Real things people said during calls. I’ve seen someone close a door so fast.

[@rush5270]

As embarrassing as it is, that’s probably the most relieving diagnosis in the world, going from ‘I’m gonna die’ to ‘I’m fucking dumb’

[@toykthetoker7174]

​@@M.May195lmaoooo 😂😂😂 no shit eh

[@MightGuySevereLeafHurricane]

​@@M.May195😂

[@DwynTwo]

I'd rather be dying 😭

[@ExceedProduction]

As an IT professional people always get embarrassed when their problem was something simple and done in like 5 clicks whereas those are my favorite problems and I am always just glad I could help.

[@WhitneySt0rmy]

That's how I felt when I went to the ER during my first pregnancy for severe pain. I had an ultrasound thinking I was miscarrying. It was a *giant* fart bubble. 😅😅

[@HUNT736]

I'm glad my mom is a nurse. Saves me a lot of trouble

[@BPJD2004]

Same, but my mom's a vet, which translates surprisingly well into human medicine.

[@ratbastards332]

I grew up never realizing how OBSCENELY privileged i was to grow up with two parents in the medical field, one a PA and one in orthopedics. I didnt know until around college how much people suffer from simply not knowing.. its really odd. Im forever grateful that for my whole life ive been able to just pick up the phone or drop by my parents house and get just… unlimited lifetime health consultations.

[@sebastianrojas-ayala9162]

im glad i used to work at a clinic, i know nurses and doctora that will answer my questions or give me informal check ups when im worried about something

[@relevant1683]

Same

[@sladiewolf]

My dad was a nurse and retired now - but omg same here. I just call him and be like “hey dad…. Umm... Yeah, do I need to go to the hospital?” 99% of the time no. He’s only made me go like a handful of times and not living close it's a huge help. Love ❤ my dad and RNS

[@konfuzius8002]

I once had a bicycle crash and threw up red, but that was because I ate cherries before. The panic in everyone's eyes was terrifying

[@theGiver3]

Lol that's so metal. I'm eating cherries before every bike ride now

[@termain655]

@@theGiver3 some people just want to emit chaos in life

[@zoomzoom2276]

@@theGiver3 wait so are you bad at riding bikes?

[@minemaster1743]

He became and anime character that got hit

[@Tijggie82]

Same, I once was throwing up black stuff, but that was also when my parents stopped being empathetic about my illness, since it was all liquorice 😬

[@Piper_____]

There are so many situations where “oh. I’m dumb.” is the *best* realization you can have.

[@Shrekislove2024]

True

[@VexdGamer]

I love that at the realization neither side’s mad at each other. They just want to move on and forget this happened

[@crowdemon_archives]

On the other hand, it's probably a welcome break to respond to something relatively harmless.

[@deoxi3207]

​@@crowdemon_archivesYeah paramedics have it hard. I imagine they get really depressed if they fail to save a patient and end up quitting the job because of it.

[@OnBrandRP]

@@crowdemon_archives Pretty much. Paramedics just dislike it when people call in for genuinely dumb reasons. But it HAS to be a big breath of fresh air when someone was dead seriously scared but turned out fine.

[@mesiroy1234]

Its all the same persom😂

[@s.p.3587]

Indeed! ❤ Sometimes it is lovely how the world works :)

[@mirage_404]

The instant transition from "I'm terrified" to "Well damn. I'm dumb as hell" was perfect.

[@stickiedmin6508]

I've been there myself - I have a history of ulcers and of slowly bleeding into my gut so checking on the colour and/or consistency of whatever I left in the toilet became almost second nature. Everything's fine now, but the habit never really faded away. So, a short while ago, I finished, got up and turned around ready to flush . . . . . and . . . . . froze. "GREEN?" I asked myself. I remember I even said it out loud. After ten or so puzzled and nervous minutes, spent wondering about whatever the fck was going on, and how worried I should be about my *_GREEN_* turds (I had seen plenty of red blood mixed in with everything else over the years, as well as the sticky, sludgy black stuff that indicates a serious bleed, and pretty much every shade in between, but *_green?_* WTF, right?), I finally remembered about the tub of blue raspberry flavour ice-cream I'd eaten the day before . . .

[@mirage_404]

@@stickiedmin6508 Same with me, except with watermelon. I've had ulcers in the past but never that bad, sorry that must suck.

[@wilburnfowler4100]

Happens, on the daily...

[@WeatherWX]

@@stickiedmin6508 l

[@Forkontheleft]

Better to have a stupid nuisance than a real problem

[@elhamhady3417]

Jason's acting is great, he sold the panic and realisation perfectly

[@-RandomlyRandom]

1.6k likes but no reply’s lemme fix that

[@j12997967]

I was thinking the same thing: at some level my mind completely accepted that there were 3 different people in that scene.

[@DFPFTW]

I’ve said this for years. Dude is so talented with acting and voice over. Personally I love his sarcastic voice over with instructions

[@dawlben2247]

One time I released purple #2 because I had drank like 4 grape Gatorade in one day😅

[@blobfish4999]

I hate he was literally sweating when he was sitting on the toilet

[@danielbutler8103]

At that point he went from “I’m going to die.” To “I want to die.”

[@Ray-zh4pk]

Bro wanted to be Elvis

[@nuke_m4n]

​@@Ray-zh4pkbro thats wild

[@human3504]

I feel I'd do the same in all honesty

[@StonedtotheBones13]

Me in every social situation

[@HeWhoKnows777]

ROFL

[@thomasgibson6564]

Eating half a red velvet cake one night after getting stumbling drunk turned into a damn near heart-stopping experience for me the next morning

[@saraaaf]

I had a veryyyy similar experience when I was twelve and my dad got a black guitar cake 😂😂😂 I had no idea food coloring could pass through like that so when I saw black the next day I was CONVINCED I was dying

[@thomasgibson6564]

@@saraaaf 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dillongage]

When Mt. Dew Darkberry came out around the Dark Knight movies, I woke up one day to my dad screaming. It had turned his crap damn near black and he thought he was dying 😂

[@thomasgibson6564]

@@dillongage 🤣🤣🤣

[@connorstiles1001]

​@@saraaaf you know you can get the same effect if you eat a lot of beef jerky. I used to work for a garbage company and would usually take a bag of beef jerky to eat throughout my shift. I think there was at least one week straight where I ate at least a bag of beef jerky a day. I went to take a shit & it was damn near black thought i was sick nah just too much beef jerky

[@Hair4Thought]

😂 I worked at an organic juice cafe and had a customer call in very calm but concerned. In a very roundabout way asked me if the beet juice would turn his pee pink and stool red. From that call on I proceeded to warn anyone that had never had beet juice before. It made a lot of people chuckle but they were also grateful for the knowledge.

