Rebel Moon: A Zack Snyder Disaster

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Use my link www.displate.com/littleplatoon or use my code LITTLEPLATOON to access my special promo on all designs 1-2 -> 32% OFF 3+ -> 37% OFF 4+ 42% OFF. Available until 27/05/2024. Discount applied automatically at check out when using my link, (excl. Limited Editions, Lumino and Textra) This video is technically still in copyright hell and Netflix are trying to strike me down. Catch it while you can!

[@christianefiorito3204]

The evil people allways look like the Nazis in an Indiana Jones Film, even when they come in a spaceship.

[@Coconut-219]

no

[@DaSlotho]

all good thanks boss man....love ya work...lets sit back for bout 4 n half hours...yep glady

[@SpaceTalon]

The bad guys are not nazis, they are very clearly the soviets... tho the fact that you westerners don't pick it up tell us a lot about those two systems.

[@freman007]

Give George Lucas his due, the writing for Star Wars (back when it was only Star Wars) was really tight. With editing by his wife, of course. With a handful of allusions from a handful of characters he created the perception of a universe that was incredibly old, where heroes had fought and died for a noble cause, where the protagonist and his allies were set in a world that had existed long before they were born, and would continue long after they died. Which is really good storytelling.

[@Genubath1]

"Sorry Mr. Space Nazi, we don't have any grain to trade to you. Anyways, would you like to have a drink of our ale that we brewed from the surplus grain?"

[@Genubath1]

@@MossfieldM That's mead

[@AdumbDriver]

​@@Genubath1mead is primarily made from fermented honey... It's ale.

[@Genubath1]

@@AdumbDriver I was replying to someone else who I guess deleted their reply to me. They were claiming that ale is from honey which is why I said "that's mead"

[@jakobquick6875]

😂effing stupid movie… In slower motion… Platoon kills me in JAWA FAIR USE😅

[@AdumbDriver]

@@Genubath1 awesome I'm not being sarcastic

[@weswolever7477]

At least the actors with the bags over their heads can plausibly deny that they were in the film

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I wonder if they insisted on having that in their contracts.

[@1977dclinton]

@@TheLittlePlatoon with no credits on places like IMDB either.

[@danboud8135]

I'm not imagining it but those bags look suspiciously like ones you see over heads in "certain" hostage videos. Me thinks there's a reason for that. I suspect those poor performers were in desperate need of saving!

[@Blisterdude123]

I was sad to see how bad this was in a way because I actually really enjoy Bae Doona as an actor. She has a really unfortunate track record in her Western roles (Cloud Atlas, Jupiter Ascending, and now this) but if you've seen her in Kingdom, or Silent Sea, she is legit pretty damn great. Snyder gave her fig all to do, like with most of this woefully misused cast.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Or maybe they’re tied up in a locked cabin waiting to be killed off by the Listener.

[@Darkington]

When asked how space ships travel across space, in Rebel Moon, Zack Snyder was quoted saying "I don't care." Which tells you how much thought he could have put into a movie where a small village single-handedly faces the force of a Galactic Empire, and wins.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That approach does indeed explain an awful lot about his dumb movie. You don’t necessarily have to go into detail on spaceship propulsion - Star Wars didn’t until TLJ and Solo started banging on about hyperfuel, and that just caused problems - but saying “I don’t care” too often leads to “anything goes” and then you get coal powered spaceships.

[@aragmarverilian8238]

@@TheLittlePlatoon And here I was, a green indie, investing a decade of my life into worldbuilding and silly stuff like how spaceships work. Little did I know of Snyder's most efficient, storytelling Way...

[@MavenCree]

Coal. I can't get past the coal.... 😵

[@aragmarverilian8238]

@@MavenCree Space coal :P

[@kreese-yi2nb]

That's a serious commitment to craft of storytelling, if I ever saw one. Even pron industry should fear of that man after he threatened to go that path a few months ago.

[@timbothejedi4146]

"love is weakness" "love was beaten out of me" "We were encouraged to find a love to fight with" 🤦

[@chuchu5946]

“Live Laugh Love”

[@r.k.5031]

It's like poetry, it rhymes

[@DangerZone200]

women am i right? 😂

[@mattparsons2045]

I was wondering if I was the only one that caught this inconsistency (admittedly it's a minnow buried under whales that need frying). The funny thing is the idea of lovers fighting in pairs, relying on each other in combat is kind of an interesting one. Not that that concept exists anywhere else in all of the two movies, just that one line. Zack's main problem is that he has no idea what makes a good story. But a secondary problem of his that even when he does broken clock a decent idea he does precisely nothing interesting with it.

[@sebastianrubin7476]

@@mattparsons2045 I wouldn't call it a minnow, because it's one hell of a brain fart. Like you said; even above and beyond the blatant disregard for continuity, it is also a potentially interesting plot point which is completely discarded. We don't even get her lover's name; so how important was he really?

[@jacobbesler3214]

Random slave-owner guy wanting to ride his hippogryph is the most relatable character in the movie. Nothing else makes sense in this movie, but if I had my own Buckbeak you can bet your ass I want to get to ride it

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That’s probably a fair point. “Why does he want to ride the hippogriff?” “Are you telling me you *wouldn’t* try to ride a hippogriff?”

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

@@TheLittlePlatoon “If you tell me you wouldn’t, you’re either lame, or lying”

[@LegendaryDorkKnight]

The main issue I have is why now? I mean, I KNOW why now. Because Zack's "characters" don't start existing until they're introduced. If I had a hippogriff for as long as that guy did, I would not wait until just some random day to decide I want to ride it.

[@DangerZone200]

@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access or you have survival instincts 😂

[@MrFallenone]

You forgot the 1000 year long ruling family ... consisted of 3 people.

[@rodrigobogado8756]

to be fair, that's a problem many stories have, even Dune

[@Raximus3000]

@@rodrigobogado8756 Unless the succession is done Stardust style. It would explain the lack of relatives.

[@revolverswitch]

@@Raximus3000 I remember that movie, that one had a more believable setting than rebel moon.

[@ryszakowy]

well after a 1000 years they either have alabama or 3 people left there is no in between

[@codinghusky5196]

There's two things.... 1. I didn't read the books, but looking strictly at new movies, Dune story is shit levels of storytelling. 2. It WAS written in the 60ies so... I think we can give it some leeway on account of it being predominantly an LSD induced fantasy.

[@jonathanyaloussa]

Platoon: "Boring literary allusions and references are my means of vengeance." Me: "Why do you think I came all this way?"

[@jonathanyaloussa]

Platoon used Anastasia? A surprise, to ve sure, but a welcome one.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

This is the problem with masochists. They’re really hard to punish.

[@michaelplowman8674]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon To truly punish a masochist is to give them quality, care, and attention. To punish a sadist, give them a masochist.

[@jonathanyaloussa]

@@TheLittlePlatoon So this is what you think of Disparu? 😂

[@MultiKeto]

@@TheLittlePlatoon the masochist to the sadist: torture me. the sadist: no

[@zeroman614]

I’m gonna randomly hit 1/2 speed while watching this for the full Snyder.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Oh, you won’t have to. If Snyder goes slow motion, so do I!

[@zeroman614]

@@TheLittlePlatoonamazing.

[@AscendantStoic]

Just wait for the Super Duper Mega Slow-Mo scenes in the Snyder Cut of Rebel Moon 😅

[@woldemunster9244]

@@TheLittlePlatoon You sound like Rich Evans in slo-mo. Coincidence? I think not.

