reality of trauma therapy // POST THERAPY THOUGHTS

[@curtisbemis6640]

I hate life anymore , idk how im going to get through this stuid holiday without marie . Its taken me so long to even be able to hear her voice without crying , Marie was such an amazing friend and always so sweet and made time to talk with me . She knew how hard it was for me to be anywhere near my family . I only managed because i knew f things got to be too much . I could run and hide and call marie . Now i can only pray and tell her i love and miss her. Im so lost. I just cant function. Im tired of losing everyone i can trust to love me . I can't trust my family, but marie i could . She wouldnt have wasted her time if she didnt genuinly care about me .

[@Fella.]

How are you doing today, 5 months later?

[@nathalielestrange500]

The sound at the beginning 😌 old times

[@lifeofeve17]

It made me cry when you talked about the anger part. My aries Stellium doesn't help but I do get so irritable and pissy after ive hit a climax of emotional suppression and then i just end up exploding. It's just been Christmas and I've had 3 days of genuinely feeling much closer to my family. It's painful because I feel like people don't think I love them. I actually just cried again reading this comment back because i just feel like a terrible person

[@Sarah-ig4rf]

I really appreciate your openness Marie, it helps us to feel more in touch with you and less alone with our own struggles. I just want to add, your eyes are beautiful!

[@marieroseeee]

you are too kind, thankyou so much! xxxx

[@rolfsinkgraven]

A good therapist opens doors you actually dont like to be open but it has too happen too progress further and too heal, it took me a few years too get it pfft but it will get better in time, you hide a lot off things you have been putting away, life will get better, you have done a lot already.

[@pengtingshwingaling3563]

i’ve just started weekly trauma therapy too and this is the most i’ve ever related to anything ever like word for word i am so scared of never being like everyone else or “normal” so thank you for making this because recovery can be so so lonely and it’s easy to forget theres other people going through what you are

[@marieroseeee]

💕 sending you so much love

[@LK-tp2le]

I relate to feeling left behind because mental illness has set me back so many years compared to my friends. I have made peace with it by accepting that I am on my own individual and unique path and I will achieve things when the time is right for me. Life is a process of growth, learning and new experiences. Depending on where we are at, each of us need different things at different stages in order to grow. Society creates this false idea that we should all be on the same path, achieving the same things at the same time and that is just not how life works. We are never failing the whole time we are still trying🌈

[@marieroseeee]

this is so super true! 'whole time we are still trying'' I love that. its true. all I ever do is try to be a better person, like im not destructive anymore. I want to have a great life, maybe we just take a detour, I really really want to feel at peace with this ideology. thankyou xx

[@monaebreak561]

This will sound horrible but it felt nice seeing another person cry. I only ever see my own swollen eyes in the mirror. With that said, I wish you the absoulte best!! ❤

[@marieroseeee]

i understand. nothing wrong with crying. it’s healthy (i think). sending love 💗

[@noellebombardier7556]

This is what spreading awareness is!!! Anger is straight up THE most difficult emotion and for me as well the most embarrassing thing ever. I swear I black out when I’m at a peak with my anger. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone but in a sense I’m glad that I’m not the only one…

[@TheMarkedGirl717]

I know that fear of never being like everyone else too well. That feeling of lagging behind is maybe the hardest thing. Thank you so much for this, Marie.

[@marieroseeee]

its awful, you feel like a failure like something that is just disposable. I hate feeling left behind. but having other people also say they feel this way really does make me feel less alone xxx

[@TheMarkedGirl717]

@@marieroseeee It really is so difficult to go through - especially if almost everyone else around you seems to be doing so much better. You're definitely not alone about that. I believe you will achieve even greater things, Marie. You already have. I'm amazed at how well you've been doing but it's hard work! You're such an inspiration and comfort to me and many others so I hope that's a bit of a solace in all the uncertainty.

[@Loz17]

I relate so much to feeling like I'm behind in life and that I'll never get to be like everyone else. I didn't think I'd be around right now either! I'm 23 but I didn't think I'd ever make it to this age and it's such a strage feeling. I'm glad I'm not alone with that one. I love you Marie, you help so many people without even realising

[@martyna1961]

