Reasons Not to Care

[@vlogbrothers]

Hi. Here's the Washington Post story about maternal mortality in Sierra Leone: www.washingtonpost.com/world/interactive/2022/sierra-leone-maternal-mortality/ If you're able to donate, join the thousands of nerdfighter donors to our project in Sierra Leone: pih.org/hankandjohn Thanks for being here with us. -John

[@malakchakir2469]

Hello my friends, I hope you can help me. I beg you because of my harsh circumstances and the death of my husband. My daughter and I live in miserable conditions, but my problem is that you are engaged and her marriage is close, I swear to you, I do not want to shame her in front of her husband's family.

[@Babelfroggy]

Thanks for the link. Unfortunately I don't do twitter anymore, so I often miss out on articles like this that are shared.

[@sexyscientist]

John, it's a subscription trap.

[@untappedinkwell]

@@sexyscientist Try incognito mode, and if that fails, you can also check and see if your library provides access (some of them do!). Also I'm sure some of the nerdfighters out there will have a workaround shortly.

[@Julia_and_the_City]

Unfortunately the Washington Post sits behind a paywall that is rather hard to circumvent by people from the European Union - however, with everything you've told me in this 4 minute video and others, I don't need this news article to futher motivate me to care.

[@csn583]

"This isn't about whether someone should have expected pregnancy, this is about whether someone should expect to survive pregnancy." Legitimate chills.

[@catherinecrawford3058]

My mom was an OB nurse for over 42 years. I read that in her voice.

[@RandomerThanAverage]

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[@andermerful]

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[@shvelgud]

I can’t lie, if you live in a country that has EXTREMELY high maternal death rates maybe you shouldn’t have sex like come on that doesn’t seem like a totally out landish claim to make does it? If pregnancies KILL then maybe don’t have sex? And before anyone says something like “oh so just because they live in a poor country with bad healthcare means they have to stop having sex that’s so ignorant and bigoted” my response is no. They don’t HAVE to cut out sex completely, but if you’re having sex in a country where pregnancies often mean death don’t be surprised after having sex when you’re pregnant, and facing death

[@andermerful]

@@shvelgud you’re assuming that young woman consented to have that sex which is a BIG assumption. The US is also a dangerous place to give birth, and it’s only getting more so. “Just don’t have sex” is literally never, ever the solution you think it is, and always incredibly offensive.

[@biancar5763]

"Maternal mortality has declined 10 percent in the last 5 years." wow. This success rate alone is a reason to care.

[@evanbelcher]

But of course, caring is a prerequisite to success and so must precede it.

[@HashSl1ng1ngSlasher]

Thats only since 2017!

[@risxra]

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[@CharlieQuartz]

@@evanbelcher Correct. People who start to care now can make the rates of success even higher in the future.

[@prsh5673]

Percent or percentage points?

[@bina.k]

"if a person or a cause has to pass some imagined purity test in order to receive our compassion and attention, we won't be able to extend our compassion to anyone, including ourselves". i've never heard the questioning of someone's morality before caring about them put as a "purity test" before but oml that's exactly what it is!

[@akshayde]

I wonder if we are doing the same with the amber johnny fiasco

[@heatherstock4491]

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[@conqu2]

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[@EcceJack]

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[@davidkraus5221]

This immediately brought tears to my eyes, there should be no barrier to compassion

[@ernest3286]

For those who didn't read it, the reason she was "unexpectedly pregnant" is because she was told by someone she trusted that she couldn't get pregnant. If you're given bad information by someone you trust, how can you be expected to know better? You simply have to hope that someone will correct you. So, for all of you out there who were given bad information by someone you trust-something like "there's no such thing as an unexpected pregnancy" or "abortion is immoral under all circumstances," or even "we should treat people cruelly because we believe differently from them"-here's your loving correction: Think critically, put yourself in someone else's shoes, and always, always be kind.

[@llearch]

So.. there's a need for Planned Parenthood type education/information/protection supply, in Sierra Leone, as well as a need for the work on minimizing maternal mortality. That's not good to hear. :-/

[@untappedinkwell]

​@@llearch That's actually what the Maternal Center of Excellence (the facility John mentions this community, in collaboration with Partners in Health, is building) is working to do: provide care to expecting moms who need it, provide education to families and women who need it, and provide access to birth control to people who need it. They're also hoping to use it as a teaching hospital to expand the number of trained professionals in the country so that they can help as many people as possible.

[@Astra_the_dragon_uwu]

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[@donaldwert7137]

I'm pretty sure the applicable slogan is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Valid and understandable across all religious beliefs and cultures.

[@OrWhatWeHave]

​@@llearch it's primary preventative healthcare - i.e. better sexual health education contraceptive access directly reduce maternal mortality.

[@PhaythGaming]

John, I spoke to an elderly woman at work who was in the hospital recovering. She was reading your book, and we found something in common some 70 years apart. The fact I can share something in common with people who I have nothing else in common with (even the human experience has changed so much in that much time). That fact is a reason to care.

[@PhaythGaming]

I feel I should explain that I'm not saying this in direct relation. I just think that beautiful moment reminds me that all people deserve some empathy. There are beautiful connections and important truths in every situation.

[@SmokeyEdits]

One of my best friends when I was a kid (

[@lu59999]

which one was it? :)

[@PhaythGaming]

@@lu59999 the fault in our stars.

