reflecting on my autistic social faux pas

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[@0trustt]

“Usually my way of bonding with other people is to just let them talk about themselves” that one hit hard….

[@recoveringsoul755]

My yearbooks were filled with comments about what a good listener I was, to stay just as sweet as I was. I was OK in sleepovers that were one on one

[@RUOK2000]

this

[@everglow-simp]

Sucks

[@garden.of.thistles]

"When you are someone with autism, you are an esoteric person; and esoteric means that you're not going to be understood by everyone, but you are still understood by a few people." This video was so well done and made me feel less alone in my social struggles

[@anniestumpy9918]

That one I don't really get and I've never heard that before. I'm autistic but 0 % esoteric. I rely solely on science and can find nothing appealing in esoteric concepts. Isn't being very fact-based and relying in facts and things that are clear and non-ominous an autistic trait?

[@garden.of.thistles]

@@anniestumpy9918 Well esoteric just means "understood by few with a specialized knowledge or interest", which just simply describes how I feel when it comes to friendships, as only a few people in my life have shown enough interest in being my friend to truly try to understand me and enjoy my company, which I am super grateful for. On the topic of typically esoteric beliefs though, I find that I am both extremly scientific and fact based, as well as happen to have a special interest in the occult (spirituality and witchcraft), and verious topics in philosophy. Another autistic person I know is also very interested in occult topics, while simultaneously being fact-based in all other topics that it applies (science, health, politics, etc.). I think it just depends on ones personality as everyone with autism is an individual with unique interests and ways of thinking.

[@Alice_Walker]

Thanks for sharing. My most common social faux pas has been turning up somewhere when someone has said to me "you should come along" and then almost immediately realising when I get there that they didn't actually expect I'd go, it was just a frivolous polite invitation. So awkward 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@sandymakesplans]

that's on them. people need to be more aware of themselves and their knee jerk idiosyncracies like asking 'how are you today?' without being interested in genuinely hearing the answer. huge pet peeve of mine and i deal with this shit daily.

[@j-skullz]

Sorry but that doesn't sound like it was on you at all, they invited you so you went. I honestly wouldn't worry about that beyond finding better friends who aren't fake and rude

[@Alice_Walker]

@@j-skullz @sandymakesplans thank you very much for your supportive replies. I appreciate it and I totally agree people should be clearer. I'm lucky that my actual friends are legends like that. It's only in situations where I'm beginning to make friends and don't know people well yet it's been an issue.

[@RuthMcDougal]

No, you were not wrong. They were jerks!

[@okjb-tf5wf]

It's funny bc one of my lifelong peeves has been when somebody tells me about something they're going to do, and I'll show interest and wish them a good time, then later somebody will ask me why I didn't join in. Then I say I didn't know I was invited, and they'll say that being told was the invitation. Then I say that's not what an invitation is, and I didn't want to crash your thing. And then they roll their eyes and do the same thing next time.

[@RuthMcDougal]

If I had a friend for every time someone I really liked said “I thought you hated me!” I would have quite a few more friends. People just thought I hated them. I thought it was shyness but it wasn’t really shyness. Just didn’t know how to connect and more than connect, I couldn’t sustain connections.

[@jclyntoledo]

Not autistic but have social anxiety and adhd and I got that a lot when I was younger. It was either that or "I thought you were stuck up since you didn't talk" actually once someone legit thought it was a racial thing and I was like nooo Idk how to talk to new ppl.

[@bethanythatsme]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm a middle aged autistic gal (late in life diagnosis) who has experienced this very kind of dynamic throughout life, both in school & in the workplace. The catharsis we feel when we share these experiences is so valuable.

[@bicheandoconkaiko113]

I couldn’t help but to sob the entire video. I felt so identified and I remember all those experiences so vividly. I always wanted to just “be like the rest”, and I tried. I really tried. Never worked and never undestood why. Now I’m 26, got my diagnosis 3 months ago and everything is starting to fall in place. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@tallyh6992]

Exactly my experience. I don’t understand why people react to us that way. It feels really good to know I’m not alone in this type of experience socializing.