[@albusvoltavern4500]

Can’t wait for those “I watched ___ at .5 speed, here’s what I noticed” channels to pick up this movie.

[@Indiscrimi]

There is a concept known as moral luck: If you drink and drive and accidentally kill someone, that is worse than drinking and driving and not killing someone. The problem is that your actions in both situations are the same, and so the severity of your actions comes down to luck. Does it make sense to base moral judgements on luck? No. Does it make sense to judge drinking and driving and NOT killing someone as equally heinous as drinking and driving and killing someone? Also no. Does Kora really not bear moral responsibility for killing the princess? She intended to kill the princess; she had every reason to believe that her actions would kill the princess. Does the fact that the princess survived really absolve her of ANY guilt at all?

[@jacquelineking5783]

She is also guilty of attempted murder which just means you are incompetent at murder. Not a moral improvement at all. It wasn't even a crime of passion she willingly participated in an assassination plot. It doesn't surprise me that someone from Hollywood thinks this makes her morally better but it is just sad.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Oh no, now you’re giving me flashbacks to my philosophy degree.

[@vaiyt]

That's why reckless endangerment and attempted crimes are things

[@silverscorpio24]

Good ol' "Scarlet Witch did nothing wrong" logic right there.

[@ThreadBareHope1234]

The drunk driving thing is a good discussion to have. About chance verses choice, how much agency do you have in that situation. I get what you mean, drunk drivers aren't murderers or traitors, they don't choose to kill anyone. But Kora chose to follow through on the assassination.

[@hypotrain]

I will never get over the fact that a literal galactic empire uses coal. Genuinely what was he thinking?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It still fascinates me. I want to sit down with him and ask him. He must have been thinking *something.* You don’t just accidentally decide on coal.

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Because it makes the ships look steampunky and steampunk is cool? He random ly used some steampunk in Sucker Punch as well.

[@leoneil316]

I mean. They've got magic sparkle princess already so I could tie that shit together in five minutes. But imoSnyder doesn't have reasons. He has a cool picture in his head and he just shoves them all in without any connecting tissue. Which is why he abuses slo-mo so much. To linger on his cool ideas because they're so cool.

[@cleanerben9636]

it reminds me of that Doctor Who episode with the alien werewolf trying to infect Queen Victoria and the Doctor makes an off-hand comment about a Victorian space empire driven by coal and steam.

[@DaMaster012]

@@TheLittlePlatoon With Hack Snyder, he'll fling pretentious gobbledygook his eclectic hogwash, but the real answer will only ever be: "I thought it would look cool."

[@oscarb4822]

Zack Snyder has not created a universe. He's thrown his Warhammer, Star Wars, Dune, Gladiator toys into a blender and bound it all together with grain. Fucking grain. From one tiny village. One you could have nuked from orbit, gone down the road to the spaceport forgotten about between movies and demanded supplies under threat of destruction.

[@irishbob26]

He ordered a star wars script online. Sadly he was shopping on temu at the time. 😂

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

He's like your little brother who steals all your Pokemon cards and runs around school showing them off as his own.

[@oscarb4822]

@@TheLittlePlatoon But he can't quite get the names right and doesn't know any back stories so when questioned just blurts out the first random thing that pops into his mind.

[@TheSatisfiedPig]

You know it might have worked if he had done something analogous to the American colonies declaring independence from the British. Like say an earth-like planet colonized a neighboring planet's moon. The culture, and perhaps even the people, could have diverged so significantly they no longer wished to be governed by a distant planet they have no other connection to. You can even include a resource struggle as motivating factor for the home planet to suppress their independence(just not grain for the love of God.)

[@nathanjora7627]

@@TheSatisfiedPigGrain can work if we’re talking about an agri world and the empire has its military resources stretched thin, which’d explain why only one ship would be on the ass of said agri world. You know ? Like in 40k ? The licence he took inspiration from ? But no, let’s make it so that they have infinite resources, are at war only because they’re a bunch of cretins, aren’t stretched thin and the world they demand tithe from isn’t an entire planet dedicated to producing food that would be required by the innumerable worlds of the imperium too urbanized or polluted or both to be able to be able to grow their own grain anymore, but a freakin village.

[@bluicarys732]

"I dont play Warhammer because I would rather buy a house." .. Fair. Its a vicious downhill slope.

[@garysuarez9614]

And to field a full army a dalliance with the bank at the compound interest tree is just about necessary these days.

[@dean_l33]

@@garysuarez9614 3D print those plastic crack

[@emanuelacola726]

3:59:41 in case you just turned in and see the comments first

[@JIMMILLS-vo4dw]

I’m glad Zach incorporated indigenous elements into this film. Training hippo gryphs was an essential part of life on the early American plains. They used them to hunt American bison

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Lmao. Now that’s an image.

[@exhumedlegume8870]

To be honest, them calling an obvious griffon a hippogriff annoys me more than it probably should.

[@JIMMILLS-vo4dw]

@@exhumedlegume8870 look, I'm not a zoologist. That's what they were called in my HS biology textbook.

[@atsukana1704]

Why did this mental image come with the song of the eagles from LotR? 😂

[@gamerstheater1187]

honestly that hippogryph planet was the coolest thing in the film, I wish that was the story instead

[@floydbanks28]

“It is the thrusting of hips and loud sounds of pleasure that summon the seedlings to sprout” bro what the actual FUCK

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Maybe that’s how they ended up getting the harvest ready in 3 days. They just did an awful lot of shagging,

[@solosietastar]

Explains some of the deities way back in Mesopotamia and stuff 🤣

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

"Damn, planting all those fields was a lot of work." "Yea, now there is nothing to do until we have to harvest it all." "Well, fuck." "Excellent idea."

[@KingKayro87]

Jesus, Zach, just have them say "THE TIME HAS COME TO FUCK!"

[@CM26617]

Danes, Nords, ect. et. al.: "Ex - Freya - 'SCUSE YOU?!"

[@darkroom0716]

Holy crap after that "I don't think I'm capable of love and shit" dialog I'm ready to apologize to George Lucas

[@KingKayro87]

And here we thought Anakin bitching about sand would be the worst dialogue we'd ever see from a Star Wars adjacent product.

[@marcosrecio4062]

​@@KingKayro87whats wrong with that, he was a child slave in a shitty sand planet,makes sense he would hate it

[@TheSatisfiedPig]

I sincerely hope Anthony Hopkins is in something else before his passing. I'd hate to think of Rebel Moon as his last work.

[@guyonyoutube501]

For real, but why is he doing this? He doesn't need the paycheck.

[@TheSatisfiedPig]

@@guyonyoutube501 I think he comes from that class of British actor that has that work ethic where they're just happy to be doing stuff. Christopher Lee once said that every actor does bad movies, the key is to never be bad in them. Fortunately, Anthony Hopkins has a legendary body of work so we can all just enjoy that and not think about Rebel Moon.

[@1977dclinton]

@@guyonyoutube501 i am sure he has stated that he is continuing to work for the sake of his kids, grand kids and great grand kids etc. I think i have heard Mauler state that. Because he is one of Maulers favourite actors and fellow welshman someone on an EFAP panel asked the same question as you. but don't hold me to it though.