[@PhaythGaming]

@@SmokeyEdits this was a beautiful story. Thank you. I'm sure no matter her state then, or now, she was deeply thankful to have the time she had with you.

[@francescakyanda9182]

I feel like there are too many people with the “they deserve it” mentality…like okay, the situation is outside your realm of understanding, but don’t be needlessly cruel about things you can’t fathom

[@spacey-sam]

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[@solgato5186]

it's trained dehumanisation

[@sarap9431]

They need to believe that "they deserve it" so that they can believe that they themselves do not. It's a selfish reaction to empathy. They see it's bad and it scares them that something that bad can happen and they need to protect themselves from thinking bad things can happen to them too. Fear makes a lot of people needlessly cruel. It's really sad.

[@videoshomepage]

People need to act responsibly. Don't get unexpectedly pregnant.

[@videoshomepage]

@@solgato5186 No, people expect others to act responsibly. Fooling around and getting unexpectedly pregnant is a Huge mistake.

[@sissysvids]

I’m trying to figure out how you see a motherless teenager whose life is at risk and your first thought be “what an idiot.” I’m so grateful to be in a position to donate to PIH and even more grateful for the work they do. Thanks, Green brothers, for introducing this organization to us.

[@Chillerll]

They did not say „what an idiot“ though. I feel like your comment it kind of missing the point of this video. It’s not about being upset about this person, it’s about understanding why they reacted this way and why it’s problematic.

[@miriam4235]

I've read people tend to victime blame to make themselves feel safe. "The person must have done something stupid to deserve this, so the same thing can't happen to me, because I am sensible" It gives people a sense of safety and control in a world where bad things just can happen to anybody. It doesn't make victim blaming any less shitty, It does help me understand why people do it.

[@admiralpaco507]

It fits into the "just world fallacy" as well, something all of us buy into to some degree, but many use as their foundational understanding of how the world works.

[@therrydicule]

This is a false sense of security. Everyone does stupid shit all the time. I'm doing stupid shit right now by answering to this post...

[@sccrespoc]

Thanks for sharing this, it helps me to understand people with which I find difficult to talk.

[@LeopardMask12]

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[@B1CL0PS]

This is why most people aren't afraid of driving in cars despite it being one of the most dangerous things we regularly do. "*I'm* a good driver so *I* won't get in a crash -- all those other crashes were the fault of the driver." By contrast, planes are very safe but their failures are totally beyond our control, so they are scary. (Fear of flying actually has a lot of sources but this is certainly one factor)

[@colonelb]

For me, studying history increases my compassion. It's not that 1 in 20 women die in childbirth in Sierra Leone because Sierra Leone is mismanaging something, it's that they haven't had access to the same resources that have saved women's lives in the rest of the world. That WAS the average rate of women dying in childbirth over the WHOLE WORLD for MOST of human history. The only reason that seems odd to us here in the USA is because we've made huge medical advances in the last 150 years that haven't made their way to the whole world yet which is what we're actively trying to do now. Same with the unexpected part - it's easy to conclude that when you've normalized easy access to birth control and pregnancy tests but again, that's only been reliable in the last 50 years or so, but so many of those things we take for granted and therefore judge others on here aren't the same in other places of the world. The more we realize that how we are living today is NOT the typical human's experience and are grateful for it, the kinder we can all be towards each other.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

So much the same on studying history and the same for myself. I had a bit of a rude awakenin at 10 to the injustices of this world that most dont see and then the next yr 9/11 happened and whole my biofam was instantly xenophobic about it all, and in general the vibe of the area was the same. At this same time, i was findin school to be a singular place of solace bcuz i didnt feel comfy at home (cuz of what happened when i was 10) and i also found it rly hard to make friends. But i absolutely loved learning even then, esp learning other ppls stories; which is what history truly is. And between that and progressive fantasy stories, i saw that the way the world is isnt just some natural order of things; but is instd the work of countless ppl across history who worked to make change. At the time i def had a more grt man view of history, but i feel tho that such a view did help me personally to envision myself as a potential changer of history; bcuz i imagined that i myself cud make some incredible story that wud be recorded for others to learn of alongside Tesla and Marie Curie. One of the things i did start to learn by rly listenin to the history books i was readin was start to notice the themes includin how so often nations wud respond xenophobically to the smallest slight by other ppl and war wud brk out; as was literally happenin at the same time. And id alrdy heard the phrase "history repeats itself" and i saw that literally to be true in my view of things. By high school i was aware enuf to consider myself a communist, which hasnt rly changed much since tho i nowadays just stick to the term leftist cuz of folks bein propagandised to belief communism bad. I remember arguin with many history teacher about things like the merits of communism during certain pts in our history lessons. There was one particular one tho who didnt personally challenge me on it but also warned me that in college if i had a teacher that disagreed with my pts that theyd no doubt mark me down for my claims not fitting the established view. I ofc was stubborn and kept to my ways, and somehow didnt take the hint i rly shudve majored in history instd of what i did end up doin over in Maths related stuff xD The best part of all this tho is that fast forward a decade from then and i see that teacher on fb and send him a friend request cuz i see the dude is very leftist and has several other former students who are friends of mine as friends. And since then that teacher has only shown himself to be more and more leftist; and nvr once had any issues when i came out as trans after that. Prty sure he was talkin from personal exp when he spoke of how college teachers wud react to communist viewpoints in essays, heh.