[@earthlingbella3993]

"Ill remember your zodiac sign, god Ill remember your dads zodiac sign. But names?" YESSS. Thank YOUUUU

[@rachelann9362]

I remember people by their pets name!

[@annienamaste8283]

1:55 Tears welled up in my eyes. I have experienced multiple painful and traumatic friendship ruptures and rejections and not known why. I was diagnosed Autistic a few months ago and apparently it's so common for Autistic people to have experienced that that it was actually a question in the assessment 😔 I felt both very seen, and very sad for us. We deserve better. Learning I'm Autistic has certainly had me looking back and realising things I might've done/said/not done, etc that weren't the social norm but didn't know at the time. It's been a lot to look back and see that. But I still don't think it's okay for friends to reject someone without explanation or apparent compassion. So deeply hurtful. But learning I'm Autistic has also profoundly helped me to hold myself in a grace and tenderness and self acceptance that I've never experienced before. Seeing after all these years, it wasn't my fault. It's also helped me shift on a fundamental level away from focussing on how others may perceive me and onto how I feel best authentically and honouring that, which is a liberation so new to me. Finding my Autistic feet as it were and stepping into those (..sparkly..!) shoes that I'm discovering fit me so well 💕 Sadly I am experiencing a friendship rupture right now and it's particularly poignant as it's my oldest and once dearest friend who seems to have stopped talking to me. It's heartbreaking because she knows how I have been through that trauma so many times before with other friends doing this, so it's very hard to understand how and why she would do this. But I see as we step into our true Autistic selves and align with our truth and authenticity, allowing ourselves to finally be ourselves and find our healing, those who aren't good for us will fall away from our lives and those who align and value and appreciate us come into that space as we finally find our people and ourselves. To not be just tolerated, but celebrated 💖🙏💕 Thank you Irene. You and your channel means so much to me 🧜‍♀️🦋

[@ethergnosis]

As someone who spent years in the hospitality industry. . . Thank you so much for sharing this.

[@taylordurden8645]

Wow thank you Irene for your vulnerability. I've always struggled with friendships , especially with females. I've have several stories like this and never understand why things always ended up traumatic, life altering and just so confusing for me because I feel like I'm nice, supportive, loyal, funny, and never did anything wrong but yet every ends like this story you shared. Listening to you talk allowed me to think about my past situations and further break them down and see where there could have been an issue. I truly loved being able to walk through that experience you had and relate to it. It breaks my heart and is so frustrating to not be able to maintain friendship and I see other people around me with friends they've had for decades.

[@haha-pr6bw]

honestly feels like autistic people just have genuine intentions and for some reason the majority of others like manipulations and mind games and hating on each other for frivolous things like not smiling enough or not sounding bubbly enough. kinda tired of it. its not your fault. those girls r wack and dont know how to think for themselves. definitely been ganged up on like that despite having good intentions and wanting to get along with everyone and generally not doing anything "wrong" other than keeping to myself for my own emotional regulation and self preservation. people for some reason have the tendency to project their own shit onto you when you're a blank slate.

[@carolynmacdonald7024]