[@atomicdancer]

Listening to his voiceover narration, I could just picture Mr Hopkins sitting there at his desk at home, reading glasses on, a tired and mildly annoyed expression on his face, reading aloud those vacuous lines from Zack Snyder's crayon-scrawled script to the recording engineer at Netflix over Skype.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

He is a robot now. That is actually him, not just his character.

[@Highostrich]

The dreadnoughts run on coal and captured space gods 💀

[@kaijuking3216]

Don't forget they also used turn wheels to aim their massive guns.

[@barrybend7189]

No even Leiji Matsumoto in his more old school wouldn't do that.

[@jakublulek3261]

So WWI but in space?

[@recursiveslacker7730]

Running off of fossilized god corpses could have worked if a remotely competent writer and world builder was involved and also everything else was different.

[@mutantmaster1]

Wow, he really did steal everything from Warhammer 40k

[@sarahb.7175]

In defense of chickens, I once saw a chicken trained to play "America the Beautiful," so there's at least something there...

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

You can train them to dance for food. Herzog himself uses dancing chickens. He has a strange fixation with them.

[@weswolever7477]

The only animals dumber than chickens are sheep … or feminists

[@ANTIStraussian]

​​@@TheLittlePlatoonthe imperium dreadnought might not have a flower mill to turn the wheat into bread, pasta and cereal. So when the 12,000 bushels arrives into the docking bay the soilders will still go hungry.

[@Zara-Bari]

You can also train them to complete reasonably complex agility courses in a surprisingly short amount of time. In fact, there is a course for aspiring dog trainers that has chicken training as part of the course (because chickens are much cheaper and quicker to produce than highly trained working dogs), in the main to educate the aspiring dog handler as to the merits of no-compulsion training. They basically work with a chicken for five days with no physical touching and only food rewards, and by the end the chicken can complete about four or five obstacles unaided with a food reward at the end. Perhaps coincidentally, this chicken training course involves a great deal of grain as well.

[@atomicdancer]

Nevertheless, Mark Hamill throwing popcorn to giant chickens is a thing of beauty

[@jeebuschristos8423]

35:38 A couple of things... "On the day of her coronation... she, along with our honored King and Queen, were assassinated in cold blood by those they trusted most." 1. No... they were killed during the launch of a new space conquering spaceship... did Snyder forget that he wrote this part while writing the second part? 2. If Anthony Robotkins KNOWS the story of the assassination... he can ONLY know the official story... which is that Kora killed them... and he KNOWS what Kora looks like... so, shouldn't he have shot Kora right in the face the minute he saw her in the village?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I picked up on 2 but damn, you’re right, and I completely missed 1. I think the fix would have to be that Anthony Robotkins has a second-hand version of the story - the myth rather than the truth.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

Its strange to me that the warbots with total loyalty to the King decided to become pacifists, instead of every single one of them going AWOL on a quest to find and kill the assassin and anybody who might try to stop them.

[@jeebuschristos8423]

@@MediumRareOpinions Someone needs to clip together the Nic Cage Wicker Man scene with the Anthony Robotkins... "What's that on your armor? A shark?" But, yea... the minute he saw her, it should have been curtains for Kora...

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

Snyder missed out on a potential source of conflict. #1 make the programming of the AI robots not be apathy, but relentless hunting for those responsible #2 make the knowledge of the assassination NOT common knowledge, perhaps only known to Kora and BellyBoy #3 BellyBoy's mottivation for killing Kora (and anyone she had contact with) is a desire to keep that information from leaking, because if it became known who did it, or even if the robots found out someone might have that information, ruthless torture would ensue. Result: both Kora and Belly are trapped witholding information, both are under threat of death if either speaks, both have a much greater motivation than revenge, and it is possible to have Kora fleeing simply because she knew too much instead of being a traitorous murderer. Ticking clock could be created by having Robotkins torturing his way through the cast closing in on possible witnesses to the royal family's murder.

[@84C4]

I'm really disappointed that after discovering Hunk Mogli's noble heritage you didn't come to the realization that he is in fact Space Starzan.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

God damn it, Starzan would’ve been an amazing name!

[@tylerjames805]

@@TheLittlePlatoonI just called him Space Turok

[@Darkington]

Using some convoluted math deciding that multiple people would be watching Rebel Moon in the same room on 1 Netflix account, he determined that Rebel Moon would've made as much as Barbie if it were shown in theaters. He made the unfortunate mistake of assuming his fans have friends.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That gets a mention in this video. By the same maths, Adam Sandler’s Murder Mystery 2 was twice as popular as Barbie, because it was twice as popular as Rebel Moon that year.

[@MoonPhantom]

Hahahaha! That made me laugh. I will say to be fair to Zack Snyder... Being a good director and being a good writer is not the same thing. He has the same issue as Tim Burton... He's a good director, his movies are always beautiful. but he can't WRITE. They are not writers. And it's okay not having both skills, some do like Guilmero Del-Toro, but most actually doesn't, and that's fine. It's like when people complain Alan Menken lost his touch as a theater writer and I am just like... Menken is the music composer NOT the script Writer... The genius behind the script writing was always Tim Rice NOT Menken, and he is as good as ever as a composer, he could just never write a stageplay in the first place. And Zyder can make a scene look pretty, but he could never write in the first place, which is why 300 and Watchmen are his best movies cause he just followed a pre-existing script from the comic books that were already good.

[@jakeviolet2195]

He also overlooks that going to a movie theater takes more time, money and initiative than watching some shit on Netflix. And streaming does not make money by views (views actually cost them money.) Streaming makes money by attracting new subscribers. Unless people are aigning up for Netflix specifically to see this movie, it's a financial failure.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

@@jakeviolet2195 And on top of that, if I’m paying for a movie ticket, I’m almost definitely staying to the end. Even if it’s crap. Watching the first five minutes on Netflix and switching off is not quite the same thing.

[@AJadedLizard]

@@MoonPhantom The only Snyder movie I've ever actually seen was his remake of Dawn of the Dead, one of those rare remakes which is better than the original in basically every way (to be fair, this is not a high bar to clear, because George Romero is left-wing Ayn Rand and that's all we need say on the matter). I used to consider myself a Snyder fan because of this even though I'd not seen any of his other works, not 300, not Watchmen, not any of the DC films. I can still go back and rewatch Dawn and appreciate what it does well, but its cracks become clearer with every rewatch. It's not aided by the fact the film itself was largely written by James Gunn, who deserves a lot more recognition than he gets for the film. Also, never forget Snyder shot Dawn in sequence because it was his first movie and he just assumed that's how you did it, apparently not realizing there's an entire discipline known as "film editors" whose job it is to connect these shots together. This does work in the film's favor, in that the actors gain better chemistry as their characters stop being strangers to each other, but it's still funny he didn't even get that most basic tenant of film making.

[@MagerBlutooth]

Imagine cutting off both your arms to pull the tater tots from the oven when you could have just used oven mitts.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Ah yes, but is the blood of your ancestors in the oven mitts?

[@KingKayro87]

​@@TheLittlePlatoonMine are. Don't ask how.

[@Chillipeffer]

​@@KingKayro87didn't want to... 😨

[@awesomehpt8938]

So on the one hand we got giant spaceships that can travel to different star systems through a giant glowing vagina (and run on coal). Laser guns and laser swords and walking tanks. But the military for this interstellar empire can’t feed itself without stealing it from some farmers? Said farmers are also collecting it by hand and putting it on to their floating cart but don’t have a combine harvester?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

And there is only one planet in the entire empire that produces the precursor to bread.