[@silverandexact]

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[@Oli.V]

Exactly. I’ve been working towards my anthropology degree for the last handful of years and just bones can make you feel more empathy for a person than I ever do through a screen. It’s easy to tell if someone was a mother because there will be hairline fracture scars (or even full breaks) on their hips. Even in the best of births (excluding the modern c section) the stress the act puts on your body threatened to break one of the sturdiest bones you have. And those are the women that survived the birth. There are plenty of burials where there are two skeletons, a mother and their unborn baby. There are so many of these that it’s not even really of note in archaeology. There are cemeteries in Europe full of neonates, all buried with the same ceremony as adults. It’s heart breaking and hurting to know that even though we as “developed” nations have minimized this result that this is still a reality for many many people all these years later.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Sierra Leone has had it tough. They faced a decade of brutal civil war. They faced the Ebola epidemic. That's all in the past but people the repercussions last, and that's why people have to face a lack of healthcare resources today. We learn history so we know how to recover from it.

[@risxra]

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[@ilanag6096]

We also end up arguing the wrong point when someone brings up their reason for not caring. My instinctive response to the tweet was "there are at least half a dozen ways to get pregnant unexpectedly!" But as john so eloquently put a second later, that's not where our focus should lie. And we all end up furious about a (relatively speaking) superfluous conversation.

[@Margaretfogs]

I’m working on opening a children’s bookstore, and have been feeling like the mission is missing something - I think I’m going to find a way to work into giving and supporting causes I care about, like maternal mortality. Compassion & caring has such an important place in business!

[@sissysvids]

What an amazing idea. Good luck with your bookstore!

[@emilyscloset2648]

But I would also argue, that the intense capitalistic system of which we live in limits what compassion can be in business. Arguably that makes the cause more noble, but still difficult. Good luck, kind stranger!

[@Margaretfogs]

@@emilyscloset2648 very true!! Especially for a new business with fairly small profit margins… it won’t be much, but it’ll be something.

[@sccrespoc]

@@Margaretfogs something is way better than nothing

[@astonishingmelanie]

That is terrific. Even if you can't donate a large amount, every bit helps.

[@mymusicfixx]

This story makes my heart hurt. Pregnancy and childbirth is a terrifying process even for adults with access to adequate medical care.

[@NeaeraNeaeraNeaera]

"If our way out of having limited empathy is to deny or minimize the suffering of others, we are doing them and ourselves a great disservice." -John Green John, you have been putting concepts into beautiful words and prose that I have been grappling with to find ways of sorting out and expressing. Thank you. I see this in the world of animal care, training, rescue. Both towards animals and the people who are involved. I really hope that I can help the industry become more supportive to both animals and their humans as much as you help people all over the world.

[@Floytie]

Hi, John! I've never been this early, so maybe now is the time you'll finally see: Thank you so much for your constant inspiration and the hope you give me for this world. The Anthropocene Review got me through some difficult times and gave me the courage to write about the mundane and see it as beautiful. This helps me view myself the same. Thank you for being there for all these years.

[@alarcon99]

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[@brianneblaisdell8289]

Amen. Thank you for sharing, and thank you for your humanity, John!

[@fictionalhuman]

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[@Isabelle-ud2df]

amen.

[@arillusine]

I really liked the way John tackled this because the reaction to try and find a reason not to care seems to leave us all feeling a bit more impoverished of our ability to be human. I’ve noticed it in myself when I catch myself doing it, so thank you for bringing it up. It’s a good reminder on those days when it feels easier to react instead of think.

[@Liliquan]

It’s always disturbing to watch someone associate being a certain way with being human. Essentially implying that if someone isn’t the way I expect (i.e not sufficiently compassionate) then they’re either not human or a defective human. It also implies that it’s a state particular to humans which defines humans hence not found or common among other animals.

[@melindaellington7201]

As a non-profit worker who is undergoing her Master's in Public Policy, this was just what I needed to hear. Empathy is a superpower that the human species was given, and is too often squandered. Thank you for what you do. It helps so many people.

[@samaraisnt]

Yes its SO hard in our field to mention to so called normal people outside of humanitarian work like, *Children are dying for no reason* and most people just look at you and shrug. "Why should I care?" it hurts but it's worth it.

[@sarahmaxel7190]

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[@bgorg1]

Melinda, same field here. Is empathy simply having the ability to understand what it would be like to be in another’s position, or does empathy require action? I think it is the former though I hope I would have the resource to do the later. But I am not sure that superpower has unlimited capacity. It may run low or be divided across a spectrum of circumstances, this diluted. I think this is why humans find reasons to not express care - we develop ways to maximize the empathy we have in ways that seem reasonable.

[@frogmorely]

“…if a person or a cause has to pass some imagined purity test in order to receive our compassion and attention, we won’t be able to extend our compassion to anyone, including ourselves.” Very nicely said.