Also one time this lady with ASD and ADHD mentioned in an ADHD group I was in that female friendships were harder for her and she just didn't understand the social dynamic within female friends groups as easily. I chimed in that I agreed and I honestly also really struggled with that (especially in high school). And this other lady got very offended about it as if it was a betrayal of our own gender. Like throwing other women under the bus. Being a "pick me" girl. But I'm so far past that "pick me" thing. I've never really had that. I had a friend in high school who came off that way a bit, but now as adults I found out her older brother has ADHD and I suspect that maybe she does too. It's probably at the heart of why we got along in high school. In hindsight all of my friends in high school were either diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or they likely had one or both of those things. But at the time I didn't know I was neurodivergent. So I didn't know why I struggled so much with those relationships with other girls. And like you said, if there was ever an issue with a guy...I could just talk to him about it and it would be resolved usually. We'd be cool after. But if there was an issue with a girl it would become this big thing and it would have far reaching, lasting consequences. So there was definitely a difference. But as long as I befriended other neurodivergent women, I'd be fine. So it was not about internalized misogyny. It was all about that expectation of having these very finely tuned social skills. Being really in tune with how everyone was feeling and what they thought without hardly even having to ask. Having little grace for clumsiness and high expectations for anticipating people's needs, being very sensitive to people, and communicating effortlessly without having to have any of these unspoken social rules explained. I do find that pressure is higher with certain types of female friend groups. I always just considered them to be unreasonable and toxic people, though 🤣 I avoided those girls. But in adulthood in the workplace it's not always that easy. You're in close quarters and you have to try and get along. So those clumsy social skills really cause a lot more issues then.

[@BakedALottieVODs]

I’m only 11:46 in and you have literally just described my whole school life growing up. I’m tearing up bc that is exactly how I’ve always felt.

[@BakedALottieVODs]

I grew up in a small conservative town and due to me not fitting in with how everyone was I felt like an outcast and I heard rumors and people talking bad about me all throughout my high school life especially when I came out as transgender. I am not diagnosed as autistic but I have already really connected with this video

[@clivematthews95]

It’s like even when you’re out of high school, those experiences still follow you But I’m glad you’re at a better place in life, thank you for starting a KZbin channel, you’re SO relatable 🙏🏾💛

[@aking0309]

None of the clique story sounds off at all. I totally get it

[@juliam1760]

I run into these situations so often. I think you’re blaming yourself a lot here when it was a maturity difference. You were trying to be healthy and mature and I often find these kinds of girls have no interest in doing the right thing or being kind or having sustainable relationships. They are more interested in power dynamics and being in charge and being feared. I don’t think it would matter what you did, anything would be wrong to them. I’m struggling with the same thing at work right now.

[@zainaba.9131]

Exactly my thoughts and comment :)

[@relentlessrhythm2774]

This channel is so mind opening! Humans are so hard to understand.

[@juliak.9390]

"Sleep under the same roof" that cut was so fun to watch because I imagine you saying the line, realizing.."oh no- another faux pas- have to cut it" and laughing so hard about it. Made me enjoy it yet more :)

[@zainaba.9131]

Honestly speaking though I may also at times have a hard time with some social interpretations and I am by no means the most socially skilled person ever out there but yet for your story, I just see you as a mature person dealing with a bunch of majorly superficial and immature girls who do not share your values and temperament. They also seem to be massively insecure and seek their validation through clicks and severe lack of empathy. Regarding the fact of you trying to help the girl and guy reconcile, you did the right thing trying to get them together (you had such a pure and good intention). The way they reacted is out of your control and they were not smart enough to know or sense why you were trying to do so or what your reasonings are. From your story I am learning that maybe we could not be skilled enough to predict others’ behaviours, know how to protect our self and energy from damaging personalities and how to deliver our words in a non hurtful or negative ways. This is shared by way too many neurotypicals

[@rickw9799]

Sorry you went through all of that and thank you for sharing it. I only recently found out about my autism. My lifelong struggle of making/maintaining friendships has always felt like a personal failure and most attempts I would make always just seemed to push people further away. While I’m sad you went through what you did, it’s very comforting and validating to me to know that I’m not the only one with that struggle.

