Rebel Moon is Not Very Good

[@randomft]

Update: claim released. The vid won’t be going anywhere. Hey guys, so you may have noticed that the copyright gods have descended upon this video. I have no idea why they waited 16 days to do so, but fuck me right for expecting KZbin's copyright system to behave in a consistent manner. Anyway, the video is now live again and will hopefully remain so. It is currently not earning me any ad revenue whilst the copyright holder twiddles their thumbs, and they have seven days to either release the claim meaning everything goes back to normal, or they will take the video down and I will receive a strike. If that happens I will fight it. This is however going to delay my first Arcane video slightly, as Arcane is also a Netflix property, and I can't risk my videos being taken down after they are released.

[@jamesverner9132]

Congratulations on making it to the big leagues. If you have been detected. That means you are threatening their power... Progress

[@MrNotech]

Will you do a review of True Detective Season 4? I would love to hear your thoughts on that mess

[@jamesverner9132]

True detective what now?!

[@thethinkingcatakaneonormie3527]

Really when covering snyder girls you have to watch sucker punch as much like Snyder's watchmen Zack has the same problem that has been noticed with frank miller the virgins and Wh0res logic where women are written like either innocent children or bad ass and sex mad, its pretty obvious when you look at all of Snyder's characters.

[@thethinkingcatakaneonormie3527]

Really when covering snyder girls you have to watch sucker punch as much like Snyder's watchmen Zack has the same problem that has been noticed with frank miller the virgins and Wh0res logic where women are written like either innocent children or bad ass and sex mad, its pretty obvious when you look at all of Snyder's characters.

[@Doc-Glock]

It's a good thing Rebel Moon pays so many "homages" to various media, to remind you of better things that you could be experiencing instead of Rebel Moon.

[@PeopleRTheProblem]

For me it reminds me of all the other failed movies with great potential

[@Undeadaccount]

You're obviously not creative inspiration is in everything you just don't like this try making something yourself

[@Doc-Glock]

@@Undeadaccount You're in a comments section replying with "tRy MaKiNg SoMeThInG yOuRsElF", one of the most toothless, boring, least creative responses to criticism. No one here is going to be looking at you for wisdom for anything regarding creativity or this movie. Take a hike.

[@thekaiser3815]

I want to see a lawsuit for copyright infringements 😅. That would perfect.

[@devaunbeats]

@@Doc-Glock Damn man you didn't have to murder him lmaooo

[@GILGAMESH069]

Anthony bopkins is an actual gigachad -arrives at the barn -chooses violence -never elaborates -leaves

[@roronoadzoro9429]

Gets horns to look more metal

[@michaelsnow3536]

"This is Nemesis, she's got my back. I would advise not gettin' killed by her. Her Not Lightsabers *tm* trap the souls of their victims"

[@Ezio999Auditore]

lost again ffs 😂

[@exhumedlegume8870]

Legally Distinct Lightsaber™

[@taylorpeach568]

This is perfect

[@mathiasbartl903]

Oh no, a demonblade.

[@JamesMC04]

That suggests her not-lightsabres are copies of Stormbringer, the sword of Elric of Melniboné, which does precisely that. The Imperium would be more credible if it was known to trap the souls of its victims in various artefacts. At present, there is not enough world-building. The result is a story in the foreground that is supported by too little background. The Imperium cannot be very alarming, if the audience is told very little about it.

[@theredranger9723]

Guys, just be patient! The 4 1/2 hour black & white directors cut will explain EVERYTHING. Available July 2030 five years after part 2 comes out.

[@nickl9461]

#releasethesnidercut

[@yurikendal4868]

Well, that will be just part 1. Sounds like a fantastic movie to skip

[@God-k5b]

By the way, Had a buddy previously work for time Warner only reason HBO max released the Snyder cut is cause they wanted to compete with Disney plus and it’s the only thing they had they thought would target the superhero fan base. They literally had a segmentation for these people to advertise and target. Had very little to do with fanfare. No one gives two shits about Zack Snyder. Hollywood won’t even work with him after DCU and all his movies have stupid low critic scores. All his fans are the same dudes who watch CW superhero shows and like fan service and probably think the fast and furious franchise is a cinematic masterpieces.

[@theredranger9723]

@@God-k5b lol nice! Sooo I take it you’re not a fan. I’m half way surprised Disney didn’t do this script for SW. Mary Sue, story that doesn’t make sense…. Perfect!

[@nichoudha]

that obviously can't be true, otherwise he'd never have gotten the money and greenlight by Netflix to make Rebel Moon in the first place. @@God-k5b

[@sparkycjs]

It seems to be common to say that Snyder isn't a great writer, but does nice visuals. It looks like he's determined to prove that wrong, but not in the way you'd expect.

[@danieladamczyk4024]

Hes best work is a comix book adaptation. His work isn't his.

[@sparkycjs]

@@danieladamczyk4024 absolutely

[@Raine749]

@@danieladamczyk4024also there’s dawn of the dead which was written by James Gunn

[@dc7981]

@@danieladamczyk4024 Holy shit truth

[@HECKproductions]

"you just watch.. i am gonna botch the story AND the visuals this time muahahah" -sack znider probably

[@Marines_Memelevolent]

The BLATANT ripping off of 40K‘s aesthetic is insane. One you didn’t mention was the Not-Servitor covered in fucking candles during the bar scene where they find the smuggler.

[@maxthepaladin2147]

I wonder if there was even a script, or did Cameron just wrote down "Star Wars but in 40k" on a piece of paper

[@NothingIsKnown00]

@@maxthepaladin2147He didn’t write it on a piece of paper. He wrote it in chatGPT

[@capsjukebox]

I think during Man of Steel Snyder engaged Cavill in a random conversation abt Warhammer 40k and in a reverie Cavill plotted this movie for him

[@paulgibbon5991]

I did a double-take at the name "Balisarius".

[@JamesMC04]

Reading the comments about these films is teaching me a lot about Warhammer 40000, of which I otherwise know nothing.

[@NarcissistAU]

The film lost me when the the OP battlegroup/effing fleet decided to try and source a year's worth of food from a random tiny farming commune instead of heading straight for the granaries of the only port on this agrarian backwater planet that they can apparently cinder at will. Did they only need a few meals? Is it a super grain? Do they have super efficient digestion? Did the Ajax dude do this like fifty more times to other random farms on the planet? Is it a robot force with a tiny group of mouths to feed? Are they broke? Are their WMD's broken? And on, and on, and on. Then the rest of the film continues in this vein until your brain shuts down to prevent aneurysm.

[@merphul]

The answer is "Firefly dealt with a lot of little farm villages on countryside planets. And people like Firefly."

[@randomusernameCallin]

At best you can say they know the farm sold the rebels but how I don't know.

[@okNiko]

That's the brilliance of Zack Snyder films, the moment you start to think past "oh pretty visuals" it IMMEDIATELY falls apart. The fact that the opening scene makes absolutely zero sense speaks volumes to the quality this movie series he's planning will be.

[@Svafne]

I could tell by the dialogue in the tavern scene just at the start that this reeks 😂 Did not expect this though!

[@elmaxidelsur]

It is so weird, it could have been a really small moon and they are mining some useful mineral for the engines on the slave ship... Like Darth Vader and the cloud city with Lando jajajajajaja

[@ThomasStevensontutor]

Did Zack really introduce a gladiator character on a gladiator planet and not show us a gladiator fight? You'd think that kind of fight scene would be right up his alley. Unless he's saving it for the director's cut, of course.

[@leahmarie112]

It will surely be in the Snyder Cut he plans to release. There’s a solid 1.5 hours missing from this movie - on purpose.

[@reactiondavant-garde3391]

@@leahmarie112 I really like thet we have to buy DLCs even for moves nowaday.

[@thekaiser3815]

I'm looking forward to his Directors cut of the Directors cut of the Directors cut 😅

[@efeetham15]

Well yes. Because he's the only director who is given 2 stabs at every job when almost everyone else is judged on thier first attempt.

[@afrostigmeister]

The 300 set looks really well kept..

[@Loki_Yogi]

"Rebel Moon is mature in the same way that a blood spatter warrants a higher age rating" AND "Rebel Moon is as mature as an image of a nipple" Beautifully said Random. Beautifully said.

[@Gorbz]

As soon a Blood Axes were mentioned, my mind instantly went to Orks.

[@luketfer]

A LOT of people have pointed just how much of this is just lifted from 40k to the point that people wonder if Zack had just skim read the lexicanum aka the 40k wiki

[@NothingIsKnown00]

I heard the next movie will have the Tau.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

Perhaps a few robot Skeleton men, or a hungry hivemind will appear next.

[@JamesMC04]

My mind went to Erik Bloodaxe, king of Norway (died 954).

[@thanktink4328]

Uruks.. or Urukai.. Zaks soldiers are called Uraki. 😂

[@saj-manthesonicfan1893]

Unironically, _Rebel Child Part One: A Moon of Fire_ and _Moon Child Part One: A Rebel of Fire_ are waaaaay better titles for this movie

[@FearTheCaboose1337]

I spent the entire video laughing at these. The first few aren't very funny, but it gets to you eventually

[@thanktink4328]

HahahaHahaha Hahaha😂. Fire Child, A Moon Of Rebel..

[@boneman-calciumenjoyer8290]

@@thanktink4328 fire child, a moon of rebel: part one.