[@justyourlocalrat_]

"if a person or a cause has to pass some imagined purity test in order to receive our compassion and attention, we won't be able to extend our compassion to anyone, *including ourselves*." So well said. I found that as I work to extend more compassion to myself it also forces me to extend more compassion to the world and vice versa. That's sometimes a very difficult link to deal with, esp since outrage and a feeling of superiority are such comforting fuels. But I sure feel a lot less helpless when I work on confronting my ego that way, and I do think it puts a lot more good into the world than me screaming on Twitter. Thank you for helping me direct my attention inward instead of being angry at the world. Also thank you for giving me the final push with this video to donate to PIH again.

[@cheshirecat512]

there's a line from the internet that i've been parroting for a while, "i don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people." i appreciate you explaining /why/ we should care about other people. starting with "why" instead of "if" reframes everything. 💜🖖🙅

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

That's a great quote.

[@miacoss9809]

I understand peoples' need not to care online, like you said, John, we cannot care about everything. What I struggle with is when people try to convince others not to care. Who are you, random internet person, to tell me that I should not have compassion for another human being?

[@greeneyesgirl467]

Because they don't want to feel alone in their perusiites not to care...so they have to convince others as well

[@zmanzono]

I think this video does what some of the best John Videos do: reference a topical issue while getting at a deeper, more fundamental point. It calls for empathy not just with abortion or maternal mortality in developing countries, but empathy in order to understand ALL people as complicated and potentially flawed individuals.

[@deborahmoyo6299]

Opening this I thought it was going to be a totally different message, because very recently I’ve been looking for reasons not to care (because I’ve suffered a burnout on multiple levels). But thank you for the video John, there are many reasons to care within my own capacity. That “thank you for caring” was the nail in the coffin for my realisation.

[@zmanzono]

I've been burned out a lot too recently and I've found various coping strategies but all I can recommend is finding something that works for you. Care about the world through your self care, or focus on one thing and trust others to work on the rest, or give yourself a vacation before coming back just as strong. Whatever works.

[@alicianoriegavelasco6114]

Burn out is real, and it does deserve your attention. It is important to remember though that if handled appropriately, burn out is also temporary. You wouldn't expect yourself to go without sleep or food in order to continue working for a cause you care about deeply; but we sometimes expect ourselves to focus permanently on the issues, even when our stores of empathy are dwindling. It is ok to take a break when needed, be it for physical or emotional rest. Not caring won't solve burnout, if anything it will make it worse, as it will have you making poorer choices that will further exhaust you. Continuing to care but realising that your empathy is a necessary resource to make a difference, and that pausing work to go find more of it is the only way to do more work later leads you to show some empathy to yourself, and actually find things that make you better.

[@deborahmoyo6299]

@@alicianoriegavelasco6114 thank you so much❤️‍🩹 I needed to hear that I’ve been contemplating a further break the main social media app I use mainly for school and friends but I’m taking the break. Thank you❤️❤️❤️

[@anonxnor]

I've been getting thank-you-emails from partners in health for a few months now. But stories like these, and how you reflect around them in these videos, is what actually makes it feel worthwhile to donate. Helping others, even just a little bit, helps me. Thank you ❤

[@tlucas1466]

John, you are the voice of hope that our modern society needs. Thank you for so eloquently addressing the issue AND providing a meaningful solution ❤️

[@firefly-fez]

I am reading through Paul Farmer’s “To Repair The World” with a friend of mine who works in medicine. I introduced her to the term “structural violence” this week. And I love that term so much. The idea that I’ll never grieve the death of a stranger as much as my own family has never sat well with me, as much as I recognise its practical truth. For one thing, I am a Christian who believes we are all children of God, so I really don’t believe in the idea of a ‘stranger’ at its core. But more to the point if this video: it is all to easy to draw the line wherever it won’t hurt YOU. You will always be willing to accept the price of suffering if you know; however unconsciously, you won’t be the one paying. It is that bias which, in my view, fuels structural violence. We look away because we can. We do not do the work of holding up the sky because we know it will not fall ON US if we don’t. That choice is all together too easy to make. I always have believed something along these lines - when I was a kid, my parents sponsored a child in India; Kaliswari, and we wrote letters to each other back and forth for ten years. We became firm friends. I remember once, she wrote me a letter asking me to pray for her because she had a medical checkup at the centre and her haemoglobin levels were low. I was very alarmed, but being 12 or 13 at the time, I had no idea what haemoglobin was, so I looked it up. I realized it was often low because of low iron levels, and that we get iron from our food. That’s when it clicked that I probably shouldn’t have been surprised to find out she was sick. She was poor. She didn’t have enough food. Not enough food = not enough iron. It was the first time it really clicked that it is possible to be sick BECAUSE you are poor. I haven’t heard from her since 2016; when the program I sponsored her through was discontinued due to increasing persecution of Christianity in India. I do not know how she is. I do not know if she is married or unmarried. I do not know if she survived the COVID-19 pandemic. I know she never finished her education; and I swore that whatever I make of mine; it will be for children like her. Recently, I found myself on the other side of that line. I was diagnosed with ADHD two months ago. It was a delayed diagnosis (I’m 23), due in part to inequal research into ADHD presentations in women. In that 2 months, I have contacyed 5 psychiatrists, all of whom are rejecting ADHD patients on principle because stimulant medications are highly regulated and they don’t have the resources necessary to provide treatment to ADHD patients. It is wrong here, (Australia, in my case) but it is and always was wrong there too. We always draw the line wherever it won’t cross us, and we are very, very wrong to do so. I’ll always be grateful to Paul Farmer and PIH for giving me so much more context around the trials of kids like Kaliswari and how to help them; right down to the term “structural violence”.