[@dragonknightleader1]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon So the Empire is totally right to enslave the villagers. The starvation of trillions is an intolerable result.

[@80krauser]

Combines predate combustion engines as well. Actual real life Amish have more tech knowhow than these morons. Look I get being Jeffersonian Amish Farmers in Spess. But this is dumb. Where are their industrial crops? Oilseeds? Fruits? Fiber? Do they make their own cement for mortar? Quarry their own stone? Zack says it's all for grain. He should run for Congress in Kansas, he can finally then be among his intellectual equals

[@Violaphobia]

Imagine the fucking ridiculousness of the modern Western military being reliant on the grain 300 villagers farming by hand, let alone a Galactic goddamn Empire

[@OcarinaSapphr-]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Is there?! I've already made this complaint, on Disparu & Movie Cynic's reviews- but... Considering how *much* time he spent on the damned harvest in the second film, you'd think he'd get *_that_* right, at least... but nope. The man couldn't even film _harvesting_ in the proper order- let alone craft the nuances & complexities necessary for a modern space epic, such as he's supposedly imagining. I'd found myself screaming, "That is *not* the order of how you harvest a crop!" You reap first, bind the sheaves into bundles- not those piddly little handfuls (or just do it for a handful, & fork the rest of the loose grain into a sideless 'vehicle'- what the?!), stook - stand the bundles up to dry in the field [which they don't do]. Cart the grain, glean the leftovers, & _then_ thresh & winnow near the grain store, so you don't have to move it as far. "You don't thresh or winnow in the middle of the f^cking field *_while_* the harvest is still going! What the f^ck?!" Oh, & harvested grain was usually _left_ as grain- until needed for use, because *it lasted **_longer_* in that form -- hope you lot like the taste of weevils & rancid flour... And it's just such a stupid premise in the first movie; an imperial commander getting pissy about some inconsequential village wanting to do *the normal thing* farmers do, & keep some of their excess harvest back for next season's planting- & him stupidly wanting to wipe them out because of that?! It's _one_ lousy village - take what they're able to offer, & then go to the next village on the sh^tty _farm _*_planet_* /moon- whatever, & if you don't get your desired total allotment from the one- go to the next 'farming planet' in your vicinity, & just keep tallying it up 'til you hit your necessary total -- it can't possibly be the _only_ place to get grain- on the planet, nor in the galaxy {{clearly I was wrong}} - & what value is there in killing a workforce? '10 Commandments' said it best: "Men make bricks - the strong make many - the weak make few; the dead make none." This isn't even getting into the actual **big** issues of characters, characterisation, dialogue, or action -- it's just in relation to the initial premise, & then how the harvesting was shown. Seriously, it was just a highly flawed premise, from the get-go...

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

What I find hilarious is that A Bug’s Life did the “defend the village from a superior foe looking to collect grain” better. They even had a flying contraption hidden away but at least left people behind to await a signal before launching. Snyder’s writing ability is barely above a toddler who just discovered how to tell a story.

[@visitingforgefather5997]

Correct me if I'm wrong, it has been decades since I saw that movie, but wasn't the villain also better written? I remember he had a motive beyond 'collect food for us or you're gonna be in a world of hurt.' and that while on occasion he showed agression was generally more composed then mister cringelord.

[@killzone3121]

⁠@@visitingforgefather5997the reason he go with the rough approach with the ants, said himself “There are more of them than us, right now they’re too stupid and fearful to realize it, but if they found that out we will be overwhelmed.”

[@visitingforgefather5997]

@@killzone3121 Right that was it, I remembered some of the reasoning but wasn't 100% sure.

[@ant00nio93]

Being fair Pixar writers are actually good writers

[@kitalalaris]

@@ant00nio93 Well, they used to be anyway XD

[@mxvega1097]

Flour is not grain. Embroidery is not knitting. Coal is not a hyperdrive fuel. These are core elements of sci fi, and I struggle to understand how Snyder fucked this up so badly.

[@TrajGreekFire]

Rebel Moon: the Coalgiver

[@jackallaster7710]

the graingiver

[@joshuafischer684]

This movie is the dustiest coal

[@harbl99]

_Reb Bell Mun: A Grain Story_ (guest-starring Coal from the Industrial Revolution franchise).

[@radioface86]

Burning the Coal is generally a bad idea. Might wind up single with a black eye!

[@Hepheat75]

The fact that Rebel Moon was rejected by Kathleen Kennedy should tell you all you need to know about it.

[@jacquelineking5783]

Eh going by critics comment about Snyder that I heard in a Disparu video it might be more that Hollywood itself has a low opinion of him. I swear it was like he killed their dog going by the comments.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Nah see he didn’t make the main chick lame and gay. THAT was his misstep

[@Hepheat75]

@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access lol

[@RonCondon]

Explain the coming disaster the Acolyte.

[@kaykutcher2103]

​@@RonCondon Headland has dirt on lots of people I bet.

[@ironwolf56]

For the true Snyder experience I'm going to rewatch this at half speed, stop at the mid point, then 6 months later watch the second part.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Good plan!

[@scionofdorn9101]

@@TheLittlePlatoonIs it though? I’m only halfway through, myself, and my brain is considering deliberate, self-induced aneurysm as a viable escape from the plot. I can FEEL my omnicidal immune system BEGGING to be given the kill command.

[@CompanionRohaa]

@@scionofdorn9101 Sorry I'm just here to applaid your use of the word omnicidal.

[@punky_pout737]

The worst thing about the grain is that the ONLY reason it is even in these films as a catalyst to begin with and not something that would make sense (like fuel for the spaceship or coal) is because there was important grain in Seven Samurai. I fear Zach Snyder might not even understand why there was RICE and RICE FARMERS in Seven Samurai. For a movie he claims to love and been inspired by, he sure seems to have not seen it or understood it but rather "heard about it in film school".

[@codinghusky5196]

He probably only saw the magnificent seven but realised it'd be stupid to reference a remake while making a remake so he referenced the original.

[@newtpondskipper]

​@codinghusky5196 yes but he probably only saw the Return of the Magnificent Seven or an advance viewing of the recent remake.

[@WillFredward7167]

Is it possible Zack Snyder was a diversity hire? Representation for people with severe developmental disorders?

[@hansjuker8296]

Probably a Jew.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

BOOF 😂

[@empirestate8791]

I find it very hard to believe an intergalactic empire would need to get a few sacks of grain from a tiny village. Can't they just buy food from the nearby spaceport? Or simply threaten that spaceport for food?

[@almalone3282]

Funny enough there's a spaceport on the same planet that has more people thus more food than the village.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Or just fast travel through a space vagina to the nearest supermarket.

[@courtneyyoung1219]

I didn't know how much I needed a faux-female falsetto from Little Platoon. The contrast between imagining him at home recording those lines and his regular "can't-you-tell-by-my-voice-that-I-memorize-poetry" persona is funnier than I would have guessed.

[@boanoah6362]

I think what bothers me most about the robots is they swore fealty to the magic princess, apparently knew the details of her murder, existed to protect the royal family in the first place, and ultimately did absolutely fucking nothing regardless! How useless are these damn robots?!

[@NeoakiraIV]

As useful as the New Republic when they find out the first order is around

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

The annoying thing is that it’s probably the best *concept* in the movie, but Zack just can’t do characterisation or worldbuilding and so it turns it into generic, random nonsense.

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

Then one of them is activated within spitting distance of "the most wanted individual" and it does nothing.

