Reframe From Goals To Actions | Episode 013 Video Game Addiction

[@XTen1000DaysX]

" focusing on the ACTION, and ignoring the result, moves you closer to the result."

[@iche9373]

So after all you're still focusing on the result?

[@AexisRai]

OP is at 9:35

[@GGelix]

@@iche9373 Nah cause you only focus on actions, so when you do get the results, at that point you still focusing on doing more actions that the results becomes just a benifit/bonus, so you'll still be on the right track and will start feeling good. The moment that your focus on results is more than your actions, that's when you actually don't get closer to your results cause you thinking bout it too much, you get more anxiety and you end up not taking actions at all anymore and so you don't even get to benifit from results.

[@iche9373]

@@GGelix Thanks Dr V

[@mintee8638]

@@GGelix Nice. I like starting with a plan so that if unexpected opportunities come up, I can realize, "Oh! This can help me with that part of my plan!" Otherwise, yeah, focus on a doable action.

[@jonathanmachado5552]

This channel is criminally underviewed

[@kartoffeldrucker]

true. 2600 views when I arrived at this video. wtf. I thought I#m already late to the party almost 1 year after the vid got uploaded.

[@elperronimo]

agreed. It is starting to get recommended to people though, I found it randomely probably because I subscribe to a ton of gaming channels

[@aswadchowdhury3271]

Don't worry dude - Dr K always focuses on the action and not on the outcome. Flashforward Aug 2020 - the channel has close to 340k in subs!

[@dandankokorohikareteku2620]

Wish I could do coaching but I'm in Australia

[@tanishot]

@@dandankokorohikareteku2620 why’s that brother

[@MrCriistiano]

If only I had heard this advice 10 years ago. I've since learned to focus on "just doing stuff" on my own. But, God, I had some rough years during my adolescence.

[@Teddy0567]

You and me both brother! But even having heard that it's still hard to move to action sometimes when emotion rules I find! Hope you're well!

[@princekalender2154]

Bro, I feel you. We're all covered in scars.

[@detritiv0re144]

This shifting of focus from outcomes to actions reminds me of the expression that turning up is half the battle.

[@Geert_Stradmeijer]

This man is amazing. Such good presentation skills!

[@qbu3268]

"focus on action, ignore the result" I learned in stoicism. It's great! But maybe need an entire lifetime to learn.

[@nicolas_gulhote]

In this phrase, you're already focusing on the result. There's no "learning" it, this is result oriented. Focusing on the action is like a muscle, if you practice it, you'll do it even more. If you don't, your focus will shift back into results. Exercise this mentality, focus on practicing it, not on how much, not on how many hours, just on doing it and getting feedback.

[@rodolfojimenez5503]

Paradoxically, after following your advice my outcomes greatly improved. You are the best Dr. K.

[@PuddleLP]

this is exactly what gamers need, because we are sometimes so bad at abstract outside the box thinking( at certain things), that a " simple" lesson such as this one just completely blows the mind. Its actually incredible reflecting on this makes a lot of sense. I set a goal to do a certain home workout every second/ third day and i completely blew up. Thank you those little messages really change a lot

[@RSCrow-ow2jb]

Video by video, you’re making me a better therapist. This was pure gold. Thank you.

[@marinathr4890]

„focus on the action, not the result”, thank you so much for the advice ♥️

[@Edwiz]

It really resonated with me a lot the focus on action rather than the result, wholeheartedly appreciate this video and the whole series

[@HshsHsjs-h1m]

Dr K is a blessing to the world. Keep doing what you do.

[@antonigeno]

right out of animation school I worked as animator for like 5 months in a mobile videogame company. each quarter they would gather the entire office and an upper management guy would show everyone the quarterly results, and money goals met or not met or if they were doing better or worse than the previous period. I thought how absurd it was to focus on money goals , like, you can't control that ! rather focus on making a satisfactory experience for the end user. Edit: Sure if you are ceo, owner,shareholder, I guess the point of having a company is to make money. But you don't have to make the entire office worry about that. As artist I only want to care about making good art, having a good work environment / relationships, and being properly compensated for my work.

[@limitless8877]

That is the world we live in my man, its getting worse and worse as the years go by, all people care about is money.

[@LazyRare]

true

[@cristianhenriquez1355]

i'm not a manager, but i find it okay, maybe it was to give some sense of insight into what the organization and business is doing so the employees work towards that

[@UndeadFleshgod]

One good way I had to keep working at a personal project (I love starting projects and almost never finish any) was to tell myself that I will work on it 15 minutes per day, everyday. 15 minutes is not a lot, but compounded I still made much more progress than I expected. if I don't feel like it, 15 minutes is not something that'll ruin my day either. And more often than not, since I had opened up all my stuff to work on it well I continued for 30, 45mins or a couple hours sometimes.