[@chaossmith3864]

It can do what to your pee?!

[@AlienInvader]

coming back from paris, tried beet juice in cafe right before heading to the airport... went to the restroom... thought i'd fucked up a kidney... but the color was bluer than blood should be so was less concerned than i probably should have been... or more concerned? either way, ended up figuring it out sooner or later.

[@bruce2090]

I love pickled beets and had the same thing happen. It's funny .

[@Emeraldwitch30]

Too much spinach can also turn pee very very neon greenish lol

[@oddballskull1941]

​@@Emeraldwitch30 makes ya look at Popeye through a different lense

[@EvertfromNederland]

I just respect the hell out of this man for doing all these bits by himself. He has to shoot every character change outfits etc. Wat an effort for 20 seconds of video. Pure class

[@stephenfisher6650]

I respect the dude and think he is hilarious and totally relatable but it’s not that hard. He prolly writes the script down of his characters and then films one character at a time for all his lines instead of going back and forth

[@Teenage_Mutant_Ginga_Ninja]

Just cause you don't see anyone doesn't mean they aren't there. Even seen some more behind the scene shorts to one of these types of videos and he had like 2 other people.

[@v4v819]

You do realize how every movie and tv show is made...

[@DrJay-vd9tf]

The realization of "Oh I'm just a fucking idiot."

[@Leo-sd3jt]

I love how relatable it is.

[@karazami6594]

probably insane wave of relief over him too tho😅😅

[@supersimon4922]

Atleast he realized it

[@Peter-ui6ey]

I do that every single day

[@tinamarisia123]

I had that with my son when he was about 3,, noticed tiny red bits in his poo..... So this seasoned itu nurse took him 🎉to drs with requested sample... bits of tomatoe skins... tomatoe skins! relief and stupidity hit really quickly.. 😁.. 🤦...

[@biggreenking]

My uncle went to the er because he was bleeding from the rectum, but it turned out to just be that he had gotten high and ate a whole red velvet cake the night before.

[@enderknight39]

One of the above comments tells this same story. Maybe it is your uncle?

[@scoobasteve912]

Guilty of this

[@wmluna381]

😂

[@bobmarley5454]

I ate a bowl of the new flamin hot cheeto mac and cheese they came out with... gave me a nice toxic red diarrhea. I don't think I'll gamble on another boxed mac n cheese again...

[@spicyjoeflaminfajitas]

Pretty sure I worked with your uncle. Or at least I worked with a guy that had the same issue…

[@monicamichelle2391]

I'm a cake decorator, and had lady call to complain that the purple frosting from her cake had turned everyone's poo colors. She yelled, and yelled and said she will never buy a cake from the store again. 😂 👌

[@briattnybrittany6843]

people are so dramatic and irrational lol

[@wmluna381]

Imagine that online review. It would have been one of those where you just know that person is naturally nuts if you read doing customer research.

[@Michelle020892]

You do know that this is an absolutely hilarious story to share with your repeat customers, right? 🤣🤣🤣

[@kerrynicholls6683]

A shit colour change cake 🎂, I must have this cake. Fun going in and out 😊😂

[@Michelle020892]

@@kerrynicholls6683 That’s right!! 🤣🤣👍 First you be the rainbow, Then you taste the rainbow, And finally you shit the rainbow 😂😂

[@McBehrer]

"Oh thank god, I'm just an idiot"

[@elevatormaniacgames]

When I was a little kid, I happened to have diarrhea and it came out red. It kept coming out red, and we went to the hospital only to find out that it was just red Gatorade.

[@eskeladder7751]

Bruh

[@rwill156]

I one time tried a blue slushy, the next day when I went to the toilet the water in the bowl was turning blue,. That made one of those enough for me.

[@deanfowlkes]

Surprisingly, the same thing happens to Thai chilis and ghost peppers. At our favorite restaurant, when the waitress asks for our desired spice level, my wife and I call it “twice hot” (ouch). 😂

[@freddie6307]

​@@rwill156 i live life on the edge and always get slushies with violent colors.

[@drm.himself]

​@@rwill156 It's just because of the metric ton of blue dye.

[@NahlaAndOlivia]

“NOPE I THINK WERE GOOD” *slams door*

[@dr.foxysocks2459]

At least he was smart enough to be mortified

[@idontknow164]

Assuming the worse is not necessarily a bad first response. Even if you end up with egg on your face and the classic "you're an idiot...but you're ok" look.

[@Ninjer]

Oh so we did watch the same video, I was wondering if I was the only one who saw that

[@Callidus7SSM]

@@Ninjer no need to be a jerk just to get attention. You can always just make a normal comment like everyone else.

[@yt_alphagaming7940]

I could watch a show of this man playing all the characters himself honestly 😂 these shorts are just gold

[@terrancedrakejr3641]

Or a show with him and Fenton would be gold

[@heleavesthe99]

Treasures

[@medadandmom]

Toss a few other “split personality” creators together like NoPanicButton. 2-4 people filling a 12-15 character show cast

[@andy34isabor89]

Adult Swims new show: LA ParaMed

[@thexredxjester1984]

EXACTLY!!!!!!

[@brandonstonge7513]

The third party guy had a sigh of relief because the same thing happened to him last night, he was just too embarrassed to say anything and hoped it would go away 😂

[@helpfulDeathgod]

ate an entire bag of blue tortilla chips and my shit was Deep Ocean Blue for a week.