[@wephilips6651]

This video really helped summarize and articulate what I have been trying to say about Snyder for years. He’s built a film writing career off just bullet point for plot, character, world building and his uncritical fans seem more than content with that. Ever talk with a Snyder fanboy about his movies? 90% of the stuff they praise and wax lyrically about isn’t even in the films! They just use his bullet points as jumping off points to fill all the gaps and holes with head cannon and projection.

[@Jarekx2007]

Because until this point he's always had source material to fill in all the holes, so that head cannon and projection is very straightforward. Anyone who expected a Snyder original work to be anything more than visually pleasing very obviously hasn't seen Sucker Punch, and even then he's huffed so many of his own farts that he can't even do his signature slow-mo action sequences right anymore.

[@robinthrush9672]

He, and I, were actually talking to one of the drones in the live chat. He couldn't even hold a conversation without mixing up the subject and projecting his views onto us. He actually tried to argue with RFT that since the movie referenced other movies, like the 7 Samurai, that criticizing Rebel Moon's plot was the same as criticizing the good movies!

[@wephilips6651]

@@robinthrush9672 😂

[@TheDemigans]

Hold on if that was true then I’d bow to Snyder as having people think and fill in the gaps based on your story would be absolute excellent story writing. The problem is that you need to fill in gaps to make the story complete rather than be guessing as subtext and wider implications and that trying to fill them logically means contradicting something else in the story because it’s not a cohesive story but rather a bunch of random elements that worked in other stories rammed together even if they don’t fit.

[@Amarenamann]

"Nobody can be a better Zack Snyder than Zack Snyder... and he deserves to be praised for that." -Bilbo Baggins

[@Gandalf-The-Gay]

Zack Snyder would agree.

[@atomicdancer]

"I don't know half of Zach Snyder's movies half as well as I should like. And I like less than half of them half as well as they deserve." - Bilbo Baggins

[@Amarenamann]

Bilbo Baggins is never wrong, he always knows best.@@atomicdancer

[@superseky5]

Its absolutely insane to me how the Bilbo Baggins meme is still alive and well.

[@Amarenamann]

@@superseky5 I don't want to take any credit for this, but the Bilbo Baggins meme died down some time ago, or at the very least I haven't noticed it being used, and when I started using it for my own amusement, it started popping up again. Some people did it to mock me, and some did it to meme with me. Maybe it's just a coincidence.

[@petriew2018]

The qing dynasty ruled for 300 years. At the time of their fall there were 20,000 living members. The Ming Dynasty they took over for also ruled for 300 years. when they fell there were, i shit you not, 200,000 living members The dynasty in Snyder's universe rules for, we can conservatively estimate, 20,000 years.... and it takes 3 deaths to exterminate the entire line.... That's kind of the world building of this movie in a nutshell, overblown and completely nonsensical, because there was no actual thought put in to it beyond 'would this have impressed 12 year old me?'....

[@liliesaregoodfortheliver2954]

WHAT?! that's crazy, I'm impressed

[@jeremypintsize7606]

For long dynasties One the longest it not the longest in recorded history was the french Capetians direct lineage it's 987-1322 -> 329 years... On the indirect line it's 987-1792 and 1814- 1815 and 1815-1848 ->838 years counting Louis Philippe the first... In 1815 they had the Hundred Days - les cent jours - of Napoleon the first. And yes they have members still living in 2024.

[@nont18411]

For a 20,000 years dynasty, having a self-preservation in their bloodline should have been their main priority. Any rational (or even an idiotic) dynasty would know not to limit the family members with just 3 people.

[@zaleost]

@@liliesaregoodfortheliver2954 What likely helped in these cases is that for most of China's history, its was very normal for an Emperor to have a large harem and produce an incredibly large amount of children. It wasn't uncommon for Princes to kill each other or the Emperor to purge one that could be a threat to their chosen heir, but often the extra sons were given minor titles in far off regions. With them often having their own families and passing through several generations, it could easily lead to there being a very larger number of people running around who are distantly related to the Emperor and share their family name.

[@TheGallantDrake]

They tried to do Dune without understanding Dune. Dune worked because the toppling of the Empire was the result of a millennia long plan going sideways, and even then the empire didn't fall; there was an apocaplyptic civil war, and Muad'dib installed himself as Emperor. The Empire continued. The political structure of the Lansraad council and CHOAM company is key to how that all played out in the end.

[@simonesalvatore9345]

The fact that the same Disney that approved of The Rise of Skywalker rejected this as a Star Wars script should tell you all you need to know about this film.

[@UnicornStorm]

so it's pretty darn good, is what you say?

[@iro6758]

@@UnicornStorm I believe we've stumbled upon an actual paradox...

[@merphul]

JJ Abrams already filled their quota of unrestrained director with bad story ideas and a distinct visual flair. I don't think they so much exercised solid judgment as much as they were already full up on hacks.

[@davoid1792]

@@UnicornStorm creatively dead, awfully shot, with mediocre special affects and backgrounds that look stolen right off of star wars and warhammer 40k. which it very much is just 40k and star wars with the name scratched off and poorly written over.

[@billjacobs521]

Considering Disney actively avoids good movies, that doesn't really say anything. I think it was probably more to do with Kathleen Kennedy saying "Here's the list of 425 things I demand of your movie" and Zach going "No one can restrain my ARTISTIC VISION!" and storming out of the room in slow mo.

[@billjacobs521]

I can't believe Zack even screws up the basis for the conflict. Like, why the villain come all the way back to take whatever tiny harvest they have in 10 weeks? Just take all the surplus food now, and leave. Go to the next farming community and take their food, or head straight back to rebel-hunting. This guy is just being a cartoon villain.

[@vaiyt]

He knows they already have surplus food, what's 10 weeks gonna do?

[@thekaiser3815]

​@@vaiyt because EVIL!!!!

[@91MoonKnight]

It's the same plot from a Pixar's A Bug's Life with the Crickets using the Ants to collect food for them and they give the Ants weeks to collect the food. Then it forces one Ant from the colony to go out and find warriors to fight against the Crickets. So yeah the villain and the plot is based on a kids animated movie lol

[@thekaiser3815]

@@91MoonKnight you noticed as well 🤣 And a bug's life is a parody of magnificent 7.

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

I honestly thought (at first) that they had just run out of food and saw a farming planet and were like “oh, perfect!” and would then steal all the food and maybe kill some people, prompting the protagonist to fight back. I thought this was just one irresponsible ship we were dealing with

[@Amarenamann]

Rebel Moon is a movie that nobody wanted, nobody needed, absolutely nobody asked for, and a movie that by all laws of nature shouldn't exist... And yet it bravely exists anyway, for no reason. Thank you for your service, Zack Snyder.

[@admina.r.9727]

But is it the movie we deserved? Edit: obviously not

[@JeffreyAllanBackowski]

It may have not been the movie people wanted, but it was the movie the people needed... like they need a second anus.

[@HateshWarkio]

Snack Zyder always delivers.. .. .. .. _something_

[@Amarenamann]

I wouldn't even consider that thought.@@admina.r.9727

[@Amarenamann]

That's very true.@@HateshWarkio

[@MostlyNotDps]

I'm really glad somebody else saw all the Warhammer connections because I was watching the movie the whole time thinking "this really sounds like Warhammer." It's actually uncanny

[@NarcissistAU]

The only justification for the film (other than the run of the mill greed/incompetence dynamic) I can formulate is it's either a test to gauge the audience for the proposed WH40k series, or an audition to get ZS a director/producer gig for such, or both. But man that's an expensive and badly executed test. Maybe it's just one more tiny bit of evidence we're stuck in a busted version of the matrix approaching logic cascade failure point. Gotta find a steak and a cigar before it's too late.

[@leichtmeister]

​​@@NarcissistAUSnyder pitched this script to Disney as a Star Wars Story in 2014. This thing has nothing to do with Cavills Amazon show...

[@Amarenamann]

"One does not simply expect Zack Snyder to make a good movie." -Boromir

[@matthewcollins4773]

"Not with one hundred million dollars could you do this. It is folly."

[@EatTheMarxists]

But I really liked ‘300’ when it was released, and I just watched it again a few days ago and it was still darn enjoyable and entertaining. Was that a fluke? Was someone else responsible for its success? I don’t know. ‘Rebel Moon’ is so bad that it genuinely makes me wonder if he’s ever put out anything that’s enjoyable. Could I be wrong about ‘300’? No, I don’t think so - that I find it enjoyable and entertaining is my opinion and opinions are rarely ever right or wrong because they’re just opinions. Still though, makes me wonder.

[@petriew2018]

@@EatTheMarxists '300' was a movie written by someone else, produced by someone else, and shot by someone else. The slow motion was, at the time, fairly novel so as a stand alone effort, there's nothing wrong with '300'. It's meant to be viewed as the movie equivalent of a greek myth, highly stylized and embellished. So honestly just the kind of movie Zack Snyder is perfect for as a director. He's not completely without talent Since the debacle that is the DCEU Snyder has, unfortunately, completely lost the plot as to what his talents even are. He's a shit writer, he has no self control, he's a mediocre cinematographer, and doesn't even know what 'editing' is. Rebel Moon is exactly what happens when he tries to do all these things....

[@UnicornStorm]

@@petriew2018 he is pretty good at creating feature length music videos. If you want something that survives by style alone, he's your man, or let someone else write for him. Watchmen was a bit divisive, but as a stand-alone on the whole pretty well done

[@definitelynotboromir]

Hey, Boromir never said that...

[@メシャ]

I would've never watched this movie of my own volition, but i'll gladly watch a 2 hour breakdown and analysis that's way more entertaining, interesting and better scripted. You've given this turd of a film way more thought and attention than it deserves, and definitely more than any of the writers did. My condolences. Looking forward to the Arcane series!