[@dontjayjayme]

this has helped me understand so much about peoples - and my own - behaviour, thank you.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

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[@kolt9051]

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[@firefly-fez]

@@dontjayjayme I am glad it is helpful to you, you are very welcome. I feel like I should give the disclaimer that 1) This is just my personal views on the subject and 2) I did write this as a way of venting at, in my timezone ~3am. ADHD is so often a condition that gets neglected because it’s “not as common” as other disorders. People seem to have this idea that a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects 1 in 20 people just doesn’t need to be included in any degree of depth in the education of psychologists or psychiatrists because it is “uncommon” and “anxiety and depression are the most prevalent mental health disorders.” Which is just…. Any undiagnosed condition; be it bipolar, schizophrenia, ADHD, Autism, what have you will result in higher rates of depression and anxiety if they go untreated and the idea that you can only get effective treatment if you condition gets ‘severe’ enough just REQUIRES people to get worse to get help and- See? See, I’m venting again. It’s too damn hard to find mental health specialists who are equipped to deal with anything other than anxiety and depression. *sigh*

[@lunacouer]

@@firefly-fez Just wanted to reach out a hand in solidarity, to affirm that yes, this is frustratingly hard, as well as just a general "Hey, you aren't alone in this". It's understandable to want to vent, especially in a comment section of empathetic people who are talking about why it's good to care. More and more women are getting late diagnosis' of ADHD (hi 👋🏻 diagnosed at 48) because it's the first time researchers and clinicians are saying "Whoa whoa whoa, wait. I think we kinda missed a couple generations of girls because we always focused on the disruptive-to-others parts of this". I'm greatly oversimplifying, but it's a big part of it. And you're right, it's a bad treatment policy to not catch or treat it, because it leads to then worsening depression and/or anxiety. I'm sorry the psychiatrists in your area won't take this condition on. ADHD meds are highly regulated here in the US too, but not with the fine-tooth comb as something like opiate medication (pain is notoriously hard to get treatment for here), so they tend to get prescribed more willingly. It's the insurance that's more the hard part. I had no idea it was that hard in Australia to find treatment for it. Doctors not wanting to deal with the extra paperwork, or risk their licenses, or researchers having unconscious sexism, or politicians over-regulating necessary medications, or general miseducation on how debilitating this can be - all structural violence. I really hope you can find the care you deserve. I wish I had something better to say than that, but I really do.

[@junks345]

I see your tears just behind your eyes. It's sad that there are and will always be people with such a narrow perspective to only see it as her problem and not ours. I was once there myself, I have grown and changed and we can hope that those who cast the blame will too.

[@samaraisnt]

Exactly. It's OUR problem, we as humans.

[@combogalis]

I just love that you saw a mean tweet and thought to really consider why anyone would tweet such a thing. Schools should have classes on how to handle the internet and your videos should help form the basis of the curriculum.

[@The_Serpent_of_Eden]

This is a great idea. It comes back to reading comprehensionand basic literary skills, as well as critical thinking and problem solving. These skills are not being taught adequately in schools. Our species needs a literate, educated populace to survive.

[@MOO276]

John actually did a CrashCourse series on this exact topic called Navigating Digital Literacy that I highly recommend

[@greeneyesgirl467]

"Reasons not to care..." is the best way I have ever heard describe one of the biggest issues in our country...finding reasons not to care...😮‍💨

[@smithhenke5049]

this is the reminder i needed today that even though i cannot do Everything, i can definitely do Something. and the Something i can do will matter. Somewhere, to Someone.

[@viviantompkins7925]

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[@brooklyn__________]

My mother died in childbirth 20 years ago to me, if I were to get pregnant I would be high risk, in fact I was pregnant, unexpectedly. I was SAed in 12th grade when I was 17 and my safest option was abortion. I simply cannot imagine going through that without the healthcare I was privileged enough to have. It is just so hard to even imagine. I suppose there is no enlightening thought that most of the other comments under Here have had. Just that I’ve been in her shoes. I’ve been donating to Project for Awesome and people Partners in Health for a long time and I’ve commented it under every video about maternal mortality but THANK YOU FOR CARING! ♥️♥️ DFTBA

[@untappedinkwell]

Thank you for being here and caring with us.

[@dwtardisallonsy]

I really appreciate this reminder that ambivalence combined with cynicism can be a means of furthering injustice. In all honesty, I am very prone to falling into a doom scroll and it is not uncommon for that to make me feel dark and gloomy and useless but after watching this, I’m reconsidering the way that I approach “the news” and information about strangers’ suffering. If I shut myself off from my empathy, I shut myself off from humanity.

[@SoNoFTheMoSt]

I saw an older gentleman carrying his shopping while i was working in Peterborough last week, he was extremely thin and clearly struggling, i went over to him and asked if he needed help, he was VERY reluctant at first but eventually let me carry a 4 pint bottle of milk, after about 10 seconds i insisted on carrying the heavier bag and he begrudgingly let me carrying it, after talking for a minute or 2 he expressed how uncommon it is to see people helping others out and i think its probably the first time anyone's ever helped him even though hes clearly lived there for years and has to walk very far to an affordable shop. i carried the shopping to his sheltered housing complex where he had to buzz himself in, i could tell he was a bit anxious to buzz himself in while i was there, just in case, so i left the bag a walked over rather quickly, i would have much preferred to carry them up to his flat but these days i completely understand why he wouldnt want to and people who help others can often be doing it for terrible reason. I understand how people might feel helpless but the point of my story is there are people in your community right now who are struggling in some way if you cant help with the big causes start closer to home. If you are struggling with mental health the most positive thing you can do is help others, it works miracles.