[@mcdonalds12-w2x]

Was it Blue takis? (Edit) guys im just asking (Edit 2) why do you guys keep liking all I asked was a question…. Anyways keep going if you want (Edit 3) guys can we get to 1K… (Edit4) most likely last edit if this doesn’t get super big but idk why I got so many likes all I did was ask if it was takis💀 anyways thanks

[@irgendeinname9256]

You pooped out the tortilla chips for a whole week?

[@nthgth]

​@@irgendeinname9256maybe he nursed the bag all week

[@kachokako]

😂

[@S1rLagsAl0t]

Hmmm something doesn't add up 😂

[@Eclipse-lw4vf]

Honestly. I will always take having the dumb moment over an actual problem 💀

[@EnergeticSpark63]

hey

[@friendlygiant1507]

@@EnergeticSpark63what do you mean by this?

[@EnergeticSpark63]

@@friendlygiant1507 hey

[@robinquintero2351]

​@@EnergeticSpark63hey

[@mad_exx]

Logically, I agree, but my social anxiety says I'll die rather than be that embarrassed x_x

[@erickruckenberg8716]

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

[@McWizard420]

All fun and games till the ambulance bill goes woo woo

[@TheGreatSteve]

Happened to Clarkson.

[@jpjp9111]

Happened to me once....litterally exactly like this.

[@ComedicLetter]

@@McWizard420what’s an ambulance bill?

[@ryanmarbut1035]

​@@ComedicLetterIt's this thing pretty much only Americans have to deal with where a ride to the hospital costs you something ridiculous like 300 dollars an hour (not the exact number - the point is - it is expensive)

[@KelseyRBX]

That went from "I'm going to die" To "I want to die".. Very quickly! 😂😂

[@SpadezWilliams]

That door closing was smooth AF. 👍

[@maybacher]

first rectum!

[@certifiedjunk]

Not having comments with 4.1K likes after four months is depressing

[@xxCarlosPlaysxx]

​@@certifiedjunkReplies*

[@theroyalcat7010]

​@@certifiedjunk just let it be, what have we really lost in silent agreement

[@jdsciano]

I called my pediatrician at midnight because my baby was pooping blue; first thing she said was 'tell me everything she ate today'. I was mortified by the time we got to the blue raspberry yogurt......

[@rebeccarulo5823]

😂 I didn't make it far enough to call, but I freaked when my son had blue and green in his diaper 😂 My mom was visiting and said it was what he ate a bday party 😂 Blueberries and something else.

[@BluetheRaccoon]

Blue raspberry is a lie. Don't feed your baby candy-flavored yogurt.

[@shilohhighland6716]

@@BluetheRaccoon All yogurt is artificial flavor, but you and I loved it when we were kids anyway. So let them parent how they want and you parent how you want; in regards to yogurt

[@bcreech17]

@@BluetheRaccoonnothing like a little unsolicited parenting advice, huh?

[@y0utuberculosis]

Lol blue is basically the only colour your body can't really make on its own. Happened to me from a Slurpee that was basically all syrup...

[@David9o8i7u]

I like how he yells bleeding out of his ass isn’t common, yet the paramedic side doesn’t get offended since he understands patients are panicking and desperate. True professional

[@tibbygaycat]

Tbh bleeding from the ass, like, that's bad lol. I'd hope anyone would be understanding.

[@mpgodjr]

That's common sense actually

[@comradegarrett1202]

tbh the core of de-escalation is responding to panic and anger with calm professionalism at every turn. getting offended would make everything worse.

[@HopeGardner3amed]

​@@tibbygaycat according to my panicked Google searches bright blood is likely cuts due to constipation/hemorrhoids, dark blood see a doctor (unless you are a female and experiencing period like symptoms, obvs).

[@funkyfreshfella1041]

wait its bad??? shit went away after a few days but I swear I made a bloody mess at 3 am once

[@smithhamilton9286]

Dude is so incredibly good at making it look like he’s talking to someone else

[@alyssakelley4995]

This is why they don't serve red jello in the hospital

[@rainynight02]

They do serve red jello in the hospital though. Was in one just this last December and they served alot of red jello.

[@M.TTT.]

​@@rainynight02 not in the good hospitald

[@isabelpulley9660]

My mom had eaten some at the hospital before her c section with my sister and she’d started throwing up and my dad thought it was blood and he nearly passed out

[@MeachPango]

@@M.TTT. pretty sure that banner is a petty reputable hospital...

[@greenpiersystem]

​@@rainynight02 I think they only serve Red Jell-O when it's not a risk. Whenever blood becomes a question, usually they switch it to something like the pudding cups, which are owned by the same company. (So apparently McKesson or whoever has a cushy deal with FunPack.)

[@Tit-Dirt]

This man needs his own sketch comedy show for real.

[@ahettinger525]

he has one, just keep watching!

[@brianbru]

To be fair though. His level of comedy isn't being paid for to the level it deserves off of his KZbin ad revenue. Having his own show would net him substantially more income I'd wager. He's good enough at both writing and acting, so I agree with OP. @@ahettinger525

[@donnadoughty8036]

So true

[@ericcooley9407]

😂 why? When reality gives him such good material?! 😂😂

[@tonyheath626]

He does! It's called FireDepartmentChronicles

[@rosedandrea8332]

And here's my preschooler eating every green vegetable she can get her hands on because she thinks it's hilarious to have green poop. Her bright blue birthday cake last year had her over the moon when she found out it had colored the whole family's poop blue.🤣

[@teresaellis7062]

What a great way to get a young kid to eat veggies. "It will turn your poo weird colors!" Eat enough carrots and she can have orange poo!

[@fbbWaddell]

Future Gastroenterologist right there.

[@Jan-gh8qw]

Eat enough cheese and it takes a hint of yellow😂

[@christinebonner2210]

If she & my 4 year old grandnephew got together,the Governor would be calling out the National Guard for sure to stop their evil plots.

[@tinamarisia123]

😂

[@Lamina54321]

My goodness. Your acting is perfection!