[@MrGunnerAi]

i have been using youtube i dont know how long but this is my first comment to a video.I am not a gamer (played in high school years) but i feel blessed to meet this channel , maybe the reason stoicism got so popular is people start to search what they lack.Thank you Dr. Alok for doing this.And i also wonder your opinions on what kind of therapy would be more benefical to gamer type people?

[@chillsgaming1900]

Ive been watching a lot of your videos Dr. K. Thank you so much for uploading them. They truly are life changing.

[@swallz937]

I am so glad I've found this channel, really have been needing this for a long time

[@Lithrus_]

This is definitely one of the best videos in the series. How does it only have 6,000 views?!

[@ionutpostu4153]

Man, this is fucking gold. Thank you, thank you very much for this. I finally understand myself. I hope you see how much you are helping people with your work. And how worthwhile was your work.

[@jonathanelliott1338]

I also motivate myself through a bit of a hybrid method. I go to the gym to achieve something else: in the long long ago, I lifted weights so my BMX skills would improve (the bikes aren't exactly light). More recently, I worked out so I could compete competently in Spartan races. The only downside to this method is as soon as you achieve the thing you set out to do, you can definitely fall off the wagon. The upside is you can keep making harder and harder challenges for yourself.

[@patrickstarq]

I don't comment at all but, I really needed to hear this. We all are truly blessed to have you share what you do. Cheers to you Dr. K, everyone in the world, and to patrickstarq of 2021.

[@yuzufrio]

great idea. I also found the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear to be really helpful as well. For example, thinking of what a healthy person would do when trying to get healthier and being process-oriented would move us closer to our (abstract) goals than focusing solely on outcomes.

[@MementoTurtle]

I got that book, very nice book.

[@mattiass4893]

I will now use my gamer-brain's frontal lobes to their extent and try to break down this abstract concept of being 'action oriented', in a google docs. Thank you for this, healthy gamer gg. Immensely relevant information for me and many.

[@philipc3262]

Every video is so spot on like it's so accurate... it's actually amazing.

[@SprengTV]

This video series is great because it provides a logical framework to deal with open ended problems and paralyzing thought patterns. This is the first time in a while I can take something away from a youtube video and apply it.

[@GaminGeek1811]

Superbe series ! I did quite a few changes in my mindset those last few years, always was a compulsive gamer during my teens and still am to some extent, but I focused on doing things, taking my chances and saying yes, and often I was really surprised by the outcomes, thus making me more confident each time. I realize now that I did quite a bit of what you said, but hearing it out loud is really cool, and a good refresher in this post-lock-down period (in Switzerland) during which I kinda let my gaming go loose again. Thank you Dr. !

[@pulkitjain6397]

focusing on the ACTION, and ignoring the result, moves you closer to the result.

[@madmanthepope6448]

This really hits my add and adhd, mixed with being a hardcore gamer, wish I found this channel sooner rather than later in in life.

[@hemanthg1568]

Thanks, man! Really helped me a lot getting out of addiction.

[@thesabdog]

It is so weird to see Dr K standing up lmao

[@joecobra48]

Looks more indian somehow

[@MyVoid312]

Thanks alot! this is crazy good! And clear

[@lucaskazama878]

I am someone almost 40s, I can say he described my entire life in this series. (Episodes Video Game Addiction)

[@SteveRayDarrell]

exactly! I'm not sure about games being the cause of this thought pattern though, I think sometimes it's the other way around. Maybe it's just that goal-oriented people will enjoy games more. In fact I've never been a heavy gamer and I don't even play anymore. Yet all of the things you said apply to me 100%, even though I don't think I've played enough to reprogram my brain... maybe I was like this all along.

[@PuddleLP]

Its probably true that game oriented people are more likely to enjoy games, but I think that just following goals alot will also reprogram your brain to do the same over and over again. I know this comment is 5 months old I just wanted to put that out here, since almost everything you are getting used to do will become even more of a habit if it is a habit, if that makes sense.

[@lightningchegg4823]

I really needed this, Thanks a lot. God bless you.

[@MKULTRA_Victim_]

I’m happy to say that I’m already doing some of these pieces of advice :)

[@TheMorekraft]

this man need a nobelprize and for the nerds reading this in 10 years there still hope

[@hookstavaris]

I need to save this and listen to it when I shower every single day

[@soacker25]

Puh...amazing. i think in the end my problem is fear....therefor paralyzis...