[@johnprezioso270]

OH MY F****** GOD WHAT A STUPID STORY. And I cannot believe how many times I have said that in the past few years. Does ANYONE involved in moviemaking care at all about decent storytelling anymore? It's unbelievable how stupid the stories in movies have become lately.

[@almalone3282]

The problem with meritocracy is it will always lead to nepotism.

[@thanktink4328]

agree

[@ProtValnus]

South African here, I speak Afrikaans ( kitchen Dutch if you will) and I can confirm we do sound like that and love being creepy to women not old enough to buy a beer.

[@thanktink4328]

thats just weird bru

[@ProtValnus]

@@thanktink4328 Was a little bit of black humor......

[@TheSatisfiedPig]

Ew how young is too young to buy a beer in South Africa?

[@elirussell2274]

This movie will be studied for generations in film schools for how not to make a movie

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Honestly I think it might be better if it were simply forgotten.

[@elirussell2274]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Cheers to saving the children. But they were doomed anyway the moment their moms let them all have tiktok accounts.

[@Gorbz]

So, Evil Empire went fo Grain World to get grain fòr their troops so they don't starve, right? Not bread? Pastries? Doughnuts? Cake? Just grain? I suppose those giant starships have wheat processing facilities and bakeries on them. Either that or soldiers just eat raw grain.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Judging by Peaky Nazi’s 0.005% body fat I’d guess they just eat the raw grain.

[@ajax3310]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon they grate it into whey protein on their abs - in slow motion of course. No homo.

[@codinghusky5196]

....aaah. ....grain and flour can be kept for a prolonged amount of time. ...baked products last a week with high levels of preserves. That said, what ever grain that village could produce would probably be consumed within less than a week by a crew of a ship that size.

[@MisterGames]

Pour water heated by the coal furnace onto the wheat. Let it soften. Yum.... I wonder what they were eating along the way to grain world? Grain they took from a different grain world?

[@jonsimpson6240]

​@@MisterGamesthe coal. And milk from their chained god.

[@ComedyJakob]

I've never felt happier in my life than when I saw that Snyder's version of Star Destroyers are powered by FUCKING COAL. I don't think any possible stretch of the imagination can make that work.

[@barrybend7189]

Yeah but comparing them to Leiji Matsumoto's ships are not warranted.

[@heathcliff4914]

its space coal

[@BaneOfV]

I think you've misinterpreted his foreshadowing to a greater power. It's the greater power's shit

[@davemccage7918]

I’ve never felt happier in my life than when I saw that this LP video is four and a half hours long! What did we do so right to deserve this?

[@rodrigobogado8756]

Ironically, Futurama did something very similar but it was dark matter

[@Dividethesky00450]

“It’s like Star Wars, but it’s really really shit”. So it’s modern Star Wars then.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Good point. It’s basically just like Star Wars.

[@Dividethesky00450]

@@TheLittlePlatoon It’s funny how Snyder is clearly trying to take plot points from A New Hope, but is also taking the worse aspects of the Modern Star Wars era, and mashing them together with his OC’s to attempt to join a hype train that left the station a while ago. He also just mashed a bunch of other Sci-Fi franchises into this already awful looking soup, which turns it black, and smells like death itself.

[@atsukana1704]

Hey rogue one and andor were pretty great. Just not a fictional trilogy that does not exist.

[@Dividethesky00450]

@@atsukana1704 I see where you are coming from, but two outliers do not change the trajectory of a franchise.

[@JohnDoe-vm5rb]

This is why I'm honestly surprised Disney didn't sign up.

[@aeneas237]

Not destroying the grain we hate, saving the grain we love

[@ereini0n]

You couldn't pay me to watch the movies but this, I'm in!

[@deanog2577]

Same. Sad when you know you will be more entertained by a movie review than by the movie itself.

[@silverscorpio24]

Things I've learned from this video: 1) Even Kathleen Kennedy has standards when it comes to accepting movie scripts 2) Platoon is left-handed

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Actually no! I’m a boring old righty.

[@silverscorpio24]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon Aw. Guess I'm in the right mind all by myself 😄

[@barrybend7189]

Does Kathleen actually have standards? Remember Rian Johnson and Harvey Winestien's personal assistant?

[@silverscorpio24]

@@barrybend7189 They're exceptionally low and skewed, but she did reject Rebel Grain.

[@barrybend7189]

@@silverscorpio24 yeah but then there's Willow and Indy 5.

[@MoonPhantom]

This is what happens when people who NEVER faced any hardship at all, decides to write a movie about hardship. Reminder... Tolkien FOUGHT in the First World war, and Lord of the Rings were actually published DOING the second one. He faced horrors we can't even imagine, and many things in his books is inspired from it. George Orwell was present doing the Spanish Civil war and SAW it, close up, he was there. George Lucas was born in 1944, so while he didn't quite catch the war, he grew up with the aftermath of it and the costs of it, where things and resources were scarce so he understood more than you or me... These are just spoiled Hollywood elites who don't know anything at all.

[@rodrigobogado8756]

Lucas also grew during the Cold War and took a lot of inspiration from it

[@dangerousrobot9692]

I've often found it odd how George Lucas can be born in the aftermath of WW2 and grow up in the cold war but still say things like "Russian film makers have more freedom than me"

[@E_Bailey]

​@dangerousrobot9692 That's because Lucas spent his adult life as a Hollywood billionaire. Any restrictions on his "artistic vision" are resisted. Plus, his particular profession is easy prey for Russian propaganda.

[@Raximus3000]

And Lucas experienced the cold war.

[@MoonPhantom]

@@dangerousrobot9692 Is he wrong though? I mean in current time, this is no longer the 1950's. The Soviet is no more, and while Russia is authoritarian in some ways, it isn't the Soviet Union. There are for sure rules about what movies you are allowed to make there, you can never criticize the Russian government but... If you work within these rules, Russian film makers are pretty free to do whatever. In modern Hollywood though? EVERYTHING is micro-managed, everything is done by committee, and the execs must have absolute control over every single little aspect of the movie and be able to change it on the slightest whim. The stories I hear from Hollywood from creators are just horrible, nobody gets to make the movie they first intended to do. In Russia, the government actually doesn't care so much so the filmmakers are left alone to do their little flicks, Russia just has the same issue so many other countries have, our domestic movies don't do well it's always the Hollywood movies that blows them out of the water at the box office, even now... Yeah Marvel Flicks and Illumination movies are shown in Russia too.

[@ccdecker]

Was anyone else a little unsettled by the revelation that TLP has an actual real-life computer desk, a hallway, a living room, and so on? Rather breaks the impression of him as an avenging angel of terrible media, speaking to us from his celestial library with a single screen...

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

The library’s upstairs.

[@scionofdorn9101]

@@TheLittlePlatoonAnd the dungeon?

[@SoRePeSi]

Our mortal eyes can't bear the sight of the celestial library, so that is the form it takes in order to be presented to us without risk of driving anyone into madness

[@CompanionRohaa]

@@scionofdorn9101 Downstairs, duh.

[@Tyarrk]

ok, so Snyder´s explanation of slow motion boils down to: pause the (fight) scene to comprehend it. Not sure if he thinks his audience are idiots or he himself is slow, but as someone who grew up with Jackie Chan movies i can only say: "Zack, that´s a you problem."

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Yup! Think of all the great fight scenes and all the best visual directors in history. Almost none of them have felt the need to set it at 0.25 speed for the audience to appreciate what they’re doing.