[@Kidnappingfreezers]

My husband and I started it and killed it about 15 minutes in. It was already so stupid and non-encapsulating. I already don't care for Zach Snyder movies and I didn't even know this was his until this video. It makes sense. I remember his appearance on JRE and he was so proud of a penis, it really told me all I needed to know. Dr Manhattan's penis was apparently hand made by Snyder. Which is great but why are you so proud of it? It's a dick on a big blue man, who cares! He also mentioned (IIRC) an adult comic called Heavy Metal and how he started 'reading' them as like a 10-12 year old or something, and he's pretty much got a hidden obsession for sex. He stated that he really wants more sex and more graphic sex (again IIRC) in his movies. It's been a while since I listened to it and he was one of the more uninteresting guests so I don't remember more than that. People would need to listen for themselves.

[@Horvath_Gabor]

Honestly, this whole story makes me think it was adapted from a not particularly stellar tabletop RPG campaign. I imagine it like this: we have a new GM who wants to tell an epic story, but he's not super-creative, so he liberally borrows from Star Wars, Warhammer 40k, and the Seven Samurai for his world-building and intro. However, his players are murderhobo combat-troglodytes who don't care about any of that, and they have no diplomacy skills, so when the villain shows up to negotiate, they mess up their rolls so hard they get an ultimatum, and one of them dies. Now, they want to take revenge, so they set out to find the rebels. On the way, new players join, as well as the player of the dead PC rolls a new character (probably Nemesis, so that next time he can beat the villain), and to keep their attention, the GM has to keep throwing combat encounters at them. Then, we reach the finale, where one of the players betrays the others for the lolz, and we've got our big, campaign-ending showdown. The parts where this is most obvious is in the fight scenes, which are obviously turn based (enemies don't attack at once, nobody shoots defenseless players in the open, talking is a free action, etc.) and the scene in the finale, where the guy jumps onto the spaceship and pierces through the cockpit, only to miss and get shot, which just screams "this was the result of a whole string of botched d20 rolls" to me.

[@jamiekamihachi3135]

Pretty sure this scenario you invented had more thought than this professional script for a multimillion dollar movie.

[@oneMeVz]

I also thought of this. I feel a lot of new movies tend to be adapted RPG campaigns now.

[@chillyavian7718]

@@oneMeVz poorly adapted at that. Go read Boatmurdered or watch Lodos War for good stories based on games.

[@CoratMcRed]

Which is extra hilarious because they DID have a table top game coming out for this movie BUT then it turns out they didn't have enough world building to facilitate a fully working RPG game like DnD or Cyberpunk etc etc so the devs for the tabletop had to think stuff up for themselves/the game to really get going. Only for the film crew to go "Hey, this is neat....We made this" and back import all the worldbuilding the devs at Evil Genius made for the setting, not credit or pay them for extra work, and ultimately ending up in a lawsuit that I think ended up out of court settled, the game cancelled amidst it all and leaving us with just what they had planned for Rebel Moon (multiple movies and an anime series, iirc)

[@robertb7293]

I'm convinced Zach read a dusty copy of Inquisitor, read that worlds owe tithes to the Imperium, and just went; "Fuck it, the tithe thing is like government sanctioned raiders. That's our plot."

[@nont18411]

The samurai movie that Zack should have taken the inspiration from the most is “The Last Samurai”, not “Seven Samurai”. In The Last Samurai, the good guys team are a rural well-organized elite samurai army with years of training and yet it’s still not enough when they finally faced the Imperial Army (the bad guys team) because the Imperial Army had a bigger size and used technological superior guns while the samurai’s army were smaller and didn’t have guns. They are very disciplined but they still lost so there’s no way Zack Snyder’s small undisciplined good guys team would win against a hyperfuturistic empire.

[@leichtmeister]

I mean, Last Samurai is a classic white saviour story that misrepresents the actual history of the events it tries to portray aka ignoring that the revolting Samurai actually used muskets and modern strategies and were basically outresourced instead of outgunned. 🤷

[@nont18411]

@@leichtmeister I agree with historical inaccuracy. I totally disagree with the white savior one. If you look at the plot closely, it was the samurai culture that saved Tom Cruise, not the other way around.

[@petriew2018]

@@nont18411 it's kind of hard to call it a white savior story when the white guy didn't, in fact, save anyone. The final scene of the movie is the white guy embracing the native culture as superior to his own For all it's historical fuckery, it's far from a 'white savior' narrative

[@Jarekx2007]

@@leichtmeister On the surface it's a white savior movie, but when you delve into it, what did Tom really do? The samurai win the first battle against him, and then they lose the last battle with him. They would have accomplished and lost the same way whether he was in the story or not. He didn't go and teach them how to use guns. He didn't go and teach them superior tactics or techniques. All he does is survive to meet the emperor at the end, and it's not even his own knowledge/experience/way of life that moves the emperor, it's that of the samurai's.

[@jeremypintsize7606]

And an anecdote about this film is Nathan Algren played by Tom Cruise is mostly inspired by Jules Brunet a frenchman with 6'2" heigth (1.88 metre) ... Making a tall frenchman a vertically-challenged american is amusing. At least in Baragaki: Unbroken Samurai for interpreting the frenchman , japanesse had selected a Belgian and used his actual name and nationality.

[@DamoBloggs]

Just wanted to say that Christoph Waltz totally deserved the academy award he got for his role as Hans Landa. I never get tired of watching his performance in that film.

[@onaraisedbeach]

"There is no subtext, there is no deeper meaning. There is nothing to infer." = Inadvertent summary of Zack Snyder's entire career. Keep up the stellar work!

[@horaciosi]

Snyder doesn't care why things happen so long as it looks cool that they happen.

[@harbl99]

Zack 'exoteric is my middle name, but spelt without the initial 'e' because 'x' is cooler' Snyder

[@bongwaterbojack]

The fact that noble makes the village the offer to buy their surplus at tripple the market value is meant to convey some of his character along with the operating procedures of the mother world. They will make a genuine and generous offer in order to facilitate cooperation and mutual growth. However, should this generos offer be refused or blatant disrespect shown, then they will bring the proverbial hammer down. Which is why Noble then says they'll take everything after the lie is revealed. This is interesting because, as was pointed out, they have no real need of it. They can take what they want, yet they still go out of their way to extend a hand in friendship in the hopes of forging something better. This is actually be really neat writing. To show us something that calls the opening narration into question. Perhaps that narration came from a character who we later find out has some personal grudge that skews his view? Maybe Noble has some strict, personal code of ethics that will make his interactions with people more tense? Maybe... oh, wait. This is Rebel Moon. We're not gonna do any of that. This scene is just a ripoff of a much better movie, not an interesting twist that'll turn into something resembling originality.

[@MrTurole]

Strongly agreed. For example, the contact that was captured and provided information was a perfect example to show he's a man of his word. You provide a benefit to the empire and the empire will reward your loyalty. It might be much harder to write, but at least the villain and the evil empire could have an interesting tilt to it.

[@adrenjones9301]

They could have made the entire Empire like that. Valuing Loyalty, Discipline and Honesty above all else, to the point of stagnation, which in turn could be the reason for the rebellion in the first place. You would have two opposing factions which both have their goods and bads. You could go even further and make different factions in the groups. Like Empire Loyalists who want to stop the stagnation by reforms, which could have some sympathies with the Rebels. And powerhungry Rebels, who dont care about progress or peace and just want to climb the throne. Man, this shit writes itself.

[@Horvath_Gabor]

@@adrenjones9301 It's not even particularly novel, as far as sci-fi writing is concerned. The issue is that the writers that work on these projects are kind of incompetent, let alone on the level of your average sci-fi writer. They are nepotism-hires much more ready to reach for the most basic tropes they expect the audience to be familiar with (inexplicably one-note evil empire, implausible action hero protagonist, snide and arrogant villain without redeeming qualities, plucky underdog rebels, etc.) and smash them together with brute force than to actually play with them to make everything fit and more interesting.

[@bongwaterbojack]

@adrenjones9301 It's crazy how this scene could have set a solid foundation, yet it ends up being completely wasted. Let me guess, you're probably a bit like me, not getting paid millions for coming up with these ideas, huh? Lol

[@adrenjones9301]

@@bongwaterbojackTo be fair, the actual writers are "only" paid a couple thousands for a few days work. But considering what they deliver they are vastly over payed. Hell, if the studios had non woke talenthunters they could get better People from fanfiction sides.

[@Pelmoggian]

Am I alone in finding Random’s breakdown and commentary far more enjoyable than the movie? Also love the Dr Manhattan ‘Hydrogen’ on the forehead. Love it.