[@pessimistkai5569]

You are awesome!

[@farhavens]

vlog brothers videos help me care about things i otherwise wouldn't know about

[@rachelmcnally8144]

This was a beautifully written video but I cannot hear the words 'everything all of the time' without singing the Bo Burnham song in my head

[@jamesflesher]

So grateful for how succinctly you speak to, and with, the need for compassion in just a few minutes.

[@littlestbroccoli]

It feels so freaking good to know my money is going to help this cause, finally, after years of not being able to contribute. I tried to make up for lost time this year. You guys are astounding in what you aim for and achieve. Thank you for being here with us in this wacky space science experiment.

[@asc0101]

Thank you for making this John, you always remind and challenge me to imagine others both completely and with generosity

[@melsar93]

Balancing when and how we care about issues feels like one of the biggest challenges of the day. We have to care about others if we want to keep our humanity, but we also have to care about ourselves. This isn't the first time this thought has been discussed here and I doubt it will be the last.

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

Caring about others helps us care for ourselves too, in some ways.

[@Cerise4697]

Twitter and social media makes it so easy to dismiss other people's struggles, especially because so much of that culture revolves around "dunking" and getting your short funny quip in before actually engaging with the topic at hand. It's more clout-chasing if you get to look like a funnyman on top of giving everyone else a reason to limit their own empathy, because everyone is tired of feeling like they have to care about everything that passes their newsfeed. For everyone who doesn't subscribe to that mindset, thank you for caring, and take care of yourselves.

[@teppi5119]

The Canadian geese are eating my grass and you gave me hope again. Good day. 🙏

[@sarahmaxel7190]

Thank you for articulating this, it is often hard to find the words when people begin to fall back on those kinds of comments

[@Princess_May]

Your videos are always so insightful and calm and human, as a young person still navigating the world I really appreciate them.

[@kevinkelley2313]

PERFECT. Thank you. Spread as much caring and clear thinking as possible.

[@jubugs92]

I just joined awesome socks club! The work y’all have done to support partners in health is so great. I’ll continue to care and call out people who minimize the suffering of others. Thanks for another great and thought provoking video.

[@DanielHoffmanddhoffman]

This is just to say thanks to all who make the everyday choices to care and to act on it. For you who wake up to the tedious task of iterative change and go to work armed with love and mercy, it's an honor to be witness.

[@untappedinkwell]

thank you for your kind words.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Wow. I just read that Washington Post story and I think that's the first time I've ever cried at a news article. Heart-wrenching.

[@AlfredSperedelozzi]

I never regret listening to what you have to say. Thanks.

[@hydroquakev]

This is one of your most powerful and engaging videos I’ve seen. Thank you John.

[@WhiteSpatula]

You articulate logic beautifully. It urks me to no end when I hear people rationalize apathy and condescension with shamelessly hypocritical vicariously retrospective morality. As if, from the comfort of relative ease within the shitshow of competitive human survival, it was ever their prerogative to accuse someone else of trying to feel better. When it’s their own daughter, she made a mistake, she forgot about God in a moment, whatever excuse it takes. But anyone else’s daughter should have known better than to attempt to find momentary respite from the torrent of life’s displeasures with one of life’s miserly few pleasures. Spare a thought for the possibility that she was merely the victim of someone else’s son on a similar but more urgently callous mission. I’d respect such hypocrites more if they’d simply declare their apathy truthfully rather than pretend to care so deeply about moral concerns which they reserve the right to toggle freely about the axis of regard and disregard within their own lives. And then of course I would invite them and their truthfully declared apathy to shush, and get on with their superior survival before dying.. like other true animals do. -Phill, Las Vegas

[@risxra]

Hank made a video some time around ten years ago called “too much love will KILL YOU” that shares a lot of very similar sentiments to this one. I come back to that video because I sometimes feel guilty that I /don’t/ grieve the losses of every human who dies in the world every day like I would my family or close friends. It is *so* important to care, but it’s also important to focus that care so you can actually do something about it. That’s the thing that helps me out of a rut (probably described well by the Sad Gap): if I’m debilitated by how upset I am by everything that’s going on in the world, I can’t do anything to help.

[@kenzgitz9884]

There's another video that John made about The Catcher in The Rye by JD Salinger where he talks about empathy being limited and how humans are self centered but that's normal. It's a boundary or a survival mechanism. That's why art and literature and symbolism that gives us clues to characters' personalities and feelings are so important because it gets us out of ourselves so we can learn how to "empathize with each other enough, to take care of each other enough, to get through this veil of tears."

[@shadowrigg]

Watching this video refilled my cup at a time I didn't realize how much I needed it. Thank you John.