[@alexmcfly31415]

"focus on the action, not the result" *league of legends subreddit flashback* "focus on improving, ranking up will follow naturally".

[@arpitlal3]

Thank you so much for the series!

[@eonryan8491]

5:38 - you got to try because you literally dont know whats gonna happen 6:05 - why you dont know what is gonna happen

[@KbIPbIL0]

as always, very interesting dr K!

[@keenanduplessis3023]

The span of people who can learn from this is greater than gamers, but non-gamers won't know that because it's aimed at gamers

[@alext4663]

Bro looking handsome

[@khydo]

Quit gaming recently and even before that I was looking for goals and looking to accomplish goals. It was difficult, now I know why. Last week I hit a plateau when losing weight, I checked the scale daily. I was becoming obsessed and conflicted. I wanted o see progress like I wanted to level up. I needed to keep moving forward and that just what I did. I constantly think about what’s going to happen or this and that’s going to happen. This week I stopped doing that for a certain thought and I stopped checking the scale, Emmy weight has started declining again. It just takes time. Real life time.

[@aydencarpenter7612]

Holy fuck did I need to see this. Thank you brother

[@antonigeno]

your videos are so inspiring and educational! love your channel !

[@m.rayhanalfajri6480]

This video is so underrated

[@jonsnow5129]

❤

[@hiitsmehi5525]

I just like these videos by default

[@curtiscrowe4680]

You making me wish I had never played a game

[@adhirajnijjer7909]

I quit gaming 3 years ago, and I still have 85% of these problems, thanks to social media; in other videos, he also explains how Doctors are also some of the worst afflicted with some gamer problems; all in all, don't stress it, these ideas can be hella useful to just about anyone

[@lishichan3365]

I love how he says a "gamer" like it's another species

[@smritimahajan9542]

he is the best

[@AmitCantPlay]

this is a GOLDMIND

[@aaronmartineau]

I like these videos

[@Ari_diwan]

what about starting first from changing identity, as James Clear talks about in atomic habits

[@spellsinger67574]

6:05 the term "the game doesn't want u to" doesn't exist irl. Neither do invisible walls XD maybe that's why dark souls is so appealing.

[@ddrguy3008]

As a gamer, action vs result actually makes a lot of sense, cognitively. Now if I end up doing it... another story. But it increases the odds of my action. lol

[@MasterXoergOwnsen]

Did he just drop into Harvard?! :D amazing content!

[@vu3atg835]

Where can I watch more of him talking about this phenomenon. Any video titles/links?

[@niftybaker5967]

[@6IGNITION9]

Related: People with autism apply to a job if they have 100% of the listed requirements, while neurotypicals will apply to a job if the have about 50%. Most job requirements are actually a "wish list" for the ideal candidate, rather than hard requirements.

[@mattward5010]

Jesus when he said 3:40 hilarious

[@moneyboyok]

How do you be action orientated for an assignment?

[@FieryFighter]

Really late reply but just start. Don't plan it out a ton, just go. You'll figure out what to do as you go, and the more you do that the better you'll be at it in the future. Don't come up with the best study plan ever, just start studying and over time you'll improve.

[@LingatsuDesignAndDev]

Amazing advice. i have a question tough. How do we applicate that if we want to progress at something ? For example if we want to progress at Basketball. Because to progress at something we tend to be objective oriented. Like : "today I'll make 20 shots. I'll need to make more next time". In this case is it a bad idea too ?

[@UNQANI]

Yeah I had the same question as well. In the case like basketball, players practice the “Deliberate Practice” method as a way to objectively observe their skills for improvement. However, in this case as the man describes in the video it’s not about how but when. I like to draw and improve my fundamentals but I need to prep myself up before getting into that form of deliberate practice. So like your example with basketball, You’d want to start taking time to run and do some drills with a basket ball just to get yourself moving then operate what you should do as of today’s goal(s). Perhaps that’ll help.

[@LingatsuDesignAndDev]

@@UNQANI HentaiSenpai Very informative. Thank you. I'll gonna check video about this training method. By the way nothing to do with that (intrigued by your nickname and profile picture), but if you're into manga, and ecchi didn't disgust you, I'll recommend you Sundome. It's really funny 😂.