[@theskepticalapple4203]

My attempt to fix it. Act one. Cora is the one hunting the animal. When she returns it to the village there is a mixed reaction. They are happy for the meat but the elder guy declares it is not the season of the hunt citing the ancient laws of the ancestors. It’s a bit tense but farmer guy convinces the elder that Cora does not know all their ways and the waste of the great beast would anger the gods more than a mistaken hunt. This helps to show that Cora is an outsider and is trying to earn her place in the village but results are mixed. Her and farmer can have a bit of a heart to heart about the rules of the village. Now we are on the ship with the admiral and his senior staff. One of them announces that they believe they have located the main food supply for the rebels. “Farm” planet was previously the personal hunting grounds of the kings but hasn’t been used by the royal family for 20 generations. The admiral says that according to the law former properties of the slain king can be claimed by the nobility. He sees an opportunity to expand his personal power and damage the rebels at one go. Set course for farm planet. Back on farm planet the admiral lands and talks to elder. “You have been supplying the rebels?” “No my lord we are loyal we would never sell to rebels. We were offered a fair price by the servants of lady bloodaxe and we took it.” The admiral believes that the village didn’t realise that they were Supplying rebels. He announces that they are all under imperial interdict for supplying the enemies of the empire. They will be indentured servants for 5 generations for their crimes but they will live. Elder praises admiral for his beneficence. In the background Cora runs off. Act two. Cora and farmer have a chat. Cora says they need to get off world. Why farmer wants to know, indentured servitude won’t be that bad. Cora explains that the admiral will bring in machines and people from other worlds. He will leech the knowledge of the village and scatter them to the corners of the galaxy. Destroying their home. Okay so what can we do against the power of the empire asks farmer. I don’t know, but I know a man who will know what to do; general guy. Farmer says he knows where there is an old shuttle. It’s probably not up to much but it’ll get them off world. The shuttle really is in a bad state but it was an imperial shuttle at one point so it’s not bad underneath the years of neglect. Cora gets it working and off they go to general guy. The general is working on an urb world. He is training militia of the local lord. We she his skill in commanding men and inspiring loyalty. Cora and farmer land on world. Cora uses some emergency imperial code at customs to secure transport to the general. The customs guy calls her my lady. Farmer guy is suspicious but is happy enough with Cora’s explanation she bought the code from a trader years ago. The get their meeting with the general. He won’t mind giving the empire a black eye but how can he leave his post. He is under an interdict - little better than a slave. Cora says as long as he can make it to their shuttle they can get off world. Maybe have a firefight where the general gets away show case his tactical brilliance. Back on the shuttle the general says the best way to protect farm world is to keep the admiral spinning from one disaster to the next. General will need some operatives he can trust for such an operation. Sword woman, his former personal body guard. Animal tamer, formally one of his captains and beardy pilot guy, his former quartermaster. Act three. Off they go to collect them. To streamline it a little they are all now operating as traders on the border of legality. On the way there farmer goes to sleep and the general and Cora have a conversation that hints that she once held very high office in the empire but it is left there. Reunion happens. They are mostly happy but beardy is angry the general just abandoned them when he refused some orders. Beardy storms off whilst he explains the idea of hitting key imperial targets to destabilise the empire in this sector. They come up with a plan. The next day they are getting ready to leave. Beardy returns seemingly having gotten over his resentment and asks to join them. We see press a piece of tech that flashes twice and a quick sound pings. It’s not explained but perhaps enough for us to know we shouldn’t trust him. So they hit the imperial fuel refinery or whatever. It’s all going well. They lay the charges and return to the ship they press the button to blow the main fuel dump and nothing happens except a small bang. A bunch of imperial ships jump in and surround them. They are under arrest for treason. Beardy had betrayed them and the admiral wanted to make sure he could lay treason charges. We can have the reveal Cora is the daughter of the regent. Farmer is dismissed as a mere pawn in the game. He will be returned to farm world and serve out his interdict. The rest will be returned to mother world. Beardy is left in charge of farmer. He is taunting farmer as a fool etc. Farmer surprises and overcomes him. Farmer is initially scared but soon realises the people on the imperial ship pay him little attention assuming he is a servant of some sort. With a bit of cunning he manages to free sword woman who fights her way to animal guy and together they free the general. Cora and admiral guy are verbally sparing when warning sirens blast out. Prisoner escape. Prisoner escape. Then some rebel ships jump in and start attacking. The general suspected that beardy might betray him so paid someone to tail beardy. When they knew he’d contacted the imperials they nearly left but Cora sensed an opportunity. She got farm guy to contact the man he sold the grain to who was able to pass a coded. Message to the rebels. “They won’t last in a prolonged fight against you but your ship is in chaos and your crew aren’t at their best. They will last long enough to cripple your ship. And then you’ll have to explain to high command how you lost control of the situation.” “But I’ll still have you as a prize.” The admiral goes off to take command of the situation but we hear the cage stand robot disarm. “You didn’t think to check if my imperial codes were still valid.” Cora and admiral have a fight. She wins but is wounded. Farmer finds her and together they get to their shuttle with General, sword and animal. They escape. “Today was a great victory. But we will need many more.” The rebel ships jump away as the imperial ship is badly damaged but beginning to get its guns firing. Admiral is revived by his crew and we leave with the mysterious figure of the regent demanding a report as it seems he will need to take personal charge of the situation.

[@Raine749]

Interesting

[@Highostrich]

Not even Snyder put this much thought in his movie

[@theskepticalapple4203]

@@Highostrich thanks.

[@georgekostaras]

See that would genuinely make for a cool movie

[@patriciusvunkempen102]

sounds like a movie i would watch

[@Darkington]

The best part of the Nemesis scene is directly after when Kora compliments Gunner and he says she'd do the same thing, despite her being there and not doing anything to save the child.

[@nont18411]

And with the context of Rebel Moon 2, it’s even worse. Kora won’t just not saving the child, she’s more than comfortable to murder them.

[@vermis8344]

Thoughts: - So who was the 'child of fire'? - My brain broke a little at 'pointy stick takes down giant spaceship'. Was Zack/h taking notes from 'horsies run along star destroyer'? - As an ulsterman, all those ulster(ish) accents... really ground against my eardrums. 😖 Reminds me of when Dusty's voice was dubbed over in Gentlemen Broncos. - I'm all at once horrified and delighted by all the crimes against Kronk.

[@redtintedglasses3529]

I really appreciate how thorough your videos are in documenting the facts related to the films you analyze - what character traits appear on screen, the duration a character is on screen, how long and when action/intense beats occur, what is learned each scene, etc. Even when done with dry sarcasm, it really helps to clearly demonstrate how films and tv shows should work. It's all fine and well to say so-and-so doesn't have any character, but when it's laid out scene by scene, it makes it clear how much of filmmaking is actual measurable craftsmanship instead of purely appealing to different tastes. And I feel like I'm learning things, even when I already know the principles to which you appeal - that's the refreshing nature of clear thinking. Looking forward to your Arcane series!

[@Anomalyresearchlabs]

The worst part is Disney needed a black eye to make them get a grip over stars wars. The closer look summed it up perfectly.

[@mr.joshua6818]

Wait until the Rey Movie comes out.

[@TheDanielk4]

They don't. In fact, they're doubling down on what got them here. 😅

[@shadf7902]

@@mr.joshua6818 i almost cannot imagine how trashy anything new from disney can get. But the last 10 years or so exist lol.

[@billjacobs521]

Except they haven't. All they've done is cancel a bunch of projects, but what comes out is still bad.

[@georgekostaras]

One of the problems with this movie is that Zack Snyder doesn’t understand what makes Warhammer work

[@horaciosi]

One of the problems with Zack Snyder is that he doesn’t understand.

[@thisgoddamusernamestoodamnlong]

@@horaciosi One of the problems is that Zack Snyder.

[@goj1_lag00n]

One of the problems is Zack Snyder.

[@alexmartin3143]

Tbf Warhammer is barely working itself…

[@cybercase_7807]

@@alexmartin3143 it's broken in so many ways that the splinters all hold the whole thing in a broken pile. I love 40k its so dumb

[@rickoshea9351]

I'm not sure if it was pointed out, but the fact that she felt guilty for being unable to save the messiah kid should have further motivated her to help the Nemesis kid against the spider lady. Couple that with her willingness to intervene to help the village girl earlier, and this one scene contradicts much of what we know of this character, which isn't much.

[@targetdreamer257]

Some where around "Kora's backstory pt.1" I just think Zack saw the Thanos interaction with child Gamora and thought, "Hey that is a great scene. Lets do that but clunky and dumb."

[@charlestonjew7587]

I foresee mostly [Bad] and [Terrible] carrying the bulk of the cast with the droid being arguably the best character in the movie yet still likely going into [Inoffensive] as I don't think he even constitutes [Mostly Functional]. Can't wait to see this.

[@matthewcollins4773]

The entire eye-rolling business with "I was taught that love is weakness" reminded me of a much better depiction of that mentality: the Peacekeepers in Farscape. They too punish love as weakness -- companionship and mutual loyalty is prized, but familial affection is treated as, essentially, treasonous. The ex-Peacekeeper character is conceived in love and not as a rank-filling assigned birth; her mother breaks protocol when she's young and visits her to tell her this. The mother is punished by being made to kill either her lover or their daughter (she chooses the former) and then placed on assassin detail for the rest of her career, until she's nothing but a bitter, hateful husk of a person. The Peacekeepers are much more complex than the Imperium of Manchild, though; they're black-clad fascist antagonists, yes, but there's a lot more going on with them than a simple archetype. I guess I can add "third-rate Farscape" to the list, after Warhammer 40K, Star Wars, Seven Samurai, Harry Potter, etc., etc....

[@Amarenamann]

I've spent at least 4 hours cleaning floors the other day and that was a lot more interesting than whatever this movie was.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

I tried watching Netflix’s Resident Evil series and it was so mind numbingly boring and uninteresting, I had more fun cleaning the kitchen with it on. It’s so boring you don’t care about missing it nor worried about what happened previously because you don’t care about the stale acting, boring characters, and meandering plot.