[@punchkitten874]

This kinda happened to me, my husband and I were visiting my in-laws and one morning my poop came out in a sea of red. Panicked, I called my husband into the bathroom. He took one look and said, "Yeah and you drank like two gallons of Kool Aid at the beach yesterday." and "Thanks for making me look at your sht." and yes, I got razzed for it the rest of our vacation 😄

[@irrationalreality8276]

I believe your story just because of your username😂

[@Decapent_Tater]

​@Irrational Reality I wouldn't have noticed lmao thanks for that

[@aiden3627]

Now they respond to everything you say with “OK Koolaid!” Lol new nickname unlocked

[@DoctorProph3t]

“Thanks for making me look at your shit” I’m creasing omfg that’s too funny

[@insensitive919]

Not sure I know many women who could handle that kind of teasing lol

[@DMXIII]

From "Panic!!!" to "Cringe" hahahaha 😂

[@lucasburton9120]

👽

[@dubbyplays]

I think it's more embarassment than cringe

[@howardr106]

Me with Ulcerative Colitis: "Ah, this again, I feel you man" *Sees the second half* "Ah, embarrassment. I'm also very familiar with this"

[@maxwellmortimermontoure7274]

I feel your pain.

[@smudge8882]

I feel you lol. I have Crohn's disease

[@SuperKendoman]

Yep, it sucks. Hang in there, Howard 😇

[@castertroy9129]

I have this issue too. Any tips on fixing this problem

[@katywalker1048]

IBD is not for the easily embarrassed

[@GeorgeAllensenoV_Linx]

The talent mixed with insane stories is the best sir. Thank you for your service and humor!

[@LordEric1]

Red blood in your stool usually isn't something to immediately freak out over. Still talk to your doctor about it when you can. A bigger worry would be red so dark it's black stool. This indicates the bleeding is deep in your intestines.

[@insensitive919]

Yeah, it would suck to have Crohn's for the chronic pain and how it can shorten your lifespan, but that's the worst case scenario and you have a few decades of life left if you don't give yourself a heart attack first. And you can get A LOT of blood from a hemmorhoid or a fissure. That's the first thing they'll ask you after they ask what you ate.

[@suparosc02]

​@@insensitive919 yeah, coffee makes my hemorrhoids bleed, I had to stop drinking it.

[@5p33dy305]

What if it's green?

[@LordEric1]

@@5p33dy305 green is fine and not indicative of any issues as far as I know. But I'm not a doctor.

[@Taylzz]

​@@5p33dy305If your blood is green you are no longer human.

[@heathermcfarland6317]

The opposite happened to my dad. He had been eating a lot of cherries and he thought it was just cherry juice turning his diarrhea red. When I went to the bathroom, it looked like a scene out of a horror movie. Turned out he had internal bleeding after a colonoscopy. He had to be in the hospital For a week during the height of the pandemic. Super scary.

[@karimecolettadominguez]

Wow, that is scary. I’m so sorry that happened. How’s your dad doing now?

[@DrVeryStrange]

Hospitals were horror houses during the pandemic 😷

[@jacobcraig7033]

The word had comes from the word have, and it means to be in possession of something, so you can’t possess eating something the correct way to say this would be “ he was eating , or he ate a lot of cherries”

[@MoMo09809]

Opposite happened to my fiance too. He was actually laughing, telling me he was dropping charcoals (color)... I told him to make sure it didn't happened again because that wasn't normal at all, second time he went to the clinic. The doctor told him he was sending him to a hospital immediatly. Gastritis is a b!tch.

[@zhou_sei]

​@@jacobcraig7033 if you're going to be pedantic, at least be correct. "past perfect"

[@Adui13]

This one hits home in a hilarious way! When I was somewhere around 14 this happened toe me from eating too many pickled beets. My mom was so kind as she explained it. I'm certain she laughed her ass off later but she didnt laugh at me to my face!! Miss you Mom!

[@AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach]

That’s talent. I would have laughed. Sorry, kids!

[@YaYa-hq9kt]

Why is eating too many beets a bad thing?

[@brittanycarolina850]

​@@YaYa-hq9ktIts nothing bad, but the beets are gonna coloring your pee and pop hahahaha

[@kotorandcorvid4968]

I'm sorry for your loss ♥️

[@NoriMori1992]

That's a sweet mother 😭❤️ Sometimes one of the greatest mercies you can bestow on someone is just to not laugh at them when almost anyone else would.

[@TheOJDrinker]

The fact that nobody was bleeding removed the danger and made this nothing but HILLARIOUS.

[@Almanatrix]

When i was six, i saw that i had bloody poo. I left the bathroom, put on my best dress and and lay on my bed, arms crossed over chest mummy-style and silently cried until i drifted off. I woke up to my mom asking wtf I wasnt up for school. I started to cry and told her my i was bleeding "internationally" and would be dead soon. She knew it was from the beets id eaten from the garden but she still let me stay home 😅

[@mavitilo]

😂😂😂

[@ConfectionerCat]

That's insanely wholesome 😂 thank you

[@jepokus]

hahahahah omg the drama, so relatable

[@SunscreenSmoocher]

This is funny to everyone but to me it’s so sad…I’m so sorry that happened to you. You just have been fucking terrified. /srs

[@dynastyconflate3379]

Damn. My parents forced me to go to school when I had a pulled muscle in my leg that sent me crying on the ground helplessly. Be nice to stay home

[@silmarian]

I had this happen with my then-infant child. There’s nothing like changing a diaper to find it bright red inside to stop a mom’s heart. Fortunately I remembered before taking him into the hospital in a blind panic.

[@Pilsnor]

Even if you had forgot and had taken him to the hospital there would be zero shame in that, we all react differendly to situations and some people simply cant think straight if paniced, rather go one time too many than one time too few. I cant imagine the relief you got when you remembered

[@Westwoodshadowgaming]

I had an ex whose mom knocked her dad out because she shit red and the dad was like "well duh we just ate a ton of red velvet cake" but mom was in full panick mode and litterally hit him in the head and took her to the hospital. oh god that was a crazy 3 week relationship

[@silmarian]

@@Pilsnor Oh, I know there would have been no shame. But it would have been expensive and we had no money (and really bad insurance) then.