[@carolynmacdonald7024]

Omg. I feel like I could've said these things myself. That's how I felt as a young adult too. I made those same mistakes. Trying to push myself past my limits. Trying to participate in things that I wasn't comfortable with. Trying to pretend to be like everyone else and not being able to explain why I was different and why these things don't work well for me. And the part of just playing the go between, trying to be a good person thinking you're doing a nice thing and then having it totally backfire 🤣 I totally understand. It really sucks! Cause I just never know how to walk that tightrope. But yeah I totally always gravitated towards those older more individualistic people and other neurodivergents usually. I have always preferred to talk about subjects in depth rather than plans and relationships. I've always found it really hard to participate in these really traditional female relationships. It's like it's just... Impossible. There's no winning. I don't get it and I don't think I ever will lol. But that's ok. When I meet people with whom I really vibe well, there's nothing better. It's the best.

[@FestivalFacePaintArtist]

I keep to myself, my family, and a handful of friends many of whom are also some type of neurodivergent. I find most other people just too damn exhausting. I just can’t with most people anymore. I am usually counting down the minutes before I can leave any social interaction for work or my small business.

[@rrrqqqrrr]

I’m so sorry your coworkers treated you like this :(

[@rrrqqqrrr]

also I 1000% support anyone that declines a sleepover.. it’s a boundary that should be honored by the host.

[@exploringdimensions4all853]

This happened to me a lot when I was younger. It was very painful and I never understood it. You helped shed light on something I've always wanted to understand, but couldn't. THANK YOU!

[@honey_seafoam3536]

I've been experiencing something very similar to your experience. Every time I'm done interacting, I can't help but think about how unlikable I must be. You're right, it is emotionally traumatic to experience this over and over. But describing it as esoteric, that is so magical, I love that so much. Thank you for speaking on this and being vulnerable with us.

[@FriendlyLisa]

Your videos have been so so helpful for me, thank you so much

[@hayuseen6683]

Putting in a ton of effort and being seen as not good enough, even seen as intentionally being socially affrontive by people who don't bother to find out about your own experience... yep, that's familiar.

[@kristinereid5394]

This video hit me in the feels. I worked in retail for a long time and on many occasions it was okay because my conversations with the customers were easy to script, but I always struggled to connect with my coworkers. Your experience at the coffee shop was my exact experience while managing a luxury store a few years ago. I have never been made to feel more othered by a group of people in my life - I didn’t understand how to connect with them, despite by best efforts. They knew this and used it against me at every chance. It was absolute hell for 2 years until I was finally able to move back to my home state. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my early 30s and am just beginning to explore the possibility of an ASD co-morbidity for me. I just binged several hours-worth of your content (ASD/ADHD are my current special interests). You are so articulate, informational, and relatable. Thank you and keep up the amazing work!

[@elizar5929]

firstly, i really appreciate you sharing this story. i'm deeply sorry you were treated like this by your coworkers. second, i really identified with this. as a fellow ND person, i've had plenty of faux pas. the worst was in middle school when boys would be dared to ask me out as a joke. i always thought they were being serious.

[@clarityfiberarts]

Totally relatable and has happened to me on more than one occasion. In addition, coming from a background of mama trauma, I’m just now realizing that many of these girls, one of whom I have labeled my best friend, reminds me of how my narcissistic mother treats me and that in essence, our so called friendship is just me trying to gain the approval of yet another narcissist. Sounds like an awful idea right? But it’s familiar and sometimes I feel as thought my autistic brain offers me less options if that makes any sense? Sort of a “ one track mind” many times. I enjoy your content so much because it offers my mind a perspective I hadn’t considered before. So Thank you again💕

[@lilianalin8592]

i can't imagine how you went through that whole year... i could've quit the job right after i found out those girls were picking on me😭

[@maryclarence6429]

Thanks for sharing. I just don't understand NTs. How is it not the ringleader's fault for betraying the trust of the guy, it sounds like she didn't even tell you it was supposed to be secret.

[@Stellawasadiver3438]

I really struggle with socializing at work because the masking is exhausting. I'm lucky I have a job as an archivist where there is not too much socializing required, but I feel like some of my coworkers think I'm weird after I took off two weeks because I was depressed. I try to get people to like me by bringing them baked goods.