[@tiggle5485]

It’s a bad sign when he’s referencing RoP for something it did *right.*

[@Sinewmire]

Belisarius murdered the king, ordered Cora to murder the princess. She didn't, that's why she's on the run. The princess will return from hiding in the next film, causing the robots to rally to her side. I think we're meant to conclude that Kai spoke to the Orcs at Providence, and agreed to meet them at X time, and that's his alibi - he's already cleared his story with Imperial bounty hunters. I assume the reason the paralysing chair gun thing exists is it is a Bolt Gun, and is a joke about Warhammer 40,000 where Boltguns (that aren't actual bolt guns) are the Space Marines' main weapon and is iconic in the setting. Darien Bloodaxe crashing that ship was just ridiculous. Why is the pilot in a gunnery turret? There seems to be another one, does the gunner there also have ship controls? I love how his achievements are: Getting all his pilots killed. Charging a ship and attacking it's gunner with a spear and *missing* and getting shot. At this point that looked like all he'd achieve, but yeah, then there was the ship controls that make no sense.

[@billjacobs521]

Kai didn't have time to do that, unless he KNEW Kora was coming and what for in advance.

[@richarddixon1450]

That boltgun theory is possibly the biggest reach I've ever read 😅 fair play.

[@Sinewmire]

@@richarddixon1450 Glad you enjoyed it!

[@879SCSP]

Have not seen this movie but I'm 80% convinced after watching this video that she's the princess who believes she's the guard and will find out in a shocking twist around part 2

[@nont18411]

Since Zack made Kora murder the princess in part 2, I would say that he subverted your expectations.

[@MajorSmurf]

I really really wish that people writing a story involving a lot of characters in a direct supporting/main role would make sure that each one has a proper goal and logical reason to do X thing at all times. It can take a lot of time for an audience to connect with a character and often need a sense of a bigger picture. If you have a character out for revenge, you need to either show the audience that event in a flashback or as part of the timeline OR you need them to make decisions that gain them the most even if it clashes against the others morality. These seven should be going on their own arcs (some small and others bigger) and they should be changing in some form. Maybe at times losing what they value and the others have to pick them back up. We need to see them forging relationships with each other. Some of these could be romantic, rivals, outright hate one of the others and then your normal platonic relationship. Yes often support characters in a story don't really change that much as it's impossible to write a story arc for all of them that is different enough to make it useful to the story and not a waste of time for both writer and audience. One of the biggest and most joyful payoffs in LOTR is at the end with Legolas and Gimli. When they look at each other possibly in the place they're about to die and after everything they've gone through, they put aside cultural differences to say those powerful lines. It was built up over three films and it works because you were there with them. The joking, the arguments, the battles and so on. You were there watching their hatred turn into a friendship.

[@TheGallantDrake]

Character motivation is key, and Snyder doesn't know it.

[@EnjoyVoid]

I've not seen the movie but still I can't wait for this. Its amazing that you can make such a long analysis to be both entertaining and informative. Keep up the amazing work.

[@manoz6194]

Don't watch it, it took me a couple of attempts, you will get more entertainment from this

[@EnjoyVoid]

@@manoz6194 I have heard once of this movie prior to this video and I have no interest to watch it myself, so don't worry I woun't.

[@lesgalloiseries]

The way Titus looks back at Kora after she told him he could join them for revenge looks like a certain cartoon. Titus: "I can't. Not anymore. I'm done with it." Kora: "And for... *two* scooby snacks? Titus: 1:00:46

[@billjacobs521]

"All the fighting robots quit fighting a few years ago. We think they are malfunctioning." "Did you have some examined by some robot engineers, figure out the problem, or just try to reprogram them?" "Whoza-whatsa now? I don't understand your crazy-speak."

[@benjaminjane93]

Zach Snyder is a director that just makes movies based on "Cool Ideas" and images the director has in his head from stuff he likes. All his stuff can be seen as "This is like that image from Batman." or "This is like that scene in Seven Samurai" but the man has such a surface level of understanding of the media he consumes he just puts the images on screen and loosely connects them with writing that can best be described as "Technically a script"

[@bencesomorjai6632]

100%

[@spacejunk2186]

Rebel moon is Zack's pet project. He loves it so much and is so invested that he cannot resist dumping all his ideas into terrible exposition scenes. Like a teenager coming up with an epic story. He loves it. He loves the world he has build. I kind of admire him for that. That's already more love than other writers have for their projects.

[@harrybishcrew]

I'd argue there isn't much effort at all or else there wouldn't be soo many plot holes, contrivances and poorly written characters. The script is almost unintelligible. If it was a pet project it was one he spent 10mins thinking about and did 1 draft of the script. I guess you can admire him for doing a thing

[@Ealsante]

I mean, it's not even his first pet project that he has fucked up in similar fashion. I knew Snyder was an uncommon talent when I couldn't finish watching a film with Emily Browning in it.

[@TheGallantDrake]

He doesn't respect himself enough to apply discipline to what he loves. He doesn't know how to remove ideas and use them elsewhere.

[@ShadowOfTheSPQR]

Snyder is the spitting image of a spoiled child with too much money and connections despite his content being bargain bin brainstorming while people can spend a huge portion of their life creating an in depth, well-researched work and never get the exposure or resources they need to give it mainstream attention.

[@spacejunk2186]

@@TheGallantDrake Its not that he does not repect himself. If that were true, he would not create anything at all. He is just a teenager in the body of an adult and lacks discipline. His story feels like a Ao3 fanfic.

[@Petrico94]

So either they tried to make a 40K movie and didn't get the rights, or made a failed Starcraft fan fic then passed it off as a knock off Star Wars franchise while Disney is down.

[@jampine8268]

Apparently it was a star wars film that got rejected. I know all sci fi tends to borrow from each other (Notably from Dune), but this does seem like all popular franchises poured into a blender.

[@Khayul]

@@jampine8268 Into a malfunctioning Blender - none of the "integration" is smooth, and we have a lot of big gross chunks sitting in this thin soup.

[@TheGallantDrake]

All the best artists are good at blending things properly so you can't tell. This is poorly blended. Chunky.

[@nacidocoqui]

Ha! Not even 5 minutes in and we already have our first Warhammer 40,000 call out, love it! 🤣

[@ladyred9613]

I am having the worst day. Really bad and scary stuff. I needed this. Thank you

[@Edward-W]

I hope you are alright ❤

[@ladyred9613]

I won't know for a couple weeks.

[@randomft]

Hope everything turns out ok for you

[@danieladamczyk4024]

Stay strong brother.

[@ladyred9613]

When I think about it, I become afraid. I try to think about anything else, but late at night I don't feel strong.

[@twizzle1112]

I almost fell on the floor , when you referred to the soldiers as turbo rapists😅😅

[@sophiaaldous3199]

I shall now open all future interactions with strangers, personally and professionally, with “Hello, allow me to tell you my back story.”

[@adhlerecoffy7000]

Kai's character could've been given *some* depth by using the moment he gave the paralyzer to Gunner as a reveal that he was actually a double agent against the Imperium. This would give some cover for why he was "in it for the money" despite not being able to get paid and could setup a more compelling back story.

[@MalevolentDivinity]

10,000 years of monarchy means that it isn't a question as to whether or not you're a direct descendent of a king, it's a question of how long ago that king was in power.

[@rise-my-angel]

You know it's gonna be a good video when 5 minutes in and you're already deep diving into how terrible the cinematography looks and explaining why.

[@XerrolAvengerII]

Honestly kinda feel like the issue in this movie was the same as man of steel, which is to say, that the order in which we learn motivations is the problem. If kora's backstory were front and center, and noble's motivation to find kora and the rebels stated outright, then we might have understood why they would start their search in some bf nowhere farming community with like 30 people. There's no exposition that Noble looked other places prior, or that he had reason to choose this place first, and the fact we didn't start our prologue showing rebels ambushing or fighting the king's gaze contributes to the "but why" of people's motivations that we constantly stumble over.

[@askarsfan2011]

I think they paralyze prisoners and then dissect their brains to obtain more information while they are still alive. This may make more sense if you combine it with the last scene of the film. But yeah, it's stupidly convoluted.

[@badgersnipe7172]

Random, KZbin put 27 annoying and pointless advert breaks throughout this video - basically the same for every one of your LOTR/ Hobbit / ROP videos - and I just want you to know that these disruptions didn't stop me finding each of these breakdowns immensely enjoyable. I find your style of critique immensely thorough and systematic, and I appreciate that you give each point a best-faith interpretation before absolutely demolishing them - I like to think this will inform my own work down the road. Many thanks, and I eagerly await the next video.

[@RecluseBootsy]

If Flashgitz got slapped by a copyright claim, idk how in the hell Zach managed to get away with this much Warhammer plagarism. Games Workshop should be out for blood. 😮

[@FurryStockings]

The Toxic Snyder fanbase: "Disney is going to regret not letting zack snyder direct a star wars movie, now he'll have full control of rebel moon, and it will destroy star wars!" The end result:

[@MST3Killa]

I'd be curious to see a similar depth of analysis for some stuff you do like. Like Aliens or what have you. In a sense, why do those work so well while so many others absolutely do not

[@LadyRaeona]

If Kora had been shown freezing up when the spiderlady was going to hurt the little girl, failing in that very specific context, that would have turned a rule-of-cool fight scene that made our heroes look heartless into an actually relevant character moment. It's baffling how little characterisation there is, because its not like there's no opportunity for it.

[@tylerskiss]

The opening of the film is set up to build up Den. It lets us know how all the characters feel about Den and tell us how much of an Alpha he is so, when we finally meet Den, we can…. Immediately forget about him. Well done Zack!