[@tanya5322]

I had a similar but different experience with a diaper change. I found blue poo in my daughter’s diaper. Talk about a head scratching WTF moment. Then I remembered. That child had recently been binging on blue raspberry go-gurts. Not smurfs

[@Pilsnor]

@@silmarian i see, its easy for me to say that stuff when i live in a country with “free” healthcare, i honestly have no idea what a visit to the doctor or calling an ambulance like in the video would even cost, but i cant imagine that its cheap, and i hear alot about ensurance simply not wanting to pay out in pretty much any situation, so i can see why you would think twice. I am happy to hear that your baby was okay, and i hope he grows up happy and healthy 😊

[@Amaranthyne]

My mom’s a doctor. Working at an urgent care one day, they told her a guy came in and he was turning blue. Her response was “don’t bring him here! Call an ambulance!” “But he’s not in respiratory distress.” “Really? …Let me look at him” Sure enough, the young man was brought in by his mother, he was breathing fine, but his skin had a blue tinge. Hmm… “Any recent changes in your life?” “Yeah, I got a new job” “Doing what?” “Painting” “What color have you been using?” “Blue” She got a wet paper towel, and sure enough! The blue _paint_ came right off! His mother was horrified at the stupidity of it, and my mom got to write her favorite note ever: Patient Complaint-Blue paint. Solution-Take a bath! Edit: Please stop commenting about the cost. An urgent care visit is $100-$150. 15 years ago it was less.

[@taco-Kitty-Bell1989]

😂😂😂😂 lol

[@EaglesQuestions]

Aw, mom cares, though.

[@GettoGero]

She was working urgent care, where ambulances bring people, and had someone come in, and then told people to not take care of the person and call an ambulance? To, what, bring them into the hospital they were at? Bullshit.

[@Wolham]

@@GettoGero urgent care is not emergency department. Urgent care is for things like minor injuries, minor infections; things you need to be seen for in the next day or two but won't kill you

[@OvrStim1]

@@GettoGero Its a walk-in clinic. When you have an injury that needs to be looked at by a medical professional but it isn’t an emergency, you go to what is essentially a doctors office without the appointments (sometimes they also have doctors who book appointments, but thats not the point). You just sign in at the front and wait for your name to be called.

[@mickerzmouse]

The 1st half is a re enactment of me during my colonoscopy prep

[@themadinspector]

I guess he got "beet up", or was that just a "beet down?" 😆 🤣

[@andreah.5962]

Underrated comment. 😂

[@themadinspector]

@andreah.5962. THANK YOU! I try. 😆

[@mattherapper365]

It was an honest mistake, hope he doesn't "beet" himself up about it

[@sneakysnail9225]

I know where you live

[@NathanTheAutisticDRIPKING]

Oh lord 😂

[@Norbrookc]

Back in my college days, we pranked someone by slipping a blue dye (I'm not got to say which one) into his coke and rums. The next morning, the most godawful screams came from the bathroom as he had bright blue urine. After racing to the ER, the doctor listened, and then said "You got pranked. You're fine."

[@RICDirector]

Thin blue discharge? Funny smell? Must be Herpes windex. (In expiation, that's one of Spider Robinson's..)

[@joan.nao1246]

​@@RICDirector 😂😂😂😂

[@AhHereWeGo]

I had blue pee after eating black licorice ice cream, it was interesting

[@PurtyPurple]

Lmao you let him go to the ER? That's cold XD

[@Norbrookc]

@@PurtyPurple We weren't going to stop him, particularly after someone (cough) told him about a particularly nasty kidney disorder that could cause that...

[@momcharisma88]

My daughter once was taking a nap with her favorite stuffy. It was a reindeer with kind of longish hair. Apparently, at some point during her nap she had wrapped her finger super tight in the hair of the reindeer. It was strangling her finger and it was turning blue and purple. I'm an Uber worry wart mom when it comes to my babies and I was freaking out trying to get it off. It was so tight and her finger was so swollen and it was so tangled on, I just could not get under it to cut it off and she was wiggling and freaking out. I called ems. They came got it off her finger and not only that but they were so wonderful. They had these special slim scissors they could slid it right under without hurting her and after they put a bandaid on her finger and one on the reindeer where they had to cut the hair off. I'm so thankful for all you all do!

[@RJALEXANDER777]

Cute story in hindsight. Glad everyone was okay.

[@oh-duh]

❤❤❤

[@Tracker5111]

I would have removed it myself... jus sayin... as a resourceful person and dad.... we getz it dunn. : )

[@CWHolleman]

Parenting in 1923 - Paregoric Parenting in 2023 - Reindeer Hair!!! 911!!

[@dinoaurus1]

​@@CWHollemanparenting in 1923 - "Jimothy James the Fifth we lost another one!" "Thats fine theres still 5 left"

[@Nyghtking]

I mean I would still get checked just to make sure.

[@markgearing]

When my daughter was a toddler I was changing her nappy, and as I took off a full one I saw it was full of dark, blood-clot coloured polyps. My heart hit my gut and I called my wife over with the most control I could muster through my rising panic. She took one look and said… “Blueberries.” Apparently my daughter was just swallowing them whole and they were passing through undigested. When mixed with the regular contents of a nappy they took on a much more sinister look.

[@FiXato]

corn is another thing that can take you by surprise the first time...

[@ghostlyrose8946]

​@@FiXato... and grapes...

[@shannonrickard8605]

My daughter threw up blood when she was a newborn. I panicked. I learned that day that you can have blood in your breastmilk without knowing it and it can upset little tummies and cause them to throw up.

[@megafoodie6984]

Are you a northerner? Is a nappy a diaper? Or a one-z?

[@TooFewSecrets]

​@@shannonrickard8605I think blood in milk would upset anyone's stomach! Probably makes it curdle too...