There's a lot I wanna say and there's tears in my eyes so here goes.. Firstly, please make a video about scars and different culture because I live in the UK but I'm from Poland which is a very traditional country so I'd find it very useful on how to cope. Secondly, you crying at the end made me cry. I just wanted to give you a big hug, you don't deserve that. But idk if it was what you said or just seeing someone else cry like the way I would or what but somehow you expressed how I feel. But the part I desperately try to hide. In this whole video you brought up so much that I don't show and it felt so weird connecting to someone in this way.. The truth is that I'm so angry at my past self and I hate saying that. There's so much that I said and did that is just so evil. I wouldn't really say this but if it helps anyone then it's worth it. But because of my poor mental health I ended up in a hostel at the end of 2019 and I had plans to go to uni and do so much then it just felt like everything was taken away only I was the one who took it all. It's like I destroyed my life and I keep destroying it. I'll have months where I'm okay and then when I remember things I try so hard to forget everything goes bad. You're not the only one in this position, Marie. I promise I feel like this, too. You have no idea how much this opend my eyes. Thank you. Everything will be okay in the end. You're doing so well and you should be so proud of yourself. I'm sending all the love and support❤️

[@marieroseeee]

martyna, WOW. thankyou so much for this comment, the thoughtfulness and honesty helps me so much. I find it so difficult that I wa a a a s that person. I just feel like I don't how to solve it. but as you say, everything will be okay in the end. just want to say, you seem like a beautiful soul. please never change. this comment really helped me 💕

[@aidandanielski]

it's not just you. you're not useless; it's a phase you can and will surpass.

[@elinalannah0022]

I’ve never related to anything more than the last clips in this video. Everything you said I felt so deeply, and I think about everyday. It made me feel so reassured but also so sad for us because it’s so so hard. 💞💞

[@skeletar85]

I understand you so much with the not having a crutch anymore, its so hard to deal with the mood swings you were avoiding!!! This video was so helpful for me to not feel alone in that :)

[@marieroseeee]

sending such big hugs your way 💕

[@PinkSilkSuit]

“I know I’m older when I stop wanting to strangle the girl I was and try to hold her instead.” - Rhiannon McGavin, from “Habit,” in Grocery List Poems

[@queenjulianalovesherfatban2064]

"Emotions aren't bad, they're just difficult" So true 💜 and I feel like I'm really trying to accept my emotions more, but honestly I still very much feel trapped in this cycle of feeling like every time I cry/get really emotional then that means I'm weak/not strong enough/less worthy

[@alishastokes3990]

I get triggered and embarrassed when i feel like my nature or my character is being attacked - if someone implies i am selfish for example I used to split when this happened but I'm getting better at recognising what's happening And what you're saying at minute 13 - you can only improve over time through practicing it in the real situation, keep going ❤️

[@marieroseeee]

omg alisha, SAME! it’s like idc if you insult my opinions on things, how i look, what i wear.. but man if you come for my character (that we have pushed so hard to recreate) it sends me OFFFF! it hurts me so badly too, like it’s a stabbing feeeling in my belly. you’re so right. i hate it too. i don’t even know if it’s something to work on? like is this the other persons fault and not mine? idk. it’s something to think about though 💕

[@chloeeaston8206]

Also showing how tough things can be after therapy and how many emotions and doors can be opened is amazing! Well done x

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou 🥺

[@curtisbemis6640]

Marie I feel you on so many levels with this feeling useless and unaccomplished a let down and failure in everything I do and everyone I know and have nothing or noone to help you cope with things or understand me and , not being good enough or not even being equal to anyone . . This broke me Marie I don't cry about anything usually but this hit me in a way that hurt deep . Please know your not alone and I'd love to have someone like you to talk to who may understand me. But you don't know me let alone do I deserve your time . I'm blessed to have these videos to watch and get help from them . Your amazing Marie ❤️❤️❤️. As I have told you I'm here anytime and I mean that with everything in me . I can't stand to see anyone else hurt and will do whatever I can to help you if I even could .

[@shannonm3606]

Also thank you for showing what its like after a therapy session, and that its okay to feel more all over the place more than you first went into a session. This used to anger and confuse me! STAY STRONG BEAUTIFUL 🧡

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou so much Shannon! its difficult, but important to see xxxx

[@shannonm3606]

@@marieroseeee thank you for being so open and amazing! ❤ (also for responding you've made my day! 🧡)

[@ValeryPereiraa]

I feel as if you literally just explained everything that I couldn't say out loud- we really appreciate you & how you allow us to see your struggles as well as your thought processes to help others

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou soOoo much valery, sending hugs 💕

[@holly712]

Your not alone I feel you Marie. It’s ok to regret it’s ok to hate. It’s really ok

[@marieroseeee]

💖 thankyou, this means so much

[@shannonm3606]

I felt this! Anger is a scary feeling when you'd use to take the anger out on oneself. Personally i feel like i have to learn to feel and cope with it. I didn't let my younger self do so, i just resorted to destructive behaviour so it almost like others learned from there younger years, but i didn't

[@marieroseeee]

its so difficult!