[@UNQANI]

974Ling don’t worry I’ve read Metamorphosis emergence a couple of times (for pleasure) I can handle it. I looked up the manga. I’ll give it a try, thanks for the suggestion

[@LingatsuDesignAndDev]

@@UNQANI With pleasure! Ahahah this looks intense. The ambient of the visual remind me a bit of Aku no hana. I'll gonna check. I currently read prison school which is really funny and ecchi oriented too 😂

[@UNQANI]

974Ling it’s considered a dark hentai. It’s quite the long one but there’s a lot of good scenes

[@knightstormbringer]

Jordan Gamerson

[@doctoriampagliacci7945]

Wait does any gamer really experience not trying stuff because they're a gamer and they think they'll fail? Never played games like ninja gaiden or I wanna be the guy? Games taught me that it doesn't matter if you fail a million times, because you only need to beat the game once. Same thing with finding a good job. Emotionally it may be hard to rejected 100 times, but who cares if that 101th time you get a job you really want? Just curious, are there other gamers who learned that failure is okay from games?

[@basbas1758]

Doctor, I am Pagliacci I think most people don’t try because of fear of failure. Like what Dr. said, it’s not a gamer-only problem. Most people are like that. Personally, video games didn’t teach me that failing is ok. In fact, it’s the opposite. It taught me that I had to be optimal at everything, had to be the strongest in the guild, had to be a “pro” and not a noob specially in the more competitive games

[@lc300100]

As AJ's World said, games push some of us to be perfect in what we are doing. Games have a controlled ambient where you can try many times to have 1 possible outcome, so you can try many times as you like and prosper in that situation. Life otherwise can have many different situations where the outcome is unsure plus, will not repeat exactly like it was in the last time tried, this could be scary for the person who lacks confidence and thinks about not screwing up. I played those 2 games and dark souls, but still I'm unable to use in life that philosophy of getting up after failing. This video made me understand that my focus should be in what i'm doing and not what I will get.

[@StanleyKingChan]

So you just got fucking lucky. Great so now Im again leaning towards maximizing your potential for beneficial RNG

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

Wait, so are you saying "don't have goals," or are you saying just not to focus on them? Because I don't know how to have goals and *not* focus on them.

[@Meisterling]

Have goals, but don't be outcome-oriented. Instead, focus on the actions you can take. A goal can be overwhelming, single steps are actionable and simple.

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

​@@Meisterling but shouldn't I have a reason to care about the actions? What's the point of doing something if not for the outcome? I don't do things for nothing.

[@BenTheMiller]

I'm getting a lot of MJ Demarko vibes from this video. Focus on the process

[@FelipePianca]

2:24 focus LUL

[@Repienk]

WTF. He went to UT thats where im at

[@jasomega2446]

6:18 I see

[@jasomega2446]

6:36

[@jasomega2446]

8:26

[@jasomega2446]

10:37 Thank you

[@introuvable1506]

fr

[@kj-zx1zp]

aint no way I'm getting a free life coach session for free rn

[@TimberW073]

lol this camera human is trying really hard to keep him dead centre XD

[@KaustNothane]

Dr. K, Unfortunately, I have to largely disagree with your example on applying to Harvard for the job you got. Your earlier stated, " ...because chances are it's not going to work." The actual situation with you being the only applicant actually gave you 100% success rate. This is not a good example, it actually counters your earlier statement. I do understand your meaning, but perhaps a follow up statement on perception of low chances versus the actuality of a high chance. Of course, if we had all the data we could make objective choices on mere risk alone. We truly could. A fun alternative would be an example about gambling and playing with low chances, and why we do it. Thanks,

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

But did he know he would have a 100% success rate when he applied for that job? How on Earth would he have known that? Most listings don't show how many applicants there are, and Harvard is a famously prestigious institution. Given the information, anyone would conclude that applying would nowhere near guarantee being hired. This *is* a good example, because he only had a 100% success rate in *hindsight,* and he knows that now because *he took the plunge and applied anyway.* This actually proves his point. You won't ever know the actual chance you have *before* you try it. The real world is not a game; the rules change all the time.

[@KaustNothane]

@@MiketheNerdRanger Exactly, this is the real world and they change all the time hence my argument. You don't know. You could be the one and only applicant or the hundredth. His example assumes a lot of middle of the road thinking, which is his job, but that doesn't make it always true. It kinda only makes it half true.

[@L33tSauceProductions]

I've watched all of these in a completely wrong order

[@MattGarcyaDC]

the Jordan Peterson of gamers

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

That's an insult 😂

[@imsergiorammus]

The more I listen to this more i realize how league of legends has ruined my thought process.

[@Gorenak3000]

Fokn A

[@guperoner]

Jordan B. Peterson is the dad I never had, Dr. K is the older brother.

[@a_man7818]

Geveway alok bg

[@AeronwenTrewent]

'chicks'? seriously?

[@throwaway9347]

yes. seriously.