[@glauberglousger956]

There's a thing such a too fast (the entirety of Rise of Skywalker), but there's also too slow

[@Tyarrk]

@@glauberglousger956 not sure if i´d call tRoS fast, considering how much time is wasted in that movie. it´s more just a convoluted mess.

[@glauberglousger956]

@@Tyarrk Fair enough, if time wasn't wasted, the pacing probably wouldn't be so screwed

[@THEINFINITIVERSESAGA]

Rebel Moon: The Natzi Menace Rebel Moon : Attack of the Droids Rebel Moon : Revenge of the Beefs Rebel Moon : A New Spot Rebel Moon : Imperium Strikes Back Rebel Moon : Return of The Ninja Rebel Moon : The Princess Awakens Rebel Moon : The Last Coaler Rebel Moon: Rise of The Skygiver

[@HateshWarkio]

™ do not steal or copy

[@ian-flanagan]

Weird, I could have sworn there were only 6

[@Ceyx000]

​@@ian-flanaganyes, 6 parts of 6 seperate movies over 6 trilogies as promised to Satan.

[@newtpondskipper]

Don't forget the series Rebel Moon : The Graindalorian.

[@juniorgamersfire1184]

oh no starshit all over again 😂😂😂😂😂

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

I'm just wondering why Netflix doesn't show Platoons content.

[@realistic_delinquent]

Because Netflix tends only to buy terrible low quality first seasons of soapy nonsense.

[@jacquelineking5783]

Eh going mainstream changes you anyways and might be worth it financially but rarely good for your artistic integrity.

[@Tai_Fung]

There’s got to be a bit of a Streisand effect when Netflix goes to this much trouble to prevent it from being shown. At least I hope there will be.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Here’s hoping!

[@theodorepinnock1517]

What bothered me about the Kora-Gooner romance was that the movie(s) made a big point about how Kora was completely emotionally closed off and unwilling to develop any sort of close relationship because she was traumatised from having lost her first lover in war, but then, in the middle of this whole situation where they are staring down the barrel of a coming conflict which is extremely likely to kill all of them, she just hooks up with Gooner anyway despite the movie having done absolutely no character work whatsoever for her to resolve that trauma.

[@billjacobs521]

Doesn't she hook up with the hunter guy in the first movie? I feel like Kora is just getting her rocks off.

[@handbanana4899]

I like how Snyder establishes that in his setting, the empire is simultaneously powerful enough to strap otherworldly gods as power cores in their spaceships...and also too stupid to figure out a more efficient propulsion system than coal furnaces, and still suffers grain shortages apparently.

[@thatguywesmaranan]

steak, seasoned and cooked... chips, fried and salted... platoon, clicked and loaded... it's gonna be a good night...

[@AscendantStoic]

Korra: The Empire has beaten love out of us! Also Korra: The Empire encourages us to choose lovers! Which is it Korra, make up your damn mind!?

[@Violaphobia]

We want you to be deeply committed to your fellow soldier, but also heartless psychopaths, but loyal to the flag, but also cowards who only obey out of fear, but also child soldiers and slaves who didn’t choose this, but also guilty down to the medics and coalshovelers

[@TheNoonish]

@@Violaphobia that cleared things up!

[@lukeulibarri3924]

​@@Violaphobiaturn your brain off and blindly consume product!

[@pensandshakers]

@@Violaphobia My God, can you imagine how much better this movie would be if they'd managed to draw actual conflicts between the ideals/ethos of the empire and the reality of the people who run it? "Be deeply committed to your fellow soldiers" but they promote heartless psychopaths who get the job done. "Loyal to the flag" but with brutal punishments for failure inspiring fear. Child soldiers and slaves whose years of service and suffering twist them so that they continue the cycle of abuse when they gain power. Hang on. I just described Warhammer 40k.

[@Avarn388]

Rebel Moon is the ultimate disaster piece. Nothing makes sense and it’s clear Snyder cannot construct a cogent narrative to save his life. It tries to copy Star Wars and Seven Samurai and fails so miserably. Nothing works. Cinematography sucks. CGI is atrocious and the writing; it’s horrendous. Snyder bros can cope all they want about this film and the “director’s cut” but this has now exposed Snyder as never being that good of a director. His Dawn of the Dead remake worked because James Gunn penned the script and he had control.

[@RedTigerDragoon]

I think it's also neat Star Wars itself dunks on him by adapting Seven Samurai recently in the Mandalorian season 1 and people praised it. It didn't have to be revolutionary or a new twist on it. It just understood that you should generally like the characters involved

[@anthonybarlow1767]

What I found funny was if everyone dies then the Nazis get nothing next harvest and if the rebels pony up , they starve and the Nazis still get nothing next harvest. Ummm. 😢 ❤️🇬🇧🧸🍸

[@beachcomberbob3496]

The coal furnaces are to keep the Kali warm, so that they in turn can power the ship. Wouldn't want a giant head getting cold , would you?

[@beachcomberbob3496]

@@zogwort1522 Oh no! Even more coal needed to keep a whole body warm!

[@elperrodelautumo7511]

Truly this review is more entertaining than the actual rebel moon movies themselves.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That is a very low bar, but I’m glad I cleared it!

[@maxhill9254]

True!

[@CharlesB147]

4 and a half hours? Hell yes I know what I'm doing the rest of the day.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

If you want the full Rebel Moon experience, set it to 0.25 speed and it’ll keep you going for half the week at least!

[@CharlesB147]

@@TheLittlePlatoon And set the aspect ratio to 4:3 to keep it in SnyderVision™️, right? 🤣

[@CharlesUrban]

The sad part is that Zack Snyder is a really good art director. If he'd stayed in that role and let other people do the rest, we'd think better of him today. But he's Zack Snyder, so no one is allowed to tell him no about anything, and we get awful self-indulgence like this as a result. Hollywood is a terrible place.

[@tylerjames805]

He’s a better off as a stunt choreographer or cinematographer than a writer

[@GideonRavenor712]

IMO he's taken the worst advice since films like 300 or Watchmen, and gotten a massive ego.

[@somedandy7694]

Studios should hire "no-men" to hear out all the nodding and sucking-off that underlings give to the directorial/head class and then set their pens down, push up their glasses and say: "That's a bad idea."

[@petriew2018]

@@tylerjames805 i mean, the cinematography in this movie is wretched and the fight choreography is god awful, so i'm not sure that's true.

[@earlofbroadst]

It just goes to prove that true genius requires being smart enough to know what you don't know and humble enough to admit it.

[@xgonne]

I didn't notice before than Robotin said that the princess was assassinated during her ascendancy (to the throne?), but in part #2 it was at the commissioning of a new battleship. This was written by the same guy, right?

[@guardiantko3220]

Imagine how COOL it wouldve been, if instead of bombing the "goddess" esk head, she freed the goddess, with claimed limitless power that fuels their weapons and NOT the ship, because why have coal then. And have the giant alien goddess being rip through the ship, unsure who is friend or foe, transports the people from the wrecking ship to the surface, then vanishes or stays out of pure curiosity of what is happening

[@zachar40k]

@@zogwort1522 40k does ships with engine rooms filled with stokers so much better its not even funny and weve barely even seen them mentioned

[@Goodbutevilgenius]

Just watch At World's End.

[@glauberglousger956]

Wouldn't have saved the movie, but that's definitely something that'd have made the movie better (or well, only thar scene will be good, but still)

[@joshuak5958]

Kora sniffing the dirt, lol. Don't villages like that fertilize with manure?