[@shannonm3606]

@@marieroseeee i feel that too! But give yourself a little praise for recognizing the anger and that it something to work on, its progress :) hope you have an amazing day! ❤

[@hopebashford2645]

I've just got round to watching this because I've been hella busy but omg Marie, I am so proud of you and I totally understand you throughout this whole video 🥺 I absolutely love the fact your being so open about this, that takes braveryyy and strength and just shows what an incredible person you are. I started trauma therapy a little while ago and to be honest I find it so hard but this gives me so much strength and motivation because I get where your coming and totally relate to what you were saying and it helps me so much. Just remember Marie, its okay to cry and its okay to feel these emotions. We're all human. Keep going girl 💗 your amazing:)

[@bethck4549]

It’s not fair that the victims of trauma are the ones who have to do all the WORK it takes to become survivors and thrivers. I just want to remind you that the embarrassment you feel isn’t yours. It’s the abusers. It’s so easy to get the lines blurred when you’ve kept the shame secret for so long. That’s what’s so hard about going BACK and resolving wrongs from our past. We feel the pain just like we did as the child/young adult and then loathe ourselves because it’s not complicated, we understand the issue, but we still can’t make it stop. I don’t know if you’ve read about emotional flashbacks and Pete Walker’s work on complex post traumatic stress, but you should if you haven’t. I spent all my teen years in hospitals, was diagnosed and medicated as a “borderline with schizoaffective disorder” but nothing helped until I did the trauma therapy and learned more about complex trauma. I went from spending seven years in hospitals, and dropping out of high school and missing out everything and feeling like the abuse I experienced as a child ended up with feeling abused by the mental health system and sure as hell abusing myself. I don’t know if you understand but ifykyk… there’s just so much embarrassment and regret and grief about the whole thing. I loved this video Marie, it made all of my post therapy rambles without a camera feel less unhinged because you were able to document it and share it with us. Thank you for seeing my experience through sharing yours. I’ve been a follower of yours for years now ( on here and ig, I’m @beth.ck) and it’s been an honor to watch your journey. I know that everything you’re going through now is preparing you for a dream bigger than you can imagine. Sending you so much love, and my dm’s are always open if you ever need a brain to bounce off of around trauma therapy or “unfucking” yourself after the chaos that seems to be life up to this point ❤️❤️

[@marieroseeee]

Thank you so much Beth, I messaged you on Instagram just because this comment means so much to me. Not only did you take the time to write such a emotional message, it sharing your own struggles and the solutions to them or at least theories to them is so important to me - jus t want to thank you. I’m sending loads of love 💕

[@sarawatkins1086]

Everything you are saying I have felt in the past. I can really relate. Therapy is fucking hard, especially when going over things you have locked away. Just know that it’s normal for you to feel this way and it’s okay. Try not to look at what you haven’t done and look at what you have done Marie! You might not feel it but you are a strong strong woman. What you have achieved is amazing, please don’t forget that. ❤️

[@marieroseeee]

sara 🥺🥺🥺🥺 thankyou so much for this beautiful comment 💖

[@elizabethconroy7665]

Marie Thank you for being so honest and sharing all this personal information I tried Therapy Hated it Made me feel worse Have more or less managed to heal myself albeit imperfectly but will never go through this again Good Luck on your journey

[@marieroseeee]

proud of you! thankyou so much xx

[@justmai2476]

I feel you. Struggled with severe PTSD, then I recovered. Every time I came out of a session I felt worse than going in. I wanted to stop so badly. Then, 2 years in, I finally recovered. Still am recovered. I'm mentally and physically disabled, have severe learning disabilities and am fighting like hell -doesn't mean I'm a success story, but I am trying. You're not alone in that. I am alone in that I don't know anyone with severe mental disorders or who is severely disabled in any other way, and I have rare conditions, so I only meet people online. It's very hard, I am very much different (I have Asperger's, lol) and have such a different reality to EVERYONE I know. I know I'm not alone in that, just feel that way. Some days are good, then some days I cry. Some days, I know I'm the only one who can help myself. Try to be kind to yourself ♡

[@Frantasiesx]

I love how open you are marie, you help more people than you know ! ❤️

[@marieroseeee]

🥺💖

[@Babaelow]

OMG, anger is my problem too! I can be frustrated and then be soooo rude to someone, just to "catalyse", EVEN IF I KNOW EXACTLY IT'S MY FAULT. The frustration isn't the abnormal thing, it's my reaction that is!

[@marieroseeee]

EXACTLY! like why?????? why am I so defensive??