[@thedude20125]

My second child turns 4 weeks old today, a happy healthy but BIG baby boy. However at the end of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy neither he or my wife would probably be here today if it wasn't for an emergency c-section. I'm so privileged to live in a time and a place where all that is is a hiccup and a little bit of extra recovery time for my wife and in a few more weeks something that could have been devastating gets to be something we get to more or less forget about. I'm so proud to be part of a community that's working to make this a reality for people who aren't as privileged as I am. As always you have my respect and you have what money I can spare.

[@quasalor1480]

Thank you so much for this important balancing video to the Sad Gap one. Both are incredibly important to have discussed in clear and explicit language the way you have even though the themes appear to be contrasting.

[@rickkwitkoski1976]

Thank you again, John, for a wonderfully CARING vlog! Everything that you do is worthwhile and helpful... to SOMEONE!

[@SilverFlame819]

Thank you for continuing to try, John. You're a good person. I appreciate you using your brain, time, and effort to help the world.

[@jessaryansutter9902]

Thank you, John, for this video. It’s especially helpful for me to hear someone who I know also cares very deeply about our global community engage in a conversation about why that care is important and how to navigate it in a way that is realistic and draw on it in a way that’s useful- all without being overcome by the outrage that I have found myself struggling with constantly. You somehow remain both measured and passionate, an ability I deeply admire and hope to grow within myself.

[@encartech]

You sir, a very decent human being

[@clairezalla]

I was once in a small town in Benin with USAID, and we met some villagers there who showed us a fun chant that was all the methods of contraception from shots to condoms, pills, and calendar planning. I was shocked because they knew more about contraception than I did until I got to college (I came from a very conservative public school district and religious background). I guess what I'm trying to say is in this case it was a young African woman who didn't have access to good information, but it just as easily could have been me, a young American woman. It's all about your community and the resources, educational and medical, that you have access to. Thank you, PIH and others for doing this important work!

[@Rebecca-yb7bt]

Thank you for caring. Thank you for building a community of careful attention and kind acts. The advocacy work you do is life changing and heart warming. Thank you.

[@nainahasbi1177]

every now and then John reminds why we all love him so much and this video for me did the same

[@austinisawesome2066]

Wow, once again I was expecting to hear a different kind of video entirely (no surprise because of todays internet climate) but was pleasantly surprised to hear very thoughtful and compelling arguments that dodge controversy and seek to unite people despite their differing beliefs. Thank you John and Hank for staying a voice of reason amongst the chaos.

[@ademonslayer7130]

THIS! I'm so glad you put this into words!

[@JukeboxTheGhoul]

My way of being empathetic to a lot of people without being paralysed by it, is to funnel the empathy (and anger) in to fighting the systems that cause their suffering. For example, if I read about the impending catastrophe of the overturning of Roe I funnel my emotions in to helping or donating shrapnel to relevant charities, telling people about feminism and ways we could vote (among other tactics) to reinstate abortion rights. I read about ways change happened in the past and how they did it, to take ideas for us in the modern day. I am small but together we are strong.

[@aerospacenews]

John @vlogbrothers, once again, thank you for this warm bowl of humanity served up before the menu of horror that is life on earth these days.

[@ellepardue]

There is something about the way you speak that makes me really like you. That being said, thanks for articulating this so beautifully and rationally. I appreciate the way you think.

[@isabelleblake8732]

you’ve turned this story into an incredibly patient and kind lesson for us - i’ve come to expect nothing less, but i am still always so grateful when you do so. thank you for caring and for giving us guidance and resources to care, too

[@EveRosser]

Thanks John, congratulations on your work! Absolutely heartwarming to hear

[@alexandriagartman3620]

I would rather give someone a kindness when they don’t need it than to not give one when they do. Kindness cost me absolutely nothing. It can mean everything to someone.

[@untappedinkwell]

++++

[@maulakai]

Thanks, John

[@SewlockHolmes]

Something your videos remind me every time (and, let's be honest, helped to teach me in the first place) is that the world is full of different people in different parts of their lives with different views on the world. They are all worth the effort it takes to view them with compassion. Definitely not all at once but thankfully in the small trickle as they come into and leave my life. I try to look with the lens of compassion and, while I may stumble sometimes, it's always worth it to get back up and try again.

[@suzilahlah]

I get serious chills when I listen to you. I can only dream of being half as articulate. You say the words how I want to say them but I sound buffoon-ish when I try. Thank you

[@allyson87]

one of the most powerful functions of victim blaming is that it makes us feel safe and control. if "bad things happen only to the deserving", then we don't have to worry about similar things happening to us

[@cynhanrahan4012]

I choose to keep this in my care about box. That box is pretty full these days, and I get tired and overwhelmed. But the work you all have done is paying off, and is a model for the rest of the planet in empathetic activism. Thank you.

[@jeffreymaher3161]

John, thank you for helping me to expand the limits of my empathy, and giving me reasons to care. Your words help me see through the glass a little less dimly, and in learning to practice greater compassion with others, I too believe we learn to practice greater compassion with ourselves.

[@valerymarier247]

Thanks for the thoughtful video John. I think that is is important to humanize these issues and create communities and methods to help us all both understand these issues and feel less overwhelmed by them. While there can be a limit to empathy, that doesn't mean that the empathy that you can give worthless. If anything, empathizing with these issues makes us more capable of being a, as Mr. Rogers would put it, helper of the world.