[@LilRebelYell]

Good farmers were known to smell and even taste their soil for "sweetness" but Kora probably wouldn't know this unless she was raised in a farm anyway. Which is highly doubt.

[@AscendantStoic]

Rebel Moon: The Shit Sniffer 😅

[@Lemon_Inspector]

Where did you learn to farm? On a starship?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Hey, maybe she’s into that.

[@HateshWarkio]

That makes the rimjob theory more legitimate

[@pittland44]

Platoon, why does everyone look like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber? I've never seen worse hair outside of a college campus.

[@jjHunsecker]

That last sentence 👌 👏👍

[@roger18975smith]

Milling the grain. Reminds me of Battlefield Earth and the cavemen not only mining the gold but also shaping them into bars and adding serial numbers.

[@jackwhite2654]

The strongest hack writer in history vs the strongest hack writer of today.

[@scionofdorn9101]

Oh gods, the PTSD I have from trying to reconcile that the most valuable thing in the universe to an interstellar empire was fucking GOLD, an element that isn’t particularly rare in the universe (it’s uncommon, sure, but there is a truly staggering amount of universe out there to mine it from if WE could), and only has value on Earth for industrial (mostly electronic) applications and as a currency (more due to artificial scarcity, like diamonds, than actual scarcity). For some reason, it just seems to have this, “Ohh shiny,’ allure to some ape part of our brains. It showed just how ignorant and venal Hubbard truly was.

[@Tundra.]

But they didn't forge it into bars. They went to Fort Knox to get the gold there and give it to the Cyclonians. This is a scene in the movie, and John Travolta is very suspicious of how and why they would do that. He doesn't believe for a second they actually dug it all up, and challenges them to do it again.

[@jonahfalcon1970]

Tell even growled if they had the time to smelt it into bars...

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Reminds me of Battlefield Earth, because Rebel Moon abuses slow motion like Battlefield Earth abuses tilted angles.

[@MrJustinOtis]

"Are you excited to see part 3?" No, but I'm stoked to watch Little Platoon's review of it.

[@ominence9761]

The barn 'fight' scene is where my suspension of disbelief was finally suspended. Stopped watching it at that time.

[@Mr.E_Bodhako]

Zack misunderstood a photographer getting compliments on their use of film grain and thought i can put that in a movie and be complimented as well... ._.

[@MrPalp]

Ah yes, the wonderful paradise of primitive sustenance farming. Where you work yourself to death each day before dying from dysentery. There is a reason we had a vast system of evil overlords to make people do this shit. Paradise it is not.

[@jacquelineking5783]

Well there is something to be said for doing it for yourself and family and friends and not some fuedal lord who is suppose to protect you in return for a decent part of your harvest, but yeah not an amazing improvement. That said I assume the closest Snyder and well most people have been to a farm is passing one on the Interstate at some point in their lives.

[@jhoughjr1]

Not really how it was. The nature state is grow food or die.

[@suburudodecahedron]

Anthony Robotkins seems the only slight flutter of a fart of goodness in this travesty, then you realise Snyder used Hopkins' voice because the robot was old, the last of its kind...the robots voice aged with it. Unless they programmed a robot in-world, with an old man's voice.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

My favorite character in Rebel Moon is the grain. It has such powerful psionic powers that in convinces entire civilizations that it is the most important thing in the galaxy, not just any grain, but specifically the magically fast growing grain only found in this one village on this one planet/moon.

[@mattparsons2045]

The funny part is if it was somehow special like it enhances the physical abilities of those who eat it or something like dune where the resource has greater implications in the worldbuilding this idea might've actually made a bit of sense instead of "we need grain because we hungry"

[@danielhuras617]

Zacks netflix math is so hilarious, because it assumes everyone that watched the move would have to to a theatre and paid admission for it. And not because they already have Netflix and it was advertised on tv to watch on Netflix. The barrier of entry is so much lower for streaming than a movie theatre, and there is no direct way to compare ticket sales to stream views. So, you cant say rebel moon is as popular or successful as barbie.

[@rosmundsen]

Mr Platoon, you are the most extraordinary storyteller. A master of words.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Why thank you! But it’s very easy to look like a master when you’re standing next to Zack Snyder…

[@ShrutiP1998]

6:29 whoa... We finally have proof that platoon is probably human and not a cartoon or a simulation 😅

[@AndyK-ps9wd]

Yeah😂😂 that was so surprising...we detected a life form.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

That's merely what the AI wants you to see all an elaborate simulation I'm sure of it.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

AI can do wonderful things these days…

[@scionofdorn9101]

@@TheLittlePlatoonDo NOT go into explicit detail about what you and your Roomba get up to at night.

[@Silas-Serdar]

Before your analysis on Rebel Moon could be taking down again: Thank you for your work, Platoon. And the hiliarous comments thorugh out this elavating essay!

[@Zara-Bari]

Is anyone else disappointed to learn that the ships are not powered by feeding the captured space gods grain that has to be harvested in a particular fashion in order to qualify as worthy tribute? What a let down.

[@nunuonroad9969]

I love the thumbnail cause that was the funniest moment in the movie for me. The way that Senator yelled out TRAITAHHH like he was trying to win an Oscar 😂

[@barrybend7189]

So like Force Awakens and Macross Delta "traitor" moments.

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

*Is every single line exposition?* Holy cow. I’m not the best writer, but I couldn’t be this bad if I tried!

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Pretty much! Snyder just doesn’t believe in subtext, apparently. Everything has to be right on the nose.

[@stanley13579]

Between this, and Transformers, I am convinced that Anthony Hopkins will take any and all roles thrown his way. He probably makes the studio come to his house, where we can work comfortably, and then tells them to get lost when he gets is cheque.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Honestly yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised. He can record voice lines in his bedroom. And, to be fair to the guy, who *wouldn’t* take a fat paycheque for such an easy job?

[@vskane]

I think Gooner and the Villagers were a moderately successful psychedelic rock band in the seventies. I’d have to check.

[@IcicleFerret]

I'm tempted to write a script where the bad guys wear bright, fluffy uniforms. Just because "nazi" fashion has been overused.

[@fcold9402]

The assasination scene makes no sense (for a lot of reason but I will focus on the frame up) Bad guy orders her to kill the kid in front of everyone and then "frames her" for killing the kid.... still in front of everyone. That is the worst frame job ever, anyone that wants leverage over him automatically has it. Also, in any self respecting evil empire he would be just as guilty as her anyway for having raised the assassin and bringing her into the court. None of this absolves our MC from he choice of actions however. She is not a good person. It is also notable she is only sorry because she got caught. She doesn't even have "I'm a brainwashed kid" as an excuse as she is an adult and then immediately does what she did to save HERSELF when she could have done that to save the royal family.

[@Grigorii-j7z]

Snyder wanted his "assassination of Julius Ceasar" scene.

[@jacquelineking5783]

Apparently everyone in the room was in on the plot and fine with scapegoating Korra. I assume including the band. It would explain them lending music throughout the endeavor.