[@Echo-yk1id]

I'm sorry to see you so down Marie, I'm about 5 years older than you & when I was at your age I had started a career I loved, but I was still in fortnightly therapy & it felt like I was on shaky ground constantly and that at any moment everything would fall apart. I wish constantly I had taken time to heal instead of trying to "keep up". Only a few days ago I thought about what would have happened if I never relapsed, like by now I would be saving for a home deposit and have ticked off a few other goals. It really hurts when other's don't show compassion because they have no idea about all you've been through. My psychiatrist once told me that we learn being treated poorly is a sign who we are is worthless, because someone or many someone's failed to respect us as a person. It teaches you shame that was never yours to carry. The antidote to shame is compassion. It doesn't come naturally to people like us, but it's important. I dropped out of trauma therapy because I noticed it was just making me into someone I disliked more than the person I was before, extremely angry, bitter, resentful, and antisocial, so I did enjoy your thoughts & I keep track of a few other's in the same stage of therapy to see if there's something to learn. I feel you might like heartoftee on insta. I followed her for years on Tumblr, watched her struggling with ED & PTSD & honestly thought she would die & now she's really making a go of it. Might help you see some light at the end of the tunnel x

[@tilda8940]

Thank you for making me not feel alone, I relate so much to this. I started trauma therapy aboout 1,5 months ago and it's the hardest and worst thing I've ever done♥

[@marieroseeee]

it can be difficult, I think everything we find hard its important to surface them, im trying, you're trying. that's all that matters xxxx

[@abby.v.t]

everyone is on there own path if everyone did everything at the same time the world wouldn`t cope. you have done so much and you should be proud of yourself, we are all proud of you. your still young you still have so much to give the world. my dad didnt go to university until he was in his 50`s. if you want something doesnt matter how old you are as long as you want to do it. no one has lived your life no one knows what you have been through. if you want to be something at 30 for eg but scared because everyone else has seems to be living there best life in there dream job dont be ashamed you will still be 30 and why not do something you love. hope that helps in a way and makes sense

[@kylagoodale9066]

I really did think this video was great and helped me a lot because it brings me a sense of comfort knowing someone understands what I'm going through. I think we have a lot in common when it comes to anger problems and not being the same person you are when you lose control. I understand , I'm glad you made this video I think it was a healthy thing for you to release your emotions. Love you Marie, here for you.❤

[@marieroseeee]

this means so much to me. thankyou so so much bubs. 💕

[@hillakotlovsky1463]

I can tell you that dealing with trauma and mental issues is not only about excepting the past it's also about mourning the person you could have been and knowing and accepting that you might not be that person anymore because that ship has shipped but you have the power to find out who you can be and honestly it's easier said than done let me tell you this but its a process so give yourself the time and resources to do it....

[@marieroseeee]

this is so so true, grief is so circumstantial and not really an emotion that can just disapear..

[@mirenamilotic2089]

Hey dear Marie.I am following your chanell for a long time.Your videos helped me alot,like this one too.I want you to know-it is okay to feel emotion,every one of them is valid,embarassment is one of the most hardest one,and please dont be hard on yourself for it.There is a reson for every emotion we feel even when we dont know it.What is important is to sit with it and feel it,as you already said.Yes it is extreamly hard,but girl,you are one strong individual.Youve gone through so much in life.Please,give yourself time to heal all of the pain,you really deserve it just like anyone else.We are all just humans and we make mistakes.It is okay as long as we work on it and admit it to youself and do better every time.Please know that you are one huge inspiration and my insoiration to recover and heals as well.Love you so much.Sending hugs.You are awesome,girl,never forget that.I am so glad you are still here.You are needed on thos world.❤❤🤗

[@mentalhealthwithalana]

Marie, I can really relate to you with feeling like you are left behind. I'm sorry therapy is so hard. I hope you can have more compassion for yourself hun because you are doing amazing ♥️♥️♥️

[@queenjulianalovesherfatban2064]

Exactly what I was going to say❤️❤️

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou so much :( means alto to me xxxxx

[@MyCCM13]

Marie, you don't have to be like everybody else, you are you, you can become the person you want to be and that cab look different everyday. You are good the way you are and you are on your way, hurting is part of the process. As longs as you keep going, keep trying, you will get trough this. This right now, is not forever. Look what you've been through, you are here, despite it all. You chose to fight and that's more than enough sometimes. You are working on feeling better, on finding yourself, creating yourself. You are valid, you are loved and important and you are not alone in this. It might feel like it but not all feelings are true (doesn't mean they aren't valid because they are!) You have enough time! You have enough time to move out one day, give yourself that time. Step by step. This is only the beginning and beginnings are hard. One day you look back and see that things change. You learn to cope with things differently. Keep these things, goals, close, they aren't impossible. Don't give up on yourself when you need yourself the most. Finding and creating yourself, your life, doesn't happen overnight, it's a process and that takes time, it deserves to take time. You will get there because look how far you've gotten already. It is unfair, that we have to fight for our own life but it will be worth it in the end. It doesn't always make us stronger and that's ok but one thing is sure, you have what it takes to get trough this! ❤️

[@hallewilliams3987]

You are very strong. I couldn't understand what you're going through but you are strong to be able to go through this process. I'm proud of you.