[@happykharl]

just a side note I think the commissars inn 40k are inspired more by the soviet commissars rather then the Nazi equivalent

[@jimdoom2276]

Their active role is inspired by the Soviets, but their appearance is clearly space-Nazi.

[@NewMitchell-wh3fj]

I don't get why Snyder thinks he's a writer, and why people keep hiring him to write stories. He's a visual guy, he should be paired off with a good writer (thus why the movie Gunn wrote for him is actually good)

[@NothingIsKnown00]

When it comes to scenes where one badass warrior takes out a bunch of enemies, I generally prefer when bullets come out of nowhere. The bad guys panic and shoot in all directions but get shot in the head one by one. This is much more believable, and tells us that the hero is both skilled and smart. Works especially well when the hero is a woman. Fight scenes are that much harder to do, requires that the bad guys don’t attack as a team, and lose credibility when the hero isn’t stronger or has some secret advantage.

[@Metrion77]

"My name is Gunnar. And my planet may never have the chance to be born. For hundreds of years, humanity has expanded with singular drive, terraforming planets out from the homeworld to the very edge of the galaxy. Everyone had a purpose. Everyone had a role. And then, nobody did. The imperial family vanished. Hundreds of governors across the galaxy were assassinated. In the chaos, every bootlicker and bureaucrat jumped at the chance to claim the vacant throne. Belisarius. captain of the imperial guard, took control of the military, trying to hold together the empire. But nobody knows who to report to, or if they're even still alive. And the fringes on the half-formed planets at the edge of the galaxy? We're forgotten. My family, and a dozen others, were assigned to iron-rich moon of Veldt to help terraform it. Engineers, scientists, pioneers. The best of the best. Just waiting for the technology to finish the process. Every day, we scan the radio signals coming from the inner rings, waiting for the delivery, hearing the news of the insanity. That was 10 years ago. The food supplies can't support us. We had to start tilling and planting in half-formed dust, but it's not enough. If we don't finish the terraforming, we'll die here." Cut to a group of emaciated dirt farmers crowding around a radio tower. "The median perseus systems continue their efforts to unite as the perseid confederacy, insisting on remaining sovereign until a new emperor is crowned. They call Belisarius' contingent of dreadnoughts in their systems an occupying force, continuing the confederacy's stance that Belisarius is not qualified to control the galaxy during the vacancy." Farmer 1: Damned fools. Drop the pissing contest before the whole galaxy starves. Farmer 2: Shhh! Listen! Radio: "In news from the outer ring, several rebel factions have arisen, attempting to raid factory planets in several of the galactic arms. One group, the bloodaxes, have taken credit for a failed attack on Norma 512. It seems that they were attempting to seize terraforming materials, which has become more common as rebel factions are creating colonies on moons and asteroids outside of government patrols." Farmer2: 512, that's close to us, right? Farmer3: We're waiting for stuff from 515... Radio: "It's unclear what effects this will have on the terraforming progress of outer norma systems. But as outer ring rebellions are on the rise, Belisarius has established a contingent of legionnaires to the outer norma system to ensure order." Radio, Belisarius "We ask the people of the outer rings to be respectful and comply with the inquisitorial legion as we try to root out these bandits and rebels." Farmer1: More mouths to feed... Farmer3: They would have their own supplies, right? Kora: Too close to the perseus arm. Any supply chain between the empire and us would take it right through contested territory. Farmer3: But they have to know we can barely feed ourselves! And it's not like Veldt is that much better off that any of the other systems in the area. Farmer1: You think Belisarius cares? Whole galaxy's lost its mind. Farmer2: Updates are coming through! The farmers gather around the screen plugged into the radio tower. 512, delayed due to damages. 513, in progress. 514, in progress. 515, in progress. 516, in progress. 517... The farmers look at each other glumly. 515 has been in progress ever since the collapse. They start walking back to their homes. Farmer 3: ...What are we going to do? Farmer 1: What can we do? We can't even abandon this rock without a spaceship. Kora: Abandoning your post is punishable by death... Farmer2: Better a quick execution than starving to death. Kora: You mean that? Farmer 2 stares at her, down to the noticeable gun outlined under her cloak, a manic wistful look in his eyes as if he's actually considering it, "... No. I guess not." Farmer 1: Might come down to it. Another farming drone is going bad. We might be down to our last dozen before the next month. Farmer3: What about the Perseids? They might... Kora: You want to try contacting a rebel faction when the empire just sent out a legion of inquisitors? Farmer3: Do you really think they'd- Kora: Kill you and everyone else on Veldt? Yes. The farmers walk on in silence, when suddenly the alarm on the tower goes off. Farmer 2: We're getting a call! The group scrambles back to the tower again. Farmer 2: Hello! Hello! This is Veldt, is anyone there? ???: We read you. Does Veldt refer to Moon 510-34-C? Farmer 2: Oh, y-yes! We're 34-C. Are you from 515? ???: No, 34-C. This is Captain Noble of the Imperial Inquisitors. We will be patrolling through System 510. Please prepare all resources and colonists for inspection on stardate 15707-3-5 at 0500AM galactic standard. Farmer2: That's... midafternoon in three days. We can do that, sir, but we really need an update on the terraforming machinery from 515. Noble: An update from the factory planets should have been sent out shortly before we contacted you. Farmer2: Yes, but- Noble, talking over: ANY FURTHER INFORMATION will need to wait until the inspection is complete. We have other colonies to contact. Over and out, 34-C. The farmers look at each other, bewildered as the screen goes dark. Farmer3: I've never done an inspection. Should I just get my family and stand outside our house or something? Farmer1: Kora, you're a former... Kora? Cut to Kora running across the dusty plains in a panic. She shoves her way into a makeshift tent made from discarded farmer drone parts. She starts pulling out boxes and stuffing her pockets with tech and plastic-wrapped packets and ammo. She's panicking and practically in tears as she rips a tarp off a small spaceship, barely a cockpit and some side thrusters. She starts emptying her pockets into the back seat, throwing cases in, and reaches in to press a button. The pod whirs to life, but the screen is red. "No no no no. Not now." She slaps the side of the rocket like it would do something and starts jabbing at the screen. The screen shows a diagnostic wheel spinning. "Shit! Shit shit shit!" ???: Kora? Kora throws the tarp back over the pod and slams herself next to the door, gun drawn. "Who's there?" ???: It's Gunnar. I heard about the inspection and I had some questions. Kora opens the door slowly, scanning the horizon before awkardly smiling at Gunnar and not opening the door all the way, She has the barrel of the gun pressed to the door so it's pointing at gunnar behind the door: "Gunnar. Yes. What do you need to know?" Gunnar: Oh, well, it's just... this is everybody's first inspection and we don't really know what to do. You're a former imperial soldier, so... Kora: I was never an investigator, but everyone in the imperial army is genetically modified and trained from birth for their role. Unless you do a real good job of hiding it, they'll find what they're looking for. Gunnar: Oh... I wasn't really asking for advice on hiding stuff from them. Just, what should we do? Kora: Just... Get everyone somewhere visible like the radio tower, answer their questions honestly, and- *the pod lets out a ping from under the tarp* ...and stay out of their way. You should be fine. Gunnar, craning his head out of curiosity: Was that- Kora: Dinner. Is there anything else you need, Gunnar? Gunnar: Oh. Well there's a meeting with the rest of the village... Kora: Oh. Jeez. I'm real tired, so I'm going to miss that one. Sorry! Kora slams the door, keeping the gun trained on the door, tapping a console to pull up a security screen of Gunnar and the outside of the door. Gunnar: Oh... ok then. I'll just let everyone else know... Kora backs away, keeping her gun trained on the door and watching the screen. She then flings the tarp off the pod and climbs into the front seat, tapping on the screen.

[@merikijiya13]

Keep going. I’m way more interested in this than Zach Synders version.

[@Metrion77]