[@hayuseen6683]

If anything I find co-worker social relationships to be weird. There's nothing natural about the situation - you're there to make money, coworkers are there for that, besides work there's no reason to believe there is common ground. But extroverts have a need to socialize at every opportunity even when it bothers others and wont even realize everyone doesn't want it.

[@Crissynxander]

I honestly love you and your videos so much 😭😭😭 I have had very similar experiences in my life of just "being on the outside", as I call it. Like you did in the coffee shop. So, I felt so much empathy for both of us when you were telling that story ... And honestly, I really hate clubs too. They are way too much for me, I hate that I can't see anybody or anything and that the vibes are so ambiguous and it's so crowded and loud. I am a miserable in settings like that. :( However, I have found that I really love going to good shows though. But, the atmosphere has be pretty specific in order for me to be comfortable... So, I really enjoyed this video.

[@me6796]

I am so much like you. I am being diagnosed with social anxiety and panic disorder and im pretty socially awkward. Sometimes i do wonder if i could be autistic as im very easily overlystimulated, sorry to hear about those people from your work. Ive dealt with similar and it can really bring you down :(

[@tomaskey6844]

Sounds like Autism might fit you. It’s worth looking into IMO.

[@Selsmittenxo]

I have all of those, but I have adhd instead ❤

[@Nivieee]

I can relate to every second of this video. In most new job or school I went, there was always some woman who hated me for no reason. Then she would "give me a chance" and I would do anything to be liked by her. All the close friends I had from 10 to 30 were extremely manipulative. I had to process and accept the fact that they liked me only because my lack of boundaries was suitable for them. I was their puppet. But I always knew they didn't really like me for me. They always had another friend who they liked more. I feel used when I think about it, but now I can see the dynamic that was played out and I get understand what was going on. I still struggle to make friends now, because I associated friendship with being a puppet. So if i'm not required to go above and beyond to appease my friend's mood, validate their feelings and make myself available for them at all times, then I feel useless. Although I would never accept such behavior today, I still wonder if I have anything to offer of substance to a friend. Or either, I get bored and struggle to maintain the friendship altogether. These experiences are without a doubt very traumatic! Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing these stories with us!

[@Selsmittenxo]

Same here. I've finally started to feel comfortable adistancing / having boundaries instead of appeasing people that don't exactly like me

[@HalfLife_Kitty]

How I realized I made a faux pas and how hard the "after the fact" realization strikes with its shame, condemnation, confusion, and self-doubt.

[@studyana1232]

This video literally made me cry. I can relate so much on your experience, especially with this thing about pushing yourself to do things you know you'll hate just because you're desperately trying to appear friendly. When you see ppl around you genuinely enjoying themselves and you're here, hating every second of it, you feel as though you must really have a problem, something wrong or broken within you. I remember thinking to myself that maybe I was not human enough, that I was some kind of weird monster... It's still hard for me to accept this part of who I am

[@chocmint]

you tell stories really well!

[@juliek8361]

Thank you for sharing! It makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone! I’ve had many a social faux pas and never even realized it until around my diagnosis 🥹 Your channel is where I feel most safe in terms of autism content so thank you for all that you do!

[@belovedfortuna]

It literally feels like you are talking about my last work experience. Like word for word.

[@santana4473]

This is really good❤️❤️❤️ I love your content 💗

[@bbeba88]

Omg I LOVE your channel ❤

[@laura-mt4oy]

I love your videos so so much. Thank you for helping a lot of people including me!