[@marieroseeee]

🥺 wow thankyou so much xx

[@hayleymarie8004]

Oh Marie.. ❤ I just want to give you a big hug. You're so amazing. I was supposed to have trauma therapy but I decided against it. So you're super strong. I'm proud of you 💖 ly beaut xxxxx

[@jessqinn7702]

Oh gosh. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being so real. And for showing how people change over time. I think I understand what you mean about the feeling embarrassed and how someone saying “you don’t need to be” does nothing. Sometimes, for me, the embarrassed feeling can be linked to shame….depending what it’s about. I love the timer thing for feelings. Sending you much encouragement for continuing the therapy. And oh man, no crutches. Far out it’s flipping hard hey. I still some of mine. Because it is terrifying to feel the shit. Keep at it. You got this.

[@jessqinn7702]

Oh, and thinking about the anger thing……it’s a fricken tough one. One thing I’ve come across in my “therapy journey” (ugh) is that underneath anger can be hurt or scared. And you kind mentioned scared when talking about the anger? And defence mechanisms going up? So is there a way to like have a “stop and pause” and ask what’s underneath the anger right now? Like if it’s with someone - and you see red and are angry towards them or whatever, is it something they said or did that had hit something inside around hurt or scared or something? (I could be way off and it’s different for you so ignore me if that’s the case) And thank you for being honest. I know I don’t know you, but I felt so much during what you shared today and wished I could have given you a hug. And I’ll let you know - you’ll get there. You will. Keep breathing. Keep going. You don’t see it all now, but you’ll get there. Therapy, definitely not glamorous. But so worth it.

[@marieroseeee]

Wow, thank you so much for this comment. It really means a lot to me that you took the time to try and understand things that I don’t even understand myself. I’m really going to try with therapy. I really want to be able to leave that place being the person I want to be and the person I want to be may not be someone who can handle anger well but maybe just someone who can handle handle anger better. It’s very strange. but thankyou so much 😭

[@josiemarie3828]

No words for this one. Lots of love to you girl 💗💗 and in terms of content, I think this part of your journey is one that gets overlooked and so while ever you’re comfortable to share, it can only do good!!! We’ve seen you go through the psych wards, crisis, “early days” recovery (and those vids help me every day some weeks don’t get me wrong) and we’re always told there’s more than that but we never actually see it or know how. I know you’ve been a bit lost with your content, but just you talking with hindsight now about the things that used to be your main content is so special! PROUD 🤍

[@marieroseeee]

wow, i feel emotional reading this 🥺 thankyou so much for taking the time to comment this! it means so much 💘

[@josiemarie3828]

@@marieroseeee I really think you’ve got so much more to say in terms of MH content than you think🥺 Of course this only applies if you want to talk about it and keep MH content in your channel. But all I’m saying is don’t ever think you’re now unable to help people or raise awareness just because you’re happier and in a new chapter - this is when you can help the most💗💗💗

[@xianthe_]

It's ok not to be ok. Let your emotions out. Crying has benefits. You're working thru difficult things, give yourself some grace. Making it thru the day is an accomplishment. You're getting stronger, even though it feels like the opposite.

[@marieroseeee]

you’re a star 🌟

[@xianthe_]

@@marieroseeee you're amazing!

[@kelskrivanek472]

Thank you for sharing such an insightful and personal video. Very proud of you Marie!

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou so much Kel 🥺

[@lucyrbuchanan]

the intro music i think i just cried a little ahhh, i love you and really missed this :) xx

[@marieroseeee]

🥺🥺🥺🥺 reallly? i’ve missed it too

[@sarahjo5570]

bby about the last bit. Everyone always feels left behind. Like yeah I graduated college and have a shitty apartment but I've literally never been in a relationship because of my anxiety and trauma. And I only JUST started working at a real job and I just turned 24 and I feel how most kids do at like 18. I'm permalonely, two of my best friends just got engaged and I'm just like putting on 100 pain patches on my back so I don't cry from backaches while I'm at work because I'm too anxious to advocate for myself. Sometimes you just gotta cry it out and feel sorry for yourself before you can pull your big girl pants up and get back to taking on the world. Doesn't mean you're any lesser than anyone else, if just makes you real.