@@merikijiya13 Cut to a scene of the clouds parting around the inquisitor's spaceship. Then a scene of bulky guards overturning beds as more slim guards tap on touchscreen handhelds. Inquisitor 1: Records indicate a female of similar age to yours in your household, ID 42753095 Farmer 2: Yes, my sister, Adani. She... passed away early on. There was an accident with a farming drone and... Inquisitor 1: I'm sorry for your loss. Records indicate 3095 was an astrological navigator. Why was she cleared to handle equipment she wasn't trained in? Farmer 2: Like I keep telling you, we had to adapt when the terraforming process stopped. We needed to use more drones to grow food, and we needed more farmers to handle the drones. We didn't- Inquisitor 1: Well, tragedies like this is why you need to stick to the roles assigned to you and not activate equipment prematurely. Where is her body? Farmer 2: Excuse me?! If you people had sent us the fucking terraforming- Inquisitor 1, reaching for his hip pistol: Sir, please calm down. I understand you've been through a lot but I need you to remain composed and answer my questions. Where is 3095's body? Farmer 2: ADANI was buried behind our house. Her grave is marked and visible. All I ask is that you don't disturb it. Inquisitor 1: Confirmed. Drone sweeps indicated an unidentified structure behind your house. We will need to perform a brief autopsy on the corpse to confirm cause and identity. Farmer 2: What the actual fuck?! Fuck no I don't consent to that! Inquisitor 1: Sir, I need you to remain calm. Another outburst like this will be designated as interfering with an ongoing investigation and you will be pacified. We need to confirm identity to ensure 3095 is actually deceased and not operating as an unsupervised force, and we need to confirm cause of death to ensure no murders or misinformation has occurred... Zoom out to farmer 1 and Noble, standing nearby and watching. Farmer 1 is concerned and Noble looks patient but bored. Farmer 1: Is this really necessary? Noble: Unfortunately so. Rest assured that my men aren't going to go out of their way to be disruptive. But your moon has lacked oversight for a decade now, and with the rebel factions in the area we need to make sure every citizen and resource is accounted for. Farmer 1: I've sent updates to Governer Hamar every month since I was assigned to this moon. Noble: And Governor Hamar has been AWOL for a decade and has thus sent no reports to the empire. Farmer1: Great. Glad to know I've been sending report transmissions into the galactic shredder... Noble: For now, send them to me. Once we confirm the state of 34-C and its citizens, we'll need to be clear on any ongoing situations. Once all this madness has died down, we'll be able to replace Hamar and get everything back in order. Farmer 1: Speaking of things back in order, you've seen the state we're in. We're going to die if we don't finish the terraforming process. Noble: Yes, the parts from Factory Planet 515. Well, I can't give you a guarantee or an ETA, but I can assure you that these rebels and their attacks aren't helping the situation. We need to be careful about transportation of terraforming machinery. If we just sent out an unguarded shipment of materials, it'd be a coinflip that it would even arrive. And even if it did... Farmer 1, taking a step back: We'd be sitting ducks for anyone who wanted to steal it, is that what you're saying? We haven't gotten our shipment is because of these rebels? Noble: I can't say for certain, but the attacks are certainly a factor. Farmer 1: Shit fucking hell... Captain, would it be possible to evacuate some of the citizens? We barely have enough food as is, and we're losing farming capabilities each month. Noble: I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and pretend you didn't ask a captain in the imperial legion to assist citizens in deserting their post. Farmer 1: With all due respect, captain, at this point it might be better to be on a prison colony with a food supply. Noble: Unfortunately for your criminal fantasies, the Norma 510 system lacks a functioning prison colony. At this point, the only punishment we have available to us are... *he taps his gun on his hip* pacification. Farmer 1, glancing over to his people: Emperor's mercy... But... what are we supposed to do, sir? Noble: The faster we can put down these rebellions, the faster we can return to the glorious functions of the empire. All you need to do is endure, survive, and comply with the investigations. Farmer 1, trying to put on a brave face: W-well, other than Kora who's bedridden, these are all of the surviving citizens of Veldt... or 34-C... Noble, turning up to look at the spaceship visible through the dust clouds: Good. With every citizen logged, we tighten the noose on the outliers and rebels. Inquisitor 1: Captain. All living citizens identified and logged. Noble, raising an eyebrow: Oh? Did the detachment already arrive at the structure outside of the colony? Inquisitor 1: No sir. They're still 3 minutes out. But all living citizens in the registry are present and accounted for. Farmer 1: What? But if Kora's not... what does that mean? Noble, grinning and turning to approach the crowd: It means we've caught a rat.

[@adrenjones9301]

The idea that Soldiers would have to resort to violence to get some action in an insular village with frequent fertility rituals and most likely rampant Incest is wild. Youd think they´d have to pry the Women off with a Crowbar and the inciting incident would be the accidental killing of one, due to an overzealous Sergeant.

[@Mario_Angel_Medina]

31:00 I can't help but compare this movie to Roger Corman's _Battle Beyond the Stars,_ a cheesy B-movie that made more sense because of two small differences: 1- In the Corman movie the villain's planet-destroying ship is his *only* ship, so destroying it effectively means the end of that particular treat, meanwhile in _Rebel Moon_ the Imperium has hundreds of ships (maybe Noble's one is the only one capable of destroying a planet by itself, but the imperial fleet and army are deffinitively ennough to destroy the village). 2- in Corman's schlocky low-budget movie, the "seven samurai" are *seven pilots with their own spaceships* which makes more sense than in _Rebel Moon,_ where the people they reclute are just good fighters, maybe one or two with experience in military strategy, with would be useful if the villains where just an army with maybe tanks and planes, *not a freaking "planet killer" Space Battleship Yamato*

[@Mario_Angel_Medina]

Another thing about _Battle Beyond the Stars_ I just remembered right now: due to the hostile enviroment of the planet, the small village where its only inhabitants (the villains wanted it to mine a powerful mineral or something, I think). In _Rebel Moon,_ on contrary, by antagonizing the Empire the small village *put a lot of other communities in danger* ... we has no reason to assume Providence is the only other city in the planet, so the main characters could be endangering millions of other innocent people, what a dick move

[@horaciosi]

@@Mario_Angel_Medina Even Corman, for all of his B-movie schlockness, understands basic storytelling and thinks everything through. His stories are not driven purely by coolness factor like Snyder.

[@IronDragon-2143]

If Zack Snyder's Rebel Moon has taught us anything it's that writing a new and original Sci-fi story is hard. And as an aspiring author who wants to write a Science Fiction story I completely understand why. I'm constantly rethinking, reworking and rewriting my story to avoid making another ripoff of Star Wars, Star Trek, Starship Troopers, Mass Effect, Halo and Warhammer 40,000. It really is difficult let me tell you.

[@zinc2zinc2]

I dont think that is limited to sci fi writting. Its for every genre. And not just stories but any art form, story or visual art or music. There is so much media out there its so easy to make something that unintentionally looks/sounds familiar to something we have already seen.

[@IronDragon-2143]

​@@zinc2zinc2 If that's the case I guess all I can do is try as hard as I can and hope for the best.

[@gmiller4165]

It shouldn’t be too hard as long as you don’t cross the line from “inspired by” to direct rip off. Halo was absolutely inspired elements of Aliens, Mass Effect draws large inspiration from Star Trek. Hell, Warhammer 40K is inspired so heavily from so many different preceding science fiction works, it DOES border on rip off (Dune being a prime example). As long as the world is established well, believable, with compelling characters and story, it will largely be accepted. Bad writing is probably the number 1 draw back more so than something being blatantly copied.

[@IronDragon-2143]

​@@gmiller4165Then I had better sharpen my writing skills to the best of my abilities. Luckily, this channel and its reviews of Rebel Moon as well as Rings of Power are fantastic examples of how NOT to write a story.

[@billjacobs521]

@@gmiller4165 Halo is also inspired by 40k as well.

[@grandarkfang_1482]

I like that your avatars are always comedically appropriate.

[@rquer7913]

I've enjoyed a lot your narrative. I must say that I think the robot answers to and protects the she-peasant because she is the "dead" princess. Not that it is important, as the second part will not be even released...

[@6tiple6ix6afia]

For a handful of years people attempted to (incorrectly) assert that anyone who said Snyder was a bad storyteller didn't understand how movies were made because "he was ONLY (only?) the director and not the writer". What these babbling baboons do not realize is nearly every movie he DID WRITE were actually THE WORST ONES. He wrote the story for thw original Justice League, he was a main writer on Sucker Punch, the sequel to 300, and now this... Rebel Moon. The only reason why Watchman and 300 were somewhat liked is because he either was NOT a writer, or even when he did write, he was making an ADAPTATION on insanely popular graphic novels. Let Synder write a completely original story, and he will absolutely drop the ball and create garbage.

[@AndyCandyZeroSugar]

Catching the premier, I have watched this video at least 5 times already. I love how much comparison with vastly better productions there is here! It makes it even more evident where and how Moon Rebel fumbled, and how other movies did a much better job. Your style is already very pleasant to listen to. I greatly appreciate that your tone is bereft of anger and that you are not shouting. Thanks to this video, every time I hear you say words starting with "re", I think of that unhinged reaction... and jaw. Honestly, it's so jarring to see others deliver their lines with so little finesse... like, Kora is literally stumbling over her words in the cantina, especially the pause between "here, heard" The way she cheers at the rally is like a bunch of kids learning that there won't be a final exam. I'm not sure how to word it, just that the acting and what they want to convey seem to be separated. The facial expressions are off. In a few days I shall watch this again. Thank you for your work Charlie! It is greatly appreciated! I have heard good things about Arcane's series and am looking forward to it! You deserve to talk about good productions (though I really love when you lose it a bit or point out hilarious mistakes. Those always catch me off guard and make me laugh.)

[@rdchristley]

Hey random, I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and I’m starting to critique movies more even during normal, casual watching. That said, I sat down to watch Fast X with my wife and it was literally undoable. Given that it would be a MASSIVE slam dunk, would you ever consider doing any of the fast and furious movies as a sort of gimme video, or maybe as a “how not to write a movie”?

[@bountyhunter779]

-What's your story? -My father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate was killed by the emperor! -Oh the pain, the pain! (Remember....it's a 6 movie Trilogy!

[@_KRUGR_]

Chop chop movie boy. Part 2 has been out for over 24 hrs where’s the 2 hour long video essay? I guess I’ll check back in 8-12 hours

[@galetempus1979]

as someone who's played Crusader Kings III, it takes fewer than a couple generations before there are legions distantly related people laying claim to the same crown.

[@mobbs6426]

The robot concept is actually really quite interesting, I might try to adapt it myself. Perhaps a post apocalypse where the old machines were programmed to protect humanity, but we reach a post-human phase, so they lose their purpose. They're not hostile to the meta-humans, they just exist alongisde one another, the machines probably acting as gardeners and shepherds, but paying as much attention to people as they would dogs

[@zcgamerandreacts2762]

The robots are most definitely the better part of this horrible franchise.