[@lynncotto371]

Awesome video Irene, thank you for sharing this experience ❤️ I love how you're able to express your experiences & can I can definitely relate to them ☺️

[@RuthMcDougal]

First time I went to a club was hell. I was 19 I think and it was literal hell. I didn’t know what to wear so I had gone out that day to find a “club” dress which was in hindsight, sensory hell. It was tight and short. And we stood outside at the club and it was freezing! So I was super uncomfortable. Then we got inside and there were too many men touching me, so smoky and I couldn’t breathe, too hot, sweaty bodies brushing against me, loud, horrible lighting, and then seeing people engaging in s*x acts on the dance floor, I just couldn’t handle it. I just stood in a corner most of the night. And no one even asked to dance with me so I thought maybe I’m inferior because other girls I went with were saying that was what was suppose to happen. Guys were buying them drinks and dancing and was just scared because my mom had told me girls are suppose to stick together and watch your drink. But my friends kept leaving me and one girl from the group that I met that night was actually nice and stuck with me when my actual friends left me.

[@Elreith]

Love your videos! Thank you for the great content. People are really complicated and your videos help me understand my son’s perspective better.

[@tomaskey6844]

That must of been a tough time. So glad you are able to make these videos. It really helps. I shared some of your videos with my family in the hopes they will understand me better. I have an Asperger’s brother and an Autistic/ADHD sister and due to troubles in my life I have asked the VA for a psychological evaluation. Many many years ago i was with a church group on a camping trip and was sharing a large tent with people I knew. I couldn’t figure out how to get into my sleeping bag and was so exhausted I finally took off my trousers quickly and pulled a cover over me. I had on underwear but…… Damn was that awkward. I just laughed after typing that last sentence so maybe I can finally let that one go? LOL

[@ozarkharshnoisescene]

honestly these don't seem like faux pas at all. they just seem like a really toxic friend group that doesn't respect boundaries.

[@kkuudandere]

Just like many other commenters here, this is my whole life😅 I'm also so used to people just assuming that I hate them or I think I'm better than them... until they finally talk to me and realize I'm nothing like that at all As for the second story involving your coworker, I honestly think she committed a greater social faux pas than yours! Why would she tell everyone at work about her personal situation and not expect it to get back to the person she's talking about? That person also works there? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, as some people say

[@aking0309]

I just found out im autistic a few months ago. And it’s made me curious. When a bunch of NDs get together. Do these same cliques form? Are the rule’s different? It’s interesting to me because I grew up in special ed but believed I was “only blind (partially sighted)”. I went to a camp for the blind. Anyway, I always did well socially around these kids. Until I started trying to map out what the others were up to. I got better with the “normies” until I didn’t 😂 But got worse at interacting with my special ed friends. Which lead to alienating everyone by my late 20s. I kind of missed growing to adulthood with “my people”. If that makes sense

[@FestivalFacePaintArtist]

Dude, I learned that girl code dynamic in Junior High, it was really cruel. My “friend” group completely voted me off the island and I was no longer allowed to sit at their table. Sat by myself for weeks! Some of the girls in the group still talked to me in class but none moved from that table or acknowledged me during lunch due to the “ring leader” I accidentally “betrayed”🤦🏻‍♀️ If I could do it again? I’d tell those girls to fuck right off, just sayin.

[@jclyntoledo]

See this is why I never got the appeal of friend grps bc I always thought that if one didn't like you then all of a sudden you lose a whole grp. Also I can't do grps bc of selective mutism and not being able to connect on a deeper level. So idk I don't have that experience since I wasn't drawn to it but what you said is how I imagined most friend grps would be.

[@sandymakesplans]

i'm realizing this sums up the extraverted feeling trickster cognitive function

[@AM-sw9di]

I definitely used to just tell people things which were supposed to be private in the hopes that i could resolve the situation. Now when people tell me personal things i just keep it to myself or tell my partner who i know wont tell anyone aha

[@v.k.2320]

I know exactly what you mean. When I planned the going out with my friend (mostly only 1) I was functioning. When there was something I couldn’t handle I would leave sometimes with not telling anyone. And when someone was inviting me somewhere I was not comfortable or with people I was not comfortable I got sick soon after arriving or even before meeting. Or when I was in workplace and the ppl there where talking I was bored because it was not was I liked. I tried as hard as to fit in but most of the time it was I was left out because I had nothing to give to them. 😢

[@thijsjong]