[@Summer-hp1nw]

Hey Marie! I would love to hear how you dealt with people asking about your scars. I've had people ask me before and I never know how to deal with it. I love your videos and keep up the amazing work! 🧡🧡🧡

[@marieroseeee]

i really want to do a video about it because i think i’m so much stronger in replying to them 💕

[@sarahjo5570]

BROOOOO the embarrassment !!!! I told my therapist about it because embarrassment traumatizes me, like I'll get flashbacks, it'll make me sick, I'll cry. and she's like the only thing to do is be kind to yourself. Like that's all well and good but it literally feels like I'm on fire but the fire is judgy eyes and insults and it absolutely is the worst and there's no way to erase it or forget that feeling it NEVER goes away. So, in the meantime, you and I, we're gonna be kind to ourselves... and if my therapist figures out a way to make me stop vomiting over saying the wrong answer in 7th grade ONE TIME I'll let you know.

[@rachaelharper3778]

Love you too Marie❤️ what I do when I have negative moments I write it down then crumble the paper and putting it into the bin

[@rechidlina7545]

Omgg the old introoo is my fav 😭😭😭💚💚💚💚

[@natr5774]

THE INTRO🥺🥺 feels like a safe space x

[@sabrinavanbommel5337]

Your eyes are really pretty and I love your videos!

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou so much 💖

[@queenjulianalovesherfatban2064]

I have a really toxic cycle where for about one whole week/two weeks every time I feel sad, anxious or angry, I will just shove it to one side and try and distance myself from those emotions because it often feels easier to do that, so all my emotions just end up stacked on top of each other and then after that week/two weeks I just explode and I will burst into tears and I am just generally a massive emotional wreck. Also I take out all my suppressed feelings on the people around me which I absolutely hate, but idk what to do because I feel like if I let myself cry and feel my emotions as soon as they happen then that makes me weak but at the same time if I bottle my emotions up I just end up exploding and that also makes me feel weak so yeah. Also I just wanted to say that I could relate so much to when you said that you don't often get angry but when you do you see red, I'm exactly the same, what I do is if I'm annoyed with someone even if it's for a completely valid/reasonable reason like if someone makes an insensitive comment about my mental health/scars, instead of immediately confronting the person/letting them know that they've annoyed me, I will hide my anger because I feel like to me anyway, I see anger as an immature or childish emotion, so instead I just bottle up all my anger so when it does finally come out I become so toxic and I hate it. I admire you for being so raw and honest in this video

[@marieroseeee]

i completely understand. it’s so difficult and the anger is scary. i wish you so much love. big hugs sis xx

[@sakuram4908]

thank you so so so much for this

[@marieroseeee]

im so so happy to hear that 🥺

[@jazz2179]

Love this video!! Can relate so much to everything you're saying saying especially the anger part, that's definitely me! Well done for putting the work in. I'm quite scared of therapy tbh

[@marieroseeee]

i was terrified. but i was more scared of the person i could become if i didn’t do it. 💕

[@helena-sx6su]

I really enjoyed this type of video. Omg the anger.. that is my main emotion bit no-one ever really sees it. My therapist said let it out in the safe space with her but it is never there in the room.. so annoying because I really want to

[@marieroseeee]

It’s really strange that you say that because I last week had therapy and I allowed myself to get angrier than I normally would. It was really scary and just felt so unfamiliar because it was a safe space and normally I release anger in non-safe spaces. I don’t know if that makes sense but I think releasing a little bit at a time might be the way to go, sending love XX

[@ABenson-rq3tj]

Thank u for being so open x

[@chloeeaston8206]

I loved this video! This was very emotion to watch and had me feeling a lot! I’m so thankful for your honesty on your channel and you’ve helped me so so much over the past few years that I’ve been subscribed, love you Marie you’re the strongest person ever❤️❤️

[@marieroseeee]

this means SO much to me. 💕

[@sarahjo5570]

these are good videos to make even if you don't post them, because they help process the therapy. and like idk for me I wish therapy was like 17 hours long sometimes because I only ever scratch the tippytop of the surface in an hour. My best friend (my Pip) and I do post therapy thoughts to each other and it's honestly almost better than the therapy sometimes.

[@marieroseeee]

your comment means so much to me! you get me! thankyou. it means so much and i’m so glad i’m not the only one 🥺 sending love, yeah if i could stop being so embarrassed about the wrong answer that i gave too 😅. xxx

[@otrinolaringolog]

Please, hold on. You're strong even if you don't feel it.

[@ethanmichael17]

Yup. Not expecting to be around at this point and now its like "oh fuck now what?"