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

... wouldn’t Noble have recognised her from her time in the Imperium? Wouldn’t it have been better if she had tried to hide among the crowd yet Nobel see’s and recognise’s her He calls her out by name which shocks the other villagers but he used her title as an officer of the Imperium before hand Now that’s a way to introduce that part of the background

[@jorgelawes]

If you take all the slow-mo out of this film, you will end up with a 35 minute movie. Therefore, minimizing the viewers suffering time.

[@Alanisawesome]

@randomft if you plan on covering Part 2 of this dumpster fire, you're going to get angry because the first 8 minutes contradicts what happened in Part 1. The Imperium had a way to communicate with the soldiers on the Veldt THIS ENTIRE TIME, and the King's Gaze wasn't destroyed! I'm not joking. Can't wait for the extended cuts to explain how that happened! Also, Part 2 ends on a cliffhanger, and you might as well call Jimmy (AKA "Anthony Botkins") either "Superbot" or "Bot of Steel" because that's what he does in this movie.

[@jamez6398]

Man, oh man, what a massive fall from grace for Netflix. They used to create such great shows, now look at them. They managed to make a great, loving homage to Blade Runner before going off in their own direction with season 1 of Altered Carbon, and then they made another great cyberpunk show with Cyberpunk Edgerunners, and then they did an amazing steampunk show with Arcane. They come to make a dark and gritty adult version of Star Wars and they... completely drop the ball. Pity cos they made plenty of great movies like Marriage Story, Night in Paradise, The Night Comes for Us, The Irishman, Kate, and Extraction 1 and 2, yet they completely dropped the ball on this one. A dark and gritty adult version of Star Wars sounds like a great idea, especially with how badly Disney have screwed up Star Wars after George Lucas himself already did that with the prequel trilogy and to some extent Episode 6. Especially promising considering how great the Game of Thrones TV show was at being a gritty and adult version of Lord of the Rings... until it fell apart in seasons 7 and 8. What a pity this movie turned out so poorly. I don't think Zack Snyder is great at complex stories and worlds, he does best with simple stories, except Watchmen and that was only because it was a faithful recreation of the source material, otherwise his best movies are movies like 300, which is about good guys versus bad guys (even though the Spartans are kinda just as bad as the Persians in the film), and Dawn of the Dead which is about shooting zombies in the head with guns. Whoever told him he was capable enough to write lore as complex and interesting as in the Star Wars universe was completely mistaken, even George Lucas was incapable of that, when he started to expand the scope of the Star Wars universe in the prequel trilogy, he completely mucked it up and didn't even please the fans when he added annoying child Anakin Skywalker and Jar Jar Binks, and added the midichlorians to the canon which still makes fans' blood boil to this very day even though some defend it now. It's, like, the guy that made Star Wars ended up screwing up his world building, how on Earth did they think Zack Snyder of all people would be able to do any better?? Crazy... You're gonna make a series of videos on Arcane? It was my favourite TV show season I saw for the first time last year. Apart from Cyberpunk Edgerunners. And Better Call season 6. And Rick and Morty. And Moral Orel. Actually I saw an awful lot of good shows and seasons for the first time last year... If you do positive stuff in the future, I hope you do Star Wars and Lord of the Rings one day, I know there's a lot already done on Star Wars on KZbin already, so maybe you won't want to cover it, but a man can dream... The character development in this movie sounds like it is on the complete, opposite end of the spectrum from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul 😆

[@JDsBBQnBourbon]

Never considered watching this... now Im glad I didnt. Great work as usual!

[@radec8989]

Funny how this video is 10 times more enjoyable than watching the actual movie lol

[@phoenix80823]

I just found you today sir and I must say these might be the most indepth movie reviews I've ever seen. Breaking down the acts, the amount of action, and showing visually that rebel moon is a confused mess is a wonderful thing I can't say I've seen anyone else do. I also very much enjoy your terrifying fusion Kronk/Yzma thing. Keep up the wonderful work.

[@realNom2mooncow]

I thought from what little I had seen of the trailers and synopsis that this would be an interesting and refreshing break from franchises and sequels and stuff. It especially seemed cool for the visuals, which were grand and (somewhat) unique, and captured some of the spectacularity of some books I had been reading (Hyperion and Tress of the Emerald Sea come to mind) that I want to be adapted. But now that it has released, There are still cool VFX, it's just not in a good movie. It feels disappointing for something that could've broke the mold like this to flop so hard

[@TheGallantDrake]

I mostly feel bad for the VFX artists. Decent to good work wasted on terrible writing and cinematography.

[@SatanKlause]

a village named Veldt in Wonder Woman, a Belgian town named Veld veld is Dutch for field

[@omegaminoseer4539]

I know that I've commented before, but I'd like add another with the gift of hindsight. We come to realize that Kora is motivated by guilt not because was implicated as killing The Royal Family. She was complicit in joining her father in overthrowing them as she wanted the princess' position instead. Painfully, this actually raises a much more pressing issue; how does the line of succession work in this case? If The Imperium's power goes to The Regent, then it would have to be a meritocracy or royal republic, since there are Senators. If this is the case, Kora can't even become a princess pro-tempore since the next in line would be the next Senator underneath him, all the way down. That NO ONE realized that Kora was his adoptive daughter and murdered The King (as an ethnic impurity) raises another massive issue. If she wasn't framed, she'd be seen as an impure monster literally defiling the throne of The Princess. She'd get axed just because of the obvious comparison between herself and Issa, who was also a mage with the powers over life and death. They would immediately call for her death, citing how she was either (a) responsible to get more power or (b) a failure for letting The Carathon Clan get exterminated.

[@superfly9487]

Your analysis is gold as always. I’m actually looking forward to your take on Arcane and why it works as opposed to your systematic demolition of the horrible. However, I think I speak for all your subscribers when I say, “Rings of Power season 2 can’t come soon enough!”.

[@BB-zd3jr]

What?! Analyses of Rebel Moon, A New Hope and Seven Samurai! You sir are too good to us 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@seeinred]

This was pretty damn fast. Which is great news indeed :D Thank you for continuing to spoil us with good videos, RFT. Have an amazing day!

[@nickl9461]

Yes! Thank you so much RFT for slaving so hard, just for us.

[@pooloftim8263]

In reference to Kora’s sidearm- the king gave Kora a custom guardian gun inscribed with “My life for hers," referencing her duty to his daughter Issa.

[@chadmorrison3662]

This is also the plot of "A Bugs Life" and it was better.

[@hay4664]

This is the first review that comes up when Googled. Rebel Moon Part I: A Galactic Spectacle in the Vein of Cinematic Legends. Rebel Moon Part I is not just a film; it’s a grand narrative painted on a cosmic canvas, reminiscent of the storytelling prowess of iconic directors like Cecil B. DeMille. This cinematic odyssey masterfully blends the old with the new, crafting an epic reminiscent of classics like “Gone With the Wind,” yet pulsating with a modern vibrancy uniquely its own. It’s an absolute visual feast, where every scene, every sound, and every note of music is meticulously woven together into unparalleled craftsmanship. The movie harks back to the grandeur of traditional epic storytelling. It unfolds like a colossal theatrical play, inviting the audience onto a stage of interstellar conflict and unwavering bravery. Yet, this is precisely its charm. The film is a modern interpretation of the cinematic epics of yore, designed to sweep you off your feet, not with pretentious depth, but through the sheer force of its narrative and visual spectacle. Directorial genius Zak Snyder ensures that “Rebel Moon Part I” stands tall, not as an attempt to mimic monumental works like “Star Wars” or “Avatar,” but as a unique masterpiece in its own right. It’s an homage to the genre, a nod to the Sci-fi epics that have shaped cinema, yet it’s fiercely original, painting its own story with broad, confident strokes. The acting is a high point, with every character bringing a depth and authenticity that’s utterly captivating. Kora, in particular, is a character you can’t help but root for, a beacon of strength and determination that anchors the film’s sprawling narrative. For those who may not grasp its essence, “Rebel Moon Part I” is not a film that demands your critique but your surrender to its spectacle. It’s a cinematic experience that commands your attention, not by being overly complex, but by being majestically straightforward. It’s a tribute to the times when movies were a ride, an adventure, a journey into the unknown. In an era of fleeting attention spans, “Rebel Moon Part I” stands as a defiant beacon of creativity and storytelling prowess. It’s a film that doesn’t just belong to its genre; it transcends it, offering a narrative that’s both epic and heroic without trying too hard. It’s a testament to the power of cinema, a reminder of how films were meant to be: grand, immersive, and utterly captivating. So, cast aside the critiques and immerse yourself in this visionary masterpiece. “Rebel Moon Part I” is not just a movie; it’s a cinematic revolution, rekindling the majestic spirit of storytelling with a modern twist.

[@easternlights3155]

14:07 - "Partnership is not in its vocabulary." 'Its'? As in, the ship's vocabulary? Zack. You do know that ships can't talk, right?

[@nightmareeternal8454]

I honestly didn't see the Kai reveal coming, mostly because I initially dismissed it entirely as being far too stupid and that Kai must have some other alternative motive. When the reveal happened I was laughing for a solid 5 minutes because it was so obvious it almost cloaks itself.

[@19Ledor]

Random: Time for a positive video. Zack Snnnyders Re-bel Moon comes out. Random: Never mind…

[@collinmeredith7723]

The God Emperor Disapproves of this movie.

[@P4PRINCE_YT]

Instead of putting the sound of rain on to fall asleep I put rebel moon on and it only takes 3mins

[@lachieechoecho]

Thank you again for taking one for the team. My only question now is, can we buy the Zach Snyder Ster Wers shirt?