[@PurrfectlyCreative333]

the "nope, I think we're good" with that face 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@cappyjones]

About 20 years ago, I had a solid black dump. I googled "What causes black stool?" and the googler told me internal bleeding. I panicked until I remembered that I had eaten an entire box of *thin mint* girl scout cookies and I breathed a sigh of relief 😁

[@NeviusZ]

Most Google answer. “You’re gonna die!”

[@sarahs.9678]

Laughing out loud at this.

[@LiveFreeOrDieDH]

Weirdly, Pepto Bismol can do it too

[@human7092]

Uhm so as a Girl Scout myself that is not what happens when you eat a whole box of cookies….

[@chellechelle8228]

Lol! I have the same fear that something is seriously wrong every time I tear apart a thing of Oreos. It’s 5 seconds of “wth is wrong with me” that then goes to “ooooh yeah. I had Oreos. I’m all good” lol!

[@crazymissdaisy]

My mom almost called an ambulance when I "bleed from the rectum" as a baby. I just got home from my granparents and found a new favorite snack: Pickled beets

[@davidsto9064]

Worked in an ER, saved a few people from scopes by asking what they ate/drank

[@insensitive919]

Good job! Have 600 likes from all of us who know exactly what you meant by "scopes".

[@davidsto9064]

@@insensitive919 holy smokes. Never had a 100 likes on anything before lol.

[@bsdnfraje]

Long before I became a medic, I ate an entire red velvet cake for my birthday. (No one likes you when you're 23, don't judge.). Two days later, there was SO MUCH 'BLOOD'. When the results of the barium series came back normal, and the doctor started questioning me, he acted like I was an idiot wasting his time. Which maybe I was, but I'm still the one who had to pass 2 baseball sized rocks of barium, which is its own punishment.

[@inosuke4708]

He didn’t examine you well enough before hand. That’s his fault.

[@bsdnfraje]

@@inosuke4708 Do you mean he should have asked if I ate a whole red velvet cake? Or do you mean digital internal palpation, because I assure you, I definitely got the old pointer in the pooper treatment.

[@inosuke4708]

@@bsdnfraje 🤣 he should have asked if you ate anything red lol. He’s a GI doc that’s an obvious question to ask. I’m a nurse too lol

[@user-pi3hd2bt3f]

I dont get the doctors who shame patients for being scared in situations like this Im not a doctor, idk whats happening to my body and i would rather 'waste your time' than brush it off and wake up dead

[@bsdnfraje]

@@user-pi3hd2bt3f You've never passed barium. Waking up dead sounded pretty good in that moment.

[@TheSephiroth3517]

Hahaha. My dad had a scare like this. Thought he was in trouble. Turns out he just ate too many hot cheetos 😂😂😂

[@jackstailers3248]

That‘ll do it.

[@NerdiBee]

I love the dedication to the roles. He even almost hits his face on the door 😂

[@noaht5191]

I had a similar reaction about a month ago, after eating some 7-11 red velvet cookies, the next morning my heart stopped...then I remembered.

[@jakejutras5420]

Did you guys not learn how to chew properly?

[@MonkeyJedi99]

About half of the time I have beets (and the greens, I love em!) I forget about them by the next morning when I'm peeing day-glow red. That moment of panic is more effective than caffeine.

[@rhov-anion]

I had my husband panic like that after red velvet cake.

[@JimsyFlimsy]

Was EMS able to restart your heart?

[@noaht5191]

@@JimsyFlimsy no need, once I realized that cookies made me poo red, it started working on its own again lol

[@guacre2675]

Honestly, as far as the real call stories you have, this one is by far the best case scenario. You didn't have to take him to the hospital, he wasn't being facetious (just stupid), you resolved it immediately, and were able to leave as soon as possible (wasting as little time for a first responder).

[@Ghost-nj7nj]

Better to call and it be nothing then not call and it be something.

[@KweenRegi77]

probably laughing his azz off in the truck while calling dispatch that the call was resolved on site :D

[@dillongage]

I hate the way facetious is spelled. It just looks wrong. Looks like Face-ti-ous. 😂 english is weird.

[@dee_dee_place]

Reminds me of the time I was working as a Triage Nurse & a Dad called me to say, "he was peeing bright green urine." One of the doctors I was working with told me to ask him if he had been eating Froot Loops. He told me he had; the mystery was solved. LOL

[@northwesttravels7234]

Flomax causes color changes. 😮 if you aren't expecting it.

[@rijulsurendran]

Beet juice also causes urine to change colour my doctor,my mother and my 10 year old self realised this after a few blood and urine test 😂. When my mother mentioned my diet to the doctor.

[@ThankYouJR]

What is in fruit loops to cause that?!

[@dee_dee_place]

@@ThankYouJR It has something to do with the green dye they use to color the cereal.

[@errantelf]

Fruit Loops cause neon green poo, too. 😅

[@lazyreaps]

panic and horror --> ANGRY --> embarrassed 😂😂😂

[@Zak.Iya.]

I’m literally cryiiingg from laughter when he said “I’m gonna die on the toilet”🤣🤣

[@KweenRegi77]

ikr its like calm down Elvis not today...

[@insensitive919]

It's either that, or you die shitting your pants somewhere else.

[@BriannaBehrendt-jv6lq]

HES ELVIS

[@julesrules7297]

I appreciate your non judgmental attitude in these. My parents are ER nurses (30+ years) and are the same. They tell gnarly stories, always at the dinner table. My mom won't eat salami bc "it looks like bedsores". My dad had a psych patient who "rolled his poops into little balls, like chocolates...and ate them". Just normal dinner conversation.

[@MsStrangeEmilie]

That is hilarious, thanks for sharing 😂

[@CherryJuli]

Talk to caretakers and nurses at elderly homes. They have more of the “chocolate” stories 😅

[@nothingposted9056]

Ferrero toilé

[@HaveASenseOfMorals]

Lol yeah totally normal family fun talks 😂

[@solarlass5807]

I must be getting weak in my old age. I found the bed sore salami on point and now I won't eat it in the future. Thanks!😂 To think, I once watched an autopsy in my 20's with a horrendous hangover. I was proud that I didn't throw-up or pass out into the open chest cavity. 🤮 Now bedsore salami is making me weak. 🤨🙄

[@aleshaford2968]

I actually bled from my butt… jokingly I text my sister about it and said “can you say hospital?” the last thing I remember is smashing my face in a mirror and waking up the ground wailing in my office… my boss called 911 and I had to explain to a sexy fireman that I was shooting blood out of my ass. Aaaaw memories.