[@marieroseeee]

it’s actually a really hard thing to deal with. ☹️

[@lucyburke8724]

There’s no time limit on moving out/ getting a job etc! I’m 35 and lived in many different places and also back with parents in between! Don’t think there’s a ‘must’ for these things! Everyone progresses at different times/stages! My partner has just given up work after 20 years of solid hospitality work due to having to deal with severe Chrons, a colostomy bag recently and now mental health!! It makes you realise that just having a healthy, happy partner is all that matters!! Money and a job can wait for him right now!

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou SO much lucy, like i know these things but to hear them sAid by someone else, makes me feel less guilty! thankyou for your comment and sending love and hugs to you and your partner 💕🌸

[@Healingpath1988]

It’s hard work I’m going through it too / sending you hugs 🤗

[@rechidlina7545]

Marie know that u r so strong thank u for sharing all this with us it really helps 💚

[@marieroseeee]

i’m glad it helped abit 🥺

[@PUCCKKK]

I'm excited for your journey

[@marieroseeee]

as far as im aware its just SA trauma therapy x

[@monthetreehugger]

Love you Marie, thank you for this video 🤍

[@marieroseeee]

loving you 🌸💖

[@jasminelee1234]

Your are such a brave, honest person. Keep going.😘Side note you have such pretty eyes! 👌🏼

[@marieroseeee]

🥺💕

[@domy6827]

I've just started trauma therapy too. just working on building stability for now

[@marieroseeee]

it’s difficult but hopefully worth it!

[@beexkat]

I love this video it helps so much thank you!

[@LK-tp2le]

The two things I try to remind myself of are: 1) Making poor decisions is understandable and forgivable before you have learnt to effectively manage mental anguish and emotional pain. We are not born knowing how to do these things, we have to learn and are bound to make mistakes along the way. 2) Never regret your past. Accept it as the teacher that it is. Life is all about learning and growing. None of us are perfect. I believe that so long as we acknowledge our flaws and mistakes and work to try to improve and not repeat them in the future then we have nothing to reproach ourselves on 💕

[@marieroseeee]

I love this, like so much - THIS is what my I need my mentality to remember. thankyou!

[@Mental_health_an_Molly]

Honestly sometimes when you talk you could be talking about me 😭🙈 I'm finally doing trauma therapy will be my fourth session this week and I don't know how my therapist does it but I start talking and just don't stop about things I didn't even know I was still carrying around. I'm doing a lot of child talk witch I am struggling with and I mean talking about things that have happened to me and just full-on dissociation right there. It's hard so hard but I have hope it's going to help and we can get through it together - no one talks about the struggle of getting through your mental health and surviving but them realising the things you missed out on or things that happen that you can't undo or things you done and can't take back but we can't look back and I tell you all the time but your worth so much more then you realise and have helped so many people and I hope you see that soon 💕 I hate my younger self but I think it because thinking of her and things she went though hurts too much and not being able to help her kills me but we look to the future and I know you got this Marie and 16 year old Maria would be proud!

[@Mental_health_an_Molly]

Sorry for the ramble just it resinates so much 🙈

[@vickyrookiey9860]

Love the idea of this video! Tho it's going to kill me not knowing what you meant by boring when you was at wedding 😂😂😂😂

[@vickyrookiey9860]

How can you be boring on sari? Am I dumb 😂😂😂😂😂

[@lornatw]

Sending much love 💗 also it would be interesting to hear how your feelings and response to your body around a new environment differed or didn't to your usual surroundings and what/who helped etc. Do you think you act differently or put on a face when under pressure or perceive judgement? 💗

[@marieroseeee]

very interesting! for the first time in my life, im refusing to 'put on a face'. if people don't like me for me, then sound - its okay to not be liked. Dylans family respect me as I do to them. they accept me as I am and never ever make me feel different. the culture definitely set it aside though, but I never get ashamed of my scars anymore.. but I have been in this mentality for nearly 4 years now. it means that if Im confronted - regardless of the reason or the person, I feel very confident in being asked. I understand how difficult this is though, I remember being absolutely traumatised by my own scars, it hurts! but its a process. im sending so much love xxxx

[@lornatw]

@@marieroseeee 💗 thank you for your response, it's uplifting seeing and hearing your journey and reflections xxx

[@Jesuswalks7475]

I wish you peace and happiness. God loves you. 🤙

[@kristinab6135]

💜 your doing incredible.