[@Lemon_Inspector]

Next time someone tells me children shouldn't be taught arithmetic because everyone has a smartphone now, I'll show them Zack Snyder who multiplies 9 by 2 and gets 16, and then has to think really hard to multiply it by 10. And then he makes Rebel Moon! "Locking on" to a "stationary" target would have made some sort of sense if they were actually in orbit and not magically levitating with their grain-based alien god powers or whatever, because that would imply distances and relative velocities too large to make aiming by hand feasible. But then... they *are* aiming by hand, so... I suppose by "lock on" the guy just means he engaged the handbrake in case someone accidentally bumps into the WWII battleship aiming wheel.

[@SupremeRTS]

Fair use Mark Hamill feeding chickens will henceforth live rent free in my head

[@sparkycjs]

Slow motion Akbar is perfection. Iiiiittttttssss aaaaaa ttttrrrrraaaaapppp

[@Darkington]

There's not a doubt in my mind that Zack thought to himself "Hey... Noble came back from the dead... *LIKE JESUS DID!"* and then went on to pat himself on the back for being so clever.

[@VideoHostSite]

The Dork Star's hand-cranked "main weapon" is aimed via literal Iron Sights. By a race that has mastered space travel.

[@meleemastermaa1449]

"After all these hard years of war" - The king says He makes it sound like he's being attacked constantly when he wages war on people and kills civilians just because he's bored

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Lol. Goes around committing genocide after genocide and has the gall to moan about how tiring it all is.

[@methodius1318]

Part three will just be a 5 second clip of grain being poured in such ultra slow mo that it lasts 3 hours

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

And it would be better.

[@jonahfalcon1970]

The biggest idiocy is that I don't think Snyder knows how big a planet is. Imagine a giant space force demands the town of Fordwich give them their food, not only ignoring London but New York, Los Angeles, Shanghai, Tokyo, etc. Then imagine how those cities would react if some town of 300 held the fate of a planet of 6 billion people.

[@Contevent]

To be fair, simplifying whole planets to a singular issue limited geographically is a staple of Science Fiction, and even more of space operas. Even Dune plays in that, although it tries to justify it. Arrakis is basically only 1 city with 1 purpose. The Fremen are millions across the planets, but are treated as a single resource because of generation of social engineering was done to do precisely that. House Atredis control their whole home planet, but the death of 3 people somehow destroy them entirely. What matters is not so much that planets and people are overly simplified, because very few authors realize how vast a single planet is. What matters is that the product is entertaining enough that we don't catch ourselves thinking about it.

[@jonahfalcon1970]

@Contevent The problem here is Arrakis is a giant desert. It's near uninhabitable. The people live underground and in the cracks. This planet has arable land. You mean to tell me only 300 people would be here? Snyder wants Seven Samurai but forgets there were only 30 bandits who were desperate for food.

[@Contevent]

@@jonahfalcon1970 Like I said, the author of Dune found a way to justify simplifying Arrakis, like most science fiction authors do. But all the ones I know do it.

[@jonahfalcon1970]

@@Contevent Arrakis is a metaphor for the Sahara. There's a reason Arabic words are tossed around, like jihad.

[@Contevent]

@@jonahfalcon1970 I mean yeah, but we're talking about making sense of a planet in a work of fiction. Or, specifically, how even the best cheat at it, but entertain us enough for us not to ask questions about it.

[@absolutechaos13]

From what I can tell, the "You have X time to do thing." Trope started in navy movies and is typically presented as: Ship is attacked. Ship takes damage. Engineer says it will take X time to fix damage. Captain says "you have X/2 time." Thing gets fixed faster. There is a sort of subtle back and forth here with the understanding that the enginner will fix it properly and the captain saying "We are under attack. We don't have time. Do a half-ass job if that gets us moving." The audience doesn't usually see how long it took just that it was supposed to be done faster, and that the ship starts doing what ever it needs to do when the engineer says "Its done!" Usually the second it needs to start doing it for extra tension. And much like everything else Zach just takes the surface level "arbitrary deadline" reading and applied it without reason.

[@emmamiller8351]

Platoon doesn’t understand, the village’s secret technique for working on the grain is bonemeal from Minecraft. If they accepted the Empire’s robots, they might’ve told other ppl about it, and it helps the grain grow super quickly.

[@kayg148]

"How do you capture giant, trans-dimensional heads, with coal-powered spaceships, whose main guns take 3 days to aim at stationary targets, because you're using a wheel off a battleship from the 1920's?" Asking the important questions.

[@IbexWatcher]

So does anyone else think this is just a big budget version of A Bug’s Life? Or the fable of the Ants and the Grasshopper?? All the focus on grain, saving the village, recruiting a ragtag team of warriors …

[@nastiasav3501]

The editor understands! That suggestion for Mr Jones movie warms my heart, thank you editor for knowing and talking about the fate of my ancestors ❤‍🔥 Also, when i was watching that part of Rebel Moon i was like "that is nothing new, it's just Holodomor all over again and the commissars had come, why those farmers are so stupid?" it's so obviously a trap, and the worst part is that i'm not even sure if it was intentional on writers' part or they did it like "let's get them to a difficult decision" (that is not difficult at all if you know some history)

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Alas I very much doubt they know their history.

[@gabbodelaparrawrites]

The Motherworld wanting Titus is the less logical thing in the whole first movie. They let him go after they killed his men so he could live with the shame and humiliation of his failure. Why put a bounty on him now? Everybody knew he was in Pollux. Hello?

[@MrWhiskers65]

“The Bicentennial Eagle”… AHAHAHA! Priceless Man! The Little Platoon f-cking destroys!

[@LilRebelYell]

There might be a reason why farmers use work horses to plow their fields, religion, scarcity of energy, etc. but you need to explain why these are in effect, not assuming the audience already knows this. Plus, an agrarian culture that barely sustains on their harvest isn't likely to be trading enough to get the attention of space raiders who have to justify their expenses to go to another galaxy to steal a few bushels of piss poor grain. Poor writing indeed.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

The closest we get is MODOK saying that they believe working by hand connects them to the land. But again, in part 1 they do use technology (lights, doors, electricity) and in part 2 they load the grain on floating antigravity wheelbarrows, so Zack really didn’t commit to the idea at all.

[@barrybend7189]

Even manga like Five Star Stories by Mamoru Nagano has an excuse for it. In the setting there's mixed agriculture setups within each world. Sure there's mass production farms but specialty crops and livestock require almost craftsman level farmers to handle. And warfare in the setting requires very specific things to do because people are one of the most important resources. Food can be replaced in time but by comparison people are much more finite.

[@LilRebelYell]

@@barrybend7189 It can be true with livestock or dairy but row crops like grain, I e, wheat, is what mechanical equipment does best, repetitive, back breaking labour that literally ages those who do it. My great great grandfather was one of the first in his state to go from mule driven plows to steam tractors. He took his operation from Tennessee to Nebraska as he helped harvest many small farmers who couldn't afford to buy a tractor themselves but could plant their own fields and pay men like my great, great great grandfather to harvest it.

[@barrybend7189]

@@LilRebelYell why do you think I mentioned Five Star Stories has both mass production and artisan farms. The author knows the dichotomy.

[@LilRebelYell]

@@barrybend7189 Never read nor watched it so it means nothing to me. Sorry.

[@VelvetYeti]

It's like Snyder took every scene from every movie that gave him a dopamine hit, cut/pasted it into a film, put his name on it, and called it a day.

[@mattshuey1]

I don't think Zack's early access model of video games works in cinema. You can't release shite and then patch it later as a normalcy.

[@cookiecookie88729]

Next time you'll wonder why your favorite Netflix show is cancelled after one season, just remember they gave 200 M$ to Hack Snyder