[@adriadarnes]

That sounds so scary. Was everything ok?

[@DaddyLeviticus]

@@adriadarnes yeah bro just a little ass blood no biggie. 🗿

[@az678910]

Me too, except I just ignored it and waited until it was over and went to work lol

[@DeDoG-py7ef]

You can’t leave us hanging like that. why was you ass bleeding out of nowhere?

[@Spooky-4000]

Don’t do anal folks

[@ragingalex_1017]

At the end SO PERFECTION of embarrassment.😂😂😂

[@doggytheanarchist7876]

I was hospitalized on Christmas Eve when I was 6 yrs old because of beets. It was so dramatic. I remember doctors running with my hospital bed, like we were on Grey's Anatomy. I was a weird kid. Fucking loved beets.

[@Naiveunicorn101]

How did beets hospitalize you? Did you eat too many?

[@iota1175]

@@Naiveunicorn101 likely for the same reason the person in the video called 911--the beets caused their shit to be red, which made everyone panic because they mistook it for blood, which would be a result of internal bleeding and very possible to die from. hence the kid got shipped off to the hospital, and everyone was panicked until they realized it was beets and not blood

[@MikeDCWeld]

Bears beets Battlestar Galactica!

[@doggytheanarchist7876]

@@iota1175 yup. That's what happened. But with piss. 😅

[@Cuil]

As someone with IBS (and whose entire family has crohn's, fun stuff!), beet juice results in a pretty different color than anything you'd actually need to be concerned about, but I could see how it'd spook anyone with a normally functioning tuchus lol

[@thananightshade]

You have my sympathy! My hubby delt with Crohn's for a decade before we found out it was all because of a rare allergy to bovine casein. He even tested fine vs lactose and gluten, could eat them all day. -.-

[@kirstenwyatt9675]

Yeah, once you've actually seen blood in the toilet, you can tell the difference.

[@J_McPhearsom]

So my entire family also has either Crohns or bad IBS, with colon cancer killing every male at 50 before colonoscopies were used (grandfather first to live long). Anyway an interest fact discovered when I had genetic testing (due to tumor), they found a germline (born with) genetic mutation caused LYNCH SYNDROME, also called Hereditary Non-Polyposis Colon Cancer. Since telling family, multiple others were tested positive for the mutation. I found it very interesting, because it explained the bowel issues experienced in the family. (Males are more likely to have it bad in colon, but females have a raised risk of Uterine cancer). Estimated 2-3% of population potentially is a carrier. This information WILL save many members of my family over time. My family is also full of healthcare professionals, also interested in this stuff, so I’d put it out there for your family to attempt to test, verify and track if you have Lynch Syndrome or similar mutation as well, with outcomes that improve with monitoring.

[@krakenpots5693]

What is Crohn's and IBS? (If you don't mind me asking) I have never heard of these illnesses...

[@EQ_EnchantX]

​@@krakenpots5693 Crohn's disease is a type of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It causes swelling of the tissues (inflammation) in your digestive tract, which can lead to abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss and malnutrition.

[@Haru-spicy]

the detail of the door nudging his face as he hurries to get it closed was a great touch

[@Wicked1999]

"Do I have a history of bleeding from my rectum? No!" Man I love your shorts they make me chuckle

[@Banana97121]

When i was a daycare staff, this little boy came pulling me to the bathroom to look at his poo, he said, " isnt that awesome? i ate beets" 🤣

[@smilyboytobi]

😂😂😂😂

[@rex8255]

Adults (including me) freak, and the kid knows exactly what happened. And adults think kids area dumb.

[@Bookworm_476]

I’d be like “Damn got my period again!”😂

[@CS-ys4sy]

Out of your butt?

[@lethfuil]

Nope, you wouldn't. Because you don't suddenly bleed that much and much less from your rectum. Looks way different too.

[@thrackerzodthefandomnerd4267]

From the back? I get the joke, but usually the other end has the blood

[@thrackerzodthefandomnerd4267]

​@@lethfuilyes, actually, some of us DO suddenly have a full on stream, Becky.

[@lethfuil]

@@thrackerzodthefandomnerd4267 I've no fucking clue what the "Becky" part is supposed to be slang for, but if you suddenly start bleeding profusely from your rectum, without a warning, that's not your period, Clarence. Oh, and even proper vaginal disposal doesn't happen that suddenly, in that amount, without any sign of "warning" beforehand, at least not in 99% of cases (simply because of what it is that happens and how, physically), Simone.

[@sarahs.9678]

I’ll never forget the time my friend hand-baked me a delicious red velvet birthday cake. That night I was falling asleep but had eaten a lot of cake so I had to go to the bathroom. In my tired state, what I saw in the toilet made me run to my parents’ room. I was in my twenties lol. Fortunately, with a little help from Google and my brain coming online, we decided I wasn’t dying and no need to call 911.

[@jess_mills]

I ate a red velvet cake in a cup. Went to the bathroom, freaked out, grabbed my husband, showed him. He asked, "Did you eat the cake in a cup I bought you?" Me, " hmmm yeah, yeah I did and the whole thing too." SMH

[@jemtaovt1122]

This outcome is much better than the other way around.

[@lairdcummings9092]

😂 The advantages of being highly observant...

[@jamietaylor6794]

Love this, my mom once thought she was peeing blood, which was really bad as she had a transplant kidney, thought she was rejecting it. Turns out she had a whole lot of pickled beets as she was the only one home and ate like 3 jars over the weekend. All was good, but my dad managed to make a 5 hour drive in 3!

[@redvelvetrose]

Are beets really that delicious?

[@paicemaster6855]

​@@redvelvetroseoh most definitely

[@LoneSWarrior]

5 hours!? Holy shit.