[@liannemcclean1446]

I don't know if you can help me.. My 15 year old daughter is in recovery although it's a slow process.. she was in hospital for 4 months but home now since December. She is self harm free, accepting help although is completely non verbal since coming home.. She slowly stopped talking before going into hospital and spoke a few words...but nothing since coming home..is this part of trauma..plsse help

[@marieroseeee]

hi Lianne, I just want to say before we start that I actually have no qualifications in the house or anything like that however the only thing that I can really say is that you’re such an amazing mum to be commenting you know to try make your daughter better. I hope you hear this a lot more than me just saying it. Your current resilience is so incredible I’m so glad that your daughter has you and I’m so sorry for everything you must be going through. Like I said I don’t know much about things and it sounds like your daughter is obviously still struggling a lot I’m sending all my love and hugs not only do your daughter but to you too Lianne 💕

[@liannemcclean1446]

Thanks so much I appreciate your kind words.. My daughter watches your videos and I know she finds them helpful and funny to watch.. I was wondering if you knew of any support groups for teenagers with mental health and mutism.. Many thanks Lianne 🤗

[@liannemcclean1446]

P.s she only just starting using her phone again so this is why I am messaging you and I do show her any replies I get.. Thanks again x

[@alexbrown2288]

14:40 "boring"?

[@rechidlina7545]

I love u marie 😔💚💚💚

[@marieroseeee]

i love you!! 💕

[@domy6827]

i will never be like everyone else. i dropped out, i don't have a full time job, I made no plans for the future. :(

[@marieroseeee]

i feel u 😞

[@daisyasbury9593]

I'm waiting for emdr for my trauma and I've never related more to a video before. Thank you for making a video like this, makes me feel not alone

[@rosiestores6158]

Love you so so much

[@marieroseeee]

i love u xxxx

[@millie123loftus5]

I don’t like my life at the moment my cousin passed away

[@rachaelharper3778]

What the fuck am I doing… literally me 😭😭 I feel so disconnected with myself I don’t know who I am

[@neurodivergentdawn]

Love you Marie ❤️ Marie please look into ADHD. It can be a reason why women struggle to regulate their emotions. You can ask your GP to be assessed. There is a trait in both people with autism and ADHD called alexythmia which means to struggle to identify emotions - I have that too. I was diagnosed with autism at 22 earlier this year and it explains all the mental health problems I have ever had. I am also behind where I want to be in life but understanding I am neurodiverse has helped - I can be kinder to myself, find things that helps me, and meet others that understand. I hope this comment helps.

[@SerCalliope]

From my experience, people can fit a lot of different diagnoses especially those with BPD. Im one of them. I dont think its helpful to suggest diagnoses to someone you dont really know much about. In BPD DBT therapy we learn a lot about recognizing emotions because we struggle to do that. Additionally Marie has recognized emotions many many times before. She has said these things on camera. Truly just my opinion.

[@SerCalliope]

Also she said that she experienced that when she was younger. Which is a normal part of childhood and adolescence for a lot of people. She also recognized anger in this video.

[@Jesuswalks7475]

If you want to know your shadow self, ask Satan into your heart, if you want to know your light side ask Jesus into your heart, your coming to a fork in the road and the choice you make I'll change you. Just know God loves you and Jesus wants to save you at some point in your life, please understand your heading for a breakthrough, you must choose light or darkness. God doesn't want you sitting on the fence anymore, please know the choice you will make it will ultimately lead you to your destiny with God in heaven. God loves you, the good, the bad, the ugly, I'll be praying for you. God bless you sweet girl and courageous fighter, your life with God will begin like all believers once you die spiritually, to be ressurected to new life. Embrace your pain, hold onto Jesus it might be scary but that only means you want Jesus. Give up on being anyone else but you, God made you just as you are and you are lovely in his eyes. If you want to be productive with your time, spend 5 mins everyday thanking God and 2 mins reading the Bible, and your not stupid don't call yourself that, say I am happy when ...and I am beautiful just the way I am. 🙂

[@MudlarkDiggingUpTheThames]

I don't know what you meant by you were boring

[@تحديات-م8غ]

I really hope that y'will search about Islam religion . That Will change your life . You won't need a therapy again 😉

[@readjon]

The best on You Tube , I’m getting scars like you I hope

[@holly712]

Pls delete this comment

[@readjon]

@@holly712 why ? Marie is a positive influence

[@buckleupbuckaroos1204]

@@readjon she doesn’t endorse or glamourise self harm, nor does she encourage it. she encourages people to be confident in their bodies. why would you *want* that anyway? i think you need to leave the internet and speak to someone about this

[@readjon]

@@buckleupbuckaroos1204 I didn’t say she did , she’s an inspiration . Chill

[@readjon]

@@buckleupbuckaroos1204 I think you are entitled to your opinion as am I . I am confident with the scars