[@yeldarBkereD]

I’ll be honest, I started watching this expecting the regular KZbin influencer brow beating, but John (as usual) actually gives nuance, perspective, and a thorough birds eye view of this entire situation. John, I know I’ll probably never get to meet you in real life, but I’m genuinely honored to get to experience your discussions on a regular basis. Keep being the lighthouse of life that you are.

[@finneganjohn3249]

Well said. This might be the most well-articulated vlogbrothers video I’ve seen, which is really saying something.

[@spacey-sam]

It’s really easy to find reasons not to care nowadays for the reasons you said, because we’re so flooded with problems and tragedies, but I think that gives us all the more reason to try to care

[@williamstollery8326]

I haven't watched vlogbrothers for about 8 years now, since I fell out of KZbin. I still watch almost no content on this site. I have been watching every vlogbrothers video for the past month on-day-of-upload. I have no idea what's changed in my life, or Hank & John's, but they are consistently hitting it out of the park and hitting the nail on the head about the real true issues of society - and specifically, the issues of humanity. Keep it up and DFTBA. These are exactly the kind of videos I, and the world, need right now.

[@elisa.llew-send]

I just read this story - bawling my eyes out at the loss of life while struggling to being in new life to the world. It’s one of those times I regret my blood type: AB+. No one can have my blood, except for someone also AB+. But they could have anyone else’s anyway. But there are thankfully other ways to help. The people of PIH and their associates are doing holy work, saving lives. Thank you for caring, John. And thank you for encouraging all of us to care, too.

[@kewb314]

The hardest vlogbrothers videos to watch are often the most important

[@gazorpazorp9798]

Best vlogbrothers episode in a long time. Thank you.

[@wendydavidson1589]

I am so grateful to this community for being a regular reminder that care and compassion are worth it.

[@elizalee1595]

this video is just so so important. like maybe one of my all time favorites. love and compassion are hard because they require sacrifice and effort...but we must fight against our instinct to not care and choose to care day after day after day after day. of course no one can do it all but if we all find a cause (or causes) we're close to and/or passionate about and make conscious efforts to educate ourselves on it, really listen to those who are actually affected, and leverage different parts of our lives (financially, personally, emotionally, mentally, vocationally, etc) to provide relief, both short term and long term, then we will be on our way to creating a more just, more equitable world. not saying this is effortless and it's definitely easier said than done but...together...it is possible

[@chadsaur]

I'm a Nerdfighter who's been away for a while but is now starting to get back into watching John and Hank and I'm rediscovering all the ways that these two, these videos, and Nerdfighteria help me be a better version of myself (and decrease world-suck) so... thanks.

[@hapennysparrow]

This is a first viewing of your pod cast. I want to say thank you for ntelligent, nuanced, positions on the complexity of our world. To insulate one's self from anything outside of one's limited experience robs that person of the ability to look at other viewpoints or experiences with understanding and compassion. I am a follower of Jesus, and I cannot imagine Him ever being threatened by encountering someone who did not fit into the mindset of the religious environment into which He was born. His arms were always open to receive any thirsty soul. I am a book lover and I have found much insight and understanding in reading a wide variety of literature. I read banned books. I am a better person for it. God bless.

[@JulesKM]

This made me very emotional, unexpectedly--see how things happen unexpectedly sometimes? I'm a little bit jealous at your ability to put feelings to words in a way that is so cathartic. I'm also thankful for the reminder about what is really important in this big noisy world.

[@rachelcampbell9467]

This is a phenomenal response. It addresses the comments made in a polite, empathetic and reasonable way. It shows that you understand why people respond the way they do to injustice, while still advocating for us not to respond with a lack of empathy or a "purity" test. Thank you for your words, as always.

[@nathancorder4655]

I work in an addiction recovery clinic, I'm in recovery myself, and I read that the U.S. passed 100,000 overdose deaths this year. My company tells me to distance myself from the emotional trauma of the patients to protect myself from burnout, which I'm now facing, so this little vlog was very well received by me and very much appreciated.

[@hopewilliard6781]

Sending you very best wishes for your recovery and the important work you do.

[@nathancorder4655]

@hope Williard- much appreciated :)

[@Cloudjump3r]

John, thank you again for another of countless videos that makes something really important more clear. I truly appreciate your passion, eloquence, compassion, and persistence. Thank you!

[@MattPalka]

Embracing reasons to care and caring seems so much more aimed toward making change than creating so many barriers to not care.

[@maryjewell461]

Thanks, John. Videos like this one encouraged me to study and work in the field of public health. I'm in grad school now and your videos are often a refreshing reminder of why I'm here.

[@carlyhemmelgarn1449]

This video is so amazing and true and inspiring. Thank you

[@GymGirl88]

I am so unbelievably honored to be a party of this community and it's work. Growing up in this space has taught me so much about being kind and the Green brothers make it so easy to do good in the world. Thank you for putting in the work with PIH and other organizations to make it possible for this community to make such large differences in the world

[@LoveRonHermione]

This really resonated with me. Thank you

[@cherishireland9194]

Thank you, I feel alone in caring often. I understand but I will not fall for it and I will advocate for others as I can.

[@HCosta1001]

This one hit me, hard. Thanks for talking about it to your big audience, Hank.

[@FeatherMarauder]

Choose to care.

[@jeka8826]

Thank you for caring.