I like to have what I call ammunition fir social gatherings and birthday parties. Interesting stories about experiences. Or you can pitch in with a few remarks because you have experience with the subject. It could be an experience you had while on vacation in France. Or some thing about cars. Or the intersecrion of road A34 etc. etc. The subjects that catch on depends on the people you are with. It is the oil, the grease on the cogs of coversation and social interacrion. With some people I have more trouble finding the right ammunition. I am poor. I dont drive a car and I dont go on vacation. I just stay at home because its cheap and I sont have to deal with the stress of travel. They like to talk about driving. Cars and going to Cape Verdian Islands and stuff like that. It can be hard to say something relevant. My experience is that it is much easier to have a lot of stuff to talk about that is not boring. I learned very quickly what most people found boring. When I think I am too quite and have nothing to contribute I get uneasy and restless. Then its better to leave.

[@foljs5858]

pro tip: the ringleader just wanted to comiserate and score some sympathy points (as is always the case with such confidentials), and perhaps to convince you that the guy is a jerk too. She didn't want a fix on her relationship issue, even less of somebody else trying ti fix it

[@missydavis6678]

You remind me of someone...oh, ME! 😂 Seriously though, you have been through so much your whole life! Your a real survivor and hopefully, a thrive. You deserve the best.

[@heatherso7772]

This just happened to me with my co teacher. We started off well at first, then she started to hate me and gaslight me and try to force me to leave. I have no idea what i did to make her turn on me like that

[@aking0309]

It’s literally what a developmental delay is isn’t it? 😂 I’ve always thought I was “haunted” by my past. It really just took that long for me to go “Oooooh!” (Delay over) 😂

[@emilyeah]

Binge-watching your videos. New subscriber, hi 👋🏼❤️ this helps me.

[@dropyourself]

I literally had this same experience a couple weeks ago

[@AM-sw9di]

God i totally recognise the being swarmed and then not mirroring them correctly, and then also getting another chance after they talk to me individually and just messing it up. Tbh I really think those clique types have a really rigid way of operating, they dont want to understand other ways of communicating, and are confused when others dont react the way they expect. I'm not saying that the clique way is wrong necessarily, but they dont seem to understand theres anything beyond that... its why i think older people are a bit more flexible in their perspectives.

[@flubberbubberc.4331]

I can keep up with the mind reading and neurotypical speak if I’m not excited, once I’m excited my inhibitions fly out the door, but is that a social faux pas or should people just be kinder?

[@flubberbubberc.4331]

I find issue with researchers of autistic traits being neurotypical as if autistic people are somehow not normal and should be “studied”. The simple solution would be to be more understanding of others’ differences. Just be kind!

[@flubberbubberc.4331]

And autistic men don’t have to reflect on their social faux pas as much as we do because women are scrutinized to their very core being, and what they find they won’t like.

[@flubberbubberc.4331]

The issue is society. It was never us. The world’s big enough for us to make mistakes, so why don’t we get the leeway others do?

[@ieatpaintchips72]

None of this sounds funny. It sounds hurtful and deliberate.

[@tomaskey6844]

Yeah, I agree. I bet it took Irene a while to work through the experience. I laugh at some of my faux pas now but mostly I still cringe when some are stirred up.

[@kuibeiguahua]

😂 they've simply adopted cringe, we were born in it I'm afraid of doing Vipashyana meditation cuz I'd cringe to enlightenment (life is cringe, cringe is suffering, therefore life is suffering.) Faux pas-es, dude, are the ultimate target practice for learning to let go. I did one just the other day, this cute girl who's been staring at me in the streets I passed her because I was so much in my head I only process I passed her after passing her.

[@arterisdewberry9467]

You're so beautiful

[@Selsmittenxo]

I love learning new terms 😮 im in an esoteric category. Its definitely a struggle 🥲 but tryign to see it nicely as im different/unique. Kinda like a niche. Not necessarily bad, just for a certain crowd