[@yungtizzy]

@@redvelvetrosehell naw

[@deanfowlkes]

The door slam at the end is epic.

[@LowEnd_tesla]

Flamin hot Cheetos have also given me a few seconds of absolute panic when I’ve checked the bowl 😂

[@kentonkyuubininefox9264]

I appreciate these ones a lot more than the ones that are presumptuous and just think that they can demand whatever, cause in this case it's just a genuine mistake and they're probably more embarrassed than anything.

[@fedbia2003]

Lmao, you're such a good actor. The change in his demeanor is so god damn priceless! 🤣🤣🤣

[@braedenhogencamp1325]

I'd say it's not the WORST call to get. At least the two of you didn't go all the way to the hospital to figure that out 😂😂😂

[@lethfuil]

Plus it was a honest mistake instead of someone just wanting a ride.

[@malikaikinn1153]

Cuz thats where they perform colonoscopy to investigate

[@jarkbeano6400]

The door shutting on him made me crease😂😂😂 dude immediately tried to hide from the world ahahah

[@sketchyskies8531]

“Do you have a history of this?” “Of bleeding from my rectum? NO!” 😂😂

[@samschellhase8831]

Well at least it wasn’t idiocy, just well intentioned ignorance

[@quarrydesigns]

Many years age while working as the Director of a small county EMS service: Got a frantic call from our local nursing home on the day after Thanksgiving saying they had 6 patients with new onset GI bleed needing transport. That was the last time pickled beets were an option for Thanksgiving diner.

[@Emeraldwitch30]

As a child I loved pickled beets. My mom told me it would freak out my grandma every time I poo red next day. Gran daycare me

[@DarkandStormyNight01]

My husband went to go pee and next thing I heard was him yelling for me in a blind panic... then silence as I reminded him of the huge bowl of borscht (beet soup) he'd had earlier 😂

[@cameronf5893]

This is the best channel ever I laugh every fucking time xD

[@orcaolivegames]

At least when he realized he stopped taking up your time

[@milomilo55]

My brother ran his 2 yr old daughter to the ER at 2am after she woke up to use the toilet and he saw a sea of red when he went to flush. After examing her and finding nothing, the doctor started asking her if she'd eaten anything before going to the bathroom. Turn's out she loved her grandma's pickled beets and had eaten almost the entire jar she'd found in the frig. while everyone was asleep 😂

[@captainfluffy7232]

Damn. Getting caught by biology. What a bitch.

[@maritzasylvia]

I remember a mom telling a story on fb group, she too her girl to the dr , as there were ayellow/ orange things coming out of her 2year olds ear. The doc had a look, scooped it up with his finger and licked .. the mother was horrified… and he declared: pumpkin! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@meneng6933]

Ewwwww😂😂😂 that was in her ear ?

[@amy-leacoopertwiggyvonlea8969]

Yeah, there's no way the doctor did that.

[@ariadne0w1]

@@amy-leacoopertwiggyvonlea8969 If it did, he probably could smell that it was pumpkin way before he actually put it in his mouth.

[@disguisedcat1750]

@@ariadne0w1 no bro it was in the girls ear no shot

[@ariadne0w1]

@@disguisedcat1750 fair enough, ha

[@rosethecat2930]

As someone with anxiety who tends to overthink every change to my stool. I feel this on a personal level.

[@warden8573]

the "ahhh" of realisation

[@P3rmissionD3ni3d]

😂😂😂. I have an older lady for a neighbor. She ate a can if beets and was popping red. Went to the hospital cuz she couldn’t figure out why. It dawned on her a few days later. Ugh she is so cute. Terrible thing is she went back to the hospital a few weeks later cuz she wasn’t feeling well. Discovered a stomach full of cancer. I’m not sure how they didn’t see that during the beet incident

[@RurijoDeijiRikorisu]

Did she beat the cancer?

[@nummnutz7046]

Healthcare moment

[@P3rmissionD3ni3d]

She passed away the 16th of March 2023.

[@rollerworld99]

​@@P3rmissionD3ni3d that's recent

[@P3rmissionD3ni3d]

@@rollerworld99 yeah. I just wanted to memorialize it in a way. She was such a sweet lady.

[@ArkriteTheMad]

That moment when the Paramedic goes from "Oh crap, this guy is in serious condition and we need to get his controlled ASAP" To "Everybody is healthy and safe, the stress is gone and this call just became comedy gold"

[@TheProtogun]

I love these videos! Damn thats what they call quality content! ❤

[@PitchBlack8690]

Nope I think we're good, killed me 😂

[@amycmcc1]

Right 😂 as he closed the door in their faces😂😂😂

[@tedmangreavesii3318]

That sigh of understanding said everything😅😅😅

[@kathrynbarr9248]

Flaming hot Cheetos were my husband’s downfall. 😂

[@emmapicott449]

My Grandfather did this, but without a paramedic and with my gran instead. 😹 she still laughs about it now over 20 years later!

[@julierobinson3633]

My Dad the same, he was pretty panicked until my Mum reminded him he'd been eating beetroot.

[@MarzieMalfoy]

Yeah... the first time drinking beet juice without the warning. I remember that trip to the ER very well 😂😂😂

[@dee_dee_place]

Whenever any of the doctors I worked for ordered Pyridium, I always told the patients their urine would turn orange to red while taking the prescription.

[@zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba0]

Getting hooked by the door when someone realizes its all good. I felt that. I feel this.

[@joshualewis2480]

Haha! I had the same thing happen to me but it was Salisbury steak field rations (they covered it in a red sauce, actually one of the better meals). I thought I was shitting blood. The medic asked if I had eaten the field chow. Yup. I felt like an idiot. Got to do an air assualt mission later, that made up for it

[@SouLP196]

Pulse went from 180 bpm to 70 in record time 😂

[@DianaLogg]

The first time I had to take iron supplements. I panicked, stared, then ran back through every new thing I’d ingested.

[@summere.6225]

When I had to start taking them, my healthcare provider literally said "don't panic, it's going to change the color of your stool, just make sure to seek medical attention if it looks like coffee grounds, or is black."