk. As well as eating healthy balanced meals.

[@HapaFamily]

They do, from a cup during the day. :)

[@mustardcat-n4j]

My baby girl is still 4 months old, but I found the topic great! I was curious. i think my baby ist more like Mia... Though she is my 2nd child, I’m breastfeeding for the 1st time and fullfilling a dream. I think weaning off eill be tougher for me than for her... Stella sleeps with me and I breastfeed her half asleep. At times she asks for milk And I pretend I’m sleeping cause I realise she is using me as a giant pacifier... She just looks at me for a few seconds, closes her eyes and sleep... It’s so sweet...

[@mazayashah213]

Adorable! 🥰

[@gracegerdes470]

How did you get your milk to stop coming in ?

[@nadikstrizheus5815]

So, that is your experience. But the Montessori way would be "to follow the child" and keep nursing as long as she has interest in it, correct?

[@s731s]

I hate (but understand) that you have to do those disclaimers in the intro. Any chance you can do a cute fast forward chipmunk voice edit for that portion? Or something like that? Or if that's not your style, maybe typing it out for everyone to read along the bottom so that you can jump right into the content? ... just a suggestion/opinion! Other than that great videos thank you for sharing!

[@drn87]

Thank you so much for sharing your personal breastfeeding journey! Did you have any issues transitioning your babies to cow's milk?

[@HapaFamily]

Not at all, they both seemed to like it after having a few sips here and there before they were actually weaned. This way, by the time they were fully weaned, they were already solidly drinking it with no problem.

[@naorivas]

Does engorgement happen when weaning? It's my first pregnancy, forgive my ignorance.

[@thexlbsvlog515]

Thank you so much for this .. I have 17 months old boy and I tried weaning him off twice already but didn’t work 😌

[@newmoondarkmoon]

What happened to your supply as you went down to one feeding then none?

[@HarmonyandHope7]

Wow I needed this. I have a 15 month old, still co sleeping so he uses me as a pacifier throughout the night and I just found out from his dentist that his 4 teeth is on the brink of decaying😩 I had no idea breastfeeding at night would cause a problem😭 I feel like a bad mom

[@mazayashah213]

You're not a bad mom! My sister had dental decay issues when she was a toddler and preschooler and now she's a senior in high school who's thriving and has beautiful teeth!

[@a.e.s.108]

You're a great mom, lots of babies can only dream about co-sleeping with parents and breastfeed at night, they need it, it's natural, comforting and essential for feeling safe, loved and cared for. And milk teeth don't decay from breastmilk (they are called milk teeth as they come out in babies feeding only milk and they fall out when children are around 6-8 years old which is when the kids used to quit breastfeeding, still in many countries natives breastfeed until that age) so it's not possible that breastmilk can do that, more likely sugar from other food eaten during the day causes the decay, especially if he doesn't brush his teeth before bedtime. My 21 month son also uses me as pacifier at night and day and has perfectly healthy teeth ☺️

[@mazayashah213]

@@a.e.s.108 I'd love to hear your sources! 😊

[@panayotadestiny5125]

You are not being used as a pacifier, the pacifier is used as a nipple, not the other way around!

[@madisonjane9865]

When did you start cutting out nursing sessions? At how many months?

[@HapaFamily]

For Mia it was sometime between about 15-18 months.

[@shelbymace4997]

How did you get your girls to sleep through the night in their own rooms without wanting to nurse in the middle of the night?

[@hiral85]

Perfect timing really!!! Trying to wean my 22 month old

[@zk.13]

When i got pregnant my daughter was 12 months, she weaned herself slowly for 3 months i think the milk changed, but niw that my other baby is 6months she suddenly started breasfeeding again, i don't know if it is normal

[@carecree888]

These always make me feel so bad because I feel like I get the hardest version of all mom related stuff. My daughter screamed bloody murder for hours on end for many days straight 😆

[@alishiab5905]

Yep, my son is doing the same thing. And refuses to eat or drink anything else, not even water and he loves water